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Abject-Soup-2753 Archive

View 3 posts and 56 comments by Abject-Soup-2753 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

This doesn’t make you a failure. We all make mistakes and have shortcomings but it’s not 100% on you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 10:46 PM
5

My friend, you do not deserve the punishment of being married to this woman for the rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:07 PM
1

Brother, and I say this as someone with some years of sobriety behind me, you would be wise to cut her loose and focus on healing yourself. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 10:09 PM
2

You could try being honest in therapy. You know, tell the therapist you feel you are done.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 08:46 PM
0

Try the counseling but don’t pull the filing yet. See what happens IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 06:26 PM
3

Super helpful comment, Camel Toe. 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 06:07 PM
3

Call the police on her to document the drug theft and abuse? Does divorce go faster if it’s an at-fault divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 10:31 PM
16

Thanks for the lecture, Mom. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 03:10 PM
0

Oh man. How do I summarize 15 years of emotional baggage? 🤣 Basically, I have been aloof and avoidant for a lot of the marriage, especially in the beginning. In recent years I have improved myself in that area, and also undergone a religious conversion. I have continued to grow towards and within my religion while she is somewhat repulsed by it. Because of this, we haven’t been getting along. We did marriage counseling for almost a year. During that time, because of her resentment and contempt t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 07:11 PM
0

Yes, I do need distance so I can get a grip. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:53 PM
3

Well said. That has been my take so far, that staying is not the healthiest thing to do for the kids. I do not want to set the example of someone who has poor boundaries and sacrifices their own health for relationships. That probably won’t make sense to them until they have kids of their own.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:52 PM
2

We aren’t doing a separation contract. We are planning on filing for divorce from bed and board which is a legal judgement that has to be signed off by a judge and is recognized by law in our state. It does everything that a regular divorce would except for ending the legal marriage. Thanks for the suggestion on remaining in the home, it’s helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 04:16 PM
1

That’s helpful, thanks. Yeah, the kids are old enough to know what is going on and we have talked about it. I am 90% certain I ultimately want to divorce, but would feel better about it if I stayed open to reconciliation for at least a few months. Maybe that isn’t realistic. I’m not sure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:05 PM
2

Thanks, I understand this. Working on getting something signed right now. What I have presented on paper so far is basically 50/50 everything with me paying alimony and CS. I honestly feel so desperate to leave right now that I am willing to trade just about anything for my freedom. That would probably be a rash decision and may be a sign that I am not thinking clearly.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 02:40 PM
2

I feel you on this one, especially paragraph 4. It’s maddening to try and escape from a person like that. Godspeed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 01:54 PM
4

Feel it. Embrace the grief. It will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 10:29 PM
4

Relatable. I thought I had developed ED. As it turns out, all the baggage of the relationship had turned me off completely. I still desired sex, I just didn’t feel enough of a connection or attraction to be turned on. It was because of issues similar to your situation. Belittling, disrespect, gaslighting, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 10:49 AM
1

Stand up for yourself bro. Get a lawyer, prove the cheating and take her to court for at-fault divorce. She’s already abandoned the marriage multiple times. Stop putting up with being treated like you don’t matter. You do.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 03:05 PM
2

Relatable. It’s a tough lesson to learn, especially when mommy didn’t love us when we were 5. 🤣 You will grieve, but you’re right that you’ll be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 02:26 PM
5

I would absolutely do it over again. In my case, the pleasure and pain has been worth the great memories of raising a child together, fatherhood, and the growth produced by the hardships. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Figure out her dark parts before you commit so you can choose wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 02:07 PM
10

Cut that one loose and move on. Sounds like she is trying to manipulate you into isolation. Run and don’t look back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 01:53 PM
3

Sounds like a lot of push-pull or hot&cold going on. Sometimes a lot of that is controlling behavior rather than loving behavior. I just want you to know that you don’t need her reassurance to be ok. You are ok, you are enough and you matter. Figure out what you want and need, set that boundary and STICK TO IT! Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 01:46 PM
1

Maybe seek a consultation from another lawyer? Helpful to have a second legal opinion here. I would want to fight to protect my kids too. What’s more important, saving time and money, or saving souls?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 05:56 PM
6

You’re being too hard on yourself. At least now you have the willingness to move forward with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 05:40 PM
1

Sounds like classic codependent toxicity. You may be able to save the marriage through couples counseling. It won’t be easy, but might be worth it. I would try that first.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 06:31 PM
2

He’s probably very wary of getting into another version of his past relationship. He’ll go slow to make sure he sees all potential red flags before being willing to invest much. Best thing you can do for him and for yourself is just be honest and let him know what’s on your mind. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. Don’t be afraid to have this conversation with him when the time is right.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 06:20 PM
1

Sounds like bigamy to me, but i’m not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 05:39 PM
1

If you live in a state where it is legal to record conversations that you participate in then I would suggest that. Just put the device in your breast pocket or hoodie pouch or someplace where it is more likely to pick up sound. Gather any documentable evidence you can to protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:40 PM
2

Stay strong, maintain your boundaries and do it calmly and respectfully even in the face of disrespect. Remain polite but firm. Remove yourself from the situation if you need to. Do not engage in the toxic cycle anymore. You are almost there, you got this!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 03:48 PM
2

She has come to church with me. We have gone to church events as a family. She is the same person she has always been. It’s me who has changed, and the person I have become is very triggering for her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:17 PM
2

