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View 5 posts and 1,637 comments by AlmostKindaGreat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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This is mostly nailing it. Women don't like emotionless robots, despite what some RP guys might say. Pretending you're perfect is not truthful so it will come off as inauthentic. They certainly don't want the hurt, prickly feel or tears to go with or the absolute death-knell: The feeling that she somehow has to absolve him from this. Absolutely. I think this is basically the test for whether you want to share something with a woman who you want to remain attracted to you. Are you asking her to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:05 PM
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I think it's good that you put the word "careful" here. Men have to be very careful about this. There is an art to disclosing the right amount, in the right way, to not risk a woman losing attraction for him. I tend to say men should reveal weakness to their therapist first to start healing and understanding. Then go to your girlfriend/wife when you have a handle on it and are on the path to resolving it... but still be careful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 08:26 PM
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First of all, being friend with no purpose of dating anyone help you have clarity about how women think. Yes, in the sense that you will observe what actually attracts them to men. I think this is what you're trying to say... though I'm not sure. Still take what they say with a grain of salt. It will usually be a sanitized version or they will give relationship advice when you actually asked for attraction advice, a common pitfall. Secondly, you would recieve advices about what you're wearing, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:31 PM
1

We have to separate the concepts of "love" and "desire". I believe most women are capable of loving certain men unreservedly without tying that to performance. By that I mean genuinely caring for them as a family member, friend, or other platonic relationship. But I don't see women's desire for men ever not being tied inextricably to performance. The biological and cultural forces are too powerful to overcome. I have some beef with the term "patriarchal" being tied to this, because patriarchy is…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 08:58 PM
3

If she likes you, just about any way you reveal that you like her will be "the right way" and she will be glad you decided to shoot your shot. You would have to do something extremely strange to turn her yes into a no. If she doesn't like you, nothing you do will turn her no into a yes. She may also feel awkward that she has to reject you. There is no "right" way to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:31 PM
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I like this. Lots of thoughtfulness in this post. Have you ever felt the need to elevate your sexuality to impress a woman? How did you up your game? Apart from direct sexual techniques, it's somewhat surprising to me how quickly women lose interest unless a man introduces some kind of sexuality into interactions. I mean flirting, mostly, with socially calibrated but steady escalation of the overtness of sexuality. A man has a brief window on the first date to do this or she cuts off the date wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 09:11 PM
1

Well, how important it is depends on the individual woman, right? Maybe it's extremely important to her that she thinks you're great at sex. Maybe it's not too much at all. For the average woman I think it matters at least somewhat to her satisfaction in the relationship. Now, as far as being her "best" I think I agree with the spirit of this. There's no sense in a man worrying about it. Do your best to blow her mind sexually and forget about everything outside of your control. Obviously you sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:18 PM
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I like women who actually desire me. You're focusing on the sex part, the actual act of having sex. Sure, that's part of it. However, the most important part is feeling desired. Willingness and eagerness to have sex with me is the evidence of desire, which is the most important part to me. To clarify the idea, I would like a woman who truly desired me but could only have sex with me occasionally for some reason (health condition? traveling for work?) more than woman who was willing to have sex w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:36 PM
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I don’t care about size of labia. Neither large nor small is easier or more enjoyable. A larger clit is easier to find but I’ll find it regardless. Girls taste different. I haven’t noticed a huge difference or anything particularly bad. Probably nothing to worry about if you’re thinking that. Recently cleaned is nice IMO but you’ll find guys who even disagree on that. I prefer shaved because it feels fully “nude” and I can see and touch all my lover’s nice flesh. It feels erotic to me. But other…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:00 AM
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Do women sometimes ignore red flags because a guy is hot? Yes. Do women sometimes go into a situation knowing they could be "played" but are kind of ok with it because he's hot? Yes. But if a man (or anyone) lies or intentionally deceives he is still to blame, at least partially. Does it bother you when women (or men) don't take responsibility for their actions? It should. The response shouldn't be "I won't take responsibility for my actions either!" It should be "I will be better than that, tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 08:15 PM
1

Sounds like you’ve been dealing with some real dumbasses. I would hope these would be pretty obvious and easy to agree with you on. I’d be interested in some examples with more ambiguity, where there could be some merit to the guy’s claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 06:58 PM
3

I don't think people generally care about anyone they don't know. This applies to men or women. The difference is that men are perceived less positively and less sympathetically than women, by women especially but also men. The studies showing this have been thrown around here a lot. This seems very clear from existing as a man. If someone becomes aware of you, you're not going to be liked by default and you have to earn that by being useful, like you said. Sympathy is hard to come by. Obviously…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:00 AM
2

People overthink this so much. Biology explains the phenomenon almost entirely. Men have about 20x of the hormone primarily responsible for producing sexual desire. This causes involuntary, undirected, spontaneous sexual desire almost constantly. It intrudes on thoughts and must be dealt with in some way. Either acting on it or consciously trying to suppress it to get on with your life. This lessens with age but is still much greater than it is for a typical woman. It really boggles my mind. I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:40 PM
1

To answer the question, I think the dictionary definitions serve just fine. Sexualize - imbue a person, object, or concept with sexual character, or to view/treat them in a sexualized manner Objectify - to treat a person as an object, tool, or commodity rather than a human being with feelings and rights. It involves reducing someone to their physical appearance, sexual appeal, or a specific utility. I think the term "objectify" is useful mostly in an academic sense. I believe it is worthwhile to…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:02 PM
1

In a society where everyone is free to choose whichever mate they desire, it’s not a good situation when there is so much more desire for women from men than for men from women. This is bound to cause a lot of people to be unhappy. There aren’t enough men who are desired by women to go around. Is there anything to be done about it? Is there anyone to blame? Not really. It just is. Maybe some kind of cultural change could make more women like more men but it would have to happen organically and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:38 AM
3

There is clearly social pressure to be sexually successful as a man, but I've always found the dominant factor to simply be the constant spontaneous sexual desire in biologically typical men. If you don't have access to sex it's a curse. I'm sure you've experienced it. This makes sure sex and how to get a romantic companion for sex is never far from our minds. If women had these biological urges with the same intensity and frequency they'd feel the same way. This is mostly to quibble about the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:41 PM
0

Of course I want to be sexually objectified. Sexually harassed? Of course not. We should be careful to keep the concepts of objectification and harassment distinct. They get all blurred and mashed together in this post. We should also not assume the objectification inevitably leads to the harassment. Men and women lust over (sexually objectify) sexy people on TV or walking down the street all the time. Women go to see Magic Mike type male dancers and sexually objectify the fuck out of them. Is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:45 PM
2

I disagree with the "just as often" part but agree with the basic idea. I sympathize with women on this. Both types of rejection are painful and disappointing. There isn't really a right answer as to which one is "worse". It depends on how an individual reacts to it. Personally I'd prefer the average women's experience over the average man's experience. Why? Because you at least "get in the game". You get to go on dates, practice interacting, work out what you like and don't like, get some exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:55 PM
3

Most of this is pretty obvious. I'll just call out one thing. Writing in “Dont want anything serious” in their profile and then trying to bother women who do want something serious. Both parties have to swipe right to match. So if the woman only wants something serious and matches with a man who wants something not serious then she is bothering him just as much as he's bothering her. It takes two to tango. I'm not looking for anything serious but I sometimes swipe right on women who have relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:36 PM
1

I think anybody should enjoy any kind of porn they want, including dark romance novels. My only issues are with the discourse surrounding this, namely... Claiming it's not porn and denying that overuse/fixation can affect relationships like any other porn. That the desires reflected in this material are widespread yet there is resistance to claiming they even exist in other contexts. In other words, these books indulge in some very not Blue Pill concepts but trying to suggest these desires exist…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:29 PM
1

Conventional wisdom is that men are purely shallow and don’t care about anything deep or meaningful. Conventional wisdom is that women are not shallow and only care about things that are deep and meaningful. This is why we have to convince men that women are also shallow and tell them to looks max. Conventional wisdom on women is shifting somewhat over the last decade so men are more aware, but it’s hard to shake this idea. One thing that has never been questioned in any time, place, or culture …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 07:30 PM
13

If you're saying men are more likely to be sensitive to it then I agree with that. I'm just saying that women have so much more interest that it more than compensates for it and gives them more options in the end, either from men who don't mind or men who compromise in that area. (Or men who don't know - I'm not in the habit of asking n-count and I don't know how common this is)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 07:30 PM
1

My personal take is that as long as the sex worker is not being coerced into sex work then I'm fine with the practice, on both sides of the transaction. I've not actually hired an escort or researched this topic, but I'd say for anyone who does that it's the moral thing to do to reasonably assure yourself that the sex worker is not being trafficked or otherwise coerced into what they are doing. You use the term "escort", so that seems more safe. I hate to classify people this way, but the more "…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 07:12 PM
40

Older women have way more interest than the equivalent man. High n-count women have way more interest than the equivalent man, regardless of his n-count. Guys who love to trash women because of either of these things are probably sexually frustrated or insecure. They need a revenge fantasy to assure themselves that it "all evens out in the end" or something. Lots of guys have it tough but these ones are not coping with it in a positive way. It's a very online thing, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 07:01 PM
5

I'm happy to acknowledge uncomfortable truths that are unwelcome in mainstream discourse (Blue Pill). Lots of women are brutal with their judgements of superficial attractiveness of men. Men have it hard when it comes to developing romantic options and guys who are short or otherwise not blessed with the physical characteristics that women like have it really hard. Yeah, some guys will be filtered out by 95% of women. He can give up if he wants but I say he should still make sure he has a chance…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:32 PM
2

If you ask it in a context where it basically sounds like "Are you a filthy slut?" then women aren't going to like it, obviously. In the same way, if a woman just point blank asked me "Are you one of those toxic men?" on a first date, I'd walk out since she probably hates men and definitely has zero tact.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:00 PM
39

Men don't have many options and the ones they have usually aren't apparent. An average man sees a quality or two he likes in a woman and he gets excited and pursues her. Women have more options than they know what to do with. They have to aggressively filter down to a manageable number. When an average women notices a deficiency in one of the categories you mentioned, she crosses him off the list in her mind. Dressed slovenly? Next. A little chunky? Next. Groomed poorly? Next. Bad haircut? Next.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:33 PM
1

I'm not making assumptions about you. I'm only saying that I think humor and charisma are attractive, or can be. But I agree that kindness has nothing to do with attracting women. It's complicated because aspects of charisma work together to create a holistically attractive man, in the eyes of women, and no one factor explains it. To your point, women saying humor is the most attractive thing to them is generally overstated. What they really like is a socially skilled, high status, likely good-l…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:44 PM
1

Yeah, absolutely. I have developed good instincts around whether a woman is willing and enthusiastic at each step in the process. I usually only ask for verbal consent in the middle of sex, when I'm thinking about doing something not "standard". I can tell if a woman feels a little hesitant or if your enthusiasm level dropped and when that happens I stop and check in with how she's doing. I'm not sure when the last time was that I got a verbal "no", if ever, because I don't put women in the posi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:47 PM
1

Consent is boring for everyone and a turn off for a lot of women. But I’d rather women just say it’s boring rather than lie and say it’s sexy. Even if it is a turn off I’m glad this isn’t widely advertised because I don’t want men to get the idea that they shouldn’t get consent. That’s bad for everyone. It’s like when some women say doing chores is sexy. This is just a manipulative lie and I don’t want to hear that either. Both chores and consent are boring but necessary things that we all have …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:12 AM
2

Kindness builds comfort, not attraction. It's necessary for a relationship (generally) but is mostly irrelevant for creating sexual desire. Ok, humor and charisma. These are more complicated. Women want to see these exhibited in a way that indicates high status. You can be the funniest person a woman knows but it won't translate to attraction without accompanying signals of status. Funny but not attractive A man who is funny but who has developed this humor to ingratiate himself to others is not…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 08:23 PM
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Right, right. I agree with that. Fitness is a consistent interest in my life and has been for over a decade and I believe it's healthy (physically and mentally) for everyone. I was thinking about a sudden interest in getting lean/fit in the post-breakup mindset of proving (to yourself or others) that "you still got it" or even a sort of "revenge" against your ex. That... may not be a technically healthy response. Haha Nonetheless, my lifestyle of maintaining a high degree of fitness was motivate…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 07:09 PM
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Those are the last places the fat comes off but yeah, that's a pretty low weight at your height to still have visible fat there. Due to your genes you probably need to work harder than some other guys would to build up muscle (while still staying fairly lean) and get rid of that skinny fat look. They say that short guys have an easier time putting on muscle but I'd still take being as tall as you and having a harder time putting it on. That's just how I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:33 PM
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I have no idea if getting fit and hot after a breakup is technically good for long-term mental health, but it sure feels good for me 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:27 PM
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If there is equal desire going both ways then it works. Like often with two obese people who feel like they're both getting their best options. That does not seem to be the case here. She suggests she did truly desire other men. She felt that "physical spark" before and does not feel it with her husband. She spells it out with "I'm definitely capable of feeling sexual attraction, bit it just wasn't there as much for me." We don't hear his side but, reading between the lines, I will guess the des…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:20 PM
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You seem to be suggesting that a man who likes a fuck around is good relationship material but a woman who likes to fuck around is not. I don't agree with that. But I would say that the skills ("game") that enable a man to get casual sex are the same ones that are applied throughout a relationship to keep a woman interested long term. Getting those down beforehand helps a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:07 PM
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Sluts are great. I don't consider it an insult. It's just a woman doing what she wants. I'm kind of a slut myself. Then again, most men like to have a lot of sex if they can get it. "Man slut" is almost redundant lol so there's not too much point in saying it. how could all this hatred stem simply from the fact that it’s easy for women to have sex but not men? Yes, I think so. It's envy that women can get whatever they want, at least sexually. Most women can get it immediately, from as many men …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:50 PM
3

If you consider "game" to be little tricks and stupid lines then no, you don't need to do that. But you need to demonstrate attractive behaviors sometime. Every man should be aware of what attractive behaviors are for a man and consider those "game". If you're acquaintances and have some time to get to know her, you can take your time. But if you're on a date you have maybe a few hours to build attraction and develop sexual tension. If you fail to do this you will likely get an "I didn't feel a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 02:12 AM
2

Ha it's true. I wouldn't be surprised to see this title. Maybe a little fringy and self-published but with some fans.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 10:58 PM
6

I came to the off topic comment thread specifically to point out what a work of absurdist art this phrase is. 💯 The 800ml was a good cherry on top and oddly specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 10:18 PM
1

I want a woman who is intelligent, which often manifests itself with wittiness and a good sense of humor. Someone who is always cracking jokes like they're practicing a comedy routine with me grates on me eventually, man or woman. I like to be playful and goofy often, but as an exchange. The best is to be able to have a clever, humorous repartee with a woman at any time and sometimes get silly. I like a capable, professional woman so we have more in common. I don't care if a woman contributes 5 …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 07:40 PM
2

Yeah, I think this is an important concern. I aim for a good experience that will leave both of us glad we had it. If I could see the future and know someone would regret it or consider it even a lightly negative experiences I would not go through with it. I certainly never want to manipulate someone into doing something they are unsure about or lie to trick them into it. What was the impact for the other person involved? Rest of their day? Week? The rest of their lives? So yeah, I can't know. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 11:53 PM
2

Maybe so for other men. I don't relate to a lot of other men's fixation on youth. I think a lot of women are just as hot, or even hotter sometimes, at 35 than at 20. So this is admittedly calibrated to my tastes. But I think other men have wife goggles and that covers the gradual changes of age. Maybe if she aged 20 years overnight that would be a shock but when it happens slowly the expectations adapt to what you're accustomed to. I think it works this way somewhat for women. They have a fondne…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 09:23 PM
12

Men find way more women attractive than women find men attractive. This means that men are rarely settling for women, when it comes to physical attraction, relative to how many women are settling for men in this way. Also, "wife goggles" are a real thing. I've definitely experienced girlfriend goggles. If I'm in love and in a relationship then she has that extra glow that others can't see. This counteracts aging or "letting herself go" to a large extent and prevents men from feeling like we're s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:09 PM
5

Can you have an impactful conversation with someone you met 30 minutes ago? I have. I have had deep, meaningful, vulnerable, even intimate conversations with people who I just met that day. Things that have stuck with me for the rest of my life. I believe almost all human interactions can be this way, including sex. I don't believe you need X months/years/whatever building familiarity before you can connect with another human in a meaningful way. Not with talking and not with sex. I agree broadl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:35 PM
3

In my opinion men cold approaching is just not hip anymore, it went the way of the dinosaurs, our best bet is to just go out a lot, meet people in the places you often go to. Back then it was church until you guys went all atheist on us, now your best bet is to find women in the areas you’re already passionate about or ask to be set up by friends. I don't disagree that "warm approaching" someone you have someone in common with and have spent a little time around should be the bread and butter of…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:02 PM
0

on a lizard brain level the idgaf dude wins as he is the one who comes across as being comfortable in his own skin rather than someone stressing over becoming a better version of himself What if a man is not comfortable in his own skin? Should he just accept it and be unattractive for the rest of his life? I say no. Fuck that. He should do whatever it takes to figure out why he lacks confidence and why he cares so much what others think, deconstruct that, and develop more healthy and attractive …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 05:49 PM
1

This has also been described as a misandrist attitude because it considers men’s sexuality to be defiling and men in general to be defilers. Similar idea to what you’re saying. I agree with it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 11:28 PM
1

I'm not really arguing anything. This was just to ask whoever is reading whether or not they think it is "reasonable" to expect someone to go without having certain desires, that most humans have, fulfilled in a romantic relationship. I say "reasonable" because it's ultimately subjective. I believe most people would say emotional connection is reasonable to expect. I agree with this. It's also a culturally understood minimum. So my comment was asking whether you have a different attitude about s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 07:17 PM
15

Let's flip this around to what women commonly say they lack in relationships with men. Do you feel the same way when you read this? If you perceive these pieces of text differently, why? -- women are mad they dont inspire desire for emotional connection. but is the solution not so simple? the solutions to everybody's dissatisfaction is so simple. the solutions are a dignified solitude with no partner. or a partner that you know is not interested in you emotionally but perhaps you like them and e…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 08:48 PM
1

You nailed it by acknowledging that women will almost always confine themselves to indications of interest that have plausible deniability. So unfortunately this means that you always have plausible doubt that it's romantic interest you're receiving and not just friendliness. That's the whole point, after all. And so it sucks. You just have to develop emotional intelligence and intuition, play social cues detective for a while, and eventually take the leap and make your intentions known explicit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 09:58 PM
2

I wish I had an award to put on this comment
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 09:53 PM
1

I felt bad for Riley when no guys picked her. I thought she seemed pretty cool. I don't like seeing any innocent person sad. But does this really prove that men only want bimbos? There are a lot of reasons the guys may not have picked her. She went first so maybe they wanted to hold and see what the other women sounded like. Her hobbies are expensive - scuba diving, international travel, skiing. If a guy doesn't have a lot of money he could worry about being able to share experiences with her. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 08:07 PM
1

I agree with the basic idea here and I live by it. You never ask a woman for pity. It comes across as weak, which is the worst thing a man can be in a woman's eyes. I also basically extend this to anything emotional. Asking for empathy, understanding, sensitivity, or ultimately love is basically like negotiating desire. She will either want to give these things, and give them freely, or she won't. A man can only give feedback about what he likes and doesn't like, state needs and boundaries, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 07:40 PM
–

I sure as hell wish BP was true. It would mean we live in a truly Just World where character alone determines one's outcomes. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 10:11 PM
4

(part 3) Maybe there's hope But I believe this is getting better. There are signs that more and more people are open to a male-positive message on the left. This may be out of panic and desperation, but hey, that's ok with me. We are desperate for something to change and actually start winning elections again. I'll leave you with a couple links to writers who talk about this very issue. You may have to dig back to articles from around the election to find things about this topic. They've talked …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:22 PM
3

(part 2) Signs that this is broken I don't know where you're from, but I'll be US-centric for a bit here. Hopefully anyone not from the US can still follow. There was an infrastructure bill that passed during the Biden administration. The main idea was to maintain and improve infrastructure and create jobs. Pretty uncontroversial, right? Not completely... It was called sexist and criticized for this before and after passage. Why? Because it was expected to create more jobs for men than for women…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:22 PM
4

To answer your question, no women saying they don't want sex with men is not alienating men. It makes me a little sad that you're asking me that, as if I could defend this kind of unhinged internet raving. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised because there are some guys who suggest or outright say things like this on PPD or elsewhere but if I'm being suspected of aligning with these edgelords I wonder how badly communication is breaking down. To address the other part, no, for me it's not about …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:22 PM
10

It's not just about personal self-esteem. You keep restating that verbal negativity about men has no consequences and verbal negativity about women has "real" consequences. A society is built on a sense of mutual respect and cooperation. If people feel they are not receiving this they disengage and develop anti-social attitudes. The practical, material results of this, since that is what is important to you, is that men are less productive members of society, they are more prone to criminal impu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:53 PM
5

An employment agreement states that you will perform job duties according to the direction of the management of the company. In that sense everyone agrees to "submit" to their bosses if they are an employee. Marriage vows generally do not include explicit agreements to submit to one's partner, except probably in some religious communities. That said, my observation is that most women tend to desire that men take the lead in greater than 50% of things in a relationship. If you live in Western cul…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:29 PM
1

Of course. Me too. But I can tell you if one woman is more attractive than another. This is my subjective opinion but it often roughly aligns with conventional ideas of attractiveness. If I'm understanding it correctly, this post is about the hesitancy to acknowledge that one woman is less attractive than another. It's not about whether or not you can find a woman who has absolutely zero things attractive about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:45 PM
9

Humans are, well, humans. We want to know that we are accepted and valued in a society. Our instincts tell us this is absolutely critical to our survival. It certainly is critical for our happiness and success. Yet the first two items in your list are completely dismissing that men have this need. Are women put off by misogynistic things that politicians say? By nasty things men say about women in real life? How about online? Does this at least partially shape their worldview, their political al…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:38 PM
9

Yeah, the internet is terrible and almost any forum or thread tends to escalate to braindead gender wars, us vs. them flaming. In my experience, in mixed company and with people who I am not extremely close with there is not very much tolerance for talk about men's issues. I can listen to, and agree with, talk on women's issues for 2 hours but if I bring up men's issues I start getting blank stares. If I keep going I get pushback. It's not like on the internet where you will get your head bit of…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:07 PM
2

There are kind of two parts to this question. One is about who I vote for and one is the culture I generally align with, apart from voting decisions. Voting decisions In my comment I was talking about general left/right culture. This is separate from what the actual elected officials in the political parties do. When I vote, I vote for who I think will do a better (or at least less worse lol) job at making my country (USA) and its people better off. I do not vote based on whether I think left or…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 06:16 PM
55

I'll start by saying that I'm on the more liberal side of things. I vote partially on women's issues. I believe striving for equality is a responsibility for everyone and we're not quite there yet. Despite being more aligned with liberals on almost every issue, having mostly liberal friends, and spending the most time in that culture, something bothers me about it. There is almost no amount of negativity about men in discourse that is not happily tolerated. Generalizations about how horrible men…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 02:57 AM
1

It depends on what you mean by "nice". If you mean "more agreeable than average" then absolutely. Many women also have trouble being too agreeable and accommodating, of course. People do this to try to avoid conflict and not seem "mean" but they end up afraid to say what they want or go after it. Or they end up being doormats. For men this is also seen as weak, creepy, and horrendously unattractive to women. So yes, nice guys finish last. Now if you're talking about genuine kindness, that's diff…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 11:42 PM
10

Cool, cool. Hey, I’ve got friends whose race indicates that they are slightly more statistically likely to commit crimes. I ought to be wary of them and make a plan for when they explode into violence or start dealing drugs. Everything I know about their character says they would never do this, but it’s their demographic that’s the really important thing, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 06:15 AM
1

How do you know if you're a man a woman really wants or you're just a backup option and candidate for placeholder boyfriend at best? If you have to chase you're a backup.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 10:23 PM
23

You'll know it when you experience it. It's night and day. Think about it. So many men show this degree of unrestrained, almost feral sexual desire for women they're turned on by. Women do the same thing when they're truly turned on. It's just so much more rare for a man to get them there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 10:21 PM
1

Roughly looks match and similar "level" guys as themselves. Unless it's casual (whether they know it or not) in which case they can shoot significantly higher, maybe even get these "top men" you mention. I think a lot of women are put off by the modern man who is addicted to porn, puts no effort into sex / romance, and expects women to do most of the domestic labor. I think a lot of women are traumatized by modern dating and creeps and are fine with being alone. I don't think so. Guys who are st…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 09:49 PM
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Maybe it's less common but I don't think it's weird at all. 😊 Glad you have fun with it. I've always been naturally dominant sexually, at least somewhat, but over time I've increased the degree of intensity to which I lean into this because most women crave more and more of it. I'm very sensitive about consent and limits but women usually want more than I expect. That is all to say that I've learned that most women desire psychological stimulation, probably above all else, in sex. It should be o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:04 PM
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What I mean by that is that, generally speaking, both males and females seem to prefer and/or find more attractive females that are nurturing, considerate, empathetic, etc. I've been involved with several bisexual women and, curiously, a few women who identify as "lesbian" in that they only have relationships with women (homoromantic) but who like sex with men sometimes (so technically bisexual). I know not everyone fits this mold, but all of them were attracted to classically feminine character…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 01:16 AM
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Well, I always say whatever boundaries two people in a relationship agree to is their business. So if you can convince a woman that a vibrator is cheating that's cool. Whatever makes you both happy. I'd say it's a double standard if the man can look at pictures or use any source of stimulation for his masturbation but, then again, if two people agree to that double standard then whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 11:13 PM
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Someone else being a little plastic device?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 10:57 PM
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Not sure if this is serious. No, I wouldn't feel cheated on or heartbroken and I wouldn't divorce. It's like her finding out I was jerking off. Who cares? Let's say I was looking at porn when I was jerking off, or even just thinking about a hot babe I saw. In that case I would be using a little extra stimulation, just like she's getting from the vibrator.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 10:45 PM
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Sorry. Sounds totally fucked and basically the worst. Would drive me crazy. Hope it gets fixed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:57 PM
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Heh. I do because it's fun, not to look cool or impress women. But women do like it. Not all, maybe not even most, but the ones that do love it. So many have asked if they can ride on the back.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:56 PM
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Q4A: Say you have a hetero partner (sorry if this excludes you). You have another hetero couple who are friends that you do things with - have dinner, to go movies, etc. Since they're both your friends, would you ask the opposite gender friend to do something just the two of you? Would you mind if your partner was asked this? Is this a "normal" thing to ask? An example is a husband and wife couple with another married couple who are friends. One husband asks the other wife to do something just t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:48 PM
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Hilarious. I like Vietnamese food and he said the food is fire so I'd be happy to pay full price with a decent tip. ...but as a white guy maybe I should go incognito?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:16 PM
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I feel a little twinge of guilt or feeling judgmental when I'm swiping left on a woman for looks. Especially if she looks really sweet or otherwise great, like you say. I think it's good to lean into this part of your humanity and wish the best for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:12 PM
3

You're not going to find many guys who would prefer to be cheated on. This is mostly an ick for women. That said... We have to acknowledge that homosexuality is more of a stigma among African American people, for all kinds of cultural and religious reasons. It seems like a lot of the women asked in the video are black Americans, so these results could be skewed, at least somewhat. The same would be true if you asked a lot of white Evangelical Christians and maybe Southerners of any race.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 08:02 PM
1

"I keep giving my woman friend $20 every day, without her asking for it, and she accepts it. I expect her to give me something back but she never does. Why does she feel so entitled to my money?!" Do women know they're taking advantage of men's unrequited affection toward them? Yeah, often they do. Do you have to be a sucker? No. Lots of people will take advantage of you in this life if you let them, especially if you basically ask them to. Maybe it sucks but there is no sense in complaining abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 07:53 PM
17

I'll start by saying that I agree that some of your complaints are valid and there are certainly people out there who subject men to shitty treatment in the areas you mention. These are incongruities that many people who claim to be feminists embrace, seemingly without any introspection about how they go against their stated values of equality. The rest of this comment will be a little more abstract, about a mindset to (hopefully) engage others on these issues more constructively... Do I think m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 06:41 PM
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Yeah, unemployment (focusing on the US) is trending upward a bit at the moment but within normal fluctuations and not as high as during crises like the subprime mortgage crisis or Covid. Regardless of the snapshot of unemployment in the short term, an economy must, in general, maintain a replacement level birth rate in order to provide enough workers, enough consumer demand, and absorb the cost of supporting the older portion of the population. This is a big reason why governments provide tax cr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 12:08 AM
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Examples ? Leonardo da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs, Linus Torvalds, Miles Davis, Bill Gates, Buckminster Fuller, the Wright Brothers, Walt Disney, Mozart, Blaise Pascal, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino, John Coltrane (and lots more) No doctorates in there and many had/have no or little higher education. Leonardo da Vinci is probably the person most widely considered to be the quintessential genius (at least in the Western world) and he o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 09:10 PM
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I have had many valued, meaningful experiences with lots of humans. Especially conversations but also other shared experiences - enjoying music, trying amazing food, visiting a significant location, celebrating something, laughing until it hurt. Sometimes they're with friends or just strangers I met. I am naturally unreserved and expressive emotionally and I love making these connections with whoever. I live for these incredibly human experiences that make me feel alive. I am lucky to have had s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 08:29 PM
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I'm concerned about falling birth rates, but only because of the broad economic consequences.* Everyone should be concerned about this to some degree. So to me that solution sounds perfectly good if you can find people to go along with it. 😄 \ - In other words, I'm not one of those guys who are like "We have falling birth rates and therefore women have a moral obligation to fuck more men" or whatever it is they say. So I'm probably not who this is directed at.*
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:43 PM
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Yes, but having a PhD may suggest a certain minimum intelligence but doesn't indicate you're smarter than anyone else who didn't spend so much time and money on education. Most of the obviously brilliant people we see, think about, and talk about have distinguished themselves outside of academics and don't have doctorate degrees. A lot of them have at least a bachelors to open doors but the real proof of their intellectual capability is their results in a field. But yes, I would marry someone sm…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:18 PM
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I disagree but it's fine with me that you have a different standard... as long as you believe the same for men
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:50 PM
1

I remember having mixed feelings about the show. It's fading from memory at this point but I remember it at least being described that the boy was bullied and belittled by his peers, including girls in the class. If you're paying attention you can see it's complicated and there are reasons for boys to start down the path of radicalization. You could say it's not "fair" because the boys wrongs are shown with brutal clarity where the wrongs done to him are merely mentioned a few times. You have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:43 PM
1

3 things for young men 1. Decide on your values and stick to them. Hopefully they include kindness, honesty, and loyalty. Do this for yourself only, to be the person you want to be. These things help you make friends and sustain a relationship but not attract a mate. Regardless, never do this to receive a benefit. Do this because it's who you want to be. Have something that you value that nobody can take away from you. 2. Play the game and be attractive. Men and women are attracted to shallow th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:50 PM
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I hear you. These days people want to be very noncommittal, keep their options open, or don't want to give up fooling around with other people. Is this "good"? If we're talking about dating for the purpose of evaluating the quality of each connection and moving toward a long-term relationship, my guess is probably not. For this goal, I think it would be better if it was a social norm that you're only dating one person at a time. But that's not an agreed upon social norm these days. So making sur…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 12:31 AM
2

I don't agree that it's natural selection because I think very, very few men have literally zero chance of reproducing based on genetic factors alone. I believe that many men are not optimizing their attractiveness and are just jumping to blaming women for everything. If she's saying that then I agree. But she says other men should leave unattractive men behind. This sounds like she truly thinks unattractive men are hopeless due to genetics. I don't like this Black Pill fatalism no matter who it…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:16 PM
3

I propose that we don't judge anybody for wanting sex or money. Almost everybody wants these things, to some degree. Some people want them more or less than me. Why is the amount that I want the right amount? How self-centered is that? There is only a problem when someone else is harmed by someone's pursuit of these things. Lying, deceiving, and manipulating are the bad things. People being straightforward with their intentions are doing nothing wrong. I think we should normalize using the term …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:40 PM
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It's very sensible to call out that there are biases and not assume this data represents the whole story. So we can't immediately say this applies to all women. But it is also silly to dismiss this data as meaningless. First, 37% of women who are "single and looking" have used dating apps in the past year. Second, there is other app data, not just OkCupid, that reaffirms similar patterns as the OkCupid data. It's a big leap to simultaneously assume that 1. the data from the other apps would be s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 12:11 AM
1

(part 3) Women are wonderful, men have the potential to be respected and powerful The positive perception that comes with being a woman is fairly evenly distributed. The average woman has some wonderfulness about her by being considered more warm and caring, and is given the benefit of the doubt of being a good person. Often she is considered beautiful, even if she is not the most beautiful. This is in contrast to men, who are tainted by the might-be-a-criminal-or-otherwise-dangerous perception …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:35 PM
1

(part 2) Women are still wonderful... but what are men now? Despite women now getting their hands dirty as well, women are still perceived as wonderful. Women are doing all the complicated, compromising things men used to do but still have this bulletproof perception as being more pure, caring, kind, and simply better people. We used to have a system where men had all the power and respect and women had all the wonderfulness. Now women are rapidly gaining respect and power, achieving close to on…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:35 PM
2

I agree broadly that WAW doesn't come from nowhere. The relationship of this to the leadership/power perception, as attributed to men, is something I've thought about as well. I also don't interpret this as a "men are bad" post because I agree that many of those qualities lead to success that is perceived as masculine, which involves leadership, accumulation of power, and achievement. Winning means beating rivals and making them lose. Being a good leader means making hard decisions that may harm…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:34 PM
7

You're still doing it. But he also didnt act like he wanted to be serious. Thats the big thing with guys. You're suggesting that a man not "act[ing] like he wanted to be serious" is some kind of justification for cheating. What does that have to do with anything? If they agreed to be exclusive then it's cheating. If they didn't it's not. Him being a crappy boyfriend has nothing to do with evaluating whether cheating happened or not. If it's exclusive and he's a crappy boyfriend she should just d…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:30 PM
15

Ok, so... If a woman is in a non-exclusive relationship but decides it's serious, but only in her own mind, then the man would not be cheating. ✅ So far so good. If a man and woman are in a serious relationship but the woman decides it "doesnt have emotional depth, he doesn’t make time for her, he ignores her repeated complaints" then she's justified in cheating ❌ WTF? You kind of suggest it's exclusive in the second case but aren't clear about this. So maybe it is just the guy deciding it was s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:10 PM
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According to women, everywhere. I know they're discussed to death, but the dating app data shows that, just going on looks, women see 80% of men as below average. On a 1-7 scale (1 being ugliest), women rated 27% of men as the ugliest possible (1) and an additional 31% as second ugliest (2). So 58% of men have the ugliest ratings. I'll be quick to note that this is looks alone and dating apps are fixated on looks whereas in person men have an opportunity to show other strengths. Women point this…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:52 PM
1

I feel like 19-21% of women meet my standards
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:42 PM
17

So clubs where men are not showing up should host women who come in and drink for free? Open the doors and pay for the staff, liquor, supplies, and cleaning the bathrooms all for no revenue?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:34 PM
1

Yes, the same approach. What gets a woman who is open to casual to sleep with you? What gets a woman who is seeking a relationship to be excited about another date with you? The same thing: attraction. That's what I aim to build. A woman being attracted to a man is way more rare than getting along with him in a friendly way and having things in common. Attraction is what makes a man stand out among a woman's options. Of course having things in common, comfort, and aligned values and such matter …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:04 PM
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Yes, sometimes if a man is struggling it can feel easier to decide, in his mind, that he is unlovable. This relieves him of the burden of expectations which can lead to disappointment and of feeling like he must keep trying and possibly failing. It's choosing numbness and a passive pain over ups and downs and active pain. I don't think these guys really are unlovable but I understand how they end up choosing this to deal with frustrations. I think a better solution, in most cases, is to just cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:36 PM
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Really glad to have some actual data. There is all this talk about women being "used up" and undesirable but I don't see women being affected negatively by promiscuity, at least any more than men. I think there is more judgmental talk about women ("slut" is a gendered word, after all) but that doesn't translate into them being especially harmed by partner count when it comes to seeking a new relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:09 PM
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Always be practicing your social skills and charm. Start chatting with everyone. With cashiers, people in line, people sitting next to you waiting for a show to start. Make little observations about something in the environment. If they perk up and get engaged then keep talking. If they don't then hopefully you sense that and stop talking before they get annoyed or creeped out (if you're neurodivergent this is, admittedly, much harder). I've made friends, acquaintances, contacts, drinking buddie…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:56 PM
6

Yeah I agree that the relative power decreases for women as they age, for sure. They never lose the advantage but men start having a better shot with women on their level and, in my experience, just get a bit more appreciation and respect in lots of little ways. It never fully evens out but it starts to feel like we're at least playing a similar game.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:40 PM
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Yeah I agree with that. It goes from a huge advantage for women to merely a big advantage. It gets much better for men as they age. It's just not a completely reversed dynamic, as some say it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:37 PM
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Women are considered more desirable and have way more options than a similarly aged man who is in her percentile of attractiveness for their entire lives. Maybe they are not considered as objectively attractive as their former selves, at some point, but they retain the same power and advantages in dating relative to men at their same age and level. So, you're right, society doesn't hate older women. But no, the tables are not turned and women do not get any sort of "comeuppance" (for being sligh…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 09:25 PM
3

I appreciate the positivity. I don't want to blast you in any way for this because I agree that kindness is good and that men who are frustrated should keep going. The thing is that, when men are struggling, they are usually struggling because of lack of attraction. It's not lack of kindness, or consideration, or chivalry, or whatever. Most people can muster enough of this to not seem disagreeable to others. So when people say "be kind to women" or "treat her like a human being" to a man who is …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 07:44 PM
4

Emotional labor is just a two word term to explain “youre exhausting to be around and youre nowhere near as reliable as you expect me to be for you” That's your definition. If you narrowly define the term as this then I basically agree with you. The problem is that not everyone agrees with your definition. You're criticizing people (or only men?) for merely recognizing how others use the term nowadays, which is not their doing at all. What it used to mean Personally, I think "emotional labor" wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 06:57 PM
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I identify with that feeling of wanting to do things on your schedule and without always considering another person, as you can when you're single. I like caring for a partner but it can be tiring, especially when living together. Seems like he just wants that freedom to do mundane things as he pleases, not necessarily to go bang other chicks or "upgrade" his girlfriend. Some people just like being single better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:05 PM
1

That's true. How would these desires play out if most men had sufficient options for it to make a difference? I have no idea and neither do you. This post is all about judging men on what they theoretically would do, based on your imagination, and you're assuming the worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 08:47 PM
3

I agree about the "spark" being bullshit. Why couldn't that have been the title instead of something only loosely related and unnecessarily inflammatory?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:59 PM
1

Men will choose the more homely, feminine (meaning giving, sometimes docile, meek), “chaste” (each man has a different criteria for this) woman for marriage because he can get more value out of her. [...] She’s not the hottest girl he can get or desires, but she’ll do. What? Do you really believe most men are trying to pare down all of their options? That they're sitting there wondering about whether they should pick one of the hot women or one of the more domestically-oriented ones? Yeah, the v…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:51 PM
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I just saw something about Airport Crush Theory, which basically says that people seem more attractive at airports. It definitely seems true for me. Of the times women have "approached" me (initiated conversation based on some plausibly deniable pretext, being very friendly and open to continued conversation) about half have been in airports. I travel a lot but it's not like I spend half my time there. And yes, they were definitely approaching because I've always got a number whenever I've asked…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:58 AM
2

