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AlysArria Archive

View 0 posts and 144 comments by AlysArria on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

It's a common radfem insult. Or at least only really said by radfems. I've been called a blowjob pig just for saying I'm a straight woman. The idea of pleasing men is anathema for a radfem.
/r/MensRights20/06/26 08:39 PM
4

Speaking from my own perspective, I am a woman that works at decently large (250~ people) company that works in one office building. I work for upper level managers, you can call me a secretary or support staff. Some of these managers deal with HR complaints directly, and we've always had sexual harassment and such cases get kicked up because of legal issues and the seriousness of them. We push people pretty hard to speak up, report, file anything, submit informal complaints, because there's a b…
/r/MensRights20/06/26 08:36 PM
14

The "neutral point" of gender relations and debate is pretty skewed. For example, it's misogyny to debate against the wage gap, but it's fine to be casually hateful towards men.
/r/MensRights20/06/26 08:18 PM
2

Ironically, there is a movement in trad women's spaces to reclaim The Handmaid's Tale. It's a popular read, not because we see it as a warning but because we see how some parts of it would be great. The anti-feminist reading is growing in popularity.
/r/MensRights20/06/26 08:15 PM
–

Look, I think you're being somewhat unfair here. Women aren't out there conspiring to hurt men, and most of the time when a girl isn't straightforward it's because she genuinely doesn't know how to handle the situation without making it worse. The safety concern is real, you can't just dismiss it because you personally wouldn't hurt anyone. Women have to navigate a world where they genuinely don't know which guy is going to be fine and which one isn't. However, I realize I am not addressing your…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:59 PM
1

Being honest, you've out-debated me, and I'll admit that. Your point about the double standard is strong: if statistics are going to be used to shape how women view men broadly, then those same statistics should work in the other direction, too. It's not purely emotions-vs-facts, what you're really pointing at is a consistency problem in how data gets used, and I should have engaged with that more directly. Your points there were really strong and I didn't have a good counter-argument. That said…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:43 PM
1

I agree with a lot of your points, of course. why does what she say means more than defending yourself against something that's not right? Without knowing her actual feelings and position, it's hard to debate this. What I will say is that, a relationship is bigger than two people. To keep it going, you have to cherish and respect each other's emotions, feelings, and love. You have to communicate honestly, openly, with the intention of fixing the problem and making sure no one gets hurt. The mome…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:24 PM
11

But a large amount of men do those things, so women have to be careful. Saying it's irrelevant lets me know you are on the side of men who do those things and you don't think it's a big problem. It's a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:14 PM
2

Well, you're really making two arguments here. Trying to apply a study to an individual is not great, because studies are tracking very large trends in society and can't speak to one person's experience. That has nothing to do with "emotions > facts," but that statistics can't explain everything and can't override someone's truth. Sexual assault might be uncommon, but it does happen. Telling someone "sexual assault happens less than you think" when they know someone it happened to, or it happene…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:08 PM
1

You got downvoted for this, but I do want to say I find it rather inspiring and largely agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:58 PM
2

One thing I'd avoid is that statistics are not facts. There can be a lot of issues in how a survey or study is conducted, and these statistics can be manipulated in various ways. Or, they can be misinterpreted and their results flattened. If you wield studies like this like they are clear factual reality and use it to brush away someone's lived experience, of course it's not going to bring someone comfort. You are casting doubt on something someone really experienced. "I don't play video games a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:51 PM
20

It is disgusting when a man randomly gropes me, a man on the street randomly comments on my buttocks, or men openly talk in public about fucking women hard. It is not disgusting when my partner flirts with me, when I'm on a date and a man is complimenting my body, or when a man I am texting with talks sensuously sexual with me. The simple truth is we find repulsive behaviors repulsive. The first list is repulsive, the second one is not. I love when men flirt with me, but I have to feel SAFE and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:17 PM
22

Yes, sexual harassment is repulsive. You have deeper issues if you think that sexual harassment is the same as male sexuality. Not all men sexually harass women, not all men comment and flirt at us inappropriately. But it is clear you think it is OK to do those things, and you think we should just "get used to it."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 05:57 PM
1

I am traditional, so in my case it's a "man who acts like a man." They should confidently make decisions and choices and pursue their interests and ambitions, knowing they have my full support, submission, and encouragement. They should be able to walk into a social situation and handle themselves well. I'm not expecting tons of extroversion, but it should be clear he's a leader in our relationship. Not someone who frequently and loudly complains, not someone who defers to me and just wants to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 05:42 PM
–

Stay at home, no hesitation. I couldn't care less about being a career woman. Being devoted to my husband and serving him at home is my life's goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 06:46 AM
1

I could not do it. I am deeply traditional. I've had some dating scenarios unfold in which the man put up a front of being able to be a provider, protector or leader only to dial it all the way down, and the result is me leading, deciding, doing everything for the relationship. That results in a severe loss of attraction for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 06:42 AM
1

These are the traits I want to bring to a relationship. There's nothing wrong or shameful about being submissive as a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 11:23 PM
2

