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Always-tolkein Archive

View 3 posts and 93 comments by Always-tolkein on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

My best advice. Give her the space she wants. Wife and I have been separated since February. She was fully checked out, no turning back, constantly looking for places, no longer in love. I got myself into a good therapist, started doing some reading on NVC, hit church, and just focused on myself and the kids. She’s slowly coming back. I was begging daily. And all it did was push her away. I shut up, showed I was safe, and could control my emotions. Yesterday she cuddled up to me in our hammock a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 01:06 AM
1

Exactly! Everything is blame blame blame and no accountability. She may say things like I know Inwasmt perfect . . . Ok so what could you do about that to help the situation? But crickets.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 04:05 PM
4

16 years and not a one. She said I “looked” at her like I was going to when she first threatened to leave me when with our first child out of 4. I’ll admit I’ve said some bad things. Like that she has daddy issues, but when she says shit like that it’s like hmmmm wonder why? Now I’ve gone through therapy, I talk softly even when she puts me down all the time. . . But I’m still so scary.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:28 PM
9

My wife says this same thing. She’s petrified to try to work it out with me because she “scared” of me and “scared of going back to that life”. I was never physically abusive. But because I would raise my voice or “say mean things” I’m some super villain she’s petrified of. And I’m a fucking teddy bear. Never once laid a hand on a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:20 PM
7

I’m in the same boat brother. Fighting my brain every day since a teen. It’s just more intense now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 12:36 PM
2

Personal therapy is great but you have to find the right therapist. My first one I felt like never really listened. And would just send random exercises for me to do that really didn’t help anything. Like she’d tell me to focus on myself but then sent be the “30 day love dare” and it was all stuff to do for my wife. My current one who is a male has really helped me out immensely and we’ve only had two sessions. This last one he kept apologizing for talking so much but the advice given and how it…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:18 PM
5

Yes because I was the one to mess it up from the start. I would absolutely jump in that Time Machine and undo everything I did.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:28 PM
1

Try to keep strong man. I’m just over three months in and I haven’t held faithful to my comment at all. I’m still desperate to try to win her back. I just seen this after talking to her asking if even a sliver wants to work it out. Even if just for the kids and it’s still no no no. I’m losing myself every day over it. I know I’m guaranteed 50/50 due to our work schedules. But it’s just not enough for me. I hate the thought of never hearing “Daddy!” When I come home from a hard day. I just got pu…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 08:28 PM
1

My hammock has become my best friend. Listening to the birds, looking at stars, watching the kids play (when I’m to wore out to play at the time), just sitting there getting that little bit of peace heals so much.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 10:51 AM
3

My number 1 thing I remember in this separation and still trying to show my kids how to properly love is to slow your reaction time. When something is said, even when it stings, pause for a second and think about your reply. Be kind even if she’s not. Make sure you are always thinking about what they see you doing. My son went from asking my wife “Is dad having a bad day and yelling at you again?” To being my absolute shadow through this. They see the things we do . . . Even the changes we make.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 10:46 AM
9

I look at my closet door every night and think about it. Last night it got really bad and my daughter woke up right as I was thinking about it. I went and got her from the bed she was in with my stbx. I love my kids, but yeah man this sucks. Keep your head up and just keep thinking about your kid. They are worth it. I keep telling myself that. Sometimes it’s not enough to keep the thoughts away but it’s been enough to stop me from trying. Keep pushing bro. We got this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:06 AM
1

I’m in the same boat man. I torture myself every day trying to get her back. Keeping a little distance helps me stop doing that, but it’s not always easy. Find distractions. Stop begging. It’s ok to share your feelings, but you’re honestly just pushing her away more. I’ll send you a link for some reading to help. Keep your head up and dm anytime you need someone to talk to. I hate seeing other guys going through the same thing I am.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 03:14 PM
3

My wife and I separated 6 years ago (not this most recent time) and I talked to a girl in that time. Feelings were there but we never got romantic. When me and the wife got back together I know it crushed her. But I knew I wanted my wife and kids home so I ghosted her. I still feel bad for it. And also why this time around I refuse to even think about another woman. I still love my wife and have two more kids now to worry about. So I have zero intention on breaking anyone else like that. I hope …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 02:42 PM
7