I agree that mainstream advice is terrible. It is a wishy washy about the most important things and contradictory about everything. It would be better if most of this advice was never given because at least men would have no other choice than depend on their own observations, without this distracting and misleading noise. But that doesn't mean Red Pill is the only other way. Red Pill is not the only collection of communities that speaks to men's interests. Other communities serve about the same …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:36 PM
6

I am offended by the original idea of sex (with men) defiling women and making her "used up" or whatever because of usual hypocrisy of it. It's one of the more annoying themes in Red Pill - celebrating men seeking sex but judging women for the same. But yes, it also offensive to me that it characterizes men as defilers. It's self-hating and I think it encourages a destructive, nihilistic attitude. That said, the manosphere is by no means the only propagator of these types of ideas. It's mirrorin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:57 PM
2

She’s doing something kind and loving and actually getting excited about making her partner happy. What a great attitude. This is the attitude I try to embrace and encourage in my relationships. I like doing simple and humble things, but doing them with love and genuine excitement for the happiness my partner. It can create an amazing virtuous cycle. So much of the talk about chores and nice things done for partners on this sub and elsewhere is so transactional. Scorekeeping down to the minute. …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:55 PM
2

Practice - lots of socializing and noticing what people respond to. This is an absolutely huge topic but I'll try to cover a few things. Bring the fun To be that guy you are talking about you have to bring the fun. Most people go out to socialize but they just sort of wait until something happens or somebody else starts a fun activity or conversation. Most people can join in and contribute momentum but few people are good at getting it started. For whatever reason you want to imagine, the person…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 10:37 PM
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To me it's freeing to give up on heavy investment in a particular outcome. In this case, giving up on the attitude that you need to get a girlfriend/wife/FWB right now or you're a complete failure. To me this is the mentally exhausting part. You can still pursue romantic opportunities as they come up and treat dates like a potentially fun hangout that might lead to something else. Yeah, there is cost, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. But I don't think spending a lot on early dates is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:47 PM
2

Of course everyone wants the dream partner. The super hot person who is also loving and a great practical partner. But almost nobody will get absolutely everything they want. So the pivotal question is: Are you content when you don't get everything you want? When men and women are surveyed with the question "If you got 80% of all of the ideal qualities you want in a partner, would you be happy?" these are the results: The majority of women say no, that is "settling, I’d be very unhappy". The maj…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:12 PM
5

I’m assuming you mean the internet posturing and trolling, like “Megan Fox has weird thumbs. Would not bang.” I don’t really know why they do it but my guess is it makes certain sad guys feel superior in some weird way or gives them some illusion of control if they can get internet points with their petty insults. Obviously in real life they’d be falling over themselves trying to ingratiate themselves to a beautiful woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:39 AM
2

I'm not saying that women have it easy in all things in life, that women can always get exactly what they want, or that there are no women that have some kind of challenges getting sex or getting it from who they want. I'm just saying it's patently obvious that it's easier for women to get sex than it is for men. The topic of your post illustrates this. Women who find it so difficult to find sex that they believe their only solution is to travel to a distant land, solely to have a better chance …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 01:22 AM
2

The attention they get from women from other countries is transactional. It's not genuine attraction and it will always lead to disaster. I don't disagree with this. That's what my caveat implied. I don't think it will always lead to disaster but the transactional nature does not get them off to a good start if they're seeking a relationship. This is a myth. Maybe for a young and average woman, getting sex is easier, but through my work I come into contact with women over 30 who are routinely re…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:00 AM
5

Oh, and a more obvious reason Red Pill doesn't mention "passport sisters" that I didn't mention in my other comment: Red Pill (whether it's good or bad) is focused solely on men's interests. It doesn't concern itself with women's romantic goals. You wouldn't expect a community focused on dating advice for women to address what men want and do to get it, except as it relates to helping women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:46 PM
2

tl;dr: We don't apply "passport sister" to women because the motivations are usually not the same. Sex is easy for women and they can get it anywhere, anytime. Arguably they can also get a relationship more easily too. Of course, getting the quality they want from either of these is not guaranteed. But at the very least they don't need to be a "passport sister" to get sex. I'm not promoting the passport bro lifestyle, or saying it usually leads to happiness, but men from more wealthy countries d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:37 PM
1

It's true, in a sense, that men "can't win" because there is no guarantee of a favorable outcome or even that something very unpleasant will not happen. We're rolling the dice every time. It's also true that our attractiveness is the most important factor contributing to a favorable outcome and not whether we do everything "right" according to what this or that woman's opinion on it is. It's good to internalize the idea that we can't control outcomes but that we will be fine. We will survive a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:59 PM
7

The blood part at least has some truth to it. In most countries conscription is only for men. How big of a deal this is depends on where you are and the likelihood of you being drafted. The rest is something men (and women) voluntarily do. Well, taxes aren't voluntary but earning income, spending, and other taxable activities generally are. Either way, men are not exclusively taxed or taxed more. Beware covert contracts! There is a fantastic concept that is explored in the book No More Mr. Nice …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:28 PM
2

I like these Alpha Bucks and Beta Fucks categories. I hadn't heard of it before I saw you mention it recently but it's a nice repurposing of the reductive alpha = "good and gets sex", beta = "bad and gets no sex" and acknowledges there are ways to emphasize different qualities in an attractive whole. Some more thoughtful classic RP stuff acknowledges this but mostly we see "100% alpha is the One True Way of Chad" in RP content these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 09:39 PM
2

Well, "Chad" doesn't really have a universal definition. Personally, I usually interpret "Chad" as a guy who has it all and is highly desired by women for sex and relationships. If you define Chad as a guy who only has looks and no relationship value then... well yeah, women don't have sex with him in an attempt to obtain commitment. But let's dispense with the loaded and controversial term "Chad" for a moment. Let's instead just focus on "the most desirable men" (who have relationship value and…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 09:21 PM
1

I don't know where the disconnect is here. Somehow you keep thinking I'm saying something I'm not. I'll try to explain again. You seem to believe that I don't think status matters or only matters when it's high enough. I don't think that and that's not what I was saying. Status always matters. For 1000 out of 1000 men it matters. Big and small improvements matter. Like I said before, I believe it is the most important component of a man's attractiveness to women. Let's just make sure the above i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:57 PM
1

Well, yes. I'm not saying status is unimportant. In fact, I believe it is the most important component of a man's attractiveness to women. Yet I still believe it is not helpful to say status is more important than looks or use men who are status outliers as proof of this because most men can't accumulate enough status to make other factors not matter. I'd say maybe... 1 out of 1000 men have high enough status where other factors at least start to not matter. You don't have to conquer the world b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:04 AM
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Yeah, I agree with the spirit of that. I don't know if it's this fear of not seeming agreeable or a reflexive sticking up for Team Woman but there's this party line of declaring that women's preferences never constrain a man's options but it's only his own flaws, insecurities, and neuroses that do this. I mean, I tell men they should be overconfident, if anything, and just go for it. This attitude is based on there usually being no cost to shooting your shot. You should learn to not let your ego…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 11:23 PM
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I agree, broadly. But for advising men on how to be sexually/romantically successful this is almost irrelevant. Reaching a level of status where other factors, like looks, do not matter is inaccessible to all but a tiny fraction of men. This is due to the nature of status - only a small amount of people can be in the very highest tier. Until you reach mega-status, also optimizing looks and attractive social behaviors is crucial. The potential hotness of most men is realized by maximizing attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 08:08 PM
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Oh yeah, for sure. The culture of your immediate area is huge and probably influences the chances of you finding a casual partner more than almost any factor. Also, I have no idea what percentage of women overall are open to casual sex. I was just talking about the breakdown of women who I have been involved with. I'm sure a lot of women see what I'm looking for and swipe left, so the ones who actually match with me are at least more likely than average to be open to it, based on what my profile…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 07:36 PM
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If anything, women say you have a shot with anyone, even when they know it's not true. This is probably a mix of women wanting to be positive/optimistic (everybody does this with their friends) or wanting to suggest women are attracted by "deeper" things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 06:28 PM
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I have some things going for me. I'm the magical 6' tall. I have an above average face and I'm 15% body fat or lower to accentuate the angles. I'm very fit. I'm white (yeah, it's stupid but it's an advantage). I spent some time on photofeeler to optimize my profile pics - what women go for can be surprising. A slight change in expression can make a 2+ point difference (out of 10). I live in a large American city and travel to mostly other large American cities. Other than, say, in the top 3 bigg…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 06:06 PM
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With a quick search I was able to find separate studies that say: A. Conservative women say they are happier than liberal women B. Men say they are happier when married I was not able to find anything that says men are happier when they are specifically married to conservative (or Red Pill) women more so than with liberal women. Do you have a source for this or are you extrapolating this from A and B above?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 05:40 PM
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Mostly mainstream apps (Bumble, Hinge, Tinder) but also a more explicitly sex-oriented app called Feeld. Sometimes I'll talk to a stranger at a bar or event and get a number but I find apps are easier (I realize this is because I present well in a mostly visual format and not all guys have these results). If I'm looking for an LTR I'll go through friends and acquaintances more but for casual I'd rather not. But I've met some really great women through apps so I would still use them as well. Peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 05:33 PM
1

Let's not confuse love with liking someone or being attracted to them. Love makes us do things for the well-being of others, regardless of whether it's in our best interests, we have anything to gain from them, or if we are attracted to them. Nobody loves someone else in this way, where they are willing to sacrifice for them, for no reason. In romantic relationships this starts with attraction to get two people together then develops over time. Attraction is the facilitator of making the initial…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 06:54 PM
3

Well, I think it is an empty platitude when most people say this. They're just saying some words they've heard so you'll buzz off and leave them alone or they can at least change the topic. Women also know they like a general impression of confidence but often don't know how to articulate how this manifests. They can describe the outward signs of confidence - a certain manner, body positioning, tone of voice, posture, etc. Mimicking these can work somewhat in a "fake it 'til you make it" sort of…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 12:51 AM
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Thanks for this. I'm not actually sure who the target audience is here and what you are trying to convince them about. Is it gymcels that go nuts with lifting but stop there? People who think there is zero value in Red Pill (despite it being an obviously mixed bag)? Nonetheless, I appreciate your attitude. There are a lot of people who refute everything about RP and state they are hate anything pill labelled but then take great pains to reconstruct the same ideas except without the RP terminolog…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:47 PM
1

I feel like we had similar reactions to Rational Male content and other RP stuff. There is some good stuff in there, Rationale Male specifically, which dispels some idealistic misconceptions men have about romance and tells us to be more realistic and level-headed. But when he runs out of good ideas it starts becoming repetitive and seemingly only rage fuel, instead of decent ideas with a side of rage fuel. I found myself getting angry and resentful toward women. It was making me unhappy. I didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:28 PM
3

Anecdotally, I sleep with pretty many women. I’m just looking for casual right now and I’m 100% upfront about it. There are plenty of options without needing to lie or misrepresent my intentions. The women I see are roughly in the top 20% most attractive. I say this not to brag but to point out that they are not at all desperate. They have options. Most of them would be at least open to an LTR, or even have that as their primary goal, but are open to fun in the meantime. I haven’t run into any p…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 04:11 AM
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This would have to be at least a little better, maybe significantly better. If the app were truly incentivized for great outcomes for users rather than profit it could be refined over time, based on metrics, even if the initial hypotheses don’t work optimally. Like you said, it will never happen but thinking about it is interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 01:51 AM
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Well, yeah. You need competence and "having your shit together" to sustain a relationship. Can't skate by on attractiveness alone in an LTR. Gotta have both. But between a guy who is incredibly attractive without substance and a guy who is incredibly competent without attractiveness, the attractive guy gets way more 1st, 2nd, and 3rd dates (and, yes, the sex that goes along with it).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 09:05 PM
1

Considering myself Purple, I believe Red Pill sometimes describes reality more accurately than conventional wisdom (Blue Pill). Other times it's just victimhood and demonizing women. If I'm discussing this in real life I tend to express agreement with any Blue-ish viewpoints that I agree with and mostly keep silent on the rest. Or I try to capture nuance if it doesn't sound too RP. Usually I just try not to discuss it because most people want to believe idealistic fantasies and trying to dispel …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 07:51 PM
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Something I disagree with somewhat is that women can reliably determine which category attractive men are in, ahead of time. You don't explicitly say they can in the post but the title "Women’s vetting does filter out the majority of men" suggests they can. To put it another way... What is the difference between a fuckboy and a holistically attractive man who decides, after many dates and sex, that he doesn't want to commit to you? What is the difference between a holistically attractive man and…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 06:53 PM
6

I've never asked a girlfriend, potential girlfriend, or a friend their "body count" and they've never asked me. I don't know where all of these body count confrontations are happening. I mean, if a girlfriend staged some sort of confrontation about my body count I'm pretty sure I'd think she was a psycho and would think about ending things. I'm not ashamed about anything but that's some pretty strange behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 06:42 PM
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A lot of guys are oblivious to how attractive other men are and oblivious to how attractive they themselves are as well. Some men who put a lot of effort into looksmaxing might care but many (most?) don't care enough to notice at all. Women are very attuned to attractiveness and generally evaluate everyone in the room, woman or man, even unconsciously. So yeah, women are much more likely to care and have a negative reaction when their status feels threatened. It doesn't necessarily result in "ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 05:55 PM
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It's habit. You can change it with some effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:34 PM
14

I agree with the basic point here. Most women aren't open to casual sex at anytime. It's a matter of her desiring it and then finding the hottest guy possible to do it with. There are exceptions where a guy is so appealing that she can't pass up the opportunity but these are comparatively rare. The typical thing that I see that makes typically relationship-oriented women seek casual sex is a breakup. They're feeling a bit low. They want some validation and assurance that they "still got it". So …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 10:32 PM
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I don't interpret this as pressure. I figure a lot of these guys suggesting it got their testosterone checked and, if it was low, did something about it, whether that was TRT or something else. Of course you can do what you want. If you don't have a problem then there is nothing to fix. If you do then you should consider all ways of going about addressing it. If a particular course of action isn't something you're willing to do then don't do it. There's no harm in someone suggesting options to y…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 09:40 PM
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I really liked this. The guy talking to the incel was very empathetic and willing to engage this guy. The incel guy seemed to start realizing that internet world is not the real world and how silly some of the things he believes are. This is valuable content to produce for other similar guys to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 06:53 PM
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There are statistics out there which will give you a better idea than vibes based answers here. Basically they'll tell you that most guys can find at least a few romantic/sexual partners during their lives. There will be good and bad moments, as with anyone. Please don't get into online communities that are focused on victimhood and wallowing in grievance. This will not help you be happy and fulfilled in life. There will be plenty of problems you will face as a man, often with no sympathy from w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 06:37 PM
1

I had a glow up and went from average attractiveness to the top 15% most attractive men. I will share my anecdotal experience. Note that this experience is exactly the same for every other man I've heard from who has had the same experience. Before I had a hard time getting a date. Apps didn't work at all. In person I was shot down. When I did occasionally manage to get a date, I had a very good chance of getting the next date and the next and starting a relationship. Now I can open an app and l…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 07:28 PM
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A lean man who is a 7 and becomes obese could end up a 4 (or even a 3). So there are some guys who start as obese 4s who could get lose a ton of weight and get fit and become a 7. The difference between merely pudgy and lean cause less dramatic difference but still a 1-2 point difference depending on how much weight we're talking about. That's just weight. Muscularity, wearing well-fitting clothes, the right haircut, a coherent sense of style, posture and how you carry yourself, and a lot more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:48 PM
8

I do not dig into my girlfriends' pasts. I don't ask or fish for information. I don't ask other people. I don't want to know. If someone offered me a detailed history of a girlfriend's sexual experiences and all the non-sexual nice things she did for former boyfriends, lovers, and hookups I'd say burn it. I don't want it. I judge my relationships on how she makes me feel and my own perspective on whether she values me. I also think some of these guys on here sound silly how they think they can s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:16 AM
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There is something to be said for demystifying sex in a man's mind and not making it this epic, life-changing event every time it happens. But really it's all about having options. Having options that will make you come across as less desperate and needy. You don't need any one, specific woman for sex. A lot of men with options will have a high body count but not all. In a relationship, the only way to deal with persistent sexual rejection is to state your needs and be willing to walk away if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 08:17 PM
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Men are supposed to have a nigh unto unrestrainable drive to fuck beautiful women. I'll just respond to this point. You listed it first so it may be prominent in your mind. I mean, sure, beautiful women are great. It's more the "drive to fuck" in general that affects men. I think it would go a long way toward making women understand men if they could experience 24/7 horniness that (crucially) is not provoked by any specific object of desire. Luckily it's subsiding somewhat as I get older, but wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 06:33 PM
1

Men are supposed to have a nigh unto unrestrainable drive to fuck beautiful women. I'll just respond to this point. You listed it first so it may be prominent in your mind. I mean, sure, beautiful women are great. It's more the "drive to fuck" in general that affects men. I think it would go a long way toward making women understand men if they could experience 24/7 horniness that (crucially) is not provoked by any specific object of desire. Luckily it's subsiding somewhat as I get older, but wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 06:33 PM
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As others have mentioned, it's a fool's errand to try to get a woman to approach you. Those things you mentioned? Those work for women (sometimes) because they are signals for the man to approach, just like described in the video. As a man, you can use the first two things in your list to try to get signals back that she is open to being approached, not to actually get her to approach, which will almost never happen. Note that, as a man, if you keep looking at a woman without going over to talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 06:11 PM
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Things are so divided right now that even not throwing the words "extremist" and "far right/left wing" into it I feel like people with different political views are pairing up less and less. For one, Trump is such a divisive figure that people tend to love or hate him if they have any opinion at all. Probably for something very casual where all parties intentionally avoid talking about politics it could work but nothing more. Anecdotally, I see a lot of women who I assume are extremely one side …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:53 PM
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The idea of struggling in your 20s and pulling in your 30s is not real. I struggled in my 20s and pulled in my 30s. Lots of other guys have. You don't see this everywhere? This is stuff you were supposed to have figured out late teens, early adulthood but a lot of you got sucked into online echo chambers that fucked your whole shit up instead of learning game for yourself. I got crucial information for how to become way more attractive in "online echo chambers". Not all of it was great or perfec…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:59 PM
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Online there is a sort of selection bias in who comments on threads. Women reading a question like "Do you prefer tall men?" or "Do you prefer large penises?" know it can make women seem shallow if you have the majority of women commenting with affirmative responses, even if it's true that most women do have this preference. The vast majority of women who have this preference usually will not respond because they know it makes women seem picky or shallow (whether or not this criticism is fair). …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:48 PM
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It would be very beneficial for men to have this feedback but unfortunately there is no upside for women in giving it and some possible downsides. Some guys will cause drama. A few guys might get dangerous. So, as much as it would be nice, it just ain't gonna happen. I wish women friends would have given me more straightforward, honest advice about attractiveness throughout my life. Helping a friend should be its own reward, right? But women recognize that some men could get still sensitive even…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:30 PM
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This is unquestionably true. Not really sure why anyone would downvote this. Executing basically this strategy moved me up a solid 2-3 points out of 10 in attractiveness. Of course, it's not easy. There is so much to each one of these points to break them down, evaluate where you're at, make a plan, and execute it. And framing it explicitly as things to promote sexual attraction is important because men have grown extremely suspicious of the ways women tend to describe attractiveness, which emph…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:59 PM
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Maybe... 3 times? What I do way more often is just strike up conversations with people wherever I am. Many of them are women, of course. If it feels like it has a good vibe and she seems available then I'll ask her out. But I would probably ask women out in person and cold approach much more often if dating apps didn't work just fine for me. Just swiping is easy to queue up a bunch of dates if I want. I don't need to stick my neck out in person so I usually don't unless I'm getting some good sig…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:56 PM
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Given how terrible the alternative is, there is no way I'll stop being liberal anytime soon. Still, it sucks that dissenting opinions are not tolerated among the people I'm politically aligned with. I learned a long time ago that if I merely agree 95% I better keep my mouth shut or it's going to be a huge fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 08:36 PM
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I don't agree with OP 100% that it's somehow all feminists suppressing dialog and shutting out imperfect allies on the left. It's just the general liberal culture. It's a shame, because I want what is happening to stop and they only way to do that is to defeat Republicans. All those problems you mention are worse problems for society than whatever liberals are doing. But it is ignoring problems in liberal culture that is making liberalism and Democrats a toxic brand which causes the other side t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:45 PM
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I use apps in big US cities. I'm mostly looking for something casual-ish and I say as much on my profile. YMMV Grab bag of observations: For men it really is the top X% and then all the rest I'd put myself in the top 30-40% or so for a lot of my life. I got almost no matches. I did a glow up, got fit, 15% body fat, perfect haircut/grooming, great clothes that fit me, and optimized my photos. I'm realistically in the top 10% now and it's day and night. Now I get tons of matches. If you're a man a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:22 PM
1

Are you for personal responsibility or not? Every day you come on here and argue that men who struggle in their romantic lives are completely to blame for their own problems. Then you make this post where you say that fat Americans are not to blame for their weight problems. Two groups, both with challenges which they are failing to overcome. For the first group you assign all the blame to them, for their poor character. For the second, you characterize them as helpless victims of their circumst…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 09:27 PM
2

I used to think I was pretty kinky. Then I found out what women tend to be into. 😳 If I was just doing things that I like to do, for my own pleasure, I wouldn't do half of the degrading things women want me to do and say to them. I've gotten used to it and now I enjoy a lot of it because I know it's giving her pleasure. It's like a lot of things that are mostly for her stimulation - if it makes her excited it makes me excited. I still say no to some things because they're too far for me. No judg…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 10:45 PM
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Ha. I'm moving on and not looking back. It's about always improving.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 03:59 AM
8

There is a common theme in my answers. It is that I would prefer that women (and everybody) be candid, straightforward, and honest about their preferences BUT I understand there are social reasons to not be 100% straightforward about these things. In what sorts of situations should a woman tell you about her preferences? In-person? In all situations, but I understand if people do not always tell the full truth in person. I completely understand that a woman doesn't want to tell a man that she do…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:13 PM
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I see the opposite with Red Pill, at least. I'm a little older than most on here so I'm sure that could have affected my experience. Growing up I was always told an idealized version of what attracted women to men. That women "just work differently" and they are attracted to good character, kindness, responsibility, and confidence. I got this from women (and men) of all ages, from my peers, family members, TV shows, books, movies. If I asked about something "shallow" like why a good looking guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:32 PM
16

Some generalizations of patently true things are helpful to facilitate discussion. We don't want to have to submit rigorous, mathematically airtight proofs for everything. For example, relying on "Women like confident men" as axiomatic is convenient. It's not true for literally 100% of women but it's true enough as it is obviously a broadly desired characteristic that affects men's success with and approach to dating. So generalizations aren't always bad or malicious and sometimes they are helpf…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:52 PM
11

Basically what you said your friends did was all necessary for me to become successful. I'd add a lot of looks maxing on top of that as well. So the answer for me is that I put in a lot of effort. As for whether I think it should be easy... I can't help but feel envious toward women at least when it comes to getting dates. Most women never need to expose themselves to rejection (by overtly asking for a date) and they get a lot of offers for dates. 1-3 on your list are good for personal developme…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:41 PM
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I mostly worked off of the Married Red Pill sidebar and lurked that forum. I found that was much more toned done and practical vs. the main RP subreddit. It deals with maintaining attraction over time and relationship skills and not only initial attraction. To be clear, there is a good deal of hating women in there, especially as you dig in more. That's why I couldn't buy in to all of it. The published books are more respectable and most Blue Pillers would have no problem with them. Those were t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:03 PM
3

I agree that it is generally not kind. It is at best neutral about women and at worst very negative. That's the main reason I had to stop reading any Red Pill stuff and lurking forums.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:32 PM
4

Don't get me wrong, I think the Red Pill has a lot of dangerous ideas and I don't recommend it to men for that reason. I just give them advice that worked for me instead. I did not harm any women in my journey, if that's what you're suggesting. Maybe that's because I was able to get out. You’re better off improving yourself for you anyway I did improve for myself. I did certain things to make myself more attractive to women because it's beneficial to me to have more romantic options. I don't see…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:23 PM
7

As with almost every discussion about Red Pill, it depends on what you mean by "Red Pill". If you mean buying in 100% to all the cynical perspectives of YouTubers and the most jaded posters on Red Pill forums then I basically agree. If you mean the set of advice and the plan for self improvement on the Red Pill sidebar which doesn't tell you what you should do with the advice then I disagree. Personally, I was able to get in, cherry pick the useful advice, and get out. Some of it was crucial for…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:15 PM
2

I can totally see that with men. Any person who is a little above average and almost at that top tier and can occasionally attract them will really want to prove to themselves they can attract anyone. And I agree there is some compromise both ways when it comes to really deciding what’s important for an LTR. I feel like I was a little negative toward women on this but really it applies to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 03:26 AM
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The chart is real. You could say there is some selection bias involved because this is only taking into account women who set the height filter. Women who don't care much would not set the filter at all. It's hard to say how much that selection bias skews the numbers. I still think it's pretty bleak but it's not as bleak as you might suppose from looking at this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 11:27 PM
5

Status and wealth are attractive. Men who have these will have a big advantage over men who don't. Some women will tolerate criminality to get access to a more attractive man. And, sure, some women like the danger and intrigue of criminals. A lot more may be fascinated by these types but not willing to get involved with them. It might not be much different than men thinking strippers are hot but most not wanting to be their boyfriends. Or the hot but crazy girl that you know will wreck your life…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:29 PM
11

Damn these are good. Just wanted to say that I recognize that you really have thought these through and it seems like you care about the effects on people, including men. Anyway, I hope sometimes men on PPD return the favor of thoughtfulness sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:50 AM
10

I agree that there are certain romantic interaction skills that just cannot be practiced outside of that context. But platonic and romantic skills do have a large overlap. The skills to meet a new person at a party or networking event and make them like you are very similar to those of meeting a romantic prospect or going on a first date and making them like you. What makes you charismatic is largely the same in both contexts. In the romantic context you also need to emphasize certain attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:31 PM
2

Absolutely. There is much overlap in the skills to have successful platonic/professional/networking connections and romantic relationships. Charisma is charisma, for the most part. I would add that men should not only work to maintain friendships and connections but also invest in increasing status within social groups, if for no other reason than practicing charisma (just try not to be obnoxious about it heh). I thought the book The Art of Seduction was ok, but something that resonated with me …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:22 PM
4

Kind of? Sure, some women can and do seek out a traditional arrangement and make it happen. But there are just not nearly as many men around, as there used to be, who are willing and able to be the sole provider, say to support a middle class lifestyle. I'm sure someone else will mention this too, but there's always the issue that a woman with no marketable skills will essentially be dependent on a man for life. This could put her in a really bad position with no good options if things go sour i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 03:39 AM
4

Yeah, I totally get that. I personally would never buy a woman a flower subscription, since it's kind of missing the point. I completely understand that the value of flowers is in large part to be a reminder of someone caring and thinking about you. Having something pretty in the house is part of the value but usually not the main thing. I'm pretty sentimental myself. Plus there's that whole thing about guys not getting compliments and generally not being used to people going out of their way to…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 03:15 AM
19

I think it would be great. I would think warmly about her every time I received the item. Doesn't matter if it was something simple, practical, or cheap. I understand everyone is different. I'm thinking this woman really values that thoughtfulness and effort and that's completely fine. That's how she feels loved and I don't think anyone can talk her out of it. But I think it's a bit crappy of her to not appreciate the initial effort and the ongoing expenditure for her. I'm fine with her thinking…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:55 PM
2

Yeah, I hear that. I really do feel like women who are 7+ have their own predicament. If they just look for guys on their own attractiveness level they're dealing with men who are have a lot more options and are therefore pickier about commitment, like you said. As for the dopamine rush, I feel that. Haha. Just in a different way. For men, I feel like we have to make that undeniable "spark", those butterflies happen on the first date or there is no second date. It's a different burden of (what c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:48 PM
1

I am! I do feel like I was a little too combative or negative about women in this thread, though. 😕 I think I could have been a bit more measured with my comments. I'm trying to be better about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:40 PM
2

I don't doubt that men also often characterize what they want in the most positive, virtuous ways and also sometimes make themselves out to the be helpless victims of all those bad women who are working against them. In real life and pretty much constantly on PPD, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:34 PM
3

Interesting. I don't want to be dismissive about frustrations from the other side. I'm sure it's not easy. Sifting through which men just want sex and which don't seems like one of the hardest parts. Regarding the 6-7s, I've just observed this kind of thing a bit more with them, that above average but not top attractiveness level. I don't want to say it's everybody but I think some interesting dynamics come into play there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:30 PM
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I agree with others' takes that PPD is not necessarily the best place to ask this. People have opinions that are colored by a certain agenda and many tend to view men or women as the "bad ones" or the manipulators in any situation. That said, I'll give my take on it. I think you have to go your own pace no matter what. Another comment mentioned some ways to indicate that you are interested and invested without sex and that seems like a great list. I do think you will need to let him know that yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:26 PM
16

Sure. I assume someone always wants someone attractive, regardless of whether they say it. I still say that when a woman is making a “The bar is in hell” statement by saying she “…just wants a man who is emotionally available” when actually the bar is very high to meet her attractiveness standards, then she is mischaracterizing the situation. Even if some attractiveness is implied, requiring the top small percentage most attractive men is the most important factor contributing to her difficulty …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:20 AM
26

I don't want them to do anything different if they don't want to. I would prefer that the women friends I mentioned said "The most important thing for me is that a man is very attractive. I would also like him to be emotionally available." instead of saying "I just want a man who is emotionally available." I do not judge them for wanting an attractive man. Who doesn't want an attractive partner? I just would rather that people speak plainly and candidly rather than leading with a not-quite-true …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:55 AM
17

You're often not going to get straightforward answers on this stuff from women (or men). It's part of why asking women for advice on dating women is not very useful. I'm sure it's similar for men too. Say there is some "Women just like tall guys" post on Reddit. What responses are you going to get from women? You're not going to get a lot of "Hell yeah we do!" responses, even if that's true. It's obvious and makes themselves and women in general seem shallow. They will keep that comment to thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:57 AM
1

"Friends will never directly tell another friend they are obnoxious and off-putting" is a very simple explanation. What is far-fetched is believing that this woman's many obvious unattractive, even repulsive qualities have nothing to do with her lack of success with dating and, also, her friends are completely unaware of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:44 AM
1

If you can't read between the lines here and recognize this as a positive spin then I don't know what to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 11:12 PM
1

You share a video with an obnoxious woman who asks her friends why she can't get dates. They try to suggest her attitude is putting men off, but soften it by also complimenting her on being smart and confident. You'd think this would be exactly the type of thing women would be good at picking up on. Reading between the lines. Getting the underlying message beneath the social niceties. But instead of picking up that they're saying "You should stop being obnoxious" in a nice way you somehow get "W…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 10:48 PM
3

I'm not sure what the point is of bringing single mothers into this. That topic is beaten to death and doesn't really clarify the point IMO. The rest, sure. Women get tired of not getting the commitment they want from men. Maybe they select a guy at her attractiveness level and it doesn't work out. So she's embarrassed that she can't lock down someone that she "should" be able to (or at least that's the perception). So next time, aim high. If you try for a super hot guy and fail there's no shame…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 10:40 PM
62

I've seen this a lot. Notably, I've had women friends who say "I just want a man who is emotionally available." The problem is that it's not the only requirement. In fact, it's not nearly the most important requirement. Most of the ones who have said this to me select for the very most attractive qualities first, as a hard requirement, and then attempt to find an emotionally available man within that very limited set. And I sympathize with some women who have said this to me because they are qui…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:07 PM
2

Thanks for the comment and thanks for reading to the end! Haha Yes, I to try to see both sides of the issue and I appreciate you do too. The title of this post made me wonder how he could possibly think that getting "played" isn't a real concern for women. The body was... not great either. I get a bit frustrated sometimes because it feels like I can't get some women on here to understand that it's a legitimate concern that men want to be truly desired in a relationship. I've been the placeholder…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 07:24 PM
2

I find it can be hard to convince people that being the "safe pick" that women don't truly desire is a real concern for men. Along these lines, enthusiasm for physical intimacy is a way to evaluate that and see if your partner actually values you or is just using you as a stable placeholder. This absolutist idea about how women have to have sex immediately or she's just using you does not help sell the idea that this is a real concern. This is reductive and you're making a lot of AWALT assumptio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 10:24 PM
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Yeah, for sure part of it is that sometimes women just want to get laid too
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 10:06 PM
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After I had my big glow up I definitely had an unattractive man mindset for a while. I went on quite a tear of sex for validation. I thought women would eventually discover I was the same guy they didn't find attractive before. And of course there was novelty because I didn't have access to casual sex before. After a while I chilled out and I feel great about myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:51 PM
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Michael C. Hall was pretty buff in original Dexter and kinda gave off a "don't give a fuck" attitude. Young Dexter is awkward and unconfident. Him beating the fuck out of a tough guy at the party would make some girls aroused but that's the only thing. His awkwardness would eventually put them off even after that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:39 PM
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This is not to ridicule fat people but I have noticed that larger women more often advertise that they are looking for, or are open to, casual sex on apps. Sometimes quite explicitly which you don't usually see on more conventionally attractive women's profiles outside of more sex-oriented apps. Yeah, I figure it's because they have less validation from men in general so broadcasting an openness to sex gets them more attention and validation from the interactions and the sex itself. It just goes…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:26 PM
4

As others have pointed out, women can be very selective due to essentially endless options. The only limiting factors are her patience in finding a mate and that the most desirable ("flawless") men also can be very selective due to their essentially endless options. Also, some of these requirements are pretty darn reasonable for a woman who also satisfies the same requirement - not living with parents, having a career, having friends, as examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:14 AM
2

I appreciate the thoughtful take. I believe this is all sound advice. If you're not among the most superficially appealing guys you're going to struggle on apps. Just the way it is. In real life you have the opportunity to leverage your other strengths and at least give yourself a shot, rather than being filtered out on apps and never seen again. I also agree that dating apps is a factor in driving guys to Red Pill. I think it's an exacerbating factor and the phenomenon would exist even without …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 08:44 PM
0

I would expect any woman I've ever been with or have been friends with to seriously consider leaving their partner if he did any of these "typically" male things. I would do the same for these reverse scenarios.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 08:02 PM
2

Yeah, I hear you. That can be a barrier. I don't think tastes all need to match up but it's important to some people. I guess it would be nice for me if a partner would at least want to watch some of the same movies. Ha
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 10:24 PM
4

Sometimes a woman will know that a man has feelings for her (whether or not the first 2 statements apply) and will leverage this to her advantage - for "boyfriend benefits", for validation, or for a backup option I said that sometimes women do bad things. You seem to agree that they don't always do bad things. I'm not sure what you disagree with here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 10:19 PM
1

Yeah, I'm sure. I'd define "options" here as "people who are willing to go on a date with you". No guarantees of compatibility from there but having a lot of these options is one of the most valuable advantages you can have in finding a great partner since you have so many people you can filter on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 09:00 PM
0

If a Red Pill guy believes everyone, women and men, should be virgins before marriage in order to only have possibility of pregnancy within marriage or otherwise believes in 100% responsibility for men whenever they impregnate a woman (financially and also to raise the child) then I don't have an issue with his views. The problem is a lot of guys believe they should be able to be promiscuous and not have any responsibility for pregnancy ("paper abortions", for example) and yet judge women for pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:18 PM
5

I wonder if everyone reading this could agree with these statements: Sometimes a man puts himself in the "friend zone" by attempting to indirectly get into a romantic relationship with a woman through the friendship route (aka the Nice Guy play) Sometimes a man will develop feelings for a friend after spending time with a woman and attempt to turn it into a romantic relationship Sometimes a woman will know that a man has feelings for her (whether or not the first 2 statements apply) and will lev…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:06 PM
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That's a good way to put it. It's a legit problem many women (and some men) face and I feel for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:28 PM
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I would think most who identify as a twink would be gay, so that's tough. There may be some skinny, nerdy straight guys who are unwittingly effeminate that you could snatch up. "Pretty boys" suggests they're hot and desirable. Depends on how cute you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:23 PM
0

It's a double edged sword. Men are expected to be strong and without insecurities. A disadvantage is that they are freely tested for this at any time and if they display insecurity it's considered their fault for being weak. Women are expected to not be as strong, which is a disadvantage. An advantage is that it's considered out of bounds to poke at their insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:05 PM
3

Pretty standard Red Pill take. A lot of this could almost be copy/pasted from RP posts I read years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 06:47 PM
3

Thank you for commenting this!! I have heard this text before, but didn’t know where it was from! The first time I read it, I instantly thought “wow what a mean and heartless person. How can you be so unaware??” I appreciate your engagement with me and guys on this thread. It's really disarming when someone is so open to listening and understanding. As far as the text goes, I love how vulnerable and aware she is. I think a lot of time we haven't examined ourselves about the pressures we put on e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 07:57 PM
65

When I was in my twenties, I would go to couples therapy, and my partner of more than ten years would explain how I asked him to talk about his feelings and when he did, I would freak out. He was right. It was hard for me to face that I did not want to hear about his feelings when they were painful or negative, that I did not want my image of the strong man truly challenged by learning of his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Here I was, an enlightened feminist woman who did not want to hear my ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:41 AM
2

Are you saying it's ok to treat him differently because he happens to have a larger body? It's ok for him to miss out on mentorship or collaboration opportunities because of his body?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:01 AM
4

If your conclusion after reading the article is that men are sexist for being afraid to interact with women then you've completely misinterpreted what the author is saying. We get why men are nervous. “We talk about what are wrong behaviors, but we never as a country, as a culture, talk about what the right behaviors are,” says Reeves. “Imagine if someone watched you eat for week, and pointed out all the stuff that was unhealthy, but never thought to tell you about what was healthy. You’d be ner…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:57 PM
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It happens so often that it's simply something you have to deal with and not get bent out of shape over, especially with someone from an app. How it's expressed often says a lot about whether the other person legitimately had something come up or they just are blowing you off because they're not feeling it enough to get dressed and out the door. She gave some dates for rescheduling which is a good sign. That's usually my litmus test - do they actually make any effort to make it happen in the fut…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:25 PM
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Heh. I guess at least he's upfront and you can take it or leave it. Some women on here are always saying they want a guy who gives a lot of head, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:09 PM
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Tinder is a mess. Lots of bots, scammers, and otherwise non-human accounts. But also a ton of real people too...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:08 PM
3

From my perspective The Wall doesn't really exist at all. For an attractive woman you go from being desired by practically every man you see while young to (gasp!) merely every man in your ballpark age or older. Damn, that Wall is, um... harsh? Yeah, the magnitude of options is less for less attractive women. Still, The Wall is just downgrading a woman from extremely broad desirability across age groups to desirability within her own age group. The latter is all men ever had anyway, so women are…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 09:22 PM
1

Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. I'm sure I've dated women who have had a situationship going on. Sometimes I've been the situationship while she's dating for a serious relationship. When she wants to be exclusive with someone else we part ways. So this happens. Everybody knows it does. At the same time, not all women do it like this. Either way, why fixate on it? What good does it do a man to think about it? What she wants from you is an instant connection, all the feels, lots of passion, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 08:56 PM
2

Would you say women's dating problems are also mainly due to them fumbling or otherwise attributable to their own actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:07 PM
6

This is an interesting thread kicked off by the studies you shared. It fills in a lot of the blanks. Thanks. It seems to me this both contradicts and supports different parts of a Red Pill-ish narrative about women's attraction to men. The direction of causality of n count is an important thing to note which somewhat contradicts the idea of preselection. Preselection may be important... but if you indulge in having sex with a lot of the women who select you it may eventually make you a less desi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 06:25 PM
1

