TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

AmicusStyli Archive

View 0 posts and 108 comments by AmicusStyli on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

Where did OP say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:02 AM
11

How long should men unilaterally support women's issues without women supporting men's issues back before the men decide we're already in the law of the jungle? The feminist movement is now over a century old. Multiple generations of men have been born, lived their entire lives, and died since then and we still are no closer to a mutually supportive gender equality movement. At a certain point I think you have to accept that this attitude is just enabling the problem and that men need to stop fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:18 PM
4

If it's an unfair biased generalization then it's the generalizers ruining it for everyone, not the small minority. That's my whole point, no one makes anyone generalize, they choose to do that themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 06:29 PM
12

No, I'm referring to the comments I've actually heard repeatedly both online and offline. Men can talk about how their dating struggles are all their fault and not get criticized, but that isn't actually true so they can't talk about their actual dating experiences which do involve systemic factors
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:54 PM
3

The narrative being an untrue negative generalization about men is definitionally based in misandry. I don't have evidence of what is going on in their heads, it's a description of the behavior. For it not to based in misandry it would have to be true
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:51 PM
5

Of which part? That basing your views of a demographic group on a small minority is a false generalization?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:37 PM
14

I've been watching it happen to men who struggle with dating in general everywhere I've ever been my whole life. Blaming it on the small subset of men who behave badly is a post hoc rationalization meant to excuse the misandry
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:35 PM
7

The narrative didn't start with a few bad actors ruining it, it started with misandrists already believing those things about men who struggle with dating and then looking for evidence to prove themselves right. It's not based on pattern recognition because the pattern is the opposite of the narrative but people believe it anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:31 PM
10

The number of men responding that way is a small subset of the men who struggle with dating, but all men who struggle with dating face that narrative. The generalization of those men as bad people is what make it moralizing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:20 PM
4

The "reaction" often isn't actually happening, it's being made up as a way to moralize the men who have difficulty being selected
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:17 PM
23

People say that men who struggle with dating are automatically bad people all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:15 PM
2

It's the fault of the people who drove them to be suicidal. Some of those people are women
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:28 PM
1

Population level differences in how often demographic group get killed is evidence of hate against the group getting killed more often. It's not about individual cases, it's about systemic trends
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:27 PM
1

I've lived in a few different left-leaning parts of the United States, and the majority of women that I encountered in all of those places would only date provider men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:09 PM
4

Trad gender roles is exactly what it is. A lot of people of both genders have been raised since childhood to view trad gender roles as natural and correct, and have since internalized those norms and will defend them as if opposing those norms is an attack against who they are as people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 08:37 PM
1

It was a societal norm that was enforced on me and the boys/men around me. It isn't the same everywhere like you said, which is actually part of my reason for viewing it as a social norm, since I don't think it would make sense for different societies and cultures to have such vastly different approaches to these issues if everyone was just making individual choices. I'm glad you got to date in a more 50/50 environment though, I really do have no problem with provider type relationship dynamics …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:03 PM
1

When it came to the dating norms placed on women like the expectation to bear kids the societal response wasn't to tell them nothing could be done and that they needed to accept it, instead there were large scale societal movements to acknowledge and oppose those norms. On the basis of gender equality men deserve the same. We can fall back on personal preference once everyone is allowed to engage in personal preference without interference from sexists, but that isn't the situation today.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:41 PM
1

The problem as a man who doesn't want to be the provider is that this was demanded and expected of me. I don't care how you and your partner live your lives except for how it affects me, and the normalization of these types of dynamics on the basis of gender has affected me significantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:02 PM
0

Men discuss systemic issues when, where, and with whom they feel safe. If YOU never hear men talking about that except as whataboutisms, you should consider what message your sending to the men around you that makes none of them feel safe discussing these types of issues in front you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 09:23 PM
-1

Being male
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:15 PM
-1

I just explained how I'm not and how that's what I want
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:14 PM
1

Do you think women living in a societal with heavily enforced social norms expecting them to be stay at home moms are "free" to date who and how they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:12 PM
2

Thanks for providing an example of the sexist stereotypes that make it artificially harder for me to date
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:37 PM
1

The people I want to date are people who haven't been indoctrinated to view me as lesser on the basis of my immutable characteristics, and the way I want to date is in a society that doesn't indoctrinate others to view me as lesser on the basis of my immutable characteristics. I can't do either of those things because of the societal indoctrination
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:02 PM
1

