ADHD_247 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Pawn wedding ring?		ADHD_247	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/23 01:41 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	It's the idea that I'll always love my wife a dangerous one? How they do it you ask? They come from a time which their core values were aligned with Society norms and church. Long lasting sustainable relationships like your parents, mine and others from that time, the success lies in dancing gracefully together. Take the Tango for example where you have the leader and the follower. The Tango cannot be danced with only leaders. Nor can it be only followers. This is not to suggest only traditional marriages can be sustaining but I think it's important to re…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/25 05:09 AM
2	It's the idea that I'll always love my wife a dangerous one? The best advice a Father can pass onto their children in this day in age is to prepare for divorce going into a marriage with/without the intention to have children. Sadly this is testimony to truely loving someone in this day and age and perhaps we should be revisiting the institution of marriage itself to deal with this at commencement of the mariage for no other reason than based upon statistics alone.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/25 11:15 PM
8	She Plotted This happend to me as well. Her father passed a month before she blew up our marriage. Plotting for years as well. Obviously I was quite concerned when she unilaterally left forcing the current custody arrangement mostly because the apparent lack of empathy and apathy in general towards me and by way of extension the children, what does this teach the children? I was the sahd while she had the successful career.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/25 02:10 AM
4	Anyone Leave because of lack of sex and no sexual connection? Sex always takes the blame but its actually nevery truly the sex that is the problem is it. Sex is a byproduct of all the other elements coming together as a result of a healthy marriage/relationship. Sources; the beginning of your relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/25 09:42 PM
1	I became too rich to divorce and I feel trapped. Note I'm responding based upon only having read the title. Wealth is anchor and comes in many forms like happiness, security and fulfilment so choose wisely where to store it.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/25 01:20 AM
2	Anyone attribute COVIDs lock down to the down fall of the marriage? Infidelity is not marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/01/25 06:52 AM
3	Sad Going through a seperation and divorce as well and it's been aweful but also an incredible journey of s lf reflection and growth. Two thing I have come to realise. 1) Who you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore, they've changed. You loved her when she was ver. 1.0 but the 3.0 she has become, well... there quite a lot of bugs in that latest update so... 2) If there is any reason to morn ongoing, its for your kids and to that end all you can do is try to re-direct that pain positively into try…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/24 02:45 AM
8	An unexpected benefit… I always did the cleaning anyways so.... References; stay at home dad going through a divorce that I swear is simply inconceivable by way of growth and journey. Stay strong.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/11/24 10:02 AM
3	It’s been over 2 years and I still can’t seem to move on Part of life and learning to navigate it successfully is learning how to strike the balance between being selfish and selflessness and adujusting your perception and seeing the world through a correct lense - God can certainly assist here. You know what happened is wrong and also that you would not want it to happen to someone you love. So try to be that someone to yourself. In doing so you serve as an example to others including potential future partners of what it means to you to feel loved. F…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/24 01:00 AM
7	I know there is a hidden camera, what do I do? I recall people using oculus quests 2 passthrough modes at Airbnb to identify hidden cameras.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/24 10:19 PM
1	What to do when you know divorce is imminent? You need to first try and rule out any mental illness on either end. Perhaps try marriage counselling and see where it leads to. Look, ultimately the two of you are doomed to repeat the same behaviours with other people if the former goes unexplored. I would try and have a rationale conversation with her somewhere alongg the line of, look, obviously life is hard, parenting etc. we've been through alot together. I'm not perfect any means. We were in love before and like anything else in life some…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/24 10:45 PM
2	Missing her lately That funny trick is quite literally while we're not extinct as a species, lol	/r/Divorce_Men	10/10/24 05:19 PM
5	I don't know if I can do it anymore Identify what it is you like to do as a hobby. If you don't have a hobby, get one. Then, really lean into it. Search the internet for what it is other who share the same hobby like to do and where to meet these people. Check Reddit, there is literally a sub Reddit for just bout every possible thing. You may also suffer from social anxiety or strees that needs treatment or medication to help take the edge off on social gatherings. Don't give up, get involved. It's great your looking after your pa…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/24 11:48 PM