Hmm. Yeah, I have seen a double standard out there, especially among some bro-ier guys I encounter in the wild. Obviously madonna/whore is a thing. I think the specific thing I've seen only on the internet is bringing hypocritical religious arguments into it. It may be essentially the same phenomenon but it's an especially ridiculous way to try to defend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:34 PM
1

We should get "DISCUSSIONS ABOUT FORESKIN ARE BANNED FROM THE DAILY THREAD" into the title. Then people will know what they're getting into when they visit the sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:15 PM
1

I hope my foreskin ended up on a hot woman's face lol I don't care what they use them for. People decided to circumcise their babies and there was a byproduct left over. Shrug.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:06 PM
1

Probably more attractive, since "based" to me would mean they some combination of insightful, nuanced, empathetic, and fair-minded. That said, I would encourage them to spend their time doing something else. It's advice I should take.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:03 PM
3

Yeah, I totally acknowledge that judgment, slut shaming, safety concerns, and biological realities are factors in making women less likely to pursue sex, especially casual sex. I don't like to suggest that women don't like sex. I don't think that's good for anyone. That was not my intent. What I meant is just that men tend to have more undirected, spontaneous sexual desire. In other words, men are more likely to feel a higher baseline level of horniness, even when they don't have a particular ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 08:28 PM
0

I've dated some women who were pretty open about these things. For me it was always in a casual context where there was more of a sex emphasis. Personally I don't like to dig into it too far when I'm in a more serious relationship. I may be interested in certain things just to find out her preferences and what turns her on but there are some things I don't particularly want to get into my head. Others are different though, of course. I think if people in a relationship are comfortable with getti…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:36 PM
1

Cats are fun
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:05 PM
2

Yeah, I think they are irrelevant out in the "real world". Here on PPD they're loud and taint the dialog. Red Pill spaces have lots of these types of guys. Judging women for religious or quasi-religious reasons but proudly bragging about their supposedly libertine lifestyles. It's one of the ridiculous things that made me really question whether those spaces were worth hanging around in. Sometimes these same guys even said some insightful things but then came out with this glaring stupidity. It …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:56 PM
5

I don't disagree that it's much, much harder for men to get sex. The reason, of course, is that women are not as horny as men. But all the same, yes, men have to do more to "prove themselves worthy" of sex. I still don't see how this justifies a hypocritical double standard about sexuality for a person who supposedly embraces sexual purity as a value. If your "value" can be described as "I have this value... except I feel that something is unfair for me so I get to violate this value, but nobody…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:47 PM
3

Yeah, I totally get that. Just in general it can be an environment with a lot of antagonism and combativeness. This does not encourage candid, vulnerable input. Specifically on PPD there is a contingent of guys who say they want a woman who is a virgin (or very low n-count) who was not sexual at all before but suddenly becomes an insatiable nympho, only for him, the moment they meet. I have to believe these guys are virgins with a lot of insecurity around sex. I sympathize with their frustration…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:38 PM
6

“Pick better” is almost always a way to just dismiss someone’s relationship problems by throwing it all back on them. Blaming someone for their own abuse is just an extra cruel insult. There are ways of compassionately trying to help someone see warning signs and red flags, but they usually don’t include this phrase or anything like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:05 AM
5

I'll preface this by saying it is often very important to men to feel desired sexually in order to feel secure and valued in a relationship. This is often not recognized in these discussions or it is dismissed as invalid or trivial. There are, of course, certain types of investment that women tend to desire in order to feel secure and valued in a relationship. Their partner connecting with them emotionally and accepting them emotionally at a deep level is one. Effort toward romance and dates is …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:15 AM
16

Yeah, I always think this when these discussions come up. Specifically with the "She did such and such sexually with other guys but not with you" discussions. I often say you probably won't even know these things so the question is mostly theoretical. I also tend to date in big cities and off of apps so, personally, I usually have no idea. But sometimes you might come to know things. My guy friends generally don't talk about what their wives and girlfriends do sexually and neither do I but I've …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 11:59 PM
1

Blindfold! I forgot about that one. That's actually the very most basic one. I personally don't love using it much because I like the erotic feeling of looking into a woman's eyes, including when we're getting deep into D/s play. But women can be very excited by it so I use it sometimes. I'm not really into pain or causing pain, but I like the idea of having the woman feel safe to surrender herself completely. Abso-fucking-lutely. This is the exact part I'm into. I take the comfort and safety as…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 11:37 PM
1

Right. I don't think the humor is any more sophisticated than "fat women suck lol". I agree with what you said. Fat women are generally in the same "league" as fat men. I think I've even asked him before whether he has a "healthy BMI" for a man. I've never seen a response.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 11:28 PM
2

Almost all women like to be dominated sexually to some degree. Liking toys and devices associated with BDSM is a bit more niche, but still popular. I don't get into that much but I use some of the basics if a partner is into it. A lot of women who aren't too kinky like handcuffs, at least sometimes. I'd start with a pair of soft, comfortable ones. Velcro is just fine and cheaper, unless you and your partner like the metal with padding feel. A step up in kink is a collar and a further step is a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:39 PM
1

I love being an adult. I have money and freedom to do whatever I want to do and be whoever I want to be. I could take up kayaking, skydiving, or working on classic cars. I could move to Buenos Aires. I could turn my living room into a replica of a set of a TV show. I can make anything happen that I want to. Nobody can tell me no.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:24 PM
1

I go for a balance of both
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:16 PM
1

Some Evangelical Christians have equally bizarre ideas about the end of the world and the rapture. They think the US government has to do this or that with Israel to make sure the end times happen as they're supposed to. Like, if the prophecy is 100% true it should just happen anyway, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:16 PM
1

Haha. Also excellent. Did you make these up yourself? Quality work. I'm totally going to steal these and work them into my dating app texting game. Not sure how often the opportunity will present itself but these will be gold when it does. Heh
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:11 PM
1

Hahaha. Those emojis are making me smile uncontrollably. There was a chuckle too. Ok, I'd pick mime.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:42 PM
1

Lack of experience, at least sometimes. Some couples like this are a perfect match or close enough to it that they would be unlikely to find a better partner. Others may just be together because they feel it's good enough, along with being afraid of having to go out, date, and find someone else. As time goes on this fear gets worse and worse. The adult dating world is unfamiliar and intimidating to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:40 PM
1

Is she good at miming? Either way, I'd probably pick mime. But you didn't specify how frequently she gets the urge to mime. At some point it's too much and I'd pick the food allergies. Especially if she's terrible at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:35 PM
1

Most men peak way after 22. You got time to build up to some big highs. Start working toward making them happen if you aren't already.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:31 PM
2

If you're doing it because you have anxiety about it then do what you're comfortable with. The other drivers will survive. If you're doing it for casual antagonism toward strangers I'd agree with the "-rep" assessment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:29 PM
1

He's never answered this, AFAIK. It's obviously relevant. But he's probably just here to troll so it doesn't actually matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:24 PM
1

Will women usually know if they had a negative experience with an autistic man? Say an autistic man approaches a woman and he gives off cues which she interprets as creepy. I don't think she will usually know he was autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:59 PM
1

What should people have shame about, exactly? Is it inherently bad to pursue satisfaction of "our most lustful and carnal desires"? I'm asking how you would say lust and sexual desires are bad general sense that would apply to a pluralistic society. For example, religious rules only apply to adherents of that religion, so we can't expect everyone in society to follow them. You haven't mentioned religion so I don't know if you would come at it from that angle but that's the most common reason I k…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:04 PM
2

Yeah, I think the post is fine to ask. I was trying to answer as helpfully as I could. When I said "It's off-topic" what I meant is that using strictly inclusive language in every post and comment seems like it would be a waste of time given the implied context of hetero dating. It would be adding a lot of text that isn't necessary and that text is what I was calling "off-topic". Your post isn't necessarily off-topic, even though it arguably is not something most people come here to discuss. To …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:26 PM
1

Yeah, just saying what I've observed. I don't make assumptions just based on clothes but I can't help but notice some patterns. I should note that the overall styling makes a difference. The more traditional women tend to wear high heels with their dresses with traditional jewelry and their hair done up every day. The tomboy girl has a nose ring and tattoos and has a plain or messy hairstyle. She might add extra rocker chick details like studded leather belts. Not always. Sometimes she goes for …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 05:42 PM
3

Yeah. They're at least paid nominal fees. The ones who play at bars don't get paid much because bars know bands want to play out for exposure, even at bars that are decent live music venues. The bands who are willing to do private events, like weddings, get paid more per gig. They almost all have day jobs and do music for the love of it, though. The minimum to actually start making ok money is being a well-known band in a big city, if you can fill larger concert venues. Even then you don't get a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 12:15 AM
7

I know lots of musicians who play in public. Most of them are not professionals. Sometimes they may get a little money for playing in bars or other venues but that’s basically beer money. They have steady jobs to actually pay the bills. I used to do all this myself, too. When I was younger I was in bands that had some local recognition. I was never what I would call a professional, so… it was a hobby. I’m not sure what you would call it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 09:34 PM
18

Status in men is part of women's attraction to them. Hobbies can indicate high or low status. Success or skill within those hobbies also affects status. As an obvious example, musicians are attractive to women. More successful is better, but even a skilled musician who is only locally known and is only playing shows as a hobby is still getting a lot more attention from women than a guy without something like this going for him. Not all hobbies are as impactful but there are a lot of others that …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 08:30 PM
0

Sex is much more than orgasm and you've touched on some key points of male sexual performance. But they're still important. I like orgasm denial too. When I'm with a woman who I can get off more than once consistently I sometimes like to spice it up and make her ask permission to come and she loves it. All this is only interesting and exciting because orgasms have a powerful effect. It all indicates that giving women orgasms (and controlling them, if you can do that) is an important skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:26 PM
3

I don't think it's weird. I think if it's a style that she can pull off that's great. To me it seems correlated with a woman having more traditional views on gender roles and striving to be more traditionally feminine and soft. But not always! You don't need to have these views and behaviors. I have a friend who has a real tomboy, tough girl attitude and she wears dresses and skirts more than almost any woman I know. It works for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:17 PM
1

Like so many things it depends on the other things she says and does to indicate how she feels about him. It could mean he seems safe and boring. It could also mean he's so hot and good looking that the halo effect makes her attribute good character to him without him doing anything to earn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:06 PM
5

Porn, romance novels, vampire love stories, IG, 50 Shades, erotica, trashy reality shows... it's all the same to me. It's content created for titillation and indulgence in fantasy. If you're in a relationship then you are fantasizing about someone (real, imaginary, or an actor playing a character who is a mix) who is not your partner. I'm fine with all of it. I can't police her mind. Almost certainly I've been sitting next to a girlfriend watching a movie while she feels a bit of lust for some h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 06:16 PM
3

Nodding my head along with this. Yeah, I don't want to come across as too dismissive about the original idea. I said 'I don't believe this "woman are the ones choosing" attitude affects the behavior of women much at all.' but I did leave some room with "much at all" because I'm not 100% certain about this. An expansion of this phrase would be something like: Since it's not realistic to change how men speak, collectively, it is also not as relevant or actionable as changing an individual man's be…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:36 PM
14

I basically agree that you need to get over things and move forward and that's better for you. That said, this video is terrible. Reason 1 that it's terrible It's more of the same "My problems are worse than yours and therefore yours don't count" thinking that fuels the gender wars. Reason 2 that it's terrible She is accusing others of being bitter about the past while herself being bitter about the present. She's bitter that men who have obvious value to women are being selective in the present…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:09 PM
5

Yeah, I hear you. I also think we're basically in agreement about everything that matters. I agree that it's bad for men to bring the "women are the ones choosing" mentality into their dating lives. It really makes it harder. I may think this for different reasons than you do, though. ...it makes things harder for men because it encourages women to be more selective, thinking that the man in front of her is not filtering her at all, and not looking to see if the match is compatible. Where I may …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 06:41 PM
19

Oh, I would never tell women this out in the real world. But here we're supposed to be discussing sex and romance in an intellectual way, hopefully with acknowledgement of patently obvious things. We can't just pretend that women don't have so many more people desiring them than men and have many more options. Not that I think women are the sole gatekeepers of sex. It's more complicated than that. But they do have a key advantage of many, many more options. Relationships are different and even m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:32 PM
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Very true. Online everyone is ready to attack a man complaining about issues he faces with stock responses they've recited a thousand times before. In real life women just give blank looks when a man says he faces any kind of difficulty, in any context, due to his gender. Does not compute.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:30 AM
2

Which is a better way to go than suggested in the post, which kind of suggests the woman got into a relationship with a guy she knew was boring to begin with. Better to never settle in the first place. Deep down women know if they're starting a relationship with a man primarily because he's a safe, stable option.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:13 PM
2

All good, man. 👊 I was looking at it again and yeah, it's kind of ambiguous. Maybe a little whiny. Ha.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 02:54 AM
3

Yeah... I agree with all of that. Not sure why you think I don't. I was saying I want to be both. I am both. And I agree completely that you can be safe and reliable and have that edge. My point with that opening rant was how people don't understand that "husband material" is usually a backhanded compliment by saying a man does not have the sexy edge you're talking about. And you're preaching to the choir about the sex stuff. I turn women on and get as rough as they can handle and they love it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 02:35 AM
–

That's one way to look at it. I don't regret having my relationships which ended, even though they ended painfully. I don't perceive them as complete wins or losses. They're all a mix of both. I still had a lot of great, happy moments. I also gained crucial life experience. The pain motivated me to examine what I was doing wrong, like how I wasn't standing up for myself. I am in a much better position to make future relationships more happy and less painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:59 PM
–

Asking an audience who mostly comes to this sub to argue that RP is bullshit what they think about RP ideas is going to get predictable responses. Even if you didn’t explicitly mention RP you know people are going to have their guard up here. The only questions to which I see any candid responses for QFW (and probably QFM too) are ones that don’t address attraction or other pill hot topics, or are only vaguely related.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 04:27 PM
23

Yep. It took a while for me to finally receive that type of desire from a woman for the first time. Now that I know what it feels like there is no way I will go without it. I'd rather be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:55 AM
6

I hear you. I think my experience is similar to yours. I see men pushed around by women in their relationships way more than the other way around. It almost seems like the default sometimes. I don't feel great about having to defend my boundaries so tenaciously in a relationship. Why should there be so much conflict? And when I push back and stand my ground and she switches from attack mode to crying mode I don't know whether she truly needs comfort or she's manipulating me. It's fucking brutal.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:33 AM
11

I understand it feels that way and you want to vent about it. I've felt that way too. It can feel like women are demanding in relationships and are more prone to rock the boat to get what they want. It certainly feels that way to a lot of men. It felt that way to me because I'm naturally pretty conflict averse in a relationship. The reality is people are going to advocate for themselves and push you to try to get what they want. If you do not maintain boundaries they will often push harder. Soon…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 01:31 AM
22

This is like asking women: "Why do you want abortion to be available? Why not just give birth to the child and raise it? Is it anything beyond pure selfishness?" Of course people want choices. Women want choices and men want them too. Personally I think women should have access to abortion and I don't see a better way to do things than give her the final word on the decision to have one or not. As far as "paper abortions" go, I see both sides of the argument and I'm not sure whether this is a go…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 12:56 AM
6

Ok. Let's say a woman who has little interest in sex. I'm not sure I completely understand all the nuances of asexuality in the way you describe it but I've observed that some asexual and graysexual people have sex-adjacent kinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 12:29 AM
67

Safe choice - husband material, highs aren't as high, but the lows aren't as low See, this is why men have hangups about the term "husband material". If women only said things like "He's husband material - he's got his shit together and I'm addicted to fucking him" then this would not be a problematic phrase. But usually it's accompanied by words that contrast the "husband material" man with the exciting and sexy men she truly desires. We want to be stable, dependable, and sexy to a woman. That'…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 12:09 AM
7

I'm fine with it. I don't make any distinction between what we typically categorize as porn and any other titillating content, such as erotica, romance novels, vampire and other romance movies and TV shows, "mommy porn" content, etc. It's all for indulging in a sexual fantasy, just tailored to different tastes. If you're in a relationship then you're fantasizing about others who are not your partner with all of these different types of content. All completely the same to me and all porn in the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 11:49 PM
1

Like any skill, he needs to practice it. If you want to play guitar you pick it up and you practice by actually playing it. Badly at first. Better over time. Reading about it will only get you so far. Same thing for a sport, learning a language, driving a car, etc. For social skills you just need to put yourself in meaningful social interactions on a regular basis. For any of these skills you should consult expert advice and look for things you can improve. For social skills there are hundreds o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 10:12 PM
3

You're right. It's not unreasonable. This is because nothing is inherently "unreasonable" to state as a need in a relationship. If all parties can come to a workable agreement then that's great. If no agreement or compromise can be made then someone can opt out of the relationship. You can state that you need a certain amount of sex, or for a certain type of emotional support, or that you need to share locations on your phones, or that your partner never wears a cowboy hat. Nothing is out of bou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 09:31 PM
11

So masturbation is the standard? If that's the case then it should be ok for a man to watch porn as long as he doesn't masturbate to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:58 PM
2

Awesome! Thanks for reading my rambles. I understand just talking to girls is tricky for boys, but also social skills are way more complex than sexual skills. Girls and boys just need to suck it up and force themselves to socialise together in groups. Yeah, I also agree with your perspective. If I'm giving a younger guy advice I'll try to express understanding and empathy but also get around to the "Ok, now you just have to go out and do it" part as well as the "You're going to make mistakes tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:07 AM
3

It's all good. I also think his comment was showing a lot of bitterness and resentment and was generally kinda shitty. I was trying to see beyond the resentment and shitty tone to try to figure out what he was actually trying to express. Maybe there was actually nothing worth salvaging in there but I interpreted it as having a least a kernel of insight. I understand if it you don't think it was worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 11:14 PM
2

Right. I agree with all of that. I brought up the response to the Nice Guy phenomenon only to point out that men desiring emotional closeness is often disregarded in order to characterize men's desires as purely base, crude, shallow, and toxic. I agree with you that women do not see men's desire for emotional closeness as toxic, but pointing out that it's not always acknowledged that men have these desires in the first place. There is a tendency to say men are only out to get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:55 PM
4

Right. I think this all sounds reasonable. Personally, I feel fortunate with sex. I really like foreplay, passionate kissing, touching all over, nipple sucking (you happened to mention a favorite, ha), and all of it. I just like it for myself and I love getting a response from a woman and driving her crazy. Also the whole dance of reading each other and getting in tune with a lover is more than half of the fun for me. I love to get very intimate in every way and get into each other's heads. Wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:45 PM
5

She’s just frustrated that the relationship dynamic has changed. She’s essentially grieving the loss of the friendship. That's a reasonable and expected response. I think what OP is pushing back against is the tendency to categorize a man who confesses feelings to a former platonic friend must be a manipulative Nice Guy. Part of this is the belief that only looks attract men and therefore he must have had an underhanded agenda from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 09:23 PM
5

I think you're agreeing with me that men need to rely on body language and implicit signals? This is exactly what I'm saying. A man cannot expect a woman to tell him to try to lick her nipples in the first place - he just needs to know. She will usually not say, in explicit language, that she likes it and wants more of it - he needs to read the non-verbal feedback. She will usually not say she does not like the tweaking - she will expect him to interpret the body language and stop that. It seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 09:08 PM
1

I mean, yes, it doesn't explicitly exclude talking about gender diversity and all the possible combinations of genders in relationships. PurplePillDebate is a neutral community to discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to r/TheBluePill and r/TheRedPill. The "specifically those pertaining to r/TheBluePill and r/TheRedPill" is important. Red Pill is explicitly hetero and Blue Pill is only "not Red Pill" so everything is relative to that. I'm not trying to be dick about it, ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 08:45 PM
0

I like the food (as emotional support/intimacy in a relationship) and water (sex) analogy better than the ones I usually see. To me it seems like a better way to explain to men what women go through. Possibly for women to understand men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 08:36 PM
4

I agree with this statement 100% and I suggest everyone follow this for themselves. That is, never expect anyone to know what your needs are and proactively satisfy them for you. The only people in the world who should expect to get this are children. But the world doesn't work that way. While I believe everyone should plainly state their desires and take responsibility for their needs, I rarely experience this. I'll just comment on my personal experience with women. Maybe men are similar. No id…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 08:28 PM
3

This is a sub about hetero romance. I acknowledge and accept intersex people as well as diversely gendered people but bringing those topics up or using careful wording to be super inclusive seems like a waste of time and keystrokes on this sub. It's off topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:02 AM
1

Almost everything in life has an aspect of luck. The best person for the job will not always get it. The best team will not always win the championship. And so on. Yet the people who do maximize the value they produce are usually more successful than the ones who don't, especially in the long run. This is true in romance as well. And as with careers and sports, many things are outside of your control (genetics, class, race, family situation, life circumstances) and it's not "fair" that we are de…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:25 PM
6

I believe what he is talking about is that when men lament their lack of romantic relationships their problems are often trivialized as being just a base desire for sex. For example, when people criticize Nice Guys they say things like "Women are not machines where you put kindness coins in and sex comes out." While the Nice Guy is completely wrong in his approach, he is often seeking the full experience of a romantic relationship, including emotional intimacy. But this is dismissed as merely a …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:20 PM
2

You see these constant posts trying to justify age gap relationships and passport bros, with the goal of trying to convince women to agree that those things are ethical... [...] If seeking out an age gap relationship or going overseas to third world women is what will make you happy, then you should try to achieve that... I'm not saying that age gap relationships or passport bros aren't topics worthy of some amount of discussion but these things are just brought up so much on here. It's hard to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 01:13 AM
1

I don’t want children. If I did then maybe I would think differently, not sure. I’ve not had great experiences with long term relationships. I was not confident and was bad at setting boundaries earlier in life so part of that was my fault. I’m a lot more attractive now and am valued and treated so much better by women now because of it. So I have a better shot at long term happiness with someone. Still, it’s no guarantee a woman will not cheat or just get bored and leave. If I’m not married I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 06:07 AM
0

Nah. I understand the motivation and that it's theoretically good for everyone. I feel like taking offense at this would be too sensitive. Even if it contributes to the pedestalization of women it's a drop in the bucket.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 09:28 PM
1

"Red Pill" is so broad it's an almost meaningless term. Depending on what is in your head when you're saying this I either agree with you completely or not at all. If you're talking about the endless stream of YouTube and other social media content I agree. I've hardly watched any of that stuff but it doesn't seem very useful and, yes, need to keep users coming back to make money. If you're talking about the reading list on the sidebar of r/marriedredpill, for example, then I disagree. This is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 06:59 PM
1

Basically agree with the advice. Emphasizing partnership and offering help and support is almost always good. I theorize people, especially women, get upset over their SO telling them to lose weight because its expecting someone to put in hard work for someone else’s convenience/desires. Why should it be upsetting that your partner has desires? The entire relationship is about satisfying each other's desires. If a woman told me she desires more communication or emotional closeness should I ever …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 06:39 PM
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For me, as long as a woman is passionate, somewhat expressive, and not too reserved about trying things it will usually be good sex. I like to take the lead so she doesn’t have to be too creative, though that can help. For a man it depends. Good sex for a woman usually starts days before, when texting her and increasing sexual tension. Making her feel safe and comfortable are prerequisites. Having confidence makes her feel calm. Taking the lead takes the pressure off of her to perform. Women don…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:22 PM
3

I think I understand what you mean. You seem to be talking about something casual. I find women like little gestures, a little gift, the occasional nice date in that situation. But you're right, if you overdo it they will lose attraction. It's just a manifestation of the rule that you cannot show more investment in a woman than she has in you at a particular moment. If you show too much or show it too early she will view you as clingy, creepy, pathetic, desperate, and just plain unattractive. In…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 03:40 AM
5

Yeah, I agree with you. "Normal" people have all of these same resentments about gender. They just don't talk about them to keep the peace. At least people here have spent some time thinking about things and usually avoid obvious hypocrisy and double standards. I don't think the average woman on here has a ton of sympathy for men in general. But more often than not in the real world if you get talking about these things you'll find a lot of the women in your group have absolutely zero sympathy f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 03:27 AM
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I identify with the feelings of this. I also have a good amount of pessimism but I still believe there are good relationships to be had. A woman will test you for weakness. It's just the way it is. She will find out if you're willing to set and enforce boundaries and if you are ultimately willing to walk away when they are violated. It feels bad. It feels like an attack. It kind of is. But a woman feels insecure with a man who isn't sufficiently strong and doesn't have respect for himself. I've …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 12:28 AM
12

You should change that and start respecting yourself. If you're saying men won't get much sympathy for being abused or neglected you're absolutely right. You're lucky if anyone gives a fuck. But you should give a fuck about yourself and do something about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:25 PM
31

I've had really, really bad sex where I was thinking the whole time I wished it was over. I forced myself to have a "pity orgasm" completely for her sake by fantasizing about something else. I would have walked out halfway through but I stuck around, made her come, and made sure to come myself, all to try to make her have a good experience and not feel bad about herself. I did this because the times I have been unable to have an orgasm with a woman (happens occasionally, even with women who I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:16 PM
18

I don’t think this is about using the word material. It’s about the context. If a woman told me I’d “make a great husband” or I’m “husband material” I’d take it as a compliment because it could easily mean I’m the “total package”. I would still wonder a bit what she meant, knowing how women can use this kind of phrase, but not jump to conclusions. The context would help me know what she thinks about me. The examples we’ve seen where guys (very reasonably) freak out is when she says something lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 07:10 PM
1

I wouldn't consider her desire for you any less real than a real woman's desire for you, since she is also just compelled by her biological programming to reproduce with you. I get what you mean. It makes sense intellectually to a degree but I can't make it makes sense emotionally. Part of it is that she does not have a choice to desire me in the first place, since she's a paid product. You mention, and expand on it in your edit, that she is very complex and has her own tastes, likes/dislikes, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 06:15 PM
15

No. I seek real human connection, acceptance, and understanding. The android would not have gone through real experiences that we can relate to and connect with each other over. “She” would be programmed to accept me, so it’s not acceptance or understanding that does anything for me. I also am not interested in sex with a prostitute because I know there is no genuine desire. That would give me zero satisfaction. I’d rather jerk off. A high fidelity sex doll I’m even less interested in. But you m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:27 AM
3

Pretty much. Red Pill is correlated with conservative views (or what passes for conservative in the US these days) and has a lot of alt-right types associated with it. If we’re talking US politics I’d say they also hate immigrant/refugee women and children as well because of the threat of changing American culture by their mere presence here and capability to reproduce, now or in the future. No violence necessary. But yeah, most of the rhetoric from politicians is of the “bad hombres” variety, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 02:25 AM
5

I agree with everything you said and I embrace the same attitude. Women will fuck a man who they find sexy, regardless of what he pays. I almost always plan cheap, easy, fun dates and only plan a nice dinner if I feel like it. I can't see any correlation between amount spent by me and their interest, their attraction to me, or how much they want to fuck me. So yeah, that all sounds good. You are coming at this from the frame of believing that you HAVE to take the woman out on an expensive, tradi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 07:40 PM
4

Thanks a lot for this. It feels great to me to arrive at any kind of mutual understanding on these things. I was thinking about being knee jerk reactive to your comment and jumping to conclusions that you were participating in the oppression Olympics. There is a lot of "My problems are worse than yours and therefore yours don't count" going around in these gender discussions. Sexual assault and other fears for bodily safety are often used as a trump card. And, well, it's a pretty good trump card…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 08:34 PM
3

I generally agree with what you're saying. There are legitimate reasons that women are wary of men and it's only rational to exercise care. I think there are ways to be cognizant of this without causing overly negative views of half of humanity but even so I try to understand that there can be legitimate fear, pain, or trauma behind it. What I meant with the "I don't know how to feel about this" part is that it still feels strange to be a member of a group that someone views very negatively and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 07:31 PM
33

I’ve been friends with and dated many women whose perspective can be summed up as “Men are terrible, but you’re ok/one of the good ones”. I don’t know how to feel about this, honestly. Maybe the same way you feel as you’re asking this question. It’s not uncommon for people to feel worn down or frustrated by the opposite sex yet would feel something is missing from their lives without a relationship with one of the group they complain about.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:14 AM
4

Basically agree, in the sense that a man showing weakness will lower his social status and desirability as a mate. This is true with males in other species, notably other primates, as well as humans. This is especially true with anything close to self pity or even any kind of appeal to fairness or better treatment for himself (for others is different). The only acceptable way for a man to "ask" for fair treatment is to state a boundary that he can and will plausibly enforce. This, of course, can…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:08 PM
1

I don't disagree. If this is not a serious proposal and is just meant to highlight the entitlement that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:42 PM
3

I don't really care. If I like her otherwise I'll think it's cute. I don't have much of an opinion beyond that. It's just something people do. I think it gets some hate online because it's an attention grabbing thing which can be seen as ostentatious. If you're being curmudgeonly online you'll seize on that. I don't watch much anime at all so my opinion isn't formed by that. I associate it somewhat with women with liberal views. There was a post here recently about differences between conservati…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:47 PM
1

She gives me warm fuzzies
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 05:26 AM
2

I know what you mean and I think it's a thing. From my observations, conservative women are more likely to lean into obviously catering to the male gaze. More cleavage and lower cut tops, for one thing. Liberal women tend to not want to be so obvious about it, presumably to not seem to be selling out to men's tastes. Still, lots of liberal women recognize the power of being attractive so they find a way to show off their bodies regardless. Butts are in and tight pants that flatter the backside a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 05:16 AM
1

I've seen the movie and I think it taps into real feelings that real people have. I think almost everyone in a relationship has done a little fantasizing about other people, whether it's a friend, a friend of their partner, a movie star, a porn star, whoever. With that in mind... 1 - I'd usually rather not know. Of course she's going to think about sex with someone else sometimes. I'd only want to know if it truly became an obsession, either with one person or the idea of cheating in general. 2 …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 03:32 AM
5

I don't believe in the wall to begin with. Women have lots of men interested in them their whole lives. Men roughly in their "league" at least. The options even above their league are endless if they just want to explore sexually. Still have to put yourself out there to find your best relationship options but no way they are going to dry up, especially in your 30s. That's young IMO. I know men don’t generally favor women who have slept around or even career women but having your life and emotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 02:13 AM
1

I believe you have it really hard, man. I don't have the perfect words to help you. I wish I did. All I can say is that I know your problems are real. Your pain is real. You're almost certainly treated worse by a lot of people and feel shut out of the dating world for something that's largely no fault of your own. Some other people will add insult to injury by hating on you for saying you've got it bad or they'll say it's all your fault somehow and that's bullshit. I certainly don't want to be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:22 AM
1

Yeah, it's a tough situation for sure. If I can continue with the employment analogy... The lowest tier attractiveness man is about the equivalent of a burger flipper at McDonald's. The value he offers on the market is he can do a menial task that takes minimal on-the-job training. He may say "I only get paid minimum wage for this? That sucks." It does suck. But that's what the market offers for his skill level. The equivalent in dating is that a man on the lowest tier can usually get a lowest t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 11:24 PM
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Women are turned off when a man has greater investment in her than she has in him, at any point. If a man shows or expresses feelings for a woman and she does not feel the same way or stronger it will be a turn off for her. If they are involved it will often put the relationship at risk. If she feels the same way or stronger she will be thrilled when he expresses this. If a man is head over heels in love and wants to spend every second with her then this is great for her if she feels the same. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:48 PM
0

It's the same answer I would give someone who says they don't have opportunities for the top jobs, due to lack of educational opportunities, connections, intelligence, whatever. If you can get into a skilled trade that is way better than unskilled labor. Most people can do that. If you really can only be an unskilled laborer or a greeter at Walmart then so be it, but you should exhaust all opportunities before giving up. Not everyone can make 300k but 60 or 40 is better than 15 and gives you a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:33 PM
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It's usually in the context of dating. On PPD we talk about that a lot, so you're going to hear it a lot on here. It is patently easier for a woman to get a date. When men struggle with romance they're usually struggling to get dates at all, so it seems like the hardest part is easy for women. And well, this is true. The hard part for men is easy for women. There's a grass is greener effect in that women tend to have other problems in dating and romance. It's just hard to relate because a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:16 PM
1

I agree with the title. I don't think men should spend too much time fretting about their height, basic face shape, and other physical things they can change. These are very important to women and may limit your options but your job is to live up to your full potential. Worrying you don't have the potential of the most attractive man leads to defeatism. Don’t spend all your time worrying about the money that you don’t make, the physical features you don’t have, the weight that you can’t lift in …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:00 PM
5

Women are pretty cool in real life, usually. They're distrustful of men who are strangers, for good reasons, but if they're acquainted with you they're not going to prejudge you to be some bad guy. In fact, they'll usually give you the benefit of the doubt on this. They'll also take your personal problems seriously, will empathize, and will not assume all of your problems are due to your own self-sabotage. So overall it's way different than Reddit. It's almost the opposite. You should really try…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:12 PM
4

Some women do and I respect them for that. The rest, like you say, are probably happy with the results. I don't blame them. I'm not saying women should approach or change their behavior at all. All I'm saying is that approaching takes guts, including when glances were exchanged ahead of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 04:25 AM
9

I appreciate when women send me these signals, a lot. It’s better than going in blind… though I also do that too. Still, if men attempt to “initiate” interactions in this same way then nobody actually talks to each other. Someone has to take the rather large step from suggestion into substantive action. I’ve heard women say many times that they make it obvious that men will have a positive response if they approach, with glances in his direction and body language. That’s all well and good but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:10 AM
1

When women hear "You're dressing that way for men" they often get defensive because it feels like an accusation of being a Pick Me or an insinuation that they're on a mission to get some dick right now. To be fair, some guys basically believe the latter when they see a woman dressed "provocatively" so the defensiveness is not for no reason. So some men take it too far and try to say women dress up 100% for men. This isn't true. This causes women to have their guard up and start saying they dress…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:57 PM
7

Probably their lives wouldn’t be much different, if at all, from women with a count of 7 (the average for women) or 3. I may be out of touch but I don’t see this fixation on body count and the “purity” of women much out in the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:03 PM
1

One of the core tenets of Red Pill is "You cannot negotiate attraction." If some guy is saying otherwise he's hardly Red Pill. You should be asking Black Pillers or incels instead. -- As an aside, this was one of the best takeaways I got from RP. People say you can find a lot of Red Pill advice elsewhere and a good deal of the rest of it is suspect. That's true. But I had never seen this anywhere else, at least not expressed so succinctly. It was very impactful to me and remains so. Not understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:51 PM
1

It's curious to me that some purple flaired women seem to have a zero tolerance policy about this. Doesn't Purple suggest you've considered some ideas from Red Pill, contextualized them, and integrated the salvageable parts into your views? Can't a man do this too? Then again, OP may be suggesting that the guy is adopting the ideas uncritically. In that case it makes sense. But just having awareness of this stuff and ending up as "Purple" seems like it should be tolerated, at least by other "Pur…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:17 PM
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It says it's "spun from the softest wool" but I can't find out if it's 100% wool or a blend or what type of wool it is. I'd figure out those details first. 🧐
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 08:42 PM
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Sure. From this description there's no reason to believe he wasn't her true love who she would be with until the end of her life if she could. Can't fault her for wanting companionship after he died. If I were the brother I'd want my wife to be happy after I died and wouldn't fault her for seeking whatever happiness she could find.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 08:38 PM
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In order of most useful to least: Books/audiobooks. Online courses (many have videos if that works well with your learning style). Podcasts. YouTube. Well-known books are usually the authoritative sources of information on these kinds of topics. Courses can also give an excellent overview. Some podcasts are great but not always good as an introduction or starting point. YouTube videos can be good but more as a light snack, where books are the main course.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 08:30 PM
6

I don't think we should worry about the species dying out until globally we're not at replacement level, but birth rate is a legitimate concern in a country, for economic reasons if nothing else. Maybe we agree on most of that. I am more likely to take arguments along these lines seriously in different contexts. On here I think they often have other motives, sometimes transparently so. Probably not always.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 02:20 AM
9

Thanks for explaining. It makes more sense now. I think the confusion is you not wanting to acknowledge that the sentiment I'm talking about is real and actually exists, so you're trying to convey it as something else. Now that I understand better, I see what you mean. But the sentiment is expressed as a means to an end. The real issue is the imbalance of desire between men and women. These guys express these things about children as an attempt to negotiate desire. It's "If you don't want us, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 01:19 AM
1

I think it's a factor. I just don't think it's the biggest factor. With this lopsidedness it should be the golden age of dating for hetero women. Like you said, "obviously women have an easier time dating, just based on ratios alone". But do women see it this way? The most common complaints that I observe from men and women are as follows. I don't believe this is controversial at all. Men: "There are so many acceptable women but very few or none of them want me" Women: "There are so many men but…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:44 AM
7

Of course not. I'm confused. Do you think this is the core issue on PPD? There are some very traditional guys here and I suppose some of them think it's an individual woman's obligation to reproduce. The rest of the guys are fretting over how they think the average man is not considered attractive enough to women. I believe what they have in mind is mostly companionship and sex. Marriage and children are also considerations sometimes but I don't think the primary one. You can read an implied obl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:06 AM
1

My point was that men will seek support and answers online because it's a huge part of our lives that is not going away. This was meant as a response to you saying men should get these things from their friends. I still maintain that good online options can and should exist as a supplement and possibly a sole source for isolated men. The answers you posted are fine, even if superficial. But I don't believe finding a few neutral answers disproves that men are often judged for talking about their …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 10:34 PM
6

Another response has already called this out, but it's curious to me that you call yourself Blue rather than Purple. I don't think you would have ended up where you are, with your "much more nuanced understanding of the truth" without seeking some answers outside of Blue Pill. Without that RP experience to round out your perspective I don't think you'd be where you are. I appreciate your story, though, and I think you're in a great place. Similar journey as me. Labelling is a minor thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:02 PM
2

1. Why are you your pill? Mainstream advice did not work for me. In fact, listening to conventional wisdom and advice from those around me (mostly women because that's who I asked the most) harmed me a lot more than if I had just relied on my own observations. When I brought up concerns that attracting women didn't seem to work the way Blue Pill says I was told that I was mistaken and was assured that women evaluate men exclusively on very virtuous, deep characteristics and that a nice guy like …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 08:50 PM
4

Today, a lot of men (thousands? tens of thousands?) typed something like "Why won't any woman date me?" or "Why am I still a virgin?" into Google. They will continue doing this on what ever search technology is available in the future, regardless of whether you or I think they should ask their friends this instead (supposing they have friends). We should have positive spaces for men to find in their search results. Places where they can ask these questions, find others struggling with the same t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:17 AM
8

I don't disagree that real friends are the best place to get support for your most intimate issues. But online forums can be a valuable tool for connecting with others on any topic. I can talk about my weightlifting program, a show I'm watching, how to fix my car, and any cultural issue I can think of. Why we not have this type of community to connect people? Should we just give up because people think any guy who vents his romantic struggles online is a toxic asshole? Some of the advice that wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:02 AM
1

Very important distinction. Hard fucking has been what women have told me was their favorite part of the sexual experience, more than any other thing. This includes if I made them orgasm with clitoral stimulation at another point. The thing is it's after making out, touching, foreplay, stimulating her dozens of different ways, bringing the tension up and down, and dirty talk until she's begging to be fucked hard (often just with body language). For some this takes 5 minutes, for others an hour, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 10:23 PM
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Probably relevant: I'm a liberal man who is distressed about the results of the last election and wondering what the fuck to do about it. I think the current situation of an enormous political gender gap among young people is due to a culmination of a lot of factors to produce a perception that Democrats are the party that is for women and liberals as a group are for women... and by omission they are against men. I don't think this perception is completely fair. Democrats do more practical thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 08:52 PM
2

In my experience, women don't care about balls. Most women have a preference about size and shape of a penis and some care a lot, but balls are just kind of there. They might be confused if they were totally missing but with prostheses I'm guessing everything looks and feels normal down there. I don't think most women would care if they are real or not except for the issue of whether you're fertile, and then only if they want their own biological kids with you. That could be a hurdle. Other than…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:23 AM
-4

