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Amazing_Wolverine_37 Archive

View 1 posts and 229 comments by Amazing_Wolverine_37 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
202

QUEEN SH*TAmazing_Wolverine_37/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 06:22 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I told his boss to never send him to my place again!
/r/ExRedPill21/01/23 03:41 PM
2

This is just wrong on every point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 01:40 PM
68

From my understanding the lovebombing went in the other direction, as Amber was reticent to settle down. But if you are 22 and a still sexy Johnny Depp is interested, well, that seems pretty provocative to me. I don't want to downplay anyone's experience but unfortunately this story appears to primarily fall into the male midlife crisis and enabling of Hollywood, mixed with unhealed trauma on both sides. I'm in between their ages and generationally I have a difficult time imagining that part wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 05:05 AM
52

That was even proven to be a non issue, a simple arrest and release. I await the rest of the evidence and testimony. It's really not gonna be pretty, and only a lifelong alcoholic would lack the good sense to not drag it out like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 04:25 AM
169

Definitely both. As a person ages, as well, it seems there are fewer men who are still open to being decent and loving who happen to still be single. But I also tended to be more of a caretaker in my dating life than I wanted to be and am still surprised at the amount of mental labor expected of me. Taking a break until the next level up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 10:15 PM
151

Speaking as a therapist I better be getting something equivalent to $150/hr!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 02:00 AM
67

It's a huge turn off and makes me pretty sure I'm just in the ladies section of the men's locker room. I can't count how many times I'm reading about frugality or mycology and all of the sudden it's penis joke central. And not even good jokes, just I HAVE A PENIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 03:32 PM
199

When some of my decorative bed pillows were in my closet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 04:37 PM
63

This, all this. After nearly 4 years, I'm not suddenly model material but I got my vibe back and not being in the undertow makes that abundantly clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 04:03 PM
156

Seems almost en vogue for men to publicly allude to being a type of disappointment like a point of pride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 03:14 PM
4

Gosh here I thought a dude immediately offering a lady a ride home while making her acquaintance at a meetup was rash. Must be nice to not live at all in fear and try to take advantage of the simple act of sharing space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 06:20 PM
21

Reading his laundry list of complaints made me think it was all projection. I bet an ounce of self reflection would be too much, might as well commit some felonious violence instead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 09:52 PM
2

So well actually and same! It's a pity to have had those blinders but a gift to shed them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 06:20 PM
2

Also something I have seen is a lot of men who aren't confident tend to start resenting their partners, and treating them with indifference or worse, spite. It is all a part of projection, of course. This is my lived experience and it really took a turn for the worse once I was in grad school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 06:07 PM
17

Can't so much as look at a political sub without some callback to a sex act as defined on Urban Dictionary. UGH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 06:57 PM
32

Wow, this story is local to me. Viewing it with a whole new lens now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:28 PM
32

My experience checks out with this - really through and through with my ex. To their credit, they did get counseling. Counseling for men who have found themselves in abusive relationships. 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 04:10 PM
2

Yeah I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but I immediately thought of FDS as soon as I saw the dollar amount. It just got more Reddity from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 08:30 PM
48

I carved out the time to watch and already have had one belly laugh and about 20 "what the fuck is wrong with this world?"s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 08:23 PM
24

It still amazes me how much hate and unhappiness emanated from my ex after I told them it was over. How he could be so resentful and hold decade long grudges without saying a word until I told him he could not have another toy/open relationship. In this case the flipped that switch was me finally saying nah. I wouldn't say it was great until that point but I thought it was at least workable. Hard to not be a little cynical out on the market now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 05:07 PM
21

I just blocked and deleted someone who insta text girlfriended me. We went thru him asking for new pics but sending the ones from his profile, pics of his kid within the first two days, him saying he was allergic to cats when I am in a cat household and him showing off his watch collection. The final straw was when he asked how I slept after texting me at 3 and 5 am. Ironically he said he slept "just fine." No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 04:10 PM
96

99% of my lower libido when married came from not wanting to have sex with a person under the influence of alcohol when I wasn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:30 PM
13

My history is also deeply and needlessly complicated ... a couple of years ago I had an epiphany around shame and how it no longer defined me. There was and is a lot to work out but after therapy and my own higher education avoiding the feeling of shame isn't my main compass in life. I posted something about it to Facebook and a striking gender difference manifested. All the men were in the neutral/negative territory, with statements like "why would you ever feel that way, it's a shame you ever …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:22 AM
45

I did the best job I could parenting, made sure my money was all in check, continued to keep and build connections with my family, friends and colleagues and left. Alcohol use suddenly played a more prominent role in their life after the child's birth and I wasn't about to enable anything more than I already had. Luckily my ex asked to see other people in a drunken haze and now seems much more healthy with a .... different single mom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:20 AM
48

This happened to me, AMA. My PHQ 9 (basic measure of depression) was 2 out of 27 at my post natal checkup. I shudder to think what my exes was but of course talking about it was off the table. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:30 AM
63

I love comedy and have deduced the absolutely funniest people are in fact women, particularly of color. Such a shame we've been force fed Seinfelds in popular culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 05:23 PM
83

Soon to be 1.5 years for me and I just know I never would have leveled up so hard otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:15 AM
78

I'm not sure if you can be sure. For me it was dating the "marriage minded" religious gentleman. Keep wondering why he presented himself as such when he had someone else pregnant. Men really seem to think that we are navigating this sea of potential matches out there but 2/3rds are not remotely, and I mean remotely dateable. And at least half are already in a relationship or situationship. Not. Good. Odds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 05:22 AM
18

My grandma outlived her husband by 30 years. Her children were good enough to literally take care of her at the end with minimal help but she also spent a decade in a managed care environment. You gotta get that money independently. I myself have been leaving jobs left and right and block and delete at my delight. You can set yourself up for that kind of success! No matter where you are that core of independence will help you get where you need to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 09:16 PM
22

