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Adventurous_River_64 Archive

View 13 posts and 390 comments by Adventurous_River_64 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
835

Adventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:29 PM
720

DISCUSSIONAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:23 PM
720

RANTAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:14 AM
690

PICKME CULTUREAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:20 PM
436

RANTAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:43 AM
422

DISCUSSIONAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:15 AM
213

CULTURAL MISOGYNYAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:00 PM
116

FINE AF FRIDAYSAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:39 PM
90

DISCUSSIONAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:16 AM
5

DISCUSSIONAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:05 PM
1

LESSON LEARNEDAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:09 AM
1

DISCUSSIONAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:27 AM
1

FDS MEMESAdventurous_River_64/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:16 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
32

This has happened to me too. In my experience they’re taken and feel guilty about their attraction to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:51 PM
90

I have a female friend who does this too. She will talk about moving to my neighborhood, will continually invite herself over or to things I’m going to, and even asked me out of nowhere if she could be my child’s godmother. I said no of course. I think she has poor impulse control and complete lack of boundaries. She’s always been a cool girl, pretty, with lots of guys interested in her. I think she’s been somewhat shielded from the effects of her behavior by this. There’s always another guy wai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:09 PM
130

Honestly this sub overall. Also a therapist who helped me to look objectively at situations and unlearn a lot of negative self talk that I had developed over the years. When you start respecting yourself more it’s easier to see and stand up to disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:07 PM
4

It’s a great movie and so unsettling. Such a good reminder to leave when things feel off or uncomfortable, there’s a reason for that. The main character was financially vulnerable and I think he stayed longer than he should have due to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:03 PM
26

Yes I’m going through this now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 09:23 PM
137

My ex has this eyes wide open, innocent looking expression. He used it to avoid accountability and feign ignorance anytime he could be called out on something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 07:24 PM
174

Megan is so out of his league and it’s sad to me that she consistently dates men that just seem so trashy and LV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 10:48 PM
15

This happened to me too. I had guys who I had been in larger friend groups with for years suddenly start paying me so much attention and trying to hang out one on one that never had before. The funny thing was there were guys in that friend group who’d always talked to me even during my less attractive phase. Those are the same ones who seem to have great, HV partners now. I think they had a strength of character even in high school to treat everyone with respect and it really shows now that we’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:53 PM
149

I experienced this too. I had a good friend group and got attention from men regardless so I wasn’t super phased by that. The worst was that I suddenly was accepted and paid much more attention to by family, from my grandma to extended family and even my dad. It was like my whole adolescence and teen years I was just worthless to them. It was horrible and makes me so sad for my younger self who didn’t know any better than to accept their treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:47 PM
4

My neighbors live in a basement flat owned by a couple who lives behind the building. I constantly see the owner in their yard poking around during the day when I assume they’re at work. It gives me the creeps and I feel super bad for them, the couple is extremely nosy and unpleasant to everyone on our block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:50 PM
11

Ugh I absolutely hate how common this is :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:17 PM
14

I had a device called an addalock when I lived in an apartment with a creepy maintenance guy. This would have been helpful though cause I could only use that device when I was inside the house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:16 PM
2

I thought there was a theory that their living space had toxic mold growing in it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:02 AM
1

I think that the show is not great for young women. I used to watch the reruns as a teen and it definitely did not help me with my development or self confidence. I do appreciate it more in my late twenties though. I think that the friendships are realistic. I also think that the characters are supposed to be very flawed and are definitely not written as aspirational characters. It makes me happy to see women my age and older exploring life and sexuality together. Also the fashions!! I will say …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:59 AM
10

Sometimes. My dog hates/ is very afraid of all men usually though and she loves my ex who is just a useless loser. I guess he must have a calm sweet aura or something. It makes me happy that she does like him since we share a child but it’s also like what? Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 04:50 PM
95

I’ve noticed this too. I adopted my first cat a year ago and I’m obsessed with her but I have noticed funny reactions from some people when I say that I have a cat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:13 AM
100

I’ve been this woman. I half considered giving him another chance, too. I really loved this guy and he dumped me when we were graduating college. He came back years later with the whole soulmates story, how he’d been thinking about me for so long, all that. But he never actually cared to ask how I actually felt. It was all about HIM. If he’d even been the slightest bit considerate and tried to be upfront with me about how he felt and see how I did too I probably would have gotten back with him. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:31 PM
47

Bob Dylan and Sara Lownds too. He totally idolized her when they met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:29 PM
334

I wanted to make a post on this. So tragic, she was so young and had accomplished so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:04 AM
11

Unless it’s the good kind of “fine” 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 04:03 PM
8

I’ve had one partner who truly enthusiastically reciprocated and I enjoyed giving them to him. It was part of the larger experience of sex for us and just felt natural. I’ve had other partners who expected it but never reciprocated and other who didn’t ask but also didn’t go down on me either. Also one who would try to go down on me constantly to the point that it was weird lol. The first was definitely preferable to me as I never felt self conscious or any kind of insecurity with him and our re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 03:27 PM
13

I just saw this it’s so terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:28 PM
105

Their house/ apartment is cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:45 AM
271

She still sounds very self deprecating. I used to be like that too, and wonder why anyone would pay attention to me or help me when I needed it. I hope that she can learn self love and hopefully find FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 12:35 AM
20

Amen 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:50 PM
8

It’s not annoying at all! I love that stuff too. Mindset is everything :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:42 PM
8

So I’m feeling slightly embarrassed admitting this because there was just a post on here somewhat dragging him but Hamish Linklater aka Father Paul in Midnight Mass. I can’t help if I just love the lanky type lol. Also a younger, more conventionally hot crush of mine is Lawrence from Insecure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:18 PM
21

True. I’ve had three exes who fit the profile and none of them were HV. One was an unemployed, cheating alcoholic who went to jail while we were dating (very low point for me personally), another was emotionally abusive to me and triangulated me with his ex, and the third is just a man child who I have the misfortune to be raising a kid with. I think that them being my “type” led me to somewhat drop my standards or at least allow them to get away with worse behavior. At the end of the day they m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:00 PM
22

I like this. I did write down in my journal a very long list of everything I’m looking for in a partner. I think the hard part is not idealizing anyone who does seem to fit those qualities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:51 PM
17

Yep this is me too! It’s rough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:50 PM
34

It’s crazy. I just saw this posted on another sub and he’s getting roasted for it lol thankfully
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:49 PM
7

I love this show. I really love Gillian Anderson in everything honestly. Even in the X-files she carried herself so well and trusted her intelligence and instincts, she also never pandered to the men on the show. Also her 90s style and makeup was very on point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:20 PM
695

I lost it when he specified the foot size 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:18 PM
10

Can I just say I love your writing lol I can picture this so vividly in my head
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:23 AM
4

I have way too many friends who’ve dated dog walkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:19 AM
8

Maybe accountant? 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:17 AM
54

Yes I immediately side eye any man who has done that. I used to work at a diner and there were lots of regulars who would come in. Two of them had wives from the Philippines who were substantially younger than them. Both of the men were just gross disgusting creeps and I felt really bad for their wives. Of course I don’t know the whole situation but it just seemed off to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:57 PM
50

Out door food?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:05 PM
8

He’s attractive in theory but he’s way too good at playing super creepy characters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:27 AM
189

For real. Scrotes get extremely jealous of talented women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 09:20 PM
60

This is my sister to a T. Married at 24 to her boyfriend she’s had since she was 19 (he’s 7 years older) and 3 kids now but has always had a superiority complex about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:43 AM
247

Lmao is this person connected to reality at all?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:38 PM
37

Is that what this video was about or something? Like how did he make that connection?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:35 PM
175

I know a couple guys with that smug demeanor who totally creep me out. They’re unattractive too but manage to pull women way out of their league. Comes off as so calculated and phony.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 01:24 AM
43

Been there and have a child with that one smfh. He’s known as the idiotic good looking one who no one takes seriously. Even referred to by older male family members as a clown. The real clown was me 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 01:16 AM
227

Especially if it’s coming from his own family members or friends. They’ve known him a lot longer than you. I used to take things like that as a compliment 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:44 PM
66

This is disgusting, he looks so calculated carrying out all the boxes of her stuff. I admire her attitude so much I just hope that she can stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 02:53 PM
30

Oh man the interview with her parents is heartbreaking. I was wondering if someone was going to make a post on here about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:27 PM
42

I see it when I dare to express an intelligent opinion that might counteract theirs in public. Especially when other people agree or take my side. You see a flash of rage in their eyes that you dared to go against them, like it’s the worst thing that could possibly happen to their shitty make ego lol. It’s happened to me countless times when I “stepped out of place.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 12:45 AM
77

My former coworker had a stack of poker chips that he would loudly shuffle and clack around throughout the day. In an open office. Dude sucked at his job and ended up getting fired though, lol. Funny how that happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 12:43 AM
23

I like to take my dog on long walks, pick up an iced latte, and listen to a good podcast or my favorite music. I live in a historic neighborhood and there are lots of beautiful houses to walk around and look at. It’s perfect! I don’t do this as much anymore now that I have a kid but I used to bring a book to the beach or swimming pool and spend an afternoon reading and taking dips in the water to cool off. Swimming is soo restorative to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 05:17 PM
178