When mine told me that I went 5 days no food. Lost a ton of weight and could barely keep myself moving. It gets easier bro. I’m still on that roller coaster as it’s two months in, we still live together, do stuff with the kids together, one day she flirts, the next she’s looking at houses and land. I get constant what ifs and when’s. It’s not a fun time. But brother pick yourself up the best you can. Replace drinking with reading. Going out with church or just meeting a buddy for dinner or lunch…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 02:33 PM
2

Damn that’s beyond harsh. I’m sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 02:56 AM
3

No More Mr Nice Guy was a really big one for me. Opened my eyes to a lot of things.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 02:55 AM
2

I didnt get COVID so I cant attest to that. But I lost 20 pounds in a matter of weeks and just couldn’t eat. Went on a long fasting spell (not really by choice). But I started hitting therapy, church, then gym in that order. Now I’m proud of the weight loss and while my mental health still struggles as we live in the same house it’s much better and kind of turning things around. Do your best to take care of yourself. I know the prolonged issues from COVID may make the gym a little rough but even…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 10:28 AM
1

Our stories are near matching minus the divorce finalization. 12 years married, 15 together with 4 kids. I’m still trying to reconcile even though lawyers and house hunting is in the conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:48 AM
1

Absolutely!
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 04:35 PM
4

If your kids are fighting don’t you stop fighting bro. You said it yourself right there! They see it and they love you! I hate the state I live in. I have hardly any family here and dreamed of all of us moving out of state. Now that the divorce is under way I understand I’m stuck here. It is what it is. I have a decent job, and I know I’ll make it work for them. Stick to your guns. Like someone else said find a different lawyer because clearly yours is absolute shit. I hope it gets better man. I…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:52 PM
1

No problem. That book really did me a super solid. I’ll admit I didn’t read the last chapter because where I’m at in life that’s the last thing I care about. But the rest was really eye opening. Hope it helps!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:41 PM
1

I’ll shoot you the free link I have in a dm. Also feel free to reach out anytime. I may not always have the best advice. But just know you’re not alone in this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:57 AM
1

That all sounds great but be careful. Mine brought me home breakfast after running our son to school. Something that she would always do before the separation. Hell she even agreed to go to my church marriage night coming up tonight. But then turns around and still talks about buying a house, about mediation, lawyers, etc. It’s a constant roller coaster. Remember she probably still has some sort of feelings for you. But it doesn’t mean the war is over. Definitely read No More Mr Nice Guy. And ju…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 07:37 AM
1

I appreciate it man. I’m sorry you’re stuck in this too. I wish I could shut it off easier. Kids help when I’m alone with them. Just when she’s here and I know she’s actively looking at houses brings me right back down. But it’s a process I know that. Just got to try to be strong.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:10 AM
2

Yeah I wish I could be enjoying it. That mental clarity lasted a whole 24 hrs and I’m right back down to the pit in my stomach. I mean I knew it wouldn’t last. But hey it felt good for a little bit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 02:33 AM
5

They exist bro. Go find them. Therapy helped me a lot. Talking about it still breaks me down but just having someone listen and give professional advice helps.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:51 PM
2

Also hiking is great if you like nature. My kids love it too so that makes it much better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:50 PM
1

Music and church have been my two. Two things I loved before we got together. You ever need to vent shoot me a dm man. Can’t do this alone trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:49 PM
1

Exactly what I’m going through. I’m just now trying to end the grieving process. I know it’s still going to sting us being around each other but for now it keeps my kids close and me in my house financially sound. Trust every time I look at her I want to grab her up and love her like I always should have. But she’s not the same woman I fell in love with anymore. I’m to blame for that so that makes it even worse. But just do your best to remain calm. Don’t get emotional with her. Lean on friends …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:44 PM
1

Good reminder I would have never thought about. Luckily my favorite thing to do is take pictures with my kids so I have a plethora with time stamps.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:39 PM
1

Shit. I’m sorry man. That’s rough rough. At this point I’d just rather the housing market crash and both of us get screwed and houses be cheaper lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:25 PM
3