I am a fairly traditional woman, and I chose not to vote, for a few reasons, but one of them is that neither side truly represents traditional values. Republicans pretend they do, Democrats don't even try. That being said, the Republican party is more patriarchal, with leadership roles going to the men. So of course they get blamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 11:22 PM
–

That is quite interesting. I hope it works out for you just the same!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 02:13 AM
–

A lot of things aligned for us--the time to meet repeatedly, living relatively close, and knowing we had powerfully aligned interested very early on. I am as shocked as you, but I am happy with what I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 02:03 AM
–

Thank you! And good luck to you as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:56 AM
–

Entirely a lucky coincidence, the server was all across the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:53 AM
–

Thank you. I agree, that tends to be what I see as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:52 AM
–

It turned out we lived about 2 1/2 hours away from one another, which made this very doable. I moved in with him shortly after we were engaged.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:52 AM
–

It was about 85~ people when we met through it, and (sadly) shut down about 2 months into us meeting. I am unsure what happened, it was gone one day out of the blue, but I know there are others out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:48 AM
–

This is mostly a celebratory post. I (27) married (38M) a man I met several months ago. We met through a traditional values Discord and had quite a number of things in common. We had a number of very traditional dates and then became official. Not long into that, we were engaged, and rather recently married. This as a whole took about 5 months, start to finish. We were stunned to see how much we had in common, what we valued, and what we were willing to compromise on and make work. Just wanted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:46 AM
3

Most people don't understand what they want in life, ever. They go through life wandering and still aren't sure. Women are the same way, just like men are. They might have an idea of what they want, but they don't really know. Chemistry also trumps everything else. If two people click, most preferences no longer matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:26 PM
2

I completely agree. I am a traditional, submissive woman, and I expect dominance from my man. That does not mean I want to be insulted, berated, and slapped around. For the most part, this isn't even the sexual aspect I'm discussing, but, You can hold the power and dominate a relationship without being abusive. This aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:25 PM
1

It certainly isn't. Mostly, I'm referring back to the "evil cabal" comment. I can certainly believe a group of feminist researchers would develop a domestic violence policy, push that policy, and then through further research and critique we discover the policy has major negative aspects. That happens constantly throughout numerous fields. I would hesitate to expand that to "all feminists are awful when it comes to male victim domestic violence," because even I personally know feminists who had …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:18 PM
1

Generally, I avoid falling into easy mental shortcuts like this. It's much easier and simpler to say "all feminists bad," much harder to separate from black-and-white thinking and judge situations, laws, people, and so forth on a case-by-case basis. As de Tocqueville once said, "general ideas are no proof of the strength, but rather of the insufficiency of the human intellect; for there are in nature no beings exactly alike, no things precisely identical, nor any rules indiscriminately and alike…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:04 PM
1

Just because they do it, does not mean I have to do it. I can control myself, but I can't control others.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:02 PM
1

I mean, plenty of women find this distasteful and beneath them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 02:19 AM
2

I see. I personally avoid an "us vs. them" mentality. There is no movement in the world that is flawless, but there are always bad people, bad laws, and horrific mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:36 AM
1

I too would be concerned if I had a partner, and we were serious enough to move in together, and they had a hidden bag prepared in the event they felt they had to just leave and get away from me. I would be concerned why they didn't trust me. I could easily see someone breaking up with someone else for this reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:34 AM
5

Any reasonable person agrees with OP's perspective. Just a casual read of this subreddit shows people routinely making massive, unfounded, sweeping claims about issues they are only tangentially familiar with. People will find online evidence, completely misunderstand it, and then use it as ammo in their crusade. There is a large percent of people who are, for lack of a better term, too far gone--they are so immersed in the "gender war" that they believe all of their misery is caused by the oppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:30 AM
2

I am not a feminist, but I am curious about this stance. Are you implying that feminists somehow shut down all attempts at male support, and somehow took all the money and wrote all the policies in a deliberately anti-male way? You depict feminism as something of an evil cabal here.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:18 AM
7

I'm a trad woman and I constantly get challenged, especially by other women, on this subreddit. I also praise men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:08 AM
1

Many people are not content to live their lives, and instead must convince others who they have deemed as wrong. Not only this, but many people keep reliving the same arguments they had years ago with new people, without trying to listen to hear. You've likely seen this before: Person A has a stance, Person B responds, Person A responds but it's not a direct reply, it brings up unrelated new issues and Person A continues to argue against a position that's similar but not the same as Person B's p…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 01:00 AM
–

We will never be entirely equivalent, and attempts to enforce that will always fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:56 AM
1

In general, people are attracted to successful partners. By "patriarchal traits," do you mean traditional masculinity? In my case, yes, I am attracted to those traits, but I also am traditionally feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:46 AM
1

Most people do not want to admit that if you teach a whole generation, both sexes, to pursue their career by any means.. you are going to get a generation that does just that, while neglecting marriage and family. And every statistic shows that. Nations with more traditional roles have not had a drop in birth rates, despite any economic situation. The role of men hasn't really changed, but the role of women has.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:14 AM
-1

