~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Man I cratered the reboundHappens to the best of us, man. Usually multiple times lol. You seem to have a great attitude about it though and are taking it on the chin with some healthy self-reflection, so hats off to you for that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/25 02:39 PM |
| 6 | Marriage is the biggest dice roll everRight because men bad women good Also women strong & independent and boss-girl but also perpetual victims when contextually convenient | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 10:04 PM |
| 1 | Marriage is the biggest dice roll everOutstanding and accurate post. Not a word in there that I disagree with! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 10:01 PM |
| 12 | Marriage is the biggest dice roll everI feel for you, man. Speaking from firsthand experience, too. Mine was sweet as pie during our many years of being boyfriend/girlfriend and engaged. Vetted her well (or at least I thought I did). After marriage she went totally apeshit, like completely nut-nut. Personality went off the deep end. Then of course during the divorce, she went for the jugular. Never taking that risk ever again. Ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 09:58 PM |
| 1 | Met a girl - in love - she says she will sign a prenupThe juice still isn’t worth the squeeze, imho. Considering how most women want to date up (especially socioeconomically), men typically simply have far more to lose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/25 09:00 PM |
| 0 | Met a girl - in love - she says she will sign a prenupWhy not simply have a committed relationship without signing a state-drafted contract? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/25 03:11 AM |
| 11 | Met a girl - in love - she says she will sign a prenupDude. WHY get married? No, really, have you truly thought about it? What problem does getting married solve for you? Answer that first in an honest manner. How would marriage serve YOU in a substantive way (that being in a non-state-invited committed relationship wouldn’t)? Even with a prenup, you’re inviting a shit ton of complications, unnecessary risk, and boxing your future self in. In my opinion, marriage in 2025 is a scam and a joke sold to gullible men. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/25 03:09 AM |
| 1 | Had emotional affair on wife, she left, seeking perspectiveThe immature side of me lol’ed at this. All laughs aside though, men are far more hurt by cheating women if she has sex with another dude. All the details of the imagined (or confessed) physical details drive him nuts. On the other hand, women are far more hurt by cheating men if he has an emotional closeness with another woman. Women tend to be far more concerned with how often/regularly her husband and the other woman talk, if he loves her, if he took the other woman to that special Italian re… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/25 03:15 AM |
| 12 | Sex during separation/divorceYou are lining yourself up to be proper fucked (and not in the way you might want) down the road if you indulge in this. Best case scenario is that it prolongs the pain and jealousy and unhealthy attachment. Worst case scenario is SA/grape accusations and a complete upending of your life as you know it. Listen man, you actually already know all of this. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know I’m right. Yet I think, based on the fact that you’ve continued to ask others, you may simply be mak… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 02:51 PM |
| 10 | Coming to grips with it all...Couldn’t have said it better myself. The entire post reeks of OP trying to appease his unappeasable wife, over many many years, thinking that’s the key. Meanwhile, her resentment and disrespect towards him accumulates each time, and he doubles down on his delusion that he has to be the one to fall on the sword in some vague belief of nobility or honor or duty or some bullshit. It never, ever works. The stories and patterns are always strikingly similar. The only variables that change are the age… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/25 02:33 PM |
| 3 | Finalized divorceWay to go man!! Enjoy the rest of your life, your freedom, your peace, your autonomy 🙌 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 10:47 PM |
| 5 | I told her I wanted a divorce. It did not go how I expectedMarriage counseling does not fucking work. You cannot negotiate desire, you cannot negotiate respect, and you cannot negotiate her enthusiasm to be the kind of woman you want her to be. The best form of “communication” is often non-verbal, and in the form of consequence. As in, “comply or goodbye.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 10:35 PM |
| 2 | I told her I wanted a divorce. It did not go how I expectedExactly. Been there, done that. Was absolutely petrified to serve my ex-wife the papers, but I knew it had to be done, and my (excellent) lawyer warned me that it would only get much worse — and much more complicated — the longer I waited. I nutted up and it was absolute hell for the next year. But goddamn, I got my life back, and Life 2.0 is heavenly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 10:31 PM |
| 3 | I told her I wanted a divorce. It did not go how I expectedWell-meaning and optimistic comment. But ultimately probably very harmful and dangerous for OP. OP needs to strategize based on what’s most likely to happen now, not cross his fingers hoping he’s the exception. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 10:29 PM |
| 18 | I told her I wanted a divorce. It did not go how I expectedABSOLUTELY this. Most people, especially women, are loyal only to their emotions. Remember this and act accordingly. She got caught flat-footed when you hit her with the nuke, and now that the shock has passed, she’s planning and lining up her legal, social, financial moves. And fast. She saw that you got weak and caved (sorry to say it man, but that’s exactly what happened) when she played the calm ‘n’ mature card, but now she’s both vengeful and fearful. You need to lawyer up and proceed forwa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 10:26 PM |
| 7 | Not attracted to women my own age…Dude. Why in the hell are you limiting your prospects to women your age, instead of pursuing any woman that you find attractive and that you connect well with? Understand this, my man: The social narrative that pushes men to blindly walk into the slaughterhouse of marriage is the same social narrative that tries to shame men who date younger women. In Life 2.0, aka Post-Divorce Life, act upon what YOU want and adopt a philosophy that actually serves you. For me personally, I’m in my mid-40s, mak… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/25 11:21 PM |
| 10 | STBXW admits why she does not apologize when she is wrongI no longer argue with women I date whatsoever because this is precisely how it goes. They operate based on emotions, and it’s more important for them to FEEL right rather than to actually be right. When presented with objective evidence or even hard proof that they’re wrong, you can bet your ass she’ll reflex to emotional and manipulative tactics like shaming, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, crying, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/25 10:40 PM |
| 2 | Bossy Women - I Love Them??Acknowledgement and understanding are a good first step. I invited the same patterns into my life for a long, long time as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/25 09:01 PM |
| 2 | Bossy Women - I Love Them??Yep. Agree with above. Classic pattern | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/25 09:00 PM |
| 8 | Your wake up call.What a joke lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 03:32 AM |
| 10 | Your wake up call.Use your common sense, open your eyes, and start seeing obvious patterns dude. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 03:30 AM |
| 9 | Your wake up call.Lol “abused.” Don’t make me laugh. “Abused” is the hottest buzzword of the 2020s. Not only does it cheapen the claims of actual victims of abuse, but it’s also just a dirty tactic and a copout to shed oneself of any agency. Don’t think for a second they don’t know exactly what they’re doing tossing around words like that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 03:29 AM |
| 11 | Your wake up call.Indeed, the marriage wheel is undefeated. Totally co-sign what you wrote, and I’m the same way. I’m no longer angry or bitter, but have accepted that they are the way they are, and as a result have a lot more inner peace and clarity of thought. Always ask, is the juice worth the squeeze? With perhaps the exception of clearly-defined terms for an ultra-short-term “relationship,” the answer always been a resounding HELL NO for me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 03:24 AM |
| 1 | How much easier would your post-divorce be if it were just a breakup?Agree wholeheartedly | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/25 12:23 AM |
| 1 | How much easier would your post-divorce be if it were just a breakup?Truer words have never been spoken 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/25 12:18 AM |
| 1 | How much easier would your post-divorce be if it were just a breakup?Definitely less risky, yes, but still doesn’t sound appealing over the single life. Peace, quiet, freedom, variety, and maneuverability! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/25 11:30 PM |
| 7 | Well the Shit Hit the FanYeah, agree with this. I’m usually first to say that marriage is a hilariously raw deal nowadays for men (check my post history), but I’m big on self-accountability. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/25 10:22 PM |
| 7 | How much easier would your post-divorce be if it were just a breakup?Cosmically easier. And comically easier, too. Which again goes to show — particularly if a man doesn’t wish to have kids, there is truly no sound reason for him to invite the State into his life to determine where his hard earned money/assets go. No need to sign legal contracts, because in the end, if you do sign that contract, then it just comes down to hard numbers anyway. How much you pay her, how long you pay her for, how many months or years the divorce process takes. Can any one of my fell… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/25 10:08 PM |
| 23 | Alimony paid to lower wage earning husband in CaliforniaTake it. She’s strong & independent, right? Equal rights can be a bitch sometimes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 09:40 PM |
| 1 | How can she change on a flip of a switch?Sorry man, but you won’t fix anything long term. She has checked out. We’ve all been there, done that. Take the collective wisdom of the men on here and use that to move forward. The patterns from all the anecdotes on this sub are all familiar. It takes a lot of deconditioning, repeated firsthand and secondhand exposure and education about women, and replacement of false hope with pragmatism for it to finally all sink in. It only recently happened with me (early 40s now, brutal divorce a decade … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/25 03:01 PM |
| 16 | Fathers are essencial, why keeping them away?“She hates the father more than she loves the kids” | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/25 05:50 PM |
| 5 | Guys it’s really simple. Don’t get married period!Self-imposed problems dude. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/25 05:47 PM |
| 1 | Who is she?Exactly | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/25 03:46 AM |
| 2 | It’s been 1 year post divorce. (Long)Please do. A quick Google search tells me that it’s apparently been stolen across many generations from Confucius, apparently. 😂 Best wishes, mate! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/24 07:13 PM |
| 12 | It’s been 1 year post divorce. (Long)This was f*ckin’ great to read. I’m 8 years post-divorce and life is far better now. The first year, year-and-a-half after divorce were rough. Like many men on this sub, I lost essentially everything, including my sense of identity, and had to rebuild from what seemed like ground zero. My life is far better than what it used to be; I had to learn how to place myself first, and set boundaries for what I wasn’t willing to tolerate. It wasn’t easy, because at the time of divorce I had been reduced … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/24 06:42 PM |
| 5 | Met with Ex After 7 MonthsReading this put a smile on my face. Sounds like you saw exactly what she was trying to do. She wanted a reaction — any reaction — from you, to signal to her that you still give a shit lol. I’m just a random Reddit stranger, but I’m proud of you for not playing into her rubbish. Good for you, my friend. Keep leveling up and continuing to use the lessons from your divorce to grow stronger. Physically, emotionally, financially. NICE! | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/24 03:15 AM |
| 3 | Bac together..Lol 😂 Don’t know why the guy above was downvoted, that was some sharp comic relief. …Right?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/24 04:16 AM |
| 8 | Someone talk some sense into me.I’ll keep it really simple, my brother: You get out of life what you tolerate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 06:12 PM |
| 3 | Do you Wonder if She Thinks of You?Words of wisdom here | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/23 05:35 AM |
| 1 | Stay at Home Dad ProblemsSee my above post | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 04:27 PM |
| 2 | Stay at Home Dad ProblemsOP, listen to this guy (Character-Unit1723). He knows his shit. You wouldn’t believe the insanity that goes on in family law, particularly from the woman’s side. None of the shit is stuff I would’ve believed had I not experienced it myself (and watched close male friends endure). I fought like HELL in my divorce and I’m eternally grateful for it. If I had dropped my guard or tried to play soft, I would seriously be regretting it now. It sucks to hear and it’s frightening, but WAKE UP and DEFEND … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 04:26 PM |
| 3 | Stay at Home Dad ProblemsStop “feeling” and start doing what’s rational and self-preservationist. What’s best for the kids is also if they have their father in their lives 50% of the time. Btw, one of the BIGGEST triggers of female-initiated divorces is when the wife starts out-earning the husband. (Even if it’s a mutual agreement that he will be a stay at home dad.) She almost always begins fostering resentment towards him, even if she doesn’t want to acknowledge this. It’s messed up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 04:20 PM |
| 5 | So my wife, idk what she is actually, wanted space and now we are taking a “break”I would suggest to do the smart and self-preservationist thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/23 08:09 AM |
| 7 | So my wife, idk what she is actually, wanted space and now we are taking a “break”This is because the pre, during, and post divorce events are so unique to (and yet so ubiquitous amongst) men in the West. Convention, “safe” relationship advice assumes gender-neutrality, when all the men on this sub understand otherwise. Usually we have learned the hard way, by being blindsided and then royally screwed over. We got you, man. When I was going through my own hell, it helped tremendously to know that I wasn’t the first and only. No matter how hellish the divorce got, no matter ho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/23 07:58 AM |
| 4 | What’s The Point?This community exists precisely because insane shit like this happens on a frequent basis. To good men who are trying to do what they believe is the right thing. After my divorce, and dating around more, I became far more pragmatic when navigating dating/sex/relationships. I no longer promise commitment, and upon reflection I have found that the best treatment I get from women has ALWAYS been before I promise commitment. Does it bother me? Tremendously. But, I find the only path forward is to ac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 05:00 AM |
| 3 | *Who* are these men that go through divorce once and then *get married again,* and WTF are they thinking??I seriously thought I wrote this post myself. Striking how overlap there was with my situation! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/23 12:13 AM |
| 6 | Thanks to you allBy far, it was the hardest and most painful thing that I’ve ever endured as well. But goddamn, if the rewards on the other side aren’t worth it. 😎 My buddies who are locked into unhappy marriages and LTRs always tell me they’re envious of my freedom and ability to maneuver. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/23 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Younger lurker here that always come here for inspirationYes and yes. Soulmates. Almost never argued. Unanimous support from friends and family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Younger lurker here that always come here for inspirationMy friend, helping to prevent the younger gents from making the mistakes we idealistic men made is EXACTLY what it’s all about. The pain you endure from learning the lessons early on translates into how much growth and resilience you’ll enjoy from it. And yes, been-there-done-that with the whole “soulmate turned hellish ex-wife through divorce grape” experience as well. Thankfully no kids, but the divorce process was brutal and protracted, and I was zeroed out and had to rebuild from the ground … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 01:32 PM |
