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AdmiralRando Archive

View 5 posts and 283 comments by AdmiralRando on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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35

No need for women to be prisoners of war to get raped in the military. It’s “friendly fire” that they need to worry about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 10:50 PM
42

This is so true. I leap-frogged liberal feminism by going from super conservative to rad-fem. I still have the same question “why is being more like men a good thing?!” Don’t fuck like a man. Don’t work like a man. Don’t have conversation like a man. Don’t vote like a man. Just don’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 10:48 PM
58

This is so true. Men are so divorced from there emotions that they call every decision “logical”. They will tell you that it was a logical decision to punch a hole in that wall. Or to flip off that other driver. “Well, someone had to push back!” In their minds, women have emotions and men have logic. There is no pushing back against those religious beliefs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 10:44 PM
22

Thanks for letting it out! There are so many things that we are just not allowed to be angry about (for reasons, as you put it). I was reading the book Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly and I was absolutely enamored with how she catalogues all sorts of outrageous shit that women put up with while also swallowing their outrage. She wasn’t “being nice”, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. I highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 11:53 AM
97

Right? I left an abusive relationship. I went to a battered women’s shelter. He was holding me hostage, randomly shooting his gun into the yard at night, putting tracking devices on my car. Before I went NC he said, “I’m not abusive. That’s stupid. I never hit you.” Totally true! He never actually punched me. Is that where the line should be though? “I would never hit a woman” translates to “I would do anything except actually punch you (well, unless you give me enough reason to punch you)”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 09:03 PM
199

Also, even without the slamming, any man who says “I would never hit a woman” like that is some kind of flex can just go immediately to the trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 07:33 PM
278

Oh you weren’t thankful for the crumbs of effort that he eventually threw your way after years of ComMuNicatiNg and a whole-ass divorce? How ungrateful. /s The idea that “men just don’t think of these things” is completely false. Men who act like this just can’t be bothered. I’m glad you got away from him and found someone who likes you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 12:35 PM
434

This comic needs two more frames. Frame 5: He starts telling her all the things that are “pretty” about her or launches into a monologue about whatever is on his mind. Frame 6: He is alone in the frame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 12:21 PM
16

Oh I understand completely. I just thought it would be helpful to re-emphasize that we don’t accept their system any more than we accept them grading us from 1-10 like slabs of meat. Most of us have internalized these numbering systems to one extent or another, so I wanted to say “this is bullshit!” for the record. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 10:25 PM
83

If you didn’t come, it didn’t count. The reason that there may be two different types of women with “high body count” is because your scenario counts sexual partners the way men do. But why should we accept that standard? For women, the only notches on our bedpost should be for people who have given us a satisfying and delightful sexual experience. In that way, women who have been coerced by men (and society) into having sexual encounters that are not satisfying and delightful will have a low co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 06:15 PM
13

I mean, does it matter? If a man treats you badly, what difference does it make if he has this or that diagnosis?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 11:15 PM
77

I always cheer my 14-yr-old niece on to tell me who she has broken up with lately. It’s a light way to go against the relationship-crazy drama at that age. When she dumps someone, I take her shopping. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 09:45 PM
39

Women must always be approachable. What is wrong with you? You don’t want other people making demands of you? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 03:35 PM
443

Do not send naked pics of yourself to anyone. Period. I don’t care if you’ve been married forty years. And definitely don’t send them to any man that can be “thirst trapped”. Wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 07:55 PM
200

Lol! Can you imagine a man saying to his bros, “dudes! I met this girl! She is so awesome even though she’s not attractive at all!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 12:44 AM
20

I feel bad for the young women who grew up with all of these labels. I get the reason for them, it’s the backlash to a culture that has been “heterosexual or certifiable” for a very, very long time. But there are downsides. Yours is an example. If you don’t want to have sex with the gross men who throw themselves in your way when you are minding your own business, you’re “asexual”. I’m technically demisexual because I only have sex with people who like me. These labels are statements of “who I a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 12:04 AM
78

One shouldn’t make permanent decisions for at least a year after a big loss. If your new guy is deeply grieving someone, you probably won’t be a permanent decision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 01:05 AM
5

Tits are for kids!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:34 AM
39

I think that number 1 helps fight back against the idea of “sex on the third date” being the norm. It’s an arbitrary length of time, but it’s a hell of a lot longer than any woman (who wasn’t raised to wait till marriage) has been taught. So it’s good in that sense. I completely agree with number 2. I like my own privacy, and I respect the privacy of others. And if a man isn’t treating me like a priority, I don’t need evidence that he is cheating. I can just leave. I don’t think this should be a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 03:00 PM
43

I really don’t mind it. Some people will use it for male-gaze purposes, sure. But if the people standing on their heads topless for clicks in any way are helping diffuse this “breasts are a sexual organ and should be covered in public”, then I will support it. Women breastfeeding in public still get way to much shit (from men and women). Maybe it needs a new slogan. “Make titties unsexual again!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 10:31 PM
1

I’m not really getting the vibe from these threads that men (in general) want anything to do with parenting. And like you said men adapt to parenting when the mother isn’t “there for awhile”. That’s…not good parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 10:21 PM
1

Most guys avoid kids like the plague. If you ask your friends “who here has ever been the person most directly responsible for a child”, they would ask you what you’ve been smoking. If you ask the same question in a room full of women, nearly every single hand goes up. Most of them had some kind of babysitting job/ responsibility before they even entered high school. As a general rule, it is women who raise children. So let them do it. There are several threads about paternity fraud on here toda…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 09:57 PM
1

There are a few men who want to be involved in raising children, sure. But it seems like more men are concerned about being trapped by a woman or having to pay child support. Perhaps we could make paternity an opt-in situation for the few men who want to do the duties of parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 08:44 PM
2

Wouldn’t it be so much easier for men if they didn’t have to worry about raising children at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 05:28 PM
3

Let’s just do away with paternity altogether. I mean, statistically it’s not like men are raising children anyway. As a society, we know that having babies to eventually replace the old people is a good thing. So let’s just remove the concept of child support and pay mothers a stipend with taxes to raise the next generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 03:30 PM
16

I think that there’s a big difference between beautiful women and “average” women when it comes to this. I’m certainly the latter. I look alright when I (rarely) dress up. Children don’t start crying when they see me in the street. I also don’t turn heads when I walk into a room. Cameras don’t pan and zoom in when I walk by. Not even in my youngest youth. And I’m just fine with that. I think I have a fairly objective view of who is “more attractive” or “less attractive” than I am based on societ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 12:35 AM
48

Let’s break it down a bit. “Normal guy behavior” means discussing women as fleshlights with other men? The poor dears don’t know any better? Oh these darling men, so hopelessly led by their cock…perhaps he will get post-nut clarity and start treating women with basic human dignity! Whether or not this is normal is not the question. The question is whether you want a person like this in your body and in your house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:31 PM
118

I’m also really impressed with those comments. No one told her to ComMuniCatE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:06 AM
30

Yes! If it is only the threat of hell that keeps you from doing bad things, then you are NOT a “good” person and I want nothing to do with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 12:44 AM
32

Right?! Putting “faith in a higher power” is not something women have to learn, as a general rule. “How do I put up with the real world without anesthesia” is a much better question!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 12:42 AM
349

Men who actually like you will wait. They will not whine about their “needs”, they will not try to change your mind. They will express their desire for you while still respecting your boundaries. Men who actually like you want you to want to have sex with them. They want to enjoy it with you. A man who wants to have sex with a woman without her enthusiasm could never be HV, so take your time ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 10:24 PM
138

This may be a wee bit off-topic, but all of your biblical references are reminding me of when I realized that all of the moral rules of Christianity are better suited for teaching men how to not be assholes (not that it works…). But do women really need to be told to look out for others? Some of us are narcissistic assholes, sure. But I find that most of us need to learn to look out for ourselves. If the Bible were written/compiled by women and for women, the stories would not teach you to be mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 10:11 PM
22

