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AdditionalArt8638 Archive

View 9 posts and 25 comments by AdditionalArt8638 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Couples therapy or having a personal therapist? I think having a (good) personal therapist has helped me immensely in understanding certain thought patterns and beliefs about myself that I just thought were normal. She's helped me move on in a much healthier way than I could have imagined.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:14 AM
26

Well for me, having sex post divorced showed me all I was missing for 15 years. I was convinced I was asexual or at least apathetic to sex.... And then I found the first person I was physically compatible with. It was actually crazy the shit we were into that I never thought would be a fetish, but all of it just came naturally.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 03:24 AM
11

Close your eyes and imagine your life 5 years from now. Do you want to be on Reddit talking about how you promised you wouldn't give her a 6th chance? Or do you want to have moved on and either found love for yourself or in someone else that you deserve? Divorce is scary and it feels like a door we as men do everything in our power to not walk through... Until we do and realize that while it is a big deal, a lot of us would have been so SO much better off walking through it years before.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:32 AM
3

Just skimming your post history there does seem to be a portion of you that doesn't value yourself. I'm working on that myself. I know it's hard but you need to take inventory on where the disconnect is coming from and find the right person to help you guide through that. You're worthy of love and you're worthy of life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:00 AM
3

Have you sought professional help via a therapist or a psychologist? You may really benefit from talk-therapy and some antidepressants. There's nothing wrong with needing new tools to deal with new-or even 4 year old-problems.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:37 AM
5

You're good. The questionnaire is more helpful to give context so the mediator knows what to look out for. For example ours asked about DV (there wasn't any in our case) but if there had been, she wouldn't have asked us into the office together. For financial abuse, this can have the mediator know that one party might be more aggressive or manipulative about finances and they can "see that" in the conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:20 AM
1

This is exactly what I told her. That we need to have a one night a year sleep over. I do think the kids will like that actually. Thanks for the response.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 09:59 PM
3

Maybe this is location dependent? I was told that even though I'm still working through my assumption, since she has moved out and established residency elsewhere she cannot enter without my consent.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:28 AM
22

How quiet my house is that first night my kids go to their mom's.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:39 AM
2

I was surprised to find out my conventional 30 year was assumable. I didn't need to refinance and got to keep my 3.25% rate. 1500$ in closing costs and a quit-claim was all it took to get her off. Of course you do need to buy her out, so either you have that capital, extra retirement (which she'd accept) or have the ability to borrow that amount. I've heard of people doing HELOCs for this, personal loans, again extra retirement funds, etc. In my case my parents loaned me the money.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 10:38 PM
7

Does she retain 50% decision making power regarding the kids and those decisions? I know each state is different but my state carves that out specifically (AZ). For the record, I'm the opposite here. I started going to church again with my 3 kids after we got divorced. I understand your position here, but for us it's been an incredible change. My kids love the community aspect, making new friends and they're learning a lot more about love and forgiveness. Sure, not everyone's cup of tea and you …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 10:28 PM
3

Protect yourself. Get a lawyer now. Yourself 1, 5, 10 years from now wish you did.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 11:54 PM
2

I make over 200k and my wife makes 75k. I owe less than 800$ a month in CS and no alimony. Granted I am in a different state than you. Do you at least have a mediator that will sit at the table with both of you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:25 PM
9

This is incredibly common. Likely she got over her marriage before it was even filed. Yes it hurts to think about your wife getting together with someone else, but soon that will be you as well. You got this, take the time you need. Become the man you want to become now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 07:56 PM
1

No the state will not force you to do anything (except child support which you've stated is not your case). You can agree to a division of assets however you want, but the key is that you need to agree. Your spouse is entitled (by default) to 50% of community property. If they agree to a lesser amount, thats on them. That said I am not a lawyer, this is just based off my recent experience.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 04:53 AM
2

Just went through an uncontested divorce in AZ. AZ is a community property state, so what you accumulated during your marriage, the default is shared, what you accumulated prior to your marriage is separate. There are exceptions (such as inheritance), and of course you could negotiate. So that entirely depends on when that savings was built. Again we were uncontested and went through a mediator. Even though we had personal bank accounts that was still drawn up in our total joint property because…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 03:32 AM
1

Honestly, it's fine. You're right, it was the path I took. There are many reasons why it got to that point, but still no one deserves that. I could have left when we stopped having sex 5+ years ago, or when she became emotionally abusive but I didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 12:50 PM
1

Yes, 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:15 AM
5

I make 200-250k a year and pay 718 a month (2 minor). This is driven by the state and largely her salary as well. 0 spousal support. My wife was very generous all things considered.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 09:52 PM
1

This seems like the way!
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 08:58 PM
1

I very much doubt it, but call your lender. If you change the terms, that's likely a refinance with a new rate.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 06:12 PM
3

Great call outs, I'm assuming that most people seeking this advice out already have points 2 and 3 figured out, but absolutely correct.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 12:59 PM
3

That's what the quitclaim will be for, but you're right it's a multi step process.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 12:55 PM
2

Listen or read No More Mr Nice Guy. You'll find more success if you tackle this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 05:19 PM
4

So much wisdom I wish I had, 2 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 09:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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