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Alright_So Archive

View 6 posts and 167 comments by Alright_So on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

This is such a broad question. None in my case. Such a broad question!
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 03:11 AM
1

This playing the eternal victim shit lets us down as men
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 01:38 PM
0

What do you mean be careful? Why do you think I must be young?
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:08 AM
0

Making a sweeping generalization about all women is hardly rational. I married a horrible woman and I know other horrible women exist. Writing all of them off seems like defensive excuse and I feel sorry for all the folks in this subreddit who have been hurt in such a way that they are convinced there is sorting inherently wrong with all women, same as with the women who feel the same about men
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:07 AM
-4

Jesus some of the generalizations on here are mad
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:04 AM
3

Not to oversimplify but change is hard
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:27 AM
2

A few things to consider; -can’t change the past so just own it (sounds like you are doing this already) -can’t change how others will perceive you (though it’s valid to be anxious about it as you get out there again) -can’t read the future and understand how people or yourself might change. Best you can do is set some limits for yourself on what you want from future relationships and what you don’t. -a happy future relationship doesn’t have to culminate in marriage -I’m happily remarried and co…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:50 PM
5

What is your jurisdiction? Hard to comment when we don’t know what law applies where you are
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 06:21 PM
2

My previous wife was physically and financially abusive. I would imagine my current wife would disagree with your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 11:57 PM
0

You don’t know me, or my situation. Your question has a one in three answer for anyone. Don’t pretend that makes you inherently right “Nobody cared about us, we still had to cook not just for us, but for the kids too. We also lost time with our kids and we lost half of our money, and many of us are still paying monthly bills, which is worse than having a death in the family. Nobody collected money for us, nobody helped us. We have been made strong as hell, there’s no challenge we can’t take on a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 09:56 PM
3

I don’t think so
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 09:49 PM
5

I find speaking on people’s behalf like that insufferable. I’m glad you feel stronger after your experience but don’t dare project as if you know the reality for all of us…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 09:44 PM
4

I hope she doesn’t injure or kill others if she has an accident while drunk driving
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 07:19 PM
1

True. But I think it’s important to make a claim for what is reasonable. I know someone who was dating a divorced guy with young kids. His ex wife asked to meet her privately for coffee since she was likely going to be spending significant amounts if time around them. Obviously this was a scenario where the breakup was relatively civil etc.. but I think it’s good that the ex wife asked for this, and think it would be good for OP to ask for it too
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 10:31 PM
3

You would be entitled to respectfully ask to meet him if he’s going to be spending time around your child.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 10:24 PM
2

Don’t blame you for treading carefully, hope it works out
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 01:50 AM
2

Entirely fair concern. What ages are they? Do they have close family in Canada?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 11:59 PM
5

Speak to a lawyer in your jurisdiction to see are there any restraints that can be put in place to stop her absconding indefinitely with the kids. Having the right to dual passports is a huge privilege and I would resent my father for denying me that
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 06:42 PM
3

Ye. I’m going to get tacos now myself just to be safe
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:44 PM
9

The general philosophy that it can bring huge freedom and allow you to set boundaries and rules on what you want your life and relationships to be like in the future
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 01:24 PM
0

Georgia the country or the US state?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 06:03 PM
1

Ok. Wish you well. Sounds like it might be for the best
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 03:19 AM
1

How many times is “every time”, if you’re comfortable sharing?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 03:14 AM
5

a few things at play here. Depending on your jurisdiction it could be critically important as to when you recovered the wealth and when you separated. Do you have a clear date of separation? Did you actually sell at a loss or did the same stocks always in your ownership take a dive and then recover? Do you have statements for the value of the accounts at the time of the separation? I personally wouldn't be interested in reconciliation. My first marriage involved financial abuse whereby I covered…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:44 PM
5

I had a somewhat similar experience. In CA she will need to be resident in one place for 6 months to establish residency and file in that county. We were both living in CA but I had moved to a different county after the separation. I was only able to file in the county I lived. I actually considered filing in her home county because I knew she would make a big deal of it, and sure enough her dickhead lawyer tried to threaten me to have the filing quashed and refiled in her home county (they fail…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 03:53 PM
2

Thanks for the offer
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 06:59 PM
2