I do think the option for careerhood should exist for women, but the default path should be motherhood-oriented and traditional. There was a reason why women didn't go to college or take a career initially, and it's not simply misogyny. For interest, finishing schools are virtually unheard of now, but used to exist in much greater numbers specifically for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:14 AM
0

I partially agree with this. I think there is no source of learning for traditional feminine values or womanhood, and that women taking that option are largely shamed or seen as lesser. After college, I had to teach myself common domestic skills and refocus myself to prioritize a family over my career. This included unlearning a lot, namely that submission to the man isn't shameful, and that there's nothing wrong with aspiring to be a dedicated, dutiful stay at home wife and mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:04 AM
1

I am largely a woman who prefers traditional roles and dynamics, so we should be in agreement on our principals and ideals. Hobbies can vary. But we should be quite opposite on our role. So we should want the same things. We should share things, such as being polite, respectful, classy, educated. But of course, he is the leader, I am the follower, he is decisive, I am an advisor, he sets the standards and expectations, I obey and adhere, and so forth.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:00 AM
9

Dating apps are not great. Community centers, volunteerism, faith centers, and adult interests that aren't drinking and partying will find you a good woman far quicker than anything else. Events like runs and cleanups and such. General social skills, a friendly nature, dependability and forwardness will go a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:38 PM
1

It should not be. I dislike the mindset it is. For most, it's a trust issue, but everyone should live by "trust, but verify."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:08 PM
1

Most people who actively contribute to this subreddit have a very distorted view of the world, coupled with an inflated but also fragile ego. They are convinced they are rational and have some sort of deep insight into things, but are in reality intensely trapped in a depressing fantasy world. Only the unintelligent or deranged think they can make sweeping claims about millions upon millions of unique individuals, but people do it in here all the time. When you are blaming society for your miser…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:47 AM
1

Incel is very much a specific community, and is rarely if ever used in its generic form. You know this, why attempt to disagree and then go off on a weird tangent? Your persecution complex is absurd and you know you are wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:42 AM
9

I personally know more than a few men who maintain they just want "one good, loyal woman" but will sabotage the relationship when they get one, either by cheating on her or failing to commit because he still wants to "get around" and have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 11:26 PM
2

Blaming anyone other than yourself when you have the power and means to increase your value is weak behavior. You can't control the actions of others, you can control yourself and understand the life that fate dealt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 10:50 PM
1

To me, an incel is a (usually) virginal male who has hateful views towards women, who blame their problems on women. They do not respect women and think women should be slaves. This is for instance not the same as a traditional man who believes men should be the head of a household and that a desirable woman is feminine and submissive and prioritizes her husband. May also include a desire for her to be a stay-at-home. It's also not the same as a redpill man who generally does not view relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 07:40 PM
–

This is a good answer. OP is implying a marriage, my guess, because I don't know many women who would want to be financially dependent prior to marriage. Marriage itself is a major commitment and comes with it a slew of expectations and requirements. Assuming that scenario, it's more than love that keeps a marriage together, it's holding up both ends of the agreement. As I like to say: my loyalty would be guaranteed, regardless of my love. And if I have fallen out of love, I would work with my p…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 04:43 PM
0

A hobby acts as a filter. A man who is only in it for the chicks gets filtered out by the fact hobbies require effort, time, and commitment. Show up to a book club having not read the book, only looking for women, and you come across as an uniformed loser. Join a hobby you care about and you make a much better impression, and are more likely to find a woman who has something in common with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 12:43 AM
9

Most people are lazy, useless losers. I think women just seek traits like ambition, strength, drive, and nourishing hobbies in their partners, so it stands out to them more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 12:39 AM
3

Online and long-distance relationships move in slow motion. The chemistry that can develop in a handful of in-person dates takes months online. It's completely natural not to feel a strong pull, and that's not something you can discover until you meet them in person. Part of your role as a woman who is dating is to be discerning, to judge and vet men. Give them a genuine, honest chance, but don't let things slide and don't let them abuse your good faith and trust. It's fine to know what you want…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/23 04:48 PM
3

Submissive means surrendering a degree of power and focus to the other partner. It means prioritizing their well-being, health, and goals over my own. It means modifying my behavior to pro-actively assist them, and to be responsive to their needs. It doesn't mean completely subjugating or eliminating my own needs, but it means making them the priority. In exchange in a situation like this, the dominant partner has essentially taken responsibility over me--they have a role to play as well, which …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 07:27 AM
6

Speaking as a woman who strives to be submissive, loyal, and feminine, and who wants to be a SAHM and is making strives towards that, there is a big difference between being an economic slave, or bang-maid, and being submissive to a man who is the leader and provider. A husband and wife should have an emotional, loving connection, and the assumption of power over another comes with responsibilities. If a man really wants a slave for a wife, then of course he's a red flag. EDIT: Interesting how m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 07:20 AM
–

