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AnthonyPillarella Archive

View 0 posts and 186 comments by AnthonyPillarella on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

America is weirdly difficult I have not found America all that difficult tbh
/r/seduction29/07/26 07:06 AM
20

Fucking thank you.
/r/seduction01/07/26 06:58 PM
2

This is actually kind of a sick move. It's so novel that it stands out, and that's gonna work if you can sell it, so to speak.
/r/seduction01/07/26 06:58 PM
1

Sounds like you've never had a woman interested in you then.
/r/seduction01/07/26 06:57 PM
1

Neat, fanfic from someone who's clearly not actually successful. IG is FAR superior to a phone number if you actually use it. It gives a sense of you as a whole person so they're going to feel more familiar and trust you more, your texts are attached to a profile rather than just a number, you get tons of opportunity to revive dead conversations from story replies. On that matter, you can use stories to show an attractive life. If you turn dating into a fucking pissing contest, you're just going…
/r/seduction01/07/26 06:55 PM
1

So fix it.
/r/seduction26/06/26 07:35 PM
1

Yeah, this feels really obvious lol.
/r/seduction13/06/26 06:58 PM
8

Let's go piece by piece. Stopped porn: Zero benefit. I was more motivated, but also too invested because I had no alternative release. If anything, I think this was detrimental. 0/10. Got lean: I started out REAL overweight, so losing some weight helped a lot. Aggressive diminishing returns after ~20% body fat, and my personality was still trash so no results. So let's say 7/10 if you're fat, 4 if not. Increased social skills. 10/10. Made such a difference that nothing else felt like it even mat…
/r/seduction18/05/26 02:10 PM
3

First one finds it kinda disgusting to take any dick after it has been in someone else during dating This does not bode well for your hopes of group activities, my friend.
/r/seduction01/04/26 04:47 PM
1

Not him, but used this place to make a ton of progress in dating. It's actually fairly rare for guys to get dates from cold approaches, the real value is in getting you a ton of reps in meeting women you're attracted to. I met most of the women I've dated through hobbies/social circle/friends, but pre-approaching would be so awkward, nervous, or needy that I'd just tank things before they went anywhere. 50-100 reps of introducing myself to women I was attracted to did a lot to quell that fear an…
/r/seduction01/04/26 09:18 AM
4

People have talked/written a lot about tricks for this but tbh I think there's too much risk in trying to get cute with it. If you're at the point that you're hooking up with them and can openly talk about these kinds of things, just directly ask if they'd ever be interested in a threesome if the time/person/etc. was right. It's not a guarantee they are, a lot of bi people like to keep things 1-on-1. If they are, you can talk about it a bit (DO NOT PUSH), and let them know you have someone in mi…
/r/seduction01/04/26 09:08 AM
1

Oof, it's rare that I side with the person who ghosted but seems like she made the right call. What an insane thing to say.
/r/seduction02/01/26 09:38 AM
1

Absolutely, yes.
/r/seduction09/07/25 08:32 AM
8

So your goal is to exclusively attract emotionally immature and exhausting women? Pass.
/r/seduction16/06/25 01:17 AM
1

Yes. Constantly.
/r/seduction01/05/25 12:25 AM
1

I'd generally avoid LA for a lot of reasons. It's too spread out, people spend all day in their cars, and there aren't really centralized locales or venues. You'll meet someone in Santa Monica that lives in Burbank or down in Orange County which complicates things. I spent the bulk of my time learning in Orange County/LA. This is 100% accurate.
/r/seduction22/01/25 09:11 PM
3

Just to add to the list since it's rarely mentioned: I lived in Boston, and it's a weird one. Absolutely zero competition, it'll often be the first time a woman's been approached in ages. But people are generally standoffish (not just on the street, in the area overall), and it's pretty hard to socialize in general at first. Overall, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone shopping cities. It's like 80% the cost of NY for maybe 20% of the quality of life. But if you happen to be there for school or so…
/r/seduction22/01/25 09:09 PM
2