What was the site you used?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 02:12 PM
7

Could have been depressed during the marriage, the divorce could have been the kick in the as they needed, they could have faked or developed dependence on you. Can think of plenty of reasons why this might be the case.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 07:27 PM
6

True. Not much gets censored here (within reason) which I prefer, even if I don’t agree with the message
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 01:50 PM
16

Ah ye but this one is fairly at the other end of the spectrum. Both have their inherent biases
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 12:48 AM
2

Yep. Post separation and pre divorce proceedings actually. First go round I wasn’t ready, but after a few more months break I was more enthusiastic I had a clear threshold in my mind on when I would tell people and I was fully prepared to accept it being a red flag for the person I told. Never got a bad reaction actually which I was surprised about.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 06:22 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 10:19 AM
1

Could you share some of those studies please?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:08 PM
2

I spoke to an officer who gave me a case record to show that I had presented myself voluntarily because of my concerns. Sure enough she tried to pull something and her attorney subpoenaed my records at the local police department with nothing to show so her claims were shown up as unfounded. Unfortunately it fucked us both by slowing the divorce but it ultimately protected me
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 12:16 AM
1

I'm not sure for PA specifically but I know a lot of states have blanket restraining orders at the point of filing to protect either party from liquidating assets, taking the other off health insurance, etc... I would strongly recommend not leaving unless it gets unsafe for you to stay. I would also recommend proactively speaking with your local law enforcement if you believe there is a risk you could have false allegations made against you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 08:48 PM
2

If you suspect she might engage in false accusations you could go to your local police station for a chat to voice your concerns. I did that at the start of my divorce and ended up being very glad I did
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 06:48 PM
2

Depends on your jurisdiction but probably not. What is your jurisdiction and have you filed for divorce yet?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 06:46 PM
4

you haven't mentioned what jurisdiction you live in
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:19 PM
5

Textbook gaslighting. Any sane third party will understand that. I can understand a scenario where she might still justify her decision to leave but have the integrity to also acknowledge she has also left her daughters To say she hasn’t is not true based on the detail you have shared here
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:03 AM
11

I didn’t make any generic decision around women in general. My ex took a lot and didn’t add enough so she is now out of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:49 PM
-5

That’s the most low bar paranoia I’ve read in a while
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 07:49 PM
2

What?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 07:47 PM
3

what's your jurisdiction? hard proof should do it. Mind you my ex lied and understated her own income significantly, but it didn't matter since she wasn't awarded support Was annoyed though, wanted to see her perjure herself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 06:42 PM
2

Somewhat. Her work was nuts after a promotion so picked up a bigger proportion of the home stuff. Then I got a promotion but we didn’t rebalance, I greatly resented that, she wasn’t open to rebalancing, therapy etc…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:18 PM
3

Yes. California, female judge. (People on here seem to assume a female judge will side with a woman) It was related to a ridiculous motion to quash service by my wife, actual divorce got agreed outside of court. Motion got denied but I thought it was unfair that my lawyer did not get awarded costs (though she didn’t charge me for it either)
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:02 PM
1

Yes but is there a case filled in both countries?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:10 PM
1

You have a lot of time to think about this and whichever way you decide, you will always be allowed to change your mind
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 02:15 AM
0

I see where you're coming from, no worries. A quick google search gave me this on Wiktionary "When one partner in a relationship, usually female, is awarded by family court exorbitant alimony and/or child support, complete or almost complete custody over the children produced from the union, and so on." Yep, not very comfortable with this being referred to as a type of rape.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 12:39 PM
1

On first view I am speculative of the slapping of the term "rape" on things that are not rape detracting from the awfulness of true rape. Are you comfortable explaining further please?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 12:34 PM
1

I'm not but thanks for sharing your hypothesis.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 10:09 PM
1

You haven’t said where you are, so I don’t know what laws apply
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 05:53 PM
4

I’m not and I’m at a loss why so many on this subreddit are so autocratic about it. Take your time and look after yourself by all means but it’s up to the individual A year might still not be enough for some by the same logic
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 11:23 PM
1

depending on your jurisdiction your filing may have automatically included a restraining order prohibiting this kind of activity. I did my divorce in California and that was the case. If it's the same for you, document all you can
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 03:15 PM
1