Work in law, this is definitely true. The charming, manipulative lawyers always make their way to the top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 07:57 PM
16

I just experienced this hanging with a group of girls I knew from high school that I hadn’t seen in a few years. In those years I’ve leveled up a LOT - my skin has gotten way better, lost weight, improved my style, started working out, etc and my confidence is so much higher than it was back then. A few of the girls in the group were genuinely super happy to see me, talk and catch up. Two of the the others were SO standoffish though and would barely look in my direction. So weird, I clocked it t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 06:03 PM
32

Haha this happened to me. His life was incredibly boring. He also would ask the same questions every time I saw him, like a script. He didn’t even remember things I’d told him previously. Dude had a very robotic aura.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 05:36 PM
87

I actually liked Frozen for this reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 06:30 PM
84

Exactly. Once I adopted this mindset (thanks to FDS) my life improved a LOT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 05:20 PM
15

I am committing fully to at least a month without alcohol. I dumped all booze that I had in the house and stocked up on fancy sparkling waters and limes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 11:38 PM
44

My sister is kind of trad wifey. She has two kids and pregnant with a third, homeschooling, and does 100% of the cooking, cleaning and childcare. Her husband DOES work very hard on their farm but they have such rigid roles. It’s like little house on the prairie. As someone else mentioned the tradwife ideals overlap a lot with white supremacy and I’ve definitely noticed a shift in how they think and act since starting their family, towards very right wing conservative ideology. Of course they are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 11:35 PM
96

“I’m a slut...” Um, ok then? Are you telling me this so I can be prepared for your cheating? I didn’t stick around to find out lol. someone also told me “I have a problem with being self righteous.” Problem was the tip of the iceberg, that relationship destroyed my self confidence for years. what an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 06:48 AM
12

I picture him sending the low effort text and sitting back. He’s waiting for the angry paragraphs he always gets. Or some version of “I didn’t mean it, can we be friends?” He’s waiting for me to like his bands Facebook posts and show up at their show with our mutual friends who all went. He already told his “buddies” how obsessed I was and how I blew everything out of proportion and now he gets to show them the proof. Except it never ever comes 😈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 12:43 AM
29

Ugh this is terrible. I was just reading about the incredibly tragic story of the DeBarge family and it’s really sad how their mother didn’t protect any of the kids from their father’s abuse. Heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 09:31 PM
18

I know someone exactly like this. She’s currently radio silent and it’s been months, she literally dropped off in the middle of a texting convo. She will absolutely throw any woman under the bus for male validation. I remember being upset about a guy once and her idea of “helping” was to basically catfish him (as herself) and fuck with him. Like what?? I told her how uncomfortable I’d be with that and she was like “oh yeah.” She’s unstable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 09:28 PM
37

I used to. Then I had a kid and it became harder and harder to stomach. There is enough suffering in the world and I didn’t like to focus on death and crime as entertainment anymore. I was also becoming very paranoid. I noticed recently that Netflix is like all true crime documentaries now so obviously it’s super popular. Just not my thing anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:54 AM
8

I love Oscar Wilde, he’s still relevant and funny to this day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:01 PM
2

That’s a good point. I was honestly telling my mom how when celebrities become single parents it’s probably much easier on the mothers since they can usually keep primary custody but have enough money to afford nannies, help, etc. so maybe that’s the case for the influencers here too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:13 AM
2

I’m not going to name one since she has a pretty small following but the other is Rudy Jude, she’s an extremely talented textile artist and designer who lives in Maine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:10 AM
52

I liked Uncut Gems a lot but he was such a scrote in that movie, he’s a good actor but I feel like he just plays different versions of himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:41 PM
8

Oh yeah, I do think a lot of the respectability politics around marriage are bullshit. I don’t think that these women are trashy- like I said, I’m a single unmarried parent myself. I just question the men mostly for having multiple children, being in committed public relationships with the children’s mothers, but NOT wanting to provide the security for their families that they’d get through being married. Maybe they’re planning on leaving eventually? It’s just odd to me. I know that not everyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:05 PM
3

No, both are in the US
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 11:43 AM
176

If you’ve ever tried to make it from scratch it has kind of a horrifying amount of cream and cheese in it, and this is coming from someone who loves pasta lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 03:25 AM
11

I mean these men seem (?) like good providers and are in relationships with the mothers. They seem like highly educated, attractive, relatively wealthy people who are able to provide well for their kids. It’s just strange to me that they wouldn’t be married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 03:16 AM
329

Lol. Alfredo is such a fuckboy meal too, it’s not even that good. To me it’s the equivalent of little kids only eating Mac and cheese. My ex considers the jarred Alfredo sauce over noodles to be amazing and a complete meal 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 02:58 AM
53

True. I’ve unfollowed so many influencers but ultimately I really do need to just kick the Instagram habit cause it leads to a disconnect from reality I feel like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:58 AM
41

This is horrible and headlines like this are awful. This mother lost her child and you know she’s going to be attacked so much for this instead of focusing the anger and outrage on the man who did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:20 AM
10

Wow. I wonder if she could annul the marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:19 AM
13

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:10 AM
32

Wow what the fuck. I remember Rhye cause they had a song when they first got big that I really loved. This is just disgusting, I feel awful for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:50 AM
458

Exactly. This is why I have such a problem with my white, upper middle class friends who champion sex work and/or have an Onlyfans account. To me it’s morally bankrupt. They are shielded from the true realities of sex work by their immense privilege and I really question their values. We’re in our late 20s and should be able to think critically about these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:48 AM
49

A little different but I remember how annoyed I was when I found out that like 90% of my guy friends’ “humor” was them just quoting their favorite movies or shows to each other. No originality at ALL. My female friend group was a thousand times more naturally funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:58 AM
31

Literally had this exact thing happen to me, I’m a mom too. She couldn’t comprehend why guys hitting on me or catcalling me around my child was so gross to me since for her I guess it’s a big part of her self worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:55 AM
5

True, I had a coworker once find my Facebook and message me when I don’t think I’d ever even told him my name. We worked in a huge warehouse and he literally had only said hi to me a few times. That was extremely creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:51 PM
31

Everyone in my city (that is white) that loudly proclaimed BLM and ACAB last year has really shown themselves to be racist with zero POC friends. Make it make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:24 PM
31

Honestly this is kind of classist. For some (probably a lot of) people red lobster is a nice meal and they’d be happy to take a date there. As someone who didn’t grow up eating at those restaurants it wouldn’t occur to me to do that but I’m not going to judge people who do. I do think that a grown adult should expand their horizons a little bit especially when dating and be more creative. But I’m not looking down on people who take their dates to a chain especially when there might not be other …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:58 PM
14

My older sister has been negging and putting me down in front of others for our whole lives. With the help of a therapist I have finally gained the skills and confidence to stand up to her and it feels incredible to watch her attempts to insult me crumble. She recently tried to neg me by insinuating that my dog was unhappy living in a city with me (I have a house with a large yard, she’s not cooped up at all). Normally I would have agreed with her or done some doormat bs but I just acted like I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:51 AM
6

This is sadly relatable for me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:32 AM
5

One of my good friend’s boyfriends is like this. My dog is scared of almost all men but she warmed up to him within a day and they are friends now lol. His mannerisms and body language are just really gentle and non threatening and my dog totally picked up on it! I’m happy for my friend because he seems like a very HV partner so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:58 AM
29

Also if his name is not on your child’s birth certificate he will have to go to some considerable lengths to prove paternity in most US states. Many men cant be bothered do this and therefore have zero parental rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 03:15 AM
4

Good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 09:07 PM
1

Ohh man I shut a guy friend down when he tried to turn our texting convo into talking about losing his virginity. He called me a Puritan and then sent the face palm emoji. It’s definitely negging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:58 PM
7

I just posted about this in the general advice thread. So even if the guy turns out to be HV, would you ever tell him you googled him? Even like years down the line? I struggle with being overly honest sometimes even if it’s too my own detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:55 PM
3

From a grown man it comes across as something being off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:44 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ouihh9/men_using_lots_of_emojis_is_a_red_flag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:30 PM
5

this is my personal dealbreaker emoji 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 04:02 PM
9

There was a thread on here about LVMs using emojis and this perfectly illustrates that lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 04:02 PM
3

So I know FDS advocates looking into a guys social media etc before starting dating. Would you ever tell someone that you did this in the future, like if you ended up getting into a serious relationship? I can’t help but feel that they’d be put off by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 06:42 PM
55

I’ve also had an issue lately with women who give LVM passes for their bad behavior because they’re “part of the group.” A lot the people I know like this are really HV and funny but the men in their friend groups are gross yet get treated like gods. I hate it and it used to make me feel like I could never be cool enough for them. In reality I think the men just expected to be worshipped and hated me as a result (probably I also wasn’t conventionally attractive enough for them to consider me a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 02:47 PM
7

7 is so relatable for me right now thank you for writing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:00 AM
55

