~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 6 | Is there a risk in being too conversational when trying to build initial sexual rapport?Ultimately your goal is to speak often enough that the girl finds you an engaging partner, but speaking too much is a turnoff for a few reasons. First it dominates the conversation, which girls hate. It also increases the likelihood of you talking about something she’s not interested in or flat out disagrees with, which is a separate but related issue. Third, as any cop knows, the more someone speaks, the longer someone speaks, the more likely it is for that person to misspeak, and say something… | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 03:48 PM |
| 3 | can get make outs but struggle to pull back to mine.Well ultimately you want her to come back to your place, but for many girls that too large of a transition. So focus on a smaller transition first. In my experience, in any place where there are bars, there are also food places open late whose business model is serving the drunk, hungry people who leave those bars. So when it’s closing time, and your still dancing with her, just say something like “hey, want to get a bite of [whatever food is nearby], I’m starving”. This is a very minor commitme… | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 03:33 PM |
| 2 | Girls I’m talking brought up her ex againKinda both, the first time I was listing to her about stuff she didn’t like and like but she’ll just bring him out of the blue and even compared us on FaceTime. I just feel like allowing her to constantly bring it up I’ll turn into her therapist and that’s how she’ll only see me | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 06:07 AM |
| 8 | can get make outs but struggle to pull back to mine.Many times if a girl is with friends, if you want success that night, not only do you have to romance the girl, but you’ll have to charm her friends too. I would say most women will not be super supportive of a random dude taking their friend away for the rest of the night, both for safety and logistical reasons. A “wing girl” is not a term for a reason. Similarly, a woman with friends knows this, and will not let herself come back with you if she feels she’ll be judged by them for it. She’ll al… | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 05:54 AM |
| 2 | Began dating good looking girl, struggling with jealousy.Agree with other commenter, this seems worse. Ignorance on her part could be forgiven by poor or no communication on yours, but continuing to do so after you’ve made your feelings clear is less excusable. | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 05:28 AM |
| 1 | Girls I’m talking brought up her ex againContext matters. Was what she had to say about him positive or negative? She could have brought up negative things he did to warn you she doesn’t enjoy them. Or positive things he did as hints for what she likes. Of course, if she’s focusing on him as a whole, then yes red flag, though not an insurmountable one. But without specifics, no one can give you accurate advice. | /r/seduction | 10/10/22 05:25 AM |
| 8 | Do women ever make the first move?It depends on what you mean by move. If you mean, will they approach you with a pickup line and then ask for your number? Almost none. Will they do things like stop you and ask where your from, butt in on a conversation your having, strike up a conversation with you at a bar, etc? More, but still few. Will they show indicators of interest (eye contact, moving near your space, hair flick) that are meant to invite you to approach? Again, more, but not enough. Ultimately, most women are not driven … | /r/seduction | 09/10/22 10:19 PM |
| 4 | I’m moving to a new town. I don’t know anybody.The best way to build a friend group, both male and female, is to have hobbies that involve other people. Specifically, things like co-Ed kickball leagues exist in pretty much every city for basically this purpose, to allow young single people to meet, play a game which to 80% of the participants does not matter, and then have an excuse to go out drinking afterwards. You can also join more male oriented hobbies if that’s what you’d prefer, as they can also be a group to go out on the town with. … | /r/seduction | 09/10/22 09:48 PM |
| 33 | Began dating good looking girl, struggling with jealousy.Let me ask you this: Are you happier now then you were previously? It’s not meant to be a leading question, but it is a serious one. What I mean by it is, having a beautiful girlfriend can do wonders for your self confidence and happiness. But feeling like that beautiful girlfriend is never fully committing to you, and always leaving options open, does not. So it’s your job as a man to honestly answer that question for yourself, and follow what makes you the most happy. And if it’s not making yo… | /r/seduction | 09/10/22 09:41 PM |
| 5 | How can I stop focusing on finding a girlfriend?Then you are way, way too young to be this defeatist. You’ve just left the starting line too. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 08:53 PM |