Yup. I should have left 5 years earlier and that part is all on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:01 AM
174

Well that gentleman certainly effed around. And that gentleman certainly found out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:36 PM
1

She's just a boomer. People can leave others if they are not happy even if there isn't abuse.
/r/ExRedPill03/01/22 09:45 PM
4

Even if true, so what!?
/r/ExRedPill03/01/22 05:43 AM
5

It's an old article and men haven't actually started being the way the author explains it.
/r/ExRedPill03/01/22 12:15 AM
2

Well this was published in 2014 and a lot has changed since then. And mostly I would think a lot of it is the "good guy" label which is sort of a misnomer. I'm not saying everyone is problematic but this just isn't based on the reality I have seen, as a much younger and perhaps less experienced couples counselor.
/r/ExRedPill02/01/22 11:38 PM
1

The use of chase is so interesting in this context.
/r/ExRedPill31/12/21 04:04 PM
46

Blocking all of the dm's and replies has been a godsend. It does make sense how reactive people are - this is the info many are reticent to learn despite straight up asking for it. Especially here, the land of the incel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 06:41 PM
3

Real talk exercise is a great mood booster.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/21 05:46 PM
9

To keep blood flow going (a true help in the bedroom), improve strength and stave off depression and disease?
/r/ExRedPill30/12/21 06:21 AM
61

A stay at home lower maintenance wife with kids = expensive. A hot one would be exorbitant and a lower earner should know they'd have to level up to even apply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 08:59 PM
54

Wow, I'm floored. Honestly I prefer the "well we never really liked him" approach so many in my family took when basically the same thing happened to me (of course a few different variables). It's known that many men have a psychic meltdown right when they are needed the most but the conniving and cold bloodedness, ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 03:42 PM
14

Therapy, diet/cooking whole foods, keeping connected to family and friends, going to the doctor and dentist, planning getaways not just to reduce stress but see how others live, keeping a tidy house, reducing addictive behavior, and these days investing in a career.
/r/ExRedPill26/12/21 05:16 PM
9

If I wanted to settle, as a 40 year old single mom dating casually for a few years, I could have hundreds of times over. I choose to engage in something meaningful and sustainable for me, thus the search continues. Men at this age, however, seem very surprised to find themselves single and generally haven't done the same amount of work on themselves as a woman the same age typically has.
/r/ExRedPill26/12/21 04:34 PM
3

Seeing someone as alien to one's self and not thinking about the nuance of people's lives. I think the attention thing is probably projection which is easy to do if you limit yourself to these us vs them ideologies.
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 04:36 AM
1

In this case straight deleting someone without even asking what the situation is and then applying a twisted self-defeating logic instead of having the courage to inquire. If this just happened it is the week of, not even before, Christmas. She could have been super busy, or sick, or her kid has two casts and braces right now, who even knows. Other choice Blowing their chances I have heard/experienced include: -negging -showing signs of aggression that indicate danger -being focused on sex but a…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 06:18 AM
31

As a single mom I especially wonder why she would be "using him for attention". We have kids, attention is the last thing we lack. The othering is so interesting and I know people on every side of the dating spectrum indulge in it.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 12:54 AM
3

I took a year to jump in, a year to ho out and another year plus to not even bother trying. I noticed today at kid exchange that the ex has a big ol man ring on "that" finger. Huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:57 PM
95

When my ex stated "I'm just the type who needs to be dating more than one person" after 15 years of marriage, all I could think was "they must mean that severe case of ADHD which I have compensated for for nearly half of my life".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 06:03 AM
2

Yeah, I talk to a lot of them and am barely out of the demo myself. I haven't heard but a handful say that looks are #1 and it usually boils down "it would appear I don't have to tell him to wash himself" or "we look like we are of the same class and stature".
/r/ExRedPill18/12/21 11:20 PM
2

I am but I'm an old. Generally at this stage it's more about how well someone has taken care of themselves and how they realistically will in the future.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/21 11:06 PM
11

Never before this year have I heard that male attractiveness is so very important to people like me, straight cis women. Honestly I think it's something to explore and I do like how you kinda indicate you gotta find someone on your level, as that piece is often missing. But overall I think "attractiveness" isn't the panacea so many believe.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/21 10:41 PM
38

I do hope a man will be so lucky and worthwhile to have access to all the things I bring but in the time meantime I am giving nothing away. If that is a shock to them or the world, then good, it's working.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 09:39 PM
194

I am really not sure what to do as I, a mental health counselor try to communicate with the Redditors of the world. It's never ever a suggestion taken seriously in a personal context if I see it, and at that coming from other people who are or have been in the same position. Myself I truly do understand a lot of the barriers to getting treatment but the resistance is almost entertaining from an outside perspective. The whole world is waiting, guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:49 PM
6

Personally I think there has been a bit of a mass exodus away from the sites on women's behalf. Also IME most of the men weren't single so it's not like they ever *have* to close up shop. So true about the low dividends, after chatting with and meeting hundreds of guys I haven't cared to get back out there in any great capacity.
/r/ExRedPill15/12/21 10:09 PM
90

Yes I am attracted to confident, assertive, decisive, and socially dominant men. Confident in their abilities and disposition. Assertive as in not taking shit. Decisive as in has his own goals and doesn't waffle between identities constantly. Socially dominant in has people who can depend on him and he and everyone knows it. I would say that RP tells men to be more sociopathic as defense to insecurity, aggressive in general, narrow minded and apt to bully others. That is not attractive.
/r/ExRedPill14/12/21 03:40 AM
3

Yes, my best friend. She had a really natural opportunity to leave and I was welcoming her with warm arms. She just couldn't do it and would rather be with a man who baby trapped her and let her live in her car. I'd ask directly what's up and start real talk, she'd be absent for days. I want to help fix it all but she's made that bed and is now comfortably dozing. So I'm gonna put where I was gonna let her stay on AirBnb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 04:23 AM
6

