~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 0 | A lot of guys think they should be adored simply because they are not abusers, then wonder why women (and men) dont like them.It's not transactional, it's more like juridical. Men don't think they're owed "adoration" for not being abusive or manipulative and for contributing positively to society. But men do think they're owed not being summarily excluded and alienated from society. This can be hard for women to understand because they're granted this by default. So much of a man's human experience is gatekept behind receiving positive female attention. Sex and romance obviously. Fatherhood too. Even an "Uncle" type ro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 09:21 AM |
| – | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Ok then bud please enlighten me. I dunno about “overarching law”, but I do think natural selection has a pretty big role in how nature works. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/26 04:17 PM |
| 10 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Male and female exist in nature, in large part to super-charge natural selection. You’re just noticing that play out in human society. If you’re a man, and you want to have more sex with more women, become more healthy and more successful | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/26 11:07 AM |
| 2 | Why doesn't the red pill push for expanded views of attractiveness?I’m not really the archetypal redpill, but when I started to read about it and give it a chance my life radically improved. I think there’s a problem in dating, likely caused in large part by porn, of guys who aren’t their type’s type. They like inked girls but they’d never be caught dead getting a tattoo themselves. They like athletic/gym girls but they don’t work out or play sports. They like “trad” girls but they don’t have a job. In my opinion it’s absolutely worth it to fix this “type’s typ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: Would you truly spend a year or more with a woman with zero intention of being serious/ married? And let her think otherwise?I don't think many men introduce girls to their families if they have COMPLETE CERTAINTY it will never get serious / marry her. But this is the one place men have power in dating, and not thru any kind of cynicism but just because it's the reality of being a man, he'll take the decision pretty seriously and entertain both/all options for as long as they're open to him. Whatever the guy said, there likely was a path for this girl to end up married to him, but it just didn't happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/26 05:35 AM |
| 1 | The Red Pill Will Never Have Good Prescriptions Because Its Historical Claims About Gender Are Wrong.It’s not a discovery to you, precisely because your old enough to remember the 70s | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:28 PM |
| 2 | The Red Pill Will Never Have Good Prescriptions Because Its Historical Claims About Gender Are Wrong.I don’t think you know what the red pill is. It’s not about how much foraging Neolithic women did. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:24 PM |
| 2 | Unsuccessful men on the dating regard should just accept it and continue with their livesThis is like some weird evangelism. Why do you think your very rare situation is a model for anyone else to follow? Imagine if your sexuality was thousands of times more common than it is, and on top of that it was the biological imperative of almost all complex lifeforms in the animal kingdom. Giving advice like this would just be like straight people telling gay people "just be straight bro". "It's an abomination bro, just accept it". Why do LGBTQIA+ (in this case "A") people think they can ev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 08:43 PM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?It takes some effort, but I really don't think it takes much attractiveness. I'm hideously ugly, including a grotesque birth defect, and as soon as I got in the right place mentally, I had girls giving me a chance. The "go peoplewatch at the mall" test shows the same thing; there's a lot of really unattractive guys with partners. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Guess what bud. 99.99% of men are attractive enough to have sex regularly. It's just that not all of them are attractive enough to have sex regularly with no commitment, with women in the top percentiles of conventional attractiveness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketChanging yourself in a big way sure. But let’s not lose sight of what we’re actually talking about here which is not using weird fuckboy/fetish terminology. It’s melodramatic to say that’s just who I am and I won’t change for anybody. Or a more typical example of “not your type’s type” would be like a nerd who’s “type” is inked-up metalhead girls. If he’s going to be successful dating he needs to get tatted himself, and start listening to more music, or he needs to change/expand who he’s attract… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketThe other word for becoming something you’re not is Self Growth | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 04:43 PM |
| 3 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketnah, he should change himself. Either become his type's type. Or change his type and be that type's type. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:55 PM |
| 0 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Two things: #1 Issac Newton famously died a virgin but that’s about as far as the “great thinkers are celibate” idea goes. Richard Feynman was famously horny. Turing was horny (and also gay). Maxwell and most of the great thinkers of the Victorian Era were rich and married. #2 I spent almost 2 decades as an ugly undesirable adult virgin with a high libido. Then I made a few modest improvements to myself, and I met the right girl, and now I have sex with her, my gorgeous girlfriend, almost every … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 08:58 PM |
| 19 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketI used hinge, bumble, and tinder every day for 6 months as an ugly overweight guy with a grotesque birth defect. I got 4 dates from it, including the 4th who has now been my girlfriend for the last 2 years. I think the problem with this guy and so many other guys is not being your type’s type. Everyone is focusing on the word “playtime” and I think that’s part of it. There’s a type of girl who might respond favourably to that word; but the guy using it is not their type; not any of their type. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 07:57 PM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Because Libido makes you feel alive. If it’s insanely high sure lowering it makes sense. But it sounds like you’re suggesting something akin to chemical castration. To a lot of guys that’s a fate worse than death. You clearly just don’t understand male libido. Maybe sometimes men describe it like a prison, but only people dangerously depressed actually want to be free of it. People react negatively to your idea/suggestion because they think you’re implying they are - or should be - that dangerou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 05:32 AM |
| 1 | Passport bros is the only real solution for average and below average men. And men and women should agree with itActual romantic interest ALMOST ALWAYS springs forth from having the same social position in the same community. If its not the community at large, then it's some micro-community formed around some shared interest. I'm openminded to your comment though, because I'm sort of fumbling my way thru how I feel about this. The gaming analogue was not something I've thought in depth about, and you're right an entrenched meta or ladder is not even enjoyable even in actual gaming. I think we're right over… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 09:28 PM |
| 7 | Passport bros is the only real solution for average and below average men. And men and women should agree with itI think you should do whatever makes you happy. But personally, as a white westerner, I just think "mid" white girls are way more attractive than most "beautiful" foreign women, and I also think dating someone from my own culture is way more fun, and also that it carries the majority of the "validation" a relationship provides. It's sort of like in a sports/gaming analogue; you're playing in the "Gold League". Would you rather chase/savour occasional wins in Gold, or go down to Silver and win mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:29 PM |
| 22 | Passport bros is the only real solution for average and below average men. And men and women should agree with itIts (slightly) unethical because it just passes the buck to the "average" guys in passportbro locations who now have to become incels instead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:10 PM |
| – | non western women are better than western onesIt’s true in the west too. It’s just on dating apps that that people act crazy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 04:05 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?I don't really understand what your question is fishing for, because it's definitely fishing for something. Are you trying to compare loyalty/monogamy to total amount of sex? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 09:33 PM |
| – | Being coddled as boys has done the most damage to men’s social lives.This is like fundamentalist Islam, but for misandrists instead misogynists. Lilith isn’t concerned with boys as people, with their own feelings and life to live; she’s focused on how to produce the most convenient adults. It’s true that if you raised boys without any tenderness, like Ancient Greek Spartans or some shit, you would produce a lot of highly dateable and employable men. The same way some religious extremism (Islam, polygamist Mormonism, etc) produces highly marriage-ready girls with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 02:39 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.I think 1 hour per day or 7 hours per week is above average. But not by very much. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:37 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.This is the first thing I’ve seen Lilith post that I broadly agree with. Porn has a huge influence on dating/sex that’s like an iceberg 90% below the surface due to how it’s somewhat taboo to talk about. Something I always think about is how if someone watched the Simpsons for an hour a day every day from age ~14 to whatever age they are now, that person would be a “Simpsons Guy”. If they watched western movies they’d be a “Western/Cowboy guy”, etc. But that’s how much a lot of guys watch porn. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 03:56 PM |
| 1 | What do you have to offer?I dunno why it has to be taboo to or crude to just say women bring (among other things) sex and affection and companionship. Those things are extremely valuable. A woman who lives within her means and is fun to spend time with, affectionate and enjoys sex ...thats not a bum. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 01:18 AM |
| 2 | The red pill philosophy loses to a vibrator because a vibrator wont try to take your rights away.It sounds like you think red pill ideology caused or worsen male loneliness? I think you’re radically underestimating how many blue pill men are lonely. The lonely red pillers are doing a kind of “squeaky wheel gets the grease” thing where they’re being noticed and associated with loneliness because they’re vocalizing it. But there’s an absolute metric ton of lonely sexless blue pilled men. Plus a further set of blue pilled men who are having sex but who are still intensely lonely due to the cir… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/26 12:54 AM |
| -1 | “Pair bonding™️” feels like a self-serving male fantasy about how men wished women attached to menBut at the same time, everyone knows that the stereotype of a "clingy" or attention-needing girlfriend is based on very real behaviour. Having these needs met (among others) is the female fantasy side of Pair-Bonding. In a healthy relationship, nobody is going to turn down sex without a good reason, and nobody is going to ignore the other's calls/texts without a good reason. The couple is going to settle into routines where someone lifts heavy things and/or reaches high places, and someone handl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 12:36 AM |
| 1 | How should a female navigate a situation where the man is smaller than averageTell him you're a size queen. 5 inches is very close to average. Considering how much people lie about length, an honest 5" might be a lot bigger than you're thinking it is. But it doesnt matter. Ghosting or suggesting emasculating toys is not kinder. Just tell him the truth. Unless he's cripplingly insecure, he'll know its you not him who is the outlier. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 06:00 PM |
| – | The logic on bathroom laws targeting trans peopleI'm a engineer for designing plumbing and mechanical systems for commercial and institutional buildings. I feel like this issue is well on its way to just sorting itself out. Architects are designing more and more public bathrooms in a kind of a "T" shape rather than the typical men's and women's back to back. The public men's and women's still have their toilets and urinals back to back, but there's a second plumbing wall (the "cross" of the T) with the lavs on it, and on the other side is MULT… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 08:18 AM |
| 1 | Gay people are more compatible with each other than straight ones.what does compatible even mean though when you're comparing homosexuality with heterosexuality? PeanutButter & Jelly are Compatible, but theres still more friction than PeanutButter and just more PeanutButter | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:48 PM |
| 5 | Is true that men marry the convenient women they CAN have, while spend their lives secretly obsessing over the women they truly desire but can't have?Some do probably. But the way men love women contains some amount of paternalism, and I think that blunts the negative aspects of "Settling". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:39 AM |