Being good at academics is only one facet of intelligence. I think it’s easier for men to succeed and gain respect in academia. It would be very important to me if I was dating someone with a PhD to make sure that he respects the women in his field and gives them credit for their work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 04:29 PM
102

I remember I slipped and fell on ice once in front of a group of our friends and my ex just stood there while my friend helped me. It was so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:38 PM
66

As an introvert who is prone to depression things like this give me anxiety lol. I feel like introverted women already get enough pressure to change ourselves and this feels like another dig for not being “energetic” enough or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:00 PM
120

I’m not dating at all. My life is really enjoyable right now and I finally have the time, energy and money to live how I want to. It would be nice to share my life with someone but I’m really happy without. Dating is exhausting and the last few dates on have been disappointing and a waste of time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 04:58 PM
1

Yeah I can’t imagine how incredibly pissed I’d be if I were the new girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 03:40 AM
5

Honestly their wings are really good, I only know this cause they opened a takeout branch called Hoots that basically only sellers the wings and fries lol. I’ve never been to the real thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 02:02 AM
39

Not to defend him, but the girl in the first picture is Audrey Hamilton who was 20-21 at the time. The girl in the second picture is his daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:25 PM
13

I read somewhere that multiple of his former partners committed suicide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:21 PM
2

Out of curiosity do you think any of the Beatles are HV?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:19 PM
25

This happened to me. These old gross guys in a liquor store said me and my friend were both hot but they especially liked her. She didn’t stand up for me at all and she repeated what they said later like it was such a compliment to her. I never hung out with her again, I felt so humiliated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:14 PM
12

Hahah my ex was obsessed with John Lennon and hated Paul. Tbh I don’t care for any of them that much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:46 PM
19

I think that’s Robert plant actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:44 PM
47

It was so stupid. I and everyone else with a brain know they’re fake but who cares? They looked good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:51 AM
283

I remember I was at a funeral of all places and a man who I’d never met complimented my nails in front of a group of women. He was going on about how long and nice they were and how of course they were real cause I would never wear fake nails, while insinuating that the other women (who he knew) did. I was like “nope they’re fake...” and the women all started cracking up. Like wtf was he even going for. If a man tries to do anything like this, especially in front of a group, he really needs to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 02:27 AM
28

A lot of guys I know picked up smoking when they were like 18-19 to be cool. Now years later you can see the effects and it’s not good at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 11:13 PM
4

True. I’m sorry about the loss of your husband as well (should have put that in my original reply). Those videos can definitely become a coping mechanism for getting through hard times and the creators of them know it and can really exploit that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:18 PM
5

I watch the tarot videos too while I’m working since they’re kind of nice background noise lol and I usually somewhat tune it out. I definitely watched them more after breakups and that’s when I need to remind myself to come back to reality. The twin flames/ law of attraction stuff starts getting too much for me though. I had an ex who believed in all that who was one of the most stagnant repressed people I’ve met. For all the manifestation he was supposedly doing it sure didn’t get him anywhere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:58 PM
21

Same. Or male on child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:49 AM
18

Oh definitely. It’s hard to have the wool pulled from your eyes and see what the reality is. But it gives me more inspiration to create and cultivate women only spaces where before I probably wouldn’t have thought it was necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:16 PM
28

100%. A lot of them are just kind of gross creepy guys who happen to have tattoos and nice clothes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:14 PM
24

Very. Multiple of my female friends have dated people in “open relationships” who they met on Tinder. People act like that stuff is so casual and normal but I’ve seen so much heartbreak and drama caused by this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:13 PM
22

Ugh there are so many guys like this in the music scene of the town I went to college in. Most of them have a harem of exes and female friends that orbit them. They also act like being in band and/ or having tattoos is a personality trait 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:09 PM
6

I think she would definitely fit into that category. I tried reading her book but couldn't get past like a few pages because I couldn't stand her writing style. I think she's a genuinely funny, intelligent person but she seems very deeply insecure and self loathing and it gives off a bad energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:03 PM
39

Oh definitely! One encouraging thing is that I’ve seen lots of all women nature/ hiking groups so that’s very cool. It’s hard within the music and art scene since it’s still sooo male dominated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 05:07 PM
22

I know. That’s how I know their opinion of most of the women in their groups must be trash. They’re usually just so misogynistic and elitist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:45 PM
31

True! Thanks for this comment. Both of the women I mentioned above have struggles with female friendships and I’ve noticed are on and off with different friends a lot of the time. I think it’s pretty telling of the fact that they invest their energies into their relationships with men over their friendships. I’ve been guilty of this somewhat in the past but I definitely find this to be very LV behavior now. Romantic relationships are important but your friendships deserve effort and attention as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:25 PM
51

Oh my god that's horrific. I'm so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:01 PM
129

Right? I have some sympathy but at the end of the day they’re perpetuating the same patriarchal bullshit by letting these guys get away with being terrible. Not to mention throwing other women under the bus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:22 PM
162

Someone on tiktok did this text series recently of Bella and Edward messaging each other and I was dying laughing. They have Edward texting like an 80 year old man and doing signatures at the bottom of every message. Like duh he’s hundreds of years old and she’s in high school? ew lol. Edit: here’s the link, it got reposted to Instagram (delete this comment if this isn’t accepted!) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRnQq9IjlBJ/?utm_medium=copy_link
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:13 PM
191

I will never get over the grossness of the imprinting thing with Bella’s daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:45 PM
25

I’ve been on the sending and receiving end of long paragraphs and I wholeheartedly agree with this. They make the sender look weak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:04 PM
16

Yes, in a college sociology class we studied a matriarchal community in Papua New Guinea. It was very cool and inspiring as a young woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:12 PM
7

That’s gross and tacky of him. I definitely had that experience with high school crushes who were the “cool guys” at school. Yeah they might have been athletic or good looking but a lot of them were major LVMs that were propped up by pickmes who never questioned them and by their stupid bro code. They had this false sense of superiority and would treat girls like shit and get away with it. A lot of them are balding now that we’re in our late 20s and now that their looks are gone and they’re not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:50 AM
6

lol I guess I could see that. I mean if he had mentioned the site he got it from and then like “and look at their 2 day shipping!” then yeah I would definitely think it’s an ad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 05:07 PM
92

God he needs to be in jail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:12 PM
160

Wait so he admitted to watching and enjoying child porn? Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:00 PM
6

Also Brandon Blackwood is a great brand to support 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:40 PM
756

I love how he’s excited about the fast shipping 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:12 AM
9

I used to really love his music but I think he is a very damaged person. why are they trying to normalize this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:35 PM
7

Same!! Harvey Guillen is a treasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:46 PM
219

My ex didn’t care or comment on what I ate but his mom made multiple comments like that to me, while I was pregnant! Who tf shames a pregnant woman for eating a plate of food. It’s a LV trait for anyone to have. Also I would NEVER have said anything to her but she had really poor eating habits and had type II diabetes. It was so weird, and of course my ex didn’t stand up for me when I got upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:32 AM
13

Has anyone else had their profile reported by a “concerned Reddit user?” I got a weird message from a Reddit support system today. Since like 95% of my post history is FDS it feels like someone is just reporting people who are on the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 02:07 AM
199

This is so funny cause when it’s the other way around 90% of guys will act super desperate and embarrass themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:35 PM
114

Omg my ex did the same thing with the eggs even down to the cast iron skillets lol. He was making breakfast for my brother and I and really trying to impress us. He used like six of these really nice eggs I bought from a local farm and turned them into a dry unseasoned lump. Like no salt even! And then he didn’t even clean the pans. It was shameful 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 10:33 PM
8

Right? We all know that “leagues” are another way to quantify our value to the world with our looks of course being the main factor. It’s really dehumanizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 10:26 PM
114

I agree with this and had a lot of the same feelings regarding the post. I think the concept of “leagues” is super damaging too and leads to so much comparison and I don’t like that it was the language that they chose to use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 08:56 PM
6

Right? That’s exactly what happened to me. Also I had just dyed my hair red and this guy was ALL over me. I saw his wife a few days later and of course she’s a redhead. Like dude your kids are right there stop fetishizing people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 08:37 PM
15

Ugh I had to drop a friend after she told me I should have a “steamy affair” with this married guy who was hitting on me at the playground. Like how could you ever trust a friend like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:38 PM
239

What a strong woman. I’m so glad she was able to protect her kids and so angry at what she had to go through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:19 AM
32

Ugh I wish I had been less naive about this. I remember I was just starting to date my ex, who of course described himself as a feminist (lol), when he made a disgusting comment about his friend’s girlfriend and how someone needed to “muzzle the mutt” since he found her so annoying. even though I was totally a pickme back then I was so taken aback and I told him that I couldn’t be with someone who talked about women that way. He got so apologetic and I believed him and stayed with him. Trust me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 05:44 PM
67

Isn’t he supposed to be caring for the kids? At this point if he did that and didn’t work they’d still be better off since he wouldn’t be actively throwing money down the drain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:48 AM
4

Oh definitely. Probably more like 99.8% lol. But even the cute, attractive guys are still just like any other random guy until they prove themselves and make an effort to be in our lives. Crushes are meaningless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:37 PM
312

Wow what the fuck. Why does he hate her so much? He probably has a side piece he actually buys jewelry for and this is making him feel ashamed for being a huge piece of shit. His reaction is so over the top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:15 PM
18

Lol I love the no contact thing. I just imagine them telling their bros how “clingy and needy” you are and that’s why it didn’t work. Meanwhile they’re secretly checking their phone constantly cause they’re expecting you to be texting them paragraphs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:07 PM
71

Dude they are!! I was bamboozled by one too. He was completely addicted to tinder and was constantly texting women and adding them on Instagram and Snapchat. He was literally following hundreds of different women from tinder on his cool naturey Instagram account. They think their job makes them gods gift to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:54 PM
162

Yes! This used to happen to me way more before I discovered FDS. I read a post here that said something about how 99% of guys you meet you will never date or marry. They’re just some guy! It’s nothing personal but that’s just how it is in life. As I start valuing myself more I realize that it’s silly to do things that might be detrimental to me over someone that is most likely just going to be “some guy,” who hasn’t proven himself to me at all. It took a lot of the stress and anxiety that I had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:51 AM
3

There was a post on here a while ago about practicing looking down your nose at scrotes and honestly it’s fun to practice (in public of course in a safe situation). I’ve been working on my posture lately as well and when I do this I feel like an unapproachable queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:42 AM
96

Wow my ex was a baby boy to a t, this was painful to me to read since it articulated so many of the problems in our relationship. Even down to the unfulfilling sex life and the weird childish eating habits. He also became abusive after our child was born and he was expected to contribute and step up. It’s so weird because it was an awful relationship but then in a lot of ways he was also a more present and loving partner than I’ve ever had, minus the abuse of course. When it came down to it thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:37 AM
13

Hahah I love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:21 PM
50

I like this a lot. I have a daughter and I’m trying to raise her this way, so that she knows that she deserves and should expect the best. I was not raised this way at ALL and even though my dads intention was to “toughen me up” all it did was to teach me that I was lesser than other people and to basically become a doormat. It’s really hard to unlearn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:16 PM
2

Omg this happened to me too. It also severely limited our social outings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 06:51 PM
29

I used to think they were real and that’s how I was supposed to be too. It’s soo damaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:32 AM
5

I absolutely love roger Federer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:20 PM
1

Sorry I tried but I have DMs off so I don’t think I’m able to :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:06 PM
59

I do most repairs myself or my dad does them for me. I’ve always hated having men in my house and it’s one thing I LOVE about owning my own place! No more creepy apartment maintenance men that have a key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:32 PM
43

Personally I find her kind of tacky
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:18 PM
79

Omg this so much. I was on a trip with my ex and he ran out of weed to smoke. Usually in his main environment he was happy funny, laid back. I didn’t realize it was due to excessive weed smoking and on our trip he became the grumpiest person ever. It was worse than traveling with a toddler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:10 PM
17

I came here to say this haha. I’m never falling for that one again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:30 PM
76

Same. It messed me up for YEARS 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:01 AM
15

I was talking with a guy friend and he started talking about how he’s been dating around but the “sexual chemistry” isn’t there. This is an LVM thing right? I feel like if you’re emotionally present and connected with your partner this so called sexual chemistry is natural. I also feel like how is he having sex with this many casual partners to even know this? I’ve been thinking about it for a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:08 PM
31

As an American I feel like one of the BIGGEST things that we can do is push for legislation that provides free universal early childhood education. That is so huge for mothers to be able to work or go to school and advance their careers while knowing that their kids are safe. It really sets them up for so much lifetime success. I really really hope that the US can get it together and realize that this is an investment that will pay off for decades. In the meantime I would recommend donating to c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 09:10 PM
-3

He’s the most HV out of all of the boyfriends and partners on the show. I mean personally I don’t find him attractive but he does treat Charlotte really well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:31 PM
5

I have a friend who does this all the time too. Or she won’t tell me something very important that would definitely affect me because she doesn’t want to “create drama” or make me feel bad. It feels like a huge betrayal because as my FRIEND you should be able to tell me these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:01 PM
14

I saw this meme that said you know you’ve grown up when you realize Harry was the only man in the show worth marrying lol. I agree that Carrie is totally a LV pick me. However I do still love watching the show because of the fashion and I also like their friendship dynamic. Sarah Jessica Parker can literally pull off any outfit and I am a big fan of hers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:57 PM
3

Right? And he took his ring off too so it wouldn’t hurt him. Just so tender. 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:11 PM
50

That kind of thing just totally breaks my heart. They are so vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 04:56 AM
51

Ok I’m not sure if you watched twin peaks but Bob from that show immediately sprang to mind. He’s terrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:59 PM
11

Yes 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:39 PM
17

Kind of. But I’d argue that her father would have done a lot of damage to her either way. It’s really tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:30 PM
95

I honestly think she’s had way less control over her life than the majority of us. She’s been surrounded by predators and people who took advantage of her since childhood. Luckily the majority of us won’t be in that situation since we’re not in Hollywood or like the entertainment biz but it is really scary and sad. I think education is key and also like having a will, having your finances in order, having access to a good lawyer etc. easier said than done because that stuff can be prohibitively …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 12:31 PM
97

Right? One of my exes had this constant guilty feeling and it really showed in everything he did. He said he hated any expressions of love or affection because he felt he didn’t deserve them. Except sex of course lol. I spent sooo long trying to convince him he did deserve love while getting nothing in return. He blamed it on “growing up catholic” and having the sense of catholic guilt. Maybe someone who is catholic can expand on that but I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that he did someth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 12:26 PM
52

She’s so hilarious and gorgeous. He looks kinda crusty to me 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 10:55 AM
56

She reminds me of Cece from New Girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:14 AM
29

This is really great. I’ve been super disturbed by the rise of insta moms who dress up matching their daughters. A lot of the outfits just look so weird on a toddler, especially the fashion nova kids clothes. Also just raising a kid in front of the camera and having them pose like that every day is just sad to me. For the moms on here if you’re looking for good kids clothes Primary makes stuff that is super cute and comes in tons of different colors that’s also kid appropriate. Also no weird “da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:14 PM
1

I know one person who paid for qualifications to get in the door at a tech start up. It worked for him I guess? However he has always been a major slimeball with no morals and I hope it blows up in his face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 04:46 PM
15

What is the guy on the right saying? I think my eyes are bad lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:59 PM
45

Oh man I just teared up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 10:55 PM
40

I think the first sign for me has always been if he talks down on your friends or family after meeting them for the first time. He’s trying to get you to distance yourself from them and prove that you’re “not like them.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:53 PM
13

God why is this true 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:52 PM
27

I agree. I found https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e6rcqu/traits_of_the_very_most_desirable_women/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf this post to be much closer to what I envision for myself to works towards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:37 PM
23

Aw thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:34 PM
9

I agree. My ex was lower class (like.. extreme childhood poverty) and it was really hard to do anything with him outside of his normal environment. He would freeze up even ordering at a restaurant and he was unable to have a normal conversation with my family. He also resented me expecting him to split bills with me even though he was a grown man. I helped him with a ton of things like finally getting a valid drivers license but there’s no way it could have worked long term. We met at work funni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:08 PM
10

Look up his Twitter beef with Samaria Rice. I basically see him as a scammer now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:00 PM
254

I didn’t grow up with cats and used to think I hated them too because of pick me tendencies and an (emotionally abusive) ex who hated them who I just wanted approval from. We got a cat in November and I’m absolutely obsessed with her. Cats are so interesting and wonderful and she adds so much to my life! I totally agree with your post and I feel bad for my past cat hating ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:22 PM
46

Yep. I’ve noticed in lots of activist circles or social justice based communities that I’ve been around there have been predator men. They use their status as one of the good guys fighting the good fight or whatever but underneath it they’re gross. Look at Shaun king!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:12 PM
9

Yeah exactly. It’s like they’re searching out vulnerabilities and get mad when they don’t find it. I was thinking of the show Big Little Lies and when there’s a flashback of Nicole Kidman’s character initially meeting her abusive husband. She’s telling him how she has no family and his eyes like light up. It’s so chilling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:41 PM
19

Lol it could all be so simple
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:07 AM
24

I love how he’s just nameless lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:28 AM
136

My dad is super handy and helps me out around the house with some pretty big projects. I had a guy neg me about THAT like apparently I was a spoiled pampered princess for having a dad who likes to help me out. I think it’s cause he knew he could never measure up lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:23 AM
170

Yep. Now that we’re nearing 30 though I can see my LVM male peers starting to panic lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:54 PM
14

He is all around perfection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:53 PM
408

They both have amazing hair 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:07 PM
14

I mean yes but it’s not like you’re married to the guy and supposed to be trying to build a life together you know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 01:08 AM
131

Contempt and criticism is the WORST. When it’s coming from someone you love it’s just the absolute most soul destroying thing and for me at least it took me years to get my self esteem back. Fuck anyone who treats their partner that way if you look down on them and hate them so much do them a favor and leave. Of course they never do that though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 07:39 PM
39