Yup. I'm literally trying to decide what to do about an inappropriate maintenance man and whether he'll stalk me if I go above his head. Fun.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 03:26 AM
3

I can say from the other side it doesn't come up, or at least hasn't in 10 years as a mental health provider.
/r/ExRedPill11/12/21 05:38 AM
5

It's really about adding similar value to someone within the relationship and a little bit of Golden Rule. I know that I care about everyone in my life, so too I want something similar to that care. It probably won't take the same form as the gifts I keep, but it's also nice to have two cooks in the kitchen or both partners to be attractive and fun. Honestly I really like the yin and yang of masculinity and femininity, but we do live in a culture that makes it necessary to hustle for most people…
/r/ExRedPill10/12/21 07:39 AM
2

Most people don't feel 100% inherently flawed unless they are religious and redemption is part of their belief or they were brought up that way. The thing about attractiveness is that it is truly different for everyone despite the standard advice that you have to be hot, a good personality is not only more universal in definition but will actually get you a better life whether or not you are with someone.
/r/ExRedPill10/12/21 04:13 AM
24

My story as well. Yes of course I was the one to file!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 06:43 AM
3

My world definitely changed when I recognized that my dad is an enabler and though he left the house to be with my stepmom when I was born, he was such before and after. I think it's because his older sister primed him for that. But I hate to feel like it furthers the us vs them narrative for future relationships. As a person who refuses to enable it makes me feel like my next step is become more narcissistic. Fascinating all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 09:22 PM
9

I still go by the idea that the person who asks pays. Used to go half if I had no romantic intention but then I realized that I put a lot of time, money and effort in my appearance and other incidentals going on dates.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/21 05:10 PM
12

Reminds me of my reaction when my phone suggested I use their new locked folder feature for ya know things you don't want your great aunty seeing. Harumph.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 06:49 AM
33

Mine was good old fashioned alcohol and boy was it a libido killer, on both ends. Then it led to a wandering eye for literally anyone not bogged down by the emotional labor of having a newborn and a partner who basically started acting like one. Real picture of sexiness obvs. shrug
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 04:10 PM
3

If it isn't universally true no wonder we have so many people barking up the wrong tree.
/r/ExRedPill22/11/21 04:03 PM
9

Once my rose colored glasses came off I bought new ones just for myself- an act which was rare during my long phase of married self sacrifice. And oh how I slay in them! But I can put them back in the case anytime. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 05:48 AM
8

The main reason I am off OLD. The sheer audacity of putting yourself on the market when you are any shade of non single is fucking staggering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 05:45 AM
10

Can't get blood from a turnip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 05:31 PM
25

Not sure who would downvote this, I feel like time and time again we recognize it was 4chan who got Trump elected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 08:12 PM
3

It's really not the worst life but I recognize my privileges make the difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:38 AM
2

This. I know it seems like a gift compared to no matches but it's a dumpster fire where half the participants are not single anyway. It's not very fun to be negged by strangers, ghosted or constantly pressured for meaningless sex.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/21 04:36 AM
23

Unwanted kissing and public masturbation. More times than I can count.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 04:01 AM
46

Her styling here goes well with the piece and both look lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 07:17 PM
7

That is one weird ass take.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/21 02:11 PM
82

Not good. One of my favorite things is live music and my last experience just watching a band standing near someone who was overserved was bad enough. Nothing like lowest denominator men. UGH!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 06:11 AM
9

I've always gotten some attention but now that I have the resources to look closer to what I would ideally want to I carry myself more confidently and notice more eyes on me than before. I'm more likely to be wishing I had no timeline on having another kid or trying to enjoy certain aspects of aging. Any narrative that claims that women suddenly go insane at a certain age due to a subjective thing like beauty is suspect at best.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/21 05:20 AM
2

I see submission as separate from inferiority, personally. And it seems everyone kinda wants something different anyway.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 10:44 PM
177

I was nervous at first but blam like 5 great points right out the gate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 06:30 PM
27

Honestly I don't think it's all as successful as the people trying to peddle the info are saying. Therapy, finding your own style, being a healthy moderate person with a life someone would want to plus one with. We aren't all attracted to the same thing so develop yourself and be honorable and patient.
/r/ExRedPill29/10/21 07:08 PM
6

As a trained therapist whom has worked extensively with couples, I think we're differently yoked in many ways. Many of us are aware within our personal and professional lives that challenging a victim can be negatively impactful and we are generally advised to not give hard advice. Many of us bristle against the "expert" role but I think the pendulum is honestly moving towards the center. My own trauma history makes me more expressive and honest than many of my colleagues. While I love the polic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 05:40 PM
42

"Are you against the redpill because it has misogynistic views or because it doesn't work?" Both.
/r/ExRedPill29/10/21 04:43 PM
45

I always thought it meant "you can trust me because even in intimate relationships I don't do the type of egregious things that would cause someone to close contact," but we know some will forgive truly despicable acts against themselves and anyone who tries to use words to gain trust during a date probably doesn't deserve any at all from a casual stranger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 05:38 AM
32

Ngl that hit hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:42 PM
43

Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:28 PM
47

Also noted the most clapped for pro response was some random dude. Interesting he would see no prob. 🤐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:24 PM
12

Much appreciated. I know I had to work through my feelings of getting vetted juxtaposed to the fast paced and emotionally vexing style of 99% of the internet. And I'm very glad that I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:47 PM
44

Yes, my ex said something about not planning past the age of 27. Like, you aren't Janis Joplin, dude. Now near 40 figure it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 08:32 AM
5

My best friend is slowly watching her alcoholic ex("?") die due to feeling obligated and bound with no education or solid work experience. Worst life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 07:59 PM
8

This is what I settle on as someone it happened to. I was not well enough to see what red flags there were before the birth of our child but beyond that sometimes particular opportunities to vet simply aren't there (nieces and nephews). At the end of the day it was the higher education I insisted on obtaining before becoming a mother due to the benefits and flexibility of white collar work. Makes being a single mom a bit easier than when I was working and going to school full time (which I've de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 07:53 PM
21