Because I everyone around were indoctrinated into into sexist dating norms from the time we were children in order to override our free will and consent. I never consented to be treated this way on the basis of my gender and I never would
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:56 PM
0

We already have a society that ignores individual consent and forces societal norms in the context of dating, that's the whole problem. I'm not free to date who and how I want in a society that indoctrinated me and everyone around me into sexist dating norms from the time we were children.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:52 PM
1

I agree that we don't need Andrew Tate, he is awful for everyone and needs to be condemned. Men's Rights can't be focused on dating, but it has to include it. The way men are discriminated against in society causing dating struggles is a huge part of the male loneliness epidemic and the male suicide epidemic. You can't separate one of the fundamental parts of human health and happiness from the equality discussion and still end up with equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 05:43 PM
1

Do you have links to any of that research? I'd be interested in reading it, although the papers I have read making those arguments tend to intentionally sample particular non-representative communities or make leaps in logic such as that opposition to feminism is rooted in misogyny, which I don't view very highly. I've seen enough observable evidence to convince me that the external view is not reasonable, such as studies finding incels are not particularly right wing (https://liberalarts.utexas…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:01 PM
2

The description you listed of the ecosystem isn't neutral, factual information, it's your individual view point of the ecosystem, which falls prey to the internal-external disagreement. You're starting from an assumption that the ecosystem is accurately described by the external viewpoint, but you didn't prove it, which is only going to be convincing to people with the external viewpoint. The reason I'm falling back on abstraction is that neither of us has presented any concrete evidence at this…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 07:00 PM
2

I'm not conflating those things, you're the one who said it was the ultimate test so I was pointing out that your argument doesn't hold up under your own logic. To address your actual argument more specifically, the issue is you resolve the disconnect mentioned above by assuming the external view of the manosphere is correct, i.e. that it is right wing. There's no particular reason to take that side, and especially when false, negative out group biases are so extremely common.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:37 PM
-1

What data shows a persistent overlap between the manosphere and right wing ideologies? The data I've seen on the specific political beliefs of men in manosphere communities shows a wide spread of political beliefs with some communities like incels leaning slightly left.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:05 PM
2

I've seen red, blue, purple, and black pillers with views all over the political spectrum. I think you're ironically failing you're own test; you're view of manosphere communities is absolutely not one that the men in those communities would agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:58 PM
3

Blatantly untrue. I've had emotionally intimate relationships with other men constantly throughout my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:21 PM
–

That was the pre-text for passing Title IX, but in the years since it was passed the gender gap in college closed, re-opened, and is now larger than it was prior. One specific issue is that Title IX administrators accept disparate impact as evidence of discrimination against women but not as evidence of discrimination against men, so when men bring up similar types and amounts of evidence nothing actually happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:39 PM
–

I do think personal responsibility and agency are important, I never said otherwise. You're the one who is refusing to engage with the topic and pivoting to a strawman. OP's post is explicitly about men taking responsibility and agency, he stated that multiple times.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:32 PM
–

Men are struggling in these areas because systemic misandry is rampant and men are discriminated against by the people who hold power in these areas. For example with the education system, many men experience hostile sexism coming from teachers and administrators that prevents them equal access, which was relatively easy to understand when it was women talking about it, and the solution is similar as in that case: acknowledge the disparate impact and sue/fire teachers and administrators who crea…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:28 PM
–

Feminists don't treat people of all genders with basic respect, that's a huge part of why this valid complaint keeps getting brought up. Feminist Title IX policy privileging women in education took away my right to be treated equally in the education system.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:14 PM
–

That wasn't a direct and important question, it was a straw man that you asked in order to deflect from the topics OP brought up in his post. He doesn't have a responsibility to engage with your points when you're refusing to engage with his first
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:09 PM
7

It was a pretty obvious attempt at a Gotcha
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:46 PM
7

There are a lot of manipulative human beings, and men are half of them
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:38 PM
5

This doesn't really make sense, men's dating struggles and the mistreatment they receive in dating aren't because they date women, it's because of misandry. Why would that affect lesbian/bi women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:35 PM
12

Both sides of the political spectrum hold the women-are-wonderful bias and believe that women are the arbiters of morality in society. Incels are a direct challenge to that belief by showing that women make the exact same types of superficial decisions in dating that men do. The cognitive dissonance that creates would be best dealt with by those people re-examining their preconceived notions about the genders, but as is often the case with deeply held beliefs being challenged the much more commo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/05/26 03:00 PM
1

