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AGirlsJourney Archive

View 7 posts and 102 comments by AGirlsJourney on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That makes sense - it's a line to be determined within a relationship / for a person individually. Test stress is a good example for common complaints, or work stress as well I imagine. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 07:21 PM
1

Haha, sure - so basically, every situation is different. :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 07:12 PM
1

Ah makes sense. I appreciate the male perspective as I was wondering if a guy would feel "hurt" it wasn't shared with him right then or like something was withheld. Having someone you trust to take care of business is good!
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 06:42 PM
1

I think here is where we'll just have to disagree, we have a group of a few friends, married, married with kids, single, dating and we all kind of look out for each other and it's a pretty blunt group. Again, I know more about her relationship than I post here, and maybe now I'm the one being " paternalistic". She is the youngest on our group, and this is her first relationship, and she asks us periodically for our perspective because she is unsure of xyz, and perhaps that is what triggers my ov…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 05:02 PM
1

Sure, she's always been a very supportive / involved friend for me, so I don't want my post to make it seem like she's this terrible person at all. Now that I look back, I do think the two separate issues were confused in my head which is why my post ended up did end being about the two separate things combined - the general perspective and then her specifically. She's very sweet and thoughtful and selfless and sometimes I just want to check in that she's getting taken care of too by everyone in…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:30 PM
1

I said it resolved in an unexpectedly great way - I didn't say we were still together. :) Posting here was helpful in that circumstance as it helped identify the issues we were having, which encompassed more than just the trip. Edit - Grammar is terrible.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:18 PM
1

Ah, got it - I see what you're saying now. I tend to be more conversational online and struggle with how much information is too much / not enough!
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:17 PM
1

Fair point re: how I presented the issue. However, you guys are getting a very short paragraph slice of a person I've known for more than seven years. It is interesting to me that it came across as throwing her under the bus - that is a point well taken and good to know as that wasn't how I intended it. I don't think she's doing anything "wrong" by not telling him, if it makes her happy that's great, I just don't know that it does. Also, my "sad" comment wasn't in my initial post as it wasn't re…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:12 PM
1

Sure, that makes sense. Thanks for answering! Would you reach out to friends / family instead? Or handle it all on your own?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:07 PM
1

Interesting, would this answer change depending on the time frame you had been with the girl in question?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:06 PM
1

Thanks for your response - I think I may have confused the scope of my post / question as I focused on using her as an example when I was thinking of it from a broader perspective of how much to share in a relationship / what is sharing v. "complaining". :) She just came to mind since I had received a call from her shortly before I made the post and I thought this instance could be used as an example to help illustrate my broader question. I'm not trying to change her or how she interacts, she's…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:05 PM
1

I was just wondering what the take on here was as to what should be shared or not. I may have mixed two points by making the sharing "re: accident" with sharing "in general", as she does not share much of her personal troubles with him. My nose isn't in their relationship so much as she is my friend and I care for her and want her to be happy. I've never been anything but supportive about her relationship with her. If she is happy with him, that's all that matters to me. I know more than this on…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:03 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your perspective, you raise some interesting points. I think she'll tell him, just when they're back together in person probably and mention it as an after-the-fact. They're serious in their own way - both have mutual goals, they've met each others' friends, been monogamously together since basically date two, etc. I'm all for her doing whatever she thinks is best for her relationship, but as her friend, it makes me a little sad that she doesn't share stuff like this with him …
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:44 AM
1

Oh wow, I get that thought process. Sounds like you are both on the same page and you know that you can hold down the fort while he's away. I just don't know her particular thought process, I think she's afraid of bothering him and seeming needy which I think comes from a different place than where you were coming from.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 04:39 AM
0

Thanks for the response. Yeah, it was her first accident too! She was majorly scared, but she wasn't annoying about it and I was happy to support her. I was surprised she had not told her BF as well. That's a great point about vulnerability, I think that's what was missing in my post - I couldn't figure out why her behavior was a little unsettling to me and I think it's because she's not being vulnerable with him (maybe behind closed doors or in other ways, but to the extent ot my knowledge).
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/15 02:11 AM
2