I too had an app again for a few days and got to chatting before I decided now is not the time. For me but especially for the men currently trying to date me. Solidarity, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 07:30 PM
52

Many times I thought it best to test the goods in case there was a future and for my own ego stroking. Turns out my high libido is something I can control and mostly was there due to neglect as a child. I realized that while I do have copious orgasms even during hookups I can have earth melting ones when I care. So in essence no one but myself gets anything from me until I can be assured something will melt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:43 PM
6

The most disappointed I could have ever been is when my ex stated they would no longer do the "masculine" tasks around the house as we were in the process of divorce. It was clear that the stress of home maintenance was too high and no steps to mitigate this (or share how bad it was internally) would be taken. That blank look, though, when I gently pointed out that our mutual child still lives in the home and will presumably do so until they are of age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 08:55 AM
2

Bars probably? Another thing to realize is that while your chances with a person who considers themselves open to sex is greater than someone who doesn't want to participate they are probably hella busy, especially if they are a woman.
/r/ExRedPill20/10/21 08:45 AM
15

No it ranges from unpleasant to scary.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/21 05:58 AM
31

I implore anyone who opens this thread to read the article. This reminds me so much of why I am not nostalgic and I just love that some people can adapt even if their work has .... indefensible elements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:51 AM
1

Yup, this is why I fail at online dating. It's nice to get likes but eventually it's just white noise and the things I personally find important ((cali) sober, stellar grammar, decent family ties) just get lost in the mix. But even in our mini lists there's crossover and someone else out there wants a dude who cooks exceedingly well, loves the outdoors and has a great life-work balance.
/r/ExRedPill18/10/21 01:34 AM
4

I think a lot of it comes from typical beauty standards for women. Since the other side has a much clearer view of what's "hot" vs what isn't men think we generalize the same way. Women don't generally even use a number scale that pertains to attractiveness alone, it's more of a holistic gauging system. It is also very interesting how height is called out as the ultimate attractiveness variable for men because you can't change it. Meanwhile women's beauty is seen as some type of trick (makeup, b…
/r/ExRedPill17/10/21 08:34 PM
1

Yeah. I was thinking more about ending up with someone who is abusive but sure.
/r/ExRedPill16/10/21 06:58 AM
3

Last year I approached a dude in my friend group, he was all hugs about it but cooled off on the idea. I went ahead and decided to take a break on dating, didn't whine about it or shoot anything.
/r/ExRedPill08/10/21 08:42 PM
4

IME half the dudes on apps are not dateable, and that usually means not even single.
/r/ExRedPill08/10/21 08:40 PM
19

Women have much more to lose if they choose badly even if they have more options to choose from. It's not just luck though, people are attracted to all different types of things. That's why it's cool to self improve.
/r/ExRedPill07/10/21 10:52 PM
3

If changing myself has the net effect of taking out the trash, well, yay! How third wave, Jez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 09:59 PM
6

This might be news but we seek support and attention among each other after similar personalities, hobbies and most importantly compatible lifestyles are established.
/r/ExRedPill06/10/21 09:21 PM
1

The answer then is to become top tier, or deal. Pick a pill, either pill.
/r/ExRedPill06/10/21 05:26 PM
40

This week especially. I'm dealing with some heavy stuff but have a new phone and am reblocking as I go, getting solicitations and you ups(?). Let me put aside my grief to make some mens feel better, that's what we are supposed to do, right? eyeroll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 05:21 PM
9

Right, and most of the guys on online dating look like melting paste. There's a lot in between there.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/21 11:37 PM
3

Definitely problematic to be bombarded as men are more apt to play the numbers game anyway. I run out of patience when it's clear no one is reading my profile that has many signifiers that I'm damaged goods and/or hard to keep up with. Professional single mom. But I look like and am a lot of fun and have my stuff together. I understand that it's confusing.... but what I get back is usually the opposite of what I'm looking for.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/21 11:35 PM
1

I've definitely had/have my share and I cared about them/having them at some point. But I wouldn't have gotten with any or else I wouldn't have stayed single after divorce for a few years.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/21 05:59 PM
41

I've never seen so many eye rolls as I did, as a mental health counselor, when I explained to people that my ex had entered therapy specifically for "abused men". This site isn't scientific, informational, educational nor entertaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:02 PM
4

Because in the best case scenario we are really supposed to get it from parents but most of us do not and the rest of our lives becomes about chasing it.
/r/ExRedPill28/09/21 04:35 PM
30

It's a joke. Women are *not* loved unconditionally. And providing something doesn't have to be money. It can be protection, nice looks, being good in bed. These are all things that can be worked on before trying to be with someone else.
/r/ExRedPill28/09/21 03:43 PM
20

"That's probably true." Specifically this was around requests to cut back on drinking in a long term relationship where neither of us were drinkers at the offset. I had pointed out how much money and energy was going into this new behavior several times. So a serious problem got the slightest breadcrumb of acknowledgement, then it was back to stonewalling as a main method to cope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:54 PM
3

If anything this has had me taking inventory of my friends, but also letting nature take its course without trying to interfere for my own interests. I am a bit older and have a lot of different types of connections. My closest friend has been FDS adjacent and was mortified when I dipped my toe into hookup culture. Seems a lot less worried about me now that I have more control over my own life. Who was my closest friend in other times, however, has stopped communicating with me much and I am pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:07 PM
25

Honestly I reported some out of desperation. How fitting that this population is fixating on this instead of oh, I don't know, going their own way. We are watching baby Qanons get born here and it is a slap in the face to any amount of good taste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:02 PM
3

Ooh I think you are right! And it is such a fine idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:26 AM
41