Usually, people just want to move to a city. How well they can meet people there is one of the most relevant factors, so it's not totally insane to consider daygame opportunities.
/r/seduction22/01/25 09:05 PM
1

Well, we've found the current delusion.
/r/seduction05/12/24 06:08 PM
1

Thanks, man! I have a backlog of videos I need to make, hopefully those are useful as well.
/r/seduction30/11/24 01:13 AM
2

Yeah, I remember doing an intro call with RSD back in the day and laughing at the $900/mo they wanted. I normally don't say anything in these because I haven't figured out how to self-plug without coming off...let's say, opportunistic. I have a more general charisma approach, but include dating/attraction. My coaching is ~$50/session, and the videos I post on the big 3 (TT/YT/IG) is the exact same as the information I give in coaching. So you can check that out if you want the info and don't min…
/r/seduction29/11/24 11:18 PM
1

Honestly I'd just go with Feeld. It's a dating app for exactly this sort of thing.
/r/seduction29/11/24 06:32 PM
0

LOL okay guy.
/r/seduction23/11/24 12:29 PM
14

Good posture > mirroring Side note, in my experience mirroring is not effective enough to be worth the effort.
/r/seduction22/11/24 07:54 PM
5

I paid enough attention to get decent pictures of me, especially a few doing things that I like/are attractive like playing on guitar stage or local competitions in my sport, but nothing major. Like I've never booked a photo shoot, and had zero posts implying any kind of high value whatever like cars/vacations stuff this sub thinks about when it comes to "attractive" IG's.
/r/seduction19/11/24 03:20 AM
9

I had a kind of medium good IG. Never bothered with DM sliding, but used it to build attraction/rapport. I'd meet someone in the wild, if it went well swap IG's instead of phone numbers. Do some story replies back and forth, it'd get flirty, etc. I've never been the hookup type, so my numbers will look different from someone going for volume, but it was ridiculously effective.
/r/seduction18/11/24 05:54 PM
1

I don't think this works that well over text unless good rapport was established beforehand. OP's answer was quite good regardless of the situation. This one could work in person, but anything involving grossness is a very fine line to walk and imo worth avoiding altogether.
/r/seduction12/11/24 01:48 AM
3

Normally the scenarios people bring in these threads aren't actually shit tests...but this one kind of feels like it could be shit test. Like, I could see this second one being a joke, but with the way she said the first one I'm leaning test. As to how to answer, generally speaking you should be fun and not overly invested. Not as some kind of tactic or anything, you should genuinely be fun and not overly attached. Your response to the kissing comment did a great job of that. This second one kin…
/r/seduction12/11/24 01:47 AM
17

>Once men get sex why pursue further? More sex? Relationship with someone you enjoy being around? Potential for love and a deep romantic connection? What kind of dumb shit question is that?
/r/seduction03/11/24 04:28 PM
1

I think you've nailed it.
/r/seduction18/10/24 08:10 PM
1

OP's post has a lot to do with core value, yours has a lot to do with marketing. Both are relevant, both help a lot. Your points about paying attention to your marketing are important, but your statement that his post won't help is completely false. Your approach also has a higher focus on getting short-term attraction. Again, necessary in long-term as well, but it'll fall completely flat over time if you ignore what OP is saying.
/r/seduction16/10/24 07:06 PM
0

You joke, but discrediting the psychology side is almost certainly what's continuing to fuck you. Best of luck.
/r/seduction15/10/24 09:07 PM
2

Yeah, I certainly wouldn't complain if people had tags for it. But at the same time, this place is small and quiet enough that it doesn't really bother me.
/r/seduction15/10/24 08:56 PM
1

Probably. I will say that while it's rarer, I've known guys who were genuinely charismatic and attractive but so afraid of rejection, failure, whatever, that they never made a move. Since it's so rare that women approach, they just went long periods of time with nothing, falsely thinking they weren't attractive. All to say it's almost certainly the charisma, but I wouldn't count out the possibility he's just not taking action.
/r/seduction15/10/24 08:55 PM
0