| 2 | How can I stop focusing on finding a girlfriend?Listen man, obviously I don’t know you at all, and if your experience has truly been so horrible that it’s made you choose to never try again, that’s your call which I’ll respect. But don’t tell others to give up before they’ve even really tried. OPs made his preference clear, and at 24 he’s barely left the starting line. He hasn’t given up yet, and doesn’t want to. Respect that decision too. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 08:39 PM |
| 2 | How can I stop focusing on finding a girlfriend?And are you happy? Because it doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like you’ve given up, and convinced yourself happy partnerships aren’t possible just because you can’t achieve it; and you want others to do the same. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 08:29 PM |
| 7 | How can I stop focusing on finding a girlfriend?Jesus give it a rest dude, we get that your an angry, bitter person, don’t drag other people down with you. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 08:23 PM |
| 48 | How can I stop focusing on finding a girlfriend?The easiest way to love yourself is, you must become, or at least feel you are on the way to becoming, the man you hope to be. What I mean by that is, are there personality traits you like or dislike about yourself, and are you taking steps to further improve or correct them (for example, practicing small talk while waiting for something if your shy)? Do you have a profession your interested in, and would like to do in the future? Are you taking steps to accomplish that (applying for jobs, takin… | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 08:10 PM |
| 4 | 19 M college studentFirst, there’s nothing wrong with you. Second, your right to avoid social media. It will only show you others idealized selves, focus on building your own ideal self. Third, while your hobbies are varied, I noticed none, with the possible exception of rowing, seem to be ones where you’d expect to see lots of women. Broadening your hobbies to include things like co-ed sports, yoga, dancing, etc. will give you a chance to interact with women in a friendly environment, and as well as improving your… | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 06:14 PM |
| 1 | Do you think this guy could be interested in me?Ehh, athletes can need spotters too depending on the exercise, that’s why I included both options. As for that being disingenuous, I can understand that view, but then following that logic your move should be to walk up to him, introduce yourself, and say your interested in him, as anything less would also be disingenuous. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 05:26 PM |
| 1 | Do you think this guy could be interested in me?Please ignore this guy, one look at his comment history, not to mention his username, will show you he’s a bitter, hopeless person. As for how to approach him, honestly the easiest thing to do is to ask him for some help, either spotting you for a set, or asking for comments about your form. It’s gym etiquette to help with those things, so don’t take that necessarily as an indicator of interest, but it will open the door for you to talk yo him and find out while your doing that. | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 05:09 PM |
| -2 | I am genuinely interested in a girl for the first time and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doingPlease do not listen to, or be discouraged by, this guy. In an earlier post he said you shouldn’t ask for consent before sex, which should give you a general idea of how much seriousness you should give his advice. The books he recommends aren’t bad, but I also recommend you read up on Mystery’s public breakdown during/after his divorce to see the limits of that calculating mentality in a relationship. Here’s a quote from him (from 2015) “ I've been stuck inside without friends or a girlfriend o… | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 02:51 PM |
| 8 | I am genuinely interested in a girl for the first time and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doingIt will be hard to continue in depth conversations with her without being able to reach her directly and singularly. So next time you do get that rare occasion, say something like this “hey I’m going to [do something related to your shared interest], wanna come along”? Then she’ll either say yes or no, and that will be your first clue about whether she’s being polite or if she’s potentially interested in you the same way. If she says yes, then that’s when you say something like, “cool, well it’s… | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 04:01 AM |
| 2 | In a rut after college graduationA good way to partially replace the socialization of college is to join co-ed activities like kickball leagues. They are typically filled with young single people like yourself, the girls are typically active but approachable, and they typically have lots of extra activities after games or at other times which can make meeting people easier. They also can be a source of new male friends who can be part of your “going out” group to bars and such, which helps accomplish the same thing. Finally, un… | /r/seduction | 07/10/22 01:18 AM |