I’m happy about that part. And I know I’m not totally out of the dark. But it’s better than where I was 2 days ago and that’s I guess what matters most.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:15 PM
7

Mine was being desperate to keep my kids around and not being alone. But it’s not worth breaking myself over. I hate it took me this long to realize.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:26 PM
5

Yeah it’s the only way I could see me being able to pay her out. Which is fine. I’d be able to take the other half and fix up the house. But going from a 3.25 to a 6.5 is super shitty feeling. But it’s one of those things that is what it is I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 04:06 AM
2

Yeah I hate where I live and always begged my wife to move. Now that we are separated she said “Hey you can finally move away like you always wanted to. . . “ and do what? Be a Disney dad for a couple weeks? Yeeeeeah fuck that. Stuck here for life now but I’ll have my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 11:43 AM
5

Well damn learned something new. I’m the dumbass that doesn’t want the divorce. But I don’t want to pay to keep it going. She calls legal aid today. No telling what that will change.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 11:08 AM
9

I keep seeing divorces lasting years. Is it them fighting for marital property or child support that makes them last so long? What stretches it out so far? My stbxw thinks we will have this done in a matter of months. But I feel like it’s not going to be that easy. Even if I give in to what she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 07:27 AM
2

I feel like I’ll feel better when I don’t have to see her every single day. But it’s hard to move on when we are stuck in the same house together all the time. Right now though, it’s fucking mental every single day and I’m losing it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 08:21 AM
1

I wish women would see it this way. My stbxw thinks if they see a happy mom that the divorce won’t affect them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 02:11 AM
3

I feel this is how I will be. I’ve been pretty down and out. Gym and other distractions help. I keep my emotions in better. But I’m still absolutely miserable. And I’m merely a little over a month and a half into separation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 11:54 PM
1

This right here as far as social media goes. It’s absolutely poison and it shows you everything you don’t need to see in that moment. I in weakness redownloaded Facebook and it’s about put me into a mental institution (not literally but damn it’s bad).
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 11:26 AM
3

I needed to read this. I was doing good. Church and therapy. And crashed out hard today. I’m trying to keep my emotions in check but being around her all the time still in love with her while she’s completely checked out is fucking rocking me. And then I have to try to hold it together in front of the kids. It’s been a month, and I’m losing my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:40 AM
3

I want to be able to not feel like this. I wish I could shut it off as easy as she does.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:12 AM
3

This is me. And I admitted the fact that I’m the one who trashed it. My wife and I are still living together one for legal reasons for myself, but two because I do love her and hope she sees the changes and consistency. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last month and am applying it to my daily life. Give her the space she needs. Don’t smother her or love bomb her with gifts. Read “No more Mr Nice Guy”. That book opened my eyes up to so much and really helped me learn how to reflect back …
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 09:23 PM
1

I feel that. In Ky and we’ve had a rough one that locked us all down together as this was unfolding. The seasonal depression doesn’t help. Hoping for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 10:57 PM
4

I’m in the same boat brother. And trying to save it. My whole life and mentality have flipped upside down. Don’t let it get you down too much. You still have to learn to love yourself and take care of yourself so that no matter the way it goes you will be happy in the end. Find distractions if you can. Healthy ones. Reading has really helped me when I’m down and wanting to flip through my phone. And right now, social media will be your enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 09:36 PM
2

That’s pretty much how I broke it down to her. I know I wasn’t perfect but I broke my back to get us here. I’m not wanting to start completely over at 36. Told her if she gets to the point that being around me is unbearable she’s welcome to leave to her mom or somewhere else until everything is resolved. But I don’t want this divorce, so I shouldn’t be forced to leave my home as well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 01:30 PM
1

I think she understands more after we talked last night. It was actually a good night I felt like. She feels like I’m trying to make life hard on her and I told her that’s not it. If we find a way to make it to where she can have the house but I’m not wrecked financially than fine. Told her when we sit down we will compromise, get it all down in writing, and go from there. Old me would have made this harder on her. So I get her fear. But this is three kids later. I won’t let my babies suffer. An…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 11:50 AM
1