If all the experiences you're having with women are shit, and all the women you date/interact with are treating you like shit, you're the common denominator. This leaves us two options. 1. You're subconsciously looking for evidence that women are shit so you permit shitty behavior. 2. You're attracted to some quality or thing, like social value, that highly correlates with shitty behavior. Usually this is a cover for some unspoken or unacknowledged insecurity that you're trying to plug with exte…
/r/seduction15/10/24 08:52 PM
1

This is the avenue by which most men who learn social skills do so. Regardless of what anyone wants this place to be, this is what it has always been in the more than decade I've been a part of it. Basics belong here.
/r/seduction15/10/24 06:32 AM
0

When you stop seeking out women who treat you like garbage.
/r/seduction15/10/24 05:02 AM
2

There is a strong possibility you're overrating your charisma or not talking to many women.
/r/seduction15/10/24 05:02 AM
11

Let's get one thing straight: seduction is for those who already know how to talk to people without looking like they're defusing a bomb. No the fuck it isn't. I realize you just got here, but this place has always ranged from basic to intermediate, with the occasional foray into advanced. It is one of the main reasons my autistic ass was able to learn basic social skills, which became advanced and ultimately translated to me teaching. If your goal is to be more attractive, this place is for you…
/r/seduction15/10/24 03:55 AM
8

Nothing with that attitude.
/r/seduction14/10/24 01:21 AM
7

I think it's not that bad if get your proverbial shit together. Have something going on, exercise some times, and have some game/charisma. It's not good enough to get an average job and show up. You actually need some skills. Things are great once you do.
/r/seduction13/10/24 07:41 PM
12

I agree they need stepping stones. Do you think that having success that hinges on lying about a quality they have will build confidence? Or would it just confirm in their minds that they aren't enough unless they lie.
/r/seduction10/10/24 05:46 AM
8

That is absolutely a masculine thing. But his point was, as his title says, never reveal signs of stress, fear, or weakness. And his post was all about hiding or ignoring those feelings. He and I are making opposite points.
/r/seduction08/10/24 04:49 PM
8

It's the kind of advice that's appealing to guys who want to impress other guys. And sometimes it works...kinda. But things got a lot easier when I paid attention to what women actually respond to lol.
/r/seduction08/10/24 07:07 AM
94

The third line in one of my best approaches ever was, "I'm gonna be upfront, I'm feeling a little nervous here." If you want to do the whole aggro value, get-laid-as-fast-as-possible approach, sure. If you want to actually meet someone worth meeting, this is completely unnecessary tough guy bullshit.
/r/seduction07/10/24 11:36 PM
9

I'm sorry, you spent what on a date?? Bro, this is 100% on you. A date shouldn't be fucking $200. I've never spent more than $20 on a first date. $200 is actually fucking insane.
/r/seduction05/10/24 05:00 PM
159

Just read it, and yep. Unironically great advice, and very well written.
/r/seduction04/10/24 07:57 AM
16

Yeah idk what that dude was talking about. Going somewhere that's within your interests and has women is literally the perfect scenario. And I have zero interest in cars, personally lol.
/r/seduction04/10/24 07:50 AM
7

They don't like being ignored. Your version of "not ignoring them" is probably overly needy.
/r/seduction04/10/24 04:14 AM
36

I mean, that's pretty much what I do and it works great. The part you're missing is that you ALSO learn the skill of being direct and honest in a way that's received well. The autism example is an issue of tact, not content.
/r/seduction02/10/24 10:42 PM
1

Are you asking how to get better at being funny, or are you asking for specific tips for women? Because humor is humor, so there's little to no difference in joke construction. Women generally respond less to slapstick/loud shit and if you're going to tell a potentially offensive joke, the standard is higher than it generally is for men. But at it's core, it's identical.
/r/seduction02/10/24 02:40 AM
3

Dude just say you have no clue what you're talking about. I learned social skills well past "game." I have the skill you're talking about, yet have no desire to go back to sales. I'm also not broke, I just grew up around rich people. My sister's in a long term relationship with a very wealthy guy. I worked for a 1/4 billionaire. I know them, and I know their lives. You don't know what you're talking about. As evidenced by the fact that the thing you just said actually gets them success with wome…
/r/seduction30/09/24 08:11 PM
2

Sure, if you want to attract a gold digger hanging out at the wharf club. They definitely hang around trying to drain guys with more money than brains of their resources. Now, if you want a decent experience that isn't fully transactional the difference between self-sufficient and wealthy is small.
/r/seduction30/09/24 07:31 PM
27

Yeah, I'm all about getting people motivated on approaching but this is a fully idiotic take.
/r/seduction30/09/24 07:29 PM
2

It is with that attitude lol. Not really without.
/r/seduction29/09/24 08:30 PM
6

Compared to every other cause of death, virtually zero. Same answer if you compare it to how many men have had their lives massively enhanced by women.
/r/seduction29/09/24 08:29 PM
7

I forgot exactly but something about how "females" shouldn't exist.
/r/seduction29/09/24 06:16 PM
11

Seek psychiatric care. Your response to this is legitimately insane, even if it's an exaggeration.
/r/seduction29/09/24 04:54 PM
2

This bullshit and this username. Classic pairing.
/r/seduction29/09/24 04:53 PM
1

I've never drank, and been able to do fine without it.
/r/seduction28/09/24 01:50 AM
3

just not to the point that I hoped. It can be a slow process. It took me a while as well. Honestly looking back I just cringe at my behavior, Would you cringe at yourself for not being good at any other skill? If you picked up an instrument and had to start with simple songs, if you picked up a sport and didn't walk straight into a mid-level game, would you beat yourself up like this? Kill the idea that your self-worth is tied to your social skills. It will fuck with your head and really slow do…
/r/seduction28/09/24 12:24 AM
20

No, it's not a death sentence. But viewing it as one is. This whole fucking post is you staring into an empty coffin. Cut that shit out. View social skills like any other skill. What behaviors are generally received well? What core mechanism makes them work? Now apply that to other shit. Maybe some are hard for you to perceive. Fine, what workarounds can you come up with? How can you plan around or minimize the problem? As a fellow special, it's just a fucking skill. Treat it like one.
/r/seduction27/09/24 10:22 PM
2

A few weeks of lifting will cause your muscles to show more. For me it's about 2 weeks to go from completely to deflated to looking like I lift again.
/r/seduction26/09/24 08:39 AM
4

Bro what the fuck. Just leave the relationship, damn.
/r/seduction26/09/24 05:33 AM
5

Seems like you do understand lol.
/r/seduction26/09/24 05:33 AM
-1

Sure. 5'10", ~230 28% bf. It's been a non-issue. I care about it far more than any women have. I notice if I'm lifting regularly and doing a bit of cardio, I can get happy enough about what my body can do that I get out of my head about whatever looks I'm not happy with. Get your fitness (not aesthetics, just literally being able to move your body) under control and recognize that women care far more about the experience of being around you than what you look like.
/r/seduction26/09/24 05:32 AM
4

If you lift for like 2-4 weeks, you'll start showing a difference.
/r/seduction26/09/24 05:30 AM
0

Comfort: "I mean, I'm open to whatever but there's no pressure for anything else." Playful: Literally everything else people have said in this thread. It should go without saying, but if she's not feeling anything past hanging out...actually don't put any pressure on her.
/r/seduction23/09/24 10:50 PM
6

Most - fuck it, all - self-described "nice guys" are pushovers and people pleasers who are afraid to take action and frustrated that the world isn't rewarding the pain they've put on themselves (ask me how I know). If you're genuinely nice and don't do that stupid shit, it's very easy to be attractive. Kindness is attractive, especially to emotionally mature women. The unspoken expectations and entitlement of "nice guys" is repellent.
/r/seduction13/09/24 05:32 PM
1

Take a picture early into the event. Like when you get there. It won't be the best/most interesting things, but it builds the habit and gets you something. You don'h have to post the picture if it sucks though lol. Just take it.
/r/seduction23/08/24 01:35 AM
1

Approach more people for friendly interactions, rather than trying to pick up someone you aren't attracted to. It'll help with approach anxiety and conversational skills when you do see someone you're attracted to.
/r/seduction22/08/24 11:39 PM
2

No idea, but I pretty quickly stopped being alone when I didn't want to be. So it wasn't worth tracking any sort of close rate metrics. I was always selective with who and how I approached, so probably ~10% of approaches became a date. I didn't spend a lot of time on it because social circle worked much better for me.
/r/seduction22/08/24 11:38 PM
22

If you find it difficult to hit all 20, try 10. Or 5. Pick a number you can successfully do, then increase it over time. Because if you set a goal so high you won't reach it, your only feedback will be that you've failed. Even if you've made objectively great progress. Also, seconding /u/ohmygad45's advice.
/r/seduction16/08/24 08:52 PM
23

One of the old pieces of advice that helped me a lot was to get comfortable approaching strangers at all first. Literally the first time I went out to practice approaching, I just found a busy area, left my phone in the car, and asked 3 people for the time. If you're in school, talking about the class with the people around you. Asking cashiers how their day is going, etc. Approaching a woman you're interested in is probably the hardest approach. Learning to get comfortable with easier ones will…
/r/seduction13/08/24 07:10 AM
3

And I have to ask how old are those women that are attracted to you? Older women 25+, who’s standards already changed since they been with many dudes that they’re less picky at this point? Oh, I see your problem. Hint: it's not the baldness.
/r/seduction13/08/24 06:45 AM
3

My dad sold them, and sure. Kind of. Not as much as the men who got comfortable with being bald (and hit the gym).
/r/seduction13/08/24 06:45 AM
1

Oh damn, thank you so much. That's all I ever want to hear, and I'm really glad you got something out of it. (Also gonna send a DM if you don't mind. It's not a sales pitch, I promise.)
/r/seduction13/08/24 04:44 AM
1

Absolutely, yes. Plus, how absurd is it to care more about impressing potential dates than the person who's invested in a relationship with you? It's a bad approach on both fronts.
/r/seduction13/08/24 04:41 AM
1

100%, yes. The whole "get shredded" bullshit is just dudes with no game avoiding the work that matters.
/r/seduction11/08/24 06:37 PM
0

Yeah, when you've had anything nearing my relationship experience you can talk lol. But it's okay, I used to believe this kind of bullshit when I didn't know any better.
/r/seduction07/08/24 12:52 AM
7

Good, because it's complete fucking nonsense.
/r/seduction06/08/24 04:26 PM
18

A few, yeah. It absolutely, fundamentally cannot be about you. You need two women who are into it (or at least curious), and you're there to facilitate their good time. Every bi girl has had some idiot she was seeing go, "omg threesome??" with more interest in checking off a bucket list item or living out his fantasy than her having a good time. If she gets a sense that you're pitching this exclusively for your own experience, she's not going to want to do it with you.
/r/seduction06/08/24 08:01 AM
1

Let's suppose that you ask a random girl on a groocery store for her contact. Okay The only data avaliable is your looks This is a really common belief from men who don't have a lot of experience really talking to women. The data women have when you approach is: 1. Your body language and apparent social awareness based on how you approach 2. Style, which is dramatically different from looks, 3. The fact that you have the confidence to actually approach 4. How physically attractive you are This i…
/r/seduction04/08/24 09:03 AM
1

Nope. Looks help, but aren't the deciding factor at all.
/r/seduction03/08/24 05:17 PM
15

You know how dating is in real life (outside the apps)? That portion is the same today as it was back then. It has not changed in my experience. In my experience, it's much better because there's such a lack of dudes who are both attractive (behaviorally, not physically), confident/forward enough, and not dickheads.
/r/seduction29/07/24 06:56 PM
2

Not even close lol
/r/seduction26/07/24 08:33 AM
11

Those dudes' condescension and lack of empathy notwithstanding, that is literally what this sub is dedicated to.
/r/seduction25/07/24 07:21 PM
7

And being pretty just isn't as important as he thinks.
/r/seduction25/07/24 07:19 PM
11

Lol
/r/seduction12/07/24 04:29 AM
1

On the other side of this (using social media to market a service, still fairly small following), I have to make an active effort not to turn my whole life into content. So I could see how someone who's bigger and better than I am, or at least less thoughtful about it, would be exhausting to be around.
/r/seduction08/07/24 02:57 PM
1

No, Southern CA.
/r/seduction08/07/24 02:54 PM
14

I just moved out of the Boston area. I can't speak to the rest of MA, but that area's nightlife never recovered post Covid. It's absolutely terrible.
/r/seduction08/07/24 03:58 AM
19

With Boston, you have the benefit of NO ONE else approaching. But there's no nightlife and the weather is too shitty to go out half the year. I wouldn't rush there imo.
/r/seduction08/07/24 03:15 AM
1

No. Just fucking no. Jesus Christ. No.
/r/seduction07/07/24 05:52 PM
3

...as in they'd pay for a date?
/r/seduction07/07/24 12:27 AM
42

You're right, women have largely stopped viewing sex as something they "give up," and started viewing it as something they do, and (hopefully) enjoy. You know, because that's what it is.
/r/seduction07/07/24 12:25 AM
2

The phenomenon of women having a lot of options they're not interested in? That's just life, is it really worth talking about? Women leveraging those options without intent to pursue them is just different flavors of this situation. There's no phenomenon, no delusion nor cognitive dissonance. Just dudes not either being genuinely indifferent to the woman or trying to game too hard. So the discussion of the "phenomenon" is just explaining why you're in this situation. To be fair, we all fuck up a…
/r/seduction02/07/24 01:10 AM
3

Also, your edit is hilarious. "I know I asked what you think, but don't tell me unless it validates my original statement."
/r/seduction01/07/24 09:39 PM
2

Why does any person or animal puff up their chest? They feel threatened. Sounds like you've done a poor job of assuring her of your interest. If she feels like you're going to just stop calling one day, she'll feel compelled to try to make you feel jealous ("Oooh, look! Other guys!") or save face ("It wasn't a big deal anyway, I have all these options.") Her admitting that she's not really that into them was trying to bring it back to you. Which you've punished her for by "calling her bluff." An…
/r/seduction01/07/24 09:38 PM
1

I appreciate that, though I had much worse hair and another 10lbs of fat for most of my time dating/approaching. I do like the new look a lot though. And thank you. It means a lot.
/r/seduction29/06/24 01:44 AM
1

I appreciate that, though I had much worse hair and another 10lbs of fat for most of my time dating/approaching.
/r/seduction29/06/24 01:44 AM
1

I'm not all that pleasing to the eye, and have had pretty of cheap/free dates. Keep working on your social skills/game, it make a lot more of a difference.
/r/seduction26/06/24 05:59 AM
-1

Women are far more picky when it comes to looks than men are. Factually, verifiably incorrect. When I've been rejected in the past, it was because they found me unattractive. "Unattractive" doesn't tell us physically or otherwise. If what you say is true, how come my results shot up when I had cosmetic surgery? Surely, if it was "game" that was the definitive factor, then this shouldn't happen? Of course it would happen. For one, your confidence and the way you present to the world changes drama…
/r/seduction18/06/24 07:56 AM
-1

Women generally experience attraction more to personality/presence/charisma than physical appearance. So as long as you're not off-putting to look at, you'll go a lot farther with a lot less effort working on your charisma than anything else. Also, do you just make a practice of hanging around subreddits where you disagree with the core ideology just to yell at everyone that they're dumb? Seems like a waste of time.
/r/seduction18/06/24 07:11 AM
-1

It's always nice when someone so neatly shows you shouldn't listen to them.
/r/seduction18/06/24 12:33 AM
1

As to cold approaches i cant do them Too much anxiety?
/r/seduction18/06/24 12:32 AM
2

One inch taller than you. Also, I'm overweight. And spent most of my dating life broke. So you can keep crying and pretending you're just unlucky, or you can fucking try. But if you're going to do the former, do it elsewhere.
/r/seduction13/06/24 12:03 AM
4

You are a fool. And you've attached yourself so fervently to your foolishness that you'll kick and scream whenever someone presents another perspective. Even worse, you've taken to hanging out in a forum that's based on a different perspective (which, incidentally, is the more correct one) so you can kick and scream with an audience. Your failures in dating are your own. Not your parents', not your genetics', yours. If it's easier for you to call me a grifter than accept some personal responsibi…
/r/seduction12/06/24 11:57 PM
3

Yes, absolutely.
/r/seduction12/06/24 11:49 PM
3

Okay?
/r/seduction12/06/24 11:49 PM
-1

No, it's most women. Think back on your interactions, where are you going wrong? It's usually not expressing interest, so I'd start there.
/r/seduction12/06/24 09:40 PM
2

I play it cool until they tell me they like me whether that’s weeks or months in. After that I’ve noticed it goes down hill from there because I’ll feel comfortable enough to let my guard down. So what you're telling us is that you're playing it cool, attracting women who like that attitude, then are surprised they don't like something else? I would try putting less emphasis on being "cool" and more on what comes natural to you. Yes, if you notice yourself double texting a lot or saying a lot mo…
/r/seduction14/05/24 02:58 AM
1

Everywhere, once you're able to demonstrate emotional maturity and empathy and have your attraction stuff worked out.
/r/seduction12/05/24 01:03 AM
1

Certainly, and you wouldn't want to date them. So this kind of thing would help filter those women out.
/r/seduction12/05/24 01:02 AM
1

It's definitely hard, and hard to learn. But it's fun once you get better at it. I do think a sort of warm approach is probably the best - places of mutual interest and all that.
/r/seduction12/05/24 12:58 AM
14

Dude, a few years ago (when I was single), I moved to a major city and zero of the woman I talked to had actually been approached more than a few times. Harassed, sure. Catcalled, absolutely. Approached respectfully? Almost never. Blew my mind. And you're right, it puts you far ahead of most everyone else.
/r/seduction11/05/24 02:55 AM
40

First, don't equate opening up to trauma dumping. If you're emotionally vulnerable and open to an appropriate degree for the relationship, that's great. If you dump your deepest insecurities on someone you've gone on two dates with, that's too much. Second, don't you get weird about it. If you start treating her wildly differently after opening up, it's going to feel like the other things she liked about you were an act. Be normal. Third, screen for emotional availability early. This is more or …
/r/seduction11/05/24 01:22 AM
1

Man, what are you even doing here? Not only is that against the goal/idea of this subreddit, it's just wrong lol.
/r/seduction11/05/24 01:17 AM
12

I don't think it's ever been as effective as it is now.
/r/seduction11/05/24 01:04 AM
-2

...okay?
/r/seduction10/05/24 06:40 AM
-8

True, I've long since "won."
/r/seduction10/05/24 12:35 AM
-5

I literally don't lol
/r/seduction10/05/24 12:35 AM
-5

You absolutely do have competition, There are two ways to think about competition. Indirect - She has other potential dudes she could date, and will ultimately pick one. Other people are around, there is one spot, but no one's heavily comparing their attributes. Direct - You're competing against other people, and the winner will be selected based on some sort of score. The first is partially true, the second is not. But the word "competition" evokes the second. Hence the pushback.
/r/seduction09/05/24 09:01 PM
2

What's that Christopher Hitchens line? "That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." You asserted, I'm asking for evidence.
/r/seduction02/05/24 08:08 PM
4