There is some garden variety misogyny involved. Some of these guys just want to crap on women, plain and simple. Some of this is caused by envy. A woman with a great body can make a fitness account and she will get 10x the followers as some guy with similar expertise and fitness level because people (probably mostly hetero men?) like to gawk at her body. And of course she may play this up with a gratuitous amount of videos of her ass but I don't blame her. I'd do it too if I were her and trying …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 10:12 PM
1

there's still going to be a top percentage of men. Yes, of course I agree with this. It's patently true that there are some men (and women) who are more popular than the rest. Men becoming even better, as women suggest, won't solve much This is title of the post and the main thrust of his argument. I don't agree that a man can't improve himself and benefit from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 12:27 AM
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Women do decide men's SMV. And we determine theirs. (If we're talking about hetero people, of course) Also, you apparently don't know what's hot, at all. It's a good thing to figure out, for your own benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 12:15 AM
3

Unhygienic? As others have pointed out, this is patently ridiculous. Our hair serves an evolutionary purpose. Grooming customs, for men and women, are just arbitrary cultural developments that change over time and place to place. Now, I think I understand where this beef of yours is coming from and I don't completely disagree there is some annoyance to be felt. Often women freely express their preferences for men's face and body hair. Women say whether they like beards, stubble, or clean shaven.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 11:13 PM
1

Sure. You can ask your wife for an open relationship. You can make any agreements you want with a romantic partner. At least you can try, that is. Of course you have no guarantee they will agree with your proposal and then, in this case, your only options are divorce or lying/cheating. I don't disagree with the idea that men not being sexually desired in a relationship is not recognized as a "legitimate" problem nearly as much as a woman not receiving emotional support in a relationship. The lat…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 09:09 PM
3

If we're talking about relationships then I agree. Some women are pretty good at just expressing what they need calmly. The reality is it's not always going to be this way and sometimes you're going to be dealing with an upset woman who is not expressing what her needs are clearly. I've read some books that reframe this situation much like you do. They say that it's a good thing that a woman is expressing to you that she is hurting. She is telling you because she believes that you can satisfy he…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 07:48 PM
1

Yeah, women can pretty easily get men above their level if they're just looking for sex. I think that's obvious but it can be a little controversial. For my comment I wanted to stay with something everyone can agree is true, to not distract from the main point.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 11:42 PM
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Yes. It sounds like they had genuine desire from the beginning. You have the basis for a real romantic relationship. Now you can figure out if you work well together as partners. The opposite is where I am wary. When someone only recognizes you as a friend or a practical partner and has to talk themself into desiring you then it's likely a desire that is not genuine and won't last long. "Growing on someone" is possible but relatively rare and I've learned not to trust this.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 08:27 PM
5

We should avoid judgment of people who are more casual about our interests. There is always a bigger nerd about a topic and I don't want to be judged by them either. But I see what you mean and I don't disagree. We need to have broad interests and keep it on the surface level for the most part. Most people are not nerdy about many things, so going deep on something immediately shows poor social calibration. When you find someone who is obsessed about the same thing, then you can go deep and mayb…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 07:47 PM
6

I don't disagree, but we can't force culture to change. We're on our own there. We can attempt to change policy and laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 07:15 PM
4

For the sake of discussion, let's say that women do always date up. What are you going to do about it? You're going to improve yourself to give yourself the best chances. This is the same whether women always date up or not. It doesn't even matter if it's true or not. Your course of action is the same. Now, let's say the status quo changes, all men start making 6 figs, all men get more in shape, there's still going to be a top percentage of men. I agree with this! The top men will get the majori…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 07:11 PM
1

If you want understanding and commiserating on how people on the left tend to crap on men constantly, you have that from me. It's open season to say anything about men, use any generalization, and demonize us. I say this as a moderately liberal person. But this negative talk about men happens primarily in private spaces and particularly online. I don't see Biden or Harris trashing men. This happens on Reddit and any other place where left-leaning people collect online. I don't think DEI is neces…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 06:57 PM
1

Good question and I love the cooperative spirit of it. I think certain things are unfixable. There will always be more men because they tend to be more thirsty. If any company is trying to maximize profits they will always be trying to collect as much money as possible from the bottom 80% of men, because that's who is desperate enough to pay. If the company becomes public the board will insist on wringing this group dry any way they can. I think the only way to have a dating platform that sincer…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:55 PM
1

Yeah, I don't mean to say women can be completely passive and wait for everything to happen for them. I think the experience is very different for women but I recognize there are struggles. Perhaps naturally, I can't help but fixate on the experience of my younger self and guys like I was, where putting myself out there didn't get results for a long time. Then getting some small signs of interest but striking out and sometimes getting rejected harshly before finally getting it together and havin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:37 AM
2

I don't think I can overstate how much they don't know how to put themselves out there, and would ridiculously uncomfortable doing it. Yeah, it's true. Women can't be 100% passive and expect something to happen. As much as I like to think I understand women and romance, I still have a tendency to assume that if a woman doesn't want to engage with men it's because she's not interested, not because she's afraid of engaging. For men I almost always assume they are afraid, not disinterested. This is…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:33 AM
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That's a good point! Looking good for photos is next level thinking about appearance that mostly only women do. This would work as long as photos don't get so high def that someone can zoom in and see what I'm doing. 🧐 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:43 AM
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Pretty good list. The only one that seems a bit iffy is the brow/beard pencil. I think some women might perceive that one as wearing makeup (because it is) and a bit too feminine. Might make you look good if you can get away with it, though! Haha. You have to get it just right in that "no makeup look" zone that women go for as well. Personally I'm not gonna chance it. 😄 The rest of these items I'd say guys are just lazy if they don't do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:10 AM
2

I hear you. I think I understand. I believe the common theme of your comment and the one from Elev2019 is that, for a lot of women, being sexually desired isn't getting them anything. Or at least not getting them anything they want. For the women you describe I agree. It's not really getting them anything they want... at least at the moment. The nuance I'd like to articulate is that there is still a passive value to it that could come into play if these same women decide to seek romantic partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:29 AM
3

First of all, thanks for the comment. It's a sincere appeal for increased empathy. It's the type of comment we should have more of on here, rather than gender wars antagonism. I don't mind at all that's it's from a female perspective. You seem open to trying to understand the male perspective and men should be open to understanding yours. I've read through your description of how it feels for a woman to only being desired for sex. It lines up with other things accounts I've heard and read from w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:02 AM
2

Red Pill guys would describe this as a comfort test and not a shit test. A shit test is testing for attractive behaviors. A comfort test is testing for caring, investment, and commitment. ...but I don't disagree that this would be an extremely dumb thing for the guy to do and would be him playing games, if that was his intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 07:13 PM
62

I'll quibble with semantics. Men and women have similar plights in that they can be starved for a certain type of attention and opportunity. For women it tends to be relationships and for men it's sex (and often relationships too). For men the term "invisible" is more applicable because they are not viewed as attractive at all. No sex. Usually no relationships too, though maybe eventually they can get a relationship... with the usual concerns of being settled for. Women aren't usually "invisible…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 07:04 PM
2

Let's flip this around to a situation where men tend to not be upfront with their intentions and women are the ones being used. "Everyone knows" that a lot of men are just out for sex. Women themselves emphasize looks and physical qualities for attracting men to get into a relationship with them. Only ignorant people could reasonably think that looks aren't important, especially for women. Women should have ample awareness that men are often driven by sex and they should be cautious and take ste…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 06:39 PM
1

I would prefer the old way, where a man at least was aware upfront that the value he was bringing to the relationship was purely economic and practical. Much better than being settled for, thinking you’re valued for more than that, and discovering over time that you’re not. I’m not saying that the majority of women settle for men or anything, but having experienced being settled for I don’t think we should dismiss the pain of that situation. The thing that’s missing is the honesty. Everyone says…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 04:09 PM
8

For all its flaws, this is one of the only places I've found on the internet where there are at least some people who discuss women realistically, with nuanced advice for how hetero men should approach romance with them. Elsewhere on the internet women are either the purest angels or the most evil villains, with little in between. I come here because I find some pretty good ideas that I wouldn't have encountered elsewhere. Debating is a way to try to arrive at deeper insights about these topics.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:10 PM
0

If you had stated "the size of it is greatly exaggerated and people believing otherwise is unhealthy" right off the bat that would have been a great comment. 💯 I agree with that as a response to the "every woman is fucking Chad every weekend" kind of assertion. BTW you're usually a straight shooter and at least positive, which I appreciate. My only quibble this time around is that you stated you knew the number, based on assumptions made about an article based on some guy who made an estimate ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 04:10 PM
0

And think on it. If only 10 percent are hooking up on a weekend then 90 percent aren’t. How many do you think of the 90 are going out every weekend trying to hookup? You're asking me to speculate and make assumptions on a number that we have no idea where it came from or if it means anything at all. He says "The actual percentage on any given weekend is closer to 5 to 10 percent." 5 to 10 percent? Which one is it? If this is based on actual data shouldn't it be a precise number? This article is …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 03:43 PM
1

The article says that 10% of people are hooking on a given weekend. It says nothing about what percentage does this regularly. And the source for that info is that some guy said it in a book. We don't know the methodology or sample size he used. At least the studies OP posted give us this information.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:43 PM
2

I'm not sure. I have paid for some features sometimes. Usually when there is limited swiping per day and I want more, when I'm traveling for example. I don't notice too much difference in bots and other fake users in these scenarios. Mostly it's app dependent. Tinder is packed full of fake accounts - bots, Instagram/OF promoters, etc. A lot of the real people are just on there because they're bored and want validation with no intention to go on a date. It's a complete mess. Bumble and Hinge seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:15 AM
6

Close. They're designed to give men who are unlikely to be successful on dating apps (most men) enough false hope to stick around and keep paying. I'm one of the lucky few who is photogenic enough (and tall enough, let's be honest) to be viable on these apps and they all work great. Dates on demand. If they want to keep everyone single/dateless then they aren't doing a good job.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 11:13 PM
2

Good. You should regard people who are unnecessarily unkind with suspicion. I'm fairly tall and height is usually not an issue for me but I hate when women shit on short men. They are instantly disqualified. I think you should do the same for men who generalize and ridicule groups of women. To clarify, I don't think it's bad to state a preference about either of these things. The bad part is demonizing or deriding the group you don't prefer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 11:00 PM
1

I appreciate the unique take on this, but I have to say I disagree with the conclusions. For the bird species, the males have adopted the role of more investment in offspring because, being smaller weaker, that is all that they have to contribute to the propagation of the species. We still see the dynamic of the larger/stronger sex competing on strength and status (and genes that promote strength) and the smaller/weaker sex being selective and offering benefits in process of reproduction as the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:30 PM
10

Everyone knows dating is competing. It's just a question of what we're competing on. For women it's clear. Better looks win. For relationships some other factors come into play. For men it's not so clear. Some say it's attitude, confidence, and charm. Some say it's looks. Some say it's status. I say it's all three of these. Others say it's kindness and loyalty, but really those only come into play in relationships, as they do for women as well. OP is just saying that status is very important for…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 06:51 PM
6

You're talking about two definitions of "standards" here. The video talks about standards in the sense of not accepting a situationship. This is when a man is desirable enough but he is not willing to commit to or invest in a particular woman. You seem to be talking about standards in a different sense. "Males are not putting in effort" and "Women aren't being impressed" and "Males end up striking out left and right". Seems like you're saying that men are just not good or desirable enough for wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 06:22 PM
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I don't have any fear that Trump will negatively affect my life directly. He doesn't have the will or attention span to do anything consequential with his presidency. It's almost all just entertainment, monetization, and brand building for him. I'll be completely fine, especially as an upper middle class white guy. But never forget that Trump was only missing a compliant vice president and a handful of Republican legislators to cancel the voting result and reinstall himself as president by fiat.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:21 PM
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I don't think you need to. I would wonder why a girlfriend would tell me this because women who are average or above get hit on constantly. I suppose if she seemed worried about it then it would be a little cute (the first few times) but depending on the tone I'd wonder if she was trying to make me jealous. Very few guys are hot enough to get hit on regularly out of the blue. It's an interesting enough occurrence for most guys that I would assume he's telling you because it was curious and out o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 08:34 PM
1

I don't call myself RP because I don't buy into AWALT and all women are terrible stuff. But focusing on the attraction principles from RP and diligently applying them worked for me, spectacularly. Undeniably. Worked with all women too. Smart, confident, clever, secure, and experienced as well as women without these traits. Director-level women at Fortune 500 companies and bartenders. Take no shit from anyone "boss bitches" and timid little flowers. All of them. So asking me to believe what you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:43 AM
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https://theonion.com/new-dating-site-suggests-people-you-already-know-but-th-1819578177/ New Dating Site Suggests People You Already Know But Thought You Were Too Good For SAN FRANCISCO—Saying love could be as close as a neighbor or colleague you’ve never once found yourself remotely interested in, new dating website OnSecondThought.com launched this week with a promise to pair users with people they already know but thought they were too good for. “On Second Thought uses a compatibility formula…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:12 PM
5

I don't disagree with this idea. I'm open minded about this issue. Personally I'm just trying to survey the landscape of popular thought among left/right groups. I'm not drawing conclusions yet, mostly because I'm only familiar with liberal spaces. See my comment at the same level as yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 11:20 PM
3

FYI despite it maybe seeming like I'm arguing that women are more negative about men than vice versa, I actually don't know. As a left-leaning person, I have more liberal friends and am exposed to more liberal discourse around issues. Due to this, I see a lot more negativity about men than women. I don't really know how women are talked about in conservative spaces, unless you count Red Pill, which is arguably an alt-right movement. I think almost all gender-specific groups tend toward grievance…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 10:58 PM
1

Not sure. It's possible that a measure of negativity directed toward a particular gender is better captured by the quantity of upvotes for negative content. This is much harder to dig into and it's also difficult to have an objective standard of negativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 08:59 PM
67

TwoX members: 14M PPD members: 133k
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 07:12 PM
3

For what it's worth I read your comment and upvoted. I think you nailed it on all points. I'd respond more if I had anything to add to it. Haha. Feel free to pick apart my other comment if you'd like.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 12:45 AM
1

Interesting topic. I like discussing it. I'm fairly kinky myself. I'm a sexually dominant man, so I tend to operate in the more typical dynamic, but I'm open minded and interested in what turns everybody on. I'm trying to parse what you mean here and throughout the post and I'm not sure I'm getting it. Specifically I'm not sure what exactly you are saying is "good" or "bad" femdom or if you are just saying that you wish femdom in any form would be more accepted. I'll just state what I think and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 11:56 PM
0

I totally feel the same frustration. People feel like voting Democrat is going to somehow empower the PC thought police to enforce their culture on everybody. Why do people not fear that voting Republican will inflict right wing culture on everyone else? No idea. In reality whoever is president doesn't impose any culture on anybody. One thing the nuts at Breitbart got right is "politics is downstream from culture". It doesn't go the other way. > Of course, I'm just pointing out that all their ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 10:57 PM
0

I'm with you on that. What does Kamala Harris have to do with the tone of discourse around men in liberal spaces? Like all politicians, she's careful not to alienate any large voting blocks, so it's not like she's spouting anti-man rhetoric. That said, people tend to vote with their tribe, whether we like it or not. I think it's stupid to just vote for the favored candidate of the people who like you more. People should vote for what they think is right, not with their emotions. But not all peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 08:12 PM
3

Any musical skill is damn hot to me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:09 AM
11

I don’t know how OP is defining it, but I would define it as: Having one set of standards, not finding success with those, then consciously lowering one or more of those standards to entertain a relationship with a previously unacceptable option. In other words, it’s not that the current man is not the hottest a woman has ever been with. It’s that her previous standards excluded him from consideration before and now he is only considered after failure with other men. Edit: deleted a repetitive w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:06 AM
1

It should all be authentic, but I do play up real parts of myself to turn a woman on. For example, I may dirty talk more than I otherwise would if it didn’t turn women on. I’m telling her my real thoughts about how hot she looks and how good she feels. But I’m making myself vocalize them a little more. I’m also naturally dominant sexually but I play that up even more because women love it. I also play up my orgasm a bit because women have said time and again how much they love that part after a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 09:08 PM
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We wanted some different things. She wanted to settle down and have children. I might be willing to settle down but I don't want children. I'm still not 100% sure I wouldn't be happier with her, regardless, so I have some thoughts that I didn't make the right decision. I think I did but it still hurts sometimes when I think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 09:00 PM
1

For something casual, sure. For something serious, no, unless there was a very good reason. Usually some kind of emergency.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:45 PM
3

Well, this is the purpose of dating! To find out if both partners want compatible things in life. Apart from casual sex, nothing is gained by hiding your true wants. It's better to find out sooner than later what each partner's deal-breakers are. I agree. The question is more of whether many women would recognize this as a valid want or essentially none will. I'm not sure if it's a valid want myself or if it's paranoia. This is very much a special case. I don't think many other things are in thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:20 PM
3

The issue is that many women cherry pick certain aspects of traditional relationships that they want and not others, and that is confusing to men, many of whom are not certain what role they are supposed to play in this day and age. Thanks for recognizing this. It is confusing. Honestly I don't mind paying at all. I'm also a high wage earner and I'm completely indifferent to how much a date costs and who pays. For me it's just a signal of her character and values. If she is consistent with tradi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:59 PM
2

Thanks for the balanced take. I don't weigh in on this issue much and I don't plan to have kids so this is an almost purely academic thing for me. I agree that it's painful to ask for one out of nowhere and men should recognize that. What I'm trying to figure out is if it's likely to be received better if talked about ahead of time. If you talk about it right away in a new relationship it's less personal, less likely to be interpreted as directed at the woman he's with. But... it's kind of weird…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:27 PM
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I've only basically read the headlines here and I'm not too familiar with the specifics of what Jordan Peterson is all about, but from what I gather, I agree with Peterson on the MGTOW phenomenon. I don't disagree that men get less rewards for their effort in labor and romance than we used to. Women have their own problems with romance but one with men is we have so many fewer options to filter on right off the bat, so it can seem hopeless to even get in the game. But I still would tell almost a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:54 PM
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I have my doubts, but I hope she's telling the truth and they're both happy
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:57 PM
3

This Tiktok is a joke. The creator was making a joke about stereotypical immature behavior and added the tags #marriagehumor #crazy #women. In the video she was pretty subtle about it for a while but the chicken nuggets comment at the end was the wink that gave it away. Even the creator knows this is childish. If you believe this is appropriate behavior then don't get into a relationship until you can manage your own emotions like an adult, rather than expecting others to do it for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:47 PM
4

I don’t like it. When “sexy” is applied to things that can’t plausibly turn her on then it’s just a manipulative lie. Now, it’s kind of a white lie in the sense that she probably likes it in some way. It might be something necessary for him to be compatible with her. It could be something that would be a deal breaker for a relationship if it were lacking. It could be just practically helpful to her and she genuinely appreciates it. I’d rather she just say that. A man has to be pro choice to be c…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 06:02 AM
4

In the long run I'd rather have love. I'd rather being free and single for a while, have fun, and settle down later, but if that would preclude finding love later or if I have to choose right now (I think that's the spirit of the question) I'd just choose love. Also, I would only accept sex twice a year if somehow she did it with genuine lust and desire. Kinda weird that she doesn't desire me the rest of the year but I'll accept that it could be the way it works in the theoretical universe of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:37 PM
2

Almost all the hotties are in "rose jail" on Hinge
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 06:38 PM
8

I think you'd love it. I see how women respond to "manly" lust and I think they'd like to experience it firsthand too. Honestly I'd like to experience how it feels from a woman's perspective too. They're harder to turn on but they get really turned on when they do. Note that as a man it's rough to deal with the lust if you have to go without the sex. 😅 I'd like to be able to turn it off sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:31 AM
–

She's a real Plane Jane
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 08:56 PM
14

Ah, I see. So he was probably recruiting these guys from all over, or at least France and other French-speaking places. I had imagined he was just asking guys in this one small town. I suppose it makes me feel a little better about humanity that he didn't get 72 guys from that small of a pool. Still doesn't make the actual crimes any less terrible, along the lines of what you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 02:32 AM
80

Just answering for myself, I wouldn't rape a woman even if I thought I could get away with it. Like if I could rewind time and make it as if it didn't happen but I still retained the memory. The reason is the same that I wouldn't use the services of a prostitute. A woman wanting sex with me is the turn on. Without this there is no pleasure for me. As for men in general, I don't know. This case is extremely troubling to me. That you could let that number of men even know about the rape happening …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 12:57 AM
1

Yeah, true. As for the other guys, I don't know why people go out of their way to be unkind for no reason. Well, I guess I do know. They are frustrated and resentful and lashing out. A lot of women are... sensitive about the weight issue, even if they're not overweight themselves, and take umbrage at any man having a size preference. I've completely given up expressing this except anonymously because it never ends well. I understand to a degree because there is a lot of unnecessary fat hate out …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:46 PM
2

I get the idea from it happening to me a few times. In fact, no woman has ever broken up with me without having another man already lined up. They either somehow felt out the situation enough to know he was willing or cheated with him and probably discussed it ahead of time. It's not like it happens every time but I'm sure my experiences are not unique.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:33 PM
3

Haha I remember rainbow parties from way back... that is, I remember adults imagining they were a thing 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:22 PM
2

or have sex with anyone else, including homie head I didn't know what "homie head" was until your recent post. Does this exist outside of the internet? I mean, there will always be friends who fuck each other for mutual release. Women sucking off dude friends just cuz? Nah. That's some internet meme shit. To address the main point, partners can come to whatever agreement they want within their relationship. It can be prudish and locked down or it can be unrestrained and hedonistic. Even open rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:16 PM
1

I don't prefer bigger women but I don't think I've ever been nasty about it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:45 PM
1

The getting arrested part is hyperbole. They say it because approaching is scary but they their imagination runs wild. It's legit scary to approach because we evolved to fear being ostracized socially as much as death... because in the past being ostracized from your group almost certainly meant death. So ridiculing men for being "sooo scared" to approach? Fuck that. It's scary and takes getting used to. But no, they're not going to get arrested. You could get beat up if you hit on the wrong wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:41 PM
2

I don't think I've ever approached someone walking down the street. It's generally at a bar, a show, the airport, a store, in an elevator and usually there is something about the context of the situation that is interesting. Observing something in the environment. Commenting on the event we're both at. Complimenting something they are wearing (only if it is truly interesting to me). I'll initiate a little conversation with both women and men in this way. It's always good to be social and make ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:29 PM
2

I think it's good advice, to an extent. Yes, you should always be examining yourself to see if you can improve to give yourself more romantic options. A rejection may teach you something valuable but you shouldn't put too much weight on any one rejection. Things don't work out or people are incompatible for a lot of nebulous reasons. Taking every rejection as a personal attack on the very fiber of your identity does you no good. There is a lot of terrible advice out there. For examples, downplay…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:12 AM
2

You seem to be asking this a lot. Do you think it's only fair if a partner is willing to do the equivalent sexual thing in reverse? In general I tend to believe that sort of thing, like with oral sex for example. With power dynamic stuff I don't really expect it, though. Arguably the cuckold/quean thing falls under that or is adjacent to it. Maybe you're just asking out of curiosity. I'm curious myself on where you're coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:02 AM
8

Sure, fucking another woman in front of her would be hot as long as I know she's into it. But I'm not into the humiliation aspect. I wouldn't want to call her pathetic or suggest that she is. I can be kinky but I'm not sadistic at all. That said, I might be willing to try it if it was a big fantasy for her. Knowing that she is turned on by it might make it fun for me, but I'd have to fight some of my natural tendencies to get into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:55 PM
3

I like to tell guys to optimize everything under their control. No excuses. At least if you're not happy with your romantic situation and want it to improve. But of course you have to acknowledge luck, good and bad. If you don't cut yourself some slack with bad luck then you'll drive yourself crazy. Things won't work with so many people due to circumstances beyond your control and and beating yourself up about them is counterproductive. It takes some experience to discern whether you had bad luc…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:40 PM
0

I don't believe being beautiful precludes genuine connections. In fact, I believe the opposite. Having gone through a glow up myself, I have had way more connections with intelligent, interesting, kind women than I ever had before. These women who have everything going for them never would have given me the time of day before I was attractive. I don't blame them either. Everybody wants a hot partner, even kind, thoughtful people. Also, I don't believe in the wall to begin with. Women with anythi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 05:42 PM
2

Twice I’ve been in years long relationships that I cherished and thought that she did too but in which she ended up throwing it all away for a shot with a slightly hotter guy. One was a monkey branch attempt and the other was just cheating and pining for him. Of course the guy ended up having zero interest in a relationship with her in both cases. So if you want to commiserate about people rejecting you, and what seemed like a good thing, for something that never had a chance then I’m happy to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:51 AM
2

It seems a lot of people get quite put off if they find out the person they're dating has a fetish for their type. Whether that be based on background, ethnicity, complexion, body type, or other. It got me to wondering... If someone has a fetish for your type, would that prevent them from ever truly loving you? Why or why not? DISCLAIMER: Assume they don't say cringe-worthy stuff I don't get it. Everybody has preferences. Sometimes people have strong preferences. I don't see anything wrong with …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 06:24 PM
15

This is a lot like my first experience with a girl. This was in high school. I've since dismissed it as kid stuff but I was wrecked at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 05:51 PM
2

I see your age is 30s in the comment. By that age a lot of guys are not rock hard throughout the entire session. It happens sometimes to me and I just work around it by doing other things or use the bathroom to take a little break to resensitize. I've found that even casual partners, including one night stands, don't care too much if you go soft a bit. I should caveat that if you show you are worried about it that's a big turnoff, so don't do that. I think you're probably normal and healthy and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 06:31 PM
3

It's useful to be explicit about this. Nice guys or any guys with people pleasing (especially women pleasing) tendencies can hear "stand up for yourself" and understand it abstractly, but not have the resolve to apply it. They might imagine that you just push back a little and you get agreement. It is important to understand that you will have to disappoint people, at least in the short term but sometimes irrevocably changing a relationship, to truly stand up for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 06:09 PM
2

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene is a decent book. Not mind blowing and not the most actionable but some good ideas are in there. One of the good ideas is you should always be seducing everybody. Everybody. So for me, a hetero man, this includes men. To me (and I think the author) this means you're always "on" and trying to show some charm, influence others, and make yourself stand out. Be a little extra clever, or warm, or generous, or insightful. Assume rapport and be a little bolder than…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 05:28 PM
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I like to do it sometimes. I could go without forever and it would not dissuade me from getting involved long-term with a woman if she didn't like it, but if it's on the table I like to do it sometimes. You seem skeptical that a lot of women also like this. Do you view it solely as something men badger women to do and women grudgingly accept? Plenty of women have asked me for this and women have wanted to do it more often than I have wanted to. Some have gotten a little annoyed that I don't do i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 12:49 AM
48

Even if it’s true I’m not sure what the takeaway is. It still can happen and it’s still a good idea to be wary of it. It also happens to men, though usually for the purpose of theft.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 08:17 PM
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Politicians don't spend so much time and effort fundraising billions of dollars because it gets them nothing. They're not all idiots. They do it because it helps win elections, a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 08:04 PM
1

I'll take a free scratch off ticket. Why not? I actually don't do it too much because of the low success rate, but I have done it and it has worked sometimes. I usually just do it when I see a woman checking me out and/or showing open body language, which makes it slightly less cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 08:01 PM
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I just want to say that somehow I never heard or saw the term "plap" before and I thought you just made it up. I thought it was a clever invention. But I Googled it and I see that it's slang that already exists. TIL
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 07:55 PM
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It's part of life and I accept that. I'm not squeamish and I'll have sex with a woman on her period, even though it's slightly less enjoyable because you have to be conscious of the mess. That said, I don't take a dump in front of her because sometimes keeping our bodily functions to ourselves just is more pleasant. She doesn't have to hide her period, not talk about it, or pretend it doesn't happen but I prefer not to share all the funky details about our bodies all the time. Maybe for the righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 07:45 PM
2

I have and would do it again. If I was going for something long-term then maybe it could be a negative if she leaned more toward the lesbian side and I had some reason to believe that she was just exploring with guys at that time, possibly temporarily. But if I liked her enough I don't think it would dissuade me from trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 09:33 PM
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I'll say first that I believe all of these are valid. I'll add that also women put a lot of pressure on themselves. When I have sex with a woman, one of my goals is to do whatever I can (usually compliments or dirty talk that praises her) to make sure she knows she looks hot and I'm enjoying her. Frankly, women are almost always too damn worried about whether they look good enough. I always take on the job of assuring her that she does. I do this for her pleasure and for mine. If she can't relax…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 08:25 PM
7

As others have pointed out, it’s just emotional/psychological abuse, no matter who this is done to. We correctly call it abuse when it happens to a woman. We don’t call it abuse when it happens to a man because the expectation is that he is strong and does not allow himself to be treated this way. Culturally it is considered his fault for being too weak to stand up for himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 03:04 PM
3

Most of these things I do not do because they are more likely to come off as old-fashioned and maybe trying too hard. The exceptions are opening doors for her, helping her with her coat, letting her order first, offering my jacket to her, and paying for the date. I won't make a big show out of any of these and will do them if the opportunity naturally presents itself. Many of the others could make her feel awkward because they're too formal. But if I know she likes them and it seems appropriate …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 12:49 AM
2

It's why I stopped reading RP content. I've never even watched the videos that most people consider RP. I found the RP had some key insights about what I was missing in being attractive that I still think are hard to find elsewhere. But once you've absorbed the good parts most RP online spaces just keep coming up with new and creative ways to feel like victims and say women are terrible. Besides just being nasty it's counterproductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:16 PM
1

Thank you for articulating this. It's such a peculiar question. Everybody tries to show their best while concealing their flaws when dating. Imperfect confidence is a common perceived flaw that almost all men will try to conceal. If you ask the other party if they would rather all their potential partner's flaws be visible from the beginning so they can make the best informed decision then they would say of course they want this. Then they would proceed to conceal their own flaws for as long as …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 09:36 PM
1

The privilege is the choice. If a woman sees a benefit in it she can get sex easily. She can decide for herself whether the potential negatives are worth it. You spend a lot of time arguing that there is not a sufficient value proposition for you to choose casual sex. At least I think that's what you're saying. That's fine, but clearly a lot of women see things differently and they do pursue casual sex. That is the privilege. You and most women have the choice. Most men do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 09:07 PM
2

I suppose thinking "she will always want someone else" is insecurity or defeatism. But having been the placeholder boyfriend who was eventually cheated on with and/or left for a more attractive guy twice in my life I think it would be irrational to not recognize that this is a possibility. This was back when I was less fit, poorly dressed, and not confident. Now I deal with this possibility by being more attractive and being among the most attractive options for a woman I'm involved with. I feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 04:36 PM
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Why be with a 6/10 man when you can be with a 10/10 cat?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 07:57 PM
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Seems like everybody says the internet has made everything terrible but I don't see it that way. I'm 41 and the internet wasn't a big thing for my early life. I think it has made people more flaky and prone to distraction but that's about it. We've always ogled beautiful people in media. The top men always had so many more options than all other men and they still do. I think the bad tendencies of people in dating are slightly exacerbated by the internet but I don't think it's a whole different …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 01:55 AM
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Q4A: Do you think it's reasonable for a girlfriend to tell her boyfriend to not use a female voice for his digital assistant? For examples, Siri or Alexa can't have a female voice (or name, if possible). I heard a woman saying this for her husband a while back. She's a little... silly, so I didn't think much of it. Now I just heard this from a woman who I consider very smart, competent, and, well, normal. She says her boyfriend needs to change the voices if they're female. Now I'm wondering if m…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 05:33 PM
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I really doubt I'd notice
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:48 PM
1

I would tell her the truth and not have sex with her. If I knew I would hurt her I'd rather not have the momentary pleasure because I would be haunted by the idea of another person being hurt intentionally by me. I'd like to say this is 100% altruism but I'm sure some of this is because I'm ego invested in the idea of being a "good guy". I'm not proud of this but at least it contributes to me doing the right thing in this case. Hmm. Right is right and wrong is wrong and I think a guy, deep down,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 11:49 PM
2

I'm sure there's an element of truth to this, where it always has to be a man's "fault" for sabotaging himself if he isn't happy with the way things are turning out in his life, no matter what it is that he's not happy with. But I greatly prefer a self improvement message over the "the right woman will come along" or "you're such a good guy and any woman would be lucky to have you" bullshit which are basically advising complacency. I've heard more of that in my life and it's harmful nonsense. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 08:15 PM
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Inspired by a recent comment about chess... I like Queen's Gambit because it's a very entertaining show and also because of the positive message. It could have been standard girl power entertainment where women are awesome and all the men suck and are one-dimensional, misogynistic villains. She exclusively plays men (if I remember correctly) and a lot of them are somewhat dismissive of her at first. It's not clear whether this is because she is a woman or because she is young, or both. The men s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:50 PM
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Agree. She's reacting differently in the social aspect that is separate from the game with the hot guy but... of course? Like you said, obviously guys would tend to do this too. She is polite with both and gives the not hot guy a warm greeting and handshake. I wondered why she didn't look at him when asking his name. It seemed a bit dismissive but that's the only critique I have and it's pretty minor. He was quite awkward, though, which can be contagious. At first I thought the "*slowly dying in…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:23 PM
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I've learned to be content with her wanting to see me, prioritizing me, wanting to have sex, and other signs she generally likes me and what I do. As a man you have to accept it as enough. And it is enough, really. It's what actually matters. But dang it, an overt, verbalized compliment feels good.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:57 PM
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I am 40. 😄 I don't think this is inappropriate for any age. I think people should maintain playfulness their entire lives. I would rather be with someone overly silly than someone who takes themself too seriously. And of course it suggests sex in an innocent way. Always good if a woman, you know, likes sex too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:15 PM
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I think it's kinda cute. Suggests playfulness, which is a big thing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:08 PM
1

I think all of the major ones allow videos. Not sure about gifs. Hinge allows voice notes. Not that everyone puts these in… I’m just saying that of course there is information lacking from a photo + text profile but there are ways to get more information without committing to a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 08:13 PM
1

I'm not 100% sure if you're saying this or not, but the answer to entitlement is not transactional thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 06:09 PM
14

I like it when a partner does this for me. I think most women do to some degree. Some are amazing at it. But I am against expecting it because I embrace radical responsibility for my own needs. I also believe it is a terrible, destructive thing for a person to expect others to read their mind, so I'm careful to not put this expectation on others. I bring up the book No More Mr. Nice Guy a lot, because I think it's great. In that book the author describes "covert contracts". It's a way men tend t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 06:02 PM
2

I like what I've seen some women do - have video calls before dates. You obviously don't get smell but you get a decent fidelity version of most everything else. It can give you a lot of extra signal on who is enough of a match to spend the time to go on a date with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:34 PM
22

Maybe in the past I would consider her selfish and get all ticked off about it. After reading things like No More Mr. Nice Guy I embrace the idea that my needs, including my sexual needs, are 100% my responsibility. "Blame" is irrelevant. We're just two people in a relationship (serious or casual) ostensibly to meet each other's needs and if one party feels their needs are not being met it is their responsibility to broach the topic and discuss solutions. While I try to be proactive and sense wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:19 PM
11

You can also use the fleshlight or other vagina-like toy in bed with a woman. I'm not sure how it's different. They're both just toys that stimulate the genitalia in a similar way as the genitalia of the opposite sex and they can both be used alone or with a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 11:02 PM
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I can see this working if all the typical physical features are kind of ok or better. Not too fat. Not too ugly. A fat guy peacocking may be seen as eccentric or interesting, but rarely attractive. I suppose the point of that is you have to do some regular looksmaxxing no matter what. Then you can add your niche on a good base. Perhaps that's obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 10:55 PM
14

Personally I don't mind and if it makes the experience better for her I say let's integrate them into our play together. Vibrators, butt plugs, dildos, whatever. I'm game. As long as she's super into me and my body I don't care and it's fun to give her all the sensations. I don't understand guys having an issue with vibrators. You want to be stimulating that clit anyway and it's not like it's "replacing" something on you. But of course dick size is going to be something guys can get sensitive ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 10:28 PM
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New sperm are created all the time, so they're not like eggs where a woman has a certain number
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 05:16 PM
1

I feel a certain comfort with no expectations, no strings attached sex. It might only be lust and a shallow type of desire and acceptance, but it's a notable way you can be sure you're getting 100% honest desire and acceptance from a woman. It can be hard to know you're getting this in other ways. Let me explain. I've been the placeholder boyfriend. It was extremely painful. To find out that someone you are all in for was just merely tolerating you as good enough is devastating. You think you ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 07:34 PM
6

Social skills are the hardest, but doable. Looksmaxxing is the easiest IMO. Losing weight is hard but you know how far you have to go and when you've arrived at the goal. With lifting you can see your progress in hard numbers. I think this is why some go the gymcel path. There is a comfort in dealing with clear feedback and a degree of certainty. With social skills you have none of this. You don't really know for certain whether something you're trying is working. You only know after a while, if…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:57 PM
1

I have been told on this sub that calling out misogyny is acting like a victim, but redpill guys don’t typically have the reach to victimize anyone but themselves. Yeah, for sure. I think people don't understand that you'll never convince anyone unless empathy is a two way street. The sad part is that a lot of them don’t want to be in happy give-and-take relationships. Yeah, this was another part about why I couldn't stomach the Red Pill (pun not originally intended, but then again I left it in)…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 10:36 PM
2

I hear you. I don't disagree that there are bits of truth in both Red and Black Pills, some of them quite crucial to understand, one way or the other. For me, RP was the kick in the ass that started my self improvement journey that was similar to yours. Whether or not Red Pill was actually a key ingredient or not, I am way more attractive and successful now than I could have dreamed. But I eventually decided that the negativity toward women was just going overboard and making me less happy by gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 10:29 PM
1

This is very insightful. Thanks. I appreciate you saying it. I'm intentionally trying to tone down any negativity in my comments that I may have included in the past. I'm happy when I can increase understanding a little bit. Also, re: redpill rotting brains, I have definitely seen online content in women’s groups like, “I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and recently he told me that my sexual market value is low because I’m over 25.” So yes, it happens. Yeah, I was thinking about this fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 10:16 PM
2

Thanks for another insightful post. I'd say I agree with everything here. Perceptions of gender confer privileges on each gender as well as burden them with expectations. We tend not to fully embrace this and are only sensitive to positives for others and negatives to ourselves. Men tend to emphasize how women are perceived as compassionate, pleasant, virtuous, and "wonderful" but deemphasize how they are often not given as much respect or taken seriously. Women tend to emphasize how exceptional…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 09:13 PM
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I'll try not to knock it if others are into it, but I have no interest in all these posts which are basically Ok guys, would you rather date Amy, an obese woman who is a perfect angel in every way or Sara, a thin woman who is the most toxic, insufferable person to have ever lived?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 07:16 PM
4

I don't have any issue with this except for the implication that if a man does express his vulnerability in a healthy way that he will never face rejection or other negative consequences. I'm fine with attributing difficulty for men expressing their emotions to toxic masculinity, at least in part. The other part is that aspects of traditional gender roles still exist culturally and put unfair expectations on women and men. One of these for men is the expectation of increased emotional resiliency…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 07:09 PM
7

There exist men who aren't intuitive enough to learn important concepts about attracting women the typical way, through normal life experiences. From the outside it will always appear that these guys are self sabotaging or otherwise willfully avoiding doing the right thing. "I get it. Always have. How could these guys possibly not?" is the spirit of a lot of takes from guys on here when some other guy complains that he didn't realize it was important to maximize his looks or some other wronghead…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 06:39 PM
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I'm guessing women wouldn't want their nipples stimulated anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:37 PM
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I guess he's kind of saying that heh
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:34 PM
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the comments will continue
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:32 PM
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Yeah I've seen this. That 1/2/3/4 plates is outdated and 2/3/4/5 is the new minimum for strong. I know it's internet stupidity but it still kinda bugs me when dumb internet bros pompously say this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 07:44 PM
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Thanks. Yeah, good looking dude. I think most women would greatly prefer this over a ridic meathead juicer type. I like to get some data points sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 06:13 PM
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I hear you, man. Being lean is waaay more common of a preference. While there are some women who actually do prefer a dad bod or bear over a leaner man, this niche is so tiny that it's almost negligible. With attraction we are trying to maximize our options. Suggesting going after a tiny niche instead of being broadly, conventionally attractive is terrible advice and I agree it's basically dishonest, in the sense that someone giving it must know it's bad advice. In your case she could have been …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 06:09 PM
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Mind sharing a pic of him? Or maybe a different guy who you consider to have a perfect body?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 05:45 PM
1

In that case sorry for the overly judgmental language about smoking. I've only had a cigarette here and there in my life but I have to say I like the flavor! Haha. I'd probably smoke here and there if there were no health risks. I'm not immune to seeing it as kinda classic cool. Mostly it getting in clothing and other fabric is where it's not pleasant as far as living with someone else who smokes. For me anyway. I honestly don't think smokers are "dirty" in any way, despite using that word to de…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 05:42 PM
1

Smoker, for both A and B. I have no problem with and no contempt for people of any size but I only have attraction for certain sizes. If I could change some circuitry in my brain to make this not so I would do it. As it is, I'd rather be with someone with a dirty, annoying, unhealthy habit than someone who I could not be attracted to. This may not be one of them, but a lot of questions like these try to imply that considering certain weights/sizes to be deal breakers for attraction is somehow no…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:59 PM
3

Maybe some men care. I think many (most?) men don't know the extent of their gf/wife's sexual past and don't want to know since it would do nobody any good to drill into every salacious detail. Same for women concerning their bf/husband's past. I see some problems with jealousy that can end relationships if a man finds out she was involved with a specific man with a unique relationship to him or something like she is telling her friends that she is pining for some old lover. That's different. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 08:52 PM
2

Ah, yes. I like if a woman wants to pay sometimes. Maybe at least 1/3 of total cost for all of our dates? For me it's the gesture of kindness and her showing she is somewhat independent. Doesn't need to be strictly alternating payment. If she never pays I don't think I'd feel resentment but I'd assume she was too traditional for me. I think the main thing is that I don't like to make a final judgment about this on the first date. It seems like a common enough convention for the man to pay on the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:47 AM
2

5'9" is short? Maybe it is in politics/entertainment (basically the same thing these days).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:35 AM
4

I'd be a YouTuber if I could earn millions and then retire and reinvent myself. So basically I'd want to be one of the top ones, which wouldn't happen. So yeah, 9 to 5 it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:31 AM
2

all I want in life is to be as light as a lean brick of muscle
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:28 AM
2

I agree. To me a woman going with the flow with this dating convention doesn't seem to reveal much of her character. It's a bit of an inconsistency if she espouses egalitarianism but a common one that, IMO, can be overcome. I'd rather give her a chance to show me her character other ways that are more significant. As I said elsewhere in this thread, I was probably a bit too argumentative with this initial comment. It really comes down to people deciding what is important to them and of course it…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:15 AM
5

Right. Even if you're a CEO of a huge company you can say something like "I'm in management at a company that does [vague enough description]." Bringing the carpenter thing into it is unnecessary clownery.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 02:32 AM
3

https://np.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1e3cpct/aitah_for_turning_down_a_man_because_of_his/ tl;dr - a guy said he's a carpenter to a date because he didn't want women to know he earns a lot of money and the date turned him down because of this "gold digger test" I don't blame her because it's a lie, though not a malicious one. For one, I think he maybe could have been more vague to avoid lying rather than make shit up. I'm still a bit surprised that I scrolled down pretty far without seeing a co…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 02:21 AM
1

You know, in my initial comment I was fixating too much on the title and that was unnecessary quibbling that got us arguing about nothing. My bad. So, I guess my only real point is I don't think women's disposition to split or not is too revealing of character and I'd rather evaluate that other ways. But if you think it's valuable then that's fine too. I'm glad it worked out for you. And to speak to the spirit of your post, rather than pick apart the details, your way is definitely better for gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 02:12 AM
3

I'm curious what you observed the backlash to be and what you think is most interesting about it. I hadn't heard of the show, but the best explanation I could find is that it includes "standard-issue fatphobia" and that the title "Hot and Heavy" suggests the fit men are hot and the women are just heavy (and not hot).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:54 AM
2

? I didn't say it makes it impossible to have success if you refuse to pay 100% on a first date, just that you'll lose out on some opportunities, some which could be good ones. You seem to be suggesting that some women likely rejected you based on your profile, including this statement in the profile. I don't see how we're not in agreement. Like I said from the beginning, I totally respect that you're making this stand. For a lot of guys it doesn't seem worth it cut down our options for this rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:46 AM
1

I'm dominant sexually and don't really know how to do it any other way. Any woman I'm with would presumably like this, probably being submissive in bed. I would be a little wary but I'd assume this was just a random fantasy she has and not directed at me but that she has about other men. If I asked her or otherwise found out she fantasized about cucking me I would suspect our sexual desires are not compatible and would have an ick that would be hard to shake.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:33 AM
3

I don't get these posts that say fixing such and such would be so "easy"... if you can do the impossible task of uniting every member of your gender worldwide to behave a certain way. I think you'd have to be literally a god to pull this off. Back with us mortals, if a man wants to die on this hill for his principles I totally respect that. He will lose out on a lot of second dates and if it's worth it to him that's cool. Personally I don't think most of these women who don't want to split on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:14 AM
2

I don't think we should indulge ourselves too much in playing the victimhood Olympics, but that said... I think in this case the man is causing more pain with his rejection because of how he misrepresented himself the entire night and revealed his true colors in the morning. It shows bad intentions and makes someone feel foolish (even though they aren't). By the way, what he did wrong was not having respect enough for a fellow human to give her basic consideration and kindness. He never promised…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 10:58 PM
8

You understand there's a difference in how women want to be treated by a partner vs how a woman wants to be treated in day to day life, right? I believe this is true, that the average woman wants true equality in the workplace and all aspects of public life but usually has some traditional expectations of men in personal relationships. I am careful to distinguish this and never try to cast a woman as a "bad feminist" for having some traditional desires or expectations in her personal life. Furth…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 05:26 PM
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There were a few "likes" removed from this quote but otherwise I think it's accurate. I definitely feel like because there's so few men that I would want to date around that the ones that exist like completely get to pick. I feel like me and my single friends are like we go to a party and there's... lucky if there's one straight guy we find attractive there there's just a sea of amazing women and I just think it does mean that those men have a lot of power, which is so annoying. I don't know wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:07 AM
1

It's true. It's hard and expensive to avoid awful food here.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 01:51 AM
1

The way people see the world is so foreign to me sometimes that I have trouble parsing what they're saying
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:48 AM
6

The inference that women over 30 are worthless is bizarre to me. I never understood the youth obsession anyway. To try to answer half of the question, I think self-improvement is worth it at any age. You improve not only for women but for yourself. I see it like building professional skills. You do that so you have more options, are more in control of your career, and just get more out of working. You're have to work anyway so you might as well thrive. Same with romance. If you feel you need to …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:46 AM
6

I get where female body positivity came from and I'm glad it's a thing. I don't think anybody should be made to feel ashamed about themselves for no good reason. I'm glad that it is much less acceptable to ridicule women for being heavier these days. We don't need more casual cruelty in this world. The thing that men get all sensitive about is they feel largely left out of this. Taking cheap shots at a man because he's fat, bald, or short generally doesn't get people upset. He's much more rarely…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:29 AM
1

It is another issue but I don't think the government should be stepping in and saying what size portions should be. That would be a freaking mess. With high fructose corn syrup the US government is subsidizing corn, making sweeteners plentiful and one of the cheapest ways to make food more appealing... and terrible for you. Pulling back these subsidies would be a step in the right direction. It's removing government overstepping rather than adding it. If you're talking about controlling portions…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:18 AM
1

Yeah I don't disagree. Obviously height is big and unchangeable. Face shape. But the different between a guy who has not optimized his looks and one who has is huge. Your upper limit is determined genetically but most guys are not making the most of what they've got. They're dropping a good 1-2 points off of their attractiveness through neglect. Just what I've observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:55 PM
1

I was clueless about this for much of my life, but I was thrilled when I realized that women care so much about looks. At least you have objective standards to work toward. You can know roughly what your level is at any time and when you've realized your full potential. Looksmaxxing is by far the easiest part of developing attraction as a man. Losing 30lbs is hard but so much easier than developing charm, gaining status in your community, and attaining unflappable confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 04:39 PM
9

I remember seeing this ad nauseam on Red Pill forums. Guys claiming that women and "society" were browbeating them into marrying single mothers. They used the exact wording - that people were saying they have to "step up" and do this. I didn't believe this was a real thing at the time. I thought it was a bunch of dudes inventing a victim scenario to complain about. But here we are... PS: I have zero problems with single mothers and you will never see me criticizing or ridiculing them in any way.…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 01:31 AM
1

Yes, working on [making] yourself valuable is a must. But what does that entail? I mean, it means getting a job, living on your own, being able to survive and support another. For me I had the adult basics (good job, my own place, income enough to support myself and others if necessary) down already, but yes, those are important to meet most peoples' criteria for a romantic connection. For me I was just missing some attraction basics. I was out of shape, badly groomed, poorly dressed, and lackin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:51 PM
0

I honestly love the positive attitude and I believe being a good person should be near the top of the list of life goals for everybody. For me a goal that I meditate on is developing generosity of spirit. That said, I followed similar sounding advice for a long time and it made me much less happy than I otherwise would have been. "Looks/status/[other aspect of initial attraction] kinda matters, but not really. Being a good person is more important." is something I heard and lived by for over hal…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:21 PM
7

I disagree with the premise that powerful or successful means disagreeable. This is for anybody, man or woman. Many people gain power in their careers and become leaders and thrive in that role because they are empathetic in addition to being authoritative. I've read some material that indicates women tend to (but don't always) have a slightly "softer" leadership style but receive equally good reviews from reports because they are perceived as caring about their team. So if anything powerful wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:59 PM
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Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:43 AM
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Yeah it is a misnomer. I think the annoyance is because "dad bod" initially seems to be body positivity for men until you find out that it's actually still a pretty high standard. I mean, I'm fine with it because I'm fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:25 AM
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Cool. Just saying because sometimes Reddit/PPD make me negative, and specifically start making me have an overly negative attitude toward women, and I should take my own advice. Not sure if that's happening to you or not. Just here projecting my own experience on others.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:55 AM
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Which is what I think most women think is a dad bod. Still gotta be strong under that fat layer. Not just a chubby or skinny fat dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:52 AM
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Might be time to step away (from Reddit)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:46 AM
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I usually do it when I get home. Next day is fine too. Usually just a sentence or two, one of which says I had a great time. The other maybe a brief witty callback to something we talked about or that happened during the date.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:19 AM
4

Complete opposite for me. If I don't feel obvious passion from a partner I'd rather just jerk off. I'll take one night of passionate sex a year over on-demand passionless sex for a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:03 PM
7

As predicted, men overperceived women's attractiveness, on average. By contrast, as predicted, women underperceived men's attractiveness, on average. This is an interesting study which, if I'm understanding it correctly, indicates that men consider women to be attractive by default when given incomplete information whereas women consider men to be unattractive by default when given incomplete information. Can you explain how this is related to this post?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 06:46 PM
2

Everybody wants to be hypergamous but only women are usually able to do it successfully... at least to some degree. I don't subscribe to the idea that there is a widespread, conscious execution of some "Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks" conspiracy by women, but there are some signs that there are at least tendencies for this to happen. If we look at the "bucks" part of marriages we can see that in 84% of marriages men earn more or as much as women (55% earn more + 29% earn around the same). The majority …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 01:47 AM
5

[scrolls down] Hehe. Yeah, I can agree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:42 AM
1

You Weren't "Put In The Friendzone", You're Just A Shitty Friend First part yes. Second part... not necessarily. I encourage men to not fall into a victim mentality and instead recognize that they still have power and agency. So no attitudes like "She put me in the friend zone" or "I'm stuck in the friend zone". If it's part of your Nice Guy plan to win her over romantically then you put yourself there. If you developed feelings later over time then you just happened to end up there but it's com…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:32 AM
7

That's a really odd example to use. She's wondering out loud "How can I view men more positively?" I think you should be praising her. It's way easier to find garden variety gender wars man/woman hating posts and relatively difficult to find someone at least open to the idea that they should improve their attitude, even if for their own sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 11:52 PM
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Looking here I see that Rule 10 is "No Incel or Black Pill Content". Rule 5 is "No "Woe-Is-Me" Posting" and Rule 6 is "No Race-Baiting or Racially Charged Content". https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/rules/ Anyway, I guess we're looking at different things or Rule 6 used to be no incel/black pill. Either way I agree it's not enforced.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 10:39 PM
2

Yeah, I stay lean by mostly eating "clean" much like you describe. I have some light snacks that are processed but I pay more to get ones without a lot of sweeteners. Of course all of this costs a lot more. I have sympathy for people struggling with weight in this environment. The system is working against us with dysfunctional subsidies, for one. You can't just go with the flow to have success, you need to educate yourself, spend more, and likely change your habits to be completely different th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:58 PM
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Hmm. Addendum: while normal people check out hot people sometimes, at the same time it’s kind of tacky to follow a bunch of thirst trap accounts and I get that. Not sure what your crush was following exactly. Maybe it’s that you thought it was tacky and they lost respect in your eyes, not that you felt like you had unfair competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 03:55 AM
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No problem! 😊 Thanks for replying because it makes me crazy when I said something wrong and hurt or offended somebody and I feel like I can't fix it. Haha I was trying to say something like everybody ogles super hot people but it's not like they expect their potential romantic partners to be perfect 10s. I think you were saying your online crush was checking out super hot women so I was trying to say it doesn't necessarily mean you need to be that conventionally hot for him to like you. I might …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 03:19 AM
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I don't subscribe to the idea proposed earlier in the thread that choosing to not have sex in a marriage should be regarded with equal contempt as cheating, though I agree it is in some sense a betrayal. Someone who wishes to have sex as a normal part of their life would not agree to a marriage (or other LTR) with someone if they knew sex would completely stop a few years later. A partner who decides there will no longer be sex in a relationship is fully aware of this. The "betrayal" part only a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 03:11 AM
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I am old but I still got it. 😄 I was trying to give some moral support btw. Not sure if it came across that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 02:53 AM
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Lots of women watch Magic Mike. Most of them could not get Channing Tatum and they know it. You might be in the running.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 01:53 AM
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I started reading the first sentence and assumed you were another passport bro. Maybe they don't learn the local language. 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 01:50 AM
3

I don't think it characterizes men and women as adversaries at all. It just describes women as correctly recognizing that their sexuality is greatly valued and therefore gives them power. I have power because I have skills which are valued in the job market. It doesn't mean I am adversarial with employers. Quite the opposite. And if the market was suddenly flooded with people who could provide the same value and were willing to do it for 1/4 of the salary this would severely compromise my power …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 01:27 AM
5

My experience is that women are ostensibly nice to women in their group but judgmental of those outside of it. So in a friend group they’ll all tell each other how hot they look. Then they’ll look around the room and say how some other women are dressed like sluts. I assume that when men are around that this is at least partially to dissuade men in the group from approaching those other women. They are letting it be known ahead of time that he will be judged if he goes after her. The same for a …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:46 PM
6

Oh it absolutely can be done. I am 40 and I maintain a body fat of 15% or below with plenty of muscle. It’s difficult but it’s worth it to me to be one of those rare super fit guys at my age.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:31 PM
35

Almost everybody, men and women, gets heavier as they age, at least in the USA where terrible, heavily sweetened food is plentiful and cheap. If you're fairly fit and slender past 35 or so you'll be a standout, man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:06 PM
1

If I’m understanding this correctly it seems like you’re saying that since there is greater potential for harm from sex that outweigh potential positives then sex is not a legitimate need. I still don’t see how this differentiates sex from other things we consider needs in a relationship. Abusing someone verbally has the potential to devastate them psychologically to the degree that it is potentially worse than any positives someone would receive from normal verbal communication. Shall we say th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 11:29 PM
1

This is conflating the word "need" in two different contexts, the needs that are strictly necessarily to keep the human body alive and the social, emotional, and psychological needs that are only fully satisfied with interactions with other humans. In relationships there are implied or explicit agreements for reciprocal meeting of some of these needs. These needs can be whatever is agreed upon by both parties and a common one, in romantic relationships, is sex. Other ones that are commonly expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 10:42 PM
2

I don't expect women to fight for me or work to solve my problems. Nobody will ever be invested in solving my problems as much as I am. It makes sense that women fight for themselves. They should. I would be very content if most women acknowledged that men had any non-trivial or not self-inflicted problems at all. Almost all arguments that I've had on here are just advocating for this, not for some kind of effort or sacrifice for anybody else to solve men's problems. Increased understanding woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 08:39 PM
2

“If you cant handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best” is an irredeemably toxic statement that cannot be compared to a healthy person with potential to improve. A person stating this phrase, or anything like it, is acknowledging their toxic, possibly abusive behavior. Their partner is given the expectation to endure whatever maltreatment they dish out. The justification? The hubris to presume their "best" is so much better than everybody else's that the abuse is worth it. This is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 06:56 PM
6

In Latin America dating is absolutely more traditional. In serious or casual dating the man is almost always expected to pay. In North America, in my experience, it's typical for the woman to at least offer to split. Most I think are ok with 50/50, some think it is rude for the man to accept the offer to split. In Latin America, also in my experience, women almost never offer to split and assume the man will pay. I've noticed that more formal dates like dinner are expected for first dates and dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 09:25 PM
2

I think you understand the passport bros motivation. At least that is how I understand it as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 09:14 PM
1

I have a need for sex and companionship with women and that’s not going away. I’m either going to keep struggling or I’m going to make real improvements and have this need easily satisfied. Along the same lines, the best thing about having a surplus of money is that I don’t have to think about money very much, especially day to day. Same thing with having a surplus of romantic options. Also, one of the very most core things I learned in my RP exploration is that women didn’t like me because I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 05:42 PM
3

I try to be careful with that and be explicit about what I’m talking about. But with most guys who are struggling to get one or the other or both, usually it’s the initial attraction that is lacking. The same qualities and behaviors lead to success in obtaining both. There are maybe only tweaks in certain aspects of presentation. Only after a committed relationship starts does a distinct set of skills come into play.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 05:27 PM
2

Let's break down what Reddit commenters could criticize about these two people: The man - He seems clueless and boring. The woman - Her first comment is arguably sarcastic. I'm assuming sarcasm because otherwise it's bizarre to consider someone asking what your favorite things to talk about is being asked to "reveal such personal details". What she said was not in any way terrible but many people will interpret being sarcastic as being uncalled for when the man was polite and respectful througho…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 11:43 PM
8

Most things in life have some sort of reasonable substitute if you decide that it is not worth the cost. If you can't afford to go to Bali you can go to the Jersey Shore. If you can't afford to go scuba diving you can go snorkeling. If one job is too difficult or stressful you can get another and maybe get paid less. You usually have options that more or less satisfy the need or want. There is no real substitute for feeling physically and emotionally accepted by another human with whom you desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 08:44 PM
2

Man who isn't skilled at starting a conversation vs. woman who is openly antagonistic toward guys who aren't skilled at starting a conversation Match made in heaven/Tinder
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 08:34 PM
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I’ll take a crack at this. A woman has 0% certainty that a complete stranger is safe. After 5 minutes talking to him where all verbal and non-verbal signs indicate he’s alright that might go up to 50%. After an hour or two maybe up to 75-85%. The last 5% may take years, but she quickly gets to the point where she feels safe enough to entertain a romantic relationship with him. Being a big, tall, strong guy is a negative for the brief amount of time where she is uncertain of whether he is safe. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:54 PM
22

A lot of time these dumb arguments are made in response to initial dumb arguments that some guy on the internet is unsuccessful with women not because he’s unattractive but because he has incorrect attitudes about women that he expresses on the internet and they can detect that with their magical powers. Everybody should stop trying to pull this concept into any conversation they don’t want to turn ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 02:14 AM
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Although both men and women value physical attractiveness in potential partners, some research has shown men view it as essential (Buss, 1989), whereas relatively more recent research has shown both men and women value it equally (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008). Not really a comment on the main point but I'm still getting into arguments on here trying to convince people that looks matter just as much to women as to men. Maybe I should dig up Eastwick & Finkel next time. Or maybe not argue about this i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:20 AM
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Yeah, I get what you're saying. In a way, yes it's true that they are both negatives. I think there is a goldilocks human tendency where we always want enough to be "normal" but not too much, whatever that is. The complicating factor is that, like a lot of things, the amount of repulsion produced by high body count is inversely proportional to attractiveness. A reformed bad boy who decides he just wants this one special woman is a common fantasy for women and a trope in so many female-oriented r…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 10:04 PM
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I'll go with false. A low n-count is generally unattractive since it suggests no or few women desire him and he does not have experience, which could lead to awkward sexual experiences or the burden on her to guide him. A high n-count is probably a bit of a negative for most women, depending on how high we're talking about. Most women have some number where it becomes too much but this varies a lot. But a very attractive man will be desired by a lot of women, which often results in a high count.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:43 PM
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I've never specifically imagined myself in a woman's position, but I am curious how sex feels to a woman. I'm also envious about how much pleasure women seen to get from sex + the capability for multiple orgasms in a row. When a woman enjoys sex she really enjoys it at a level that I don't think I can attain.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:03 PM
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In my experience, using condoms for vaginal or anal sex is considered "safe sex". Using it for oral is rare, even though this would technically be safer. Vaginal and especially anal intercourse are much riskier than oral sex so that is why it is standard to use protection for these. People sometimes use the term "safer sex" and I believe it means a condom or equivalent for every sex act and possibly a dental dam for cunnilingus. A couple times a woman has declined to do oral on me or let me do i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:50 PM
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If there was a pattern of doing small inconsiderate things I would reconsider the relationship, especially if she didn't see anything wrong with them when I brought them up. If she tried to attack me out of being defensive then it's almost certainly an instant breakup in the early stages. In my experience people either care about creating a virtuous cycle of pleasing each other and avoiding hurting or taking from each other or they don't. This is reflected in big and small things. As for the exa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:31 PM
9

I agree with the title. A woman should be able to walk fully nude down the street (let's ignore legality of that for a second) and not have men invading her space, grabbing her, making sexual comments, catcalling, etc. The woman in the video should not be harassed for wearing those shorts. If men do that it's on them and I'm fine with shaming and/or prosecuting them. A woman should also wear whatever she wants without having to consider the opinion of anyone else. Fuck anybody else who says what…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 07:52 PM
6

In its ideal form, TRP is just a set of advice for how to make women attracted to a man. It doesn't concern itself with your political views or your stance on issues affecting men apart from relationships/sex. It's not trying to do anything other than increase romantic options. "women won't fck me" is the kind of thing that it is meant to address and not circumcision or the draft. ...but of course that's the ideal. In reality it seems like a lot of RP guys are also involved with Men's Rights, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:41 PM
1

I think I know what you mean. Some other men seem to think any vagina is better than no vagina or that any orgasm with a woman is better than an orgasm masturbating. I don't understand this. I'd rather stay at home and masturbate than have sex with a woman who wasn't attractive to me. I believe I've experienced something like what you're talking about. I've been with women in more of a hookup scenario where she seems very into it but I get the sense that she was just super horny and needed a dic…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:30 PM
1

True. No way to know 100%. I at least try to avoid situations where I know she's not truly into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:02 PM
9

I'm just one more data point but a prostitute would also do nothing for me. I don't think I could enjoy having sex with someone pretending to enjoy it. I enjoy casual sex, so I don't strictly need a deep emotional connection to enjoy sex (though it often helps) but genuine desire, at least lust, is essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 03:33 AM
4

I’ll resist any urge to try to pick this apart and just say that I think we agree on at least a couple things. Better than I thought this would end up. Haha. I’m trying to be positive so I’ll call it a good thing. Have a nice evening (or whatever it is where you are).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 12:41 AM
4

Alright, well I guess we agree that we all have superficial standards. As for you stating that men's superficial standards are bad and unreasonable and women's superficial standards are good and reasonable, I guess we'll have to just agree to disagree. I don't see any physical standards as good or bad. They just are. And if someone really is being unreasonable then they'll just hurt themselves more than anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 12:22 AM
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I think this and most "dad bod" comments are usually white lies. It's just trying to say she doesn't have ridiculously high standards. I believe this is true most of the time. It's like a guy downplaying how hot some bikini model is when his girlfriend asks him what he thinks. Maybe he thinks the bikini model is hot but it's not like his physical standards are that high. He thinks his girlfriend is hot and her theoretically being a bit hotter physically would make no significant difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 12:11 AM
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Top shelf comment lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 11:59 PM
5

This is still a superficial standard, no matter whether you think it's reasonable or not or whether you think most men can meet the standard or not. This is the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 11:51 PM
7

We are not superficial about looks the way men are. I only had to check a few comments back in your history to find you stating that most women have a superficial standard about men's looks/bodies. Most women just want a man who is taller than them. Which, by the way, I think is completely fine. I don't judge women for having physical standards neither do I judge men. I don't think you should be offended by anyone's physical standards but if you judge men you should at least judge everyone the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 11:26 PM
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Never thought about it like that. Deep thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 10:20 PM
0

I don't understand. The PPD Rule 6 is "No Race-Baiting or Racially Charged Content" and I don't see what that has to do with this. Are you talking about some other rule 6?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 10:16 PM
3

I'm scanning the comments and a lot of them say that no personality change would make the commenter want to date her. I'm one of them. Being fat is simply a deal breaker for me. I don't believe there is anything I can consciously do about this. Is that dodging the question? I don't know how I would answer any other way and still be truthful. I could say how to improve her personality, in my view, but I'd still only want to be her friend and not date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 10:14 PM
9

Hmm, I think the Buzzfeed article probably took the thinnest woman on the list and said 68% are like her or larger. There are some women in the article who are smaller than this example woman, women who I would consider thick or maybe a little chubby but not obese. So the mistake was probably using this woman as the 68% woman and not the thinnest one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 10:09 PM
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i also always feel like the dental hygienist is judging me and my teeth I guarantee they've seen worse. A lot worse. Earlier in the day probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 09:05 PM
15

This is a similar question to this one. Maybe I'm misreading the intent, but it seems like these posts are trying to get men to just come out and say they don't like fat women and it's a deal breaker. Well, it's true for me. I by no means judge anybody who is fat as a lesser person or any less deserving of respect or dignity, but I am particular about weight and I'm not attracted to fat women. To answer the question more directly, I would not date this woman no matter what her personality is. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 08:07 PM
1

I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted so much. Everything you say seems true. Intentionally playing the friend zone game is always a bad idea for a man and maybe they're thinking you're suggesting to do that? My question is, if you belong to the last category, would you be ok knowing on some level that this 'glow up' and not years of loyalty and unconditional support made her 'see the light'? I mean, I have seen former overweight female friends get bombarded by dating offers by their male fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:36 PM
3

There is almost nothing that will make an attractive woman unattractive to men. I see the other things posted and I agree a lot of them are fake edgy or passé, but I'd still see the woman as hot even if I thought she had bad taste. Just about the only things that would truly be repellent would be in the category of being obviously not hygienic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:20 PM
14

I agree. I don't think putting women who do the basics so much higher than men who do the same serves anybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:01 PM
109

I don’t know what talking points are for what side anymore. Red Pillers always are saying that it’s easy to be in the top tier of women if you “just don’t be fat”. Now Blue Pillers are saying it too, apparently. I mean, I kind of agree. I don’t have anything wrong with fat people but not being fat will probably always be conventionally attractive and it’s becoming more and more of a rarity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 06:19 AM
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Respect for having the balls to approach then taking the L and walking away without being a little bitch about it. He ain't smooth but he'll get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 02:06 AM
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Half of all Nobel Prizes were the result of some guy trying to impress a cutie, according to a somewhat plausible notion I just invented in my head
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 02:01 AM
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✨ fusion ✨ cuisine
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 11:54 PM
8

It is obvious that some men have many, many options and most do not. You can use "alpha/beta" or "high/low value man" or whatever you want. A man with many options can choose to marry and settle down. He can even remain a virgin until marriage if he wants. Why should he do something contrary to his own desires just to match what someone else thinks he should do? He's still a high value man and he has the options to do something else whenever he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 10:23 PM
3

I personally prefer thin-ish and/or noticeably fit women. There is some level of "thick" that I still find attractive, especially if there are some other attractive things about her. I'm seeing a woman I would describe as thick and not my normal type but she is witty, feisty, and just plain sexy. Getting into outright fat and especially obese territory then no, it's almost impossible for me to be attracted to her. Other guys on here like chubby or even fat women so maybe that's just me. This mig…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 09:21 PM
8

Women just said "Hello" or "Hi" before anyway, to prompt men to then come up with an initial substantive message. Only rarely did women type out a personalized message that would qualify as a "first move". The new system just streamlines the process. Forcing them to type "Hello" was pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 04:59 PM
2

Yeah, I think I understand what you mean. I like to make people feel cared for and valued and that is what I hope women get from me paying for them, not some sense of indebtedness to me. I also think that general sense of a man caring for a woman is what ends up being attractive. There are many other points at which I show care throughout the date and concern for her comfort and safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 01:25 AM
3

I'm 40. These women were around my age, usually mid to late 30s. All had pretty good or excellent jobs. I can see that for some women this kind of display of generosity doesn’t impress them. Does it impress any women? I always assume I get no credit whatsoever for doing this. I'm just playing my cultural role. As I mentioned, I also like being generous and don't do it for credit so it's fine. When I date men I don’t always think about money (even tho if you don’t pay for the dates you can’t be m…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 12:40 AM
2

I always offer to pay 100%. I usually turn down the first offer to split as well and only agree if they insist. They almost never do. But when they do I don't feel emasculated at all. I don't think it's inherently masculine to pay for everything and I tend to be involved with women who have good careers and income. I offer to pay because I want to be generous and because of cultural norms. The few who have insisted on paying 50/50? Some of them have been some of the most gentle, feminine, and ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 11:30 PM
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We're undoubtedly making progress, but I don't believe the 22% figure. Women are still actually selecting men for marriage who make as much or more than them 70+% of the time. To me that is much more reflective of the reality of what women's expectations are.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 11:18 PM
1

Basically agree with the point that red pill is blurring into black pill and these days being negative about women is emphasized over improvement to maximize options and achieve personal relationship goals. The only bullet point I disagree with is the second. I still believe it is very important for a man to manage how he presents his emotions in an intimate relationship with a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 08:51 PM
3

Never insulted, always flattered at least a little. It's cool she was trying to shoot her shot and I try to not make it unpleasant for her so she's not dissuaded from trying again. I get approached by women I find attractive too. Just way less. Maybe women have a different perspective but I don't think most guys would approach women who are so far "out of their league" because it is pointless and can invite a harsh rejection. Basically the phenomenon pointed out in those social media posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 08:46 PM
1

Does it? Your bros might make comments about how they're jealous of you but for everybody else it's like this: Dating a woman on your level -> you already have the status if you're hot (no status upgrade) Dating a woman above your level -> they assume it's because of your money (no status upgrade)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 07:57 PM
9

The original idea this experiment was trying to refute was that almost all men on OLD are undateable - very unattractive and/or creepy, toxic garbage. Now we're quibbling about whether these guys are quite on her level physically and all possible compatibility issues. The goalposts shifted from "not terrible" to "prince charming". You don't think the original idea was put to rest with this experiment? You even admit that one guy is solidly on her level. One obviously hot guy and many other ballp…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 07:37 PM
1

While this is kind of useful as a tool to remind me that I must provide value to a woman for her to want to have anything to do with me, there are much simpler ways to state this point. Parts of this resonate with me because I've never cheated on a woman and yet women have cheated on me. I perceive myself as more loyal than the women I've encountered and I think I have a pretty strong case that this is true. But even if it is true, there is no sense in indulging in victimhood about it. As others…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 05:12 PM
1

This list and some similar pieces of advice are what I think of when I talk about RP. I read through this list and try to find anything BP people would have an issue with and I don't see much. I think I'm thinking about different things than others are when we're talking about RP. Maybe we should start using the term Red Pill Classic™️? A common argument is to say Red Pill is just self-improvement + misogyny. While arguably many of the ideas in the list are kind of suggested elsewhere I found th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:13 PM
5

It's so true. They look backward and view enforced traditional/Christian culture as a stabilizing force for the Western world but embrace a libertine view of sexuality for themselves. So yeah, it's basically just hypocrisy with a ridiculous, nonsensical rationalization. Women should be virgins who I get to marry after I fuck tons of less chaste chicks for half my life. Traditional values are the way to go, so long as they only constrain others and not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:40 PM
5

I can say definitively that is not the point of the book. But it was difficult and confusing to me, at least at first. The author goes into how it's difficult for "Nice Guys" to understand that prioritizing oneself is not selfish. Nice Guys usually believe that others always need to come first and spending time, money, and effort on oneself is bad, especially if it takes time or resources away from doing for others, most especially a man's partner. This was hard for me. I had the instilled ideas…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:55 PM
15

Right. Being a "nice guy" and having all the accompanying wrongheadedness was my curse. I became vaguely aware of the concept before discovering Red Pill, but only enough to know that being that way was bad and shameful. Ok... what's the right way? The most helpful tool in overcoming this was the famous No More Mr. Nice Guy book. This book is not Red Pill and I think any Blue Piller on here could read through it and have no issue with it. The problem is I never would have found it without Red Pi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:29 PM
6

I won't defend the whole of Red Pill, because I don't agree with all of it, but I don't know if "Chad" is inherently a bad concept. In any area in which I want to be competent, I observe the top performers in that area and try to mimic their behaviors. I don't believe I will ever be the very best in the world at anything and that's fine. I also see that the absolute best, the top 1%, collect outsized rewards - the most prestigious jobs, the money, the trophies, the gold medals, the adoring fans.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 09:50 PM
36

When I was ingesting Red Pill content, the most common theme, repeated over and over, was "You don't understand what attracts women. This is all your 'fault' and it's your responsibility to figure out what you're doing wrong and fix yourself to be attractive." I understand others found something different. The YouTubers who seem to be the currently most popular representatives of the grab bag of Red Pill content seem to be just ridiculing and blaming women for clicks, making men feel righteous v…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 09:29 PM
4

Heh. I don't know. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just a hobby. I understand that gym mirror selfies are kind dumb, especially with the dreaded "duck face" or something like that. But I don't know why there is widespread disdain among women toward the fish pic. I guess I understand if the woman is vegetarian but other than that no idea why this became a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 08:28 PM
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That's exactly my experience. I also had to explore Red Pill a bit to learn some valuable lessons. I try to express that it is hard to find this stuff elsewhere but it is essential for men who have trouble figuring this out intuitively. In other words, it's hard to find information that affirms basic equality in most aspects of relationships but is careful to point out where romance is very gendered and expectations are completely different. This needs to include parts like certain displays of d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 08:00 PM
1

Some options: The guy in question has his own tastes and the woman in question doesn't fit that The guy thinks she's great looking but not particularly unique or not his personal type so he downplays this because he doesn't understand what the fuss is about (Scarlett Johansson is kinda like this for me, but I would never say she's mid) Guys are just saying dumb shit on the internet - they'd have a much different reaction if she walked in the room in real life Putting women in general down or try…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:48 PM
6

I could not agree more. ScarJo is obviously beautiful and top tier in looks, but in an extremely conventional way. There are celebrities and gorgeous women walking down the street who make me notice and think "Damn, she just has such a unique look/vibe." ScarJo isn't one of them. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:42 PM
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I could go on about this subject, but I do the exact same thing. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter too much why women enjoy sexually dominant men. They just do. That's what's important. But I do like to ponder the reasons sometimes. I think part of the reason is because it can be more difficult to remove concerns and insecurities to make a woman receptive to pleasure. If a man is not dominant, a woman has to initiate certain sex acts and figure out how to do them. She may wonder if she…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:34 PM
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I've thought about this a lot. Recognizing that women overwhelmingly desire a man to display some degree of dominance (at minimum being comfortable guiding the sexual experience, not necessarily an overt power exchange dynamic) in sex and activities leading to it, I've recalibrated a lot of my expectations about feeling desired. For example, I don't think initiating sex or lack of it is necessarily a sign of desire from a woman. A lot of it comes down to how receptive she is to initiation. I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:15 PM
3

Hehe. If I was a woman I think I might dislike kissing a man with hair or stubble on his face. I landed on stubble because I think I look a little too square without something. Not sure what your experience is, but the overwhelming trend seems to be to have some hair on men's faces so it could be hard to find a lot of guys without! 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:04 PM
2

Only clean shaven is acceptable or some neatly groomed stubble ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:20 PM
4

Would it have made a difference if it was the 10th photo? Hehe I believe this and the gym mirror selfie (or bathroom selfie, of course) are the classic auto swipe left pics for women looking at guys' profiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:19 PM
2

For me, the most impactful ideas about how to approach building attraction as a hetero man come from RP but I've never aligned with any of the extra stuff that has grown up around it like political ideology. Most of my ideas about nurturing a relationship could be considered BP since they come from sources which have nothing to do with RP, though arguably they are also not BP which offers many toxic ideas like "happy wife, happy life". Either way, I've always considered advice for attraction or …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:49 PM
1

Those videos are super vague. I think there's a place for slightly woo woo feel good vibes but dating advice for men is not it. Women can be fantastic dating coaches. In my opinion a great dating coach is just someone who has a grasp on what works and, crucially, does not have any secondary agenda of saying "right" or culturally acceptable things. In the case of advice for men this means not shying away from frankly describing the challenges men face, even if they're not always 100% flattering t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 09:12 PM
13

It seems like you have one point with your title and a different one with the body of the post. You say that men "need to ask themselves if a girl would ever do that to get him." and later "Single guys who don't want to be single need to face this harsh reality" ...that they need to do these things. Well I agree with the eventual point. We need to face the harsh reality. Hetero men and women both face the reality that we need to initially attract someone of the opposite sex before they give a fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 08:43 PM
8

In my experience it’s not usually the primary goal. However, it is a secondary goal for a lot of women. I’ve had casual relationships with plenty of women off of Bumble whose profiles only say they are looking for something long term. When we match I mention that I’m not looking for anything serious (my profile says this too). A lot of them say ok thanks bye. But many others say they’re ok with something casual while looking for a LTR. Most of the women open to casual that I’ve encountered want …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 06:42 AM
4

I hear that. Guys on here routinely list low n-count or being a virgin as the number one attractive quality and conversely a high n-count as the mark of a worthless woman. I talk with friends about relationships sometimes and this just has never come up as a factor. "Wow, Gary, your fiancé has an n-count of 2!" Who says this or even talks about this subject? I doubt Gary has ever even asked her about this. I think it's just another revenge fantasy. Guys who are bitter that they aren't getting se…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 01:10 AM
13

I mean, I understand why low sex drive women conceal this. If they just came out and said they are asexual or close to it then their selection of men would be cut down to maybe 5% of what it would otherwise be. As far as having a promiscuous past they could have been chasing pure validation or what sex drive they did have was only present when they were younger. I don’t think it’s usually malicious deception to dupe a man into a sexless relationship. I believe most women in this situation tell t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:44 PM
1

I hear you that nothing on this list automatically makes you attractive. Also yes, if you don't pass a woman's looks bar you're not getting anywhere no matter what. But if you are acceptable looks wise you will still need to distinguish yourself from the 20 other decent looking guys she's considering at the moment and these things can help with that. Social skills, being a good talker/flirter, having high status, cool hobbies, it all all helps. Women seemingly want a guy who has it all and the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 01:37 AM
3

I agree that travel, exotic vacations, fashion, classic cars, skiing, and the like are all about having high status hobbies that also suggest a man has money. I still don't think money itself makes a man attractive but having money and spending it in these ways does. It's uselles playing the instrument, you need the popular part. For sure the popular part is a 100x multiplier but it's still attractive if you're skilled at a "cool" instrument like guitar or drums. Riding a motorcycle Are you what…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 10:25 PM
1

You called out "taste and desire" and I don't infer "class, family, life and vision of the future" from that, nor do I think the word suitable carries that meaning automatically. But ok, I understand what you mean now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 10:04 PM
3

Not everything works for every woman, but there are some hobbies that make you instantly more attractive to a lot of women. Here are some examples of ones that will make quite a lot of women sit up and take notice: Playing an instrument, especially if you are performing publicly and are at all popular Travel (especially to exotic locations) Riding a motorcycle Racing cars (unfortunately go karts is much more niche) Speaking another language Fashion Fixing and driving classic cars Skiing - especi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:22 PM
1

"suited to me and my taste and desire" In this case I'm not sure what the difference is between a "good man" and an "attractive man" (assumed to be relative to the speakers tastes/desires). This is what I assume most women actually mean when they say they want a "good man" but it can be confusing since "good person" is solely about character, ethics, and morality in other contexts. And yes, those factor in but attraction comes first when it comes to romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:06 PM
1

Haha. Fair enough. I admit I only have an outsider's view of the military situation which can be summed up as "Yeah, we've got a big ass military and it's, like, probably enough." I could definitely see that it's harder these days to retain experienced soldiers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 12:48 AM
10

Thanks for the most balanced take in the thread I've seen so far. The "she had sex with some guy after X amount of time and now she's making me wait Y" discussion is one in which I see both sides. Women can feel differently about when they want to have sex at different times in their lives, after examining their feelings about their experiences, and that's fine. Men can also wonder if she is actually attracted to him when she seems content to wait with him but not with some other guy. In this ci…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 11:10 PM
2

Yeah, I think they're both crucial. Women have 2 bars of attraction (at least). Looks and social skills/charm/behaviors. Maybe you could add a status bar in there too but status is also partially projected socially. If a woman expects an 8 in both then being a 10 in one and 6 in the other is a fail. They are equally important in the sense that they are both indispensable. I often suggest looks maxing first just because the goals are more clear and looks will at least give you an opening to try t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 10:35 PM
2

Dodging the question by saying draft should be abolished is a huge cop out. While I think the US has sufficient standing army for defense for all foreseeable circumstances, if the worst happens and we don't have enough soldiers there will be conscription and it's just a question of whom will be forced into service. To address the main point, I agree 100% that a lot of groups loosely under the conservative umbrella (what passes for "conservative" in the US these days) are not served by the ad hoc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 10:24 PM
3

I think there is always some fuzziness involved, but the way I assign a 1-10 value on myself is by my perceived level of women that I can attract (who will go on dates with me and get in a relationship and/or have sex with me). I could consistently attract what I would say are 5s at one time and 9s at another time. There is also a greatly increased quantity of options. In my view 9s are very rare - I may not encounter a single one for weeks in real life. If I find one I can often attract her, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 10:01 PM
3

Pretty good points here and I think you are closer to a mental model representing reality. But I don't know if I agree with your assessment of what women select. they tend to significantly select softer males with good qualities like caring for other, grooming behaviors, etc It's maybe one of the most oft-repeated critiques of Nice Guys, including here on PPD, that being kind and caring absolutely does not differentiate a man sexually from others. This is table stakes, expected behavior and it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:40 PM
3

Thanks. I think about this topic a lot and many of your points resonate with me. the main thing is, do they believe that kind of behaviour is okay or not. people never really lose control, they just reach a point where they believe the situation justifies their actions. this is one of those things where the behavior largely persists because there's social acceptance for it... Yes, absolutely. I do think there are signs that someone truly wants to be the best they can be for their partner, becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:09 PM
3

I believe so. I've used some "alternative" apps mostly oriented toward sex/kink and have dated women off of there. I am fairly picky so they're mostly above average but some of them are more toward average with specific qualities I like. I've talked with them about their exploits and basically, yes, they get whatever they want. Threesome with two guys? No problem. Guys who will do only exactly A, B, and C sex acts that she enjoys and absolutely nothing else? Sure. Guys who want to get pegged? Ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 06:05 PM
18

My experience of trauma with women is a common one. Almost all of the women I have been in intimate relationships with have been very emotionally/psychologically aggressive during a fight or when they are otherwise angry or upset. I'm talking about going after my most intimate, sensitive spots that she only knows about because I confided something in her or she has observed a particular weakness from our experience together. Attacking for maximum damage without holding anything back. It's the ps…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 02:35 AM
3

Right. I think that's great. I am in no way trying to convince you to care at all about it. I think you should keep on not giving a fuck because it's absolutely the best way to be happy and successful. My comment is mostly responding to the "...am I the only dude around here who isn't bothered by my height?" question to point out that men are often evaluated based on our height, whether we notice or care or not, and lots of guys have negative feelings about this for understandable reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:57 PM
2

It's hard to say how long it will take, but I find the max I can sustainably lose is about 1.5lbs a week. That's feeling hungry most of the time (though I get used to it after a week or two) and with zero cheat days. I find I still have energy for the gym at this deficit. I even usually feel pretty darn good. I know I said I don't usually go by weight, but I from experience I know that 170 is about perfect for being lean for me, with a good amount of muscle. So for you it's probably somewhere in…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:41 PM
1

6' so shorter than the beariest of bears, like a big ass Jason Momoa
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 09:10 PM
1

A big frame is required for this to look good, even to the subset of women who like this look to begin with. Some women have this preference but more like lean. When I let myself go a little bit I start looking like a bear. Heh
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:58 PM
1

I don't target a particular number. I do the mirror test. If I have love handles I slim down until I lose them. Then I concentrate on definition of abs and how much fat I can squeeze around the widest part of my midsection. I aim to minimize that and my face will also be as lean as possible. There is a lower bound of body fat % at which I start feeling weak at the gym, which for me is as I approach 10%. When I hit that I stop cutting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:55 PM
3

You have the right attitude in not being bothered by something you can't change. It almost certainly makes you more attractive to have this attitude. I believe that no specific height precludes or guarantees happiness or success romantically. But, of course, it does have an affect on the number of options a man has. It can determine whether you're "playing" on "easy mode" or "hard mode". I completely understand when shorter guys want to vent about how much harder they have it, because it's just …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:49 PM
1

I don't really think men or women are all that different from each other. If the contexts were flipped and men had the kind of options women have and vice versa as well as swapping the average libido and amount of in-group bias then men would act about the same as women do now. This is to say that I don't buy into the RP idea that women are monsters intentionally harming men or something. They are just acting how any other human would, given the advantages, disadvantages, and incentives they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:29 PM
11

Everybody else seems to be talking about quantity, defining the average guy as "successful" because he is able to find some LTRs and eventually get married and he should be happy with this. I don't disagree that this should be considered success, at least on paper. What is harder to examine and measure is quality of treatment in those relationships. Obviously more attractive men have more options. But the biggest difference between the experience of an average man and a well above average man, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 07:47 PM
2

Why do so many women seeking a relationship sleep with hot guys who have never shown interest in a relationship over and over again, hoping he will commit and be monogamous with her even though he has repeatedly said he doesn't want to "put labels on things"? Because people can get obsessed and fixated on somebody who they think is the ultimate key to their happiness and it can be hard to let that go. What the man and woman in these situations should do is cut their losses and focus on other thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 11:02 PM
1

I don't know how other people interpret "spreading one's seed" but I've always assumed it was just satisfying the biological imperative to have sex in general. It describes men specifically, possibly because their sex drive is stronger on average. I don't think it means literally depositing sperm in a vagina with no protection. I think OP meant it how I think of it but I'm not sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 10:37 PM
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In my best relationships it was very much understood. We just said it to each other at particularly meaningful moments. I feel like it's something that should be reserved for when you're particularly struck by something that occurs to you that makes you love that person. It should always be authentic or it erodes the meaning of something that can be very meaningful. Like some others have said, love is expressed through actions. That's just how I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 01:33 AM
–

Usually signals if I'm going to approach, as in clearly intentionally walk up to her and start talking. But I actually don't do that too much. I'm thinking about the numbers I've gotten and they are almost all from just being talkative with people around me. There was a cute pilot in an elevator at the airport. I said "Hey, I'm flying Delta. Are you going to be my pilot?" and it went from there. I had a lot of questions about what she does because clearly it's a cool job. I think she was flatter…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 10:32 PM
2

Judging by your purple flair and balanced takes, I'm assuming you don't align completely with the school of thought of Blue Pill as you understand it. This is to say that acknowledging that romance is not as idealistic as conventional wisdom suggest does not indicate bad intentions. For example, I don't believe you have roughly 50% bad intentions because you're "Purple" (at least I think you are). That said, I don't disagree that people who identify as purely Red tend to have a "women are evil, …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:17 PM
1

The only part here I would judge people for is deception. You seem to be saying they are intentionally deceiving people to get what they want. If they're deceiving the same amount then I believe they are just as bad as each other. What's worse, exploiting someone's feelings for money or for sex ? Something interesting to think about is what Annie and Bernie want. Bernie wants sex. Annie wants money and/or gifts. Sex is a normal part of a romantic relationship. People want the feeling of being de…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:46 PM
1

I like being strong and I train to be strong, so no. It would also have negative benefit with women. They would be more comfortable being around me sooner but completely disinterested in me sexually. This is what Nice Guys do - they try to be as safe and non-threatening as possible and they are utterly despised by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:29 PM
6

What do I care what you do? Why would you even care what we think? Do what you think will make you happy. You seem to have made up your mind about men anyway. As for other women, a lot of them are hetero and a lot of them put a lot of importance on romantic relationships. They talk about them with their friends, watch movies and reality TV shows about them, read books and websites about them, etc. They know that some men do bad things and still think it's worth it to pursue relationships with me…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 09:27 PM
1

I have my own opinions. For example, I think "barely legal" fetishization is a little weird. There are age gaps that seem too much for my personal taste. But these are just my personal preferences that determine what I do with my own body, not anyone else or their body. Probably some things that I do will seem weird to someone else. That goes for everybody. Anyone on here who has had sex, or is willing to in the future, probably would probably be considered perverted by someone in the world for …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 07:02 PM
2

It's a complicated question and I don't believe there is a simple answer. From what I observe, standards are too high when a woman can never get commitment from the "caliber" of men she dates. I think about women friends I have. Particularly one who states that she "just wants a decent looking guy who has his shit together". Sounds fine. But I've only seen her date super hot men who are very successful and interesting. Definite top 10% guys. Every time it ends up in a "are we dating the same guy…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 09:36 PM
5

Thanks for the thoughtful post. Yes, anything is better than describing the basics of a relationship (consideration, compassion, kindness, understanding) as "labor". It's hard to devise a mindset so destructive as to consider these things as work, presumably deserving of compensation, rather than something freely given out of affection for a person you love. Once people start keeping score in a relationship it's in trouble and "emotional labor" encourages that mindset from day one. But of course…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:10 PM
3

Women spend half their waking lives online, with three quarters (78%) using their phone more than any other device to get online, according to the research. The average female is online for 7.7 hours a day, just over an hour more than the average man who is connected for 6.6 hours of the day. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13167879/internet-usage-gender-study-good-things-foundation.html
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:39 PM
1

I've discovered new hobbies and passions on the internet and have benefited immeasurably from the knowledge of others freely shared on the internet. I've also made more money and become more attractive by finding advice and applying it systematically to real world situations. If you have the drive to improve you will use the internet as a tool do that. If you don't then, yeah, the internet is a great way to waste all of your time and be the biggest loser possible. I don't see this stark gender d…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:30 PM
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You'll be ready when you need to be
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:13 PM
–

We could streamline this process by having a middle finger pic only filter. We have the technology.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:09 PM
–

Do guys have photos giving the middle finger in their dating app profiles? I see this all the time on women's profiles. Sometimes in their 20s, which I get, but 30s and 40s also with some frequency. For me it's an immediate swipe left. I'm too old for this bullshit weak "edgy" posturing. The real thing I'm wondering is if douchey guys think this particular thing is cute somehow, like some immature women apparently do, or if they just do other immature things instead. Edit: For example, guys migh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:03 PM
5

I'm trying to figure out what you're getting at exactly. Allowing your partner to have their own life, spend money on themselves, and spend time apart are all fine, of course. At some point if the part they reserve only for themself grows large and important enough it becomes a valid question of whether they have much investment in their partner. She wants to include you. But you just don’t have enough money. Whenever a guy in the comments here suggests a compromise - pick a different destinatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 06:50 PM
3

She's not obligated to pay one red cent for anything for him. There is no right answer for what she should or shouldn't do. So ok, the Disney pass is just an indication that she has disposable income. You were asking how we would feel in the situation and I'm attempting to answer that question. If travel lifestyle is a big and frequent part of her life and she has no interest in including me then I would feel she is not very invested in me. I would likely end the relationship if I was looking fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 06:12 PM
12

My sense is that women are doing it a bit more than they used to (which is great!) but men are still doing it most of the time. BTW, Bumble doesn't really count as making the first move. 19/20 times it's some variation of "Hello" or, if they're creative, a greeting gif. It's just a "Hi, now you get to send the first substantive message." But yeah, for that 1/20 they do actually "make the first move" and send a personalized message.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 05:45 PM
2

You say she's just going on a trip to have some fun at a resort and do some excursions. This was after going to an amusement park alone previously. This is just something she does. In other comments on here guys point out that she could plan more affordable trips that include both of them (or one trip instead of two) you add extra information, like Hawaii is her lifelong dream trip and this is her last chance to do it. He'd be crushing her dreams if he wasn't ok with it. Well sure, if she stated…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 05:00 PM
1

I agree luck is the single most important factor. Your baseline natural looks. The personality that developed from the environment of your youth without you consciously directing where it ended up. Your self-esteem also developed in your youth that you did nothing to earn. But I reject that attraction is somehow this inscrutable thing that cannot be analyzed or understood. Personally I hate chalking everything up to "spark" or "chemistry" as if it's just luck and completely unpredictable. While …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 08:12 PM
1

I hear that. I know how brutal and frankly dehumanizing it can feel to try to meet women's expectations. On top of that, if you ever express how hurt and confused you feel people say you feel entitled to women's bodies or something like that. I understand how it feels from an average guy's perspective. Below average guys have it way worse. I encourage every guy to at least looks max, get social practice, and work on some attractive attitudes and behaviors before giving up. If, after that, some g…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 07:56 PM
1

The most attractive woman at 30: Physically very beautiful. The most attractive man at 30: Physically very beautiful. Significant in his field. A leader. Interesting hobbies. A wide and diverse social circle including other influential people. The same woman 20 years later: Not nearly as beautiful. The same man 20 years later: Not nearly as beautiful. Significant in his field. A leader. Interesting hobbies. A wide and diverse social circle including other influential people. Now, I think the mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 05:39 PM
9

I don't believe in The Wall. Sure many women feel urgency to partner up and have babies when their fertility window is closing but they're still desired by men well beyond that. I don't look around and see any "power shift" from women to men as they age. Personally I believe women have an advantage, due to men's horniness, their whole lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 11:47 PM
1

6 times a week - lifting for strength and physique and running for cardio health and calorie burn. I maintain a strict diet and count every calorie to maintain low body fat. I get a haircut every 2-3 weeks. I shave and trim everything on my face (heavy stubble with sharp lines) every other day at most. I dress well with a classic American style, usually slightly more dressed up than other men around me but usually still casual. Most of my clothes are form-fitting to my physique. I've spent a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 08:27 PM
1

By disagreeing just for the sake of it? Being nice means avoiding disagreement and conflict. Stop avoiding them and start saying what you really think. By teasing people to the point of making them feel bad? Nah, not until they feel bad, but certainly you shouldn't feel afraid of teasing people in a friendly way. Women want to know you're not scared of them. Naturally disagreeing, expressing your opinions freely and without apology, and not being afraid to tease a bit are all good ways to show t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 12:54 AM
-1

I completely agree that defeatism is deadly. There's a lot of black pill "it's over" thinking and, well, if you think it's over it pretty much is. Otherwise you can reach your potential and have a good chance of finding someone at least near your level. The part I don't get is somehow defeatist guys are going after specific women who would more harshly judge them if they display that defeatist attitude. Am I reading this right? Also traditional or not is mixed up in this? There are some superfic…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 07:17 PM
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Also gotta not cover your ears while an ambulance goes by, looking at your girl and the lesser men covering their ears with a smug smirk
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 06:22 PM
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I believe money is secondary and money by itself does not inspire genuine attraction. Having it can make you legitimately seem better as a long-term partner but personally I don't believe that has any value without attraction. I emphasize appearance first just because it's the most straightforward. I don't believe looks are everything. Money can also help you to adopt attractive, high-status hobbies and interests. Notably travel but some other things that have a cost barrier to entry, like skiin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 06:09 PM
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Hehe. Basically. I honestly think low body fat is the biggest factor. Makes you look good in clothes and look like the majority of male models, actors, and athletes. You look high status. A decently fit looking amount of muscle tone is generally good enough. There are diminishing returns for putting on more muscle beyond that. So you don't necessarily need to be shredded in the sense that you have low body fat and tons of muscle. That's my take.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 05:36 PM
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I don't perceive them as bad people. If they're frustrated in the West and trying to find a partner I wish them all the best. I think it's a bit misguided that they can find true love by just having more money or having some kind of Western mystique but I hope it works out for everybody. For the guys just trying to bang hot foreign chicks, well, I don't see a difference between guys trying to get laid at home and guys doing it abroad. As long as there is no deception or manipulation involved I j…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 05:24 PM
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Yeah I agree 100% with all of that. The thing that makes me wonder is I have a few women friends who get involved with a guy for a while, sometimes a few months, but then it ends, usually because he won't commit. Then they make comments like "I just keep going after emotionally unavailable men." I don't have any insight into their private interactions, but I wonder if she would continue seeing someone for that long with no or little emotional connection. I would think he would have to give her s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 05:13 PM
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Hell yeah, bro. Get a trainer and get your wardrobe immaculate. A style consultant too unless you know you can already dress attractively. That will improve the DM response rate (assuming they can see your pictures) and in person success rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:54 PM
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Is "emotionally unavailable" just code for "he won't commit to a relationship with me" ? Put another way, can a man be emotionally available but not be willing to commit? Or yet another way, can a man be emotionally unavailable but willing to commit? Seems like the last one is possible but I'm not sure it would be usually be phrased that way in that case. I think they should be distinct concepts but thinking through comments from women friends I wonder if they are actually used that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:50 PM
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Damn. Saved. Haha
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 12:43 AM
6

I'm moderate left and date mostly left, feminist, professional women who make decent money for themselves. For me at least offering to split (which I decline on a first date unless they insist) is an indication that they actually want to live out their stated values. It's a yellow flag if they don't offer. Anecdotally I've dated and been acquainted with women who rationalize never paying anything and their entitlement is apparent with many other things as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 08:08 PM
2

Playing Stardew Valley is also easier than real farming
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:24 PM
5

There are some happily married Red Pill guys on here who I've never seen say anything that could be considered bashing women. Obviously there are those who also bash women constantly. To me a non-angry Red Piller just acknowledges that most women are going to be very intentional about maximizing the value of their romantic partners. This is distinct from a pedestalizing attitude of perceiving women as guileless and motivated by pure altruism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 07:17 PM
1

For me it was the opposite. Reading Red Pill and RP adjacent stuff was the first time I had ever encountered the idea that women could be as attracted to me as I was to them. If you don't experience life as a guy frustrated with romance you probably don't understand that this might never occur to a man his entire life. It's valuable to hear something like this to shock him out of his former mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 04:42 PM
4

When I was younger and in the core age groups for clubs either in the unattractive or almost hot category, depending on the time. Once or twice I think I could have gotten lucky but I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't go for it. I didn't go much even at that age, though. Nowadays I'm pretty attractive (fit, well-dressed, confident, bold) and I have no complaints about my options on dating apps or anywhere else. At 40 I feel old for the club, though. Haha. Most women in there are young an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 09:59 PM
1

Chaddus ThunderHutt
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 09:26 PM
1

I say both
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 09:22 PM
1

i dont think relaxing and checking out are remotely the same. I agree and there it is debatable which one it is in almost every situation. My post was mostly about making sure my relaxing is not interpreted as checking out by proactively giving reassurance. ​ solitary vs personal connection is also less a man/woman thing than introvert/extrovert thing imo. I was thinking the same think while writing it and I agree somewhat. But, in my experience, women who are introverted still desire more sense…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 09:21 PM
2

Hey, they all played a role! ...but yeah the sexy princess got the confirmed kill ⛓️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:47 PM
7

I saw a woman's dating profile specify a man's acceptable testosterone range. That's a first.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:45 PM
1

Hehe too much?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:42 PM
2

I don't disagree with this either. There's always two sides to the story, of course. As a man I tend to think "Well, there are a lot of things you're not doing that you did when we were first dating, too" and sometimes feel that I adjust my expectations for her to be lesser or just different when we get deeper into a relationship while she retains her early dating expectations and adds LTR expectations on top. It's hard to be objective about this and I don't know if I can trust my feelings 100% …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:41 PM
1

I've thought about some comments on here about men getting checked out of a relationship or feeling like the can relax after they've "slayed the dragon". I think there is often some truth to this. I believe there's also a tendency for men to not want to talk or interact as much on a daily and weekly basis. Men are more likely to get engagement fatigue and want to recharge with solitary hobbies where I believe more women recharge with personal connection and feeling accepted and understood. Usual…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:20 PM
3

There is a difference imo between this and enjoying some responsibility occasionally being lifted off of you as a favor, which I think most men would enjoy as well. Acts of service is considered a love language, a lot of people appreciate it. It should be reciprocal though, not necessarily in the same way, but in whichever way your partner enjoys. Yes, I agree. It is an act of service and should be offered as such and not as a means to be domineering or controlling. Women will not like it if the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:25 PM
4

I don't think it's wanting to evade all responsibility in most cases, but women desiring some responsibility lifted off of them in a relationship is a lot more common than we explicitly talk about. That women say they want a decisive man is basically code that they want him to take a greater leadership role (could just be a little bit or in very specific areas). For me consciously realizing this helped a lot. I engage women as equals but also have learned to proactively plan and always be ready …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:07 PM
2

Despite what you may see on PPD, not all men view women who they are not interested in for a long-term relationship as detestable. Women also want to have flings with a "bad boy" in whom they see no long-term potential, but they don't hate him either. They may even see him as high value but just not right for her. I hope you can accept that many men feel the same way. If you're also trying to say it's bad to call people names for being "promiscuous" then I agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:28 PM
8

I was being facetious, but yes, guys who struggle with attracting women. As someone who struggled for much of his life I have a lot of empathy for these guys. It was meant as a joke for how they are perceived by everybody else. Maybe I should be more careful.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 03:46 AM
2

Seriously. In my world I accept being called this to accommodate a surprisingly common preference from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 01:26 AM
1

I'd just be happy to be hot enough to be in a soap opera
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 01:13 AM
20

What I've observed at the club: Hot guys who can get women anywhere clean up Guys who are almost hot can sometimes get lucky with a drunk woman who lowers her standards a bit Guys who are not attractive go home alone So yeah, if you're a little above average or maybe even average you can increase your chances somewhat. For nobody else does it really offer a big benefit. As far as I can tell most women who get sloppy and hook up with random guys from clubs are doing it while in college too, so ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:35 AM
1

I think being an outright asshole can work for some guys but it's just not me so it would come across as phony. What I did do was start intentionally projecting more confidence as well as an IDGAF attitude. It was playing up a growing confidence and outcome independence that I was developing. I did this until it became natural and now I'd have to intentionally try to turn it off. It worked. I've improved a lot of things so it's not like there is one factor in my success, but I get a lot of speci…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 10:25 PM
1

future alpha but still kinda sensitive vibez
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:12 PM
2

What's your objective here? Why do you want her to go back to your house? If you're on a date or there is some other romantic context then inviting her back to your place is a pretty obvious sign that you want to get her alone to do something physical with her. She knows what you're up to and she will only say yes if she's open to that, even if it's just making out she's open to. Or she might say that nothing will happen and make sure you agree ahead of time. When you ask, it's still a good idea…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 04:31 PM
2

Hehe. Yeah she's pretty.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 03:59 PM
1

I think I phrased it awkwardly but I’m agreeing with you. A much less attractive man rarely is respected in a relationship. Only a few exceptions I’ve ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 05:05 AM
1

Anecdotally I'm not sure I see a strong correlation. I don't have insight into the sex lives of too many women but I've known plenty of women who have a good deal of casual sex and dress modestly. I've known a few who wear quite bold, revealing clothes on a regular basis but are strictly sex in relationship types of gals and tend to have longer relationships. Then, of course, there are plenty whose behavior seems in line with what you might assume if you had to judge the book by the cover (which…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 12:46 AM
–

I might if I could get chicks that way
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 12:18 AM
–

That's fair. Yes, someone can be paranoid and only harm themselves. What I meant is that I don't take offense to someone's paranoia unless it's harming others. I just pity them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 10:14 PM
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If you know right from the beginning that there is no chance of long-term compatibility I, personally, would consider it morally "wrong" or at least questionable but only if you do or say something to indicate you are open to the possibility of something long-term with her. In that case there is dishonesty involved, which is what makes it wrong. But I don't assume the other person is always thinking long-term. She could want a starter or placeholder boyfriend herself, be on a rebound, or want so…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:54 PM
2

Mom looks better in the face to me but never underestimate the power of height for a man. Also, that pro makeup for the big wedding day can really do wonders. There's no equivalent for men. She might have an unfair advantage in this photo.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:43 PM
5

Anecdotally I notice the first thing a lot (not sure about the second thing - I haven't seen many age gap relationships like that). I see noticeably less attractive men in relationships as miserable objects of contempt. The only exceptions I've seen are where the woman has a lot of psychological issues and he's the stable rock for her and possibly the most attractive guy she can find who will take on that support role long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:29 PM
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I don't think any woman is crazy for taking almost any measure for self protection, so long as she is not harming others or treating others badly. I feel sad if she is noticeably preoccupied with safety but I figure she has had a bad experience or knows about bad experiences. Even if it's unlikely that a given man will be dangerous there is a rational fear behind trying to be safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:45 PM
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Yes. My father is a nice guy who puts everyone else first. He's not a manchild. He worked hard to provide for his family. He has a lot of admirable qualities but he's self-sacrificing to a fault. I'm sure I picked up a lot of my nice guy habits from him. I thought this is what a "real man" behaved like. It took me decades to figure out that these things were repulsive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:39 PM
3

“You’re beautiful” “I’m attracted to you” “I’ve been thinking about you a lot” “I like spending time with you” “I want to kiss you” When I'm trying to attract a woman I tend to avoid these saying these things until after I've won her over (except the kissing one, which I may use when I believe she likes me enough to want to kiss me). Saying these things could indicate too much investment in her too early, which is unattractive. These also could come across as inauthentic, insecure, or manipulati…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:09 PM
2

I don't disagree that by themselves they may not be too helpful, but to me "Play to your strengths" suggests there is potential and prompts action to unlock that potential where "Just be yourself" encourages complacency and inaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:50 PM
7

I agree 100%. For me I got fit and started dressing better. No compromise of who I am for that. Fitness is an added interest and general benefit to everyone. Dressing better is just better presentation of who I am. I also got really good at telling my story. I had some interesting hobbies and skills, I just had to communicate my passions in a way that connected emotionally with others. I like your example of Naruto being a kind of nerdy thing that merely consuming is not attractive by itself, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:46 PM
15

"Play to your strengths" is much better advice than "Just be yourself". But I don't think when people say the latter they mean the former. If that's what they meant they would just say "Play to your strengths" since that is also a well known phrase. "Just be yourself" should be retired unless it's accompanied by some actually useful advice. Even then it's just extra noise and should just be omitted. Well, this assumes that the speaker wants to give real advice. Usually this is just to say some n…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:19 PM
1

The internet is not great for this. In real life people are more reasonable and willing to give you a fair chance. I see good will from women and respond in kind. On here I'm not immune to seeing lots of hot takes about how men suck and women are superior and it affects me emotionally and makes me want to respond negatively. The same thing probably happened to them originally, where they were reading a bunch of garbage about how women suck and men are superior. It's just the nature of the thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:52 PM
1

I don't know why you're getting so much pushback. This seems like a fair, even, empathetic take. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:46 PM
3

"Hurt people hurt people" Or, in this case, the hurt people aren't hurting people directly but they are hoping that others will hurt as much as them. A lot of guys have experienced mostly loneliness, rejection, and humiliation when it comes to romance. You could argue whether this is mostly their fault or not but the results are the same regardless. It can be a sort of sick comfort to believe that somehow we are all the same and will suffer the same in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:41 PM
1

Because we're on a debate sub where there is someone who will disagree with a particular lifestyle, no matter what it is. If someone isn't being criticized for how they choose to live they expect to be putting a comment into an environment where they will be criticized for it and that defensiveness could be reflected in their words. There are others who stridently defend their more traditional lifestyle on here too. You could read shame and insecurity into that as well, but usually they just hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:28 PM
1

Yes, I recognize those as distinct phrases with meaningful differences and I don't think one implies the other. I mean, I think there is a lot of settling for happening when settling down, but people who genuinely view each other as their top choices also settle down.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:07 PM
6

What do you think a "healthy relationship" looks like? I'm still not sure, but I think it's about having enough desire to be with each other to make you both believe that the relationship is worth sustaining. I think as long as two people hold this belief firmly they will find a way to make it work. I see some other posts about communication and I believe those are techniques that must be learned, but the desire to share, be together, and be intimate must still be there. I know that all romantic…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 12:13 AM
2

Yeah I had a similar experience. I had some attention when my photos were 7-8 but it was a big difference when I put up a few 9s. Kinda sad, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 07:55 PM
1

I would take whatever is genuine. It seems like the the words are genuine by the phrasing of the question, so I would take that. I'm not interested in pity sex or sex where the other person is not truly interested for any reason. ​ In real life I don't know if the words are genuine. Talk is cheap. Actions are meaningful. I was told countless times about what a "catch" I was when I was unattractive and they were all lies. No malice intended, but lies nonetheless. Women who are available and actua…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:50 PM
1

I believe I'm in the top 5% based on the matches I get - both volume and quality. I swipe right on around 5-10% and can get a date for a given week basically whenever I'd like. I believe photo optimization was key. I went on photofeeler and just went by the data to tell me what photos were best. I was surprised at how much of a difference a slight change in expression makes. I had a buddy take a bunch of pictures of the same thing with different expressions and body angles and I picked the ones …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:20 PM
12

I don't know if I would think differently if I had grown up in a different culture, but even at my most desperate for sex I never was tempted to go to a prostitute. She could be the most gorgeous, classy, "high end" escort and I'm still not interested. Even if it's a hookup with someone I just met I can't do without the feeling that the other person has genuine desire and wants to enjoy the experience with me. If I just want basic release then jerking off is perfectly satisfying. I want an exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:36 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 06:52 PM
1

For me it has felt like my level of success with women set a sort of upper bound on my success in life. Like success with women doesn't mean I won't mostly be a loser if I accomplish nothing else in life, but lack of success with women means a man is a loser regardless of what else he accomplishes. I don't like thinking this way. Really I hate it. Yet all my life, to this day, I see sexual success as a man being portrayed as an essential part of being a man. Or at least being a significant, inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 05:43 PM
1

As of 2017, 71% of women said that "being able to support a family financially is very important for a man to be a good husband/partner". https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/20/americans-see-men-as-the-financial-providers-even-as-womens-contributions-grow/ So the answer to your question is yes, at least 71% of women believe that a man's resources are important. To me this sounds like a much higher bar than merely not being broke, as well. Supporting a family means you have a surplus …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 05:08 PM
3

I don't believe the attitude of making voting decisions based on whom you can harm or get retribution against can lead anywhere good. I know that political tribalism has taken hold and lots of people are more motivated by giving a "Fuck you" to the other side but I in no way believe this is a good thing or how it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 06:45 PM
2

Seek retribution through voting. It makes me a little sad to see this, but I guess at least you're forthright about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 06:17 PM
3

I don't disagree that the vast majority of casual sex goes to the top men. But what's the alternative? Does restricting contraception or abortion make more men have casual sex? I don't see any political action that could plausibly happen affecting individual women's choices of who they have casual sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:05 PM
-1

I consider myself Purple in that I believe the advice (as found in Reddit sidebars, not on YouTube - I’ve never watched RP videos) is mostly sound but don’t like the overboard demonization of women that sometimes comes with it. I’m politically left with some moderate views and I support all of the things you mention that would give women more reproductive freedom. I also like sex and agree we shouldn’t culturally discourage women from enjoying it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 02:57 AM
0

I don't think it's possible to objectively answer the question. I think men and women tend to impose different hardships on each other at different phases of a relationship (initially meeting, courting, dating, getting in a relationship, possibly getting married, having children, etc.) and there is no objective measure of the severity of these hardships. I believe dating in the initial stages is harder as a man because of lack of apparent options for most and because of cultural expectations of …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:45 AM
1

Most men (not all) are conditioned to be very “process -> outcome” driven in their thinking. So problems tend to be shared with the expectation of advice or a solution, and many men think there’s no point in talking about their feelings just to vent or let them out. Definitely something I've learned and applied from the listening side of this. I used to want to solve problems when my girlfriends told me about them but I learned that all they want is for someone to listen, validate their feelings…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:08 AM
2

I hear what you're saying and it all sounds perfectly reasonable. ​ if they won’t acknowledge any responsibility for their own problems I agree there is, or there should be, a right way to go about it. As with all things, just expressing despair without any plan to resolve or mitigate the problem will push someone away. ​ The tricky part is that all of this is entirely subjective and a man has no way to know ahead of time whether his partner will subjectively feel like his emotional expression i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 11:42 PM
2

I don't send them unsolicited. I figure it's not something the vast majority of women enjoy so it's just in my best interests. Also I think it's often guys trying to nonconsensually include someone else in their fantasy. So I think it's unethical in that sense, even if I don't think it's usually all that psychologically damaging. More of an eye roll moment. Some women ask for them and are turned on by them or want to hook up and want to see if they're still interested. In that case I'll sometime…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 06:02 PM
7

I'll just focus on what to do from a man's perspective, since it's what I most think about. Vulnerability? Yes. To me being able to share how I feel about things and explore the richness of that is key to a relationship and I would rather not have one if I cannot do that. Displaying "issues" meaning emotional problems? That one is tricky. Like a lot of guys, I have had bad experiences opening up with my problems with a girlfriend. Attraction dissipated, the relationship turned sour, and soon I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 08:14 PM
14

When I was struggling it was always a problem with getting that 1st date. It was alright when I could get that. Looking around at guys who are unsuccessful they have a similar problem. They just have no interest at all. No women flirting with them. Getting rejected when they do ask someone out. No matches on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 03:03 AM
1

IMO yes, it’s hypocritical. Maybe women tend to have their own hypocritical desires but it doesn’t excuse men’s. That said, “fair” doesn’t really matter in romance. You can desire whatever you want and if you can attract someone who will accept the situation then nobody can stop you from having what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:12 AM
1

A man displaying what a woman perceives as greater investment in her than she has in him is a recipe for disaster. That relationship is doomed to misery and probably will fall apart. The opposite dynamic can at least work. That said, the best relationship is when both are super into each other, can't get enough of each other, and don't bother to keep score on things like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 07:16 PM
8

One of these two: He is insecure and wants to feel superior (if he is sneering or ridiculing you it's this one) He wants to know if you are as into something as he is before attempting to geek out on the details with you AND he has poor social skills (there are better ways of sussing this out without coming off as insulting) For the second one, I can be a real nerd about some topics and want to get deep into the details on it. I find a lot of people don't, so I want to launch into a whole thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:53 PM
4

I don't believe there is a resolution to this. It's "Women usually give men clear signs that they are unhappy." vs. "Women don't make it clear enough that they are unhappy." It sounds like the old "Women do approach. We give clear signs of interest. Men just aren't picking up on them." vs. "Women do not approach or give clear signs. A look that is 600ms longer than a glance is not a clear sign." Who is right and wrong? Are women too subtle or are men too dense? There is a subjective case for bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 07:10 PM
1

I don't like the term "self love" much, but I agree that people should be able to be happy by themselves, with no one person expected to be there to prop them up. The things is, this is hard. It takes time and effort, sometimes a lot. Most people don't achieve this. Just because most people fail at it doesn't mean it's bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 06:00 PM
1

For most of my life I believed in an inscrutable spark, an unexpected, almost magical connection. That was the power of love. Conventional attractiveness was an optional cherry on top. I didn’t even think about status. I was mostly unsuccessful but the stars aligned a few times so I got a girlfriend. This was enough to preserve my believe that love spontaneously happens between two souls irrespective of any kind of “value” offered. I eventually wondered why the girlfriends I could get cheated on…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 04:14 PM
2

No doubt it happens sometimes. There are just a lot fewer women out there misrepresenting their intentions for sex. Even in those cases I believe most guys don't consider being played in this way as being as bad. Just talking about general tendencies. I'm sure there are guys who are very hurt after getting used for sex, just way fewer than women. I'm trying to think of a case in which a man would raise their standards as a defense mechanism. Like, if he raises his standards he still usually has …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 01:36 AM
4

Seems to be rough correlation with population density it most cases
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 11:58 PM
2

I don't think so much for men, but for women, yes. I think there is fear of rejection and fear of a man misrepresenting his intentions of commitment to get sex. At least if you aim high and can't get him to commit it doesn't sting so much. If she takes a chance with an very attractive man... and secures a relationship - she won the lottery! and gets pumped and dumped - at least it was fun and she can humble brag to her friends about what an asshole he is If she takes a chance with a not-so-attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 11:24 PM
2

Fair enough. I agree it's a performance. Seduction is a performance. A lot of life is seduction, including non-romantic parts. There are those who are good at it and those who are not. And it can be practiced and learned.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 08:19 PM
2

Well I disagree in that women who aren’t naturally the things I list have to be inauthentic to attract men and them being inauthentic often works! I don't think I disagree. I think this is close to my main point if I'm understanding it correctly. Men often don't care if a woman is inauthentic, mostly because men are horny. ​ And men who don’t naturally have game and swag and aren’t all that masculine have to be inauthentic to attract women and them being inauthentic often works! The only part I …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 07:38 PM
2

Some of these are just giving indicators of interest. Others are, well, patronizing. Haha. And I don't disagree that it will get a man's attention. Most men will be loving it if they're getting signs that a woman they're into is attracted to them. That's all it takes. In other words, these assume men are kind of simple and gullible. And we are. ...well, to a point. I like sex. I like sex with attractive women. If an attractive women is laughing at stuff I say even if it's not funny or is being v…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 06:57 PM
1

An ok! I think I misinterpreted your comment. I understand your point. I mean, weight management is hard as fuck. I will never tell anyone it's easy. But it's at least a challenge that can be broken down and solved by an educated person, even if that person has worse genes/metabolism than another. It's the same advice that I would tell a short and/or ugly guy. You don't have the advantages that other guys do, but you still have to just get to it to reach your potential. It's not your fault that …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:34 AM
1

Not my type but they're ok
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:15 AM
2

I know that it's not the fault of the individual that most cheap foods are fattening and terrible. Still, I consider weight management to be much more straightforward than fixing your loneliness, for example. So, even though it's difficult for most people, I consider weight to be a personal responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:14 AM
2

Arguably he has a reputation to uphold that he's slacking on but this does feel like growth 🥹
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:05 AM
1

I can't do it. I might be angry, frustrated, or have borderline hatred for someone but the moment I see them in pain I feel bad and all those negative feelings evaporate. Any subreddit dedicated to making fun of miserable people makes me want to vomit. I just don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:04 AM
2

I agree with everything you said. That said, you can check the charts on a recent post https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b79cgd/if_mens_carnal_first_choice_is_younger_woman/ Even if men are falling apart as they age, most women still are most attracted to someone around their same age and not the young, virile stud.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 06:00 PM
2

Well, yes. Just as some heir born with high status and infinite time and money to engage in attractive activities has it on easy mode, guys from the USA and other influential countries will have an unearned perception of high status and probably unearned wealth due to living in a prosperous place.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:55 PM
1

I don't want children so I would have fun and as much companionship as I could with the women I'm attracted to. If I really, really wanted children I would settle for one of the unattractive women. What other choice would I have? The example may be contrived, but somewhat illustrative of things that happen in reality. I think the other post was just trying to get women to admit the obvious. You're turning it around and asking men to admit the same obvious things. So I did. At least the thing abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:44 PM
11

If you want insight into the brains of Nice Guys, then I'd suggest anyone to read No More Mr. Nice Guy. It really nailed a lot of my previous thought patterns. The principle idea that underpins the Nice Guy behavior is: If I can just always do the "right" thing then my life will be good, with few problems, and I will have my needs met. What are the "right" things? Follow the rules in every area of life you can - school, job, following laws. Also treat people the ways they seem to be saying they …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 09:34 PM
0

It's never over. The more disadvantages you have the more limited your options are and the more you'll have to grind, but guys of all education levels and occupations have had success with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:14 AM
2

I kind of understand that. I invest time and effort into being very fit. How many people in general do the same at my age? Not many. So I'm not attracted to most 40 year old women. Proportionally I find a lot more 30 year olds attractive in that they meet my looks bar, because it's so much easier to be in good shape at that age. But when I see a fit 35-40yo she might be pretty close to my ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 12:26 AM
0

There is a lot of stuff in here and it goes off the rails. But if your point is "Women are very resistant to any suggestion that they are not, categorically, the ones who should be pursued, earned, or won over" then... yeah, I agree with that. The imbalance of average libido and cultural conventions of men pursuing has understandably calibrated expectations accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:52 PM
1

I've never asked and I don't know how I would. I'm not too sensitive to n-count. Maybe I'd be curious but I'm not sure how I'd ask basically the equivalent of "So, are you, like, a total slut?" (Not that I think women with high n-counts are "sluts". The question would just come across that way.)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:45 PM
1

In my experience young, immature women sometimes like to make a show out of rejecting a guy to indicate how much better and out of his league she is. Probably an insecurity thing. I experienced and saw some pretty fucking nasty rejections through college. Afterward I haven't gotten any and don't recall seeing any that were needlessly cruel. Luckily most people do grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:01 PM
-1

Because they're indulging in self pity and they're going to think unproductive thoughts while in this mindset. Eventually guys need to grow up and just accept reality for what it is, see that life will not always be "fair" and that it's no individual's fault (man or woman), and just do what's best for them given the circumstances. Not all guys get out of the anger/self pity phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:44 PM
1

I don't want to have kids but if I did, yes. For long-term I would not want a woman who has obvious or "extreme" plastic surgery. If she got something done that makes her feel better about herself but still looks kind of normal or natural then great. I have no problem with that. Natural-looking breast implants are very common these days, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:26 PM
1

It's a soft preference for me. While now I prefer women a bit younger I also am attracted to some who are older than me. Some nearly 50 year old women are still very hot to me. I believe as I get older I'll slowly adjust my expectations and what feels normal to me. My libido has decreased somewhat already in my life (though still going strong) so by the time it really starts to decrease I believe I'll be less focused on raw physical attraction. That's my guess as to how it will play out anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:57 PM
1

Every word of this matches my observations and experience. I am still fascinated by the combination of ...they knew how to make women feel attractive... and ...sends the message that they want you but don't care if you want them back It never occurred to me to not want (selfishly and egotistically) a woman to think I'm the single hottest guy on the planet and for her to just have to have me. Women want to feel like a guy is giving them signs of interest and attraction but don't want him to be ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:29 PM
1

No fucking way. Haha I mean I don’t judge people for what they want. Especially if the group as a whole tend to have a preference it’s not like they are all choosing this to be shallow or something. Like how 97% percent of women want a male partner taller than them (too lazy to find the source now). There has to be something biological going on, something culturally inescapable that no individual is culpable for succumbing to, or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:01 PM
12

Huh. I guess I’m weird. I’ve always thought women around 35 were super hot and have been my top preference my whole life. Young women have their appeal but a 20yo just looks so dang young, unless she’s really mature looking (I’m 40).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:41 PM
1

Thanks for reading and being thoughtful with your post and reply. I'm thinking about your gun/knife analogy. I agree if we're talking about certain PUA tricks and such that I believe could only work on... quite dim women. But if we're talking about the entire advice portions of BP and RP (and not the accompanying philosophies about men/women good/bad) as they are commonly conceived, I believe there is about 80% overlap as far as the concepts at least being mentioned. The difference I see is prio…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 11:48 PM
14

I want to connect enough that it feels like there could be a connection, but I don't actually want to pursue that. 100% my experience. Most women don't want to hookup directly off an app. Their primary goal may be sex, but they want a little conversation, flirting, caring, and connection first, even if it's just a few hours of fun hanging out before getting down to it. Some women just want a perfunctory vibe/safety check in public first, but more want to feel a little build up and emotional attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 09:18 PM
0

I don't want to be involved long-term with a woman who I don't admire, a lot. And as I suggested, this is two-way. If I'm into a woman who I admire and respect and she adores me I'm going to adore her right back. I don't think most relationships are like this. It requires a high level of sustained attraction. But it is what I strive for. If you're aiming for something more chill that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 04:56 PM
56

When you're among a woman's top options and in a relationship (casual or serious) with her, there is an unabashed admiration, almost adoration for you which is demonstrated constantly. If you don't feel this, you're in trouble. You've very replaceable. BTW, I think it's amazing if you feel the same way about her. One-itis is not a bad thing as long as she has it for you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:17 AM
3

I don't disagree with the title at all. I've heard that "Red Pill is for losers" and I agree with that. If a guy has received conventional wisdom about romance and intuitively filled in the blanks with experience and has obtained success, I say if it ain't broke don't fix it. Red Pill is remedial for guys who don't get it. An analogy that comes to mind is with basketball. Blue Pill is the basic rules of the game. You have to dribble and stay in bounds and if you put the ball in the basket more t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:03 AM
3

I don't believe higher SMV for a man is ever a disadvantage. Being hot gets you the most options for casual sex and relationships. Then you filter/vet from there. Having 1000 options to filter on vs. 5 or 0 is a great "problem" to have. I feel bad if women are lying to him about their intentions, same as I feel bad for women, who usually get this worse than men. Still, it seems like he's going after a type that has no intention of commitment. I frankly don't believe that Chad can't get women who…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 12:36 AM
–

Before I would probably be asking for his objective attractiveness. I had a hard time figuring out what women were attracted to and why. Not I have a much better handle on this but I’m still surprised occasionally. Now I’m probably asking just to know what she likes and get to know her a bit. And I’m still interested in how attraction works in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:50 PM
1

Be honest because it’s the right thing. Sometimes women will appreciate it and reward you for it. Other times they won’t be interested, which is fine. Sometimes they will judge you for your desires, which is shitty but that’s life. You could probably get some more sex by lying but it’s not worth it to be a liar IMO. I indicate that we can have some fun together apart from just sex. Most women want fun dates and a FWB rather than just a fuck buddy. I also say that I don’t bring expectations into …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:31 PM
1

I've been groped (ass and crotch) a few times at bars and once at a work event that involved alcohol. Also punched, slapped, and shoved by a couple different women I was involved with. I never felt scared or particularly violated. I recognize that someone bigger or stronger doing it to me would feel different. Still I'm a bit irked that I am careful about everything I do and say and they were indifferent to any ethical boundaries and had zero fear of consequences. It's the principle of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:54 PM
11

I agree to a point. I am now confident in my abilities to figure out where I stand with a particular woman, but it wasn't always that way. I mistook certain things as interest and other times missed actual indications of interest. People should generally know when they have a chance. Not perfectly, but close enough. I absolutely agree you should work on your social calibration and try to generally know where you stand. Most people can at least improve. Still, guys who are clueless or neurodiverg…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:32 AM
2

I don't understand guys who think that money can create genuine attraction, which is the only kind I'm interested in. I don't see this happening in the real world. But sugar babies and gold diggers do exist and some men can get sex with them by offering money. Not for me and I'd suggest men and women pursue genuine relationships first, but if both parties are good with the arrangement then whatever. I hope they're happy (though I have my doubts).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:03 PM
1

The advice part of Red Pill (not all of the extra bluster and pseudo-scientific diatribes about the True Nature of Women) is remedial information about romance and sex for guys who didn't have the intuition to understand it naturally. Guys who did well enough with no extra help are not going to seek it out. So of course these ("Blue Pill") guys are more fortunate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:55 PM
1

I think BP/RP agree on this. Well, the RP that I've come in contact with encourages social activity of all kinds and being "in demand" socially. Doing the minimum like this to have a life, be interesting, and expose oneself to socialization could help a lot of the incel-y guys on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:40 PM
49

This video is only really trying to say that fat and/or awkward guys suck. If this video featured a good looking, smooth guy it would be entitled "POV: He's finally going to ask you out 😍"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:24 PM
1

We all have thoughts and feelings that are not "appropriate" and we don't wish to share with anyone else. I do and you do too. If not about this then something else. As long as those thoughts don't turn into actions that harm someone let's save the judgement. Thoughtcrime and thought police are not things that should exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:10 PM
1

Get good at telling your story in a way that interests people. Have a stockpile of anecdotes that you can bring up when certain topics come up. There are many books about charisma and conversational skills. Search for them and read so of the popular ones. This will take practice. If you can get a lot of dates you can practice with them. Otherwise anywhere where you will meet new people and introduce yourself is good. About 80% of charisma skills are the same in romantic and non-romantic contexts…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 04:02 PM
2

It's still very valuable to know ahead of time if you're going to be rejected no matter what you do
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 05:26 AM
–

lol hol' up I did not see that one coming
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:39 AM
–

I would, if there was no social/romantic penalty for doing so. Eating is a fundamental shared activity among humans where a lot of bonding occurs. If I stopped doing this I would miss out. I could still attend but I don't believe it would feel the same to others, or even myself. If it were just about forgoing the enjoyment of food and somehow magically compensate for this then absolutely. As a man who is getting older and who wants to stay around 15% body fat I already rarely eat food for pure p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 08:37 PM
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It started sounding kinda nice, then ended with scrotal frenzy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 08:28 PM
8

I do view BP as a Disney style romantic ideal most typically embraced by liberal/progressive people, with a healthy dose of just world fallacy. Oddly enough some very conservative and religious people have very similar views, with the just world being established by God to make sure everybody has their perfect mate out there to join with and create more devout babies. Each group suggests that romantic success is a prize for adherence to their agenda. For liberals if you respect women enough and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 06:43 PM
5

...and you both lived happily ever after. Just kidding. That's the most bizarre story I've ever heard about Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 06:10 PM
6

Sometimes it is trying to say "Don't overthink it" which is not terrible advice in that you shouldn't try to change everything and create some suave, romantic persona. It is overly simple in that there are specific behaviors to demonstrate to provoke attraction and specific actions which must be taken to bring about romantic relationships which are distinct from platonic interactions. But often this is just a put down, telling a guy he is not having success because he is hateful or misogynistic …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 06:01 PM
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I am not a doctor and you should consult with your doctor before starting a diet or making any nutritional changes. Possibly side effects of using the following advice are death and/or dry mouth. Nah
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:03 AM
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Hehe. Ok, it's contrived but I would appreciate the thought behind the gift. She's just doing it to make me feel better, it seems. I don't think I would wear it unless she was somehow more attracted to me in it. I would stop complaining to her about it regardless. That's never attractive. I would also look for a different job but I'm assuming another rule would prevent me from escaping being fat. Hahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:10 AM
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I don't know if I can answer in a straightforward way because I don't accept the premise that someone can't lose weight if they don't have time for exercise. Weight loss is all about diet. But to attempt to answer the question, if I was bitching about something that is completely in my control and my wife gave me a gift to try to make me feel better I would appreciate it. I would not wear it and I would ask her to return it. I would feel ashamed about my idle complaining and lose weight like I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:34 PM
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Yeah, for real. I had no idea they could be so nicely done. If they had asked me for their opinion on getting them done beforehand I'd have said "No way, you're gorgeous and shouldn't change anything." But seeing the results I'm all like, ok, I have to admit that's a nice pair of titties. Then again I never met a boob I didn't like. I would have liked them before too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:04 PM
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-she already has a kid. If it's true that you care about the future, ensuring that this kid grows up well, would be in your best interest, no? I don't disagree that it's good if it happens to work out that way. But I reject the idea that anyone has to make personal romantic choices for the benefit of society. It's like the suggestion that women should lower their standards because it will reduce male loneliness. I guess you did preface this with "If you really cared about the continuation of our…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:23 PM
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I think everybody deserves a little compassion. I still think these guys should take responsibility and improve their situation, though. ​ Why is it usually the people who demand the most empathy and grace for themselves have the least empathy and grace for others? I'm not sure if this is your intention, but this is reminiscent of the common sentiment that all romantically unsuccessful guys are struggling because they're toxic, hateful, or misogynist and therefore they're getting what they deser…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:16 PM
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Anecdotally, I've observed that this is very popular these days. I've been with quite a few "girl next door" sometimes quite modestly dressed women who seem to have some nice boobs. Not ridiculously big or anything. If they're skinny I assume the bra is a bit padded. Get them naked and oh, ok, they're implants that are made to seem natural and subtle with clothes on. You can still tell they're implants when nothing is covering them, but some of them are impressively naturally shaped.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:09 PM
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All other men are genetic garbage? Are you the Alpha-est Alpha and the only one worthy of reproducing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:26 PM
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This has not happened to me, but... If you were rejected like this for feature on yourself, where someone says this feature of your body is so displeasing that they cannot stomach continuing with intimacy with you, would you feel completely fine about it? Also, you say it's a preference, but this is someone expressing a hard requirement and telling the other person they are hopelessly inadequate to meet their standard. And of course that's their right. Nothing the guy can do about it. It's also …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 01:08 AM
4

I don't think it's a thing at all. Of course "exotic" foreign men are interesting to women just as foreign women are to men. Women sometimes have a fling with a hot local guy when traveling just because the option is often available to them. Sometimes they might fall in love and a green card comes out of it, but I think it's nearly 100% men traveling to take advantage of women in countries with less opportunity who are looking to upgrade their situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 03:58 AM
4

I’m all for clearing up of misinformation. I’ve found a lot more women can come from penetration than conventional wisdom suggests and I wondered what gives. Still, I’m going to try all kinds of things to make her come and blow her mind and I suggest all guys do that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 01:55 AM
3

I'm going through a bit of a hoe phase and have had casual sex with several dozen women. I also have a larger than average penis, which I only bring up because it's relevant here. My anecdotal experience is that about 20% of women love it, 60% of women consider it a minor plus, and 20% are indifferent to it or consider it a minor negative because it can make sex more painful and blowjobs more uncomfortable. I think one woman told me she could come from penetration only with a bigger dick. All ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:35 PM
1

I don't think it's usually some kind of conscious strategy. Women just feel more or less cautious based on their personality and experiences. Maybe some women present as disagreeable to ward off advances, but there is still the idea of safety involved in the equation. Bad things can happen, some of them specific to women. There's no solution to this. As a man I just keep this in mind and do my best to present myself as kind and safe. I don't take it personally that women strangers don't know tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 07:10 PM
1

Yeah, I'm not trying to make it out that the opinions of men are somehow the magical spring from which all validation flows. You can be thinking about women being attracted to you. Or women acknowledging you're attractive. And of course your own opinion that you're sexy. The point is just that our image of what is sexy is heavily influenced by culture. For men, for women, for everybody. Whether there is any specific person in our mind when we are admiring ourselves in the mirror, we are drawing …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 07:08 PM
5

I don't disagree that the online talk is annoying and always says men are somehow doing it wrong, regardless of what we do. I'd suggest learning to ignore it or not take it too seriously. Women are almost always noncommittal about signs they put out. What does the smile mean? It's meant to be vague. She has plausible deniability. Making it too clear would mean she would be open to explicit rejection. If you approach and she likes your vibe then of course it was a smile indicating she was attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 06:28 PM
2

It never occurred to me to feel this way by myself. If I look in the mirror and feel sexy it's because I'm about to go out where people will see me and looking good gives me a confidence boost. Or if I step out of the shower and see myself in the mirror and notice some more definition in the abs I think the ladies will think this is hot. In other words, it's a brief imagining of how other people will respond to me and enjoying the idea that it will be positive. I may look at myself and think tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:57 PM
15

It is justified in the sense that, yes, it is absolutely frustrating that we don't live in a Just World where good people are always rewarded and bad people are always punished. I am frustrated with this and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it so. But I can't. In that sense I think sexually frustrated guys should receive compassion, just like any struggling human. They should usually go to their bros for this support because most other people don't want to hear it. Guys asking for compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 10:39 PM
1

I don't think it's inherently feminist or not. Ostensibly it's indicative of a desire for a traditional relationship and a feminist can desire that for herself. I don't really want a traditional relationship and I don't see many women wanting that either. I'm suspicious about women who don't at least offer to split (I always offer to pay but I appreciate an offer to split, even a kind of weak one). This is because most women I date want a mostly modern/egalitarian relationship and expecting the …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 10:22 PM
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I don't really notice once I get into it. More fun without but not a big deal. I'd rather be safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:25 PM
9

It's not so much whether or not you actually have a lot of sex, it's whether or not you have any apparent romantic options. Even if you are religious and don't want to have sex until marriage this is important. Having few/no options while seeing others having options is bound to make a person feel lesser, regardless of cultural views on sex. Edit: Yeah, OP was making it all about sex so they were the one mischaracterizing this. Never mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:00 PM
1

Yes, basically. I've thought a lot about validation seeking behavior over the past several years, initially kicked off by wanting to be more attractive to women but I find it's applicable almost everywhere. I noticed I was doing a lot of things to solicit validation, affirmation, and approval. Bragging was something I sometimes did to try to get agreement with my positive assessment of myself. This stuff is deadly to attraction and women especially see through it, in my experience. I also used t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 08:26 PM
1

At first, yes, now not so much. My family is stoic and arguably emotionally stunted. Strong emotions were usually treated as an annoyance. I gradually came to understand that not everyone is like this. From my teenage years I became quite expressive emotionally because it seemed so freeing. With guy friends, with girls who were friends, and eventually girlfriends. I'm sure by childhood still influences me in some way, but being older (40) the way I express myself is mostly influenced by consciou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:59 PM
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I agree with that. I see both sides of it. I don't blame the woman for being either mentally or physically prepared for the possibility of abuse, whether there was any sign of it or not. It could happen with no warning. There's usually some kind of signs ahead of time but no guarantee. I also understand the guy's perspective (if we take what he says at face value - this particular guy seems shady, so maybe he's not a good example). For a man or woman, discovering that someone you are in love wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 10:08 PM
15

It's terrifying to me, as a (somewhat moderate) liberal. Liberals have been bleeding support from men on gender issues and intolerance to even discuss anything not conforming to prevailing thought. The damage has been mostly bearable with WAW as the dominant perception of gender among voters. As young men who reject this grow up and start voting it could be deadly. Something's got to give.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:42 PM
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Well put. I understand the defensiveness when guys claim that women could only possibly wear a provocative garment directly for male attention. Usually it's more complicated than that and possibly for multiple reasons, as you've described. My only beef with simplistic "doing it for me" type responses is that it denies that the benefits gained from wearing more sexually provocative clothes is eventually derived from it being sexually attractive to somebody, even if it is indirect by several level…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:13 PM
1

Sorry for what you're going through. As someone who has been cheated on it feels like I can never completely trust anyone ever again. I know there are women who don't cheat... but how do I know if the one I'm with will not? There is no good answer except you have to accept the possibility of being hurt to experience love and trust. As for me, no I have not and will not cheat. I've decided I will no longer stay with someone if I'm not happy. In the past I felt like I had to stick it out with some…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:41 PM
3

If we're talking about confidence, of course men will struggle to obtain it. It requires evidence that you can be successful, which usually means already having success. If you really believe that men can "Just be confident" or "Just have swagger" then yes, it seems easy. But that's a fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:09 PM
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As a man you will just have to act and take a chance in situations where there is uncertainty in the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, accepting the possibility of rejection. It doesn't seem "fair" that women don't have to do this, but they don't. We wouldn't do it if we didn't have to either. I try to look at it as a way distinguish myself. Most guys are very scared, even terrified, of approaching. If you get comfortable with rejection, and able to consider that it doesn't have to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:01 PM
-1

It's always how many romantic options you have. The market determines your value. Anything else is a guess or posturing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 09:43 PM
2

Maybe it's the kind of people I associate with, but I don't see these pushy assholes or hair-trigger violent men at the top of the SMV pyramid. They do much better than the timid, passive nice guys and simps (obviously), but they get middling results. The guys I see cleaning up are good looking (of course), high status, charismatic, good talkers with any company, and specifically not pushy. They have outcome independence and it shows. They have an attitude of "I can have sex with any one of a do…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 06:45 PM
1

And that's fine. I also know guys who are not exceptional in any way but found the love of their life at 23 and lived happily ever after. Good for them. They did it. For me I don't want to count on luck. I want options so I can choose someone who I believe is a great match for me rather than possibly settling for what I can get. I also want to have a variety of sexual experiences with different women. This is not the end all, be all in life, but it is something I want to feel like I've experienc…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 09:55 PM
1

Here's my basic list for looksmaxing. ​ Like for basic grooming, healthy habits, proper communication and manners, etc you don't need to be a playboy to have those, you just need some encouragement. Yes, there are things you need to have down for baseline adult competency. These are common among men and women. They don't make you attractive, they just prevent you from being disqualified immediately. ​ I don't think much in RP is completely unique to it, but for me it did call my attention to how…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 09:25 PM
1

Yes, fantastically so. Looksmaxing was the easiest step since it's straightforward. Developing attractive behaviors took a while. It was a lot of trial and error and internalizing concepts to learn what really works and then practicing them until they were authentically a part of me. Some of what helped me was RP content, but mostly I credit RP with pointing me toward some good books and exposing me to ideas that were the opposite of what I believed at the time, to provoke curiosity about these …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 07:21 PM
1

My goal with consuming content about attracting women was to have options. Also to be able to sustain a woman's interest, if I desired. This is the same whether mainstream advice, RP advice, or less mainstream non-RP advice. People say things like if you do A you'll only attract X type of women and if you do B you'll only attract Y type of women. I don't believe this. The attraction triggers are the same and rest on the same principles regardless of situation or goals. A religious man who is loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 06:53 PM
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It can be either. If a man doesn't know how to make going down on a woman feel dominant he probably isn't good at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:30 PM
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Obviously not the way to be a sincere, devoted adherent, but an undeniably a good play to get women. The reformed bad boy is just about max sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:24 PM
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Looking better has a positive effect on almost every interaction with another human, including non-romantic ones. I use every tool available to me to maximize my looks and I expect a lot of women will want to as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:14 PM
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People mean a lot of different things with "chemistry" and "spark" but your examples are about guys being boring and disagreeable, so I'm going to assume you're talking about conversation skills and being agreeable. Some people consider "chemistry" and "spark" to be these completely inscrutable concepts. I disagree. Maybe you do too? ​ To answer your question, I think social/conversational skills, flirting, "game", increasing sexual tension through verbal and physical means, etc. are all address…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 07:14 PM
13

I’m Caribbean not African. ​ What the fuck does your ethnicity have to do with what I'm saying here? I think you might have replied to the wrong comment. Maybe he thought you were saying he's from Chad? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 10:48 PM
3

Men have always noticed that a small percentage of men have much more access to sex and relationships. Men have always asked "Why do women like Bad Boys and not me?" and other such questions. We just have the internet to complain about all of that crap now. People on that same internet can chime in and say you're a dickwad for complaining about it. On and on. It just seems bigger and grander these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:58 PM
1

Maybe once they are virtually indistinguishable from a real human. Even then they will not satisfy the desire humans have for validation, with the man knowing, deep down, that he's interacting with a machine programmed to desire him. I imagine it will also be socially unacceptable, with all of his friends and acquaintances knowing that he can't get a real woman and is using an advanced sex toy and loneliness mitigating device.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:53 PM
2

Butch/masc lesbians are competing only against other butch lesbians, for women who desire someone from this relatively tiny group. Straight, masc males are competing against all other straight, masc males, which is a relatively enormous group.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:39 PM
1

Honestly when I look at weight loss subs, I see people who are way heavier than me, and they lose weight so much faster and they don't have to cut calories as much as me to get better results. I feel that. I used to be pudgy and the weight just flew off. Great progress every week. Below 20% body fat it got harder. I aim for under 15% while maintaining strength and it gets really hard. ​ Losing weight when you're technically in the healthy weight range is a completely different game. I was going …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 06:55 PM
1

I agree with the part that "the ick" is about someone having an abundance of options. I believe two groups tend to get the ick - most women and very attractive men. They both can afford to be very selective, so they often are.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 06:35 PM
1

Respect. Weight loss is brutal. Most people are not able to do it. Going a week or more without the scale budging is absolutely the hardest part and that's when most people tap out. For me paleo or keto, counting calories strictly, and staying busy with activities that don't involve food works. ​ Also, fuck the Holidays, they've set me back 8 weeks and at least 8 lbs of fat loss. I really can't overstate how upset I am over that. I'm literally a ball of impotent monkey rage over my own powerless…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 06:04 PM
5

truerateme is the most extreme scale I've ever seen. Everyone 7+ is uniformly gorgeous. 5+ is pretty darn attractive too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 05:50 PM
5

Yeah, I feel like using percentile gives at least a chance at being more objective. To me 7/10 is maybe 15-20% of the total population and others have different ideas. Still, I think most people think they or average or a bit above.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 10:59 PM
9

Yeah, exactly. I've never been in a friend group where there isn't one guy who gets as much sex as all the other guys in the group put together. You go to a bar or a club (mostly in my younger days) and these guys have the option to go home with a new girl every time and every other guy gets lucky maybe 1/25 times or only gets sex in a relationship. Which is fine. Maybe everybody is happy and getting what they want and need. I'm not saying the hot guy necessarily has a better life, all told. Ok,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 10:24 PM
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I haven't got my fill of compliments on my body from women just yet. I feel like I get a lot, granted way less than an attractive woman gets. ...but no woman has ever said to me "But you're hot" to suggest I shouldn't have any problems in life. Everybody on Reddit says "Just dump him" but really this guy seems irreparable. Can't even pretend to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 09:57 PM
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They're just envious of something they don't have - lots of options and sexual attention. Not always all it's cracked up to be for women, grass is always greener, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 09:49 PM
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This feels right
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 09:45 PM
5

I define attractiveness completely by how many options one has, for casual sex and relationships. Anything one's friends say or self-evaluation is a guess. A lot of guys read a Red Pill blog and think they're suddenly Alpha Chad but reality says otherwise. Maybe you're right in the sense that an attractive man may not have many options in a small town or casual sex could be rare in a very religious community. He should still have more options relative to other men, though. I'm not making any jud…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 09:38 PM
16

There are so many branches of RP and I'm pretty sure I disagree with all of them. A lot of the core advice is solid, but as soon as it becomes politicized or starts telling you what you should do with the advice (like have a trad marriage) it becomes complete bullshit. To me the Red Pill is, at its simplest, the idea that men need to cultivate options in a realistic way to have a chance at a level playing field in dating and romance. That is the only way men can have as much power as women in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:33 PM
21

Agree. The way I see it, being settled for is way worse than being pumped and dumped, in the sex zone, or strung along for sex. One wastes a few dates or a night, the other wastes years of your life. Being wanted for sex means at least they choose you for something, where being settled for usually means they're not particularly excited about anything about you. People may feel differently and that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:24 PM
20

Exaggerated, not exaggerated. Chad is a myth, Chad is real. Most women don't have casual sex, most do. Whatever, it's all a bunch of words. The reality is that if you're an average man casual sex is not usually available to you. If you're an attractive man casual sex is abundantly available. I say this from experiencing both sides of this. We can argue back and forth whether 25% or 75% of women have casual sex or if "normal" women just have relationships and a few flings here and there or whatev…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:14 PM
–

I've worked on techniques, positions, and stamina. I put a lot of emphasis on passionate foreplay. I'm good at psychologically stimulating a woman before and during a sexual encounter. I know lots of ways of making women have orgasms and they almost never fail. I give kind aftercare (especially if things get intense) to make sure she feels cared for and good about the experience. I am always fully present and savoring the moment with my lover. I mix things up and bring variety into the bedroom t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 11:06 PM
1

I know somebody like that: alcoholic, terrible student, gambling addict, potential drug addict, lazy, no money, not even that handsome. Also a pathological liar, we heard from 9 girlfriends he had. Women see the confidence, swagger, and "don't give a fuck" attitude and think it's hot, despite the self-destruction and sometimes harming others. Some women like the idea that he's a good project and that just a few tweaks and the love of a good woman is all it takes to make him an all around great g…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:48 PM
–

Almost every man has desires for both a variety of sexual experiences with many women and for a deeper, long-term relationship with a special woman. When men are very attractive and can get whatever they want they usually have a lot of casual sex and/or short-term relationships until sometime in their 30s and then try to settle down. I believe this would be the preference of most men, though obviously some prefer strictly monogamy or being a swinging bachelor for their entire lives. I got attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:27 PM
1

It's sad but I don't think there is one good place to go for advice. If a friend asks me for advice I suggest books that I got from RP sidebars. I don't recommend RP sites directly or Manosphere blogs because I don't want them to go down that rabbit hole. I also talk about other concepts that are useful from RP without referencing it directly. I just cite my own experience. This comment sums up some some advice and a reading list which I mostly got from Red Pill, but some from other sources http…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:50 PM
1

I vote for women's interests. I've donated to Planned Parenthood a few times. I've mentored women at work several times. They've said I've helped them get off to a good start and feel like they belong there. That felt good. ​ At the risk of making this not completely positive comment I'll add on that I share some frustration of other men here that my voice is not welcome in liberal/progressive/feminist circles, especially if I don't agree 100% with whatever the current orthodoxy is. This is desp…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:29 PM
1

It would not be a problem for me. It seems you are against abortion in general. I respect that. Hopefully you can respect other views as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:11 PM
2

A lot of reasons Poor self-esteem Lack of decisiveness Nice Guy syndrome They have some mistaken ideas that this is being respectful or equal or is what women want They might just plain be lazy and passive They may actually be willingly submissive
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 11:44 PM
2

Mostly from the past. These days it's a niche thing, primarily valued by the very religious or otherwise hardcore traditionalists. If people want to be that way I respect that, as long as they're consistent with their application of these principles. That is, they value virginity in men too. Personally I don't think sex makes anyone "dirty" or "spoiled" and would prefer that a woman have at least some experience. I'm older though, so few women my age would be virgins anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 11:59 PM
13

Hey, it's the guy who said that aunts should have relationships with guys and then set them up with their nieces... for some reason! It's even captured in his username.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 11:52 PM
5

I appreciate your positive attitude and I think you have a good way of looking at life. But I'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. I am very emotionally vulnerable with my friends and girlfriends. But when it comes to expressing weakness, specifically, I am very careful when doing this with women I'm romantically involved with. I'm more candid with my bros and my therapist. I can tell her about it later when I've resolved the issue. To me this is just being smart about not pushing her …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:00 PM
3

I am really curious what point you're trying to get at with this question. I think he's trying to figure out what the equivalent for men would be of women showing cleavage, wearing short shorts or skirts, wearing tight clothes, or other straightforward and socially acceptable ways that women have to (presumably) increase the sex appeal of their clothing choices, whether that is their conscious intention or not. There are just not many good examples. You can say dressing nicely attracts women, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 08:39 PM
10

I don't know how this addresses the problem of men being treated worse when they show weakness. Yes, you should get up again. Get back up off the mat. But sometimes showing your weakness is what got you put on your back or kicked in the balls (figuratively) in the first place. Having the strength to get back up does not mean you want to invite people to knock you down again.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 08:20 PM
–

This mostly sums it up https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1952va7/youre_not_forced_to_be_with_women_who_dont_want/khw54nq/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 08:03 PM
3

Yeah, I agree. I think "Purple Pill" is the ultimate answer but I try to be open minded to any nuanced opinion. I don't even think Blue Pillers on r/exredpill necessarily need to agree with me 100% to be useful. They just need to drop the attitude that all men's problems are self-inflicted by their own toxicity for one freaking minute when a guy comes crawling in for help. There is a lot of "sore winner" energy in there where they feel emboldened to celebrate the most extreme BP views.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 07:00 PM
5

I think I mostly agree, if I'm understanding this right. It is still valuable to recognize a distinction between being "nice", which means acting a certain way as a means to ingratiate yourself to others or receive something else in return, and being kind, meaning doing things to benefit others for the sake it and not to receive anything in return. I agree that neither "niceness" or kindness is particularly attractive by itself, but recognizing this distinction helped me recover from being a Nic…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 06:48 PM
3

Yeah, exactly. "I wish I had X", where X is a basic human need and desire, being read as entitlement. I don't know how to interpret this situation other than it's because he's a man and this commenter assumed uncontrollable negative motives for his actions based on that. My biggest issue is not that there is someone nutty enough to say it, it's that it was accepted without challenge or clarification by the sub. Clearly we're not the fully evolved utopian society we dream of and we still have iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 06:22 PM
–

lol a man getting the "You should smile more, sweetie!" line! You did it! Haha Sounds to me like she's into you. Seems like she had to build up some courage to say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 06:06 PM
–

I agree there is a certain type who is attractive. The super sweet fun guy. I think he usually has to be socially adept to go with his kindness. I think for most guys being basically kind but with an edge, or a little ambiguity, keeps women interested. Being "too kind" can appear Nice Guy-like, though I gotta say I'm impressed with many women's ability to detect genuine kindness vs. simping.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 06:00 PM
83

I was kind but not very attractive. Women were ok with being my friend but nothing more. Now I'm still kind but attractive. Women want to fuck me and/or be in a relationship with me. Women aren't repelled by my kindness. That wasn't my problem. I'm sure I'm not the only counterexample to your assertion. ​ Yes, kindness means almost nothing when it comes to initially attracting women. It does come into play fairly quickly after a relationship starts, usually even with a consistent casual one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 02:28 AM
22

I like it in theory. In practice /r/exredpill is not helpful, from what I've seen. Being "Purple Pill" I acknowledge the usefulness of some Red Pill ideas and agree that mainstream advice and conventional wisdom needs some revision, but I also believe RP goes too far on a lot of things and is overly negative about women. In that sub you have vulnerable guys in a confused position. Many of them are still lost, with no clue how to improve their romantic situation. They ask questions and, from what…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 02:14 AM
13

Yes, I would care and it would be a deal breaker if she did not respect a stated boundary about it. Wouldn't most women care about this and at least have some negative feelings about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:29 AM
–

def was a rant
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 12:34 AM
6

Fair enough. I think we just have different definitions of good romantic outcomes. For me, a woman who just wants a man's money is at best performing for him sexually, not acting on her true desire. If it makes a man happy to trade money for a hot woman to get naked with him and pretend to like him, then great! I'm not going to tell him he should do otherwise. I'm not interested in that. I could pay for it, but I want a woman to actually want sex with me, for the sake of it, and not as a means t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 02:12 AM
11

I did a major glow up. I lost weight, got fit, got my hair and grooming dialed in, increased my charisma, learned how to flirt and be sexual in a way women respond to, started dressing well, got cool hobbies, and increased my social status. I realistically went from around top 40% to the top 10%. Everything is easier. All women treat me completely differently, whether it's an explicitly romantic interaction or not. Listing the positives would take forever. The only negative is that sometimes wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 01:41 AM
3

I'm not sure I follow. Are you saying money alone can provide good romantic outcomes? If so, I disagree. What I understand from Red Pill is that providing money (by itself) is a Beta skill. If you just provide this and not sexually attractive qualities then you might end up as a Beta Bux, trying to negotiate attraction by buying it from her and never quite getting it. I don't necessarily agree with the entire Red Pill narrative and that it somehow always happens, but I believe the principles are…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 01:20 AM
17

There are a lot of techies on Reddit. 6 figures, yes. Chad, no (or not usually). They still often struggle with women and I see it as yet more evidence that money, by itself, does not provoke genuine sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 12:37 AM
1

Those women have a social safety net. Probably something to do with it, but also in Europe there is less and less of an expectation of marriage being the ultimate goal of a relationship, regardless of whether a couple wants children or not. ​ While it may not apply as much to Europe, the problems the US is facing will eventually spread. In what way? I don't think European countries are going to rescind abortion rights. That's a type of craziness that only happens in the US, as far as I know. Heh
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 10:54 PM
6

Can you summarize what happened? I don’t follow this stuff and I’m having trouble Googling this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 08:44 PM
1

Women tend to be more relationship-oriented than men, so it makes sense that a man would be more attractive if he is in a relationship, all else being equal. It confirms that he is willing to be in a relationship whereas otherwise this is unknown. Preselection certainly has also an effect on women's attraction toward men for casual sex. On the other hand, men's preference of body types has changed in my lifetime, so men's attraction is also influenced by the culture around him and opinions of ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:26 PM
1

I'm not weighing in on whether marriage is good or bad, but in Europe it is becoming much more common to have children without getting married. In many countries (including Sweden) it is more common to have children outside of marriage. https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/births-out-of-wedlock-europe-us/ This is all to say that women seem to be increasingly fine with it in Europe, or even prefer it. Much different than in the US (where I live).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:08 PM
1

My guess is that many of the women I date have very similar views to women on here, including ones who vehemently disagree. There is a tendency to assume someone is extreme or an absolutist or that conceding that something is not as conventional wisdom describes it is a slippery slope to conceding that all of Red Pill is 100% correct. In real life people actually accept nuance and don't assume the worst of people right off the bat. Not saying everybody on here does that, but it's certainly commo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 10:04 PM
1

My Red Pill opinions: As a whole the advice is better than Blue Pill advice Expressing unresolved sadness or weakness to women may not always result in rejection but it is extremely risky My Blue Pill options: Love exists (though it can be hard to find) Red Pill characterization of women is often overly negative and unhelpful Red Pill characterization of men is overly sympathetic, as if a man can do no wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 07:07 PM
10

I can see how it seems that way since they so fastidiously conceal it. I used to be a Nice Guy and I believed any display of sexuality that was not explicitly prompted or given permission ahead of time by women would be unwelcome and creepy. So I never let it show. Of course I was wrong, but I didn't know it at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 06:51 PM
4

Guy 1, without a doubt Guy 1 is the one she genuinely desires. She values him and not what he can give her. Guy 2 is just a means to obtain other things that she values - stability, support, and possibly children. She may have an appreciation for his good qualities, but no genuine desire for him. Of course, every woman who ultimately wants a relationship is looking for a man who she desires and can provide all of the relationship benefits, all in one. How many women find this ideal guy? I have n…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 09:37 PM
–

I never know what these kinds of posts are asking us. If it matters to you then fine, it matters to you. I hope you find someone who matches what you're looking for. If I'm reading this right you're not being a hypocrite about it. That would be my only complaint. It doesn't matter much at all to me. Hopefully you can accept that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 06:07 PM
1

I make no moral judgements about sex, like calling someone a "whore". I like sex and having sex with a variety of partners so I'm not about to judge anybody else for this. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship right now, but in my head certain women are excluded from any possibility of this. It mostly comes down to a personality that would not work for me and/or intellect that is not roughly on my level. Besides compatibility, I would need to feel like someone is capable of a long-term mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 06:23 PM
2

Pussies can feel surprisingly different but to me it doesn't affect my pleasure and the effect of the whole experience much. To me a good lover is one who is passionate, engaged, connected, and ideally adventurous. My orgasm is not a big part of it for me and it's not my goal. My goal is to have intimacy and a psychologically rich experience with another human. If it was just about dick stimulation I'm sure I could find some kind of device that would do it amazingly well. What I've gathered from…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 08:09 PM
2

Way easier being single, for me. I like only having to take care of myself on a daily basis. I like caring for others, but supporting someone else's emotions takes its toll on me after a while. I also like planning and taking women on nice dates, but entertaining someone every day gets tiring. Maybe some people are energized by this but for me it drains my batteries. Despite being outgoing, gregarious, and eager to help out a friend or girlfriend, I like to have some downtime so I can recharge a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:53 AM
–

I would probably break it off right then. If I was very interested AND they were proactive about keeping me informed and rescheduling the date then maybe I'd consider one more shot. I'd still be wary of them. They would be lower priority if I had a chance to line up another date who showed they respect my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 10:50 PM
33

Allowed by whom? Most places there are no laws against infidelity. If you want to be a liar there is nothing stopping you from cheating except your own morality or fear of consequences. If you don’t want to be a liar you can stay single, just have casual relationships, or have an open relationship. Nobody is stopping you from “spreading your seed”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 02:21 AM
5

A relationship should never truly be number one in anyone’s life. You can care about and love someone without setting yourself on fire to keep them warm. I don't disagree. If it helps you can read it as "#1 person" and "#2 person". That's what I meant. ​ I think men want to be loved unconditionally like a child which is why they’re jealous of that child and the fact that she can’t get rid of that child’s father in the same way that they can be thrown out in a heartbeat. Not sure what you're sayi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 01:15 AM
14

It doesn't solve the problem that he never gets to be #1. A childless woman can give that to him until they have children together. But yes, that's a way to go about it if the man wants his own children. If it's worth it for him he should go for it. By no means do I want to say that this is an insurmountable problem. A single mother may be some man's woman of his dreams and completely worth it. Maybe the man has a lot going on and can't be as available as a single woman would desire. There are p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 12:40 AM
31

The best argument I've heard is that a man will never, ever be #1 in her life, not for one minute of his relationship with her. If the man has children then they are equal in that they're each other's #2. A childless man would be treating her like #1 and getting #2 treatment in return. There is probably still a stigma, at least somewhat, which doesn't seem fair to me. But even if we eliminated this stigma from everyone's minds the above would still be the reality for childless men looking for a …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 12:01 AM
2

Everybody's experience is anecdotal. I welcome people with experience/success and those without. The real problem is there are so few people, of any experience level, truly willing to engage in good faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 10:08 PM
3

Most preferences are no problem. The only one that usually ruffles feathers is weight. In my experience, even in contexts where women are freely expressing their preferences like height, abs, and all manner of physical things it's still a risky thing to say you like thin or otherwise not fat women. Myself or other guys have been called shallow or not body positive, gotten the stink eye, or other negative reactions. I learned long ago to not touch this one. Some will be cool with it, but many wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 01:52 AM
1

Sure thing! For context I'm 6' with an ok face and a full head of hair. So I'm lucky to have decent raw material. The looks-related stuff: Went from 25%+ body fat to around 15% or below I think this is the most important thing for looks if you're not lean. Women hate pudge and this also makes your face more angular. Put on muscle in the gym I don't have a crazy bodybuilder look. I'm just on the muscular side of fit. Got a good haircut I stopped getting a terrible haircut every few months and sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 12:09 AM
1

Basically agree that Red Pill description of "dominance" is usually out of whack. When I was reading the stuff there were some thoughtful commenters who nailed it, but not most. A lot of it was just "I'm the Alpha and therefore I'm the fucking boss and I get whatever the fuck I want, just cuz." It's interesting that you mention BDSM and I agree with your assessment. I've gotten involved in some D/s relationships because I like being a good lover and so many women desired this dynamic to maximize…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 11:06 PM
2

Some boxing movies are close. Rocky and Cinderella Man. Maybe the latter more for me, though I've only seen it once, a while ago. In Cinderella Man you see a man who has passions and ambitions, but most of all is driven by a sense of honor and duty to do whatever he can to create a happy life with his wife. My fantasy is to have a woman who is devoted to me, faithful, who cares about my wellbeing above all else, is in love and sexual with me, wants me to achieve my dream but does not only love m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 10:12 PM
4

I used to be a complete nice guy in the sense that I was overly accommodating and timid. Women were on a pedestal and I deferred to them. I'm much better now. I've read some books like No More Mr. Nice Guy, Not Nice, and Models and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck both by Mark Manson. During and after reading these I started examining my behavior in various circumstances, especially with women. I really dug in and asked myself if I was being authentic. That is, was I doing or not doing someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 09:32 PM
18

Women don't say upfront "You're not as hot as I'm accustomed to, but I've decided that I'm willing to settle for you because I can't get commitment from better men. Want to give this a try?" ​ I just read your post again and your example is contrived in that she is overtly telling the guy what he is to her. She tells said dude she wants to have kids and quit doing all the nasty stuff she was doing with casual hookups and limit you to vanilla stuff only Turns out my exaggerated example was redund…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 11:49 PM
-1

Absolutely. It's a delicate dance at times, but the way I think about it is that almost all of the relationship is egalitarian but I should be ready to take the lead in any situation by default. If she wishes to step up and take the lead sometimes, then I step aside. At first I felt like I was throwing my weight around with this attitude but what I hear from women, again and again, is this that they feel cared for. People sometimes bristle at the terms "dominance" and "submission". These words f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 08:29 PM
–

People make these arguments to excuse women of almost anything because they can often get away with it. I'll explain. I'm not sure if we're in a transitional period or if this is the way it will be indefinitely. We're coming out of a fairly recent history where women didn't have much agency. By now there have been many incredibly successful movements to give women a lot of agency, almost as much as a man. Arguably as much in most contexts, but there is still some work to be done. Of course there…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:50 PM
12

Damn, this nails it. From a man's perspective I've come to understand the other side, the "dominance", as an extra burden that a man takes on. It's not bossing a woman around and getting your way because you say so. It's serving her by taking extra responsibility and is done out of love without expecting anything in return. Many times it's deciding to not get your way in order to care for her and look out for her interests. This often makes a woman want to give that kind of "submission" that men…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:25 PM
9

I'm quite... cautious with women at this point. I don't believe all women will cheat on me or drop me the second they find a slight perceived upgrade. But those things happen and have happened to me. Now I try to just live in the moment as much as possible and give love and affection for the sake of it, not for the expectation of getting it back or receiving enduring commitment. If I get it back, excellent. If I don't, I gave because I wanted to. No regrets. ...at least in theory. I'm not really…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 12:03 AM
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I can see that. I also think about safety/comfort a lot. Men are often only looking for evidence that this woman is hot. Women are usually looking for hot + safe at a minimum. So even if women are more "picky" about profiles it makes sense because they want some kind of signs that this is a person that they can trust. It's only rational. For that reason (and others) I make sure to put in little humanizing details and touches of humor. I also spent some time on Photofeeler and found that women us…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 05:27 PM
1

Ah ok. I agree with that. Authentically being who you want to be is not only a good way to live, it is very attractive. I believe this is a gendered expectation too, in the sense that women are very attuned to this and hold men to a high standard of authenticity. As a man, not being sure of what you want, not having opinions or convictions, not being unapologetically yourself, going with the flow, etc. risks losing a woman's attraction. Men don't want a completely dull pushover but tend not to l…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 04:05 AM
2

I don't think I disagree with anything you said. I don't think it's hopeless for a man to find a woman who doesn't prefer a traditionally masculine man, it's just much harder if you don't cater to mainstream expectations. I tried to phrase it in terms of maximizing options, which is what it is, and not strict requirements for all women. From what I've observed and experienced, in hetero relationships it is quite common for the man and woman both to say they are egalitarian in all things and proj…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 02:04 AM
2

Hmm. I see your points. I do agree that men have an ability to define themselves differently without so much rigid expectations in the past. What I had in mind was hetero relationship dynamics. While a man can choose to not embrace certain traditionally masculine traits, he will often do so at the expense of romantic options. He may be accepted openly by society, but women will keep on having their same preferences. So in this sense maybe we can force everyone to admit that men should not have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 01:28 AM
1

You seem to be proposing a mix of legal changes and changes in general attitude toward men. The legal changes may have a chance, because there are a lot of men who vote. The changes in attitude toward men I'm skeptical about. Culturally, among women and men, women are just seen as more sympathetic. Women did not always have equal rights in the workplace, but they were not conscripted and they were first in the lifeboats along with children. Usually these things are still the case. So while the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 12:59 AM
2

Heh true. Women can afford to be lazy. They'll still get tons of matches. I still think they should still fill out a good profile with personal details if they want a committed relationship and want to attract guys looking for the same. For something casual I don't think it matters at all, for women, as long as there are a few photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 12:35 AM
1

I have a FWB with BPD. I have always been 100% upfront with her about wanting to be casual. It's a sweet, caring relationship but one without expectations. She seems completely in control of herself and I've never experienced any negative effects from her condition. I gotta say, the sex is ridiculously hot. She has a high sex drive and it shows. I've heard this is common with BPD. But I know that the condition could be very hard to deal with if we decided to try for something more. I think I mig…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 10:49 PM
4

I don't know if you've seen many women's profiles if you think this way. They're usually low effort and many have lots of negativity about other men and men's profiles. Always astounded me how you have a couple hundred words to introduce yourself and you want to fill it up with complaining, including to men who are not to blame and you presumably want to attract. It's like complaining about your ex for the whole first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:47 PM
9

I want a woman who likes sex, not one who is just performing in the early stages of a relationship. A woman who has sought out sex is more likely to match what I want. I like sex and have had sex with many women. I don't see "promiscuity" as a negative because that would be hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:24 PM
1

Absolutely. One of the biggest takeaways from RP for me was "You cannot negotiate desire." I don't argue that someone should change their preferences. I do argue that we should all be adults and just acknowledge what women's preferences tend to be, not shying away from anything that might seem shallow or not purely virtuous. In other words, let's talk about women's preferences the same way we talk about men's. It's not exactly going to change the world if I change anyone's mind on PPD, but I do …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 08:24 PM
12

Heh. So many women tell me this is a highlight for them. I make sure to really let loose when I know a woman likes it. A woman having an intense orgasm is the hottest thing for me, much better than me having one, so I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 08:01 PM
3

Basically agree. If you're responding to some loud guys on here who say that surely all women hate older men dating younger women (with the heavy suggestion that only young women are attractive in order to try to bait people) then yeah, I wish they would shut up. Seriously boring and redundant content. That said, among "normal" people there still is a bit of a stigma around it. In your case you probably are old enough that almost nobody cares. Regardless, I agree you should do what you want. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:46 PM
8

These both look like examples of texting fails. The second would only be fine if the girl has decided she was already incredibly attracted to the guy. Even then it does nothing to build attraction, but sure, it keeps her in suspense if she's obsessed with him. Usually that's not the case. If you're coming from a starting point where she is somewhat interested in you then both of these will cause her to lose attraction. My rule with women is to always be giving value in every interaction. You nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:22 PM
2

I hear you. I don't disagree. Regardless, it's just what we have to deal with and I believe it's best to make peace with it the best we can. Maybe you think it's bad enough to give up on women. Not sure. But I don't. I assume that there are things that I, and men in general, subject women to that are unfair or double standards and it all kind of evens out in the end. Even it it doesn't, that's fine. Still worth it for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:30 PM
1

I think BP/mainstream advice assigns about the proper weight to social skills, which is to say it's very important. ​ a 5/10 very good social skills guy, will have more success then a 7/10 shyish normal social skills guy, i really believe that. Depends on how you look at it. The socially skillful 5/10 will do better with 5s than the shy 7 will do with 7s. But the 5 will never be considered by 7s because a woman's looks bar is a hard requirement. The shy 7 will also do very well if he goes after …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:24 PM
1

I agree. It's a reason I don't want to get married. But I still believe I can have a meaningful, worthwhile relationship with a wonderful woman. I'm not against people getting married, but I think a lot of others shouldn't either. Even if the vows don't explicitly say it, there is this cultural expectation of "til death do us part" and therefore a perception of failure if they don't make it that far.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:56 PM
4

I'll preface this by saying that I still believe a man can be vulnerable and share almost everything with a woman he is romantically involved with. He just cannot share anything that reflects weakness, specifically weakness that has not been overcome. This is usually (hopefully) a very small part of his emotional life. I don't think women on PPD would disagree that if a man has a lot of emotional issues he should seek to resolve them or get them under control before he seeks a romantic relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:30 PM
1

I don't disagree there is a double standard on this issue. Whether it's ok or not is irrelevant because it's the reality we have to deal with. I don't believe women are somehow typically worse across the board. This is a notable thing where they tend to be. The best I can do is tell myself that if I'm in a relationship with a good woman there will certainly be ways in which she acts better with me than I do with her. I believe this too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:19 PM
1

I'm working on a comment. There is so much to cover. 😅 It could easily be a book series. Trying to pare it down from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 09:45 PM
3

Should a man be vulnerable with a woman? Yes. Share as much as you can about what makes you happy, sad, passionate, excited, horny, etc. Tell her your hopes and dreams. Usually accentuate the positive but don't shy away from telling your story and how you got to where you are now, your past successes and struggles. Talking about things you struggled with in the past and how you overcame them can bring you closer and greatly increase her attraction to you. ​ Should a man put a burden of emotional…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 09:33 PM
4

Agree with all of that. Genetics will determine a ceiling of physical attractiveness and therefore limit the pool of potential women available to you, right off the bat. Your job is to make sure you're at your full potential with looks and maximize your possible options, whether you're tall/short, handsome/ugly, or whatever. ​ the one exception being building muscle (which most poeple can do). I believe being lean (and definitely not fat) is even more important, but muscles are important too for…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 06:16 PM
12

To me, Blue Pill is just the mainstream set of beliefs about how dating and romance function. Specifically for men it is the beliefs and advice about how to be successful with women. Most men and women I know subscribe to something like this. That's what mainstream means. For most of my life (I'm 40) the gap between these Blue Pill beliefs and the reality of romance for men has been vast. Over the last 10 years it has been narrowing as exchange of information on the internet has forced the aband…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 12:07 AM
1

I only see the abstract for the study, but I don't see anything about how long those relationships last or long-term satisfaction in those relationships. I see comments on PPD and elsewhere on reddit nearly every day from women who regretted settling for a guy who wasn't attractive to her. Those situations ended badly and probably in heartbreak for the guy. The goal for guys is to find someone who is truly thrilled to be with him, not to barely scrape by and get into an unhappy relationship with…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:18 PM
–

Mostly agree. But once the feelings are expressed and unreciprocated it's over, or at least it should be. It won't be the same again at that point. You can still be friendly but it will be hard to truly be friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:02 PM
1

I don't think it's over. I don't think talking to women in other venues is over either. Neither is online dating or any other way to meet women. It's just easier the more attractive and social adept you are and harder if you're not. It's not impossible for unattractive and awkward men, they just need to accept more rejection and negative reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:00 PM
1

This sounds like the baiting questions men post here almost every day that are basically “Hey women, would you tolerate a man who is a total piece of shit, like most women are?” but in reverse
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:47 PM
8

Damn, this is compassionate and this attitude takes thick skin and a lot of restraint. Sometimes I wonder why even Purple flaired women on here dig in and revert to Women are Wonderful/men suck rhetoric seemingly constantly on here. Then I scan through and and realize that there is a higher quantity of woman hate on here than man hate on an average day. I just instinctively skip over the misogynistic posts and comments because you can tell right from the first sentence where it's going. If someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:14 PM
1

Many women can be compassionate about men's struggles with dating and romance... if their guard is down and they don't feel attacked in that moment I've even seen one example of a woman who surprised me in this thread Most people's idea of Red Pill is not what it means to me Most people, RP guys, women, and BP guys, seem to think it's YouTube blowhard charlatans and not the lists of advice and books that I consumed I've deepened my understanding of what women face in dating and romance Things li…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 09:56 PM
16

"[Disadvantage] in men is a disadvantage, not a death sentence" could be applied to almost everything. Being short, having a weird face, being bald, etc. We should be compassionate, especially toward men who have a lot of disadvantages. We should even let them blow off steam and get a bit angry sometimes. We should also discourage defeatism/incel thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 09:27 PM
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You could be right, you could be wrong. It could be jealousy. She could have wanted to be bailed out. Who knows? I don't. Neither do you, really. Something valuable I picked up from Red Pill is outcome independence and staying out of other people's heads. It relaxed me a lot to not need to have an explanation for everything that happens. Sometimes it didn't work out for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Sometimes it does work out for reasons that also have nothing to do with you. Sometim…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 09:21 PM
8

Regarding a man's looks, it's often not the largest component in a woman's attraction toward him, but meeting her looks threshold is the most common hard requirement among women. Most men who are disqualified will be because of this. Depending on how you look at it, it's paradoxically either relatively unimportant or the most important thing. Put another way, among the group that meets or exceeds her looks threshold, other things are often more important, like status or social skill. Among the g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:30 PM
1

Sorry about busting in on a question for women, but in my experience cologne is risky. It's a niche preference and overdoing it is too easy. I scrub myself super clean as close to a date as possible and wear normal, boring deodorant. I've gotten so many compliments on how I smell. Women like clean. Women hate stinky. Don't overthink it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:19 PM
3

There are women who are passionate and positively wild sexually but even-keeled and in control of themselves and their lives outside of the bedroom. I've dated many like this and am dating one right now. A woman who is passionate but whose whole life is chaos, which she inflicts on everyone around her? For casual fun only, if that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:09 PM
2

I try to keep this in mind when reading PPD. People tend to defend the tribe online and it's the rare person that can resist this urge. After a while on PPD it strains credulity that most women on here are unassailably virtuous, graciously tolerant of male flaws, fastidiously honest in all things, patiently supportive of their SO's weaknesses, attentive to a fault to their partner's needs, equanimous even in the face of any and all male tirades and meltdowns, have perfectly calibrated standards,…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 07:44 PM
28

Basically, yes. Focusing just on the part about women's pleasure, guys not caring is part of the problem, for sure. But more men are satisfied by sex because men are just plain easy to please. Men can get off regardless of whether the woman puts any effort into pleasing him. Women usually cannot. Man doesn't care about a woman's pleasure -> woman doesn't get off (usually) Woman doesn't care about a man's pleasure -> man still gets off Even if every man put a lot of effort into pleasing a woman, …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:57 PM
8

Damn, sorry 😞
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:05 PM
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Ah ok, if your point is that people try to monetize this concept then I agree. There are plenty of "Buy my course/book for $49.99 and you'll be 'Alpha'" type scams out there. But people being assigned a value in the dating market is real. We cannot quantify this exactly because that would require every person ranking every other person and someone tallying up the results. But even without doing that, we know that some people have more options than others and have more options among people of "hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 08:48 PM
3

I live in US, been to lots of places in Europe, Latin America, and Asia. I haven't been anywhere where women approaching is common. I don't think it has a stigma in most of these places - that strikes me as merely an excuse for not doing it. Nobody likes being rejected, so it's understandable. Women will sometimes "approach" by asking a question, putting themselves conspicuously in front of you, or making eyes at you. Even then you need to be the one to open yourself up to rejection by initiatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:25 PM
1

Basically agree. Side note: this is the second time in a week when I've seen 19 year olds held up as some ideal of beauty. I'm not into this "barely legal" fetish thing. Maybe the guys posting this are around that age and that's fine, but otherwise this is skeevy to me. Granted I'm 40, but 19 year olds have looked like kids to me since my mid 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:12 PM
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I am not trying to argue whether these people are more valuable to society or deserve to be paid more. I don't know if there is an answer. If there is I certainly don't know it. I am only pointing out that, right or wrong, we do value people differently in different contexts. This is arguably dehumanizing (which might be your point?) but I don't believe it will change.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:05 PM
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The job market assigns humans a value in dollars (or other local currency). This does not have anything to do with how the person values themself, how their family or friends value them, or how worthy they are of living and seeking happiness. We value humans differently in different contexts all the time. Dating/romance is just another one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 06:21 PM
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I don't know about inherently, but in practice the resentment often comes out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 02:17 AM
10

Women participate in a relationship that is agreed upon to be casual and call me up for booty calls just to fake their lust for me?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 02:15 AM
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I think what I call Red Pill and what others do are very different things. Red Pill to me is a set of immediately actionable advice, preferably with a minimum of women bashing for the sake of it. For me the quintessential resources are sidebars on subreddits that mostly point to books that, by themselves, are not negative toward women. Red Pill to many others is YouTube channels and podcasts whose sole theme is "wahmen suck lol". The latter is useless and should be abandoned. It may also be more…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 08:58 PM
7

I've had plenty of FWBs that go absolutely feral for sex. If some women aren't capable of this, fine. Sex doesn't have to be a huge desire or need for everyone. But there are so many women who are capable of visceral lust. I don't believe I'm just spectacularly lucky in finding them again and again.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 08:53 PM
2

Women tend to be shrewd with selecting from their potential options, but when they pick one and fall for him, they fall hard. I don't think women get "oneitis" though, because they are not punished for extreme devotion (unless there is obsessive, overly jealous, or overly clingy behavior), so it's not negative. Men like this treatment. Men get "oneitis" because women only like an extremely devoted partner in the short term but soon get bored and contemptuous of it. Anecdotally, it's happened to …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 08:26 PM
10

My guesses are that most women have elevated libido with the emotions of getting engaged and married. It's not usually just acting or feigning passion. Once that's gone, if the woman does not have a high libido she'll often lose interest unless the man is doing something to constantly stimulate her libido. Failing that, there is a libido mismatch and a bad situation. Not getting married gives a woman an incentive to please her partner and a stimulating uncertainty around the relationship that ke…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 12:02 AM
3

I get what you're saying and if you have religious motivations then do what's right for you. But I believe a legal contract is in no way divine. It's the most worldly you can get. It's the vows before god and your community of believers that has a divine quality, if you believe in that. In my opinion marriage should be only a religious or otherwise solely personal commitment and the government should not be involved to impose legal rules around a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 11:56 PM
31

I'm not "anti-marriage" but I still would not want to get married, personally. I think marriage is a good situation for raising children (maybe not the only one, but it is a good one), so it's great if people who want children do it. I don't want children. So I would have to get married for other reasons. To me a relationship should keep functioning because people keep choosing to be in it and put in effort to sustain it. Signing a contract subverts this. I've heard too many male friends complai…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 08:38 PM
4

There are pretty good insights here about how men who need good advice the most are the least receptive to it. I've pondered many times why I have never gotten good advice from women on romance, in person. The answer I keep coming back to is: people are punished for giving good advice. I switch to the word "people" here because almost nobody is getting good advice in person. A fat man or woman should lose weight to increase their romantic options, but it takes a bold person to tell them this. (B…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 09:39 PM
4

My answer is similar to the answer a lot of women would give: authenticity matters. This woman in the video acts like having tattoos and a nose ring makes her the most subversive badass ever, while these things are absolutely pedestrian, boring even. If you're doing these things as a big fake performance then they're a huge turnoff. But otherwise I love badass things about women. I've dated musicians, business owners, and very successful businesswomen and they've all been plusses. I like somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 08:43 PM
2

Yeah, I eventually just said I can't control others and I can't completely understand them either. Even if there is an answer for what they do that makes complete sense they're usually not going to tell me. I just had to decide who I want to be. I want to be kind, generous, and what I believe to be fair to others. Sometimes I get it back, sometimes I don't. I've learned to enjoy it when I'm treated well and shrug it off when I'm not (usually, it's still hard sometimes). What is most important is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 08:58 PM
1

I see all these comments saying the penis size issue is an imaginary problem created by men and inflicted on themselves and other men. Haven't we learned better from discussing the height issue to death? So many women have height preferences. So many also have penis size preferences. Nobody should be shamed for having a preference, but men still have to deal with the consequences of either being in the preferred or not preferred group. There are good ways and bad ways for men to deal with it, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 08:49 PM
1

If she said she just wanted to be friends instead of ghosting it usually would only be a polite rejection, though there would be a possibility that she genuinely wanted to be friends. Given that she didn't think of you or have the common decency to reply to you for 6 months and you only were back on her radar because Instagram popped up a suggestion, she's almost certainly just trying to get another follower on IG or an orbiter.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 08:20 PM
1

It's unquestionably a positive in terms of character. Fitness and keeping close to an ideal weight is important to me, so we may have a shared interest. I have a preference for thinner women so she will also just plain look and feel better to me. I don't care about stretch marks at all. Loose skin I don't love, to be honest. I don't mind some. I've been with some mothers and I don't care about some extra skin on the stomach. A bit more is a light turnoff but usually not a dealbreaker. It's way b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 07:53 PM
2

Men may “go after” the hotter women, as you say, but they generally can’t pull anyone out of their league. They realize their level right away and never develop this higher expectation. A 6 man going after 8s is shot down every time and he realizes he’s a 6. Later he meets a 6 woman and thinks this is great. He’s got someone on his level. Women have casual relationships with hotter men all the time. A 6 woman with an 8, for example. She will be accustomed to being with 8s and view herself as an …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 07:43 PM
2

Apparently I can't make a top-level comment as Purple Pill even though other non-RP guys are. 🤷‍♂️ Recommenting here. I found Red Pill after Googling things like “Why did my girlfriend cheat on me?” and “Why did my girlfriend not want to have sex with me?” and “Why are so few women attracted to me?” I found all the familiar platitudes first. Then later I found RP. It was… very strange to me at first but it addressed the incongruities with reality of all the advice I had received in my life up to…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:41 PM
8

30s is young. I was a late bloomer and started my all out fun, experimentation phase in my late 30s. Maybe I could have had more, but I've had enough fun (and girlfriends and, yes, sex) to look back and say, yeah, I've had a full life in that respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:42 PM
1

People can and should have a healthy self esteem and believe they have inherent value, irrespective of what others think. I believe this can be achieved and is worth striving for. Occasionally someone's upbringing will give this to someone for life. The rest of us have to work very hard for it. That said, most do not have strong self esteem that does not require positive feedback from others to prop it up. Take away someone's success or good looks and you will often see they have no real self es…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:35 PM
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People are calling this a FWB situation and I don't see anything to indicate that was the arrangement. I've had plenty of FWB and of course there is an expectation of care, spending time, talking, and, well, friendship. I've also had women tell me upfront that they strictly want sex. I would call this maybe "fuck buddies" or just hookups arrangement or maybe no label at all. I wouldn't call it friends with benefits, because she did not agree to a proper friendship. With one of the "strictly sex"…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:10 PM
1

I can only describe my personal experience from both sides of this. The executive summary is I mostly disagree, but not completely. ​ I've never identified as an incel, but before I had a few relationships and never had casual sex. I only got into the relationships as a second, third, or tenth pick that just hung around until she exhausted her other options. Usually I was dumped or cheated on. I felt like I had no control whatsoever of my romantic life. I vacillated between "What the fuck is wro…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:28 AM
4

There's an epidemic of lonely men , but some how the other half of women who are not in relationships or have children are reported to be the happiest demographic. To put it bluntly, the average woman does not feel the need for sex anywhere near as acutely as the average man. If you introduced 20x the testosterone into these content women, to bring them to around the level of the average man, most of them will find themselves preoccupied with getting sex and they will no longer be content being …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:50 AM
5

It's a simple solution for part of the problem, but not for the whole problem. I suspect that isolation in general is at least part of the despair that many men feel. Friends and/or closer bonds with family can definitely help this. But humans crave acceptance for their whole selves, not just the emotional parts that friends can accept. We also want someone who will accept us physically and sexually. Friends alone cannot satisfy this. There is this suggestion on here a lot that just getting more…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 09:47 PM
1

To most women, a "real man" or an attractive man is one who ignores all the pressure telling him that he should cater to women, from society and even from the woman herself, and does only what he wants to do. This alone sets a man apart and gives him authenticity. Not many men are willing to buck the system. The very most attractive man is one who chooses to respect and be kind to women he is involved with because it is what he wants to do, not because he is manipulated into it or because he exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 09:08 PM
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Some of your points make some sense to me, others not so much. Either way, for your own happiness I would suggest not treating every interaction with a woman as some kind of skirmish in the Battle of the Sexes. Assuming that women in general are manipulative and therefore an individual woman must be, or that she is some kind of foot soldier for feminism and you can't "let her win" sounds like a recipe for misery. I always have in mind that women have some bad tendencies, same as men, but I allow…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:01 PM
1

When a woman says that, she’s not speaking for all women. In my experience, most women are open to something casual under the right circumstances, but that doesn’t mean that all are. Yeah, if someone is sharing their experience then fine. I was reacting to things I've seen on here saying things like "most women" don't like casual sex, explicitly claiming to speak for all women (or at least most, I suppose). But sometimes these are responding to equally silly comments from guys broadly accusing w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 06:41 PM
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You basically nailed it. I think this is as good of a way to model it in your head as anything else. To expand a bit, the comfort + sexualizing parts go hand in hand. This may be unintuitive, but IMO it's important. Sexualizing the relationship is 100% indispensable if you don't want to end up rejected with "Let's just be friends", as you mentioned. But women want to observe you doing this within the bounds of established social norms. This governs how soon you say certain things, how soon you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 04:41 AM
20

I've seen many women like this in the past couple of years - women who are "officially" looking for something serious but they want to get their needs met in the meantime. I'm upfront that I'm looking for something casual. Most of the women want something of a FWB situation rather than just hookups and fuck buddies. I'm very kind, friendly, I like people, and I know how to take a woman on a fun date so I often fit the bill. After there is some trust and connection we might have some booty calls …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 12:42 AM
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There are some biological realities to contend with in running out of time to procreate. Beyond that I think The Wall is just revenge fantasy that incels and other frustrated men fixate on to try to convince themselves it all evens out in the end. Side note: seems like everybody here, women included, have consumed way more Red Pill content than I ever did. I haven’t even heard of 3/4 of the guys cited.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:45 AM
1

"You should choose/vet better" is one of the most common lazy rhetorical tropes invoked to redirect attention from bad behavior. You'll see this lobbed back and forth by Red and Blue when actual arguments are exhausted. In the real world a woman will have a lot of sympathy in all of these situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 09:54 PM
1

Women just want to see social adeptness, calibrated to the cultural context that you are in. If that means being bold and blunt, then she wants to see that. If that means being less blunt and using wit to suggest the same thing indirectly, then she wants to see that. Also what is adept and acceptable changes depending on the context established between two people, so there are not hard rules of what is good and bad to say at all times, even within the same culture. For example, saying "I want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 08:59 PM
1

I don't necessarily think it's about the quantity of attention, though there will be an upper bound for how much attention a high-value man can give a woman. A man who is very attractive to a woman will usually have some combination of high status, high achievement, popularity, and interesting hobbies/interests. These will place demands on the man's time. A woman will perceive a certain level of scarcity of the man's time with her and will always be left wanting more. I'd argue this is more beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 08:22 PM
1

Good looks are a huge advantage to everybody, women and men. It gives privileges in nearly every area of life. Of course women don't want to lose any of that privilege. That's why they fight aging as long as they can. Men do it too, with testosterone therapy and hair dyes. Red Pill, which is not mainstream anyway, is not needed to explain any of this. It happened before RP and will happen after. ​ For what it's worth, I don't believe in the wall, or at least I think it's overblown. Women have an…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 03:00 AM
0

...and clearly who many, many more men consider absolute perfection. I'm glad men have such varied taste.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 10:22 PM
1

Absolutely looks are used as a heuristic to evaluate the status of a person. Physical characteristics but also how they dress and groom. I believe this mental shortcut of good looks = status colors all interactions, including with people you're intimately familiar with, though it is most powerful for strangers or people you just met due to lack of any other information.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 09:32 PM
1

IMO both the 15-20% and 20-25% woman have fantastic bodies. There is a bit of a caveat that I recognize that the 15% could be unhealthy for some women and I'd rather a woman not starve herself to get down to that weight if it's not natural for her body. I want someone physically and mentally healthy. But if she's naturally that skinny then I'd have to admit I'm attracted to that body type. 25%+ is just not my preference, though there are some exceptions depending on how a particular woman carrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 09:25 PM
2

There's no good, universal answer. For me I have a bit of a rule of thumb but it's not really about the number. To continue seeing a woman I want to know 2 things: She is genuinely attracted to me She is genuinely interested in sex at approximately the same level that I am It's fine if a woman wants to wait a while to avoid being pumped and dumped. It's fine if it's longer than X dates. But I need to be getting some kind of signals that she is interested in sex and specifically interested in sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 01:48 AM
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Astrology is a bad example. Pseudoscience can be harmful. Pop music not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:25 PM
2

Women give effusive praise and adoration only to men who do not need it - those who already have confidence and self-esteem. Women do not want to prop a man up with validation. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing as a man needs to stand on his own to be successful and attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:24 PM
2

Everybody who is not asexual "expects" sex at some point in a romantic relationship. It's just a matter of what timeline they have in their head.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 05:51 PM
3

What a great, balanced comment. Some ideas have been bouncing around in my head along these lines but this puts it very succinctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:54 AM
1

Started reading for the sex tip. Finished reading for the practical domestic advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 10:18 PM
1

I'm honestly thrilled that you liked this list and that it could help your boyfriend! I feel like I sometimes post dumb things on here and regret them later. It's nice to actually post something helpful. Haha Yes, absolutely he should start with No More Mr. Nice Guy. I definitely was lacking backbone for a lot of my life and this book helped me a lot. The book also talks a lot about how fathers' bad examples can be a factor in creating Nice Guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 09:05 PM
2

I finally started a draft with a books list. I posted one before but now I can't find it. Here are some of my favorites. ​ No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover The seminal work on how to avoid being the dreaded Nice Guy. So many men think they need to be overly agreeable, indirect, and passive to gain women's favor. Obviously this is the opposite of what women want. With a tough love approach, Glover points out how men are getting so many of these things wrong and need to be intentional, direct…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:18 PM
1

I don't disagree with any of that. Of course we're not talking about going out with friends. We're talking about dates with the ostensible possibility of romantic connection. And yes, if it doesn't work out, fine. The only thing we're talking about is someone knowing ahead of time that there is no (or possibly only the slimmest) chance of there being any romantic interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 02:12 AM
4

My gut tells me this should almost never happen. Going on a date with someone you don't find attractive isn't fun and I would assume it wouldn't be worth it for women just for a free meal. This is before even getting into the ethics of fleecing hapless, unattractive men. But then I did a search, with the intention of finding some evidence to disprove that this happens, to guys on here who say it happens all the time. ...and it turns out I was wrong. According to the study referenced here it does…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:21 AM
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I understand the preference too. My only beef is with the posturing to pretend it's not shallow and/or insecure as well as favoring sexual dimorphism and traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity. Which is all fine. Almost all initial attraction is shallow. Preferring traditionally masculine characteristics is fine. Just own it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 11:09 PM
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Hmm, true. Average weight and income would tend to be higher for 50 year olds than for the average PPDer's age (I think).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 10:41 PM
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I always vaguely assumed that "average" means "average for people around your same age and in your area". I'm not sure what else to use. Using the expanded form seems cumbersome and unnecessary. But maybe people don't think like I do. Clearly at least one person doesn't! Ha
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 10:35 PM
9

I believe it's more likely to be harmful than helpful. On its face it encourages complacency. All the good parts must be extrapolated and are better stated separately and explicitly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 07:51 PM
2

Looks about right to me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 06:47 PM
3

I don't think I disagree. I think there is some shady advice for manipulation to be found in RP. I don't do those things. The things I took away were all about being more authentic. I used to try to manipulate as a timid, passive man. Now I'm upfront and direct. I express what I'm about and what I want and women can take or leave it. Obviously women like this a lot more. Maybe you also are thinking about having toxic ideas about women due to ingesting RP stuff. The kind of thing that would preve…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 03:26 AM
4

I intentionally put the employment last on my list in order to deemphasize it but wondered if someone would seize on it anyway. I should have just left it off. If it helps you can ignore it because the other items are more important. ​ But now that we're talking about this, I disagree with a lot of guys on here that money (by itself) inspires genuine attraction. Money offers potential for acquiring attractive hobbies, skills, or access to certain social circles through spending it wisely but doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:36 AM
9

Maybe, but I always focused on the RP advice and figured it applies to whatever I want to do and not someone else's ideas of what I should do. There are a lot of RP guys that say "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" and I disagree with that. So to an extent I agree with you. The skills and attributes for attracting a woman for an LTR and then maintaining her interest or merely trying to "get bitches" have a lot of overlap. You can do whatever you want with this potential, once you have it. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:23 AM
5

Being socially in demand. Having a large circle of friends/acquaintances/allies/contacts. Commanding respect in any context. Demonstrating leadership qualities. Having high status hobbies or abilities like being good at sports, expertise with playing an instrument or singing, traveling, or speaking multiple languages. Having a respected and/or high-earning profession. Besides that the obvious things like being famous or even just well-known, within a community or more broadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:14 AM
7

I don't worry too much about being good at sex, since I've put a lot of effort into being a great lover and I can please most women in bed. If there is someone better that's fine. ​ Do you also worry that you’re not going to love your partner like the last guy did? Do you worry about being the best boyfriend to her as a whole? Do you have the same worry that she might be as emotionally unfulfilled as you might be assuming she is physically? Not really. I'm very caring. I listen, empathize, and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:45 AM
2

As far as I can tell, this study has nothing to do with what you're trying to state. It's about how people feel about their own bodies. Nothing is said about how men feel about women. So I guess you're just going by your own anecdotal experience. Sorry people have brought up your looks to try to tear you down. I don't know if you're young and in school or on the internet with a bunch of anonymous morons or what. As for me, I never say anything negative about someone's appearance. I'm not in juni…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:33 AM
2

Excellent answer. After reading this question I was thinking about what women expect from me, in my experience, and this puts all the thoughts into focus.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:17 PM
1

I think a campaign or general societal movement to recognize some kind of value in men/masculinity that is not attractiveness would be valuable and build self image for average men. Anything else. Trying to tell men they are all handsome is both not believable and puts even more emphasis on attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:13 PM
1

My only quibble is that I think dude 2 will top out at mostly 6s and the occasional 7 (being a 6 himself) whereas dude 3 (boring-ish 8) will attract shallow 8s and the occasional 9. Looks are usually a hard criteria for most women with only a bit of wiggle room. I think I'd choose to be dude 2 in the long run, but dude 3 would have the most casual sex options. Anecdotally, I experienced being a fairly charismatic 6 in college and watched my comparatively dull 8 friend clean up with women. He was…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 07:40 PM
6

And what would happen if I made a post expressing my envy of men’s freedom to pursue sex for the sole sake of sexual gratification instead of procreation? How many men would dogpile and torpedo a woman who expressed frustration and jealousy of men’s ability to enjoy multiple partners without any risk to their reputation, or enjoy sexual satisfaction in one-night stands? Do you believe that men would express kindness of empathy? I would support you expressing that. ✋ Probably at least weekly I sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 09:15 PM
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