I continued on in good faith, but it's evident you simply wish to insult me and argue in bad faith, whilst deliberately misinterpreting my words in the most negative fashion possible. Good day, and I hope you find happiness in whatever guise it takes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 08:24 PM
–

There is no reason to insult me. I'm unsure why you are taking such an aggressive approach with me. This are my beliefs and how I wish to live my life. You can be independent, strong, and capable in your own right, and I can go on being a docile, submissive little girl. To sum it up simply, submission does not mean slavery, and it doesn't mean I assume my man knows everything. A good traditional man can be the clear leader and head of household, while also understanding his woman can be insightf…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 08:09 PM
–

This is a very reductive interpretation of what I said. Ultimately, all I can say is, I'll live my life as I choose. You are entirely free to disagree or not like it, that simply means it doesn't work for you, or resonate with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 07:11 PM
1

Humans are irrational creatures that often don't know what they want. In other words, filling out a list of preferences has a tendency to not go well. I actually like this idea, you never know what might spring up. I like the punishment idea as well. A lot of people these days think they have all the time in the world, so the historical pressure of "get married and have children when you're still able to be a parent" doesn't exist as much. People are overly confident they can always find a bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 06:53 PM
0

Life is full of exceptions. I don't dislike tomboys. I only have an issue if they think I'm weak, soft, stupid, or what have you. Some tomboys are insecure and don't want to be "like the other girls" so they will put down traditional femininity. Socially, they fulfill a pretty superb role. There are times where a group of women will be harassed or threatened, and it's usually the tomboys who step up with counter-aggression.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 06:38 PM
1

I don't agree with LDRs. They are a relationship in slow motion and often go nowhere.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/23 06:19 PM
14

You can only truly change yourself through mindfulness. That is, you have to be primed and actively aware of your behavior so you can positively act the way you wish to, and also stop negative actions from bubbling up. Before conversations I always ask myself: "Am I being polite and respectful? Am I being supportive and servile? Can they depend on me to be steady, calm, and docile?" This is with virtually any conversation with someone who isn't a stranger--I strongly value living a submissive, s…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/23 06:17 PM
1

A lot of people think in binaries, either it's 100% or 0%, as opposed to something more granular. They take the most extreme angles of an argument. "Men built the world? Are you saying women did nothing?" when that's not being argued. Men have always been historically motivated by women, supported by women, had their families raised by women. Plenty of men contribute for different reasons, however. Similarly, plenty of women have contributed as well, being exceptional examples. The partnership b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 06:10 PM
2

As a trad woman, my view on this is that both genders contribute in different ways. That being said, the majority of the credit belongs to men, and society will always be more dependent on the sacrifices of hardworking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:56 PM
–

I am much happier, healthier, and well-balanced now, than when I was more stringently feminist. Anecdotal, of course, but that's my personal experience. I consider myself fairly intensely traditionalist. When I began to place value in the masculine traits of men, as in respect and accommodate them, while simultaneously embracing traditional feminine traits (submission, obedience, passivity, docility, civility, gentleness, etc.) I found that most men reacted by being quasi-paternal and gauging th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:55 PM
1

I can't speak for society-wide trends, as I think all of these movements remain fringe. Society tends to incorporate only slight aspects of fringe ideologies, so for example, redpill's influence may simply be more men trying to be more commanding and leader-like rather than be too sensitive and emotional. Speaking anecdotally, every traditional community I'm part of has been steadily growing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 02:38 AM
5

In general, people shouldn't make broad, sweeping claims about any group, particularly if they're negative or disparaging. Generalizations like that are unhealthy for the mind, and unfair to the people you're generalizing. However, I have found that men are an easy punching bag these days. Men who fall through the cracks or find themselves in a bad spot are labelled failures to be forgotten, rather than helped. In summary, I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 01:51 AM
3

The role of these laws is to ensure the best outcome for the child, regardless of the wishes of the parents in most cases. It's to make sure that the state doesn't have to step in. Allowing an "opt out" is silly--because it unduly punishes the child if the man can just say "nope." The goal of this rewrite seems to be all about giving the man more control, and it actually opens up more opportunities for the child to suffer. So no, I don't agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 12:16 AM
2

I just have a different view on it, I suppose. I think introversion is on the rise, the pandemic didn't help, and people are more plugged-in to their cellphones. I generally agree that most people for one reason or another don't want to be disturbed.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:57 PM
11

As a trad woman, "supporting my man" is a major pillar of my philosophy. He should feel like you have his back always. You should be there for him when he's mentally struggling. It's your duty to help balance his emotions and make him feel loved. Whatever he's doing--an intense hobby, his career, something else--he should feel like you're at his side rooting for him. I personally get such a rush and an amazing feeling when I support the men I know in my life, not even talking about lovers, neces…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/23 06:25 PM
1

I rarely if ever see men argue this. I do see men rather fairly argue that in a public or mostly public sphere, a polite greeting should be treated with respect instead of the woman calling him a creepy weirdo and putting him on blast. A woman with headphones on taking a jog should not be approached but there are plenty of casual moments you can approach for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:19 PM
–

