It's hard, I know, but just try. Try very hard, try to think of something other than cocks. Maybe it works. You can start very slowly at first by not thinking about cocks for only 5 minutes a day.
She´ll clearly play the cock roulette until there is nothing left to lose, and at the age of 40 she will say how badly the men treated her, and that she always wanted to start a family.
"I can´t end it" So there´s nothing left to say... just keep your clitoris making the decisions for you. These will surely be wise decisions for your future.
Thoughts? Well, you might find a young bull who gets you pregnant, but while you´re a single mom, he will continue to provide his skills to younger women. And yes, you have missed the boat to start a family with guys your age. The cock carousel simply turned too fast, and you´ve lost the connection.