Being desired isn’t what leads to the objectification, being a man is. If anything poor and unattractive men get treated even more like objects
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 02:21 AM
1

I see, sorry for misinterpreting you. I do think that if you want to understand where these men are coming from, the context of men being the primary victims of violence in general is very important, especially considering men don't receive the type of societal support and empathy for that problem that they are being asked to show for women experiencing dating violence. It unfortunately leads to a race to the bottom mentality a lot of the time, but so does the double standard of caring about a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:55 PM
1

My point is that you're comparing dating experiences, and they're comparing experiences of objectification. And since they're heavily related, you can't understand them as separate points without the context of the other
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:46 PM
5

Except "women face more violence from men in greater numbers and more often than men" isn't true. Men are the majority of victims of violence perpetrated by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 05:58 PM
2

Men being objectified leads to more violence against men than women overall, so even if the IPV was more heavily against women (which seems increasingly to not be the case according to the studies I've seen, although I'll admit it's hard to tell with how under reported it is for everyone), being sexually objectified still seems better to a lot of men than they way they are objectified now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 05:53 PM
5

They may not feel desire themselves, but they are desired by the men, which leads to the sexual objectification but also leads to the good relationships a lot of women have. It's a package deal. Meanwhile I don't receive monetary or in kind compensation for being objectified as a labor object, in fact I'm expected to be the one giving monetary or in kind compensation, so there is no silver lining.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 05:37 PM
41

I agree with you in the abstract, but I think the sentiment is more relative. Men also get objectified, just in different ways (usually as a provider/labor object), and given that the feminists talking about objectification were also the people constantly talking about how women have it worse than men, it's pretty natural for those men to make a comparison in response. And yes, some men have decided they would rather be sexually objectified with the silver lining of being more desired that that …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:19 PM
2

Blue pill is defined as the dominant cultural viewpoint, the definition of "not red pill" is a deflection coming from people who hold that viewpoint. And blue pillers have been telling me my whole life that I deserve to be alone for not meeting the norms expected of me and that the bad men are selecting themselves out of the gene pool. All parts of the manosphere, including the red pill, are some of the most diverse, decentralized things that are considered a single thing. Your straw man definit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:47 PM
7

The provider role is is based in the belief that men exist as labor objects to provide material goods for women as opposed to full human beings, which is inherently based in hatred of men. Allowing circumcision on boys but banning it on girls is based in the belief that boys have less of a right to bodily automony than girls, which is inherently based in hatred of men. If they were byproducts of patriarchal norms feminists in general would be fighting them, but most feminists I have heard speak …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:33 PM
1

The United States at least
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:29 PM
1

Blue pillers are the dominant cultural group that thinks men like me who don't meet the dominant cultural norms deserve to be selected out of the gene pool, who are really the hateful ones here?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:26 PM
1

Comparing egalitarians opposing misandry to Nazis is wildly hateful and inaccurate
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:04 PM
1

I'm uncomfortable with women quotas because there are no equivalent men quotas. I agree that the issue is more complex than it is made out to be, but the evidence I've seen overwhelmingly points to men now being excluded from female-dominated fields more heavily than the reverse, partly because women quotas in male-dominated fields have actually worked pretty well. I think you can argue for quotas or no quotas and really get down into the weeds, but the status quo of "quotas for women, no quotas…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:38 PM
8

The bill passed with broad support from both parties, the feminists in Congress had a chance to stand up for the gender equality they claim to believe in and choose not to
/r/MensRights10/04/26 02:37 PM
3

Maybe I should clarify, it isn't about believing individual accounts without evidence, i.e. they aren't advocating for getting rid of innocent until proven guilty. Is that what you mean? I'm not sure I understand your point
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:23 PM
2

We're all living in our own reality these days, but that's what the feminists I've spoken to have said
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 08:34 PM
4

I was called lazy and stupid when I opened up about my problems, and Ive seen it happen a lot to other men as well. There has been a more recent push to get men to open up, but what we really need is a push for other people to listen to the men opening up. There are also patterns backed by evidence when it comes to misandry, the people oversimplifying it into a "victim narrative" are the people who don't want to look at that evidence, not the men talking about their lived experiences and providi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 08:32 PM
11