| 1 | I've become insanely good at hinting at girls I like them, but I'm incapable of walking the next step. Help?Yes of course that’s true, but that can require a much higher level of skill and confidence depending on the type of escalation your doing. So if he’s not confident in that, then starting by making the experience fun, and then if she comes back with him, and that’s literally the likeliest possible scenario where she’d agree to an escalation, then he should do so. | /r/seduction | 06/10/22 10:43 PM |
| 1 | How to keep her interestedThe answer is scheduled time. Let’s say you have a date on Saturday. It goes well, and you reach out to her on Sunday, letting her know about something fun on this coming Friday you’d like to take her to. If she says yea then, you really only need to text/talk to her on like Tuesday and Thursday, the Thursday text being excited for tomorrow. But, and I can’t stress this enough, do not like look down or away when you pass each other, it makes you look more like a whipped dog than a man. Look her … | /r/seduction | 06/10/22 10:25 PM |
| 1 | What is the best way to ask for a strangers number?Feeling creepy can (or at least, should) happen when you feel you are doing something not appropriate for the situation. So my advice to you would be, if possible, to go to a place where you know it would be appropriate for the situation, in your case, a lesbian bar. This removes the largest questions for you: “will this person share my sexual orientation” (Yes), and “is this appropriate for this location” (it’s a bar, people don’t come for the drinks). That just leaves “is this person intereste… | /r/seduction | 06/10/22 09:44 PM |
| 5 | I've become insanely good at hinting at girls I like them, but I'm incapable of walking the next step. Help?Ultimately, things come down to a series of moves. You invite her to come do something, just the two of you. That’s a move. You invite her to get some food after, that’s a move. You invite her to go have a drink, or walk in the park, etc. that’s a move. And after you’ve done a couple moves, and it’s getting late, you ask the all important question, “Hey, do you want to come back to my place?” If she says no to any of those things, don’t be pushy, just thank her for a nice time (if that’s true) a… | /r/seduction | 06/10/22 09:11 PM |
| 1 | How to properly approach a girl at the venue?Have you ever danced before? | /r/seduction | 03/10/22 04:53 AM |
| 1 | How to properly approach a girl at the venue?Next time, try this. Hold your right hand out to her, palm up, towards her left hand. If she takes it, then lift her hand up, changing positions as you so that you are palm to palm, arm halfway extended and shoulder height, slightly outside your shoulder width. Then move you hand left, spinning her slowly halfway around, then bring both your hand and hers down from over her head. Stop the spin with your left hand on her left hip. She’ll now have her back against your chest. Pull her ever so slig… | /r/seduction | 03/10/22 02:16 AM |
| 1 | How do I shoot my shot?(21M)Cool then just next time you see her, walk up to her and ask then. You clearly already know a bit about each other, she’s engaged you and expressed interest in you/your work and invited you to reach back out in the future, honestly about as favorable a setup as can be. | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 05:48 PM |
| 6 | How do I shoot my shot?(21M)A couple things about this guys comments. First, he’s correct that a policy of gradual escalation is the way to go. But he’s wildly off that you shouldn’t ask for consent. You just do so when she’s already taken off her clothes and your fooling around, and not at dinner a few hours before. And as for where and what, the fact that you both like art opens things up considerably. Art museum, art fairs, scenic spots where you both can work, etc. But definitely don’t just choose a place or event you’… | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 05:44 PM |
| 1 | How do I shoot my shot?(21M)So there’s two ways you can do it. Option 1: Your in art class, it’s over, you leave, and as you do you ask “Hey, do you want me to walk your to your car?”. Then on the way, you say something like, “Hey listen, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for a while. I think you’re an amazing artist and that you’re absolutely gorgeous, and if you’re single and interested I’d love to take you on a date some time.” A date is not an instant commitment to monogamy, it’s an invitation to get to know eac… | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 05:12 PM |