While I'm not chomping at the bit to date or marry someone with less education than myself for myriad reasons, it cuts both ways. How many times will I read advice to men to not date educated women, especially those involved in helping services and professions? Not to even mention how few men will enroll in needed services or even participate in improvement, beit individual or collective. Cool thing is that I wouldn't trade my education for the world so when my ex and I "grew apart" partially du…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:43 AM
17

From Dan Savage, who is definitely problematic but was the first time I remember hearing the principle of if something is off or they do something truly irredeemable, throw the whole man away; i.e. Dump the MFer, Already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 10:21 PM
27

Yeah, no though. Honestly I am not the type to say DTMFA because I do understand everyone has their reasons for doing whatever. But I don't agree with that last point. After divorce I found more self love than I could possibly ever imagine, and that will stay with me no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 07:03 PM
10

Agreed there. I was thinking of how it came up in conversation, since it does seem at least slightly contrived.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 06:04 PM
46

I would hope everyone gives her grace. This is written from his perspective and even if it is 100% (knowing men it is more like 30%) the one part I can tolerate about this wave of feminism is being able to state your truth without asking for forgiveness. Too bad on Reddit we literally never hear the other side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 04:58 PM
86

Seriously interested in more of your writing on the topic. A very enabling family member of mine just died and it is suggested she was being taken advantage of by a new acquaintance. The loss is so hard as I too have taken this role and am unlearning at the moment. My friend I am hoping to help with a bad relationship is the same, and I am coming to terms with the fact that her generosity and love is probably informed greatly by past trauma. Had never thought to rope in that friendzone piece reg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:54 AM
2

Meditation helps.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/21 11:37 PM
39

This is bringing up so much for me. A YT comment mentioned the speeding being abusive and it took me to a moment where my ex was taking me to work and going 80 over a bridge while he stared me down. The first time I broke 80 on my own speedometer I had a lil flashback. But something I think of often is the conversation my mom had with me when I was still in single digits in age, and that is that no matter what happens in the house we do not call the police. She mostly wanted to keep up her image…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 04:58 PM
15

Unfortunately I did the early marriage thing and was super surprised when it all fell apart later. Lots of it seemed to be that I was not a threat to the ol masculinity back in community college when I was getting my glow up. What angers me about my situation is that I left the house early to complete college and got married to get declared as an "independent student". That's kinda silly on many levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:51 AM
37

Yeah, "I'm XX not XX but Facebook/Tinder/DatingSite won't let me change it..." appears to be some kind of tagline with these fellows?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:41 AM
28

Oh gosh I wish I could have met her sometime, I guess it's still possible but your story gave me indie fuzzies. I have been such a fan of hers for so long, there was something so ethereal about her early stuff then such a shock to hear she was with Elon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 12:22 AM
6

Google is available to help inform your definitions literally 24 hours a day.
/r/ExRedPill24/09/21 06:37 PM
6

I'm not sure many professionals are prepared for this tbh. Speaking from experience as a provider.
/r/ExRedPill24/09/21 06:36 PM
13

Sounds like my mom with a constant refrain of "I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I just want to be honest..............."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:57 PM
51

Especially considering how scary outside can feel. Catcalls, getting followed, etc. For just a day I would like to trade places with those who feel like life as a woman is just getting handed bon bons every where you go, hell for just an hour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 02:49 PM
18

More than anything, just that we are in to something here. After a year of OLD I created some parameters which align so closely to FDS - to see others using my newfound language was priceless. I realized I spent hundreds of dollars and time on a face and aesthetic these days and when I first dated in my youth, men literally all paid for dates for any woman they were courting. I dipped into the hookup culture for one second but I don't just think it's the future. The future is equality, the futur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 02:17 AM
29

My dear friend is in a similar position and at this point I am about to draw up the bridge and say it's a lifestyle that is too busy for me. So much manufactured drama when she needs to be focusing on anything but. It's so difficult because my friends do see me as a guidepost but I understand she's in this just way too deep and fear that my rep as a truth teller does not always get me brownie points and fans. Gotta let it go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:02 AM
627

Sean, you are contributing exactly *what* here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:53 AM
5

I had a colleague that sounds like he operated that way. Such a shame because we absolutely need more diversity in the field as well as counselors who can work with men (can't single handedly stop gun violence etc with a population that won't actually do personal work if they don't even believe in therapy, despite society's suggestion!). So sorry to hear this experience occurred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:31 PM
22

Definitely ran into this on OLD. Some cute guys, er..... mostly kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 06:36 PM
19

I just blocked my ex for suggesting he visit during work travels and asking if I "still have (my) house."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 08:07 PM
43

When I read criticism about this sub I'd say this term is maybe 1/3rd of what I see. It's pretty much the only "evidence" offered as to why every last one of us is a misandrist. Make it make the sense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 08:01 PM
64

Hear, hear. If it makes me the bitter one by not tolerating disrespect I invite anyone who feels put out about that to simply die mad. And alone. Because I have everything that I need without (let me type out this acronym) low value behavior dragging me down. Incidentally it's the one thing anyone has control over but people who are anti FDS tenets just refuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 07:55 PM
95

So last year I had "company" for my bday, after expressing a lil pickme oh so sad. When someone I had been interested in rang, I took them up on the offer. Immediately he was acting like we were paired and I should just deal with his scroteness. The admission came during a drive in my car, him in the passengers seat. We passed a place named Rockaway Beach, which led to him talking about how much he loved "Butterface" porn and that he recently saw something with a woman who looked just like Joey …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:14 PM
1

Definitely chose someone who seemed like both but they ended up wanting to be way "badder" than I could tolerate.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/21 03:17 AM
7

Oh that makes me mad. I went to CC and am really interested in pursuing my PhD since I've had a master's for half a decade. We are all capable of all kinds of great things, CC exemplifies this. Dumbass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 02:00 AM
50

If I hadn't always set aside money to some degree, which was absolutely 100% meant for myself and my previous partner, they would have completely ruined me financially. That after my work got us both 750+ credit scores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:51 AM
9

I did not change my name as I was in undergrad and both my ex and are were the "end of the family line". Haven't really thought about what I would do in the future, I think a lot rides on how nice the potential resulting name would be to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:40 AM
9

Yeah I'm really not ecstatic about dating a non homeowner as someone who has been in their own place after divorce for like 3 years. I can't say I'm independent enough to have bought my home alone. I know for my ex home ownership was a huge stressor I didn't expect. One thing that really bugged me about OLD is the amount of men who lie about this. One said "I got this place a few months ago" which to me sounded like obtaining a title not signing a lease. Well anyway apparently since I didn't thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 07:46 AM
7

My pink haired days are over but I'm a feminist. There was no byline in our manifesto about being anti Christmas. Also of note, it's September. Thank you. adjusts mic
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 06:33 AM
7

Want to back up, it's about strength and possible sexual prowess. Dad bods are fine, and indicate a middle of the line approach towards life. Not someone who is in the gym 24/7 but still overweight compared to obese. But no matter what attracts you to them or them to you, being able to maintain similar hobbies (you can be active together and it not be boring) and lifestyle is essential.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 06:34 PM
27

I don't know the area at all but it strikes me that a housing budget of $900 could go a long way towards serene privacy in the area it is advertised (median rent price is close to 1500)? Given the opener, surely just a way to 100% control someone who has at that age been affected by at the very least the patriarchy but the way it's framed probably actually abused. Bottom feeder. Asking to get literally all of his bills paid, chores done and who even cares to know what that sex sitch is finna be.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 09:19 AM
54

Worse what we know about brains indicates its much easier to brainwash than correct the course. The reality is that there is no decent primer on being a gentleman that exists before they get redpilled. Really weird and grotesque stuff is usually said in order to cope with the cognitive dissonance of knowing you should be decent and "knowing" you are owed female attention and ooh look the internet says Roosh knows exactly how to get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:39 AM
5

I as a woman also do not understand this commentary about sexual attraction either. To my purview there isn't as great of a distinction between "nice guys" and straight up chodes as suggested by the 80/20 rule. I don't care about looks much per se, but after meeting at least 100 men on online dating .... I have no example of one who ultimately acted right.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 06:25 AM
18

Just beautiful!! 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 04:58 AM
3

Admittedly I only make do on this one.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 02:59 AM
7

I took lots of stats and summarized a lot of research for my "soft science" masters degree.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 02:11 AM
16

Oh I like you. I'm a mental health counselor and my state is working on logistics post legalization. Cannot wait to help facilitate breakthroughs like what you outlined. Many, many thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:09 AM
38

Yeah I have a neighbor kitty corner who seems to want to do intros after a couple of years. Not interested since I heard him rake his female partner thru the coals. What's that? I should befriend her then? No, I'm a role model in my own fucking house across the street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:29 AM
22

One of many places that would seem benign that I have unsubbed to. They are legion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:24 AM
2

I would be more liable to have one around for protection but my marriage and dating experience indicates a man in my life is someone I'll probably need to be protected from.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 10:01 PM
3

I'm sort of there, though I'm older than the Reddit average. No reason to give it away to the unappreciative, let them eat cake!
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 04:36 AM
12

Second this completely. And so much lying. Half the time about stuff I couldn't care less about. Half the time they were in an established relationship, as one finds out later. Best to leave that 100% alone.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 04:32 AM
50

Per the usual, gamers on the thread I saw it on mentioned that it was controlling and basically grounds for divorce. Fair. But please consider that motivation to go your own way towards a digital life and leave grown ladies who like to maintain tidy homes the heck out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:29 AM
64

I really hate seeing that word here but point taken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:56 PM
35

Maybe it's because I'm so very old but her brain literally ain't fully baked yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:02 PM
163

I'm going to be the odd one and just say it's not always a cover for something sinister. But it's usually myopic in its own right and devoid of intersectionality and nuance. Also so many men are ok, passive or whatever in their actions but let their buddies literally get away with murder. All men benefit from the patriarchy. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 04:48 AM
4

I had one point to add. If they have to close the 5 star restaurant early due to high demand literally everyone would rather starve than go eat the rat shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 07:13 AM
8

Sorry, I was prideful on the bus.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/21 06:12 PM
2

Actually at this point many of us just choose to be blind to both "types".
/r/ExRedPill04/08/21 06:10 PM
3

Not me. I like confident guys but that confidence should come from personal success in a relatively uplifting domain. Not tearing anyone down or being "bad".
/r/ExRedPill04/08/21 06:08 PM
15

Not sure but it's not the first time. I used to work overnights at a residential home through grad school and twice someone called just to pleasure themselves to a female voice. One of the main reasons I quit this newer job is that the boss just made it worse. Giggling, saying we absolutely won't schedule that person then going full circle and asking when/if I would work with them. I've been doing private work along side this job and before that, agency work. So the plan is basically to let my o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 04:03 PM
3

After having been left for non Monogamy by a card carrying Lutheran and strung along by a Catholic guy that had another woman pregnant, I no longer see belief as the green card I once did. Which is very disheartening when it turns out you are somewhat behaviorally conservative but absolutely love people and the idea of connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 05:55 PM
3

100%
/r/ExRedPill06/07/21 03:55 PM
9

Yeah I bet the request truly strikes a ..... nerve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 08:02 PM
14

Yes! I thought years of conversations of "let's buy a house", noting literally everyone said we'd be great parents and outward support of my higher education meant shared goals. Until it proved quite difficult and all of the sudden I had harangued him into self improvement and he needed out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:04 PM
11

Though I am off now, I did some OLD. Rest assured there are many near 50 somethings that don't just want to get romantically involved with college aged girls but act like they are in fact college aged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:00 PM
49

As a person who became less desirable to my partner after grad school, I can say yes, probably in his mind everything should stay status quo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:46 PM
26