2	Took a woman out for supper for the first time since the split and I'm all messed up. You too are looking for different things.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/10/24 07:49 AM
10	Seek and destroy. The high divorce rate, in my view, is partly due to a conflict between the modern pursuit of equality and the persistence of traditional expectations about marriage. Despite significant changes in gender roles, many courtship practices remain rooted in conventional dynamics. Even the most independent women today often desire to be pursued in the traditional way, reflecting a lingering connection to older forms of romantic interaction. These practices can provide familiarity and comfort for both …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/24 12:48 AM
8	Do women expect men to fix their problems? It's an interesting observation and it echos mine as well. Based on my findings of this subreddit alone, men were willing to work it out. Their wives however not so much. And so what you are observing are people who essentially ended the relationship likely not taking accountability or putting an effort into really confronting the issue and trying to work things out with there former partner when things got tough. ... And sadly, because they didn't overcome that inevitable hurdle previously so t…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/09/24 03:18 PM
1	Resentment This perspective certainly applies to the stbxw. Not I, I more concerned about the boys tbh. I also think there is a classic playbook all Attorney utilise for woman. It's all very commericalised and extraordinaryly corrupt.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/24 08:55 AM
2	Why do I do this? The most precious thing a person has in life is time. and selflessness and loving thy self, very much at odds. And be it write or wrong, woman are actually attaracted to men who love or knows how to love themselve first and foremost.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/09/24 08:26 AM
1	Realistically, can a judge require one party to address their mental health/sobriety? I've started a chat with you	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 12:37 AM
1	Moved out. Filed. She doesn’t want kids sleeping at my place Right, so, narcissist?	/r/Divorce_Men	25/08/24 06:27 AM
1	I go back and forth Alcohol in marriage... Especially with kids... Welp, based upon my first hand experience I'm going out to say it cannot be done. Or rather, it can, but be prepared for divorce. Casual light drinking only.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/08/24 05:25 AM
1	I miss my wife I too feel this, but I also fully understand it. When I feel "I miss my wife" what I truly feel is "I miss who my wife was when we started out together". The connection we had. The passionate connection we had that allows you to grow old while falling apart but still remaindeeply in love. And ironically, it's because I want willing to compromise and let go of that woman the broke the camel back so to speak. And here I am. Fighting for the kids. Fighting for survival. All because I wouldn't, I co…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/24 06:58 AM
3	What are some if the red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you missed? We seem to agree on everything................... Sorry, I'm off to the store to fetch some more ...... Be right back. I'm back, did you get any .....? No they were all out of ..... That's okay! VS 10 years later... Did you get any .....? No they were all out of ..... That's not okay.... Agreeing on just about everything is not indicative on a relationship to pursue at all, it IS indicative howver of possibly someone who prefers to conflict avoidance and conflict resolution and by way of extensi…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/24 11:57 AM
5	How to get past feeling you wasted your prime attractiveness on your ex I'm definitely getting more attractive as I age, comparable to a fine wine. I'm hitting my peak at 42. Woman are attractive to healthy looking men and by extention that gives weight to projecting a sense of adventure and mystique. All you need to do is loose the weight mate.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/08/24 04:21 AM
5	Do you regret getting divorced? I find myself dwelling on a situation where I feel my stbxw just needed help by a professional and if she weren't so damn stubborn with her superiority god complex disorder we could have otherwise of bad a very happy life. She has issue letting go of control or sharing control. In the begging I felt we had equal control but perhaps what we had was equal objectives with different underlying alternative motives. But to answer your question I suppose sometimes I regaret that I couldn't of done more…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/08/24 01:02 AM
0	How old were you when you get divorced? 32 too!!! Your ex an efficient narcissist too? Wow, small world, eh?	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/24 04:31 AM
7	How old were you when you get divorced? 32, still young enough to make the same mistake twice!! 🤣😭	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/24 04:30 AM