| 4 | Holding it in when other guys get marriedI hear you, man. Whenever I’m in the city and I see the bridal party, the groomsmen, the bride and groom to be, etc. posing for the photographers and doing the whole charade, I can’t help but shake my head. I don’t say anything, because people generally aren’t receptive to the sort of uncomfortable advice that experience teaches. It’s one of those things where you simply have to wait on the other side to help out your fellow man once he gets divorced. “When the student is ready, the teacher will… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Wife's father died and she had midlife crisis / mental breakdownCouldn’t have put it better myself | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/23 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Wife's father died and she had midlife crisis / mental breakdownEver notice how many women have a tendency to be drawn, like moths to a flame, to all this goofy metaphysical bullshit? Or otherwise meaningless, hollow, non-factual, vague, touchy-feely garbage in general? Explaining shit as divinity because “he’s a Libra and I’m a Libra,” or obsession with tarot cards and palm readings, or “karmic prophecies,” fascination with mediums communicating with the souls of predecessors, or “what’s your love language” or having to “speak my truth” or “manifest” your (… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/23 02:25 AM |
| 6 | So weird how many of us saw our wives get addicted to scrolling TikTok constantly.You are either an expert troll or comically self-unaware. If the latter, this only reaffirms my lifelong decision to never again marry, never cohabitate, and always put myself first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/23 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Can someone love their partner but still abuse and threaten them?Outstanding thoughts here, thanks for sharing, man | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/23 01:58 PM |
| 3 | Can someone love their partner but still abuse and threaten them?I get it, brother. I can only laugh and shake my head. Not a laugh of derision or mocking, but rather one of familiarity. (For brief context: ten years together, best friends and so-called “soulmates” throughout, bent over backwards and sacrificed much of my finances and health for her and her family, supported her fully, never cheated on her, no drugs/booze/abuse — with all of it resulting only in devaluation of me as a man, her cheating on me with multiple dudes, financial catastrophe through … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/23 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Can someone love their partner but still abuse and threaten them?My friend, you already know the answer. If you have to ask, it’s a symptom of you wanting to find excuses to continue tolerating her behavior. Get out. GET OUT. I hope your future self will look back on this someday and breathe a sigh of relief that you extricated yourself from this horror shitshow and started living life on your terms. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/23 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Getting a divorce. Wondering about others experiences when there is a high disparity in income and kids involvedSorry, brother. This was similar to my situation (except we didn’t have kids). I co-sign what many other gents on this thread have already said and gone through firsthand. It doesn’t matter whatsoever what you and your soon to be ex-wife have agreed upon verbally. As soon as her lawyer catches wind of the marital financials, it’s like a shark smelling blood. Her attorney, incentivized to do so, will whisper in her ear and so will her orbit of family and friends. Good news is, you do still have t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/23 12:31 AM |
| 2 | How to start a new relationship with a women when you have to keep paying your ex wife child support and alimonyThis guy knows what’s up. OP, you get your own shit together first. Finances, mentality, physical health, social network, work and hobbies. Only then do you consider dating around if you’d like, but this time WITHOUT the mentality of qualifying to them, financially or otherwise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/23 02:35 AM |
| 1 | How to start a new relationship with a women when you have to keep paying your ex wife child support and alimonyYou make the mistake of thinking that just because it’s called “child support,” that the recipient (almost always the ex-wife) actually uses it to support the child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/23 02:32 AM |
| 2 | How to start a new relationship with a women when you have to keep paying your ex wife child support and alimonyAbsolutely this! | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/23 02:27 AM |
| 8 | The cold hard truthIt’s nothing new, but it bears repeating. Men like us got divorce-graped to begin with likely because we were sleepwalking through our romantic lives and signed on the dotted line of that marriage contract because it was “the next step.” Even after being divorced for nearly a decade and learning the mother of all painful lessons (which most of you have learned firsthand as well), it was still tempting at times during post-divorce dating to force-fit another woman into the unicorn/“exception” cat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/23 05:03 AM |
| 4 | After Denial… Misogyny?For sure. The only difference is that casual misandry is somehow acceptable in our society with all the “men are trash” jokes, while misogyny would invite swift public ostracization. Neither is acceptable, but some of those individuals calling out misogynists are the loudest misandrists. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/23 07:44 PM |
| 3 | The cheat code to long term relationships in 40'sWhen the lifetime membership costs far more than the pay-as-you-go option 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/23 05:21 PM |
| 3 | How long after divorce would you consider being in a relationship with other people or marry them?To OP: Hey, no disrespect intended here. But I completely agree with the gentleman challenging you to think about why you are conflating marriage with happiness. I find that women tend to have no clue whatsoever about how life is received as a man. For example, what EXACTLY does marriage offer to men that would possibly justify the incalculable, often-permanent risks he absorbs by signing that contract? As has been stated many times over on this sub, men sacrifice/jeopardize their livelihood, th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/23 04:59 PM |
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