Have you filed yet?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:25 PM
2

Thank you, and where in the North America region please? Huge variances even within that
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 02:52 PM
3

What currency and where? That has a huge bearing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 01:31 PM
1

Where in the world are you? Different things cost differently in different places
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 01:00 AM
2

its both
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 01:38 AM
0

I don’t know what jurisdiction you’re in but that’s shit, a very familiar story to my situation. We had similar incomes, I paid for most of our needs and wasn’t able to save much and then she freaked out that I had so little savings and she had some. Stupid me considered the savings in her account shared the same way I didn’t mind paying for everything out of my account. I would second guess myself until we separated and moved out. My costs were way higher renting alone with the same income but …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:33 PM
5

I know nothing about it but "equitable distribution" sounds highly open to interpretation and inherently problematic as a result
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 10:50 PM
2

What’s your jurisdiction?
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 09:55 PM
16

US $10k approximately in California. No kids or significant property, similar incomes. My lawyer charged me flat rate and should have billed me more but my ex pissed her off so much it gave her skin in the game to get one over on her. $4k flat rate, $4k good faith settlement payment and $2kish to buy her out of a small shared investment account I believe my ex ran up about $20k in legal fees from her jackass lawyer putting in stupid claims and letting her believe she was entitled to more than sh…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 02:52 PM
1

Bumble
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 07:44 PM
2

Tax reasons, legal status in a country reasons, inheritance reasons
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:41 PM
9

Verbal abuse is abuse
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 07:27 PM
1

And timing. You’ll find what works for you. I wanted to tell people I was dating early, but still after a little while. There’s a sweet spot between holding back and overloading the person with info early
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 07:42 PM
2

Take your time and approach with honesty. What worked for me is allowing my new partner to ask any questions when they wanted but I didn’t necessarily dump all the details on them unsolicited . Your affairs will likely cause some concern so make sure your explain your reasons for doing it clearly. What happens next will be up to the new person.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 07:12 PM
1

Have you spoken with the mediator?
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:13 PM
1

have you asked her about it? Default concern is understanding, but is there anything specific provoking your worry beyond not knowing about the guy?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 03:10 AM
1

Are you divorced? Are you separated? What's the restraining order or conditions of separation arrangement? Do you have concerns for your son's safety? Hard to advise with this little info.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 02:50 AM
1

The sooner it’s filled the sooner it (should be) done. If she’s procrastinating and avoiding it’s worth going ahead and doing
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 11:24 AM
2

Whatcha do?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 06:00 PM
1

“For me” is the key part of that essay. I find the idea of someone declaring a fixed strategy on how to handle your relationships as obligatory fact for everyone else totally obnoxious If you’ve found out a way that works for you, good for you
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 02:59 PM
1

Go for it
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:58 PM
3

Do it. Get your mickey sticky
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:57 PM
1

What in the name of jaysus ? Is a collection of Reddit contributions your backing for this?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:57 PM
1

Report her to uspis.gov A lot of other commenters suggesting renting a PO Box, which would work, but it seems extremely unfair that you as a victim should incur more cost. What she’s doing is a serious crime and you should report her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 04:04 PM
3

Auntie and niece? As in related?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 09:46 AM
2

I’m not sure where you are but if you and your wife are both willing to state that you didn’t consummate under penalty of perjury and neither of you were coerced into admitting it then that helps a huge amount in most jurisdictions These are huge doubts and concerns you are raising and annulment only remains an option for a limited time. granted I don’t know the full details but I’d encourage it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 06:50 PM
1

look into your eligibility for annulment based on your situation and jurisdiction.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:55 PM
1

Might be a spark-point for a fight. I chose not to ask for that reason. The money would have been significant to me but wasn’t worth the drama
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 01:12 PM
1

Delusion is a widespread thing
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 10:13 PM
1

I'm not sure how long these conversations last, but my preferred approach is to try and set up a date fairly soon after matching. I'm not a fan of prolonged text conversations and they're fairly tough to strike a rapport with someone you have just met. Something low key is often best, coffee etc... A true face to face conversation might give a better chance to hit it off (or similarly discover you might not be compatible)
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 12:31 PM
1

It is. I had a false start trying to put myself out there first. I wanted to, but my heart wasn't in it. Had success a few months later. ​ what kind of challenges have you been having with the apps?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 11:30 AM
2

I don’t think it’s unique to California or even just the USA that employer sponsored health benefits tend not to be allowed to be extended to another adult that the primary policy holder doesn’t live with or have any legal relationship to any longer
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:07 PM
2

I see your response somewhere else in these comments so yes. Likely your insurance wouldn’t have accepted a mid-year change until the divorce was actually final. And purely on a tactical level why cause the noise? My ex and I had each other on different types of insurance from our employers. I decided to get my own health since the provider kept sending my health communications to her address and I wanted privacy and let her know in writing she had my consent to remove me from her contributions …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:05 PM
3

Even if you wanted to keep her on your insurance, I don’t think you could have is the point
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:00 PM
1

That sounds like attorney money, not filing fees alone
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 04:04 PM
2

Depends where in the world you are
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 04:03 PM
5

Depending on the jurisdiction that could be illegal. Certainly is after filing in CA
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 03:55 PM
1

you deleted your original post.....
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:23 AM
2

guys can have different opinions. Don't assume we inherently have the same one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:45 PM
-5

jesus christ. We're here on r/Divorce_Men . It exists. get over it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 03:34 PM
12

don't do it. Calmly hold your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 04:53 AM
1

Not obvious to me I'm afraid. Could you let me know why you are waiting until then? Based on your choice of words and tax reference I'm guessing you might be in the USA, but without knowing your jurisdiction, the advice you get will be limited in how specific it can be.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:56 PM
1

On you go
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/22 04:56 AM
-1

No, I wanted to understand if it was either before or after their marriage, if the group chat hit set up with the three of them altogether or the wife was added later, did the mother of the child agree to the new wife being put on straight up etc... Even if you did fully understand my position I didn’t need you to swoop in and clarify on my behalf, I’m well able to do that myself
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 01:18 PM
0

That was not what I was asking, please don’t assume my question
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 01:13 PM
5

This does appear odd. Do you kind me asking how your wife being included in the group chat panned out?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:19 AM
1

Looks like you just did
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 09:35 PM
3

I was being facetious to suggest that; That a National prejudice may not form a sound basis for firing or deportation That personal life behavior that doesn’t necessarily impact either party’s work performance Even if he gets fired some work visas allow you a grace period to find another job. Even if that doesn’t apply he can leave through his own volition as obliged to and not be “deported” . That would only happen if he overstayed after firing There are a lot or steps and variables for the OP’…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 03:31 PM
0

The United States has a big children getting shot problem. Maybe he should take your kids to Bangladesh for their safety. I’m taking the piss here and can understand your frustration but I’m not entirely sure if his employer (or any employer) can or do treat marital infidelity as a fireable offence.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 04:25 AM
1

Where are you from?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 04:21 AM
1

I’ll look into how to do that, thanks
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 03:40 AM
1

She wasn't rewarded in this case. The judge (female) ruled in my favour and I was well guided by my female attorney. Her crook of an attorney was the only other male party as it happens and he got rewarded by convincing her to pursue spurious things running up a nice bill for himself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 05:44 PM
0

You still seem to be making assumptions about my emotional state. My response to her illegal behaviour is to try to take action in the same way as if I witnessed another crime.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 05:42 PM
2

Thank you, this helps. I think where I might struggle is to prove that she "intentionally" mislead. She was either a very effective gaslighter or completely delusional but she did not consider her cost of living allowance as income (a significant % of her paycheck and very obvious on her disclosure docs) and also didn't seem to think tax deductable expenses were tax credits. Declared almost every asset she took ownership of outside of employment income as a "gift"
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 05:13 PM
2

thanks, that's what I was after.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:42 PM
2

Do you happen to know how I could initiate that please or are you just sharing an opinion on the outcome?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:25 PM
1

I appreciate the congratulations but my motives are not financial.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:20 PM
1

I'd like to understand if there are systems for perjurers to be held accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:19 PM
2

I'm not asking in the sense of upside for me. The civil case dissolution of marriage is closed but my understanding is that perjury is a criminal act. With that in mind I'm curious to understand if there is a mechanism to have the perjury revisited, not the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:18 PM
1

No, I don't necessarily plan to sue her for that exact reason but I was wondering if there is a mechanism for "reporting" perjury or misleading information as such.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:17 PM
0

I've very much found emotional justice already, my interests lie in moderating some behaviour that has historically been damaging to me and ultimately damaging to all (underdeclaring income and how that pertains to tax situations, attempts as civil extortion etc...)
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:16 PM
2

I’m sure that’s the case but that’s not really what I’m asking
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 09:54 PM
2

I'm no longer her client since we're all done. She charged me a flat rate for divorce without major assets or kids which was a good deal for me given the time she ended up spending on it (through the actions of my ex). We were both (attorney and I) aware of the lying but at the time i just wanted to get it done. I wouldn't want to abuse her good will by bugging her about that at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 08:37 PM
3

I do know what it means along with the literal application. I also think you know my intent in using the term. But yes, definitely runs the risk of vindictive backlash!
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 08:36 PM
4

I could look into that alright. Very roughly put, we had similar incomes, she attempted civil extortion (it still bothers me that it only becomes a violation if I had fallen for it), had a failed motion to quash my service and the judge seemed fairly annoyed with her behaviour. She also annoyed my attorney who definitely could have billed me more for the time she gave me had my ex not been a pain in the ass to her also.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 07:41 PM
1

What state are you in? Research civil extortion
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 07:59 PM
-7

Out of the twat echo chamber into the crybaby echo chamber
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 08:06 AM
0

Sounds like the correct choice but did you have to be rude about it?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 03:04 PM
1

Fingers crossed
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 05:02 PM
1

I did send notice of termination, it doesn’t deliver, hence my post
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 12:32 PM
1

I moved out long ago and the lease is month to month after the first year
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 11:23 PM
1

Thanks for the response but I did describe doing that in my post and it has failed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 09:43 PM
2

No worries, thanks for weighing in
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 09:25 PM
1

I see, thank you for clarifying. We are divorced and I moved out some time ago. I'm not sure if that would work if the landlord can't be contacted though right?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 09:18 PM
2

Thanks for the response. Sorry for my ignorance, but what would the protective order do? The lease is unfortunately month-to-month after the first year so if she's still there, there was no, and will be no renewal.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 09:11 PM
1

Did you represent yourself? If there was genuinely questionable stuff going on you would be doing everyone a favour by raising it
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 07:27 PM
1

Any facts to share or just gripes?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 07:06 PM
1

Great example. These things are worth capturing to make sure everything you are relinquishing in the settlement gets accounted for, even if you wish for the other party has it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 08:27 PM
5

Jesus, that’s rough
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 11:39 PM
2

I’m that case it will be up to you to determine the value to you vs the cost. You may learn something but what outcome are you hoping for? I can understand the curiosity, I feel the same about understanding my ex’s mind but for me she’s no longer worth my time
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 04:16 PM
3

Same story, your comments have been removed by the moderator.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:37 PM
2

I did, it has been removed or deleted unfortunately, I can just see the responses.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:25 PM
1

What did you comment?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:20 PM
2

I’ve no reason to believe that’s not the case just didn’t want to recommend someone in Eureka if you’re in San Diego. I used Bagner Law in Hayward, Alameda County. Very no-nonsense
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 08:41 PM
1

What county?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 08:29 PM
3

All relative.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:14 AM
1

ah here, it's the internet! go ahead, there is probably demand for it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:43 PM
3

Good for you. Had a similar situation where the other party's fees dwarfed my own for spurious reasons. (not nearly to the scale of yours though to be fair) I was optimistic the judge would see it that way but I was still nervous until they similarly assigned me zero fees. I can relate to the relief.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:13 PM
2

What jurisdiction are you in? From my experience in California. You can DIY quite a bit if you're in agreement. Do you have minor children? ​ If you have a notarized settlement agreement and the judge sees the agreement as not grossly unfair on either party and is confident neither party has been coerced and pressured you should be able to achieve that. ​ There are lawyers out there who will take a look at your docs for an hourly rate rather than having to pay a full retainer before you submit t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 03:52 PM
1

As in her or my attorney? Not sure I follow, sorry
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 09:04 PM
1