A pro-capitalist website has every reason to play pretend and act as if capitalism is inherently natural, and that the concepts of trade, free markets, and currency are all inherently capitalistic. Marriage predates literally every economic system and model. An institution thousands of years older than capitalism cannot be inherently capitalistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:39 PM
–

That's moving the goal posts by expanding the definition of what capitalism is to cover all acts of trade. Not an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:36 PM
–

Unrestrained, definitely. I believe this can be prevented, but not when everyone has to work 40+ hour weeks and are only a few paychecks and some savings away from hardship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:35 PM
–

Precisely. These forces have a massive negative effect on our behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:34 PM
–

Marriage has existed for thousands of years prior to capitalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:33 PM
–

A good number of women have been "capitalized," which is to say, the effects of capitalism have seeped in quite deeply, making them intensely materialistic. This is because women are more socially-inclined and judge themselves by their peers. This has the end result of women thinking the best way of expressing their value is money. This leads to women pursuing men for their money, viewing them as money-dispensing pigs. This is one way how society has warped our view of relationships. Your man sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 11:29 PM
11

Men are struggling to find a place in today's society. The growth of extreme ideologies outside the mainstream is proof of that. Those ignoring their plight are evil. We need to uplift all of society, not just select groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 08:16 PM
3

There are a lot of umbrellas I likely fall under. For instance, despite being intensely traditional, I completely accept that exceptions have always been a human norm, and I deeply support the LGBTQ+ community, and I even agree with many socialist economic policies. I don't think anyone is a perfect fit for anything. That being said, I just don't personally identify as feminist; I view myself as a traditionalist. I sometimes joke it's "reformist traditionalism." In other words, I have to pick on…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 08:12 PM
6

In general, many conservative men are far away from what I am looking for. I find that many conservative men don't have any sense of standards, decency, or politeness. They are hyper-focused on "owning the libs" and breaking the dating game down into some kind of exact science with tips and strategies. Very few of them are compatible with a real traditional mindset, which puts much higher standards of decorum and intellectual rigor on both men and women. Just like a trad woman is expected to kee…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 07:22 PM
2

I know you mean well and intend well, but this post does summarize a bit of my issue here. I am told I must have a world view that accepts the full core message of feminism, while simultaneously, feminists are allowed to tell me how they have a concern with my way of life and tell me I need to be cautious. It rings hypocritical, in my eyes--rules for thee and not for me. I am overall aware of what I'm getting to and what I'm pursuing. I also believe it as a personal ethos that I have no intentio…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 07:17 PM
2

While that's always a possibility, I trust enough in my sense of judgment to weed them out. The internet also overinflates how many of those there are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 07:14 PM
0

You can PM me if you'd like.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 03:34 AM
2

I agree. I don't see them as opposites, or incompatible. I have a clear and precise view of who I am as a woman, and my gender role. Part of my dissatisfaction was the rhetoric some women engaged in, and the fact I was "fighting" against concepts I have come to realize I actually value.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 02:38 AM
0

I think this is just the man side of the equation. An equivalent for women would be about being submissive, loyal, and feminine. Being supportive, comforting, making his leadership feel valued, pleasing him sexually, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:28 AM
1

As a woman, I strongly agree with these, particularly 3, 2, and 1. Those, in my opinion, nail it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:20 AM
8

I was a strong feminist for quite a time, but I can't say it made me feel good about myself, made me feel empowered, or gave me any sense of self-worth. I recognize the advancements feminists have earned and fought for over the decades. I'm not anti-feminist, I just don't identify as one. I am part of that "trad culture" push. I honestly hope it helps women like me but also men. I don't want men to hate women, be suspicious of them, or have opinions like you outlined. I hope they too can get in …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:02 AM
1

I'm disappointed in a lot of these replies from the women, but oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 12:51 AM
-1

Yes. Trust is a two way street. I am fine being dependent on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 09:59 PM
1

I was going to respond with my own comment, but instead decided to read around first. This sums it up short and succinctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 09:07 PM
1

Privileged women (who have access to wealthy men, and the requirements to attract them) do not, no. They have no reason to learn those skills. They aren't running a household or living on a budget.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 08:47 PM
4

I don't like that behavior from him. That doesn't feel upfront to me, I would have never known what "jerkmate" is, that comes across like he slipped it by you in a casual conversation. As a wife, you have a duty to provide sex to him, but as a husband, he has a duty to support you emotionally when you are truly struggling. This is not a bad week or so, these are hard times for you, and he could have been more patient and understanding, and the two of you could have worked together to get your gr…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 08:25 PM
14

That advice would improve any person, in general. There is much you can't control in life, the important part is accepting that and focusing on what you can control. You may never hit "top 5% of men," rather, you can become the best version of yourself and that's all anyone can reasonably ask for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 08:15 PM
1