Yeah I got my taste of that tonight. And while I know it hurt her I think she finally understands this isn’t just going to go like a break up. I have to protect myself and be able to live.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 04:11 AM
2

Damn man that’s rough. Did the abuse make it any easier for you to leave? I’m glad you got out of that. She wanted to do therapy once and I kept blowing it off. I wish I had. Could have saved years of issues. I asked if after I start for a couple months if she would join and she was hesitant. But that’s ok. At this point I’m going to be ok no matter what. I refuse to let it go any other way.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 04:07 AM
2

I can admit to not being the best husband over the years. But I had been working on myself and felt we were having the best last couple years of our relationship. But I still hadn’t quite hit that mark for her. I have a tendency to snap off when I get angry and sometimes honestly not remember it. So while I was thinking I’m doing good I was still making her feel bad. And she says she’s just tired of not being fully happy that 15 years was long enough. I understand. I just don’t want to fail my f…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:03 AM
2

My house is way too small for that. I’m having to sleep in my girls room lately. But we have them a queen size bed so it’s no different then them coming into our room. I told her tonight dependent on who had to work the next day could get our bed unless both then honestly I’ll just be kind and give it to her for now. Stand my ground, but I don’t want to be a dick either. I do still love her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 02:25 AM
2

No she’s been faithful the whole time. She’s changed her tone a little tonight after my attitude change. At first it seemed like anger. But now she’s trying to joke about stuff and talk about “Ifs” more rather than “whens”
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 02:23 AM
1

And I absolutely plan to be. I hope this high I’m on from today sticks. But I know it’s not going to be constant. I have to try to look away from her all the time to keep my head straight. It sucks. But I know I’m doing this for the right reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 12:39 AM
3

I was honestly not a good husband until recently or so I thought. She stuck it out with me through cheating early in the marriage. And while I became faithful I still had a lot of issues. I could snap and say something mean like “Why can’t you do anything right” or “Why don’t you just listen” she says I mentally abused her by putting her down. But I’ve never ever said anything vile like she was ugly or anything like that. She’s gorgeous. I’d always tell her how gorgeous she is and how good of a …
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 12:29 AM
3

This sadly isn’t the first time we’ve come this close. She left before and thinks she shouldn’t have to this time. Last time I went for one of the top lawyers. If it comes to it I will again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 12:17 AM
3

She keeps swearing she wants to avoid that but I was like I’m not going to just give it up and screw myself over. She thinks because we didn’t have the best relationship that I should just willingly give it to her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 11:54 PM
3

Going through it right now man. And I’ll tell you the advice I got in my post. Life changing. I took my kids out and just thought about myself and I feel like a whole different person. I’m excited to start therapy and working on myself to be who I need to for my kids. I know you said this is your second time. You survived one, you got this too. Head up bro. We are all in it together.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 11:34 PM
1

I agree but I will say I did put her through the wringer for some years. Started working on myself but it wasn’t enough fast enough. And I can’t fault her for being unhappy with me. I was just blindsided because I guess since I wasn’t as I was before I felt we were doing good. But I have lingering anger issues I need resolved. I still don’t think that’s reason enough to leave my house though. She thinks I’m trying to screw her over. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t get screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 11:17 PM
2

I noticed that last night. I asked if she was just trying to find a way to get me out. That’s when I realized keeping my head cool is smart so she has nothing to use if her minds ever shifts to vindictive. I know it will happen when I ultimately tell her I won’t leave.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 08:42 PM
3

Man thank you for that eye opener. Years? I didn’t think that possible. I doubt we will make it that long just due to size of the house. But if she wants to go she is welcome to. I know I have a place to raise my children. If she wants to stay she’s welcome to. If she sees the change great. But if not I’m now preparing for the worse. But to find happiness in it too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 07:32 PM
1

That’s always been a goal and I always had it stuck that it meant making it through anything. But now I know that they need to see happy parents not parents forcing themselves to live in misery. I need to realize that even though I love her, I wasn’t always happy either. If she sees the change and she wants to try again I’ll be happy. But I want to be happy on the other hand too. So I will prioritize that and my children to the max.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 06:06 PM
8