Yeah, thank you! It's definitely a weird response, or "maybe if I wish hard enough we won't be incompatible anymore" or "if we spend enough time together we won't be". Now that I think about all the times he's mentioned her, he always has hedged everything - whereas with his other female friend he clearly stated she was just not attractive to him, period - apart from being married and pregnant too (funny, in pictures, I think she's actually quite pretty)!
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/15 02:02 PM
2

Definitely! It lowered his "value" in my eyes a lot, which again, sounds harsh, but was the way I felt. I am attracted to him because he is self-assured and confident, and generally has high standards for the people in his life and to witness this whole rationalization / justification / hamstering was a turn off.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 02:31 AM
1

Right! Exactly, I feel like he doesn't consider me in these decisions or think about my feelings. I think he's been a bachelor a long time and isn't used to making adjustments for someone else in his life, despite wanting to be in a committed relationship. He actually hasn't been great at compromising much at all, and I've been doing all of the giving-in in this relationship, which I'm fine with, but if I'm not getting respect and closeness in response - then there's no point. The "not compatibl…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 02:26 AM
1

True - and I'm resisting white knight-essing the white knight. :) He is a very sweet person with good intentions, but his good intentions are overcoming the appropriate boundaries one should have in an allegedly committed relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 02:21 AM
2

Thanks for the support! He would definitely not be okay with me taking a trip with a guy, nor would I ever even consider it - even if my BF said it was okay because I just think it's so disrespectful, and I know that other people in his circle / my circle would think it was bad, and it would reflect poorly on him.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/15 02:20 AM
2

Good points!! I think he's hamstered himself into thinking he really is just being a good friend. I'm nervous about the break up, I've never done it and not sure if I should be giving an explanation or just saying I think it's best we go separate ways. I've made a list for myself of the things I'm unhappy with just so I'm clear, but I would not share that. As a good takeaway, I've learned a lot about what I want from a partner and what I won't accept! :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 07:38 PM
1

Thank you! I appreciate that, I was nervous that people might think I was being too emotional or not understanding enough, so it's helpful to hear that I'm doing the right thing.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 07:37 PM
3

Right? And he didn't say he did not want to, or that he wouldn't because we're in a committed relationship, but because they are not "compatible".
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 03:24 PM
3

Thank you! It is definitely a lot easier said than done, but I am prepping myself. I didn't sleep well last night, but that will happen. The illogical behavior was really bad - he always talks about how rational and logical he is and isn't a very emotional person, and he generally behaves in a manner supporting that. This was just way out of bounds. It also makes me feel like - well jeez, I'm being held to this high standard by him and expected to be mature and rational and whatever else, but he…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 02:47 PM
2

So much justification! It was not appealing - I doubt that it's appealing in women, much less a guy. It is clear he is still attracted to her, definitely, and I have no interest in being a second pick! His behavior also makes me feel like I have to defend myself / stand up for myself too, as in - hey, I'm also an objectively attractive female too, younger than her, apparently more emotionally stable, with I believe a better body based on pictures haha, I'm smart, funny, feminine, and whatever el…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 02:43 PM
2

Right? It was pretty appalling, and just not very self-aware, a lot of justifying on his end, and I just was not a fan. It was also super weird that he didn't want to do a four-way meeting with our respective "friends", I specifically said I was suggesting it so that no one person feels like a third wheel with us.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 02:42 PM
3

Yeah, exactly - to be perfectly honest, I offered to drive so he could enjoy a strong drink, knowing he'd be a little more talkative. I didn't even bring her up or the trip, that was of his own volition. The whole speech was just icky on so many levels. I was saying it was a "conversation" but I really stopped participating in it about five minutes in, and it kept going.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 06:14 AM
2

Thank you! I do think I gave him more leeway since this was my first serious relationship, but his whole speech about her was just so awkward and I let him go on to see how long it would go on for and it kept going! The longer it went, the more viscerally repelled I was by him (and maybe that's part attraction-based and part self-protection based), so that is making things a little easier.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 05:41 AM
4