Oh my god the exact same situation happened to me. He tried to come back into my life, though. For years I had been picturing his beautiful girlfriend, successful job, yadda yadda. Always internalizing that I wasn't good enough for him and wondering why. The man who tried to come back into my life was an alcoholic chain smoker with bad teeth, who was bitter, miserable and complaining about his job and career like he was some unfortunate victim. He was so desperate. I was like nope lol. They real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:51 AM
26

Same. My ex is far far too lazy and unmotivated to ever go for custody and I am so thankful for that. He's so happy being a single outing once or twice a month type of dad and I'm all for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 06:16 PM
74

This is a living nightmare
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:28 PM
40

Yep. When I had tinder I would match with people I knew sometimes who would only ask me out through the app. It's like they want to know that you are for sure available (i.e. likely to sleep with them) so if they see you on an app they decide to shoot their shot. It's super LV and lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:36 AM
35

This has happened to me a lot. I hate the indirect thing. If you're going to be indirect and not upfront with asking me out you're going to miss your chance 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:26 AM
30

I'm in the same situation. I have family and long term friends who I text throughout the day, it ebbs and flows but that's how we keep in contact. We send each other funny memes and keep up to date on each other's lives and it's important to me to make time for that. When texting does become a problem for me is when I'm dating or seeing someone and it turns into an anxious thing of checking to see if they've texted or whatnot. That's when I know I need to put the phone down!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:25 AM
14

Exactly. In my moments of weakness I just remind myself that giving them attention is what they want and I'm too petty to give them that satisfaction 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:49 AM
84

I love this her vibe is amazing ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:40 AM
6

Damn that looks extremely good and it's also healthy(ish)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 01:07 PM
58

Yep. I dated an extremely ugly guy after my college relationship imploded and I had zero self esteem. I had strong feelings for him despite his looks and put up with SO MUCH of his bs. He would insult my looks, make fat jokes about me, call me a loser, go out on dates with me and expect me to pay for both of us, and flaunt other girls that he was texting in front of me. I'm still so sad I accepted this treatment it was fucked up. He was also a premature ejaculator and our sex life sucked. Litera…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:26 PM
23

The offering a banana part is really cute actually. I know like ONE man who actually makes an effort to eat healthy foods consistently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:11 PM
4

Yep they are totally enablers. I've noticed that they hold a lot of resentment towards the women that date their sons, especially if they have high standards. It's just toxic all around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:08 PM
20

Oh for sure. I was just picturing a long detailed breakdown of Gollum's LV qualities which would be super entertaining, potentially very sad though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:25 AM
28

Also I would absolutely die if one of these is Gollum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:15 AM
28

My child's father was raised by a single mom who never asked him or his dad to do anything. I'm pretty sure the only chore he ever had growing up was taking out the trash. His dad never paid child support and "contributed" by sporadically buying his son expensive toys. When we had a kid he hated that I had expectations for him to help out because he saw his mom do literally everything by herself. I feel bad for her in that respect but I fully blame her for her son's attitude towards relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:10 AM
16

I could literally read these all day thank you for posting this 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:04 AM
15

It's a satire/ parody right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:38 AM
84

Omg that's incredible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:14 PM
22

This is so heartbreaking, their lives were stolen from them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:58 PM
134

Ew why is he smiling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:11 AM
10

My thoughts exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:04 AM
23

It gets worse the more you look at it ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:35 PM
137

Yep and if that happened he could conveniently blame it on the fact she selected it on the app so she was "into it." So scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:25 PM
67

I just really hope no actual women are using this app I have no idea how anything good could come from it. Strangers should NOT know any of this information about you before you even meet. It just totally creeps me out to imagine men on here choosing breath play or golden shower and then just swiping for women to abuse and humiliate. The illustrations are so innocuous too compare with the subject matter. It's just all around super creepy to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:17 PM
33

Hahah I got called a Puritan the other day and I was just like yeah so what? I'll just take it as a compliment 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:08 PM
42

I looked it up and it's a "hookup and casual dating app." Looks like they're paying influencers to market it now cause it's showing up all over my feed. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:06 PM
125

They definitely won't. When my ex and I broke up I wanted to be "friends" so badly because I wanted some connection to his life. My sister knocked sense into me and told me that it was selfish on my part and totally self serving. Mature, HV people recognize when something is over and give each other space to move on. If someone keeps their exes around it's usually for the emotional validation or sex and I've definitely learned this the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:46 PM
1

This is really great advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 03:58 PM
2

Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:08 PM
1

I know it really is. I've been sitting here crying reading all of your comments, it's so heartbreaking to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:43 PM
7

God my dad does the same thing. He has always been kind of fatphobic but now I realize that those jokes have only been directed at fat women. He will also denigrate women who wear makeup or put a lot of effort into their appearance and refer to them as "bimbos." I've started calling him out and letting it be known that it's not okay but it's just really sad to see the sexism coming from the person who raised you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:42 PM
2

God your comment just made me tear up. I want my daughter to have a childhood free of those fears and traumatic incidents but I also just hate that we live in a world full of creepy entitled men. I'm so sorry that those things happened to you. I really don't even know what I'm going to do as she grows older or how I'm going to deal with those feelings regarding her safety. At our family reunion she was sitting on a chair eating while wearing a dress with her legs up and her underwear was showing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:38 PM
34

I love this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:23 AM
27

I've been putting off reading that until I'm in a better headspace but it's definitely on the list. And to be fair it's not that they've done anything untrustworthy I guess it's just that reading this sub and the many instances of male depravity that I've seen on here makes me hesitant to trust any man around my child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:20 AM
14

Agreed that comment felt unnecessary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:22 PM
15

I was in the same boat! I wasn't even fat, I just wasn't one of those skinny, twiggy kids like my siblings were. I had a growth spurt in high school and lost a lot of baby fat but due to many years of disordered eating and body image issues my weight fluctuated a lot and it's something I'll probably struggle with forever. My daughter looks just like I did as a kid and it makes me so sad to think anyone could ever make a little kid feel so ashamed of their body. I'm glad you were able to accept y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:39 PM
240

I'm cynical but I feel like if a man gets his wife pregnant that many times in a short period of time it's kind of a red flag. Pregnancy is so hard on your body and depletes you of so many things each time you go through it. I read that in some cultures it's the norm to wait at least three years between pregnancies so that the woman is strong enough and has recovered sufficiently. I just get a weird vibe from guys who want to pop out so many young kids one after the other, seems like they can't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:26 PM
9

I think it's kind of weird. My ex dated a 28 year old woman who was his TA immediately after graduating at 22. I always felt like the power balance was off and that she saw him as this younger prize, it seemed kind of gross to me. He later told me that he felt the relationship was abusive which I can see. 6 years doesn't seem like that much but I do think age gap relationships like that rob you of a lot of socialization and doing things with your peers since it seems like the young person pretty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:14 PM
20

Well now I'm hungry AND thirsty lol 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:19 PM
36

I'm glad the extended family had the guts to call him out even though his own parents seemingly saw nothing wrong with the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:51 PM
7

No contact is definitely the best. It's so hard the first time you try it but then gets easier and easier each time. I ALWAYS use it now immediately after a breakup and 9 times out of 10 the guy (LVM of course) will pull some desperate shit after a few months or less of not hearing from you. I know it's petty but the satisfaction I get from that is like the fuel for me to finish getting over him 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:32 PM
22

Spent a couple weeks driving hours to see me as "friends" after reconnected, one night we got drunk after my birthday party and made out. The next day he would NOT LEAVE. we spent the day together and afterwards I texted him that I just wanted to be friends (I definitely had that ick feeling after making out with him). He completely flipped his shit and told me he thought we were soulmates lol. Then he tried to solicit friends with benefits. Cue several months of long paragraph texts of him "exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:09 PM
3

Oh I know. I would never trust a priest. I just find it funny that the so called "men of God" are on this list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:43 PM
31

Not clergy 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:50 AM
13

My family paid for my sisters entire wedding. Her father in law was literally only supposed to cover the cost of the rehearsal dinner but he backed out the night before so my parents picked up the tab. i can't help but feel like he basically just won the lottery and lucked out big time by marrying her. His family is wealthy, too, just not generous. It's sad to see how much my family does for him versus how much him and his family do for her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:55 PM
6

He's so hot. He totally gives me pretentious art school vibes but I'm here for it (from afar lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:59 PM
22

Wow he was gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:57 PM
2

Thank you, I need to save this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:49 PM
6

I used tinder on and off when I had moved to new cities and didn't know people yet. I was super vulnerable and should NOT have been on there, nothing good came of it at all. Way better to focus your attention on making a good friend group! The majority of my single friends are on Tinder and I just don't see it bringing them anything good. They are gorgeous women but suffer from low self esteem (like I did) and use the app as like a temporary bandaid. Unrelated but I was hanging out with my guy f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:05 PM
12

I feel like this has happened with like EVERY guy I know in a remotely popular band. They use their "cool status" to treat women like garbage. She's stunning too, the women are always way out of their league. This makes me so mad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:25 AM
17

This is amazing and I love her meme usage lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:05 PM
26