Her paychecks that were submitted showed it didn’t match what she declared. I might have been naive in assuming the court would see that
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 06:08 PM
3

Hoping its a technicality like that. Do you mind me asking if you used an attorney to draft it/ review it before you submitted?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 06:01 PM
3

I really hope not. We earn similar amounts and she understated her income by a significant amount on the declarations. Despite that we are quite similar incomes and assets. I didn't want to fight her perjury in court, just want it done but will absolutely go there if that's the case.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 06:01 PM
1

Should have mentioned our income and expenses were and are very similar. No kids or significant shared assets.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 05:45 PM
1

Is your idea a consolidated finance view similar to an income, asset and liability declaration?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 07:47 PM
1

What jurisdiction are you in? Your living expenses are typically taken into account.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 10:10 PM
3

(CA) I have seen a judge ask for the unemployed party to prove that reasonable attempts are being made to get employment but you may still need to close some of the gap. Lawyer up if you can afford to, might be a worthy investment
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 08:18 PM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/21 11:40 AM
1

Filed 13 months ago However, she did dispute the service and filed a motion to quash against it. The motion was denied (I served appropriately using a registered process server) so she did then cooperate, leading to us drafting, signing and submitting the MSA. So yes, I filed and served well over the minimum time ago but her acceptance of service was less straightforward (in her eyes, not the court's!)
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 07:56 PM
2

Makes sense. There were definitely a number of things that got a pass in my marriage that I decided for myself not to tolerate in the future. I used to tell myself that it wasn't going to be a bed of roses and that some compromise is needed which is true but I have now drawn lines that I am more comfortable with and are fairer to me. Happy to say I have found a much better person who hasn't crossed any so far.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 07:03 PM
2

definitely takes time
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 07:01 PM
1

I hope the existence of despicable women out there hasn't put you both off women entirely, that would be a shame. Letting the wrongs of an ex wife sully your prospects forever let's her permanently win.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 06:40 PM
3

Good to hear. Not sure what jurisdiction you are in but even if she chooses not to cooperate I'm fairly sure there is only so much it can be dragged out before you can have your lawyer make the case for the court to make a judgement. It sounds like you are effectively 100% custody at the moment and I'm sure you love your kids but that is a lot to take on if you would like her to assume some of her share as the fellow parent. And if you want 100% custody (or majority), keep records of as much of …
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 05:21 PM
7

Shit situation. Couple of questions; -Are you planning to file for divorce or remain separated? -Would you like 100% custody?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 05:06 PM
1

gottit, sorry misread your post. Wishing you the best with it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 03:45 PM
1

Is she open to the idea of you buying her out? Not clear from your post.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 02:59 PM
1

Pain in the ass pushing the court date out but this would be my choice, I would want my lawyer present and in good health to represent me with so much on the line
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 03:53 PM
1

-I have the property owner's mailing address. I will write to him by registered mail asking him to call me to discuss the logistics of removing me from the lease since I haven't lived there in over 2 years and my ex has been able to keep up with rent without my involvement. That's the plan
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 11:53 AM
1

The case is settled. We both signed it. The deposit still exists, my name is still on the lease. This divorce is a feature but the lease and deposit issue could happen to anyone who fell out with a former roommate and can't contact a landlord.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 11:53 AM
1

Should clarify that the settlement agreement is submitted to the court pending review with both our signatures, I want to leave that be
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/21 01:00 PM
2

Divorce is a shit-show and there will be fallout. If you've built a life together and the relationship breaks down beyond repair there are going to be really difficult elements of untangling that, even if both sides are constructive and cooperative. ​ If you're staying just for the property, your Dad and the business I would worry you might regret it down the line. If you are not happy something has to change (reconcilliation of some sort or divorce)
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 07:53 PM
2

good luck man, hope you can maintain coverage without too much hassle.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 06:15 PM
2

Well it's enough to make a significant difference to me financially as it happens, otherwise I wouldn't be posting here. Like I said in the post I'll stop pursuing it before I incur more costs than the deposit is worth.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 04:55 PM
2

Is it possible the wording is to avoid overlap/double insurance?e.g; if divorce is finalized 15th November, you can't get on your insurance until 1st December but if you're insured through November you'll be fine?
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 03:43 PM
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