Yup. Still haven't met a "knight in shining armor" (lol) but when I was asked to open my marriage I instantly envisioned two futures: one where I got more resentful of actually being alone despite being married and one where I was way happier dating other people and angling towards the big D.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 12:50 AM
28

Interestingly, it was my declining to open the marriage and opting to leave that was the critical issue leading to our divorce drama. Not the many items my ex would go on about to justify the end (including: my lightly mentioning divorce as an option, the fact that I threw a chair once a decade ago and used to be a cutter (as a teen)). But refusing to play mommy after all those terrible things, now that was the dealbreaker. OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:48 PM
3

It was always incredibly important to me to get a grad degree before having kids. Now I understand even more so why. When my less than valuable ex wigged out I could walk away pretty cleanly. Unfortunately not only are we trained to be mothers in waiting but we are expected to mother others well before we hit puberty. A lot of my current thoughts are around wanting more (with less rose tint to my glasses this time).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 04:06 PM
29

Men like me a whole lot when I'm bumpin in my car with my pure feminine energy, listening almost exclusively to vocalists who identify as female. Then we get to talking and they realize I have a master's degree and plan on going back, and their eyes glaze over...... Boy BYE!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 05:08 PM
10

There's actually a strong tendency for women with BPD traits and men with narcissist tendencies to match up. I'm wondering how many of those "nice guys" have covert narc qualities.
/r/ExRedPill15/06/21 05:38 PM
9

Even my male cat has more audacity than should even be allowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:14 PM
38

Yours matches my personal experience. But there's a lot of self selection in couples who come to see me and I'd say trying to figure it out before taking action is one differentiating activity many curious couples and partners don't partake in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:10 PM
103

Openness to other people's experiences is part of what makes me a great counselor. That said, from what I have seen as a couples counselor for predominantly straight dyads, it's often a woman wanting to open a relationship due to not feeling like they are enough for a male partner and/or not having their emotional or other needs met. For myself, I would rather invest in a closed circuit whether that means with someone who steps up when one of us is unfulfilled, or in lieu of that, just my damn s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:39 PM
8

I think part of it is also wanting to become a fantasy father and lacking all necessary ingredients and knowledge of what actually supporting actual peers would look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:11 PM
4

The worst for me was it started below the neck, then I had a frizzy head hair halo which is finally growing out after 4 years. I do want more.... I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:31 PM
20

Ayup. The person I fancied the most who happened to have someone else was much more established than I. Well. As time marches on I'm becoming more established in less time. So it appears he would have needed to be cut off anyway!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:08 PM
4

It would be super helpful if everyone can just listen.to.women. I'm a person educated in human behavior. To constantly see my own and other women's knowledge and experience questioned for no reason other than patriarchal garbage is, well.... garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:14 PM
35

Well when my betrothed found time for them and not me and baby, it was pretty clear that my limit had been reached. Tolerated a lot until then. It wasn't helpful my having an alcoholic mother who could (in her own words) "outdrink any man". Seemed more like unrealistic expectations for what family life is to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:04 AM
26

Yes! And thanks for shouting from the rooftops! I am encouraging literally everyone I know to change anything in their lives that isn't working. My industry is offering thousands in bonuses and people seem very keen to keep money in the community/get paid by people who also value them. Hooray!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:58 AM
17

The tone is like an edgelord The Office.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:14 AM
9

Honestly I have gone to dark places and really thought about selling myself. I still do sell my time and a certain level of energy. Truly have no shade to throw, hell, one reason I got married young was to not explain that my parents were no help to me at that time when applying for FAFSA. But slowly, surely, I am getting as far as most people want to in my profession. I'm not out there making LLCs but literally have talked to three good friends in the past week about combining forces in busines…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:52 AM
49

Tonight I went down the rabbit hole of our Fandom and honestly this is one thought that keeps coming back. We manage one hundred times the negativity and yet still are literally not safe or are believed. And still work, maintain ourselves, stay connected, and are fun and challenging. So not all men are trolling us with alts or calling us entitled bitches. 97% of the violence is on your gender, broskis. Life is not your vidya.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:00 AM
2

My ex and I were poor. I got more education which made him feel like I got too fancy for him and he wanted a fun and free person instead. I just wanted him to spend less than he made.
/r/ExRedPill04/06/21 05:50 AM
2

A woman's orgasm and organism are never irrelevant. winks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:54 AM
16

The more I think about having another kid (mine was planned, the other parties weird birth related midlife crisis was not), the more I think about a nanny and a sperm bank. And I adore sex, just haven't really found a decent match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:33 AM
10

No but they sure love milf porn.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/21 11:32 PM
35

Well cited and articulated. Just brilliant. ♡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:20 PM
5

Just want to say, I'm familiar with this site in the field of social work and counseling. I absolutely recommend this info sheet as well as their volumes of free worksheets. One of the best things about this field is, day after day of showing these to people who will do anything to ease their suffering makes it near impossible not to pick up a thing or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:03 PM
10

Best non fiction I have read in a while. So insightful. This absolutely reflects my lived experience and it's unbelievable how much give I'm still expected to provide in society as a HVW. Granted experience and education increased my value, and my ex cited my higher education as a main reason we grew apart. Hey, I never asked him to be a stepping stone. Him clowning with ladies on a karaoke app did. Still have a screenshot of them singing together sitting on my bed. He's ever so nice to me now y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:21 PM
13

Good thing we aren't about stoppin!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:03 PM
11

Oh Canada!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:02 PM
29

Yup, after I realized several of my crushes or mainstays were "taken", I deleted and never looked back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:29 AM
12

This is gold. Thank you so much for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:23 PM
4

Oooh thanks for reminding me. Second this rec!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:19 PM
11

So I was recently trolled off of a chat server I really enjoyed. The main element that made me leave was being put in a 2 dimensional box by (lower) middle class cis het white men. For some reason the main covert harassers actually have memoriams of my chosen screen name about a week later. Gosh, that sure feels good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:00 AM
17