| 2 | How can men be sexualy attracted to their past prime wives?Its Pavlovian. If for years, all (or even most) of the affection and intimacy and sex you're having is with one person, your mind and body is just going to grow to really like that person. Men might also grow to love one particular feature of their wife, which does not change as quickly as her overall youthfulness And then finally, when you get to be a whole generation older than someone, how they act starts to look weird and offputting. A GenZ actress playing a GenX character in a movie might b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 10:43 PM |
| 16 | The idea that "most men on dating apps are trash and don't want commitment" is egregious inaccurateThe problem is, once a woman has dated the “chads” on the dating app circuit, she’s nolonger really compatible with anyone else. And I’m not saying she’s damaged or used up or anything like that. I just mean she’s probably not going to swipe on a guy with limited dating experience now, and if she does it’s going to be hard/unlikely to turn into a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 04:58 PM |
| – | Do men get crushes on older women?My experience is teen boys get crushes on women in their 20s and 30s, teachers, nurses, etc. But most guys don’t start to see women in their 40s and 50s as attractive until they get closer themselves. Heck, some guys never see women that age as attractive ever, to such an extent that their marriage falls apart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 03:06 PM |
| 4 | We shouldn't incentive young heterosexuals to have relationships, maybe the oppositeAnti-natalism is genocide. YOU shouldn’t reproduce if you feel this way. But you shouldn’t be evangelizing this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 02:35 PM |
| 3 | Can you explain what emasculation feels like? Or is?As a man you’ll find people don’t really treat you like a person, but they will treat you like a man. To be emasculated feels like being un-personed because your only tether to personhood is manhood. You will notice that men do tolerate emasculation when the context is particularly “human”. Like when guys wear a dress to their buddy’s funeral per some drunken promise, or fathers letting their daughters paint their nails, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 09:52 PM |
| 1 | How would you feel about a "reverse orgasm gap*?I feel like keeping score is already kind of sus. Whether you're a man or a woman, just enjoy going down on your partner. Then everyone has as many orgasms as they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 09:13 AM |
| – | How does one really change their personality?Personality is largely shaped by experiences. So you have to have new experiences, or you have to repeat old experiences with a new attitude or from a new perspective. I have a theory I'm quite certain of, but Ive never heard/read it expressed by anyone else. My theory is that the key to personal growth, to changing your personality, is to chase "self-change" instead of "self-improvement". Do things (within reason) that are genuinely self-destructive, as long as they're new. Do good healthy thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 08:55 AM |
| 10 | Why do some of you push this pathetic idea that there are legions of sad sack men who will date practically any woman?It's not just talking about fee fees, it's physical "intimacy" too. Think about who the average straight single man is hugging, compared to who the average straight single woman is hugging. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 09:37 AM |
| 18 | Why do some of you push this pathetic idea that there are legions of sad sack men who will date practically any woman?Women get a broader range of social and emotional needs fulfilled by platonic friendships than men do. This is not set in stone, and we should encourage bromance everywhere we see it, but it's very unlikely the gap on this ever fully closes. But I agree complaining is a bad strategy. You're never going to complain your way into being attractive. The point of complaining like this is so women can more gracefully handle well-intentioned lonely men trying to make friends or communicate attraction. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 03:49 AM |
| 35 | Red Pill men: Why do you want to settle down with women if they're so bad?Who says women are bad? Women are women. They are the product of millions of years of evolution, and some of their evolutionary strategies are unpleasant and/or cruel, but the same goes for us men. Nature is cruel, and human civilization is a pretty thin veneer over it. I love my girlfriend. She absolutely adds to my life. She's fun, she's helpful, and she has a different set of skills than me so together we cover each other's weaknesses. Sex isn't everything, but reliably enthusiastic sex does … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 08:53 AM |
| 3 | Dating the ugly girl won't save you.I feel like if you are/were comfortable referring to her as ugly, and hard to look at, your relationship with the girl who cheated on you might have had some issues straining it. Date the girl in your league, not above, not below. And if that girl is not conventionally attractive, make sure you adore the attractive and/or cute physical traits she does have. Otherwise literally what’s the point? Stay single and make more platonic friends if you’re lonely. Fuck an escort every once in a while if y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Hypergamy is serious topic that woke and bluepilled people uncomfortable and they are unwilling to take seriously, analyze, and discuss the issue.You're not wrong, but what even *is* "up" as in dating up? Dating is a market; when a commodity trades well in the market it isn't doing Monetary Hypergamy, its value is just whatever the market says it is, and that's what it trades for. Who cares? Accept the market for what it is and try to add/increase value to what you have, or complain about it and never make any trades. And yes in some ways a man's life has less value than a woman's. He must chase and compete. This is fundamentally why comp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 10:14 AM |
| 13 | Why is it so hard to believe some people who genuinely value depth, loyalty, etc?It isn't. Those people definitely exist. The pill is knowing our monkey brain is always ticking too. The worst heartbreak/betrayal happens when people assume their partner just doesn't have a monkey brain at all. Some guy's perfect sapiosexual nerd wife cheats on him with "chad", etc. Whether you're a man dating a woman or a woman dating a man, your responsibility in a relationship is to try to be the "complete package" to your partner, including things your partner doesn't even know they need, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 09:17 AM |
| 1 | Being confident doesn’t matter if you’re not seen as competent.I'm pretty sure the guys who are confidently wrong are the guys who never had to deconstruct dating trends online. They're all married and living their best life, completely oblivious to any "pill". Women, or at least women as dense as Lilith, fail to understand that the red pill / self-help idea of "be confident" inherently includes earning that confidence by actually knowing things, actually experiencing things. This post is not coming out of Lilith's own life, she's shadowboxing with what she… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 08:51 AM |
| – | Why did I start getting more women by implementing toxic, narcissistic and manipulative behaviors?Because confidence is so important, that displaying it in negative/toxic ways is significantly better than not displaying it at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 07:05 AM |
| 3 | There is nothing wrong with being a passport bro, if she actually loves himI feel like if a guy is treated like a loser by all the women with the same culture/upbringing as him, then I'm sorry but he probably is a loser. The love/respect of a foreign partner seems like something transient. The clock is ticking until she too has enough information and cultural context to recognize him as a loser too. And you can see it clearly in how some passport bros act. One of their biggest goals is to minimize how much "cultural context" their partner can accumulate about them. It … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 07:06 AM |
| – | How do we create a world where everyone doesn’t hate each otherThe real answer is to have ingroup loyalty you need an outgroup. The outgroup does not need to be other humans, or even a "group" at all; the outgroup can be an idea or a struggle. If for example, Hostile Extraterrestrials were en-route, 400 years away like in the 3-Body-Problem novels, a lot of social issues would just fall out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 07:18 AM |
| 0 | What if women were attracted to boring, apathetic, mediocre men instead of fun, energetic ones?There might have been species of animals and even human tribes who were like that! But guess what, they didn't survive. Women like what they like specifically because it's evolutionarily useful; it gives her and her children the highest chance to survive and thrive. That's whats so sad about the male loneliness epidemic. Sure, women's preferences might be a little bit twisted by culture, but they're still approximately correct, they're still making approximately the right men fathers, and approx… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 07:10 AM |
| 2 | Men Care Way Too Much About Female ValidationBecause men are literally wired to get the lion's share of validation by getting attention/affection from women. It does not matter how many times their family and friends tell them they're successful and attractive, it's not real until it translates into female attention. I agree about paying for it though. If you make enough money to spend time frequently and unhurried with escorts, that's validation too. You bust your ass at work and get a 10k raise/bonus, thats 20-30 escort "dates". Validati… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 09:47 PM |
| 4 | Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like?That's a great attitude. But most people struggle to live that way. Impatience and resentfulness eventually creep in. Eventually you have to think/talk about if you're perhaps not compatible. And that discussion is kind of indistinguishable from "pressure". I've never heard of a man making a "kinky sex ultimatum" (though I'm sure it's happened), but it's very common to hear of women making marriage ultimatums to their boyfriend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 04:40 PM |
| 4 | Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like?I'd like to ask in return, if a man took a previous girlfriend travelling, or introduced her to his parents, or asked her to move in with him, but he expressed discomfort about it, why would his current girlfriend ask him to repeat these things with her? The point is, men and women look for different things to know if their partner actually likes them or not. For men it's often physical affection. For women it's often social or financial. I don't think anybody wants to cause their partner distre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 07:12 AM |
| 15 | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.This just sounds like an elaborate self-report for having never dated someone who you were sexually compatible with. But yes there is some truth that female heterosexuality is different from male heterosexuality. Part of it is about feeling desired. Part of why women like dicks is that they're like a real-life UI/UX indicating how much their partner is turned on. But what is the point of this? If you think the "average" straight woman is asexual then this is about redefining words. Whats your go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 04:09 PM |
| – | Young men should consider alternative options if failure loomsYou're evangelizing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 05:22 AM |
| – | Young men should consider alternative options if failure looms> I mean being trans isn’t an ideology No but trans'ing men who are struggling to succeed **is** an ideology. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 02:35 AM |
| – | Young men should consider alternative options if failure loomsIt doesn't apply to every trans person. But you're implying that it "belongs" as a legitimate part of transgenderism. A part that we have to consider when considering transgenderism overall, which is going to make normal people (who don't have the gender ideology of a Wahabi Cleric or a Cuck Pornographer) pretty grossed out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 01:58 AM |
| – | Young men should consider alternative options if failure loomsThis is incredibly dystopian, and does not reflect well on transgenderism. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 01:43 AM |
| 57 | Red pill men: what turned you red pill?I was ~35 and had been quite progressive (and therefore blue pill adjacent) for most of my adult life. I was lonely and depressed and kind of "snapped" and started thinking differently and consuming media differently. I'm fairly certain if I did not snap like this and open my mind, I would still be a tremendously lonely adult virgin. I think the red pill is 100% true, but kind of like staring directly into the sun. People who consume too much redpill media, who keep it at the front of their mind… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 06:49 AM |
| 2 | Men have a large access to casual sexThinking this thru is a good way to see things in perspective better as a man. At least it's a good reminder that not all sexual attention is good. But it's not literally accurate that unattractive people that match your orientation are the same thing as people who do not match your orientation. Like this is the incel meme of "chadsexual" women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 05:30 PM |
| 14 | What *specific* social missteps are common among romantically struggling men?Not saying you’re wrong, but this is right at the heart of the issue, of the “gender wars”. So many men hear this advice from women but don’t see it manifest in real life, and indeed see the opposite. I myself was the classic lonely guy struggling with dating. But very early on dating my girlfriend, I made sure to say sexually-charged things, and it seemed to help things go better than ever before. Respectfully, my guess is what women really want is sexual-tension conjured out of thin air. That … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 04:43 PM |