I agree, that was definitely the difference for me. I'm really fine with him traveling, and something about the trip was just a little weird, but then the whole most recent conversation was pretty blatant. He also helped Anna with her move and spent extra time with her because this is the first time she's ever lived alone and she was scared (which, standing alone is also fine, but it just kept piling up).
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 04:40 AM
12

Because it felt like he was a "beta orbiter" to this other girl, and it was an unattractive quality. Meaning - he was making all these excuses for her behavior when other people seemed to be distancing themselves from her, he wanted to do nice things for her, be supportive, - because she's a pretty girl that he can't have. He never said he was not attracted to her, just that they were not "compatible". So then why would I want him if he's doing all these things for a girl he's attracted to, but …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 03:24 AM
1

Thanks! :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 03:19 AM
2

Thank you, I appreciate it!
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 12:52 AM
2

Exactly! It made me squicked out thinking about him in that light. He's very confident and self assured in general, so this took all that down a notch immediately. I was surprised at how much it mattered.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 12:44 AM
3

Thanks, sucks, but could be a lot worse. :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 11:58 PM
11

Yeah, the whole conversation was a major turn off. :( I'm all for having compassion and being a good friend, but it was too much, and all the more unattractive because I knew he was only acting this way because she's a pretty girl. Maybe this is why he's the only of all his friends who is single.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 11:09 PM
14

Thank you! It's a lot harder to do it in practice! I'm trying to be as rational about it as possible, but feelings are complicated haha. :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 11:05 PM
6

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please don't be upset with yourself for being trusting - up through now, he has been trustworthy and it's a good thing to be trusting of your partner. First, how are you sure he did not sleep with her? He might just be telling you a "minimized version" of what happened. I feel like that concern would be in the back of my head forever - if it's not a concern for you, then that's for you to decide. Second, whether or not you forgive him is up to you - you're both…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 09:48 PM
1

My friends and I meant it as a joke. :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 03:58 PM
3

I'm going on a trip with a female friend (I've known her for about seven years now) and he already makes poke-y jealous-y jokes about me going on a trip all alone with her, and whether we're sharing a room, and all that jazz - and it's a week-long trip...with a female friend - who's straight! So I hope that he can understand my being uncomfortable about his situation, and if not, then there's nothing more I can do about his position, but I can remove myself from it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 04:40 AM
1

Ah, you raise some great points. Thanks for sharing, that is true - objectively, it's just a sketchy situation!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 04:38 AM
1

Thank you! I think this is a key point for me, I'm still not sold he'll jump into bed with her, but yes, they are sharing an emotional intimacy I won't be a part of. I take responsibility for not piping up that it was weird when he first brought it up, but I'll just have to mention it soon!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 02:26 AM
1

Yeah, I don't have a problem with his trip at all and this is a squicky situation because I want him to take his trip and have fun. I do understand not wanting to plan a big trip with me when it's unknown if we'll still be together then, but this circumstance is definitely not ideal and a little inconsiderate and if the shoe were on the other foot, he would definitely not be okay with me going on a trip with a guy.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 02:24 AM
1

I agree - I personally believe the possibility for physical cheating is less troublesome (only because I really do trust he has good intentions on this front and at this point in time he truly has no intentions on sleeping with this girl), but he is still planning a whole trip with another single female. Even if no hanky panky ensues, it's a little unsettling. I don't think he's ever "planned" a trip like this with a male friend, you know? He goes on group trips with guys and goes on trips alone…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 02:21 AM
1

Right, that's the thing - I trust him in what he says, but I have not met his friends, so I can only say this is to the best of my knowledge. He has not met my friends either. In public he does call me his girlfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 02:19 AM
3

That's a good idea actually! I wouldn't mind doing a shorter trip, that could be fun. Yeah, not meeting his friends is a little weird, but he hasn't met mine either and I have far more in the LA area. I would definitely want to meet Anna soon...
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 03:08 PM
3