9	Is my wife cheating? Unless you have kids involved, what is the point... Do you really want to be with someone whom you have to review records for evidence of love towards you? Think about this. Add insult to injury, your now on Reddit looking for those answers. Trust me from someone who knows. Your better off without this person in your life.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/24 10:14 AM
2	What are the best/worst aspects of life post-divorce? What has helped you rise again? Probably less so if you have kids that validate regularly they think your a great dad. And it's much better to approach the dating pool in your 40s having been through a divorce rather than never being married at all, the later REALLY raises questions.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/24 06:26 AM
2	From love to disgust 🤣 ADHD can have it's challenges but generally speaking, I'm very much of the opinion it is my strength.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/24 02:04 AM
7	From love to disgust This is what happened to me, it was the deceptions to leave me destitute, the financial abuse that did it for me. My love for my stbxw was never skin deep... I purposely choose her because the attraction to the light within her was enternal especially important as we slowly fall apart as we all do into our old age. But it appears she may have been a narcissist who initially "love bombing" as they all do which was was very appealing to me because of my undiagnosed ADHD at the time. It wasn't unti…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/24 01:09 AM
5	How can I cope with it not being my decision? Going through the same thing mate and had the exact same thought and have come to accept, it's my children who were destined to be here.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/06/24 03:36 PM
12	What is a reason that will stop you from remarrying? Divorce is too much stress, money and time-consuming	/r/Divorce_Men	26/06/24 05:01 AM
1	Update How distracted are you ATM with life? I suspect this could hit me again as well but I'm very distracted ATM with the matter.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/06/24 11:26 AM
9	My wife mentioned divorce This is so true. I dated someone like this and can vouch for this perspective. Furthermore, it's akin to a black hole of sorts and it will never be enough.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/24 06:48 AM
2	Something occurred to me today I think you just coined very well for me as the fundamental issue for me as well "not in good faith" Ultimately upon reflection, this is it, there are signs and tells. And your final statement regarding gaslighting, self reflection. This ultimately was a significant obstacle in our marriage from continuing.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/24 12:08 AM
6	I'm getting a divorce with the same person Your relationship with God is seperate and apart from the one she allegedly has herself. You, I and most others are content in pursuing a single partner and the peace it can bring when it's working out. Her life is spiraling by the sounds of things and anything but peace. Multiple partners on a foundation of lies and using a belief in God to manipulate you? She is clearly unfulfilled and without peace.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 03:36 PM
2	Waking up to the nightmare Waking up amongst this is very hard...	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/24 09:33 AM
2	Waking up to the nightmare Go for a run and smash it!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/24 09:28 AM
1	This is the kind of sh#$ that makes me want to file. So basically going through a divorce now, few months in, it's beent utterly aweful. But more relevant to this discussion, for years and I mean years. Routine for me as the SAHD raising the two boys, Shed come home for work. I was on drink duty. For my wife and my two boys. This duty extends until the 3 of them go to bed. Almost every night I'd make a seperate dinner for the boys. Now this changed throughout the marriage but for quite a period of time I'd be making a seperate dinner for my wife a…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/24 03:18 AM
6	I Can’t Stop Crying Today I'm only a little further ahead than you are, wife left with my two boys as the boys and I just finished putting up the Christmas tree together. I really can't even talk about it, it's too awful to relive... I'm with you mate. Feeling your pain. It's hard. Laughing helps - hop on TikTok or the equivalent there are lots of quick laughs there. Definitely at all costs stop drinking if you do. Take up running if you can or anything cardio, you have to get all the negative energy out. Get out and tal…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 04:02 PM
1	Waves of depression won’t quit You too mate.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/24 09:37 AM
1	Waves of depression won’t quit I'm pursuing certification atm but my legal matter is an awful distraction. It's tough but also very necessary I succeed	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/24 08:45 AM
3	Last Night In The House Im going through the exact same thing at the moment. 2 boys and only 5 nights a fortnight	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/24 02:29 PM
