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ARocHT11 Archive

View 1 post and 20 comments by ARocHT11 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

ARocHT11/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 04:33 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

Parallel Parenting bro. She has shown you that she can’t co-parent. Control what you can. Absolute minimal contact with her unless you absolutely need to communicate about your child. Outside of that, no other engagement. If she is breaking legal agreements contact a lawyer and see what they say. There is no point in you arguing or talking to her about it. Who cares what she says. Let that shit go. She doesn’t matter. If a crazy person on the street yelled some shit out about you, you’d probably…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 05:07 PM
6

I'll play. 6-day notice on a 9-year relationship. Up and left our family like we meant nothing to her. Turns out she had been cheating for a while. She left on a Friday, and I started the divorce proceedings on Monday. This is where the success story begins. She was so wrapped up in the affair she took 1/5 of what she could have because she couldn't wait to start her new life. I kept the house and the majority of the savings, and my 401K went untouched. I lost 40 lbs from working out hard 5-6 da…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 06:28 PM
4

This 100%. This should be all the “justice” you need. Just winning full custody is the biggest win of all. You have no idea how she really feels and frankly who cares.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:00 PM
4

Agreed. My argument when all this went down on my side was “I’m ok splitting up but we can’t do this like this. This is too impactful to the kids.” But again you can’t rationalize with someone being irrational.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:22 PM
7

To your point, it is boredom with their lives. In my opinion, it's hard for some people to accept that this is their life. They think if I am no longer married, then I can change things up and have more fun, which, to some extent, is correct. Until, just like you pointed out, they find themselves in the same situation down the road. I had something similar happen to me about 18 months ago. My ex "needed" to leave and live on her own. She couldn't give me a reason why, just it was something she n…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:07 PM
6

It’s perception by others. If you say “we grew apart, I tried my best, but it just isn’t working” then that is an acceptable societal answer. If you say, “I got bored and I want to hook up with other dude’s because my husband isn’t exciting anymore,” that reaction is much different. That’s why along with others, we are saying that you shouldn’t pay too much attention to these reasons. If they aren’t logical reasons I would bet there is a good possibility they aren’t the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 03:59 PM
14

Who knows the real reasons, man? More likely than not, she was probably bored. Everything you are saying is completely true. You had plenty in common. Enough in common to get married, swear an oath to each other forever, and have children. Now, it's been X amount of years, and she is bored and wants to do something else. But she can't just come out and say that because then she would be the bad guy. She can't come out and say, "I don't want this anymore because this is boring, and I want to hang…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:40 PM
2

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I would just caution you with being someone's Plan B. It shows a lack of respect for yourself and she won't respect you in the end. I would say that even with this mindset, you would probably forgive her "crossing the line too much" in the end if she just came back. Not trying to bully you, but you should know your worth. Do you have dates also setup? If not, why not? She does. She's not waiting around.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 06:10 PM
1

Ahhh ok I missed it and thought she just offered that up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 05:09 PM
4

The only thing that matters is your child and what that looks like moving forward. Outside of that, the only focus should be on yourself and what you want your life to be moving forward. And how to get out of this scenario as financially healthy as possible. All that other stuff doesn't matter. I know it's hard to not think about. We all go through this. But the more you focus on you and your child, the quicker you will get past this. Good luck brother you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 03:34 PM
3

Why is she telling you she has a date? Why is that anything that is coming up in a conversation? And I don't know the background, but what is there to reconcile? So she is going to go out, have sex with other men, then decide, ok well that was fun, but I need more stability, and you are going to be there with open arms? Know your value bro. You existed as a person well before you ever met her. You dated women way before you ever met her. Focus on you and what you want for your life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 03:32 PM
2

Of all the changes I made, this was the most impactful. I don’t know why I ever stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 11:23 AM
2

“Wives are the oldest teenagers in your house” is spot on. I would tell her that sometimes it felt like I had another kid and that she was the worst one. 6 months after we split she sent me a text telling me how she was thriving. How she was happier than she had ever been and how I couldn’t hold her back anymore. 6 months later she was applying for government benefits bc she hadn’t had a job for months and she’s put on another 20-30lbs. So maybe it wasn’t all my fault? They reap what they sow. T…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:54 AM
7

I wrote this comment on another post but hopefully it will help you. I’m a year and a half out now. She suddenly moved out and only gave 6 days notice. She was cheating. I had the same thoughts. Wanted my life back. Coming to the realization that I’ll live alone half the time, possibly forever, scared the hell out of me. Missed my kids. Missed being a family. I focused all my energy on myself and the kids. Started going to the gym and lost 35lbs. Kept most of it off and continue to lift 5 days a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:49 AM
1

She was a train wreck in the marriage and continues to be a train wreck out of it. Multiple bills in collections. Got sued by a collection company for Amazon bc she never paid her credit card. Totaled her car 5 months ago. It is countless bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 11:25 PM
19

I’m a year and a half out now. She suddenly moved out and only gave 6 days notice. She was cheating. I had the same thoughts. Wanted my life back. Coming to the realization that I’ll live alone half the time possibly forever, scared the hell out of me. Missed my kids. Missed being a family. I focused all my energy on myself and the kids. Started going to the gym and lost 35lbs. Kept most of it off and continue to lift 5 days a week. Became incredibly active with my kids. Went out and focused on …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 11:20 PM
13

Talk to an attorney. Don't agree to anything. You said it yourself. You are not in the right mental state to negotiate this. Not saying you don't go to mediation, but you should consult with an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 03:20 PM
1

My plan is to consult with my attorney and see what they say. You could be right and its about to get bad, but I hope not. On a side note, about a year ago my ex texted me how she was thriving and how great her life was. How I was holding her back and how much happier she was. 6 months later she's applying for gov't assistance and can't find a job and complaining to me now that she is broke. So maybe it wasn't all my fault?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 01:27 PM
1

I think that’s a good idea. Maybe there is something I can do from a grocery/activities perspective to not set money directly. Unfortunately I also think it’s time to lawyer up again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 12:01 PM
2

The thing is she is still going out. Out to dinners, out to concerts, trips, etc. All while claiming poverty and requesting government benefits. I gave her a mid 5 figure settlement. She should easily have the majority of that money, but I have no doubt that she squandered most of it. If it was all going to our child, I wouldn’t care, but I know her well enough to know that’s not what is happening. 7 jobs in 10 years will be come 8-9 jobs in 11 years. Now, I’m just venting. Appreciate the info.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 06:49 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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