| 1 | Is this true?Yes but remember, what being “manly” is for each women is different. Be manly in the sense you have principles you will not compromise on, and will fight for if need be, but don’t get too locked in to any specific words or actions. Instead customize yourself for each woman. Remember the motto of the marines “Improvise. Adapt. Overcome” | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Is this true?Wow there’s a lot to unpack here. Lots of half truths. First, your “frame”. This concept was popularized by a pickup artist named Mr.Mystery, but gets most of its good parts for a branch of psychology called compliance training. Essentially, it boil down to that to get a women to agree to your “request” to sleep with you, it helps to have her agree with other requests first, and also that to get anyone to agree to your requests, it helps to start small and build. Both of which are true, but if y… | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Should I (a beginner) be friendly when talking to girls?Exactly right, but being considered one clearly meant a lot to him considering he said it once, and referenced traits associated with the prevailing view on what that means a few times, in a relatively brief post. If there’s an idea important to someone, I’ve never had success convincing anyone when I’ve attacked that idea directly. I’ve only had success when trying to show that idea can be broader than what they originally thought. | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 02:22 AM |
| 2 | Should I (a beginner) be friendly when talking to girls?Lol yes. Look at it this way, at this point society gives men a pass to have zero expectations for marriage, or hell even engaged, until at least 30. Which means you have at least that amount of time to figure things out. Now I know what your thinking, “But I’m starting from such a low point, how will I ever catch up?” Thinking about your starting point is the wrong metric. The metric you should be focusing on is “What is my rate of improvement?”. I will tell you that most guys, and I include my… | /r/seduction | 02/10/22 02:14 AM |
| 6 | Should I (a beginner) be friendly when talking to girls?It’s sad to me that you think you think the epitome of alpha is this always stoic mentality. Women don’t want a guy who is always serious, they want a guy who can get serious when the situation gets serious. Seriously, trying to seduce without smiling, laughing (and making them laugh) and not being friendly is like shooting yourself in the foot and then trying to run a race. Its one of the worst things you can do. First, all of those things are strongly inversely correlated with anti-social tend… | /r/seduction | 01/10/22 03:48 PM |
| 4 | Am I doing something wrong?So one thing that seems kind of clear from this is that you only really see the girls as vehicles for sex. Which, no judgement, I was probably the same at your age. But one thing I’ll warn you about is that girls awareness of that mentality is incredibly high. Any girl attractive enough for you to be interested in has gotten that from 1000 different dudes at this point, and it feels slimy to them. It’s like if an old friend reached out to you for the first time in a while, asking how you were, b… | /r/seduction | 01/10/22 02:59 PM |
| 1 | What are some good resources for introverts? Fellow introverted guys of seddit, what resources/strategies have helped you?I will tell you that the hardest part is the beginning, because that is where the knowledge/experience gap between you and the people you will be pursuing is the widest. But introverts do have an advantage, namely while extroverts can do it “naturally”, that means they do it subconsciously and imperfectly, whereas you can be more deliberate, once you understand the basic principles. First, is you life in order? Do you have a job and place to live? Do you eat well and exercise? Do you have friend… | /r/seduction | 24/04/22 09:36 PM |
| 6 | i used to think i'm a loner by choice,but i feel like it's something i keep telling myself to feel better...First, understand it’s ok to feel confused. It’s a strange time to be a man. Before, being a man was easier, because you knew what to do. You did what society expected of you: you fought when pushed, didn’t talk about your feelings, etc. But now, the previous ideal “strong silent type” has been discredited (and rightly so), but now many think we’ve gone to far in the other direction. Your post made me think, this is someone who does not know how to be a man to a woman, and does not know where to… | /r/seduction | 24/04/22 05:46 PM |
| 12 | [Queston] Why when i approach girls most of the time, they say "can i help you with something" ?Since I hate unanswered questions for people who are actively trying to improve, he’s saying that when you approach a woman in a place where she can’t leave or avoid you, it can make them feel trapped. And it gets you a business response, as you’ve noticed, because they are silently praying you just need a shirt and not to talk to them for minutes while they have shit to do. If you insist on doing it, then please just go up and say “Hey, I think you are really cute, here’s my number/insta/tiktok… | /r/seduction | 20/04/22 06:57 PM |
| 37 | REMINDER: It is natural to want and to have sex.Approach in a place where a woman might possibly want to be approached, like a bar or somewhere else where the goal is fun and she can leave your area if you’re creepy, and not at a place where she has to be, like her work or a getting groceries. Start a conversation with something either lighthearted (both at bar waiting “I bet I’ll get a drink faster than you”) or complimentary about a decision she made (“I like those heels by the way”) and not about her body. Observe her reaction! This is the… | /r/seduction | 10/08/20 08:27 PM |
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