No, I think the thing that bothers me far more than them potentially sleeping together, is the fact that they will be bonding a lot over this trip. Again, I just saw this as him going out with a friend - and I wouldn't be jealous if he was going and bonding with a guy friend, but I guess it is just plain different if she's a female.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 03:07 PM
2

Right, that's my bigger concern because I am okay with it now based on the newness of the relationship and not wanting to prohibit him from having fun and traveling, but I think if we were married or together longer, I would not be okay with it and he might think it's weird / a bait and switch, but my boundaries would actually be different.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 03:06 PM
1

Yeah, I don't have a problem with him having girl-friend at all, or about him traveling. He travels a lot and really enjoys it, and I totally saw this trip as him going with just a friend. It's definitely concerning when the majority of people I've spoken with and here are far more concerned though, I do think I should just talk with him at the very least.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 03:05 PM
1

Right - now that I've had a lot more input on it, I'm more concerned about the trip, and also more concerned about his judgment and / or intentions and / or lack of consideration for me. Whichever way, not fantastic. Thanks for your take on this.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 06:00 AM
2

Thanks for this perspective. Yes, I agree that not putting yourself in bad situations where things can "lead to the next" is part of being a good partner and having good judgment on the same.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 05:10 AM
2

Thank you! I appreciate the good vibes. :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 05:08 AM
1

Thanks for your input! You responded much like my friend who inspired me to post here. She was really upset and said I shouldn't let him walk over me like this. I guess I put too much faith in the whole "just friends" thing, and really saw it like him planning a trip with a guy. Clearly - not the case, but that's why I posted here to get some other views!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 03:07 AM
2

I think that is why I am getting an ookie feeling, it's just a little weird period!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 02:43 AM
1

Does it make a difference if I know (or at least he's represented that) he's more conservative sexually / doesn't have an actual history of having flings? Again, this is just to my knowledge - taking it on it's face, would that change that perspective? Or am I doing a female version of NAWALT? :P Well, just because it's never happened before doesn't mean it can't or won't happen, right?
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 02:43 AM
1

All of his male friends are scattered across the US, locally he has the two female friends mentioned. He hasn't met my friends yet either.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 02:42 AM
2

Thank you! That is a fair point. I don't want to seem controlling or unreasonable, but at this point based on this forum and all of my IRL friends' responses, I would not be unreasonable in talking with him about it. I do trust him, but yeah, this situation is not the greatest, so I'll definitely talk to him before they make any more plans for the trip.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 12:18 AM
2

True, I give him the benefit of the doubt in that I haven't expressed in any way that I'm not okay with the trip, so I'll take the responsibility for that piece of it. The rest of it is on him, and again, he would NOT be okay if the roles were reversed, so it's inconsiderate at the very best that he's planning this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:23 PM
3

Yeah, I'd also want to meet her before they go on the trip. I feel like there's too much unknown. He had told me before that if I ever met her I wouldn't "worry" about her as I'd "see why" they're not compatible, but I that's different than "she's not attractive". Which is what he, very kindly, says about his married female friend. Also, the husband of the other friend said the girl behaved in an "annoying" way, and my boyfriend said was "entertaining" to him, not annoying.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:21 PM
1

"if you're not then great but realise that you probably will be after reading everything in this thread, try not to go full crazy on him." Haha, you are correct! ;) He's coming back tonight from his guys trip and I'm like "Ok...don't...talk about it with him today...don't dooo itttt....calm down!" Yes, I do think I need more details about their planned living arrangements and payment and see how it plays out. Also, I would not be okay with this behavior ongoing - so I also need to consider how I…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:18 PM
1

Yeah, funny enough, of everything, that's what bothered me the most initially, that I was never invited or thought of to be invited.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:10 PM
5