You know how the feminist "Believe Women" slogan wasn't about believing individual accounts, it was about how lots of women all giving similar accounts of misogyny over a long time frame is in and of itself evidence that misogyny exists, and how it's obviously sexist for men to come to the conclusion that all of those women are lying or too stupid to understand the world around them? It's exactly like that. For example, lots of men have been talking for decades about how men don't open up becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:38 PM
3

Is it that you can't find anyone doing that, or is it that it challenges your world view so you dismiss it immediately like you're doing to me right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:55 PM
3

My relatives, other students, other students relatives, teachers, administrators, coworkers, politicians, media, therapists, men/women, young/old, left/right, religious/non-religious, feminist/tradcon. Everyone everywhere. It's the default advice in the society I grew up in. I don't know which poll your referring to, but I have seen blue pillers here give that advice quite a lot, it's literally happening in the comments to this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:20 PM
–

Feminist Title IX policy that has made the college gender gap larger now than it was before the legislation was passed, just in the opposite direction
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:05 PM
5

To be clear I knew pretty early on that things didn't actually work that way, but I did have that idea pushed on me. I'm glad you didn't though, I honestly do wish I had the experiences other people here have had, it's definitely more of a world I wanna live in
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 10:44 PM
6

Sure, I've seen that. I would say from my experience that they're primed to view things that way from experiences similar to mine, but you could make that argument for the other side of it as well. I'm not really trying to say my experience is universal per se, I don't think it is and I think I've probably had a bunch of bad luck, so I do understand that other people will legitimately not know what I'm talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 10:38 PM
9

Ya, of course not. They never went into the complicated details, because then they wouldn't be able to convince themselves themselves that the world was just
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 10:32 PM
9

I'm not talking about saying someone has a bad personality, they were very explicit that they meant morally. I was repeatedly told women liked men who were kind, sensitive, understanding, empathic and disliked men who were entitled, misogynistic, arrogant, selfish. When I tried to bring up other things like charisma, social skills, confidence, looks, etc., I was explicitly told I was a bad person for thinking women view men that way and that them being able to tell I viewed women that way was th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:57 PM
1

No, the fallacy is pretending that we already have a healthy society and that therefore the people society rejects must be unhealthy
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:18 PM
26

"If you are good you will get a woman" was the vast majority of dating advice I got from every non-manosphere source everywhere I've been my entire life
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:17 PM
–

The negative effects of capitalism do negatively affect men's dating lives (and in other ways), but the main issue negatively impacting men's dating lives is systemic misandry through the sexist expectations we are held to, which is the case even in less or non-capitalist societies. Also, the left refusing to acknowledge systemic misandry drives men away and into the arms of the capitalists, so the issues feed into each other anyway. It has nothing to do with women voting, I don't know where tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:53 PM
3

They don't acknowledge the way that society discriminates against men in particular, which has a much greater effect on men's dating struggles than capitalism does. Men talking about these issues is them trying to help fix structural issues, just not ones that you personally care about
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:31 PM
1

You define it the way it was originally defined: as the mainstream societal views on dating that most people hold across the political spectrum. It's definitionally the most widespread, cohesive dating ideology that exists
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:18 PM
1

No it doesn't, blackpill heavily pushes self-improvement, it just reserves it for the parts of dating that blackpillers struggle with most, i.e. looks Rejecting the types of improvement that red and blue pillers say black pillers need isn't the same as rejecting self-improvement in general
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:15 PM
1

I define "pushing boundaries" as something akin to "testing boundaries", and not something more like "crossing boundaries", which it seems like is the distinction you're making? I think we all define/attach connotations to the term based on what is most relevant to our lived experience. As a man who has been expected to test boundaries as part of my assigned gender role in dating but who doesn't crossed established boundaries once I know them, it's more relevant for me to have a term for the for…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:57 PM
1

I guess I believe we can have women in the workplace and get rid of the new sexism against men as well. Maybe I'm naive but I don't see an alternative that I could be happy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:51 PM
13

I've only ever lived in very blue areas completely surrounded by feminists, and none of that happened. Hooks ups have always existed and most men still can't get them, child support and alimony still exist and are disproportionately enforced on men, and gender roles haven't gotten less heavily enforced (and oftentimes have been enforced on me by feminists). Also feminism getting replaced doesn't mean it would get replaced by something better, trad con blue pillers are even worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:42 PM
4