I am attracted to guys over 6 feet so that's what I usually date. They've all been awful lol, the worst are the ones who think you should be pursuing them and bending over backwards to please them. They think they're gods gift to women or something. Still searching for that tall nice guy though 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:54 PM
150

I just looked up Elohim and I guess it's connected to Mormonism/ Latter Day Saints. After listening to the Cold podcast I'm convinced spousal abuse is a huge issue within that community. This is extremely disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:50 PM
87

Yeah. A lot of trash men will agree with this though to get on your good side. Basically trust none of them until they've proven themselves lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:14 PM
8

Jennifer's Body is great. Megan fox is legit hilarious and the teen boys didn't know how to react to that I feel like. They just wanted her to be eye candy like in Transformers. I feel so bad for how her career ended up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:57 AM
31

Midsommar was so triggering to me as someone who went through a lot of trauma and was subsequently phased out and ditched by my emotionally unavailable boyfriend. The scene of Dani grieving was honestly one of the more horrifying ones of the whole movie and it really stuck with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:11 AM
5

They totally know. That's why so many of them keep popping back up to try to absolve their guilt. If you accept their offer of "friendship" or whatever, then in their mind they weren't that bad. But they knew how awful they were being and how much it hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:08 AM
2

It is! I feel like they erode your boundaries. With the more a-hole bro'y guys I've always been able to be upfront about what I need and how that would differ from what they're used to. I would put up stronger walls I guess to protect myself. Feminist guys sneak past all that by pretending they're on your team. Then the abuse just hits so much worse cause you're not expecting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:06 AM
12

Yes this is my ex 100%. He's been in a multi-year on and off relationship with another woman now that has the push-pull dynamic. Guess who he texts whenever they're on a "break?" I can guarantee that he's fucking her life up even more than he did mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:58 AM
37

I like this a lot. Every time I see the phrase "He's just not that into you," my heart sinks a little. Yeah I know it's like the tough truth that I need to face but it's also kind of a blow to my confidence. This is a good way to look at things :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:16 PM
5

I google myself periodically to make sure my information isn't out there. Unfortunately since I own my home my name is connected with my address now on public records. I emailed one website to please remove my info because of a stalker and I was told that I had to provide a restraining order or police report. I'm so upset because this happened years ago and I was naive and never contacted authorities. My stalker STILL pops up randomly to try to follow me from different social media accounts and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:19 PM
53

Yeah that seems weird. I used to go to shows all the time at like age 19-22 and most of the guys in the bands and at the show would be in their late 20s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:26 AM
136

I like how she started at 6 figures though. My ex is more like 4 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:09 PM
51

The other man contestant had such weird body language towards her at the end too. She threatened his masculinity or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:03 PM
83

I think it was really disrespectful too. They clearly wanted to downplay her winning. I've experienced this many times when succeeding in something traditionally male-dominated. Suddenly my achievements didn't deserve any celebration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:02 PM
63

Yes. I got an STD from a casual relationship, and I wasn't sleeping with anyone else besides him. I didn't meet him on an app but I was new in the city and didn't know anything about him besides he was tall, attractive, and seemed really into me. I cut him off right away but the damage was done and then he stalked me for months, it was horrible. The added insult was that he was sleeping around and on apps the entire time. The experience was deeply traumatic and honestly will affect me for life. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:41 PM
63

What an incredible woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:33 PM
18

Yeah they're kind of marketed as losers, everyone on the show is super LV. Dennis is a complete psychopath for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:15 AM
30

The one thing I like about SATC (the show) is that almost none of the guys were presented as HV. The show was way more about the women friendships! Even though Carrie could be kinda LV lol. I really wish she hadn't married Mr. Big in the movies and I choose to pretend that never happened. He was the worst of her many bad boyfriends I think! My fav HV and extremely hot character will always be Smith ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:46 PM
64

This is my eternal struggle! I always get oneitis and it takes me FOREVER to even meet the one guy. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:26 PM
20

Yep. And then treats the next woman he dates so much better than he did Issa. While still texting/ pining after her! He's good looking but he really does suck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:24 PM
46

I say this whenever a guy makes any type of comment that's "off" and they always start squirming and backtracking lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:21 PM
238

I feel like the age negging is usually the biggest and most obvious sign that you're dealing with one of these guys. I'm only 28 and if a guy makes any type of comment about how I look "young for my age" I block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:09 PM
2

That's super interesting. I live in a big city and among people in their 20s "niche" styles are kinda the norm. However as a younger mom that dresses more niche I definitely stand out from the other moms who are mainly in their 30s and would probably be considered more mainstream. It's a constant struggle! Niche moms are usually very cool though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:59 PM
2

Selfishness in women is a radical act so honestly we need to embrace it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:56 PM
102

How would a HVM deal with pulling away? Would they tell you upfront that they're not interested? Otherwise it feels to me like literally every guy does this to me aka the slow fade combined with random pop ups. It's so demoralizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:45 PM
21

I found it to be worth it! But I made sure to choose a hip area where there are also lots of young, artistic people. There are tons of events going on within walking distance of my house and lots of cute hipster guys, haha. The place I lived before was affordable but the neighborhood was a dead zone. I work from home now and being able to walk to coffee shops and cute restaurants is huge for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:34 PM
66

I just had a totally random woman tell me I was selfish after she found out my zodiac sign (Leo). Our kids were just playing together at the park so we had struck up a casual convo! So weird. #7 is real 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:32 PM
165

This is so heartbreaking. One of my friends created an onlyfans during the pandemic and although I've been pretty distant from her for a while now I'm still concerned with how she's doing. I want to ask but it's also hard because I think that she's convinced herself that it's fun and empowering and she would probably get very defensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:52 AM
30

This is super weird. How much time has the 4 year old spent doing makeup to get to that level? It's kind of creepy tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:52 PM
12

He is just perfection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 05:51 PM
147

Thank you for this. This was 100% me as a child and it's really really hard to unlearn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:01 AM
2

Yeah he had a big scandal for having a sex tape with an underage girl when he was 19 or 20 I think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:04 AM
9

Yeah I feel pretty bad for Brendan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:03 AM
8

I will forever love old John Travolta only for the Idina Menzel moment and how much it made me laugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:01 AM
17

Seriously?! Ugh I had a huge crush on Paul bettany. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:00 AM
7

On the other hand Jimmy Fallon is somehow just as cute as ever?? Make it make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:20 PM
130

Not a huge fan of his but compared to the other two Nic Cage hasn't aged that badly lol. Jude law on the other hand, that's a tragedy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:55 PM
18

My aunt and uncle are so HV. They have been married for over 40 years now and you can tell how much they love each other. They are always just so happy, supportive, loving and extremely nurturing whilst also somehow being fun and hilarious. They raised 3 amazing HV daughters who are my cousins and now they are super active in raising their grandkids. Every time I'm around them I just feel so enveloped in love and happy positive energy and they extend that to everyone in their circle. They're my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:21 AM
36

They always do this when you reject them. It's happened to me every single time. Even the "nice" guys will text you some long ass paragraphs about how they "were just trying to be friends anyways" or were in a "really weird place at the time." I always ghost now cause I used to actually internalize some of those confusing stupid messages from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:39 PM
26

Yeah this disgusting man who would hang around my equally gross ex-boyfriend once bragged for so long about how he could get the hottest girls by making them feel like shit. This man looked like kid rock's fugly twin brother. They really think it's a game 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:36 PM
16

Does this apply to women too? I feel like sometimes I struggle to pick up on nonverbal cues. Id like to be better but sometimes I talk so much and am worried I'm destined to be alone forever haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:05 PM
23

Clothing makes such a big difference. I used to wear a lot of low cut stuff and cute dresses. I liked them but I was constantly harassed and followed in public! Now I think that I am objectively better looking, lost weight, better skin etc. but I dress in really non revealing neutral clothes with no makeup. My style is pretty boring now lol. I do get approached sometimes but the sleazy guys are gone which is amazing. If I wear a dress now it's only to wear to an event because I hate that feeling…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:43 PM
203

Exactly. I've seen some women (including my sister) who act like keeping up a home and cooking are like sacred "women's work." Um, okay. If you like cooking that is fine but there's nothing sacred about doing tons of backbreaking domestic labor while your husband doesn't help at all with cooking, cleaning or child rearing. It just kinda screams brainwashing and weird tradwife ideology to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:12 PM
31

This is so sad. Especially when she mentions taking care of newborn twins and a 2 year old all alone. People in the comments have zero empathy and it's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:02 AM
37

She's so beautiful too. She has such a unique badass vibe I love it 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:44 PM
13

I LOVE this song. I feel like Rihanna has always gotten "it." Also the music video is amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:42 PM
41

Ok I'm glad because this is one of my three year old's number one favorite songs and I was feeling slightly conflicted about playing it for her 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:40 PM
29

Awkward hunched over posture
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:20 PM
28

I've always enjoyed doing stuff alone. My friends in high school thought I was a weirdo for not having to have a friend come along to do everything with me but I've always been like that lol. I especially hated when a guy would try to tag along with everything. Half of the time I just want to listen to music with headphones on or read a book by myself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:16 PM
72