4	Waves of depression won’t quit Sorry this is happening mate. I'm going though same ATM and have felt as rotten as you have. I'm still experiencing it in waves. I do excerise regularly; running and inline skating which helps my mental health heaps. I would recommend running and getting out there at "meet-up" events. Try to join groups who share like interest. My hobby is I.T. and music really helps, the two simultaneously really helps improve my mood. It's especially hard for me because I've been the stay at home dad who raise…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/24 09:57 AM
2	Divorce is Great, It’s Time! DIG IT! Thank you for your post. I am experiencing the tail end or your message now with respect to being able to enjoy the kids more. I'm kind of thankful I did stick it out as miserable as I was at the time trying to fix things with my stbxw for no other reason than my boys are just old enough to know the contribution I played in their lives, the unconditional love I have for them and thankfully, due to their age, less susceptible to brain washing - so while she may have reduced my time with them ATM,…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/24 11:28 AM
3	WTF am I doing? I'd be careful of the complements to any woman on a cold introduction. That's asking for trouble in today's society. My approach, as I love running, outdoors and inline skating, hiking, etc. just going to join a ton of outdoor groups like Meetup and take it from there.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/24 03:06 AM
3	I (33m) want to talk to my wife's mom I'm going through the same thing ATM. It's bizarre to say the least to be a victim of this and extraordinarly dishonest! Left me with a deep feeling disgust for my stbxw which has sufficiently snuffed the beauty I once had for her beyond skin deep. I too like the op considered reaching out to my mother in law but have decided not to. What changed my mind, the play was so alien to the native of what the relationship actually was it gave me reason to pause. And ask myself, why? The conclusion I ha…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/24 06:36 AM
3	Saw Ex Wife on dating app Sad is likely because its a reminder of what you thought you had but never did. Seeing her reminds you of this, not because you harbour any feeling for her. You harbour feelings for where you wanted to be with a woman. I'm going though the same thing and I think this is where I'm at tbh.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/24 09:11 AM
3	Love you guys I here that and can imagine	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/24 11:53 PM
2	Emotionally nauseated. I did file an emergency order which was delayed to Christmas and backlog and triaging to not a priority because there are cases that are more pressing for the court to deal with During that time I was allowed to some visitation for so long as I agreed to an interim undertaking. The mminimal contact I had led my lawyer to recommending we withdraw the recovery order and to I stead pursue another following a below expections parenting mediation, apparently a recovery order was inappropriate for a s…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/24 07:31 AM
3	What was the cost of your "Contested" Divorce? I'm at 70k and unemployed SAHD who looked after the kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/24 02:23 AM
5	Emotionally nauseated. Going through the same thing... I'm possibly in a worse situation too (not to diminish at all the pain your going through) I've been the SAHD, gave up a successful career in Commercial Insurance. Did the mom thing. Stbxw made a substantial amount of money for a living as well. Took the kids against my wishes and left me in the martial home. My experience since she left has been what can be categorised as "Financial Abuse" she unilaterally drained the accounts before she "surprised" moved as I wa…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/24 02:10 AM
1	Think I might always want my own place even if dating again If you can afford it, next time around, a man shed in he yard should do!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/24 06:16 AM
1	Found a place to live but still no agreements in place So she moved out with the kids? You stayed b3hind in the marital home?	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/24 01:51 AM
9	After divorce, did you take the time to go through your entire photo album and social media accounts to delete pictures of your ex? We really need a service for this! I utilize Google photos and use the face detection algorithm, so.... We have the technology to automate this. We need a divorce clean-up button!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/02/24 04:43 AM
7	Why is it this so hard? And here I m at 40 because of the dead bedroom of only 10 months. That being said, while the bedroom by comparison is insignificant, there's the intimacy in general was missing for much longer, perhaps a year or two. It funny to hear you express your frustration in this way, I am here regretting I couldn't be more content and put up with this longer for the sake of my kids. It's been really hard.... I was the primary carer, and she ripped them away. For 20 days, I didn't have access to them, nor…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/01/24 08:52 AM
1	My Son is giving my ex Wife absolute hell, and I kinda feel like she deserves it This is me 100%.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/01/24 11:24 PM
3	How did you finally decide to pull the trigger? Interesting, our issues were the same, except in my scenario, she secretly planned the exit strategy so... she is probably also planning it as well, and you're possibly in a race within the unknown in finish line	/r/Divorce_Men	17/01/24 01:13 AM