I think it's fairly common for both men and women to make those types of trade-off comparisons for their partners. I do think the parts you're talking about are criticized way less than the ways men do this to women, which is a lot of the reason why they continue to persist so strongly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:03 PM
2

What parts do you want to abandon though? I view my agenda as an alternative to feminism that still fights against sexism and gender roles, and I fully concede that the future may not look like that, but I'll certainly still be fighting for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:59 PM
5

Ya, that was a big part of what drove me out of the feminist movement. I spent years supporting feminist anti-misogyny causes, but when I eventually tried to speak up about the way I was facing sexism and tried to get support I faced the accusations you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:56 PM
2

There are definitely men who are just selfish and sexist, and I'm sorry they held you to unfair standards. I do still think there are plenty of men who are like I described though, and I think it would be a lot more productive for feminists to work with them rather than against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:47 PM
9

Agreed, you need to look at the alternatives they're actually presented with. There are plenty of men who would prefer equality to everyone having gendered expectations, but who would rather everyone have them than the current feminist-style gender norms for men but not for women. I don't see a way forward from this until feminists are willing to accept that we need to get rid of the gender norms for men that women like and benefit from as well as the "toxic" ones
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:07 PM
0

Thanks for providing another example.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 03:38 AM
2

Thank you, I appreciate it, and I'm sure your clients do too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 03:35 AM
7

They aren't telling me to ignore red flags, they're telling me it's not a red flag when it happens to me, because of my gender. Examples would be things like how women expecting me to follow sexist, traditional gender norms like paying for the first date aren't red flags that she's a sexist, it's just women's preferences and "how to treat a lady", or how when I tried to talk about how those gender norms were harming my mental health that I was a whiny loser, or how when my ex-gf used to hit me I…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 12:18 AM
5

The "choose better" narrative is a direct backlash to how men are systemically treated by almost everyone. It's unfortunate and unhelpful, but it's understandable considering men are told to "choose better" constantly our entire lives. We are absolutely not allowed to ignore glaring red flags, we're just expected to deal with them and are called misogynists and incels if we speak up about how awful it is to be treated this way. The only place men are consistently considered the victims is in onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 07:52 PM
3

It was a fair assumption tbh :/
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/26 06:24 PM
2

It still kinda blows my mind that in a country where the two parties don't agree on almost anything, the one thing they do usually agree on is that men don't deserve support. This bill has bi-partisan sponsors which is a little encouraging, although I do doubt it will pass
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/26 06:23 PM
5

Rep. Troy Carter is a Democrat fwiw (Rep. Greg Murphy is a Republican though)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/26 06:22 PM
1

Well, except for having the societal support that women have, hence why charities could help with that
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 10:50 PM
1

Assaulted and received less support up to and including victim blaming for my gender, held to gender norms as harshly as my female peers but was called a virgin/misogynist/incel when I tried to speak about it, dealt with the hostile school environment for boys that has repeatedly been shown to result in worse outcomes than women faced prior to Title IX, etc. Also, if I asked you how you were possibly discriminated against for being female, would you hear me out, or would you assume I hadn't list…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 07:41 PM
1

You can also not have systemic power and yet constantly be told you do. Are white men in power, or are upper middle class, religious, cis het, married white men who don't oppose gender norms in power? I had the same chance of being elected to a major public office as most people: zero. Meanwhile I was heavily discriminated against for being male in ways that destroyed my mental health as a child by by basically everyone; men/women, black/white/Asian/hispanic/etc, left/right, tradcon/feminist, re…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 12:18 AM
0

I have never heard someone who believes in the Patriarchy acknowledge the existence of systemic misandry, so they definitely are not the same. And women had male support in fighting against misogyny from the very beginning of the feminist movement, including from non-feminist egalitarian men. A position that destroys you cannot be a privilege. The fact that you can believe this when it comes to men is the systemic misandry that I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:50 PM
1

Fight to end the systemic misandry that leads to men having sexist, unjustified gender norms placed on them which leads to a lot of the lack of success. Same thing charities actually did for women who were facing sexist gender norms in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:21 PM
2

I think it's important and takes effort but isn't hard per se. The hardest part for me has always been getting people to give me a chance, once I have a foot in the door it's actually up to me and how much effort I feel like the relationship is worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 03:47 PM
8