Damn bro I’m 36 and that’s literally almost the same exact situation. But I can’t leave. I refuse to. If she wants to she’s welcome to at this point. But that means the kids stay here and she won’t do that. So after the advice from the other men in this post I’m lifting my head up, I ate some yogurt, and I’m ready to get going on to a better life. Read through them bro. They made me a different person in a matter of 5 hours. I know I’m not anywhere near out of the dark. But now I have a resource…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 05:32 PM
4

Fellas, thank you so much for all the advice today. I’m about to get the kids out of the house for the day and try my best to enjoy it. Thank you for picking me up by my bootstraps. Between every single one of these comments and finally talking to my dad I feel quite a bit different than I did 5 hours ago. Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll be in this sub daily. I hope one day I can give the advice you all have. An immense amount of respect to all of you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 05:19 PM
1

Yeah this post has really woken me up. I’m about to try to eat. I know now I can do this. If this many other great people can. I know I can. And I can do it the right way for my kids. Who knows maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll see. But if not I just want to be able to walk out head high knowing I did the best I could for my family.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 05:16 PM
1

Thank you so much! I’ll def try the calculating too juuuuuuuuust in case. You guys are awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:57 PM
2

I swear every one of you needs to be sainted because you saved a mfer today. I know I don’t need to worry about her but I can’t help it. Call me a bleeding heart but no matter what I’m not going to be able to shut that off. But I’m ready for the road ahead. Im ready to love the person I see in the mirror for once in my life. I’m really glad I made this post.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:56 PM
2

Exactly what I just texted the wife. Let’s leave the kids out of it. I’m getting my head on, let’s just do whatever we have to do without including them for the time being.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:45 PM
1

I mean this dude is a bum who doesn’t have a functioning car and lives with his mom. She’s never even lied to me throughout our relationship. I’m fully ok with admitting most of our issues, we’re on me. Why I know I need therapy. But honestly if that was the case, it would probably just make things easier for me. I even told her that and she called me crazy. I just never was able to get myself under wraps. I should have done therapy ages ago. I waited till it was too late.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:38 PM
2

I’m locking that advice in.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:25 PM
1

Thank you seriously! You guys really pulled me up today.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:24 PM
1

Yeah that’s why I kind of had to put my foot down about the house. And I don’t want to move out anyways. I worked my ass off for this house. And also I’m not ready to not come home to my kids every day. But she also swears she doesn’t want child support. But that’s what a lot of women say and then it ends up back firing. So if we go full divorce and one of us moves out I will tell her we need to get that figured out first. I don’t make but about 10,000 more a year and carry full health insurance…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:23 PM
1

Yeah my initial fear was a coworker of hers. She’s never been unfaithful even when I have and she is set in stone she just wants to be happy. I’ve not been the easiest of husbands. I can admit that. But that was 10 years ago. She had three more kids with me since, we bought a house, etc etc. Not an excuse but certainly not what I would figure to divorce over now. Things were great when they were great but bad bad when bad. We have a very stressful life with the kids as well as both working full …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:16 PM
3

The distance is the hard part. Six people in a 900sqft home. And when she’s next to me I just want to grab her and I can’t. So when she’s here I slip so fast. But I’m going to keep this post in standby and come back to it every time it starts or I’m not staying busy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:09 PM
2

I guess I’m just scared of being the bad guy to everyone else. But honestly I’m already used to that. But one thing is I will not let myself get financially ruined if I can help it. And control my emotions so I don’t give her ammunition.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:07 PM
3

I’ve def come to realize this. I know when she’s home later I’m going to think differently. But I’ll come right back here to all of you guys and read these comments again and again. I’m up trying to force myself to eat and have a day with my kids. She can hang out by herself for a little today.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 04:05 PM
1

You are 100% right. Thank you. Swear you guys have really helped me out of the dirt this morning.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:30 PM
1

I’ve been telling myself this today. It’s going to be hard. But I’m going to try. I’m going to take my oldest to hang with his friends and keep the kids out all day. She wants to be alone, I need to stop trying to kiss her ass and do everything for her. Since she said this I’ve been fixing up the house (finally back on days and having some time to), taking care of cooking, cleaning, and wrangling the kids constantly so she can study. If I need time, I’m going to take it regardless if she is busy…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:29 PM
1

My biggest fear right now therapy wise is all the available therapist were women. And I don’t know how well that will go.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:26 PM
1

When I said this morning that when it comes to the divorce that we need to look into selling the house. She then gave me “Well then I’ll just go get a two bedroom apartment and sleep on the couch so the kids can have rooms “ . . . Well I’m sorry? Weren’t you kind of expecting me to do that?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:25 PM
3

That’s my fear. We are about to clear our debt out. But I’m still left with 30,000+ in my school loans and now I have to try to find a place to have my kids? Get out of here. I’m going to do my best to not ruin myself financially anymore than I already am.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:22 PM
1

I think that’s where I came to last night. Still no desire to eat. But at this point I’m tired of crying and just being told how horrible I am. Especially when I thought we were having the best year of our relationship. But last night the fight was so bad (not physical or anything I grew up watching that and refuse to ever get to that point) and it happened in front of the kids so I think that’s when I put my foot down and came to the realization I have to try to move on. If she sees the change …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:20 PM
3

Custody is a no brainer. Luckily my work schedule while being 12 hr swings makes it to where I’m off half the year. When it comes to custody she really has no choice but to go 50/50 or else she can’t work. We never had a village. My mom was really the only help with the kids. Otherwise I’d pull 24 hr days to make sure she can work. I’m def not doing that anymore when whoever moves out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:05 PM
1

Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:02 PM
2

First therapy session is Friday. I hate that I’m having to do it. But I know I have to fix myself no matter which way it goes. Thank you so much for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:02 PM
2

Thank you. It really helps seeing so many others having to navigate almost the same exact situation. As sad as that is to say. But nice to know I’m not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:17 PM
1

I’ve got an appointment Friday with a therapist. That’s still some days away and every day I feel like I’m losing myself more and more. I’m really glad I found this Reddit. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself. It’s hard though when social media blows up the fairytale stories of saving the dying love and all that. Gives me so much hope. But then I get home and it’s just shattered and I feel like I start over every time. Thank you for the solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:48 PM
4

Yeah when I saw your post I was like man this dude is on my same level. I’m lucky I’m still at the house. But if I leave with my work schedule every other week I’ll hardly see them. My boys are older I know they will be ok. But my baby girls, I don’t want to think about them crying for me at night and I can’t be there. That rips me apart every time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:22 PM
1

I wish I had it in me. My problem there is I hate myself. I have for so long. And still loving her so hard I just want to make her happy. But her happiness is killing me. She says she knows she’s being selfish but she wants to finally be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:20 PM
2

Nah she works full time. Makes about around 1200 less than me a month though. She says because of that I’d be able to save up easier and so on and so forth. I get that in a small sense but that’s still crazy with the housing market. I suggested if it finally came down to the divorce maybe we just sell and split and she immediately got attitude. Like how are we not even supposed to try to find a half way point. Being the one still in love is ass.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:00 PM
1

I know bro. I can’t sleep. I’ve gone from 169 on Tuesday to now 158 today. I can’t stop crying. I’m losing my mind over not being with my kids every day and losing the house I put work into. I’m so lost right now I’m fucking scared. I expected it the first time. But we’ve built so much since then and it yeah bro it fucking sucks. But shit we’re in this together man. We got this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 11:57 AM
1

15 years and I’m starting this journey now as of 5 days ago. Last time we separated 5 years ago I went off the deep end bad. Slept around, was drinking constantly, suicidal. It did no good. I finally got my head on my shoulders and we started taking the kids out and eventually rekindled. Try to keep your head up brother. Do what you have to for your kids. I’m trying to remind myself this now as she is wanting to leave me again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 11:46 AM
6

I’m having this feeling right now. And it’s not even been a week since she told me she wants the divorce. I can’t eat or drink because my stomach is so knotted it just feels full. I’ve gone from 169-160 in a matter of 4 days.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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