My membership here is making me think about perhaps as a therapist, focusing on women's issues. I don't give advice and I don't give tips for future scenarios. My style is much more forensic, dissecting what clear decision was made and why it was when set against the other options. I'm not apt to question another therapist's style but it sounds like that's the work you did. When male friends suggest to me, a master's level clinician, that I should tell grown men who are dating (me) how to act ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:21 PM
37

One of my last serious crushes ended when I realized the person I liked sort of complained about everyone in his life. It wasn't whiny so much as confiding in me for emotional labor but I figured dollars to donuts I'd be on the other side of that eventually if we stayed connected and, well, I've already experienced that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:08 PM
19

Truly I wish that I had felt it was an option but the #1 reason I couldn't commit to that field when I was choosing was the ol boys club feeling. I do hope that there is more gender equality in all domains, especially careers, and respect those ladies who have been trailblazing in STEM, historically and current day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 05:58 PM
35

Honestly I think tech salaries have had a terrible impact on society at all levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:24 PM
47

Savings won't matter much when he leaves because she dares to ask him to do his own laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:23 PM
11

My family is not incredibly well off but there are assets I forget not everyone has when I speak of my experiences in casual conversation, let alone mutual vetting. It has been pointed out that it can sound like bragging, but on the other hand I imagine it could also sound an awful lot like opportunity. This idea further informs how close my cards should be held.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:19 PM
29

This seems like the major thing I keep coming back to. Most men have no business dating and its unlikely at this late stage that 99% will ever be worthy of the title available (and ime half of the men I've dated ended up being some level of actually single- if you still have a house in name with your ex wife or are resentfully helping raise her kid with another cos you're the only dad they've ever known, or actually married, take your damn self OUT of the pool!). Then sometimes they recognize th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:59 PM
108

I have had so many conversations with woke men about the bare minimum most passably "attractive" women get to spend in money and time to be such. Somehow this is the most easily dismissed argument when its the very reason 50/50 is a no go, it's a clear showing of how unequal the whole beauty/femininity dynamic is, as well as the sheer hypocrisy of mens demands. So what I'm hearing is 1- be hot, but 2- not on my dime. Cool, this leaves literally no reason to mess with most males!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:24 PM
6

What the eff else did you think?? Oh yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:40 AM
28

I'm a driven person but this is a losing race, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:28 AM
33

Every single time I think to check the joins increase by a hundred or so. 200,000 is the next stop!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:27 AM
15

It could be helpful for research but as someone about a year off of the apps the amount of unpleasant hindsight this could produce seems just untenable. Maybe after another year off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:51 PM
77

Recently I came across an email where my ex stressed to a mortgage refinance guy that I as the wife do all our budgeting when the guy just wanted a check stub. Dummy doesn't even have a copy of our divorce decree. Which yes, I wrote entirely because he was checked out with his "fun" fantasy person at the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:32 PM
5

Yup, once I realized that I was willingly getting played and weaned myself off of the steamy chemicals it became impossible to look for "the fast food of sex". I do have a drive that seems higher but it no longer controls me. I like cheesecake too but I don't have it every day even though I can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:58 AM
2

And they wonder why it's no longer given freely....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:54 AM
33

I can disassociate my feelings more or less but I no longer wish to. Also it's super easy for me to orgasm which always gives way to more pride than earned. And made me have a moment where I realized there is just no point to fraternizing right now. I also noticed that it felt better when I had true feelings, so if my options are one sided feelings, or nothing of note at all towards my betterment then I'd rather stay single or wait for some damn fireworks with someone vetted, if it happens. All …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:20 PM
1

I'm a bit older than many here and I feel like I've been through this a couple times. My friend group is a mixture of newly met badass babes and people who I do trust from different times/parts of my life, not because I tested them but because time shows character. The remaining friends I am getting to expose FDS principles to and as I focus on self improvement in noticeable ways, they naturally get curious. But they, despite having traits I do not always love, have generally been vetted over a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:30 PM
11

Awesome points!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:21 AM
55

As someone who grew up in a high trauma household and now works as a counselor, I appreciate your wish to look at the situation you are in and came from. I'm a first generation college grad and hoping to get my PhD soon. My mom came from a lot of ick and my dad, as privileged as he is, just never understood how hard any of this is. Making something of yourself out of nothing. Of course we do everything in our queendom to survive. The world needs you to bridge this gap. No pressure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:45 PM
176

The worst OLD story I have is from Bumble. In this case, someone looking for a "marriage minded" type, was allegedly religious, not particularly a red flag to me. We seem to share values, similar career, homeowners in the same areaish. It was pretty clear when we slept together that there was some level of porn sickness, but I was pretty sprung. After he ghosted, I saw him on my local reddit sub page and saw in his history he had a woman at the time we dated who was pregnant. His main concern wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:59 PM
8

Gosh I appreciate this reframe. My support system, which I have worked tirelessly to maintain, is the only way I survive being a single mom (and while my previous husband was a LVM the worst of his traits came through after the birth of our child). These OLD guys want only my sex from my experience, and think I should be grateful for their mediocrity. Ha. Add value to my life or get nothing, it's deceivingly simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:17 PM
15

Yeah I really had a hard time understanding how after 15 years my ex turned around and decided I was too naggy. We had a pretty privileged spot because of my hard work and keep it togetherness. But I was still pretty doggone fun. I look and feel ten times better now and if I need it done I DIY or hire it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 05:34 AM
21

It's such a double edged sword to be independent and outwardly happy (ie. non harpy) though because it hurts male fee fees just in general and if you happen to be single and/or available, LVMs will glom on for dear life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:26 PM
51

My ex asked for an open marriage. I said I refuse to earn over half, run circles around him and let him openly have sex with others. Divorced for 2 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:16 AM
12

I've literally faced rejection by openly expressing interest in several men in the last couple years. Graciously they've all rejected me, as in retrospect none were high value, just accessible. Can't imagine that warping me into incel territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:26 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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