You were doing everything that could be expected of you--following his requests, seeking his approval. But it's clear that this wasn't an isolated aspect, but rather a pattern of insecurity and weakness on his behalf. You certainly did not do anything wrong. The best question to ask yourself: were you seeking his approval and permission on your clothing, because he is your man, and you follow him and adore him? Or were you seeking his approval and permission because he's scary, argumentative, an…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 08:11 PM
1

You had misgivings and some disagreements, but throughout you respected his requests and followed them. You behaved perfectly. But his decision over the gym was where the line was crossed--I feel he is entitled to control your wardrobe, but prohibiting exercise? There is no sanity in that. But his question about the gym and the fact he could not tolerate men being around you period is no longer a man exercising his authority within reason, but the rampant insecurities of someone who is not well-…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 07:53 PM
11

For a good, long term relationship, the man's dominance should be asserted and quite present, as well as the woman's submission and obedience. Neither side should be so overwhelming that they are not well-rounded adults, which is to say the man should listen to good advice and input from his woman, and the woman should be able to function and make decisions without being 100% dependent. Nevertheless, in my opinion, the man's dominance and the woman's submission to him is one of the important cor…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 07:46 PM
16

I was a staunch feminist for a long time. I am not discounting the efforts of feminists--for decades, they did great work--but the more recent (past 30 years) wave of feminism has not sat right with me, and I tried to overcompensate to bury those feelings. Traditional womanhood speaks to me. I feel at my strongest and most whole when I am submissive, loyal and feminine. I am not a leader, but I dream of supporting a strong, masculine leader who is my husband. My views are entirely incompatible w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 07:43 PM
0

I don't think so. You are more prone to find a man of similar interests and tastes through hobby groups, traditional spaces, clubs and events, and through word of mouth. Online dating engineers for the worst of men. The men that get the most matches are those who lie and say what you want to hear. Honest men are punished, and these apps bury men of quality. They also grant women outsized power in picking and choosing, and conventional dating has never before given women such a tremendous amount …
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/23 07:38 PM
0

This post is rather funny now. The responses you got in the other thread you made about this issue have proven you completely right.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 07:31 PM
0

I wasn't sure what you meant originally by foreign women, and assumed it was a shallow preference. But I read some of your replies, and some other comments, and began to understand what you meant. You are completely right. A lot of western women do not offer that much, and view themselves purely as a prize to be won. They have no idea how to act like proper women any longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 07:21 PM
6

A lot of "too nice" men are actually insecure, and on some level afraid that they will be abandoned or have their feelings hurt, so they try to compensate this way. Their niceness is disingenuous for this reason, more a defensive mechanism. Some women will judge that very harshly. They may not understand the root causes and the why behind the man's actions, they just sense a disconnection and walk off. They say he's "too nice" but can't articulate why. These men usually just need comfort, compas…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 07:14 PM
0

As a woman with traditional values I would say I bring the exact same things to the table. I view the man as the head of the household, the principal breadwinner and decision-maker. I want nothing more than to be supportive of my man, to be obedient towards him and to serve him, to take care of him emotionally and physically, to keep his home well-maintained, and to have his children and raise them. I am submissive, loyal, and feminine. Even right now as I work and date, I am scrupulously saving…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 07:09 PM
2

I think social media and the internet has damaged men more than anything else. It has opened them to a world of misleading information, unending comparisons, and bad role models. At the same time, the world is increasingly putting out the message that men don't matter, or that men must change. There have always been bad men. We can't judge a gender based on them. I also think it's important to stop saying "men can figure it out on their own, let them fall through the cracks if they fail." Societ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 06:54 PM
3

So many posts seem to overthink gender relations. Women are more numb to male attention because we get a lot of it. I could take very plain pictures, post them on Tinder with a fairly straightforward bio, and I would get 50+ matches a day. Most of these men really do just want sex, and are not really interested in me. Women quickly develop the skill to filter those men out as best as we are able, in pursuance of finding men who seem to actually care about who we are and might want a relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 06:37 PM
2

I agree. Part of the problem arises because men are conditioned to be competitive, and men don't want to help each other as much. You don't see a sense of brotherhood amongst men these days as much, though you do see plenty of life coaches seeking to profit. I'm not talking just groups of friends--I'm talking classic fraternal organizations and true camaraderie, people who will lend $1000 or go out for a beer with you and talk personal problems at length. Part of the problem arises because women…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 06:14 PM
–

I think with strangers, context matters. There are times in which I'd be more prone to it, but randomly on the street? Not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 05:51 PM
4

Thank you. I couldn't agree more, men of honor who rise to the call are the backbone of western society.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:12 AM
7

This is, hopefully, the situation I will eventually find myself in.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:57 AM
5

Speaking personally, it's not just about literal protection in the form of my man beating up a guy trying to assault me. Their presence, in general, is protective and freeing. I no longer have to guard myself as firmly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 01:05 AM
2

I think complimenting a complete stranger is a little odd, since it would have to be a superficial compliment--physical attractiveness only. It's best for it to be someone you have some sort of working relationship with, be it an acquaintance at school or work, a friend of a friend, a member of a club or group, or what have you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 12:27 AM
6

I don't think women are aware of what an influence they have on the mental health of men. Praising, complimenting, or otherwise asking how men are doing hits very hard coming from a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 12:20 AM
1

It is, but society is battering the dynamic quite hard. We are naturally attracted to one another, but it's hard to think about that when society is seemingly designed to turn you into a mindless worker drone. As someone part of the trad community, the one thing I've noticed more than ever is the mental health question. Every man and woman seems to feel better, more like themselves, when expectations are clear and in-sync with our drives as men and women. The moment I dropped feminism, was the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 12:00 AM
0

I know a few men who hold traditional values, who were former redpillers, or at least flirted with redpill values. What most of them seem to agree on is that at some point with the redpill, you either accept the world as it is and take responsibility over yourself and chase success and improvement for the sake of it, or you continue to externalize blame and develop an anger towards the world veiled in the constructed philosophy of the redpill. I do think men can easily be redpillers and still be…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 11:48 PM
0

Very few people are an idealized "Chad" or "Stacy," and thus have things they wish they could change about themselves but can't. They key is not internalizing this self-hate and automatically assuming you're being constantly judged for this one feature. That is far more unattractive than your height.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 11:00 PM
1

This goes back to my earlier point about not getting bogged down by "what some people are doing on Tiktok." There is just much more to life and society than social media; if your barometer is "I haven't seen these videos" then you are already setting yourself up for defeatism.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 10:45 PM
1

The very nature of this post--the "short king" phenomenon--is pretty evident of a trend in recognizing the value of shorter men. I have seen plenty of women vouch for and argue that focusing on height is a mistake. In general, I try not to get bogged down by "what one or two people on Tiktok are doing" theories of ideology; it's an anecdotal dead end.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 10:31 PM
1

I think to some extent men and women can't fully understand the opposite gender's positions on some matters. For example, I find the man being the leader of the household to be empowering, because it lets me focus on the things that matter to me and benefit us both. Acknowledging the man's burdens, issues, and hard choices and comforting him on them and supporting him is, in my eyes, far better than us both equally splitting decisions down the middle. It does mean that I look to the man to be a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 08:51 PM
1

Thank you. I agree it is a case of "wanting it both ways," which is unfair. I think an independent, career woman has to accept that she might out-earn the men in her future. It's quite a double-standard otherwise. They cannot "gender" income standards, while also fighting hard to break them. In my case, my standards are defined by my view of gender roles, which is traditional. I don't champion my independence, because by virtue of wanting to be traditional/SAHM, I am inherently dependent. I don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 08:16 PM
13

Women are more socially-oriented than men, and far more communal. Thus, young women, who are already impressionable, are impacted by these trends, and more easily peer pressured. Not being part of the group or being labeled an outsider hits women very hard. So generally this is quite true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 07:11 PM
1

I fully believe you. They're wrong for saying that though. As said these movements are so big, so you get a lot of variety in opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 07:10 PM
-2

It depends entirely where you look. The movement is too big to paint with a broad brush--this is true of a lot of things. Has it mostly been about women? I agree with that. Have I nevertheless seen people advocate for the issues men face? I have indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 07:06 PM
4

Femininity classes have a long tradition: finishing schools and charm schools are the historical precedence for this, though sadly fell to the wayside in the 60s. There are many life coaches these days that fulfill the same purpose, and I'm glad you found one that works for you. Remember, anything not put to practice slowly withers away. There are many avenues for learning and intensifying femininity. By me, there are clubs dedicated to reading, sewing, gardening, and other practices. I find the…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/23 07:02 PM
1

Speaking as a more traditional woman, for all the men that praise me, there are plenty of other women (and men) who berate me for having "internalized misogyny," or being submissive and docile, or too stupid to be a career woman. I get plenty of distaste myself, too. I have still yet to learn why being submissive to a man is a bad thing, but I digress. That is absolutely not to discount the pains of men--as I see it, men get too much hate and have a very hard time of it--but merely to illustrate…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 06:41 PM
1

For me, this isn't true. A traditional household relies on one income, and that's hard to get. For the right man, I would labor with him to help make that a reality. It'd be great if he already had that, but society isn't setup like that any more. So, to me, the ambition and work ethic mean more. A good example of this in practice: I would be OK helping him pay off loans, or help pay for a high degree, while he pursues that one income. To me, traditionalist virtues exist regardless of circumstan…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 06:38 PM
2

I think people are quite wrong in thinking this has had no impact on dating. The body positivity movement has definitely benefited men who fall outside the typical range. Has it been a sweeping, overnight change? No, but even memes like this can influence trends overtime. Speaking personally, I have never cared what a man's height is. I think some women have a silly view on masculinity. I am 5'9 and relatively athletic, but a 5'4 guy who even marginally works out is going to be stronger and toug…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 06:31 PM
1

That is my goal in life, but I find the term antiquated. I may be a stay at home mother, but I'd like to educate my kids, tend a (large) garden, maintain the property in a more material way. Full spectrum domesticity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 06:22 PM
5

Pretty sad that that the bare minimum in traditional gender roles is the "ideal" now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 07:25 AM
3

Interesting. It seems my beliefs were wrong. Thank you for correcting me. It is quite convenient, from a political stance, to focus on the wider, less precise gap. There is certainly a discussion to be had over why women select certain jobs, which contribute to the wider, less precise gap. As well as the "motherhood penalty," if companies should ignore the split in focus and the time off for childbirth. I am of the opinion we women make the choices we wish to make--picking less intense jobs, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 06:59 AM
5

I have heard lots of statistics thrown around, that's mostly why I'd love to see a more definitive study if one is possible. 3% is usually within the margin of error, and would greatly change my view on that issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 05:27 AM
16

No, I cannot meet the standards I hold for men in some regards. However, I do not want a man to meet the standards I hold for myself, either. We should have different standards. For instance, I enjoy cooking, I'm quite good at it as well. I'm quite good at cleaning--and I mean real deep, thorough cleaning, not just running the vacuum cleaner over the floor. I can mend clothing and even tailor/do alterations. I have a talent for interior decorating, I can fix small plumbing and electrical issues,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:55 AM
7

Don't most examinations of the gender wage gap account for things such as different career paths, only comparing men and women in the same careers or jobs? I would be curious as to your evidence for this claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:43 AM
6

There was no law against women having bank accounts, credit cards, business loans, or mortgages, no. Nevertheless, the vast majority of banks and credit card companies did not issue them to women, without a man's permission or a man co-signing. This reached the Supreme Court and eventually congress passed the the Equal Credit Opportunity Act to allow women to do these things on equal footing. If the men in a woman's life did not want her having a bank account, credit card, or trying to take out …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:21 AM
4

That's correct. There were several laws, acts, and court cases in the 60s, 70s, and 80s that outlawed various types of discrimination and increased the freedom of women. The Civil Rights Act of 1964, the aforementioned Equal Credit Opportunity Act, a court case on discriminatory wages and firing women for being pregnant. Single women had nothing stopping them from [...] getting a job, or owning a house for well over a century by now. You are right about both of these, and I stand corrected. Prop…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:03 AM
12

I'm unsure where you got this impression, but until the 1974 Equal Credit Opportunity Act, banks could refuse to issue a credit card to an unmarried woman, and if a woman was married, her husband was required to cosign. On top of this, even if issued, some credit card companies discounted the wages of women by as much as 50% when calculating their credit card limits. In both cases this would be quite a limit on independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 03:10 AM
5

Which is certainly not a bad option, but there are more types of danger than just that. There are also plenty of women who will be uncomfortable using weapons no matter what, such as myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 03:08 AM
5

The world is dangerous. Women rely more on the physical force of society to be protected. Women are more prone to fall into cycles of abuse and exploitation. This is not to say men can't be victims of violence--they can and often are--but that men are in general more equipped (and privileged) by society to handle themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:55 AM
2

Surprised by the other responses to this. People go out to meet other people all the time. Assuming the guy is just being himself, being forward and flirty, I don't see the issue here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:52 AM
12

Women were not able to do most of those things until relatively recently. Women couldn't even have credit cards and bank accounts until the 60s and 70s in America, which makes the whole idea of being independent difficult. The last two generations of women are some of the first in the United States to actually be able to live independently. Thus it's something held up more triumphantly due to its recency. From a personal perspective, I get the idea you're saying: being able to live alone shouldn…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:47 AM
2

This is a very dishonest response to what I said--you've decided to engage with an extreme interpretation of my words, and attack me as an individual rather than my argument, i.e. arguing with a strawman, belittling me, and putting words in my mouth. You're also engaging in a lot of "whataboutism." I don't know what you've to gain from this, perhaps some cathartic feeling of yelling at people you disagree with, I don't know. Have a nice day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:24 AM
1

In my experience, I have not found this to be entirely true. There are a significant amount of redpill men who simply hate women and wish to control them, and fantasize about revenge. And then there is the fact that while there are some aspects of feminism I don't agree with, there are many I do agree with, and that meets with mixed reception amongst redpill men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:06 AM
2

I am generally traditionalist. You could even say I am a "gender reformist"--I largely believe in gender roles and traditional dynamics, as informed by modern society and aspects of feminism. I believe men should be men, and women should be women, that men are the head of households, that women should be supportive, nurturing, and feminine, and men should be confident leaders, and masculine. I still permit tons of exceptions to this dynamic--tomboys, androgynous fellows, non-conforming--but that…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 01:50 AM
11

In general, this is true. This is because social circles as a concept have been under attack for decades. Clubs, societies, "hangouts," social gatherings, events, dating opportunities, going to church, and so forth, have been eroded by several forces: economic downturn, lack of opportunities, increased mental health issues, computers and the internet, dating apps, so forth. Self-improvement in a vacuum won't mean anything if you aren't fraternizing with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 01:36 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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