Ah, you know, that's the other part of the equation I didn't consider, which is the female friend's intentions / perspectives. It is a little sketchy to invite a guy, who has a girlfriend, to go on a long trip with you. They mostly hung out in groups prior to recently I believe, or at least with their other married, female friend, but the married female friend's husband doesn't like Anna, and didn't want to hang out with her in a group anymore. The timing is a little suspicious on her end, sure …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:09 PM
2

The whole situation is definitely a little off, even if he is going in with totally innocent intentions, it's just a good practice not to put yourself in situations like that with members of the opposite sex I believe. So it's a judgment call that I feel can be construed as ambiguous on his end.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 09:20 PM
1

Yeah, would you recommend that I just accept this is who he is and either accept it or move on, or to say something and then see what happens from there?
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 09:16 PM
2

Awww that is really sweet! Congratulations to you! :) And thanks again for all of your input, I'll definitely give an update!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 09:06 PM
3

Sorry, I was paraphrasing. I believe he said "I haven't seen anyone else since I met you" or "Since I met you, I haven't dated anyone else". Something along those lines, but that's a minor difference. That is also true that trips are a bonding / intimacy building experience and that's something I would want to share with him and not someone else. That was part of my general bummed-ness in not being able to go, but it doesn't make it easier that he'd want to go with a single girl-friend.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 09:05 PM
2

Thanks for sharing this perspective. So would you recommend me just saying how the trip makes me feel, and then let him make the decision about what to do from there? Because I don't want to be like "Don't go on the trip with her"
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 09:01 PM
1

No, he has not gone on a trip with her. He was going to do a weekend to Vegas with her and another female, married friend a few months ago when he and I first started dating, but that got cancelled.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:57 PM
3

I definitely think this is more concerning than I initially took it. While on his current trip, he received news of the death of a family member, so he is flying out mid-week to go to the funeral, etc. So I don't think I'll be talking with him about this anytime in the immediate future. Their plans are also very nebulous now though, so I think it would make more sense for me to say something before they get any more concrete in their planning. I think the other thing was - I was considering his …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:55 PM
2

Yes, we spoke about this really early on. He brought it up to me actually, asking if I wanted to get married and if I was ready for a serious relationship (due to my younger age and also my inexperience in relationships). He definitely wants to get married, and the reason he broke up with prior girls around 6 months is that by that time, he could tell that he didn't want to be with them long-term, so he ended things so neither of them wasted more time. I also definitely want to get married, but …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:49 PM
1

He didn't say why, it was just assumed I wouldn't go. I don't know if it's because he knew my work schedule (which he does), or he thought I wouldn't be interested or able to afford it, or if he didn't want to plan a long trip at the end of the year with someone he's only been with for five months or what. While it's true that I wouldn't be able to do it unless I quit my job haha, it still would have been nice to have had a courtesy invitation - but he's pretty straightforward and doesn't really…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:46 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I think what was off about the situation as well is that they seem to be planning a vacation together and figuring out where to go with each other. As opposed to both independently wanting to see Japan, and then being like, "hey, let's both go".
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:43 PM
1

I feel like he's not really committed in a way, though we are "boyfriend/girlfriend". He jokes about the "6 month" mark, as he broke up with his last 3-4 girlfriends around 6 months.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:38 PM
5

Thanks for your analysis of the situation. I feel like since we are a "new" relationship, I didn't want to restrict him on what he does, but at the same time - the trip would take place at the end of the year and if we're still together, we'd have been together almost a year by then. Also, I would never go on an overnight trip with a guy friend if I'm in a relationship - even if I knew it was innocent. My boyfriend has been openly discussing it with me, which is what I think makes me less worrie…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:36 PM
1

Thanks for your input! Yeah, I guess just because it doesn't bother me, it's not really respectful / thoughtful behavior either. Like I would never travel with a guy for three weeks out of the country, even if I "knew" it was strictly platonic, I just think that would be really inappropriate, but I'm not holding him to the same standard apparently.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:33 PM
1

Yes, he travels a lot. He's gone on big overseas trips for a few weeks at a time the last few years. He's gone on a bachelor party in Europe, some other places in Europe alone, some of the Baltic locations with a married couple friend of his, and all across the US with friends.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:32 PM
2

That's also a fair point, that I'll never know what happened, if anything and that in and of itself could be hard to deal with.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:31 PM
3

I agree regarding the traveling, he will always have more vacation time than I do if our respective jobs stay the same, and while I would love to travel with him. I absolutely will not be able to go with him on even 60% of his trips. I'm okay with that, he likes traveling, he shouldn't stop just because I can't go. The second part of the equation is him going with another single female. While it doesn't bother me now, because I do think of us as being a new relationship / not heavily invested, I…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 08:30 PM
3

I think that's what I'm struggling with - because I do trust him, but it is just objectively weird behavior?
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 05:51 PM
7

Thanks for sharing your perspective, I appreciate it. I didn't want to set boundaries / force rules on him, and was letting him make the decisions for himself of what he thinks is appropriate or inappropriate. I trusted that he would make the appropriate decisions, but the situation is definitely a little objectively weird and if a female friend of mine was telling me this story, I would think it was inappropriate as well. I will look at this as an opportunity to evaluate my boundaries and what …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 05:50 PM
2

I agree, just to clarify though, all the recent trips are with his male friends from high school / college / grad school. They're all married with kids. The trip he's planning would be the first he's taken with this female friend of his. My personal instinct was to be only a little bothered by him planning a trip without thinking of inviting me v.s. him going with a female friend - but now that seems to be the bigger issue, so I need to reconsider if I'm really okay with it myself. Thanks for yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 05:45 PM
5

Yeah, that is probably the thing that bothers me the most. He does know that my work schedule doesn't permit it. I only have five vacation days left, so I can't do a three week trip at the end of the year. I just figured he knew I couldn't go, so there was no point in asking. It still would have been nice to have had him want to make a trip with me somewhere else or for a shorter amount of time though!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 05:09 PM
3

I was coming from a place of trusting that nothing would happen on the trip. They work in the same company (large company, they don't work directly together) and have been friends for a few years - if something were to happen and he / she wanted something to happen, I assumed that it would have already. I'm fine with him having friends of the opposite gender. If he is going to be sleeping with her on the trip, then no, I'm definitely not okay with that. I truly believed that this is really just …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 05:02 PM
2

That's a fair point, I guess I didn't look at it that way. He was the one to bring up that he isn't seeing anyone else and the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation, but I guess actions > words? Overall he has been very sweet, he made plans for my birthday, Valentine's day, and we spend a lot of time together in general, I just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 04:03 PM
11

I'm not okay if that happens as we are supposed to be exclusive and he brought up the boyfriend / girlfriend conversation before I did. He also made if very clear to me within a few dates that he had stopped seeing everyone else. We spend almost every day together, except when I am not available. However, if that is his plan to have a fling, then I don't know how I would "prohibit" that so to speak, or if I would want to. If he wants to have a fling, then I wouldn't want to be with him, and corr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 03:55 PM
1

Can I ask why it doesn't seem right? I think I'm getting that response a lot - is it just one of those things you "shouldn't do" when you're in a relationship? I mean, I wouldn't do it, but I think he would be okay with me going on a trip with another guy, so I just think he doesn't think this is a big deal.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 03:52 PM
6

He is my boyfriend - can I ask why he shouldn't go in your opinion? And how would I bring it up or just let him, if ever? I feel like I'm in a place where I should either just trust him and let him do what he will, or say something to at least let him know this is a little shady - but I don't know how to bring it up and I honestly wasn't bothered by this before talking with my friends and now seeing the response here!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 03:50 PM
1

I do think he is just friends friends with Anna and that's why I wasn't bothered by it. I was telling my friends if he went out on a trip with one of his guy friends, would they be bothered? And they all said no, so I said that was basically just how I saw it and he's been upfront with me about it and hasn't been shady about it at all. Thank you for your thoughts! :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 03:30 PM
2