The trouble here lies with cultural expectations, though. The “norms” of a heterosexual relationship are bad for women. If we had different cultural expectations, then separatism wouldn’t be as attractive. For example, most women still need the relative financial security of marriage in order to raise their children. If we had a cultural norm of women sharing finances/living together in order to raise children, then mothers would be able to have the relative financial security that marriage assu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 07:18 PM
27

Yep. Men literally think that going to work is all that is necessary to maintain a relationship. I heard it from my ex. When we were about to divorce, I said “I feel like I’m in a marriage by myself” and he said “but I go to work every day”. The rational sex, ladies…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 11:36 PM
31

“Oh it’s not a man coercing you into sex, it’s God himself!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 09:36 AM
32

Because she has been taught to treat people with love and consideration. She doesn’t seem to know yet that being too considerate can get your ass killed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 08:43 PM
40

Yep. That’s why I’m here. I came for the drama!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 11:49 PM
8

Your 20’s are not the best years of your life. You will be going into your 30’s with more wisdom, more insight, and better boundaries than you ever could have dreamed of at 21. Your life will be yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:55 PM
6

This is a very important point. Black women certainly have the highest hill to climb in terms of “passing as professional” to the culture at large. I’m hard pressed to think of even a powerful rich white woman who doesn’t wear make-up or dye their hair or shave their legs. So how much worse is the expectation for folks who are fighting their way up the ranks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:45 PM
16

Just tell him you have 9 kids and ask him to Venmo you $$$. When he does, tell him it’s not enough and how one of them has cancer. No wait! Two of them have cancer and one of them has pneumonia (that’s definitely not Covid!) They each need their own PS5! How can he deny them that?! Heartless bastard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 08:57 PM
25

You seem to be stuck between good ideals and real life as we know it. That’s tough. No, women should not be coerced into painting, plucking, and glueing things onto themselves just to be “acceptable”. It’s gross. I’m with you. But your bf’s parents didn’t create the situation, they just took advantage of it. Which…is also gross. Building a beauty “empire” is no different than selling snake oil. It takes advantage of women who have been been raised to believe that they need to look a certain way …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 12:49 PM
2

I actually don’t think that we “have the tendency” (in a natural sense). I think this is something we are taught from birth. I come from an evangelical background. I remember once, in my very small Christian school, having a falling out with my best friend in 5th grade. I honestly don’t remember what she did, but it was bad enough that I was done. I was never speaking to her again. Several teachers tried to intervene with me and tell me that I had to talk it through with her. That I had to forgi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 11:35 PM
3

I hear you. It took me decades to be able to ask the question “is this a mutually beneficial relationship?” When you are used to bending over backwards for everyone else out of “kindness”, simply assessing your own happiness feels selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 10:42 PM
3

Knowing who you can ask your help seems like a skill in itself. For me, I don’t really offer help if I don’t mean it. Plenty of people do, though. “Just let me know if you need help” is a bit of a throwaway comment like “We should get coffee sometime”. So in practice, neither of the statements means that help or coffee is forthcoming. When I offer to help someone, I’ll start with this basic offer, but back it up later. I tend to follow up with a specific suggestion. “Hey, I was just thinking abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 08:08 PM
220

I wouldn’t bother confronting him. I’m only 5’3” myself and I have no interest in height for height’s sake. But if a man has to lie about himself because he doesn’t know how to rock what he’s actually got? That’s a “no”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:43 AM
18

The men who are donors probably don’t even know their family’s health history. If you think about it, these are young college-age men who hard just to make some money on the side. What are the odds that they have absorbed literally anything about their medical history?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 10:12 PM
29

Pregnancy is absolutely a unique experience that in my view is separate from loving and raising a child. I have done it 3 times (twice “on purpose”). On balance, I would say that I hated being pregnant. Child birth is an event I looked forward to because pregnancy was so awful. That’s true even though I had no complications. However, in terms of life experience, it’s one-of-a-kind. Have you ever had anyone kick you in the diaphragm from the inside? Ever had someone’s skull resting on your bladde…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 10:07 PM
194

They like watching sex more than they like having it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:23 PM
7

Well at least he didn’t sleep in a nest! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:31 PM
22

This is so hard to do while also staying informed/proactive. I want to be informed of women and men who are fighting injustice, but I can’t do that without being up-to-date on injustice. I try to avoid salacious content (with the exception of FDS ;) ). True-crime is very popular, but I try not to soak myself in the details if I can help it. It’s difficult to find content that sticks to the facts without being “centrist”. Ugh. For the moment, I scroll books, plants, deep-dive legal podcasts, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:07 PM
14

Isn’t this the one where Sandra Bullock invents a whole-ass relationship with a man who is unconscious in the hospital?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 12:19 PM
33

At least as much as he regularly spends on himself. Some men are frugal. Some men suddenly get frugal at every birthday/holiday. Avoid those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 11:49 PM
360

Once sex is thrown into the mix, we all have so much baggage to unpack. (Which is why this sub exists, frankly.) My lesbian/bi friends seem to have trouble with women, too. However I’ve never heard one say that they were sleeping with a woman who sleeps in a nest and avoids washing her ass, so there’s that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:12 PM
70

I’m not sure how well this works for others, but I treat them the same way I treat those people who are trying to sell me a cable plan at the grocery store. A bright, friendly, dismissive “no thank you!” And keep walking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 11:30 PM
559

He was seriously holding her while she cried and brought that site up. What the actual fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 11:08 AM
–

I find it interesting that by most of these lists, an HV woman will be ruined by a relationship with the list-maker. Time only goes in one direction, so a woman in a long term relationship will “age out”. And dating you will be N + 1. Gentleman, if dating you will make a woman less valuable, why in the world should she date you?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 02:09 PM
33

I was a straight white person in the nineties and I never liked this show. I really don’t get how it got so popular. Even if we ignore all the issues listed in the OP, this show is just never EVER funny. I can’t remember a single joke that lands. I do remember the theme song playing constantly on the radio for a while. I guess it was the excellent marketing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:26 PM
67

It’s “protectors” all the way down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 10:44 AM
89

Yeah, I don’t get this either. Your salary is always in gross $$$. Not net after taxes. I mean, you could ask someone specifically “What’s your take-home pay after taxes and insurance?” But if someone is just asked for a salary, they will give the number that shows up on that top line of a W-2. It’s entirely reasonable that his take-home is 20k less than his salary. How is that lying? Go ahead and ditch him if you like (you don’t need a reason), but acting like this is a giant betrayal is…financ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 01:33 AM
12

I was fortunate to avoid this. By the time he got around to “wanting” counseling it was because I was already long-past done. When you get to the point that you tell your husband “my life would be easier if you were in love with someone else”, there’s no therapist on earth that can fix it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:07 AM
35

I think that everytime they see a hard dick, it’s when they are turned on. (Because it’s their own dick.) So they assume that you will be turned on when you see a hard dick, too. Simple mind-blindness. Some men are nefarious and are aiming for a power trip, but I assume most men who send dick pics are just…idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:42 PM
191

They complain about buying things for their woman. They have no problem dropping money on what they want or spotting cash to a friend or buying something to impress the neighbors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:37 PM
155

I’m with a man now who asks to go down even when I am on my period. If it’s heavy, I’ll demure, because I’m just not into it (even if he is willing to do laundry). But if it’s light, I’m very happy to have a man who is not a squeamish-ass weakling. It is delightful to be with a man who is turned on by an actual woman. Don’t let the bar get below that, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 11:32 PM
49

I’m with you on this. If I wouldn’t lend you my library card, I wouldn’t let you inside inside my body. This is a whole separate sexuality, really?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 10:18 PM
14

I would put “did I shave my legs for this” on that list!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 10:14 PM
17

Now THAT’S the title of a love song I would listen to. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 06:34 PM
92

I’ll just add, “The best part of me is you!” Radical feminism has seriously hampered my ability to enjoy “love” songs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 02:49 PM
29

As a Gen X American, this is strange for me, too. When you have a plan, you have a plan. But I’ve noticed that the younger crowd does this a lot. If I’m meeting one of my 20-something coworkers for breakfast or something, they will invariably text me the night before or the next morning to see if the plan is still on. Maybe it’s because they were raised with cell phones. When everyone is always available, people are bit more flaky with plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 04:23 PM
61

Did she come? If she didn’t come, it didn’t count. She might not have had a ho-phase after all! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:45 PM
5

I had a therapist who helped me to very bluntly face my paranoia about my ex following me (is it paranoia if it’s happened over and over?) That was helpful. But I was also encouraged to be more positive. Which wasn’t that helpful. I had been a stay-at-home mom with no education and no access to money for a decade and a half and I was bailing out on my whole life to get away from this guy. I took my kids with me to my parents, but I had to flee there, too. I was well and truly fucked. It kind of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:29 PM
7

Eh. It’s not a failure it’s a setback. I’m glad you have parents to lean on. :) Be gentle with yourself and take time to heal and reframe your story. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 12:07 AM
19

I’ve never been prone to gaslighting (I’m too stubborn for better and for worse!) But I knew a woman who took to recorded conversations. She was trying to “fight” for her marriage and would tell her husband, “we can talk about this, but we’re going to record it”. It seems to have helped in the long term in their case (everyone being more careful with their words). It may be that theirs was a case of heated miscommunication rather than gaslighting. But I think that gaslighting is a secondary prob…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 11:20 PM
138

I get this. I have always wanted a wife. As a straight woman, I wouldn’t even complain about a dead-bedroom. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 05:20 PM
34

Buy some sperm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 11:10 PM
121

Lol. You told him to grow a social skill! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 08:41 PM
60

Tell your fiancé that you are fine with him having male strippers at his bachelor party. See what he says to that. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:51 PM
6

I just did some shopping myself. I got a new job (with a proper living wage) and needed some new clothes. I tend to the frugal side, so I forced myself to go to a little boutique that has clothes that I know I will love and wear over and over rather than getting the cheapest thing that will technically suffice. (Part of my self-care process is getting over the idea that my man needs the money, so I can’t spend too much on myself - mission accomplished!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:44 PM
131

I found this group a few years after I was no-contact with a violent asshole, but I was in group therapy before going to a Battered Women’s shelter. It was sooooo helpful to hear the stories of other women. I thought I was overreacting, going nuts, or blowing things out of proportion. But when I was listening to these stories from other women (which were a lot like mine!) I just wanted to scream “run! Stay away from him!” That really helped me to set my boundaries and properly fuck-off from that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:15 PM
16

This really boils down to self-awareness. I know women who love makeup and self-care for them could be buying a new palette at Ulta and spending the afternoon on new looks. That…would not be self-care for me (I’m kinda annoyed to put on makeup at all). I do love picking out a new conditioner with a fabulous smell and doing a deep-condition while reading or watching a show. So, in terms of self-care purchases, I’ll spend my money on things that I know will help me to have a good evening rather th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:10 PM
87

Yeah, I’m not sure what the point is to even say it. “Oh, he didn’t rape you because he was horny, he raped you because he was power hungry.” Cool, thanks? Rape is about entitlement. Full stop. He thinks he can do whatever he wants and there will be no consequences. And hell, he might not even be wrong. Can we start the revolution now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 02:23 PM
26

During the lockdown, I made a concerted effort to keep in touch with my friends. I was on unemployment for a couple of months, so I was the least-busy friend in most cases. (Most are “essential” workers, one was a new mom.) It was often difficult to schedule a phone call/FaceTime because they all had so much going on. But I didn’t give up! I chased them all down like a pickme after a chad. I’m a rather social person, too, and being able to gossip with the girls goes straight into the self-care c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:55 PM
20

No one has the legal rights to use my organs but me. How “hardcore” is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 07:55 AM
6

Stay mad, sis! Rage is the cure. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 11:10 PM
8

Good. Keep hating him. We are trained to forgive, forgive, forgive. Fuck that. He lied to you over and over and over. He didn’t need a reason. It wasn’t that you “could have done something better” or that you “weren’t good enough”. He lied because he’s a liar. He lied to you and he lied to those other women because he is a liar. Being conned in love is even worse than being conned for cash. I can always make more money, but I can’t get back the unselfish love that I showered on a stupid, fucking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:56 PM
17

I had to hit rock bottom to leave, too. I distinctly remember getting to the point of thinking, “Even if I AM the ‘complete whore’/‘bad mother’/etc that you keep saying I am, I STILL don’t deserve to be treated this way.” When I continued hearing his voice in my head long after I had gone no-contact, I would remind myself, “I would never treat anyone the way that he treated me. Ever. What he did was wrong and has no truth in it.” That helped me to reframe my perspective. It’s been several years …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:26 PM
259

Nah. I’d cancel any conservative opinion. I will fight (and vote) for women’s rights. Women who don’t want to use those rights can choose not to use them if they like. I will NOT fucking listen to another conservative voice for as long as I live. There is no argument that could possibly persuade me. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. They need to get the fuck out of the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:06 PM
134

She wouldn’t be getting these directly anyway. Some bored clerk at the state is pulling these out of envelopes and rolling her eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:59 PM
8

I think we should start our own damn military. But I’m a bit radical. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:16 PM
29

Stop being nice to him and start being nice to yourself. You are taking your beautiful empathy and throwing down a hole every time you give this man a break. Press your charges. Keep whichever lawyer was the biggest shark and just let them handle it. Stop worrying about a man who is facing the consequences of his own actions. He’s grown. He will figure it out. You’re grown, too. And you need to take care of yourself. Hang in there, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:15 PM
24

Lol. No. Get your babies out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 10:17 PM
19

The thing is that this really isn’t a problem when talking to other women. If my girl says “I think we should go out for chicken”, instead of “we should go out for chicken”, no one is confused about what she wants. No one assumes that she is making a weak suggestion. She is just flatly stating what she wants. It’s men who assume that we are wishy-washy because they don’t have a social skill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:00 PM
23

I never fought with my ex. I just accommodated. And prayed. And accommodated and prayed. And smiled. And forgave. For nearly two decades. Then I left. So it’s possible he never fought with his exes. That just means you have a spine. I’m glad you used it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:07 PM
27

Yeah. I don’t know anything about these folks, but it shouldn’t be hard. That’s a lie we are all told (especially women) in order to stick it out with assholes. Life is hard, yes. External things come at you, and they are hard to handle. Yes. But the person who loves you best in the world should never make your life harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:59 PM
135

Yeah, this feels kinda “normal” now. It’s awful. Since everyone is “connected” at all times, they feel that they can cancel at a moment’s notice. As a 90’s chick, I have adopted a new way of making group plans. I will make one iron-clad plan with a woman who is capable of keeping to a schedule, then invite others along as well. That way, even if these flaky people bail, we will still have an amazing time. I don’t do sports though…it seems like getting 12 people to show up to an event would be a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 05:15 PM
1

So what does that look like in practice? How do you make men care for the people they claim to care about? Where would you start if you were in charge?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:38 PM
2

I agree. Things are shaking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:34 PM
2

Perhaps it’s not a very grounded idea (seeing as how it is so far removed from reality) but I do think that it is productive in the way that well-considered sci-fi is productive. What do we want our culture to look like? What should we prioritize? What are we willing to sacrifice together? Our current system is hopelessly broken. Slapping a bandaid on it here and there feels like progress, but it isn’t. Think of how many misogynistic cultures have come and gone? Empires, monarchies, democracies,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:40 PM
1

No paternity means no child support. Relying on individual men directly is a big problem. I’d rather pay taxes for mothers to have an income, have standardized daycare options, and excellent school options. I mean, we’d basically have to destroy the whole system and start over. Women do the vast majority of child-rearing now anyway, so let’s just pay them to do it. And let’s pay other child-care workers enough to retire eventually. Then the men can just float around and do whatever they want. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:21 PM
2

Maybe we should work on abolishing paternity. We could go back to the days before anyone really knew where babies came from. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:08 PM
33

I guess… The hidden fertility of women is an important factor. But doesn’t this assume that most men aren’t walking Darwin Awards?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 10:17 PM
9

Now list all the things you didn’t have to do! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:38 PM
5

An excellent translation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:25 PM
13

Maybe sleeping in a nest makes you shy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:17 PM
361

Who wants a man that is “as dense as forged steel”? I don’t think that question was ever answered in this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 09:57 PM
49

What if I stayed single and let men figure out their own damn social skills? :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 09:55 PM
23

It’s not even about self-respect. This doesn’t take will-power. You will simply notice over time how much easier your life is when you don’t have to think about what he wants today. It feels selfish to not be the one keeping him in check. You respect him by letting him take care of himself. He’s grown. And eventually you will see that there is nothing selfish about simply taking care of yourself. Save your compassion for people who have compassion for others and you will have the richest life! G…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 08:46 PM
24

I’m buying the second round!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 08:40 PM
88

When I was married we lived down the (very rural) street from “Andy”. Andy was not quite right in the head. He was friendly. He would wave at the school busses and cars driving by. He was a hoarder of all things that his dad had owned before his passing. He would complain about the satanists in the woods. When I told my husband that I was no longer willing to be his wife, he said, “but what if I end up like Andy?!” I did not respond to that at the time, but I thought, “what if I end up being mar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 08:39 PM
3

From an older perspective, I see these young men complaining about how ugly they are online and I get a bit of culture shock. They sound like that last girl in middle school who hasn’t hit puberty yet. I just cant believe that these are grown men thinking this way. And they don’t even want to do anything about it except complain! Even the last girl in middle school to get boobs was willing to stuff her bra. These dudes need to step up a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:13 PM
15

My problem with leaving came from religious views and from an inability to see myself as a “battered woman”. If you are constantly saying of your man, “well, he was raised in a terrible family” or “he has been through a lot and I know it will get better if I XYZ”. Please rethink this. Take one of those “are you being abused?” tests online, and take a hard look at how you would treat people under his same circumstances. Even if you ARE the gold-digging/cheating/awful mother/terrible whore that he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:12 PM
43

I can feel this. I’m a white woman and when I walk past the “missing person” board at Walmart I notice that it is all young women who are Black and Hispanic. This is the only coverage that these young ladies get. I think… maybe I’m not the right person to start something new, but we need our own “Underground Railroad” of missing persons. I learned of Lissa Yellow Bird on an episode of This American Life. She is just a lady with a past who hunts down the people who need to be hunted down. I’m on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:03 PM
27

Women are more likely to care about people other than themselves. That’s what they can’t figure out. When a woman shows them empathy, they soak it right up. When she expects empathy in return, they exclaim, “do you expect me to be a mind reader?!” When a woman can tell by a man’s body language that he is feeling down or sick and tries to help, they soak it right up. When a woman can tell by a man’s body language that he is objectifying her or being dismissive or condescending, suddenly they cry,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:11 PM
8

A WOC would have survived? I hadn’t heard this. I don’t understand the logic. If Gabbi had been any color other than white, I probably would never have heard of her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:53 PM
21

I just say, “can I get that in writing?” They tend to change the subject after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:34 PM
46

Time to go no-contact (with him and his friends). You want to be understood. You want your side heard. You want justice. You want the truth to be known. But the truth is that you will never get any of that. Cut your losses now and start building a life with people who aren’t whiny, simpering children. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:45 PM
2

You’re right, that was a bit of hyperbole. I’m sure they would still find plenty of women who want to plaster on a smile and get judged. I mean…look at Instagram..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:52 AM
33

Hehehehe! I’ll have to use that one. I also like to tell people that kink-shaming is my kink. Don’t kink-shame me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:27 PM
2

I feel like the south is more “pageanty” than the north or the west. Perhaps we were too corn-fed to get the appeal. I don’t even remember girls in my high-school fighting over being prom-queen. The girl who won wasn’t even close to the “most popular”. The popular girls were too busy playing sports and getting high. Maybe times are changing! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 07:18 PM
10

I listened to the beginning of an NPR interview with an author who wrote a book about the history of the Miss America Pageant, and two other guests who had won the pageant in previous years. During their introduction they both explained that they didn’t consider themselves the “pageant type” and that they only joined for the scholarship money. If we paid for college as a nation (because it’s good for a nation to have an educated citizenry) these pageants would basically disappear overnight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:31 PM
13

I would amend that to “anyone who wants to make you live in a van is low value”. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:24 AM
8

I watched that and just couldn’t stop yelling “RUuuuuuuun” every time she came on the screen. Afterword, I looked up the climber’s bio to see when she had succeeded in getting out of this awful relationship. Nope. They’re married now. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:22 AM
14

Yeah, I’m with you. Women who date straight hotties are just fine (go get ‘em, ladies!) But I’m looking for a well-dressed man who smells great, keeps a clean place, does all his own adulting, respects me, and loves me best. That’s “hot” in my book. The rest is on a case-by-case basis, as far as I’m concerned. Never settle, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:03 PM
67

The kids these days all have three jobs and a handful of roommates. It’s no wonder they don’t have time to get busy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:44 PM
8

I’m with you. I’m thinking of starting my own church.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 06:51 PM
72

This is remarkably tone-deaf. You are losing your porn profits because the men you gave 20% of your profits to are being told by the men who run the credit card industry that they don’t want to be held liable for the child porn that is produced for men. Which women are to blame for this, Sydney? I’ll use a “masculine” phrase so you can understand: Stop being part of the problem, and be part of the fucking solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:36 PM
7

Ok thanks. I only ask because I am post-evangelical myself, and a small part of what got me out was living long enough to notice fads in the church. (Like: the concept of “soul ties” never existed at all until I was in my twenties when it suddenly became unassailable gospel truth!) I wonder if these feminine energies will leak in, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:55 PM
16

May I ask, are these “Christian” women? Or are they the crystal-wearing types?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:30 PM
14

Do you have a lawyer? It feels soooo much better to hire someone else to discuss shared assets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:14 PM
5

I kinda like the idea - playing mini-golf or something. Is he a sore loser? A sore winner? I don’t think these kind of activities should come in place of a meal, but it sounds like more fun than dinner and a movie. The only activities you should look out for are the ones you would invite your dog to. Don’t “go for a walk”, or a hike, or sit in the back of his kayak (I hear that’s a thing near me. Lol) But yeah, if he plans a go-carting date with dinner after, why not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 05:15 PM
69

I mean…she got raped and then got cursed for deigning to be raped. Then she turned every man who looked at her to stone. Sis was fed the fuck UP. The Greeks never mentioned what happened if a woman turned up, though. I suspect she was just guarding the doorway of ancient FDS…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:14 PM
43

Basically: if Jesus said it, they ignore it. Paul is the GOAT, with Moses in close second. (No one will admit this, though…) I walked away from all of it after reading the book enough. I understand how squicky it can get with your mother. (Especially if she is a good woman despite her beliefs in other respects.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:39 PM
52

That’s how I found FDS. I wouldn’t even know it existed if it weren’t for the men raging about it. So thanks guys! ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 10:36 AM
85

FTA: “Posted at 10:2710:27 Plymouth gunman 'defeated by life' In videos posted online weeks before the shooting – and since removed by YouTube – the Plymouth gunman Jake Davison spoke of being “beaten down” and “defeated by life”, but compared himself to the Terminator. He said he was socially isolated, struggled to meet women and made references to “incels” – the misogynistic online groups of “involuntary celibate” men, who blame women for their sexual failings and who have been linked to a num…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 12:06 PM
76

This is gross. I am the mother of handsome young men. And when they invite their lovely young men friends over I just want to make them soup and ask them what the kids are up to these days. Any new phrases? New music? How’s the job market? Is your car still running? What the fuck kind of fucked up person finds children sexually attractive. I can’t wait till women take over the world so we can finally shame these fuckers en masse. Maybe we can exile them to an island or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:08 PM
28

There are certainly cases where snooping is necessary, sure. Financial issues and child custody come to mind. (And you’ve made a good tutorial, here!) I just want to highlight that none of us needs “proof” to get out of a relationship. Years ago, when I was still actively involved in church and women’s Bible studies, I heard many women tearfully say “I wish he would just cheat on me so I could divorce him”. They didn’t feel like they had the “right” to leave a man because he was a mama’s boy, or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 03:02 PM
16

This sounds like a lot of work. Why spend all this effort on someone you already don’t trust? It’s not like you need evidence to just pack your shit and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:27 PM
107

Somehow they have confused “size doesn’t matter” when it comes to being a person worthy of basic dignity and “size doesn’t matter” when it comes to being a sex partner. Bigger isn’t always better (there’s a subreddit for that), but there is certainly a bare minimum for PIV sex to be enjoyable. If a man doesn’t meet that and insists on PIV sex as the main event, he’s gonna have as much trouble impressing the ladies with his member as he did impressing the gents back in the locker room. Maybe such…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 05:41 PM
14

This. Whenever I hear men saying that women have it “easier” because they can start an OnlyFans, I just tell them that they can, too. Their are plenty of thirsty men to go around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 05:18 PM
2

“How many times during your crappy job have other people entered your body?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 05:16 PM
1

Yes! I was a fundie back when I first read this (along with ALL of the women and NONE of the men). I am very surprised to see the resurgence of this lightweight trash. Please don’t buy into this, ladies. Fucking astrology is better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:07 AM
48

Me too! I work with a few younger women and I am definitely doing all the cockblocking I can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:23 PM
208

Men always do this. Remember when priests being pedophiles first became big news? Their response was “this is why priests should be able to marry.” Their answer to everything is just to throw women’s bodies at it. Fuck ‘em.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:53 PM
6

If you “don’t care that much”, then why bother making extra laundry?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:14 PM
73

It’s amazing that women who are “naturally feminine” need to be reminded to be “feminine”. I’m a woman. Anything I do is the definition of “feminine”. I don’t need classes for that. It’s as silly as teaching a man how to find his dick. He found it before he learned to walk. Figuring out “how to be a woman” from a man is like figuring out “how to be a cat” from a dog. I got this. I’m putting my tail in the air and walking away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:01 PM
6

This is it. They don’t want to be the “bad guy”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:15 AM
81

Did she get any takers? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:10 AM
3

I mean…I hated being pregnant. I didn’t even have difficult pregnancies, I just felt “off” the whole time in various ways. But! It was kinda cool to see that little alien moving around in there towards the end. Lol Having kids is a massive change. It definitely makes you grow up quickly (if you are at all concerned about doing a good job.) First, you unaccountably fall in love with this slimy, purple, screaming shit-machine that just fell out of your vagina (oxytocin is a hell of a drug). Then y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:26 PM
9

Yes! I’m so glad you got to that place. :) I always have a hard time shopping because I think what I really want is men’s clothes that are tailored for women. Ruffles don’t look right with my skin-tone. Congratulations on being you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:04 AM
45

Toni Morrison does not fuck around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:56 AM
22

You have a good point here. The only women that I have known who have a circle of male friends who aren’t just waiting in line to get a dick in are women who have very “masculine” hobbies and also a “masculine” presentation. If you’re a “butch” woman and you spend most saturdays fixing up chevys in the driveway, it wouldn’t surprise me if you have mostly male friends. If you’re a “fem” and you spend your saturdays clubbing and say that all your friends are boys, I’m gonna send you a link to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:48 AM
55

Ahh that sucks. I was just thinking today that my biggest mistakes have come from believing what other people say. (I know that sounds kinda dark and angsty, but it’s hard to avoid.) You gave him the benefit of the doubt because you were hopeful and generous. The fact that you were wrong doesn’t diminish you at all. Just...consider it a tax you paid to get rid of him for good. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:00 PM
6

She may be a crazy dog lady, but she sounds like she was happy without him. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:41 PM
28

I’m so sorry he did this to you. Please contact a lawyer. I’m not sure how it works where you are at, but here in the US, you generally get a free consultation to talk about your options. (This is completely confidential.) it is ALWAYS better to know your options than to assume that you have none. Your family/friends/husband don’t need to know. Please remember that his behavior is not a reflection on you. You are heartbroken, but you are not quite dead yet. There is no need to think of the end. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:34 PM
6

It wasn’t your fault. I hope your cry is healing for you. :) Edit: Maybe do a little yelling, too. Just to be on the safe side. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:19 PM
37

Yes. Remember: if you were blackout drunk, horny as fuck and naked as the day you were born, you would have been put to bed on your side (with a few ladies laughing at your drunk ass the next day) if you were with women. The problem is that you were with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:29 AM
15

This post reminds me of my reaction to an episode of Oprah (a very, very long time ago) about “female sexual dysfunction”. It was full of women who had no libido and had never had an orgasm from sex. Most of these women were married (or previously married). Now I was still in full “I’m gonna make this marriage work no matter WHAT” mode at that time, but I still found it odd that these women were never asked about the quality of their lovers. If they have only had bad sex education, bad sex, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:25 PM
9

Nah. My guy wants me to be comfy. We may dress up for sexy times now and again, but for us “Netflix and chill” isn’t a euphemism. We are watching Netflix. And chilling. We are comfy. I’ve never felt pressured by this guy to “look sexier” because, ya know, he isn’t trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:04 PM
11

I was only able to be happy in these groups when I had “mom-brain”. There’s a very large switch in priorities when you pop out a kid, and only the women in the trenches want to discuss the consistency of shit or nipple scabs or the idea of being “touched out”. I feel like the “mom-brain” goes away after you gain some confidence in mothering, so when I was having subsequent children, I didn’t have as much use for such groups. Then when my kids got older, I realized that one of the worst thing abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:58 PM
15

I’ve actually never encountered this in the real world. Just online. Maybe it’s a generational thing. I feel like I know plenty of guys under 5’9” who have no issue with their height (or with getting relationships for that matter). Perhaps this is a side-effect of OLD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:48 PM
6

I mean, I kind of agree with this sentiment (I’m post child-raising) though I would change the wording to “financial contract”. Because that’s exactly what it is. I’m all for romance, but let’s not not married for fuzzy feelings anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 10:39 AM
16

Just ask her about the guys she dumped before she met your father. I’d bet there’s a little FDS in there somewhere. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 10:35 AM
10

This sounds like heaven.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:06 AM
28

As a framework for thinking about the give-and-take of relationships, is has some value. But I have personally seen enough women reading this book instead of walking out on a hateful man that it gives me the ick-factor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:02 AM
77

I’m old enough to remember when this fad of a book first rolled through women’s Bible studies across the US. I have yet to meet a man who has even read it. In practice, the book should just be titled “Women: How to CoMmUniCate to your Husband that he Should Act Like he Likes you”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:28 AM
11

Women MAKE themselves the most submissive in order to attract guys who don’t like them. It’s crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:43 AM
17

Yes. It really just takes practice. I remember being a kid and being terrified to call and order pizza when my mom asked me to. By the time I was fully a teenager, it was no big deal. “Adulting” is a compendium of skills that you learn one at a time. Every time you get yourself out of one mess, your confidence to get out of the next mess grows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:58 PM
6

Exactly. Our friendships and romantic relationships should be mutually beneficial. (That’s a wildly radical stance, right?!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:07 PM
15