| 0 | Red pill dudes don’t actually do better with women than other men. The ones who seem to do well do so because of a self fulfilling prophecyYou need to learn the difference between red pill influencers / evangelists and normal guys who've benefitted from accepting the red pill's truths. In your last paragraph you nail it. Red pill truths are true. Red pill tactics work. You just have to not let it consume and replace who you are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 04:28 AM |
| 5 | Men complain about “women being able to detect bad men” when they are considered the bad men.Those people are extreme outliers. Made even worse by the internet following Chris Chan had, and the wealth Elliot Rodgers family had. They aren't the "typical lonely guy". Or I mean maybe they are the typical lonely guy you want to live your life around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 09:55 PM |
| 5 | Men complain about “women being able to detect bad men” when they are considered the bad men.> A piece of shit cant be an abuser if they have no opportunities to get a victim. He’s still a piece of shit and people can see that. This is crazy. You have no idea if some lonely guy will be an abuser or not. But the typical lonely guy who's pretty cautious and gentle is probably less likely than average, not more likely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 09:22 PM |
| 10 | Men complain about “women being able to detect bad men” when they are considered the bad men.Not that many women evangelize about how they can detect bad men, but as the gender that gets to pick between many options, there just an inherent assumption that they are with someone they put serious thought into picking. Men complain about being filtered out for not being exciting/spontaneous/impulsive enough, or not being rich enough, or attractive enough. The reason they complain is that the spontaneous/impulsive trait they don't have correlates very closely with toxic/abusive behaviour. So… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Dating for straight men is entirely TOO MUCH WORKIt is a lot of work. But don't lose sight of your ultimate goal - and not everybody has the same ultimate goal. If you want an LTR, and eventually marriage and a family, look for a girl who you actually get along with, a girl who's looking for a partner not a sugar daddy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/26 09:25 PM |
| 3 | Sex isn't worth the hoops many men jump through to get it.Just don't date women like that. Most of the time the men doing it are men who aren't their type's type. Be your type's type, or pick a new type of woman to pursue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/26 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Men's contribution to society isn't a dating argument.Cool, so yeah women can end this bargain and find out for themselves if it was good for them or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 07:28 AM |
| 4 | Men's contribution to society isn't a dating argument.You're absolutely right that you don't have to date some loser just because men invented plumbing and air conditioning. But men have a point that society/civilization is a kind of bargain, a bargain that has worked very well for everybody, and cutting huge swaths of men out of sex, reproduction, and inclusion in society is a betrayal of that bargain. If women only treat ~10% of men as men, eventually the other 90% are going to opt-out and society is going to lose out on what those men would have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 07:12 AM |
| 4 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.Ok you do you. As I said in my original comment, married men live longer and in better health. But you're life is yours to live | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 02:45 AM |
| 4 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.Then don't date an "average" woman in her mid 20s. Find a girl with a low single digits bodycount, 0-4ish. My point is do whatever you have to do to get rid of your FOMO. Casual sex if you can, or prostitutes if need be. But make sure you have sex with some 8s, 9s, and 10s. And then go looking for a relationship where you focus less on her looks and more on her behaviour and attitude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 12:42 AM |
| 3 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.I mean yeah we are talking about what to do if you're not chad. If you're a chad and you like the lifestyle then just camp dating apps and go for the body count high score. But you can be a traditional adult man without being a beta. Our dads weren't betas. Find a girl you get along with, have sex frequently and blend your lives together. Knock her up and raise your children together to the best of your ability/means. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 10:16 PM |
| 1 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.Popular sayings are often useful, often wise. But they're not always literally correct. In this case "pay" doesnt always mean money; and it doesn't always mean its not worth it. There's a lot of happily married men out there who "pay" by listening to his wife's problems, by fixing things around the house, by going to social events where his wife is more eager to go than he is, etc. Some contribute 50/50 on money, some contribute a little more than 50%. Some men are happy contributing most/all. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 08:10 PM |
| 3 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.Why not both? Fuck prostitutes to get rid of any FOMO. And then find a girl you actually like and who doesn't use you for money. Because eventually being single becomes a liability. Married men live a lot longer than single men, and live the latter ~third of their life in far better health. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 07:28 AM |
| 3 | Has manosphere content gotten you laid?Because it's confidence; confidence and an internal source of morality. There are obviously other ways to build confidence and an internal source of morality, but being a "hateful scumbag" is one of the best ways right now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 03:12 PM |
| 3 | Has manosphere content gotten you laid?Suburbs/Exurbs of Vancouver, so probably pretty similar. I think maybe Millennial women are a bit more openminded, and also maybe there's a big difference between suburbs and exurbs. I think women have plenty of the same "based" opinions men have, but they express them differently. Like most women aren't going to yell slurs. But almost every canadian woman has a whole slew of bad experiences with brown guys. Also, don't write off non-white/immigrant women. They're cool, and many of them especial… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 03:10 PM |
| 42 | Has manosphere content gotten you laid?I was a 36 year old blue pilled-kissless-virgin. The way I see the redpill is it's like staring directly at the sun. It's all true, but best to look at it rarely and indirectly or you will fry your eyes/brain. The most important thing redpill/manosphere ideology did for me is to make me comfortable being hated. As a bluepilled virgin I was terrified of being judged, or of making anybody uncomfortable. As soon as I got rid of this complex my life radically improved. But it wasn't easy; it did req… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 07:23 AM |
| 5 | Most Men Don't Have Preferences. They Have FearAny rational choice can be accused of being a fear response because obviously you're scared of the consequences of the wrong choice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 09:31 AM |
| 5 | Most Men Don't Have Preferences. They Have FearYou and everybody else knows "past" means exes and baggage, not literally no past. And the reason men want that is that a lot of past partners impedes pair bonding. Fear is such a stupid accusation. Any rational choice can be accused of being a fear response because obviously you're scared of the consequences of the wrong choice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 09:27 AM |
| 6 | Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands?I didnt see this post. But the reality is a lot of todays red (or even purple) pill is completely subverted by the black. They're incredibly lonely and cynical and the "industry" formed around dating pills/advice is so rapacious it drains every drop of their optimism and dignity. Real redpill loves happy couples, and pretty quickly ends up in one of them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/26 11:53 PM |
| 2 | Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “.For sure! I hadn't even thought of kink but it fits the paradigm perfectly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/26 04:06 AM |
| 47 | Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “.Another way people describe this is women want to be dominated and mistreated as long as she and the guy doing it are both "in on it". And this is all part of the same gender symmetry of men think of dying in a war the way women think of being r*ped. Men love games and sports that simulate war in some way, but everyone needs to be in on it, because we don't actually want to die or be confronted with genuine life-or-death hatred and/or fear. The female equivalent is a bit more awkward to talk abo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/26 09:28 PM |
| 3 | What would you need to see/get from a woman in a relationship to feel certain that you were not being settled for, or used for resources or companionship?Sex with the same attitude/mannerisms/enthusiasm she has for other things she obviously enjoys. Like for example she looks at me the same way she looks at a plate full of her favorite food. This can't really be faked I don't think. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/26 07:03 AM |
| – | “Women date ugly guys all the time” is just not trueI don't think anybody denies that woman date men who have SOMETHING going for them. But that something does not have to be perfect skin and bone structure. It can be looks, money, prestige, fitness, strength, knowledge, sometimes (rarely) even kindness/empathy/patience. Strength and Prestige is a very reliable alternative to looks. A huge number of "ugly" men are happily dating/married. Because even if they aren't particularly fit, they have normal male upperbody strength, and they are respected… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/26 11:30 PM |
| 1 | There is no reason for women to ever believe “men feel love through sex”.I think you're still misunderstanding in the same way. Not all sex is loving. But all (romantic) love includes sex. I don't go around saying "men feel love thru sex" or complaining about dead bedrooms; I'm happily in a relationship and don't really care what other people are up to. I'm just trying to explain what the phrase means. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 12:36 AM |
| 1 | There is no reason for women to ever believe “men feel love through sex”.Don't have anything negative to say/think about women who make a new boyfriend wait. That's her business. But there is a fundamental difference in how men and woman experience sex, and "men feel love thru sex" is one way people try to express that difference. I think the confusion you're having is you're thinking it means all sex is love and you're correctly pointing out that's obviously not true, but what it actually means is all love is created/maintained/strengthened thru sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/26 09:16 PM |
| 12 | What’s keeping the red pill alive?I was a 36 year old blue pilled virgin. Put women on a pedestal, completely mortified of resembling any negative male stereotypes or making anybody uncomfortable. The red pill exists and continues because its the truth, and truth without cynicism normally leads to solutions. The red pill has a major problem with cynicism, and I think its getting worse. But in my case I think I absorbed just the right amount of it to turn myself into a normal healthy happy guy. 2 Years later, I have a beautiful g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 08:17 PM |
| 8 | Men have been programmed to think sex is everything.Let me fix the title. Men have evolved over millions of years to think sex is very very important. Don't get me wrong, guys who day stuff like "where was she when I was in school" are cringe and bad. But it's not a psyop. Sex is very important to men because biologically it's how we/they reproduce, and socially it is (or derives from) the lion's share of how we/they are validated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/26 07:45 AM |
| 2 | Let’s talk about sexYeah I think its just semantics. Like the enthusiasm is not faked; its genuine, and can be summoned at will. If you can't summon up some genuine enthusiasm when partner initiates, then why be in the relationship at all? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/26 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Let’s talk about sex37/M/Canada. Was a male loneliness epidemic victim until about a year ago. Sex clearly isn’t a need, because I and many others survived without it for decades. But at least from the male perspective sex is a signifier and a perk of being a full member of the “Tribe”. Or to put it another way, sex is the antidote to alienation. If you’re a male virgin, your position in the tribe is some mixture of being a child, and being a dangerous outsider. When you start having sex, people seem to just know. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/26 04:43 PM |
| – | “Choose better” until that means women wont fuck a stranger.Usually when guys complain like this, it's not that women had/have no standards, it's that they have the WRONG standards (in their opinion). It's easier to read/understand your own gender, so a lot of guys feel like it's obvious women are choosing wrong. The same way women will sometimes notice that a male friend/brother/son/celebrity is dating the wrong kind of girl. This is all just pointless though. There's no reason for anybody to be mad about any of this. It's simply sexual/relationship-mar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/26 06:50 PM |
| 0 | Are there men who want a traditional family, but also can have a healthy amount of emotional intelligence?I’m reading a lot into “Emotional Intelligence” that OP maybe didn’t mean, and is never meant in highly sanitized relationship fantasies. I was reading into it that OP didn’t just want a guy who’s present and pleasant and on weekends fathers his children. I was reading that she wanted a guy who would put up with constant complaining, and other neurotic behaviour. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/26 04:06 AM |
| 0 | Are there men who want a traditional family, but also can have a healthy amount of emotional intelligence?Yeah this generally doesn’t exist because part of the traditional gender roles is that the SAHM gives her husband peace and comfort at home. Nobody wants to work all day and come home to “communication” about pointless stuff. You should be looking for a middle ground where a guy is trad enough to provide more than 50/50, but progressive enough to entertain the “communication”. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/26 09:38 PM |
| 13 | Red pillers, why do you have such weird ideas about what consitutes “nice”?Nice means 2 things. 1 it’s a word people use when they can’t think of anything else positive to say about someone. 2 (for a guy) it’s someone who’s not assertive about what he wants or doesn’t want in the bedroom, or from a relationship. Positive traits are associated with being “bad” largely as a juxtaposition of #2. Everyone has a different idea of where the line is between assertive and aggressive so you can’t be assertive without some portion of society seeing you as aggressive. And if some… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 08:12 PM |
| – | Why do you think I will regret whoremaxxing in order to chase my fantasy of having sex with white women?They also equate lighter skin to leisure and wealth (because no tan) so someone with genetically lighter skin looks like a prize by default. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 12:18 AM |
| – | Why do you think I will regret whoremaxxing in order to chase my fantasy of having sex with white women?Least horny brown guy in Canada | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/26 11:59 PM |
| 2 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenI don't think its about "getting it out of your system", I think it's just that the confidence everyone talks about, the confidence that makes men successful in dating/career/etc, can only be formed from consistently receiving female validation from women he's not bored with. For some guys, one and done is fine. They're genuinely and persistently in love and in lust with their gf/wife; they're never bored of her. So their confidence is second to none, with a body count as low as literally one. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:18 PM |
| 4 | Bisexual men represent the biggest share of bluepill men on PPD, yet women overwhelmingly are disgusted by the idea of dating a bisexual man.That's fair, bi people do have a unique perspective. But I don't think it changes that an all-encompassing worldview by and for bi people, is still very niche. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 07:53 AM |
| 3 | Bisexual men represent the biggest share of bluepill men on PPD, yet women overwhelmingly are disgusted by the idea of dating a bisexual man.I think bisexual guys do ok. The only problem is anybody who's looking for good advice needs to get the advice for their specific sexual orientation, so if a straight guy is following the advice of an LGBT guy living his best polycule life, he's not going to be getting helpful advice. I could be wrong about this, but I think most men are straight, and they want a monogamous relationship with an attractive woman, where they have a lot of sex, plus enrich each other's lives in other ways too. If t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 06:59 AM |
| 9 | 🤔 Quick question for the Guys in This Sub: How Many of you Are Actually in a Relationship? 👀Yes. Living together with girlfriend of 1.5 years. I am a former incel/volcel though, my first date/kiss/sex/relationship were all in my mid-30s. I consider myself redpilled, but only because in the past I was very blue pilled. Reality is I’m just normal now; and that’s probably why I ascended from inceldom, and why I’m now in a happy and healthy relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/12/25 05:22 PM |
| 5 | What hinders alot of guys from getting and staying in long term relationships is being manchildren.I know a lot of “manchildren” who are married. I don’t think there’s any correlation. I think all this is is women like you feel compelled to moralize your choice in men. Just relax; like who you like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 07:15 PM |
| 6 | Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each otherNo I don't want this. I'm just musing about what an equivalent re-ordering of society might look like, if you wanted to induce the same strain on gender relations we have right now, but in reverse. And in my thought experiment the "camp moms" would be paid. My thinking was what's an analogue to police. Police provide a base level of safety/security. Everyone benefits, but single women benefit the most. The "camp moms" would provide a base level of nurturing/empathy/care. Again everyone benefits,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/25 08:08 PM |
| -1 | Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each otherI was thinking of some real women being supplied as "camp moms", as a kind of analogue to police. They're not for sex. And then sex robots are sold by the private sector; they're the analogue to male earning power. If women want to shop a lot, they formerly needed a high-earning husband, but now they can pursue their own career and shop vicariously. If men want an active and exciting sex life with conventionally attractive partner(s), they have to charm them somehow. But in the future, it's the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/25 07:59 PM |
| 1 | Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each otherI was about to say the problem is the unique things that women were attracted to men for, safety, physical strength, earning power, has been either delegated to government, or pushed as something women should do too/instead. But then I had a thought. What if the reverse happened? What if men start getting the unique things they were attracted to women for from government and from themselves. Sex robots, and government mandated “camp moms” (colloquial name for women who bring some feminine energy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/25 07:10 PM |
| 3 | Putting ego aside for my woman’s pleasure. Girls thoughts?I think toys are fine and being against toys is as you say a bit selfish. But toys that vibrate are one thing; people don’t vibrate, but pleasure potential is obvious. But just a huge dildo, and wearing it like a strap-on, is not for everybody. OP can do what he likes, but I think probably he’s asking these questions because he knows he’s doing mental gymnastics to be ok with it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/25 01:04 AM |
| 11 | Every woman should have high standards. Thats never a bad thing.Do men complain that women should lower their standards? Or do they just complain women should adjust their standards to get pumped and dumped less, get abused less, get divorced/widowed less, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 02:28 PM |
| – | Passport bros shouldn’t feel guilty at all the hypocrisy around this topic is insaneOne thing to at least consider is historically it was women who “crossed borders”. Genetic studies indicate a male lineage stayed in the same tribe/village for many generations, while a female lineage was all over the place. This happened because some of the very first tribe-to-tribe interactions were to meet to “trade” women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 03:44 PM |
| 2 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?Her libido/kinkiness, but I think different guys mess it up in both directions. And somewhat related to one direction of the above, threesomes and/or (her) bisexuality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 12:12 AM |
| 5 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsWell said, and in addition to songs, movies, etc, there’s also the use of “sex sells” in advertising, and references to sex in comedy/memes. It’s everywhere. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsBeing unmarried and childless are worth about 10 years. Kids keep you young, and may keep you out of a seniors home. And a spouse gives you someone to live for, and ensures you to get things checked out even if you’re scared or neglectful of your health. Full disclosure I just pushed the range to 10-20 because lifelong sexlessness has got to overlap more with depression than just never “settling down” does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 09:25 AM |
| 1 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsConstantly? Not always in those exact words, but you have to be willfully ignorant to not think “incel” isn’t doing exactly that. Imagine me asking you when is the last time someone went “haha slut” or “haha cat lady”. Constantly, of course, if not in those exact words. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 09:16 AM |
| 6 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsYou're so naive. I'm not saying people should lie to a 300 pound woman so they can learn to have sex, but men ("males" lol) having insecurities about their v-card is the farthest thing from a "strange obsession". Society validates men with sex. That's just a fact, and everyone knows its a fact because when an argument turns sour and someone wants to hurt a man with words, they go to (lack of) sex every single time. From puberty to about age 25, don't stress. I agree with you its active torture o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 06:35 AM |
| 3 | Being a stepdad is legit good strategy for some guysWho exactly will be celebrating you? Random women? Your gf/wife's family? Her ex? In a comment you say "polite society", but I think what even is that and why should we want their praise? Your own family and friends will be sad and disappointed that you're not making a family of your own. Everyone imagines us so far removed from our biological imperative to pass on genes, but although they don't think of it this way, little old ladies care a lot about it. Your mom will see you as a tremendous fa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 06:21 AM |
| 1 | In what situations would you classify a man as a "beta"?Do women married to cucks truly love their cuck husbands? Like I assume there's a type of love, but its not the same kind of love as in normal relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 07:24 AM |
| 3 | Its not “Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks” for women to change their priorities over time.The problem is women and men care most about different things in a relationship. Women fail to understand AFBB because they think of it by imagining a guy who had a bunch of sex and now wants to settle down. No. The real inverse of AFBB would be if men made a habit of spending a lot of time and money on a bunch of different girls in college. Introducing them to his family, travelled with them, his plus-one to a bunch of cool events, big social media presence with them, etc. And then as he got ol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 05:49 PM |
| 11 | The blue pill gives you a better shot at happiness, for less cost, than the red pill.Thinking you’re good enough does work great, but only for people who actually are good enough for what they want. So if you’re attractive and rich, you can be blue pilled. Also if you’re LGBT and dating someone who isnt a straight cis monogamous woman, you can also be blue pilled because LGBT relationships are usually more casual and non-reproductive. But if you’re an unremarkable straight guy, I’m sorry but society today does not think you’re good enough, and nothing you tell yourself will chan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:10 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonBody Count matters, but on the log scale, as in the Order of Magnitude or Body Count. GF/Wife Material is the same log of body count as you. Not more, and not less. More is the “whore”, and less is just a girl who doesn’t really match your energy. Some guys will put the “less” on a pedestal, but I don’t think those relationships are ideal. And it’s not because sex makes you dirty somehow, it’s just that it’s a good indicator of your personality and lifestyle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 01:53 AM |
| 3 | How is a man the 'leader' in a relationship?My understanding of the “trad” attitude is the man is the macro leadership, and the women turn raw materials/circumstances into the things a family/household needs. They describe her role as a “value multiplier”. She can’t directly affect the family’s income, where they live, when/if a vacation is happening, etc. But she is in charge of turning money into groceries and groceries into good meals, maintaining a rapport with the neighbors, and turning a vacation into an experience worth remembering… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 03:02 PM |
| – | If a loner guy gets attention, but from overweight women only, does that mean he is not THAT "off"?I guess I pointed out some specifics, but I don’t think high estrogen and fun in and out of the bedroom are “differences”. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 04:45 PM |
| – | If a loner guy gets attention, but from overweight women only, does that mean he is not THAT "off"?I second this. I’m not 6’4, jacked, etc: I’m more like OP’s guy, but I’ve slept with a few smaller girls and a few bigger girls, and my girlfriend is bigger. Bigger girls are often more fun and more generous, in and out of the bedroom. Estrogen is connected with higher bodyfat too remember, so bigger girls are more likely to have the other estrogen-related traits too like very soft smooth skin, nurturing instinct, etc. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but I feel like an adult virgin ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 04:14 PM |
| 23 | The idea that older men dating younger women are losers - is a woman's revenge fantasy.I don’t think many people think he’s a loser because he “couldn’t” bag an older woman. Instead it’s because big age gaps are assumed to be more transactional. You have to admit between a 40+ guy who married his highschool sweetheart and has 4 kids with her, and a 40+ guy paying a sugar baby for attention, the latter is more of a loser. There’s exceptions of course, like some silver fox kind of a guy. But I already don’t think he’s getting called a loser. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 03:08 PM |
| 1 | If men take what they can get in dating, then why should women bother with relationships?I want to say youre delusional and privileged, but I think “settling” just means something different to men and women. According to your definition, we probably didn’t “settle”. I just think your definition is wrong. If you ever did overhear men being cynically pragmatic about their relationships/partners, I hope you wouldn’t actually go broadcasting everything they said to the world, because the meaning would be lost in translation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/25 08:51 PM |
| 1 | The idea reagrding male virginity as failures is painfully wrong, red pillers please stop lying on here.If you’re not a man yourself, not a man who’s been a virgin well into adulthood, why do you think you know better? Maybe you don’t care about men being inexperienced, but men aren’t lying that most women do. This is like one very eccentric hiring manager saying “no you don’t need experience on your cv, employers value the purity of a blank slate”. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/25 03:22 PM |
| 9 | If men take what they can get in dating, then why should women bother with relationships?Everyone settles. Everyone settles about everything in their lives. Men are just more likely recognize/admit it because men enjoy “logic”. What I mean by everyone settles, is unless you have Jeff Bezos’ net worth and a bodybuilder/model’s body, you’re settling on yourself. It’s kind of absurd to think you won’t settle on a partner when you’re already settling on yourself. I love my girlfriend. But I know we’re both settling on eachother. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/25 03:14 PM |
| 2 | How did RP help you?More friendly, more talkative, more helpful and likely to ask me for help. Also while actually out with my girlfriend, anybody selling us something is very …deferential? Like waitresses or salespeople or carnival/market workers, whether its subconscious or not they must have a strategy for couples. My girlfriend pays for dates almost as often as I do, but I guess they don’t know that. It’s flattering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 05:10 AM |
| 2 | How did RP help you?The lie sure as hell wasn’t in the dating profile. What changed is I hadn’t used dating apps seriously before. Better pictures, multiple apps instead of just one, and keeping at it rather than giving up. I got advice on pictures from my sister in law, which was kind of hard/embarrassing, but she was always encouraging me and offering to help so I took her up on it. I also asked my mom to take my photo with her dog, which again was hard for me for whatever reason. I think part of my incel cope wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 04:46 AM |
| 1 | How did RP help you?I went on dating apps and followed all the best normie meta advice like what types of photos in my profile, etc. I deliberately paced myself to save ego/energy, by only swiping right once per app per day on a girl I thought was genuinely in my league and genuinely might get along with. I also constructed one very robust lie to soften some of my red flags. I constructed a lie that I fooled around with a girl I used to play MMORPGs with. I was a dateless KHHV; but I invented this story to be a PIV… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 01:14 AM |
| 2 | How did RP help you?Probably all of the above. The magnitude of the difference surprised me though. Like it didn’t feel like cause and effect; it felt like magic lmao. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 12:41 AM |
| 3 | How did RP help you?Because adult male virgins just act a certain way. Society doesnt know immediately with no margin of error, but they hedge and usually are correct. I know this because society treats me differently now I have a girlfriend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 06:52 PM |
| 2 | How did RP help you?Just a 35+ virgin. But I’d argue the same as the other guy who replied: society doesn’t really care that/if there’s a difference. That’s part of the Red Pill actually, and may have been a key part of how it helped me. I never identified as an incel, was never rude or hateful to women, I actually HATED incels, you can imagine as a blue pill altruist. But nobody cares that there’s different types of adult male virgins. Society saw me as an incel so I had to see myself the same way if I was going t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 06:27 PM |
| 21 | How did RP help you?RP cured me of being an incel. I was the type of guy who grew up with very progressive altruistic values, but a very hard time doing any kind of introspection of my own success/happiness. RP got me caring more about myself and less about anyone else. That’s not always a good thing, but for me it’s what I needed. RP’s analysis of women is just objectively correct I think, although sometimes it’s delivered with a malice women don’t deserve. Armed with this knowledge I focused on dating apps. I was… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 03:34 PM |
| 1 | What do you guys think about extreme age gap relationships?It’s transactional, and in rare situations where it’s not transactional, that somehow makes it even worse. It’s also cruel to both people’s families. Often the young woman will try to take money/things that would otherwise belong in the man’s old family. Like his late wife’s jewelry, or money he had set aside to help with grandkid’s college. And tho there’s no material harm to the women’s parents, it’s rather disturbing and distancing that she’s dating someone older than them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 03:22 PM |
| – | Women tend to be all about mental health awareness, yet practice a zero tolerance policy for socially awkward menYeah it’s hypocritical and it seems unfair but it’s just how it is. Women’s tendency to be nurturing and empathetic comes from a different part of their brain than their attraction. To put it in evolutionary terms, she’s wired to mate with the strongest smartest most neurotypical male. But then she’s also wired to make the most of her children and of every existing person in the community, even if they’re weak/awkward. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 03:08 PM |
| 2 | Redpillers I know IRL are losersYou misunderstood me. It’s not biological determinism. People can (and almost always do) suppress their instinctive biological tendencies. But being aware of them is still useful. It’s very well understood that humans are wired to kill; if acknowledging that was a “pill”, it would be a pill almost everyone has taken. Most humans aren’t killers; most humans diffuse/transmute their rage into something more ethical/acceptable, but we all still benefit from knowing humans have the capacity to kill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/25 04:06 AM |
| 3 | Redpillers I know IRL are losersRed Pill doesn’t mean hating women online. It means being honest. Complex living organisms have a male and a female because it super-charges natural selection. It’s not enough to just survive to adulthood; you also need to compete. Females (of mammals, of great apes) have a role where they gatekeep what males can reproduce, directly gatekeeping the very weak when necessary, and indirectly gatekeeping the rest via fights for mating rights with her. Women are more that just their female reproducti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/25 04:42 PM |
| 26 | Redpillers I know IRL are losersThe causation you’re implying is probably backwards. The most attractive and privileged guys don’t need an ideology to do well with women and succeed in their career. It’s guys who struggle that look for ideologies or lifehacks to improve their lives. I myself am a pretty moderate; I considered using the Purple flair. But if someone looked at me as a shining example of the RP they’d say I’m a loser. I’m a shlubby nerd with a grotesque birth defect. But when I was bluepill I was so lonely, and so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/25 04:22 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: Your age-appropriate date has a collection of romance novels, fanfiction, and Disney Princess stuff. Red flag? Or no big deal?Honestly kind of a green flag to me. Those are arguably hobbies; they’re time sinks at least. For me it’s a lot more important a girl can happily entertain herself, than that she have perfectly curated high-minded media consumption. I also like when girls are “Disney Adults” (or pokemon, Mario, Hello Kitty, etc). They always have a bubbly girlish personality that I find very cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/10/25 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Do you know what makes a good gf /wife?It’s crude but the thru line that applies to everybody is a girlfriend who “makes his dick hard, but not his life”. That doesn’t mean sex on the first date or it’s all about sex. It just means sex eventually, being flirty/playful, etc. And not making his life hard means don’t be a burden or an agent of chaos. Be financially and emotionally stable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/25 03:26 PM |
| 1 | I constantly hear from women about ‘r@pe’ but every girl I have met has that fantasy and more.A lot. But yeah most of us don’t want to actually die in a war or get raped. It’s just a fantasy. Last I checked women are trying to escape being dragged out of their home and sent to their creepy neighbours rape dungeon. But my point is the fantasy plays a role in the media/literature we enjoy, we try to simulate it in a safe environment (CNC and other kink with trusted partners for women, sports and video games for men) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/25 02:14 PM |
| 1 | I constantly hear from women about ‘r@pe’ but every girl I have met has that fantasy and more.Women fantasize about rape for the same reason men fantasize about dying heroically in a war. Because in our ancient past it happened a lot, and there was evolutionary pressure to feel it as provocative and and exciting | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/25 08:29 AM |
| 4 | For a lot of lonely guys, they’re incapable of being good boyfriends….because they choose not to be.It's ok for women to like what they like. I'm not interested in forcing or guilting women into dating lonely guys. But don't invent this bullshit that they're all rude lol. You don't want to date these guys because they're ugly/plain, and they're introverted/uncharismatic/neurodivergent. THATS OK! Just be honest; it's better for everybody if you're just honest. And to be fair, I'm sure women do have to interact with a fair number of rude guys who aren't attractive enough to be as rude as they ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 08:27 PM |
| 5 | How many men do you think are settling for their girlfriends / wives?My own experience as an autistic guy with a grotesque birth defect is its extremely easy to seed a crush on someone. My first impression of my girlfriend was that she was cute, but not conventionally attractive. After I met her in person and spent some time with her and we got along so well, I decided I wanted to be drawn to her physically.....and then I just was. I feel ugly guys (and girls) know this and do this naturally, and it's the midwits of attractiveness who struggle and obsess over "se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/25 09:00 PM |
| 1 | Pair bonding a lot actually increases your ability to pair bond. Being on this subreddit might be damaging your ability to pair bond.Buddhism sounds incredibly toxic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/09/25 10:43 PM |
| 15 | If men are always expected to pay, why haven’t women accumulated more savings than men in western societies?In a typical modern relationship, the man pays a little more on dates, and the woman spends a little more on grooming/fashion/etc, such that their saving stay the same. If the man earns way more than the woman, he might start buying her clothing, paying for her hair/nails kind of stuff. If the woman earns more than the man, dates will go fully dutch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/25 11:13 PM |
| 9 | Why should women treat you like a Chad ?Men should expect to put in effort. But it can be pretty alienating when women will have very strict rules, low sex-drive/adventurism, but throws it all out the window for a more attractive higher status man. Men don't do this to plain looking women. No man says "nah babe I used to go down on my ex, but I don't like doing that anymore. Maybe 2 minutes of my fingers on your birthday." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/25 08:28 PM |
| 11 | When did the narrative shift from "it's your personality and misogyny that keeping you single" to "ofc women love attractive men, are you a stupid shut in!!" ?This is why speaking truth to power is important. You'll rarely if ever get some sudden tectonic shift, or people say you're right and I'm sorry, but things will change. Contractions will eventually be addressed, gaslightings will evenually get extinguished. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 07:56 PM |
| -1 | How many dates should a woman wait to have sex, in your opinion?3-6 dates. This just seems like common sense for a person who's not afraid or ashamed of sex but doesnt do it with actual strangers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 07:23 PM |
| 3 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?No I think blue pill is accurate enough about looks. Like I replied to another comment: I'd say of the things I listed, dominance, status, and interest from other women are probably more controversial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 06:55 PM |
| 3 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?I know. I'd say of the things I listed, dominance, status, and interest from other women are probably more controversial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 01:40 PM |
| 2 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?EDIT: Just realized I didnt answer your first question. I went on dating apps, and despite how much I hate photos of myself and hate the "meta" around dating apps, I made an effort to have a good profile that presented the real me, but in the best possible light, in the most meta kind of format. I used Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, and every day I tried to swipe exactly once on each app. This maintained my standards and my ego, and kept me from burning out. Over about 6 months I had ~10 good "talki… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 01:37 PM |
| 4 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?Yeah I am, we’ve been together about a year and a half and she’s going to move in with me soon :) I was/am a shy and gentle kind of guy, and like so many other guys like this who don’t have above-average looks to compensate, I didn’t get much attention from girls. I think a splash of red pill ideology is super useful for this type of guy. But looking directly into the abyss breaks people and makes them way too cynical to function. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 05:15 AM |
| 12 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?I was BP and then turned RP. I initially overshot the target and settled on beliefs and values that are a lot more moderate, not sure if I should be Purple or Red really. I had never had a girlfriend until after this happened, and then getting to know my girlfriend made me waver on some things, and actually solidified/deepened some others. Like for example the RP view of female attraction is 100% real. It's looks, but it's also confidence, competence, dominance, status, and interest from other w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Do you agree with Iliza Schlesinger's take on hateful undesirable saying that it's "natural selection"?heh sure. But don't kid yourself its (valid) natural selection though, if you're selecting for a stagnation/shrinking of population | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/09/25 10:33 PM |
| 7 | Do you agree with Iliza Schlesinger's take on hateful undesirable saying that it's "natural selection"?Natural Selection is always going on, but human selection isnt all natural anymore. Also even natural selection can be wrong; every species that went extinct selected for the wrong things. Groups of people can collectively evangelize mate selection for certain traits, and other people can caution against it or promote their own list of traits worth selecting for. The reality right now is that the way some women are choosing to do mate selection is going lead to fewer kids and fewer still who hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 11:45 PM |
| 5 | Women want to be sexy, but hate the men who sexualize themIt all makes way more sense when you see it as instinctive, rooted as deeply as men's instinctive mating strategies (such as being attracted to youth/fertility). Women want to be seen as sexual at precisely the times and by precisely the people they choose. This is how women instinctively try to pass on their genes efficiently and effectively, how they try not to "waste" a pregnancy on a useless kid. And it's also how they try to accrue resources while maintaining their safety. There's nothing e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/25 04:47 PM |
| 13 | Men offer nothing to women but still expect women to want themDo you really hear more older women warning younger women to not get married than older men warning younger men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/25 01:41 AM |
| 5 | A lot of men who women otherwise love as friends, but never see them “that way”I dunno what to tell you buddy its just the nature of human mate selection. Women like talking/venting to patient kind-hearted people, and women like having sex with confident exciting people. Most guys arent both, and so women often get each of the things they want from different sets of people. All you can do is set healthy boundaries with women who don't see you "that way", and find women to date / have sex with who do see you "that way". I do agree with you 100% that its unforgivable gasligh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 05:10 PM |
| 1 | What are some things women dont understand about you?If a guy says you’re “cute” he’s not damning you with faint praise. It’s much easier for a cute girl to suddenly be a baddie by dressing and acting the part, than for a baddie suddenly be cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 02:47 PM |
| 0 | If society doesn't owe men wives, men don't owe society our labour, taxes and bloodMen are expected to labour/sacrifice for society on two different levels, and your post only makes sense for one of them. The first one, where it doesnt make sense, is the basics of working to support ourselves and pay taxes. Nomatter how hard it is to find a wife/gf/fuck, we can't become worthless parasites. Single women (and married women in two income families) are expected to support themselves and pay taxes too. Go Check-out of society if you want, go live in the woods, but don't become a h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:37 PM |
| 7 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menThere are definitely women like that. A lot has changed since 25 years ago that might mean there's less, but there is still definitely women like that. I think OP is talking in very broad terms, and with a skew towards dating apps and "approaching", where men are judged for status/looks first, before their values and personality have time to shine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 05:23 PM |
| 7 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menFinancial stability *is* a type of status. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 05:19 PM |
| 7 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menYeah. 39$ per month was my extreme example of making very little money. Maybe a more grounded example would be the guy who’s been a grad student in academia for years making just enough to live in a studio apartment, and if he ever finishes his thesis on decolonization he might get a teaching job and be able to rent a 1-bedroom. Compare him to the engineer who starts at 100k working for a mining company. OP is pointing to how disengaging from capitalism does on average correlate to lower income … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 03:16 PM |
| 3 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menFor sure. But what if he’s not unemployed, what if he’s a contributor to a leftist newspaper and makes 39$ per month from it. The only reason he can’t support his own life is that capitalism unfairly rewards the extraction of wealth from vulnerable people more than it rewards the articles he writes. This is a pretty extreme example, but you understand my point right? Most careers whose income/salary grant a man a high status are pretty closely connected to capitalism. Either that or it’s some ki… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 02:53 PM |
| 2 | Men complain about being used for resources is the same as women complain about being used for sexThis is very true and I think the symmetry of it also captures how dehumanizing it can be for both groups to be used. Women don't like to feel like an inanimate sex object to be discarded/ignored the rest of the time while someone else enjoys courtship and marriage and family life. And men don't like to feel like a beast of burden or a dog or a slave to be chained up outside between shifts while someone else enjoys luxury and affection and intimacy they're work made possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 08:08 PM |
| – | Do most guys on here even see themselves as people ?Its alienation. It can be alienating to be a man. For just one example, the way people will get jumpy if a man is walking behind them at night. Should one experience like this strip a guy of his humanity? No. But this experience and many others like it, replayed again and again, does wear a man down. Meanwhile we're consuming huge amounts of very vivid human interactions as a spectator thru the internet. Whether it's parasocial relationships, pornography, or even internet forums like this one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 06:43 AM |
| 0 | Why do men think women are trying to share the top men? A lot of women are choosing to be singleThis is the critical thing your post is missing: those women are still sharing. We're not accusing women of being harem girls or sisterwives. We're just talking about the reality of how people are pairing off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 06:17 AM |
| 4 | Why do men think women are trying to share the top men? A lot of women are choosing to be singleMost women aren't explicitly sharing the top men in overt harems. And some women are legitimately celibate. But a lot of women who engage in casual sex, or go thru a series of short-mid-term relationships that they believe are monogamous (and often are indeed monogamous) are effectively sharing the same men. I'll explain the monogamous relationships because it's probably not obvious. If women move thru a series of short term monogamous relationships but the men move from one of these relationshi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 06:14 AM |
| 1 | How likely/unlikely is it to find love as a man?As it currently stands, probably about 50%. 70% end up in relationships. and seems reasonable about 2/3 of them are healthy and "loving" as you describe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/25 06:01 AM |
| 1 | Men should stop listening to women idea of a good partnerExactly. I dunno maybe we misunderstood eachother. But that’s exactly my point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/25 12:28 AM |
| 1 | Men should stop listening to women idea of a good partnerThe analogy is not perfect. No analogy is perfect. But it can help a man who’s struggling with dating to improve. I 100% disagree with you that sexually pure vs sexually fun is just a before and after thing. No guy wants to take his girl’s v-card and now she’s wildly promiscuous and curses like a sailor. You want her to be able to turn the purity aesthetic back on again, in public, to meet your parents, etc. This contradiction of “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” is very close to what w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 09:00 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: why did this "office worker" get more votes than Sydney Sweeney? 77% to 23%Probably a lot of fetishization of asians going on. But aside from that the girl on the right is smiling and looks cute. Men like cuteness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 08:07 AM |
| 1 | Men should stop listening to women idea of a good partnerOk look bud, the reality is that women want the same thing men want; a partner who shares some fundamental goals/values with them, and then changes like a chameleon to be all kinds of contradictory things they need/want. As men, we want a girl who's gentle and nurturing, but we also want her to be fiercely loyal and protective. We want her to be competent and reliable at day to day tasks, but we also want her to be a damsel in distress who needs our help. We want her to be demure and dignified a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/25 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Apparently “Men are only incentivized by what women reward” and “Women shaming/punishing men only pushes them away”.I dunno if anyone is ever going to publish an academic paper examining the politics of sexual partners of women who work in education. So I don’t think I can “prove it”, but inquisitive minds with critical thinking skills will have no difficulty inferring the truth from anecdotes and adjacent studies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/25 04:19 PM |
| 3 | Apparently “Men are only incentivized by what women reward” and “Women shaming/punishing men only pushes them away”.What is the “correct” blue pill answer to your question if you don’t mind me asking? Because I don’t think I said anything odd or radical. Yes female attention incentivizes men in various ways. Yes women are over-represented in roles like teaching, ECE, etc, that have a formative influence on young minds. No the teachers’ husband/boyfriend/hookup is usually not as much of a feminist as the curriculum she teaches. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/25 03:43 PM |
| 4 | Apparently “Men are only incentivized by what women reward” and “Women shaming/punishing men only pushes them away”.Men have numerous incentives, but it should be obvious that sex/reproduction are a big one. Women aren’t responsible for all the evils in the world. But women are currently sending dangerously mixed signals that do contribute to the evils in the world. Women reward a set of behaviours with sex. And then feminism creates programs and culture that narrows the number of men with the rewardable behaviours. A huge majority of young men do not receive the looks or the confidence or the split personali… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/25 03:19 PM |
| 2 | Are Women Really Overlooking Good Men—Or Are They Just Not ThereI think it’s just very hard to be a woman’s version of a “good man” when you’re chronically single. Even if you check all the boxes on paper, you will struggle to be taken seriously. A guy with no dating experience waxing poetic about how family-oriented he is is more likely to give women “the ick” than to win them over. A lot of women just have a very high floor on attractiveness and experience. And this seems to match them with men who are on average “worse” than if you just took the average o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/25 07:35 AM |
| 1 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?Whatever floats your boat I guess bud | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 11:00 PM |
| 1 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?Everyone settles. If your partner is a human, you’ve settled. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 08:38 PM |
| 1 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?She’s sitting here right beside me. I think most people would describe her as a very cute overweight girl. I like her body type and so im very attracted to her 🙂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/25 02:29 AM |
| 3 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?I went on my first date and had my first kiss when I was 36. I thought it was over for me and i think my friends and family were certain it was. But i put in my time on dating apps and eventually met a girl i clicked with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 04:26 AM |
| 6 | Those of you 30+ and are/were single at this age: did you start getting "flooded with attention" the moment you turned 30?I don't have a long contiguous history to compare but I tried dating apps in my late 20s and got virtually no matches. When tried dating apps again at age 36, I got a lot more matches. I sensed that a lot of them were women around 30 who could hear their biological clock ticking. Im an ugly guy with a grotesque birth defect so don't get me wrong these girls were cute, but they weren't the type who ever turned heads. Many had their own abnormality or some other source of adversity/insecurity. I'm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/25 05:03 PM |
| -1 | Men are completely delusional about who their "equals" are.I understand what you're saying and why you're saying it. But do you realize this is basically just kind of a different way to describe hypergamy. Are men and women who are equals by the metrics actually unequal? Or are they equal but human mating behaviour does not occur much between equals? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/25 12:13 AM |
| 12 | What Defines Red Pill?I think red pill has always been about hard truths. The biggest "hard truth" is to what degree do ancient mating behaviours continue to govern human dating/sex in the modern day. This includes the "life is unfair for men" angle, but it's not that life is unfair, it's that life is what it is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 10:17 AM |
| 1 | What ways do you condone women using to choose better?I'm not American so I can't comment on your pdf file problem. How can anyone generalize attraction without "hedging" words? Attraction always has many factors, and any generalization will have many exceptions to the rule. Is every woman helplessly obsessed with violent criminals? No of course not. But we can still note broad trends. Women are drawn to impulsive violent men a whole not more than men are drawn to impulsive violent women; is that fair to say? Or do you have a better way to describe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 10:51 AM |
| 4 | What ways do you condone women using to choose better?I mean men have been told they can’t like women/girls younger than 18 and this clearly was practical actionable advice because outside of a few creeps and predators it worked. If a man did successfully rob a bank on a first date, with credible reason to believe he got away with it, chances he scores likely would be higher than the average first date. You picked an absurdist example so the absurdity gets carried thru the thought experiment. The more typical mundane impulsive/violent behaviour is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 02:46 AM |
| 4 | What ways do you condone women using to choose better?By identifying and supressing the parts of their instinctive mating strategy from ancient pre-history, The same way men are expected to do, and largely succeed at doing. Women are drawn to impulsive often violent men the same way men are drawn to extreme youth/fertility/virginity. In modern society we nolonger need these preferences/strategies, or at the very least we need to soften them a ton. For example instead of pursuing impulsive men prone to violence, women could pursue confident men capa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/25 04:43 PM |
| 16 | My handsome, successful male cousins are getting married to women I perceive as "average". None of them are with beautiful women. This also reflects what I notice in society (not including Hollywood). Am I missing something here?Super handsome/successful men get to pick any woman they want, with no chip on their shoulder to prove they can “pull”. Most of the time the ultimate woman is a low maintenance 6/10 who shares his values and who is and has genuine unreserved fun in the bedroom. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/25 08:05 AM |
| 5 | Wife goggles can definitely exist for some menWait what? Arent these pills more about what you believe to be truth of human behaviour than a prescription of what to do about it / evangelize about it? Redpill has incels, redpill has pick up artists, but redpill also has happily married men with "wife goggles". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: an average or below average looking woman matched with you on tinder. She messages you that she is trying to escape an abusive boyfriend and wants to crash with you in exchange for sex. What do you do?This must surely depend on where you live. What country and what part of that country. But yeah if a woman has no (safe) boyfriend, no family, no friends close enough to let her live with them temporarily, relying on the government and on charity is not going to be all sunshine and roses. I think the point you're trying to make that women can't instantly and effortlessly and go from an abusive relationship to a good one is valid. But with some kind of a support structure they can fairly quickly.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 05:21 AM |
| 1 | Q4Men: an average or below average looking woman matched with you on tinder. She messages you that she is trying to escape an abusive boyfriend and wants to crash with you in exchange for sex. What do you do?Would be very sussed out and assume she and her (not ex) boyfriend were teaming up to rob me or worse. We all pay a ton of taxes to have good police and well funded shelters and stuff. She needs to use them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 02:35 AM |
| 2 | Increasing the female/male sex ratio at birth (more women born) would help fix the dating market.The much higher number of MTF trans people compared to FTM trans people indicates that society is already doing this in a way. I don't think we should tinker with embryos. But yeah, humans evolved to discard more males, leaving us with more females, and this is reflected in our mating behaviours. It's not crazy to think restoring (or even exceeding) the gender ratio of the past might have benefits to both genders. But it is crazy to consider discarding men again thru wars and castration, or tink… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/25 04:00 PM |
| 8 | The majority of Red Pill men are incredibly insecureI mean in the animal kingdom most males of any given species are incredibly "insecure". They're ready to fight and die if another male even enters their territory. They murder babies to get their female mate's undivided attention. It's obviously evolutionarily useful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/25 02:21 PM |
| – | Men who claim women are "boring" what makes them "boring" and what makes you more 'interesting' or 'fun' to be around?I think "boring" is always measured against expensive / high-maintenance. I don't think a woman who pours hundreds of hours into some obscure hobby get's called boring. She's probably fun to be around when she pulls herself away from her hobby, and in the meantime she's peaceful if nothing else, and her lifestyle fits well with men who often pour hundreds of hours into their hobbies. But if a woman's life is just doomscrolling, watching slop on TV, and spending money, a man is going to be hyper-… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 06:14 PM |
| 6 | For women, words are more important than actionsTrue. But just to be clear the meaning of "Conservative" varies a lot depending on where you live. You probably live in the USA; I live in a much more progressive country so our idea of conservative is pretty tame. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 07:02 PM |
| 2 | For women, words are more important than actionsI can only tell you my experience and what I used to see in the kinds of online communities for lonely men that were virulently anti-RP/anti-incel. A lot of guys are just broadly progressive and altruistic, but without the looks or the charisma or extrovertedness for it to naturally place them into good careers and fulfilling relationships. The lonelier and more alienated they become, the more they lean on altruism and "niceness" to give their life meaning, and to remain seen as a "safe" member … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 06:57 PM |
| 1 | For women, words are more important than actionsNope lol. My girlfriend probably doesnt know what RP even is, and if she does she wouldn't identify me as RP. But she would identify me as relatively conservative/pragmatic, which is essentially what the RP is anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 06:15 PM |
| 1 | For women, words are more important than actionsOh yeah there was a window of time where I was RP and a virgin. Everyone has an ideology though. There's a whole lot of guys out there who are virgins, who have an ideology, but that ideology is not the RP. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 06:12 PM |
| 3 | For women, words are more important than actionsPart of how straight women are wired is to find the biggest toughest meanest guy, and make him soft and gentle and kind for her and her alone (and offspring they produce). And I mean tough and mean in both a physical sense and a cultural sense. I'm not saying every woman wants the following, but there's definitely some neuron's being activated: Some angry RP guy who hates how women want men spending money on them....turning into a softy who buys her stuff. This is part of why you're seeing what … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 05:59 PM |
| 5 | For women, words are more important than actionsRP cured my virginity fwiw. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 05:43 PM |
| 1 | As a guy, game is arguably the best thing to invest in these daysThe problem with "game" is only a very rare type of guy can do it without simultaneously seeing progress in looksmaxxing and status. Most guys need at least a little kernel of legitimate confidence, and then they leverage it into a big difference in how they interact with women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 04:04 PM |
| 5 | The Politics of DatingI think the redpill get's unfairly attached/confined to men who are seething mad about the whole thing. I look at supply and demand in the dating world the same way as supply and demand in labor/industry. It can be brutal; some degree of human empathy and academic utilitarianism is a good thing, but ultimately our mental health stays better if the motivations that propelled us thru millions of years of evolution remain largely intact. I'd also like to point out that the way you imply the redpill… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/25 09:55 PM |
| 2 | Are you happy redpillers?I am pretty happy and it definitely correlated to "taking the red pill" as the expression goes. I was kind of a manchild or a neckbeard; I struggled with my career, and I was an adult virgin in my 30s, and probably suffering from undiagnosed depression. I had very strong moral convictions, but no assertiveness about my own wants and needs and goals. My moral convictions mapped roughly onto a leftwing/bluepill worldview. The pandemic lockdowns broke me, because I'd always sort of dreamed of somet… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/25 07:44 PM |
| 1 | Being nice is the bare minimum. Most guys' definition of a good guy usually seems to be someone with basic human decency. Women on average have alot of options compared to the average man, so of course just being a good guy is not gonna be enough.I'm talking in generalizations here obviously. Yes there's exceptions as you pointed out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/25 10:16 PM |
| 1 | Being nice is the bare minimum. Most guys' definition of a good guy usually seems to be someone with basic human decency. Women on average have alot of options compared to the average man, so of course just being a good guy is not gonna be enough.I'm not sure if this is the "redpill" or not because making peace with this actually made me a lot more mellow about this kind of thing but this is just the biological reality of male and female mating strategy in not just humans but almost all animals. Women gatekeep sex/reproduction, men gatekeep longterm relationships and the sharing of responsibilities/labor/status. Boring "nice" guys aren't entitled to sex, and boring "nice" girls aren't entitled to marriage. But the guys like this do gener… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/25 04:52 PM |
| 1 | What are some of the good things you see in dating profiles?A hobby that genuinely seems to occupy a large and positive place in their life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/25 01:25 AM |
| 3 | Q4M: If you only got 80% of your ideal traits in a mate... You would view that as settling, right?This type of question is meaningless because what's included in "traits" is subjective, and men and women answering differently is more like evidence of how they treat this kind of question than of the question itself. In general women won't apply an "ideal traits" kind of analysis to men they are completely disinterested in. They won't mentally assign a score any lower than about 60 or 70%, so 80% is on the low end. Men on the other hand get off on rigidly quantifying stuff that's hard to quant… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/25 06:59 PM |
| 3 | Only unattractive women ask to be choked during sexI think plainer looking people are usually more generous and enthusiastic lovers. That includes kink stuff like choking I guess. But isnt it like common bro knowledge that 10s are for arm candy but its 6s that blow ur mind in the bedroom. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/25 10:13 AM |