I think It's a joke about our current hookup culture but I might be mistaken
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:39 AM
592

Honestly sooo many movies and tv shows depict this as the norm nowadays. For women in their 20s it's really pushed on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:20 AM
8

Guys are so weird about kids. I've had so many men beg me to have their kid when we barely knew each other. Then one even told me that he wanted to have a baby with me that HE could raise by himself. Wtf! I've had maybe one boyfriend that realized the responsibility and lifelong commitment of having a kid (not my child's father, lol) and didn't have some weird breeding fetish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:55 PM
118

Yep. Her tiktok is getting attention and he hates it. Definitely insecure and jealous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:51 PM
7

Yep. The one single dad that I know who is truly responsible and cares about his child's development and wellbeing also got two different women pregnant within the span of two years and is not together with either of them. I know that things happen but to me that's weird. The other single dads I've met around hit on everything that breathes. As a whole they need EXTENSIVE vetting I've found.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:47 PM
6

I was going to say this too. Just being aware and having spaces like this sub means you are so ahead of the game. Knowledge is power! I used to have a lot of the same fears too but now I channel that into providing my daughter with the best set of circumstances for her to thrive. You will do great :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:43 PM
2

True!! The man is so talented. Voodoo is just beyond amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:46 PM
22

This is really cute lol. I want to crash a wedding to eat biryani!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:35 PM
8

Yep. I have experienced a lot of elitism from guys with biology degrees funnily enough. Yes, I can be interested in and love nature too. Stop gate keeping!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:34 PM
61

God, they are always so whiny. There's no chance in hell that a woman could get away with the same level of entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:13 AM
35

Thank you. Honestly the scrote in my case is the easiest part of the whole deal. The worst is that WE shoulder the blame and societal judgment for THEIR failures as parents and human beings. It makes no sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:47 AM
39

Yes I feel the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:45 AM
55

Yep. My thin friends have all had at least one "boyfriend" who was openly hostile or made disparaging remarks about my attractiveness to me. Even my friends couldn't escape their remarks! It was insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:03 AM
4

His eyes are gorgeous 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:18 AM
11

He's only 5'6" too! He represents short men very well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:00 AM
19

Honestly they could not have picked a better Jamie. Him in his wedding outfit? Chills lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:59 PM
46

Sometimes I need to stop watching outlander because I get too sad that I am not Claire 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:45 PM
10

rewatches How to Get Away with Murder for the seventh time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:22 PM
7

Thank you so much for this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:30 AM
143

Yeah I wish I had known this. I made terrible choices that came from extremely low self esteem. Trying to undo the damage done by my child's father which I am scared will haunt me forever. Does anyone have tips? I am afraid that HVM will be repelled by my previous awful choices and that can be really disheartening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:55 AM
22

Small hands are such a dealbreaker for me. Instant turn off 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:26 AM
8

I think a lot of women (me included) are kind of oblivious when a guy wants to talk to us or is hitting on us. I guess when I was younger I internalized that the only guys cold approaching women were creeps, due to being catcalled by older men since I was like 13. I was super insecure and honestly would think every guy was just being friendly so I would usually cut the convos off and go back to my friends haha. It's hard to unlearn those behaviors and to realize that they may actually be interes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:07 PM
2

I have this problem at work. I disagreed with one of the higher ups on how something that I would be working on should be done and suggested a better and more efficient way to do it. The next week I was called into a meeting with HR to discuss my "failure to take direction." He claimed that I had refused to do a task and told HR that it made him very uncomfortable. I doubt it since the whole interaction took place over Slack! Since then he has been openly rude to me and critical of everything I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:30 PM
93

Haha mine too! She even let him drive her car so to him she was an upgrade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:55 AM
63

Oh I have chat turned off! He got angry, punched a hole in my wall and I told him he needed to go that day. He just kinda left. He hadn't helped with any rent in like four months and I think he just knew he had blown it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:52 AM
319

Yep 100%. I was so scared to kick my ex out because I thought he'd be homeless and on the streets. Guess what? He never was. He magically put in the effort to find housing only when he had no other option and I was no longer enabling him and paying our rent. He still doesn't have his shit together but it's not like he's destitute like I thought he'd be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 11:58 PM
63

I have similar feelings too. I just know that I've reached a point that my old self wouldn't even have imagined would be possible and that that is really something to be proud of. So I try to remind myself of that when my thoughts start turning negative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:25 AM
237

Oh my god this is so awful. So they think that having more money entitles them to this for some reason?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:58 PM
25

Thank you! This is amazing. I love your point about taking 2-3 years to pull yourself together. I did this and went back to school, got established with my career, and bought a house! I was not focused on men at ALL and was in fact actively avoiding them. I'm kinda ready to start dating now but I'm so glad that I had that time to get established because me and my kid are in such a safe stable happy space now! I did miss a few years of my 20s but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:00 PM
44

Extreme debt?? This is a joke right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:46 AM
72

Yes this happened to me too. I rejected them and prioritized the people who were with me even when I wasn't "cool." Not gonna lie it felt great haha. They acted like they were doing me a favor too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:06 PM
2

I used to love that song. Major cringe lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:53 PM
20

Same. I actually had more guys chasing me and confessing feelings in high school when I weighed like 40 pounds more than I do now. I was very outgoing and funny then and lost a lot of weight partly due to depression so maybe that was it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:43 PM
163

I know women aren't conditioned to think this way but you should consider your future children too when choosing a partner! Most men don't hesitate to- you want to pass on the best genes to your future children. Not so they can be, like, supermodels, but so that they grow up strong, healthy, have nice teeth, etc. It's important! My daughters father if nothing else is tall, athletic, and has overall great health and naturally great teeth. Edit: this is of course IF you are planning to have childr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:14 PM
13

Haha I definitely had that phase. It's weird because he has a lot of HV qualities but he is so clearly biased against overweight and unattractive women that it extends towards his own children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:10 PM
31

I was an awkward chubby kid too with a sporty, pretty older sister. Funny how I only developed a "relationship" with my dad when I lost weight in college and became more attractive. It really fucked me up for a long time and I tied most of my self worth to keeping the weight off. I'm so sorry that you went through all of that. I wish I could hug our younger selves and reassure them that they have intrinsic value!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:00 PM
22

My dad would always encourage me to go after guys that I liked. His big piece of advice was that I should "bake them a cake" because apparently that would make them fall in love with me on the spot! Thanks, dad. I put this advice into practice once and brought this really cute guy who had fixed my bike for me a cookie while he was working. Obviously I never heard from him again. I'm cringing SO hard remembering this lol. I'm 100% sure him and all the other (super cute) guys working there just la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:57 PM
18

My first boyfriend paid for everything for me for three years. He sucked in a lot of other ways but there was never any question that he would be picking up the tab every time, he said that his dad drilled that into him from a young age lol and that he would always pay for a woman. I did not realize how rare this was though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:11 AM
11

How do you all feel about initiating hanging out with male friends? I know FDS doesn't really approve of male-female friendships in a lot of cases. I have some guy friends that I occasionally ask to hang out and they do the same for me. Is this a bad move?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:55 PM
11

Ew this just made me feel sick to my stomach. Why would anyone ever knowingly do this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:02 AM
159

I once had a male THERAPIST rate me as an 8 out of 10 when I was in college. I was severely depressed and didn't realize at the time how fucked up that was. Men suck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:30 PM
109

Yep. They did not last long after that but he did many other shitty things. It really opened my eyes that being beautiful will not make a man treat you well despite what we've been conditioned to believe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:50 PM
99

Right! She was so sad about it too. He knew she was gorgeous and he was just trying to make her feel like shit about herself, that guy was awful. I was proud of her for dumping him pretty soon after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:47 PM
662

My friend who is model level stunning was told by her boyfriend that she was a "total 9" who could be a 10 if she worked out. Any guy that actually uses numbers ratings and considers that acceptable is trash in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:34 PM
65

Am I the only one who would be stressed having dinner on a date? I grew up in a household where table manners weren't really taught and we mostly just scarfed our food down as quickly as possible. I'm working on it now but I still get SO self conscious eating in public sometimes. I feel like in this situation the guy would be evaluating ME as I hunch over my plate and make a mess lol. I wouldn't even be able to focus on him at all! Edit: I do understand the message behind this though. I'm just n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:04 AM
10

Yeah I always thought that Tenacious D was kinda immature satire more than anything. Jack Black's wife seems really HV and awesome and they look really sweet, I've never heard anything bad about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:58 PM
7

The worst thing is as a kid and young teen I had no idea about this and internalized that I would never be "cool" by comparing myself to these characters! It's so damaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:30 PM
11

Hahaha I came here to say this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:57 PM
13

Ha! They usually don't have a job which gives them even more time to cheat on you while you're at work and they're driving your car around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 06:12 PM
31

I agree with this 100%. I used to get so excited about a guy and tell all of my friends how great he was right away. I never did proper vetting and it always came back to bite me! If I ever need a reality check nowadays I listen to the song Silly by Deniece Williams and it puts me in my place lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:08 PM
9

Yeah it's such bs lol. Especially since he was using all the stuff I showed him to impress the girl he dumped me for 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:46 AM
51