4	What do you do with yourself? Same thing here. I'm hoping to fill the void with my passion, I.T. running, hiking with others and fitness, possibly sport. My sister is a divorcee and came to spend time with me as I'm going through a divorce as well, 2 kids too. Her advice is to say yes to as many things as possible. Commit to doing that for a year and when around other's try not to talk about the pain of it all as much as possible because other's want to associate themselves with an upper and not a downer. But yes, feel exact…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/24 09:34 AM
3	Contemplating This is exactly how I feel about my divorce.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/24 12:55 AM
1	Boob job I cannot cite a single instance where Botox improved things. Botox looks like Botox, nothing beats natural.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/24 04:27 AM
2	All these "Here's to another wonderful year together" posts. Something to be aware of that may lift your spirits... I have a friend (a married couple) from my prior life (before seperation/divorce) who regularly posts this kind of crap too frequently.... And yes, especially around this time of year, it's awful to feel excluded from that same happiness you so desperately tried to foster in your own life but feel that you have failed in cultivating for yourself. But.... I know for a fact... This one particular couple, their sex life is 100% non existent and…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 04:35 AM
2	In pieces Wow. That would be rough for me.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/23 03:03 PM
3	In pieces How the hell did you end up seeing the kids only every 2nd weekend, surely you deserve more?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/23 02:43 PM
1	Advice- We both want to keep the house Ironclad protection for mortgage transfer? Can you elaborate?	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/23 02:31 PM
1	What to expect if there's not much money? Why get a job though? How does that help?	/r/Divorce_Men	28/12/23 10:25 PM
5	How to handle last minute promises when you've had the talk to leave? You need counselling once the D word is out.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/23 02:26 AM
5	This is gonna be harder than I thought This is me too mate, you're not alone. My wife told me late November this year	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/23 08:56 AM
1	Second week of divorce Thx mate. I'm going to look into this	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/23 10:04 PM
3	Second week of divorce Sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm in the rough too ATM... Same story, tried to win back/ask to reconsider... Two kids. I haven't worked in 8 years either, was the stay at home dad... So things are really tough right now... I have (I think a real talent for I.T.) but no credentials... And my dream job would be something in hardware deployment, infrastructure setup/networking. So... I'm going to try anyway. I remember what it was like to fall in love with her and what it was like to fee…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/23 12:12 PM
2	Advice Going through my 1st divorce now, I too have ADHD. Not sure if you intend to blame the breaking down of your marriage because she has ADHD... If your not already aware; Per google; "Individuals with ADHD often perceive (intuitively) connections or “flows” that are not appreciated by others." I've felt this my entire life strongly at times not knowing what it was. After my recent diagnosis I became aware that this is a thing for some more so than others with this condition. ...And then you mentio…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/12/23 12:04 PM
8	She just admitted it Out of curiosity, as you have re-married a few times, were things different in the beginning each time? I'm beginning to wonder if all long term marriages are essentially phony. Like, for a long term marriage to survive it has to allow for intimacy to dissolve eventually.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/12/23 04:00 AM
28	She just admitted it Going through my 1st divorce now... It's awful... Thanks for confirming what I had suspected to be true, marriage going forward is to remain completely off the table. Wish you all the best mate.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/12/23 03:40 AM
3	Hitting the gym…. I was in peak shape. The warning signs came 8 months ago and to deal with the frustration, I had to double down on my runs. I'm in better shape today then when I met my stbx!	/r/Divorce_Men	10/12/23 02:09 AM
1	Well, wife wants to go to the streets I kind of wish I did this, my guys are 6 and 9	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/23 05:22 AM
1	I asked my friend's girlfriend to give him a good reason to propose to her. I don't know what to say about marriage anymore. My wife has literally just tried to destroy me from every possible means... But she has mistaken my blind faith for stupidity... Stay tuned.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/12/23 06:50 AM
1	God why did I get married Don't sell the home, leverage your share of equity if you can to get a lawyer. There are finance companies who can do this. I recently was able to do the same. The criteria is financial abuse.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/12/23 03:39 PM