State your opinion, fine. But why insult a stranger on reddit who is having a hard time with something? Have you no other outlet?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:22 AM
1

It’s hard to grieve the loss of your family. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Terrible that she went out and did this while you stayed home and took care of your child. It shows no regard for you or the child. Make sure you have copies of the videos before you file. If I were in your shoes, things would have to change immediately for there to even be a chance at reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 05:13 PM
1

I have come to the same conclusion. Thanks for the reassuring comment.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 08:21 PM
-1

It’s hard to imagine salvaging things. I think it’s only possible if she changes, and I don’t see that happening. I have already gone through a metamorphosis of my own and there is no going back. It’s hard to put a religious conversion experience into words. It’s supernatural. Impossible to deny. Saying it might be salvageable if she changes is not saying I am right and she is wrong, just that I can’t go back to the person I was before. While I can both accept her values and disagree with them, …
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 08:17 PM
4

Yes, I have. It helps to know that I am doing right by my faith, but it’s still a difficult trial. Thanks for the comment.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 05:28 PM
5

You’re right. I did change and I don’t blame her for disagreeing with me. In my heart I do want her to change, but I would accept not belittling me or running smear campaigns against me because she has resentment towards my faith. It’s not a deal breaker for me. It is a deal breaker for her. I can agree to disagree.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 05:06 PM
3

Thank you for that. Relatable. The disrespect “bomb” has long been exploded and I am over that aspect of her personality. She doesn’t understand why I am somewhat at peace with her wanting to separate, but the temper that flares during disagreements is a large part of it. Nobody is without flaws of course, but I’m done being an emotional punching bag. Nonetheless, It’s still hard to face the breaking up of our family.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 04:27 PM
2

Good luck with your case. Sounds like it won’t be fun, but freedom is on the horizon.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 11:07 AM
1

True. We all have our blind spots.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 10:52 AM
5

Sounds like all you need is some bros, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 06:23 PM
6

“Multiple boyfriends” sounds like a lonely and empty life to me. Far from a best life. How’s your social life?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 06:11 PM
2

🤣 yeah man. In these times they aren’t really sure what’s wrong, they just know something is and that we aren’t leading them out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 04:59 PM
3

True, and it’s subconscious. Save the venting for the bros and keep the boundaries at home.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:29 PM
5

Sounds like that would be a moving goalpost. If you did scream and yell, no doubt you’d be chastised for that. Sometimes complaints like these are just self-delusion for the purpose of justifying bad behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:27 PM
8

Try not to let others compromise your peace. Easier said than done.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:25 PM
8

Sorry bro. My perspective is if they don’t love the whole package (kids too) then they don’t love you. It hurts, but it’s the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:21 PM
2

After reading the first two lines of your post, the answer to the topical question is YES. I would even say it’s abusive. Very Relatable situation. Time to take your power back, brother. Become the man you need to be for YOU and for your kids. That doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. Things may change once you change. You matter, your happiness matters and you are worth fighting for. Check this dude out. He speaks truth. Godspeed, solider. https://youtube.com/@edbaxter?si=d4tg4FSz7pCVMDKf
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:16 PM
1

The “I hope you’re happy” comment is just a dig to get a reaction out of you. Just so she can see if she still has any control over your feelings. Using a rational argument against it is a waste of time and energy because as soon as you respond to the bait defensively, she’s won.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 04:13 PM
2

Sounds like she might be depressed? Try marriage counseling. Seems like it’s probably worth saving at this point, especially with 6 kids and a successful business.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 04:09 PM
2

As a recovered alcoholic myself, I suggest you document everything which it sounds like you are doing. From experience, she is mentally ill and cannot control what she is doing, nor is she able to reason her way out of it. The sneaky behavior and lying is very common and is likely to continue until she is serious about recovery. You probably have cause for an at fault divorce, especially if you can prove it with receipts. Check with your attorney about custody if you are in a deployable duty sta…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 03:28 PM
1

If you really want to consider it, then proceed with extreme caution. Go to counseling first. By yourself might be good to start, followed by together if it progresses to that point. More often than not, people don’t change much but it does happen. If I had to guess, I might suspect that she has been somewhat humbled by everything that has happened and has matured some. I would also be suspicious that she may not have matured at all and is simply looking for a breadwinner and sees you as the mos…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 10:58 AM
1

Makes sense. Thanks for your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 09:46 PM
2

Yeah I don’t mind being a provider, just not to someone who is simply using me as a provider while I am also living in the home with zero personal freedom, if that makes sense. The split is due to my religious conversion which happened a few years ago. She initially agreed to it (required by the church) and now despises me for it and despises my church and my faith. Aside from her hot-temper, she now makes fun of me and my religious beliefs behind my back to her friends. I was hurt the first tim…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 08:32 PM
1

Right, I don’t see it going well either which is why I don’t intend to agree to that. Thanks for the comment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 06:43 PM
1

Right 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 06:42 PM
1

That’s worst case scenario in my case. It does happen to lots of men. She isn’t cheating, at least not yet. I have proved that to myself. 2 is true. 😂 3 may or may not be true. She definitely wants me to maintain lifestyle. I am leaning that way though, rather than bed and board. My top concern as far as going through with it is my child. A more gradual divorce may be easier for them to cope with. Not sure on that point.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 05:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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