The lack of symmetry in these explanations is always telling. When women abandon dating apps and go for offline dating it's because dating apps are a worse environment for them, but when men abandon offline dating for dating apps it can't be because offline dating is a worse environment for them, it must be back they're lazy sex addicts. It's clear that the author doesn't view men as full human beings in the same way that they do women.
/r/MensRights25/02/26 09:43 PM
3

When women talk about the way they're treated unfairly in dating on the basis of their gender it's "advocacy", when men do it it's "complaining". There's no proper way for men to discuss these issues that won't get them labelled as whiny losers
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:05 PM
–

I don't take caution around women nor do I want to. It harms them and doesn't help me, and I don't see how it's any different the other way around. The idea that viewing men as an inherent threat until proven otherwise keeps you safe is something I see repeated a lot, but it's basically the exact opposite of how I keep myself safe. If you view men as a monolith it makes it even harder to identify the individual men who will actually harm you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 07:55 PM
8

That certainly plays a role, but with some extremely rare exceptions those women have also had thousands upon thousands of neutral or good interactions with men during that time period. Defining a group by your worst interactions with the worst of them them is already hate and discrimination.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 06:13 PM
29

But there are plenty of women who have bad experiences with men and don't become misandrists, so what drives that difference? It's the same with men I think, men having bad experiences with misandrist women is unfortunately common, but some turn out to be misogynists and some don't. It feels like we need to look past the initial encounters to really understand these issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 05:54 PM
–

I believe that both of those things have happened, but I also have spent years processing the way I feel about it in order not to take it out on random women who aren't responsible. That's what I want to see out of others if I'm going to believe they care about the other gender
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 05:26 PM
-2

For me it was 17. I was shopping for groceries and stopped to help a lost young girl crying in an aisle with no parents in sight. I had just started to calm her down when a women came running down the aisle screaming about how I was a child molester and to get away from her. Her false accusation got the attention of what I can only describe as a lynch mob (of both men and women) forming who began to threaten me physically, including threatening my life. I ended up leaving my groceries in the ais…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:46 PM
1

I agree with a lot of this, but to also agree with OP I don't think this is something that is only inflicted on women and is not really gendered. Men have our own unique gender roles that we are expected to deal with the emotional labor of (your example of being expected to continue working after your child was born for example), but the general advice to men is to cut those people out of your life if they're harming you (like you did by leaving). So why is the expectation on society to fix wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 09:27 PM
1

I see a decent amount of non-relationship advice for men that I do think is like what you describe, but for me the relationship advice tends to dance around the gendered components of heterosexual dating too much to be really useful. Like, I'm not a perfect communicator by any means, and I could always use more understanding of women's perspectives, but I've had good platonic relationships with female family, friends, and coworkers my whole life and that never translated naturally into dating su…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 08:32 PM
1

What does wholesome mean in this context though? I know that misogyny and nihilism exist in online spaces focused on men's dating struggles and I don't have a problem with trying to correct that, but a lot of the "wholesome" advice I see seems to fall heavily into the other end of the spectrum with toxic positivity and refusing to acknowledge that there's an underlying problem that women contribute to. Progressive and feminist men don't deserve to be called simps for discussing these issues from…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:59 PM
2

The examples he gave for men are the standard, normal advice I saw men get from basically every part of society. Left/right, men/women, online/offline, feminist/tradcon, it's "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" all the way down. Manosphere communities are basically the only places I've seen anyone consistently acknowledge that part of men's dating problems are environmental and not purely their fault, but that gets falsely spun as if that advice says to blame society for everything, because th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:43 PM
2

What statistical generalization? I responded to an anecdote with an anecdote. I definitely need sources from people claiming to base their comments on sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 03:34 PM
24

I observe and perceive the women around me performing deductive reasoning all the time. I do not observe and perceive redpillers citing sources and statistics almost ever. I do not observe and perceive the redpill having any positivistic foundation at all. I also acknowledge that what I observe and perceive are individual data points that need to placed in the context of the rest of the data. Your belief that what you personally observe and perceive is inherently correct is actually you failing …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 07:35 PM
2

The blue pill is basically "heteronormative gender norms" surrounding dating. It's the mainstream views of dating that are commonly held by most people coupled with the Just World Fallacy that those views are good and right and correct, e.g. that men should initiate romantic relationships, that women don't care about physical attraction like men do, that male sexuality is gross and corrupting, that men who oppose being held to sexist gender norms surrounding dating are whiny losers who deserve w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 07:41 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter