AkibaPrime Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
18	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success.	Fundamentals	AkibaPrime	/r/seduction	15/07/24 07:30 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Ah I see. Yeah, I definitely have to stay in touch with the reality that even if I put in the work and improve, it may not result in anything dating-wise. Personally, I just feel like I've missed out on a piece of life and want to experience it before it's too late.	/r/seduction	19/07/24 09:57 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Your wording is a little confusing. Are you saying you actually did those things, or you just think they wouldn't help?	/r/seduction	19/07/24 08:20 PM
2	At what point can you actually be your genuine self in a relationship? I'm a lot like you bro, I'd love to have that "ride or die" relationship you describe. But the reality is, those platinum quality women are super rare. You can choose to wait for one, but you might be waiting a long time if you find one at all. That's just the sad truth of modern women.	/r/seduction	18/07/24 07:30 PM
3	She fell into my lap Damn, you got the green light multiple times and you just stayed on the street in park with her honking at you to get a move on. I'd give my left nut to be in that position. Good luck next time!	/r/seduction	18/07/24 07:10 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Yeah, persistence is key. I've learned at least that much. I think my best play is to work on myself and try and avoid my sinking spells. I need to get out there and do stuff, even if it's just going out to a restaurant to eat at first. I definitely need to try and find activities or whatnot as well. It's going to be a mountain of work, but if I want to find anyone I've gotta start doing something different. I'm sorry to hear you grew up in a less than stellar household, I definitely know what i…	/r/seduction	18/07/24 06:49 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. It's funny, I had a therapy session this morning and she basically said exactly this post. Break the process into small steps in order to not get overwhelmed. It's a lot, for sure. I missed out on a LOT in the years where it was much easier to develop new skills, and here I am trying to wedge new thinking into the cement block that is my adult brain. lol. I'm late to the party, but not too late hopefully. It's gonna take more work and time than I want, but I have no choice but to try or just say…	/r/seduction	18/07/24 06:46 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I reckon the fact that you are aware is great, because that means the power to change is now in your hands. It may take you a tad longer than others, but you can still get to where you wanna be, compared to someone who's 55 (for example) who will have a much harder time and lesser options. Agree. It's not ideal for find myself here at 39 but better late than never. I feel like mindset is important but also not giving my power away. One mistake I think I make is, I think I give my one IRL friend …	/r/seduction	18/07/24 06:41 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. there's likely a form of anxiety sitting deep down inside. But the way you described it in your comments, about how you just mentally shut down, there's something subconscious that holds you back. It could and likely is a series of negative self beliefs Oh yeah for sure. I had really bad social experiences with my K-12 peers and my mom had major trust and social issues herself. I was definitely set up to fail at this. I am trying to unlearn these but it's very hard. Regardless of whether you are…	/r/seduction	17/07/24 05:02 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. There's no way I could get away from my job and home for that long. I do okay for myself but not okay enough to just walk away from my life, or bring some foreign girl over and support her completely. I've been to Japan a couple of times for some music shows and tourism. I had some fun there, but I paid for it. I didn't mind my experiences there since it was regulated and safe(r). I wanted to try some regular clubs and whatnot on my second trip since I heard if you're white the odds are tipped i…	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:55 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. It's possible. There are no guarantees with this stuff.	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:52 AM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. That's fair, I can't rebuke what you've said. I just feel like if I take too much longer I will be even more unattractive, which is a real possibility, but it's not like I can stop myself from aging, so yeah. And as a guy who tends to prefer younger women, kinda stings to know I'm getting more and more locked out of that possibility.	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:47 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I think there is huge value in this post and the examples provided give me some context that I sorely lack otherwise. It's going to take me a while to digest all this info, but I just wanted to say for now I greatly appreciate you taking the time to put this together for me. Seriously. I worry about my ability to implement, but at least I have something quality to try and squish into my brain.	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:44 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. A fair yellow flag on this for sure, but it would at least get me to finally do it. Seeing how much these sessions cost on top of the travel, it would definitely incentivize me to make the most of it.	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:42 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. The right Coach and save up the right cash. Some quick Googling earlier, I saw that a weekend of this costs around 3k, which is a huge investment for me. It's not impossible, though.	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:42 AM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I had a phase last year where I started to regularly do some stuff in our workout facility at work. It was just 15 minutes on the treadmill, some bench press and one other multi-purpose arm machine. I didn't get ripped or anything, but I started to feel better and heavy things like laser printers were noticeably lighter. It was kinda nice. I quit doing it and I regret it. I had a severe mental breakdown in the fall and lost 20 pounds when I quit snacking because I was too lethargic to even try t…	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:35 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Thank you, I will study your words and see what I can do to implement them. It really sucks, because I do have pockets where I feel like I am more open, mainly with what I'd consider my one IRL friend and his girlfriend. When I met her early on, she made some dirty jokes about her bf in front of me, and that made me feel "Safe" around her. I am more myself with them than anyone else, and when I am open with them, they are constantly laughing and claim to love my company. How true that is only th…	/r/seduction	17/07/24 04:09 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. So, just do it. Thing thing I've never been able to do, that causing me so much anguish... just do it anyway. Sigh. I wish it were that simple for me. I know it should be, but it just... isn't.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 10:56 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I don't know how to exercise properly. I've tried but I don't know what to do and what I try doesn't help. I tried weights for a few months and saw no gains. I'm probably not lifting enough or doing enough, I don't know. The best I've been able to do is go to an old track and walk a mile and a half, I try to do it four days a week and recently, it's been too hot to do so during the day. I want to get a bike so I can cycle over there and start doing it again during later hours. It's easier right …	/r/seduction	16/07/24 09:52 PM