He talked to me about the trip in the sense of informing me, not about asking me. He had planned to go alone initially and was running a few places by me and why he thought they were interesting, just general talking. He didn't ask me about how I felt about him going with Anna. In December or so he was going to go to Vegas for a weekend with his two female friends, and he had asked me then "Anna and Jane want to go to Vegas with me, is that ok?" I said it was totally fine (they didn't end up goi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 03:25 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your perspective! I think that's true in some ways and not in others, I am pretty flirtatious and innuendo driven for someone with as limited experience as I have. I've had to tone it down a lot actually! I an trying to find a balance where it's more lightly flirty and less overtly so. He likes chasing me, which works out well as he is tall and fast and I am definitely slower! I tried the playfully aghast but he stole it!! And with his deadpan delivery, I'm not sure if he's ju…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/15 11:29 PM
1

He has been very patient on the physical front and wanting to make sure I am comfortable and happy. Which is really great, he's just very analytical and sometimes I feel like he is data collecting rather than just enjoying the time around me. Doesn't mean that is a negative at all, I just want him to enjoy the time he spends with me too!
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/15 11:24 PM
2

I'm patient because he has many good qualities and I like him. The post emphasized more negative issues because that is that I seek input on - I don't need any advice on the positives! :) I also think relationships take time to develop and a willingness to communicate and not bail at the smallest issue. We have clicked in many ways, things just aren't "perfect", nor would I ever expect them to be!
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/15 11:19 PM
1

I'm prone to overthinking too!! In everything! :) Thanks for the advice - I need to keep myself in check a little and get a little thicker skin (good for me in general).
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/15 04:01 AM
1

Wow, thanks for putting this so clearly. It does seem like we are getting crossed signals between what is being said and what is being heard. I think we are both up for working on our communication.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/15 08:55 PM
1

I'm totally on board with play wrestling but he is not at all. He jokes that I could beat him up ( I'm 5'5" and 110, but athletic, and he isn't athletic at all and very slender as well). Thanks again for sharing your take!
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/15 08:51 PM
1

Yeah, I feel like I'm trying to be communicative and talking to him and keeping open about talking about all kinds of subjects, even ones that make me uncomfortable. I just don't know where to fall in terms of being open and communicative v.s. not talking about things that make me uncomfortable and risking getting overly sensitive about a subject.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/15 03:40 PM
2

Thanks for responding with your perspective, it's an interesting one! That's an interesting possibility - right now I'm just going along with the banter (which often includes me being "into" my female friends, and a lot of "so THAT's why you hang out with Jane") and it's funny clearly, it's just really constant. I also try the escalate thing where it's like "Yeah, that's the only reason we're friends, you know / Yeah, she really knows the female body." But that just seems to encourage it more! :…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/15 03:36 PM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response. To answer your questions, early on he let me know that since he started seeing me he had not gone out with anyone else and about a month ago, we had a conversation wherein we both stated we weren't dating other people and that it wasn't "ok" to date other people at this point. He's made a few jokes about being boyfriend / girlfriend, but we do not call each other that at this point. He calls me "the girl I'm seeing" to his friends. Re: seeing me as masculin…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/15 03:29 PM
2

This seems to be the general consensus! I was thinking I had to know beforehand that I "liked" him to go. Will fill you guys in on the results. :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 10:00 PM
2

I am a notorious overthinker, thank you. :) I will stop spinning my wheels and look forward to a nice chance to go out for a meal.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 03:44 PM
1

Thank you, I think that is a good perspective to have. I was feeling like since I am not already interested it would be weird to go, but I don't know him that well and in a different context who knows what he's like.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 03:42 PM
3

He seems very nice. He's a good conversationalist, a little serious / hard to read, has a little dog he brings with him to work, divorced with a child, he's much older - maybe mid-to-late 40s, he brought me some homemade food the other day that was quite good, reasonably decent shape.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 03:40 PM
2

I think you read right into the heart of the question that I wasn't even fully aware of. :) You're right, it feels like the question is should I go out with him or not? Then, secondarily, if not, how do I go about it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 01:39 AM
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