You show them cool new spots or tell them about some music or new thing that you like. Suddenly they're showing this stuff to THEIR friends for clout and not involving you at all. My ex did this all the time, he was such a square when we met and he used me for cool points. I was an "inspiration" for him to creatively mooch off. Never again. Edit: five years after he dumped me he showed back up in my life going on and on about how much I taught him and how he felt I was his soulmate. It honestly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:55 PM
24

It's so awful. My child's father is an embarrassing deadbeat loser but at least he is out of our lives. I feel for these women who have to coparent with these men, I can't imagine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:16 PM
54

Women who had healing abilities and knowledge were a threat to the Church. They could make their own money and gain power and respect on their own and the male priests weren't having it so the "witches" were demonized and killed. I will never trust organized religion to have the best interests of women at heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:37 AM
4

Honestly if you have clean habits kids pick them up from watching you. This is worse than a child lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:53 PM
3

Same. My kid even helps with chores!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:48 PM
2

I will definitely add that to the list! My best friends mom is an artist and growing up she would ALWAYS be playing Bob Dylan. I have a lot of good memories associated with his music. I wish he could have been a HV family man lol but I guess that doesn't really come with the territory 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:07 PM
41

I've been thinking about this so much. During lockdown I've been listening to so much bob Dylan and feeling kinda nostalgic and sentimental. I always like to learn about the artists I like so I'm reading his biography. He had a thing with Joan Baez and then totally ditched her for his "dream girl" who was this absolutely stunning woman named Sara who he married right away and had kids with. He also wrote tons of amazing poetic beautiful songs about her. Guess who he cheated on ALL the time and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:17 PM
49

Wtf is a cisphobic lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:45 AM
95

My twin brother is neurodivergent and he has been coddled by my parents for his whole life. I would imagine that this is true for a lot of men like him. He is extremely entitled and selfish while contributing pretty much nothing in return. My parents bent over backwards and allowed him to treat us all horribly for years out of fear of upsetting him. I would be extremely hesitant to date any neurodivergent men without extensive vetting into their family dynamics etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:40 AM
42

Honestly I would avoid online dating. Too many predators and creeps and it's too hard to vet properly. It's a lot easier to get a sense in person if someone seems off and if you wouldn't want them around your kids. Also a lot of people refer to online dating as a "numbers game" and as a mother who has the time and money to be going on all of those dates. A green flag to me would be someone who treats your kids like humans, respects them and their boundaries, doesn't rush things, and also has sol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:40 PM
11

Hahah I remember watching this as a kid! I thought she was overly obsessed with lotion lol but honestly it works cause she looks incredible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:57 PM
33

My daughter is still pretty young but I've made a big point of teaching her independence and introducing a small amount of "risk" within a safe context. I let her play on her own in our yard, climb on rocks and tall equipment, splash in rivers on her own. I supervise her but I let her kind of guide herself. I really want to instill confidence in her along with a feeling of autonomy. She can explore on her own and take calculated risks that she gets to decide on. However she also knows that I'm h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:49 PM
6

They think it makes them look like James dean or something I swear to god 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:43 PM
2

Haha I'm curious too. I do this while I'm working cause I don't feel like installing a music app on my work computer. And I like reading the comments 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:38 PM
30

Yeah I've had to do this recently with high school friends (insane gossipers who talked shit about everyone) as well as some college friends who it seemed like could NEVER be happy or supportive for me when things were going well. Now I have like 2 HV friends that I can talk to when I need to but it would be great to have a group! I do miss that sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:18 PM
21

I was hanging out with a guy friend a few weeks ago and got a weird feeling and like a message popped into my mind saying "you shouldn't be alone with this guy." He's always been a gentleman to me, he's helped me with things around my house, drives to see me, gave me a guitar that he had laying around. Our relationship has never gone beyond friends though and we know a lot of mutual people who all hang out together. I'm totally trusting my intuition on this one but I'm wondering if I should tell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:54 PM
16

Lol I actually have several of these stick and poke tattoos. My friends in college were a super artsy crowd and a lot of people would do these at parties or hanging out so I don't really think it's a red flag? Maybe if he has multiple homemade knuckle or face tattoos though, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:12 PM
302

Referring to women as females. Also, being weirdly preoccupied with other people's taste in music or movies because it apparently "says so much about them."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 05:04 PM
63

Yes. My paternal grandparents both ate EXTREMELY restrictive diets. My grandfather would openly disparage and mock fat people, but he encouraged my dad to clean his plate at every single meal. My dad and his brothers have all struggled with overeating and eating past being full for their whole lives. My Aunt was encouraged to eat very little and had issues with this. The effects have lasted for multiple generations- me and my sister have both suffered from disordered eating habits our whole live…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:10 AM
13

I got the second dose of Pfizer 10 days ago and I've been bloated, tired, and have been breaking out this week which are usually all signs of my period. It's off, I shouldn't be getting my period for another 10 days or so and mine have always been extremely regular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 08:18 PM
15

My ex did this to me while I was pregnant and we had traveled 13 hours to attend his grandmothers funeral. It was my first time meeting that entire side of his family. I just sat there like a clown while he got drunk and smoked weed with his cousins. I had no way to leave and couldn't even drink to take the edge off. Gah. I think at that moment I really reflected on my poor choices, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:19 PM
58

Right?? He's probably in his 30s too. Just disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:23 PM
107

What the actual fuck. What depraved angry psycho wrote this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:45 PM
3

Oh yeah I'd never do that! I've just had enough guys get butthurt and call me a ball buster that I question if I'm actually doing something low value or if they just can't take what they dish out, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:38 PM
7

That's really funny because a guy friend in high school (in retrospect not a friend at all) called me a sociopath to our mutual friends after I kissed someone that wasn't him. As I've grown up I've realized that they don't play fair at all and is probably IS better to just not engage at all even though it may be less satisfying at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:15 PM
14

Omg what a compliment haha. I'm way more tomboyish but she is goals!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:43 PM
20

Ok I'm not the OP but I really love 90s style for more androgynous look. Josie and Donna from the show Twin Peaks always looked amazing. I love the model Stella Tennant, RIP. I also like 70s looks especially on the men, lol. Lots of jeans and tight t shirts. For more current celebrities I would say Kristen Stewart was my all time fav, especially in Adventureland. I'm sure other people have totally different inspiration but this is who comes to mind for me! Edit: I really liked Jamie's looks from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:59 PM
120

This is what I've been doing kind of unconsciously since college! I've just gravitated to what I thought was cool and tried to avoid trends. Most of the time I dress almost completely androgynously and almost everything I wear is oversized. Funny enough every HV person I've met has loved my style. I feel comfortable and I feel like myself and I could gaf about showing off to men. The one area I do put a lot of effort into is skincare but I feel like it totally pays off and is also a great self c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:00 PM
11

Omg #4 has been true with EVERY one of these men I've had the misfortune to encounter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:30 PM
9

Small town dicks was so good but I had to stop listening to that and other true crime podcasts for my sanity. I was afraid to interact with any men at all for like a full year lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:34 AM
10

Wow I was not expecting this video to hit me like this I'm literally bawling. They were such a beautiful couple!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:09 AM
159

I noticed that he is given a lot of leeway due to his traumatic upbringing. It does sound horrific but imagine how many women and girls were in the same or worse situations as children and AREN'T out here causing the amount of pain and destruction that he did throughout his life. That being said he was able to channel this inner rage really effectively into his music, he was really talented. It's a shame that people are going to overlook how badly he treated his kids and the women in his life th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:40 PM
5

I should really do this but I love reading Wikipedia biographies way too much when I like an artist. Case in point: DMX. In all fairness though I haven't listened to him since I was an angry teen but obviously he's all over the news now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:55 AM
67

That is interesting. Personally after watching the documentary I can't stomach listening to R Kelly at ALL and I used to really love his music. It wasn't hard for me to make that decision, there are plenty of other good musicians out there. Also I feel like I could only do this in good faith if I wasn't exposing other people to his music who might be triggered. I guess the point I was trying to make is it's just weird for me that someone can sing so sincerely about feelings and love to the point…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:41 PM
118

Ugh I have been thinking about this so much lately. Especially with many "great" musicians who were cheaters, abusers, etc. I listen to their music and it sounds so passionate and soulful (like, for example, James Brown) but then in real life he was beating women and dating teenagers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:07 PM
1

I agree with those who commented that feeling clean and grooming/skincare is what makes me feel beautiful. My style is extremely tomboy and androgynous and even though I'm straight I feel like this puts off a lot of men. I've tried performative femininity and while I somewhat enjoyed the stares and attention (emphasis on somewhat- it was also really invasive at times) I feel so much more comfortable with no makeup and "masculine" clothing that hides my body. Funnily enough my HVM ex was extremel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:22 AM
4

God I wish I had known this in my early 20s. But so many of my friends still see no problem with it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:20 PM
59

This is an excellent post. For me the unwanted social attention was awful. As a very introverted person I felt so on display and exposed while pregnant. I was lucky to have very few physical problems but this was something I struggled with a lot and which makes me hesitant to have more children in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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