I’m so sorry he did that to you. No one needs that shit in their life. And yes, he should think that you are beautiful both when you are “trying” to be beautiful and when you aren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:04 PM
37

That was a bit tongue-in-cheek. I was debating whether to put the sarcasm tag on it. Just poking some fun at the usual lib-fem vocabulary that tries to get men’s permission for everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:19 PM
33

Oh! A man who is attracted to women. What a find! Good for you! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:16 PM
60

We may as well do what we want, then!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:15 PM
55

The hard part is that “changing yourself for someone else” is just a basic, normal bonding skill. I hate seafood, but I learned to make homemade crab cakes for a friend’s birthday. (Turns out that I like some seafood!) I took another friend out for Lebanese food which she had never had, i she fell in love with hummus. Another friend took me to some wacky exercise class (it was a bit much for me, but we had fun anyway). I’m not into astrology, but I gave a friend my birth chart because she was so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:06 PM
26

Right? There’s enough thirsty men to go around! Guys can totally take advantage of the opportunity, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:17 AM
5

Ooo yes! Competence and kindness! Can’t pick those traits out in a line-up, unfortunately. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:26 PM
1

[removed because I replied in the wrong place]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:25 PM
190

That’s a good question... when I see some of the sexy-guy posts here, I don’t really relate. Movie stars, models, and dudes on the red carpet are a little too “made up” for my taste. (But, by all means, go gettem ladies!) Personally, I like seeing a guy in motion - no matter what he is working on. And I like hands. And that muscle that goes from the back of the neck across the shoulder! You just gotta ask yourself what you actually notice when you see an attractive man. Is there something you ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:58 PM
161

When her birthday arrives: “Hey I got a PlayStation 5 for us to play together!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:02 PM
10

This is a good point that I hadn’t considered. All women are “lvw” to most men, and that’s the misogyny that we need to get past in our own minds. It’s not really helpful to subscribe to it. I really only interact with FDS terminology while on FDS, though. I am an equal-opportunity user of the term “asshole” in real life. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:00 PM
45

I think it takes a lot of practice to get rid of all the cultural garbage in your head. You’re gonna mess up and look back and cringe. It happens. That doesn’t change what your values and standards are. Keep going, sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:56 PM
60

Agreed. If you wouldn’t let him into your bank account, why would you let him into your body? Trust takes time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:35 PM
11

I don’t want to experience sex the way men do because, frankly, it sounds quite awful. They think of nothing but sex and end up with post-nut-clarity, we hold out for the good stuff and get to see the universe. I feel bad for women who “have sex like a man”. Poor things are missing out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:37 PM
15

I don’t really pay attention to social media much, but I really dig ladies who dress for other ladies (all crazy colors and witchy nails), and ladies who go full “guy” wear (I know an older lady with a crew cut and a rat tail), and ladies who give up their “crowning glory” just go full-on bald. I love to see women give up on the male gaze whether that means full-on technicolor princess or “I’m basically a dude” or any other kind of fuck-it. A “hot-chick” with whatever make up is typical of the e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 09:19 PM
5

I save my compassion for those who have compassion for others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 09:10 PM
16

In my marriage, I always gave the benefit of the doubt. “Well, he didn’t really mean it that way...” or “he was raised in a bad family and doesn’t know any better.” I never attributed fault to him. Even when I confronted certain actions, I would accept the first apology and start making him feel better about treating me badly. I still have no idea whether he really didn’t remember saying certain things or really didn’t think that calling me a whore was “that bad”. I didn’t get a whole lot of gas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:06 PM
2

Right! The past is the present. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:21 PM
3

Yeah, they say they don’t remember until you show them receipts, then they holler “why are you bringing up the past?!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:29 PM
2

I’ve been able to change the script a bit in my own friendships just by changing how I ask things. For example, instead of asking, “are you dating anyone new lately?”, I ask “have you dumped anyone lately? I love a good breakup story!” Reframing the way we speak about romantic relationships in this way helps because a break-up is no longer a failure, or a terrible grief. It’s just one more lesson learned on the way to leveling up. I had a young newly-married friend tell me that her husband was u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:21 PM
5

I’m glad you are getting yours now! There’s nothing in the world better than having sex with someone who actually likes you. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:39 AM
23

Me too. I got whistled at while wearing a sweater and jeans the other day. My mom got hit on at a Best Buy (before the lockdown). She was ranting to me, “I’m old, my hair is gray, I’m wearing sweatpants, leave me alone already!” It never stops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:59 PM
17

I mean this can apply to women. We can be horrible monologue-ers, too. But I would caution you to let your women-friends be your guide in this matter. I’m a natural born entertainer, and in my youth I would do anything to be the spotlight. The quieter girls (the ones with better grades) probably thought I was “too much”, but I don’t know for sure because I wouldn’t let them get a word in edge-wise. I learned over time to be a better listener, a better friend, and to use my social powers to let o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:14 AM
133

Yes! So when a man tells you he wants to check for sexual compatibility, you can just reply “that’s what I’m doing”...and go home. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:24 PM
198

Sex is a form of physical communication. If a man can’t pick up on non-verbal cues enough to realize that he is talking too much or that you need to move out of the sun, or that you are not comfortable with how he talks to the waitress he is going to be awful in bed. This is why the idea of a man being an excellent dancer correlates with proclivity in bed. If he can feel where your body is moving and avoid stomping all over your feet, he may actually care about your experience during sex. (Full …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 05:34 PM
1

That’s...awful. That would be like having your mother whispering in your ear while in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:48 PM
2

Oh! I got the spelling wrong. Looks like it is Shon Hopwood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:47 PM
10

Ugh. This is so stupid. I’m sorry that you even had to read this. It makes my brain cells sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:37 PM
5

Some mental illnesses are external. ;) Congratulations on your new start!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:40 AM
83

I really had no idea until his behavior got so bad that I couldn’t hide it anymore. I honestly thought that it was my “God given” job to make it work. Leaving was never an option in my mind. I was was married. I meant my vows and I was going to do the “hard work” of marriage. This is great advice for women who were raised (even nominally) to have some amount of self-respect and boundaries. But in my case, the hot-second that I found out that I was (oops) pregnant, my whole life was already spell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:10 PM
47

Because they have literally never had to think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:45 PM
82

men with tolerable penises more likely to have a partner I would love to see the research paper with this title! 😂 (Edited for spelling. I was laughing too hard to type properly.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:23 PM
13

I agree, too. When I needed to get out of an abusive relationship, I could always point at stories like this to convince myself that what I was going through “wasn’t so bad”. At least I wasn’t 18. At least he wasn’t trying to get me pregnant (I was already locked down with kids that he could use against me). Etc. What helped me see the light was one of those basic abuse quizzes floating around. “Has he ever broken something that belonged to you? Has he ever X? Has he ever Y?” Having to check all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:18 PM
3

My guy and I had a condom break last year, and my mood immediately went from one-with-the-universe to oh-fuck. He was very considerate. He offered right then to go pick up some Plan B and he also stocked up on chocolate when I explained how that pill makes my period go haywire. Ladies, we would do this for each other in a heartbeat. Expect nothing less from your man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:39 PM
172

He literally could have avoided this by ordering pizza twice a week... A child could have figured that out. They are given more leeway than actual children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:44 PM
6

One thing I really like about FDS is that it promotes dropping ALL toxic or disinterested people from your life. We are all here leveling up, and we want all women to level up. But we do not pretend that all women are wonderful. They are not. Maybe she will grow up and see her mistakes someday, or maybe she won’t. But it’s not your job to “fix the relationship”. Good for you for knowing your boundaries! It’s so hard to drop off someone that you considered close. Hang in there, friend. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:37 PM
15

That movie was great. Not a single “good” character in it. I could not for the life of me figure out how it would end because there was no “hero” to prevail. So yeah, anyone who watches it and comes away with “she’s a bitch”, is definitely a man to be avoided.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:38 AM
8

I just wanna say thanks to the mods. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:28 PM
2

Yeah, that urge to explain yourself to get “closure” can be overwhelmingly strong. But ultimately, doing so is useless. If he cared at all about your perspective, you wouldn’t be in this mess. You can’t win this argument. There is no closure. You’re playing chess against a pigeon. Your best option is to channel that strong woman that you used to be (and still are) and just say, “I don’t accept this behavior. I’m out.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:33 PM
25

Kinda funny how you didn’t see “not all men” in the comments...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 02:04 PM
1

Oh same. I’m not sure if the prohibition on direct links includes FDS link as as well. Hey mods! Lemme know if you need me to take it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:52 PM
5

Yes, I was interested in the same question. I made a poll here: FDS post The vaccine already has a list of side effects that are caused by the immune system “gearing up” to fight Covid if it ever comes in contact with it. This definitely stresses the body out (in the short term). As we all know, various stressors can throw our cycles out of whack, so this isn’t really a question of the vaccine directly effecting the menstrual cycle. It’s most likely an indirect effect of the body getting stresse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:20 PM
3

We are constantly told while growing up that relationships are “hard work”. I can’t even remember how many books about “working on your marriage” came through by Bible study class when I was young. But it’s a lie. Relationships are easy when they consist of two people who support each other. My friendships aren’t “hard work”. Why the hell should my romantic relationship be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:35 PM
2

No one here is claiming that people shouldn’t get vaccinated, I’m not sure how you got that impression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:09 PM
75

Who wants a man’s youth? Can you imagine if you were promised an afterlife of 72 virgin men? :shudder:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 09:43 PM
152

This is 100% correct. Women come at men saying, “what do you enjoy?” And men come at women saying, “what can I get away with?” Our answer to them needs to be: Nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 09:38 PM
3

I’m glad it was smooth sailing for you! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:24 PM
3

Oh that’s great! I’ll look into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:23 PM
2

I can relate to the freak out. I’ve gotten more regular as I got older and it really vexes me now when my uterus ignores the little dot on the calendar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:21 AM
3

Pfizer for me. My guy got Moderna, but unfortunately I can’t compare cycles with him. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:16 AM
3

And send them all to FDS! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:15 AM
2

It’s possible that you may have some change in your cycle even while on birth control. Or maybe not! It’s good to be mentally prepared for the possibility, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:10 AM
5

Ugh. Almost like getting the Depo shot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:10 AM
6

Yep. That’s wonky. I hope you get back to normal soon. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:09 AM
10

Thank you for the info. I had heard about the AstraZeneca blood clot concerns, but I hadn’t heard that it primarily concerned women. (I guess that fits right in with the premise of my post.) I’ll be looking into this more. Do you have any links to the influenza A vaccine data?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:23 PM
2

Ok! Keep us updated :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:19 PM
6

Thanks! I’ll see if I can find it. I didn’t even know there was a periods sub!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:18 PM
3

Good to know though! Who knows what may be important. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:56 PM
3

The rollout seems to be moving right along in the US. I hope you are eligible soon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:54 PM
9

I got the Pfizer myself. I’m due for shot number two in a couple of days. I hope that you are able to rest! I was wrecked, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:05 PM
14

I know what you mean. I paid attention to my period during my (very stressful) divorce because the effects were so pronounced. But ten years ago when I got a terrible stomach bug, I have no idea of whether my period was off. I was too busy cleaning up after sick children! I have started keeping track of my period more since I noticed the extreme-stress-correlation, but this is the first aberration that I have had. (I’m with a man who actually likes me now. Lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:01 PM
7

Ok, so I need to look out for an early period after my second shot. (Maybe). Thanks for the input!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:51 PM
7

I haven’t seen this yet! Thanks for the link. This vaccine is different than other vaccines that we are used to (MRNA vaccine vs. weakened bug vaccine) so it will be interesting to see what difference it makes (if any). I suspect that any symptoms may wonk out a monthly cycle in the same way that stress or other illness can, but I am also interested in whether women have effects beyond that. (Hopefully not!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:50 PM
14

Interesting! Thanks for the update.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:45 PM
8

Thanks for the input. Period changes may be as individual as the rest of the symptoms, but it’s good to know how it can affect us differently!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:44 PM
15

Yeah, that’s my hypothesis. Not like I’m running a clinical trial here, but if one can expect a period to run a little late, we should know that, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:42 PM
18

Oh? Which sub? I heart when women pay attention to such things. (Heaven knows no one else will!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:41 PM
3

Boundaries are required. Gold bikinis are optional. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 11:38 AM
12

It took me a long time to go no-contact with my ex as well. I was married for a long time to a man who didn’t like me. My breaking point was when he began starting “fights” in front of my kids. (At one point, I literally cOMuNicaTed, “don’t treat me like this in front of the kids.”) When I left, I still felt as though I had to manage his emotions. Like...it had been my job for so long to make sure he was “ok” that it was hard to drop the habit. Or...I guess it was a safety issue too, in my case.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:54 AM
12

I think she means a woman that he actually wants to impress. Don’t settle for a man who isn’t trying to get a twinkle going in your eye. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:56 AM
56

Same here. I’m the one who had 3 children, but he was the one who put on 70 pounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:38 AM
7

Oh yes! That’s what FDS is for! Thanks for the definition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:30 PM
6

What does “divesting” mean in this context? (I’m not familiar with the topic and just looking to learn.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:59 PM
24

I wouldn’t say that you have to orgasm every time for your sex life to be good. (There are mitigating physical factors - too much champagne? hormones making it difficult this week? fell off the side of the bed and can’t stop laughing?) But women’s pleasure is so culturally discounted that I do think think that a hard stance is necessary. We give men who don’t give a shit about us too many “chances”. If you didn’t come, it didn’t count. If your man loves you and cares about your pleasure, you wil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:01 AM
3

I have tried to “make cooking fun” with boys, too. Because they were my kids. Men cook when they want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:37 AM
5

“Yins” is very old-time Pennsylvania. My great aunt used to use it all the time. I really don’t know how far it spread into other parts of the east, but it’s a very northern version of “y’all”. Maybe we should bring it back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 11:31 PM
18

I’m so glad you have a relationship with a grown-up now! I know exactly what you are saying. I feel the same way with my current guy. If I bring up something I have a problem with, he’ll just say “oh shit, sorry. I didn’t know you felt like that” and then it changes. Same as I would do for my friends. And it feels weird. I spent years trying to ignore myself for the sake of a husband who didn’t really give a shit, and this relationship is just night-and-day different. It feels great to be liked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 11:25 PM
2

Sometimes our mental illness is external. I wish you lots of peace, friend. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:24 AM
8

I’d have to say “go with your gut” on this one, but I know that some people here are still re-calibrating their guts, so I’ll give a concrete example. If my ex were to tear up some mail, my heart would immediately sink because I knew that if HE had bad news then I had bad news. I knew that I would have to spend the next few hours/days/weeks exhaustively trying to get HIM to feel better, or to fix whatever problem he had. If my current guy tears up the mail, I’d just say, “what’s up babe, need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:15 PM
2

I am definitely a hopeless romantic, too. I love love! But there’s a difference between real, goopy love and just going through the motions. One thing that stands out to me is how much better women are than men at this. They bring each other soup and plants. They give honest and meaningful compliments. They give endless encouragement and understanding. I’m more than happy to do lovey-dovey things for my friends, and I receive those things, too. I was shocked at the end of my marriage to realize …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:45 PM
13

Block and delete. You are under no obligation to “prove” yourself. This isn’t a court of law.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:37 PM
47

Right on. This isn’t a typical wealth-building investment. It’s a statement. It’s a stance against everyone who ties our hands financially and then expects us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 03:37 AM
6

Obedience is not a virtue, friends!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:51 PM
17

Nah. This is silly. Find yourself a guy who isn’t a douchebag. What size douchebag he is isn’t relevant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:14 PM
21

I would also add that sometimes women risk other relationships when they leave. I lost a whole church, among others. No regrets, but it can be pretty heartbreaking when your parents/friends/family refuse to see that you need to gtfo. There is a LOT of social pressure to stay - and not just from strangers that you don’t care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:57 PM
106

This is why the anti-vax movement doesn’t surprise me. The actual talking points of anti-vax are absolute trash, but the underlying motivation is distrust of the medical system. Who would trust them? Every woman I know has horror stories. Finding a good doctor is harder than finding a good pair of jeans. The whole system needs a reboot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 06:12 PM
3

Taking care of yourself is not a masculine trait. It’s just adulting. Good job. I spent my twenties prostrating myself to the patriarchy, so you are ahead of the game, my friend. Anecdotally, the guy I’m with now and I decided to sit down and watch the movie “Sideways” the other day. This is an artsy-fartsy movie from awhile back that got good reviews and we were both nominally aware of, but hadn’t gotten around to watching. It’s basically the story of a wine-loving NVM and his ridiculous best-f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:20 PM
3

For me, the thing that helped was reminding myself of the “last straw”. Whatever it was that made you leave. When I started trying to argue with that guy inside my head, or wonder whether I had bailed too early (nonsense, of course!) I just remind myself of the tracking device he put in my car or the lies that he created to try and “catch” me doing wrong. Then I remember, “nope! I’m not putting up with that shit any more. Move along.” And I go back to taking care of my plants. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 10:48 PM
8

The book (by Gary Chapman) came out in 1992. Looong before “love languages” was a thing you heard about in regular social circles, it was a thing you heard about in women’s Bible study. My experience of this book/concept was that you should speak to HIM is HIS love language...and then sit around and hope that he would speak to you in yours. I’ve heard many women over the years talk about what they have learned from this book. I have never heard a man speak about it at all. ...Except Gary Chapman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:41 PM
5

Great job! It is so hard to overcome those “normal” reactions. But when you’re done, you’re done. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 01:38 PM
27

I couldn’t conceive of myself as an “abused woman”. That was a label that I didn’t want to wear because that just wasn’t how I saw myself. At some point, I found one of those checklists of abuse and scored an eight out of ten, so I started going to an “abused woman” group... and I realized how similar all the stories were to mine. That’s when I knew I had to get the fuck out. I will never allow a man to put me in that place again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:41 PM
4

I was raised evangelical Christian. I was as conservative as you can get in the US while still being allowed to wear pants. When my husband started waving a gun at me, I was told to pray for him. I was told how I should fix the problem. When I finally got angry/smart enough to make him an ex-husband, I dropped off all of my other abusive relationships, too. That includes my “relationship” with god. I tried looking at other forms of Christianity and other religions as well. But I never could find…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:26 PM
12

I wasn’t raised in an abusive household (though I was taught toxic ideas by my church), and for most of my marriage I was able to “manage” his feelings and actions quite well. It wasn’t until the last few years that he really let his crazy out. (Perhaps because I learned the word “no” in my late thirties.) My church friends all told me to work it out. My family told me to consider what Jesus would think about divorce. My best friend from high school said “you’re acting like he has never done any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:47 AM
3

Yes! This was the point that really broke me. I had friendships that weren’t “work”, so why should my marriage be? It took me a while to realize that I had married someone who didn’t even like me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:46 PM
10

Good for you! If we all stood up for others, this world would be a much better place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:42 PM
17

FDS has helped me realize that I am not a bitter, angry woman. In the lead up to my divorce, I slowly realized how much shit I had gone through. Not just from my ex, but from my family, my friends, and my church. I’m not bitter. I’m just calling things as they are. When a man waves a gun at you or threatens to kill himself if you leave, you should leave. Don’t try to “work it out”, don’t try to “figure out his love language” - just get the fuck out in the smartest way you can. I was told I was h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:34 PM
6

I agree. Relationships shouldn’t be “work”. They should be joy. When I make a special dinner for my man now, it doesn’t feel like a chore. And when he pours me a bath with candles and wine it shouldn’t feel like a chore. My (former) marriage was work because I was basically creating a relationship and he was just... going along with it. I constantly had to make sure that he was ok because then “we” were ok. But it was just me plastering over his bullshit. A relationship is “work” when only one p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:24 PM
1

Wow. Yeah. It’s sounds like he missed the ball. I can imagine patriarchal notions carrying on for a bit out of habit, but when all the leaders are women, all the priests are women, and all the marriages are lesbian, how could the patriarchy carry on? Notions of virginity, modesty, submission and all stereotypes of the “weaker sex” would necessarily be dropped or redefined. They wouldn’t make any sense in a world without men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:47 PM
1

I haven’t. That’s going on my list, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:32 PM
1

I like your point that there would be no “unimportant” jobs. The jobs that we deem unimportant now (as evidenced by the paycheck) are largely done by women. I was listening to an interview the other day about unemployment in my state. There is an enormous increase in women applying for unemployment compared to the 2008 recession. Interestingly, it isn’t because more women are unemployed now, but because the new COVID rules relaxed the criteria on eligibility. These woman didn’t make enough money…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:31 PM
1

There would certainly be a radical restructuring in all of these fields. Women who already do these jobs can train others. We would need a high level of organization to make it happen, but it’s doable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:25 AM
3

The population would rapidly collapse in one generation. Human cloning would immediately become ethical and there would likely be migration towards cities that have research facilities tackling the problem. That empty-uterus feeling is no joke, and there would be millions of women lining up for trials. But even in a best-case scenario, there would be not be enough children born to replace adults for a long time. I believe China has the lead on this tech at present and it seems that sharing infor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:17 AM
4

I will put that on my list!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:48 AM
9

Stocked with goddesses!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:10 PM
12

In “Handmaid’s Tale” (which I can’t bring myself to read or watch at the moment) there are women who are the enforcers. This seems true to life in my experience. It was women who taught me not to let a bra strap peek out and that I looked “too beautiful” in that outfit. I wonder how long women would take to grow out of their misogynistic habits? Though the immediate impetus of looking a certain way around men would be gone, the “morality” (invented by men) might take a generation to be excised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:16 PM
18

That truly would be lovely. No more women trying to hide themselves from men and everyone just shining. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:08 PM
23

I thought so, too. I was glad that it didn’t get too deep into what the gritty reality would be (I don’t need that shit in my brain) but yeah, it was basically dudes going about their normal business with of side of being careful not to shoot women in the ovaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:06 PM
5

Do you think that women would eventually form “thuggish” groups?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:04 PM
14

He would have more mothers and lovers than he could handle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:36 PM
8

Same. The people who were supposed to stand up for me did not. It makes me angry looking back at how alone I was in a “community”. Now I’m just trying to use my rage to stand up for my sisters when I can. I hope you are doing better after escaping all that! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:12 AM
3

When I was married, my husband was a significant portion of my identity. I come from a rather fundamentalist background, and part of being the “good wife” means making your man look good, too. Divorce was unthinkable. Pitiable. Embarrassing. It meant that you couldn’t cut it. It wasn’t until trying to cover for his bad behavior became more embarrassing than divorce that I was able to leave. So I think this issue is two-fold. Women are trained to give everyone the benefit of the doubt at all time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:05 AM
2

I would like to try this, too! Am I too late?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:24 PM
2

Thanks. I needed to hear this today. I’m working on that whole self-compassion thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:20 PM
9

Yes! If the compliment you get could just as easily apply to a blow-up doll, it doesn’t mean much. Much better to be a badass Viking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:04 PM
10

“Perfect” is a low-effort compliment, too. What does that even mean? And what happens when I change and grow? Am I no longer “perfect”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:02 PM
6

Same! It’s hard to get over the feeling of responsibility of a failed marriage. But a marriage takes more than one person to make it survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 11:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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