1	I panicked and ran away when the girl I like flirted with me Me and so many men would KILL for a girl to be this forward. If you like her, just be honest man. Be honest and have fun with it. Whatever is holding you back PLEASE don't let it continue. I'm nearly twice your age and have gotten nowhere with women. Shoot your shot dude, she's practically bringing the basket down to your level and this is SUPER RARE now. Message her right now.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 09:44 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I don't approach strangers, as I've said I, at least in my mind, simply can't. As for putting myself into social situations where it's a possibility, it's hard to put it into numbers. Not daily, not weekly, I'd say maybe a few times I month I try to "go out". If there is a convention catering to my interest, I try to go usually.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 09:22 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. So the solution for me being unable to approach and talk to people is... approach and talk to people. Sigh. I get what you're saying but I don't understand how you think I am supposed to implement it. I do make small talk with coworkers and whatnot but it never leads anywhere meaningful.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 03:55 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I think your point is fair, but I just don't feel at 39 that I have a lot of time to be "patient" with this. And like I said in OP, I have dabbled in the "pay for play", and it was not a pleasant experience. It was empty, and I felt gross for months.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:59 PM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Honestly, this doesn't seem like the worst idea. I'm very concerned I would completely lock up, and it is a large investment for me, but at least it would be hands-on and working on what I really want to work on, not more "working on myself" beating around the bush.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:51 PM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I've tried... it doesn't help.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:50 PM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Please don't take this as any kind of personal attack, but I hate being told this. This is what a LOT of people say, some version of "work on yourself." I've spent so long working on myself and I'm kinda tired of it, I need to get out there already. I'm 39, not 19. I don't want to take more time and end up finally someone's version of "ready" years from now when I'm too tired to even enjoy going out and my man parts don't want to work when the time comes. I understand what you're saying but I'm …	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:49 PM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Indeed, I can easily connect at least some of my troubles to my upbringing. My mom was alway distrusting of people. All it took was one tiny mistake and it would break friendships in her eyes. She always gave me the conflicting message of "try to make friends, but remember people are awful and you can't really trust them". She never said that outright, but that was her overall message I assembled. I had no father figure at any point in my life. I also had a shitty social experience in K-12 educa…	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:40 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I don't really know what else I can do without support. The few quasi-friends I have, won't go out with me to somewhere like a bar or what have you to wingman me onward, they only want me to be the third-wheel to their couples activities. I can't just conjure up people to socialize with. I try at work but it's idle small talk at best. I've pushed myself to the point it's made me sick, but I still can't move.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 01:55 PM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I’m supposed to just give up my career and sell my home so that maybe I’ll have better dating odds? That’s really extreme and a lot of sacrifice for a low-end maybe. Thanks for your suggestions.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 04:11 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. If you can find anyone in the Lubbock area you’d be my hero. I have searched. And if I can’t even make friends, how do you expect me to find someone invested enough to help with my problems?	/r/seduction	16/07/24 03:50 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I'm SOL then because there's not exactly a "wingman4rent" marketplace.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 03:32 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. How have you tried? I've tried going to conventions aligning to my interests, the bar scene, and "putting myself out there", but as you can read in my other replies and my OP, I don't approach. I just go blank and never do it. It's foreign to me completely. No matter how much I read about approaching, give myself grave, pep my self up, whatever, I just... can't do it. When was the last time you said something to a woman? You mean outside of a work context, or forced interaction like checking out…	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:45 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I disagree at least partially. She did a lot to help me through processing my mother's death, but the social stuff is definitely hit and miss.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:31 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. And what about funds? Do you have money to spend on a coach if you wanted to go in that direction? Likewise with this. You can't approach strangers because of severe social anxiety, or...? I guess it could be called social anxiety. I don't know how to describe it other than I simply can't approach. Approaching a stranger is just alien to me, and when I think about doing it somewhere, my mind and body just stop responding and go blank. The only way I can approach people is with some pre-existing …	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:30 AM
1	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I can't do it. I tell myself all the time to just go for it, what's the worst that could happen, it's the only way, etc. and my body never moves. I literally never do it. Unless someone sets up something for me, it just never happens. My mind goes blank and my body stops responding.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:18 AM
3	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. what are you currently doing about it? I know you said therapy. But, what have you tried in terms of meeting women? Have you gone out anywhere? Tried online dating? Ever approached a girl cold? I tried going to some of the comic con-like things in the area to try and put myself around like-minded people(I have some hobbies in that realm), and this has not been helpful because I don't approach or see social opportunity. Everyone is doing their own thing and I just don't see a chance to do anythin…	/r/seduction	16/07/24 02:14 AM
3	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. I hope and pray you find your way out of it.	/r/seduction	16/07/24 01:50 AM
2	Years of self-help and some therapy later, I still can't approach or find any social success. Yeah, I'm familiar with Japan through hobbies and some pole I know who live there, very familiar with the NEET/Hikikomori concept. I don't think I fall into quite a dire category, as I am at least able to hold down a job and keep my finances in line. However, my performance at work would likely be much better if I wasn't throwing away energy dwelling on all this social stuff regularly. I can't talk to them. I never approach. I have never cold approached a woman before with romantic/sexual intent…	/r/seduction	16/07/24 01:49 AM
3	Stop Texting Women This was an interesting read. I'm not on dating apps at the moment but when I have been in the past, what matches I did get fizzled out. My error? I tried to build rapport through text, and it never worked. The conversation would just die out, possibly because I was just another pile of pixels on her screen trying to oversell myself and/or there was no point meeting/dating because she already knew it all. Reading this post, it makes good sense.	/r/seduction	06/02/24 03:13 PM