| – | What is there to debate?Can you elaborate more? I think I must be misunderstanding you because neither the greater variability in height, IQ, etc, nor the subconscious "backup plan" make any sense to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/25 10:04 AM |
| – | What is there to debate?There are some women like that. But there's also a huge number of women who aren't like that. And then another cohort in a grey area where maybe their taste in men changed over time, but it certainly wasn't cynically premeditated. The male and female brain both run on a bunch of legacy software from our prehistoric/ape past. You have successfully identified one of the unsavory parts of the female mating strategy. A lot of feminists have identified some unsavory parts of male mating strategy and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/25 07:07 AM |
| 3 | How does it feel like to be hit on/approached by a creepy guy?I think what he means is Infatuation. It isnt purely sexual; a guy is much more likely to be infatuated with a woman doing something admirable or relatable. Like for example a nurse, or someone who cares for animals, or someone who shares the same hobbies or the same adversity (disability, etc) as him. It's not "love". But I sort of understand the sentiment OP is getting at. As a guy who's not particularly attractive or charismatic, it feels really bad to have this feeling of being drawn to a wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/25 08:54 PM |
| 0 | All Women Are Essentially Sex Workers” — Tate’s Harsh Truth, ExplainedIn the animal kingdom, the whole purpose of sex between 2 genders is to gatekeep reproduction, and the female's role is to do the gatekeeping. Human society has built upon this dynamic in a myriad of ways. The sex-work industry is one of those ways. But there's a whole lot of other ways too. And they all share some similarities because they all build off of the fact that there's 2 genders. It betrays an incredibly simple mind to not understand humans are wired a certain way vs what all kinds of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/25 03:56 PM |
| 3 | Men who can’t find a girlfriend have simply not dropped their standards enoughDropping your standards is such a terrible way to phrase it. The reality of it is if you're a romantically/sexually inexperienced man, your best potential partner will be romantically/sexually inexperienced (age-appropriate) women. Some of these women are quite pretty, and quite pleasant. But they don't "Appeal to the Male Gaze", because women only learn to appeal to the male gaze from male attention, and she hasnt had much/any. A big problem in our society is that men have extremely refined "Ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/25 04:27 PM |
| 2 | The 25 and younger male generation will be overwhelmingly single and we are lucky because it won’t affect society one bitIf we somehow stay on exactly this trajectory, maybe. But all evidence points to world-changing events continuing to happen. There will be more wars, more pandemics, maybe some AI reckoning as you alluded to, who knows... In the west there will also be the moment our unassimilated immigrant populations either assimilate into the same lifestyle, or surpass the western population due to birth rates. Something to keep in mind is that if this does become normal and unremarkable, eventually we're goi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/25 09:08 PM |
| 1 | What most people call "love" is just emotional attachment.Love is just Lust and Like marinading together for a certain amount of time and thru a certain amount of fun memories and tough adversity. Important to remember "Love" is a weird word in that it's used constantly carrying no weight, but then its also carries the heaviest weight in a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/25 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: do guys want women to be obsessed with them?Not obsessed. Or at least not obsessed all the time. Maybe "obsessed" in the bedroom, but then still give him the peace and space he needs to keep his batteries charged. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Do you or someone you know pay for Onlyfans?I was at a very dark place in my life a few years ago and decided to see an escort. As I was browsing escort ads, they'd all have an onlyfans, and I'd click the link. I ended up subscribing for a month to 2 of them for 7$ each, and spent another about 10$ on there, and then I actually saw one of them for 400$. Have not visited OF before or since. But it made me better understand how and why it makes so much money: A significant amount of it is just local guys subscribing to local escorts and str… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/25 06:03 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: Thoughts on these common dating profile lines?I dunno if any man looks at these kinds of lines and thinks "wow I could really see myself connecting with this woman". You're far more likely to catch a man's attention being candid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/25 06:30 PM |
| 3 | The biggest reason dating & relationships are broken today is because men are comparing themselves to HOT men, mistaking how women interact with them as true measure of attraction, and giving up when their own experiences don't matchI mean yeah. If your girl doesnt love having sex with you, if she's always flaking out on you, if she doesnt give you any grace when you make her mad a little, then she's not really attracted to you and you should be with someone else. I think the problem is just that the supply and demand of partners is DESIGNED (by evolution) for some number of men to be "discarded", and for a healthy relationship with mutual respect to look like the man works a little harder, and has his shit together a littl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/25 05:41 PM |
| 3 | Would you date asexual person?No. And I'm not sure "devalues" is the right word. Asexual people should be dating/marrying other Asexual people. Or else they should try to get what they want from really good fulfilling platonic/familial relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/25 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Why do guys bristle at the notion of a woman deserving princess treatment?In the video it seems like what she provides in return is a chance at a relationship, like she'll answer texts and go on dates I guess. She mentions multiple guys so certainly not any kind of loyalty. In any healthy relationship the "transaction" is just effort/interest for effort/interest, and then as it progresses you add sex, and some degree of emotional and/or financial stability. And it's all mutual. I think when most guys think of an unhealthy expensive transactional dehumanizing relations… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 09:13 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Why do guys bristle at the notion of a woman deserving princess treatment?Because it seems transactional, and not only transactional but there seems to be a currency exchange involved. She seems to want us to convert our dating interest/effort into cash, and then pay her with it. Men feel dehumanized when reduced to money in a somewhat similar way that women feel dehumanized when reduced to sex. When we watch a video like that we feel dehumanized. It's likely a similar feeling to a woman watching some insane Andrew Tate kind of a figure saying "bitches need to suck my… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 03:35 PM |
| 2 | DatingGirls wanting to be called mean names in the bedroom, with someone she trusts, feels safe with, and knows does not mean them ....kind of does seem pretty common. It might be a generational thing. Are you super old maybe? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 05:48 AM |
| 1 | Straight women wanting masculine men isn't any more "hypergamous" than straight men wanting feminine womenI don't lose any sleep over hypergamy but the polling on dating apps is pretty cut & dry if men are rating women on a bell curve centered on the average metric, but women are rating men put a huge peak at totally unattractive and only a small portion of men equal or above the average metric. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 12:29 AM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the worst years to date (as a man)Respectfully, this is crazy. In your 30s you're the perfect age to be dating late20s/30ish women. Some of them have baggage sure, but there's still plenty of attractive women in their late 20s who've never been married, never had kids, and never had a promiscuous phase. Maybe they had a longterm relationship that never got super serious. Or they had something in their lives that kept them too busy to date much, like being a caregiver to ailing parents. Also tho not many, more women than you'd th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 12:21 AM |
| 1 | Men dont understand Sexual Attractiveness and Attractiveness is differentWomen might not date to feel status, but they sure as heck marry to feel status. And yes men "gatekeep" marriage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 03:25 PM |
| – | The female orgasm is a mythI don't think you assign this level of simplicity to other evolved traits and features. There's lots of counter-intuitive things in nature, and lots of things that arent well understood. To name just one, if our bodies are mostly symmetrical why do we have a dominant hand, and why is it more often than not our right hand? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 03:20 PM |
| 0 | Men dont understand Sexual Attractiveness and Attractiveness is differentWhat do average men gatekeep in a relationship then? Maybe you're interpreting "relationship" differently than me. I don't necessarily mean they're refusing to define it or make it exclusive. I mean they're more likely to pump the breaks or set boundaries about how fast/serious things are progressing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 08:49 AM |
| – | The female orgasm is a mythOk but like do you and OP think its a psyop? That women who orgasm regularly are faking most/all of them? I'm not a scientist but I assume its one or both of the following: It was evolutionarily useful for female humans to climax. Since the penis and the clitoris form from the same cells depending on the sex of an embryo, it was evolutionarily useful for some of the function of the penis to be built-in to the cells it develops from and therefore be shared with the clit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 08:39 AM |
| 0 | Men dont understand Sexual Attractiveness and Attractiveness is differentSure, but a - what you call "attractive", and I want to call having high "relationship appeal" - woman isnt necessarily approachable either. She may be seen as clingy or as wedding-crazed. What I'm trying to say is women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep relationships. And the two types of attractiveness you're talking about map roughly onto sex and relationships. And as a result men's and women's experience navigating these two types of attractiveness are flipped. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 03:49 AM |
| 6 | Men dont understand Sexual Attractiveness and Attractiveness is differentI don't think theres nearly as big of a difference between men and women in this respect as you're saying. Both men and women channel their relationship appeal and their sex appeal one or the other or both in all kinds of ways. Early in a relationship / talking phase if you show too much or too little of one of them, you might fumble the relationship. This is true for both men and women; it just plays out a bit differently because typically women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep relationships. Wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 03:03 AM |
| 3 | What would you describe as unreasonable female standardsI could only get to 2/5 and a non-snarky rating by turning every requirement off except unmarried. The core idea is good of grounding people's expectations that 6 Feet 6 Figures 6 Pack 6 Inches all at the same time. But the website was obviously made by weirdos | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 12:51 AM |
| – | The female orgasm is a mythThis is a hilarious self-report. But to be fair aren't there a lot of women who either can't orgasm, or aren't 100% sure the ebb and flow of sensations they feel are definitely full-on orgasms? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/25 12:41 AM |
| 15 | The term “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you” applies to dating. The average man will mostly only have negative experiencesI have a grotesque birth defect and also mild autism and I met my girlfriend on Tinder. I think scarcity of matches makes guys act weird. As an average guy we need to be the most authentic and relaxed. Even if it's our first match in 2 months. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/25 12:22 PM |
| 6 | Red pillers: What would make you change your mind?Or go to a mall. I lean rp but what the other guy is saying and he's not wrong, is that when you actually look at a slice of average couples there are a lot of average looking guys getting laid. On dating apps and social media dating seems wildly out of control. But a ton of relationships are just totally independent of those things, and we have to make sure not to ignore them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/25 09:50 AM |
| 0 | Most men won't succeed on dating appsWomen, much like men, have a "type". You can be a somewhat attractive guy and not get many matches because you're nobody's type, and you can be an ugly guy and get a reasonable amount of matches because your look and your profile fits a "type" women are looking for. Profile reviews are about helping people to show a version of themselves that fits one of these dateable "types". For example, a derpy overweight guy who's a pet-lover and a funcle, with a respectable career, and who is the type of u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/25 06:13 PM |
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