There's a really important distinction here. "Women in the US seem pretty masculine to me, but I'm really attracted to traditionally feminine women. Is that not a thing here?" <- This is a lack of attraction without judgement or shame. "How do you guys deal with this??" <- This is what the OP said. Judgement and shame.
/r/seduction02/05/24 08:00 PM
1

And how exactly is this acting like a bitch?
/r/seduction02/05/24 07:58 PM
5

Let's go through the list. loud, drunk, immodest, tattooed up, etc. Loud Probably has a dozen ways you could define it, but if I actually like someone...I'm going to want to hear them. I like fun people with good energy, I like loud people. Yes, the archetypal club-type "woo girl/guy" is annoying since it's volume without depth. But that doesn't make loudness bad, just a lack of depth. Drunk I'll give this one a negative, since I don't drink and full-on drunk is not great. If we sub it for an op…
/r/seduction02/05/24 07:58 PM
12

How are you going to describe a bunch of fantastic qualities and act like it's a bad thing?? Also, of course America is not a monolith. Different people are different, and different states have different cultures. If you want women who have been pressured into fitting a narrow, "traditional" view of femininity, Utah's right over there. Have fun with the religious trauma!
/r/seduction02/05/24 05:58 PM
3

If she likes you and wants to date you, she's not too good for you. The worst thing you can do is approach a relationship thinking the other person is doing you a favor. You'll end up doing all kinds of things that will sabotage the relationship, then wonder where it went wrong later. She likes you. Trust her, and treat her as an equal.
/r/seduction17/04/24 06:38 PM
1

I didn't use it to meet women, I used it to get to know them. So you meet someone in the real world, then swap IG's instead of phone numbers. By great I mean I ended up going out with like 25-50% of the women I added that I was interested in. Numerically it wasn't massive, since I prefer relationships. But never had anything with that high a success rate. Things just stopped being work.
/r/seduction16/04/24 02:48 AM
2

...fair. I like that people want to help, but there is a lot of empty advice and regurgitated platitudes.
/r/seduction15/04/24 05:42 AM
3

It might just be me, but I'm not seeing something really important in these comments. How did she respond to the shoulder touch? You did right in starting somewhere safe (shoulder to emphasize a point, high fives, fist bumps, etc. are all generally very safe) and not just assuming you can keep going. Well done there. The next step is to read her reaction to the safe touch. Did she lean into it, or lean away from it? It could be literally leaning in/away, or just paying attention to her body lang…
/r/seduction14/04/24 03:55 PM
1

You don't need to thirst trap. In fact, thirst trapping is kind of stupid. Post pictures of you doing cool shit you care about, possibly even with people you like. If you happen to sneak a decent look at your physique in there, great. But I have neither thirst traps, nor a thirst trap-type body, and IG did great for me.
/r/seduction14/04/24 05:05 AM
1

If my guess that you're being too cautious about what/how you talk around women, you're probably coming off kind of boring. Again, it's just a guess since I'm not there for these conversations. But you mentioned knowing how to talk to dudes, but not women. It's the same thing. So if you're careful around women, you're just stifling yourself. Then you're boring. Just be you. A huge chunk of my overall success has come from learning to not treat women so differently from men.
/r/seduction14/04/24 12:44 AM
2

I don't mean this to be harsh, but if you're getting answers like that she's not interested. From some of your comments here, it sounds like you're getting a little nervous and thinking too hard. For where you're at, don't worry about attracting right now. Just get to the point where you can have the same kind of conversations with women you do with dudes. Once you're comfortable just talking, you can worry about the rest.
/r/seduction14/04/24 12:21 AM
2

For someone who's struggling in talking to people, that was an excellent response.
/r/seduction14/04/24 12:18 AM
1

Your approach is good, but it's also good to actually let someone know you're into them. With my gf and the last 3 women I dated before her, my response to a selfie clearly meant to look good was, "God DAMN." That said, I didn't follow it up with a sonnet about her beauty, nor did I ask for anything further. I think that's where dudes tend to go wrong with it.
/r/seduction07/04/24 11:21 PM
2

I think I need more context, but almost certainly not.
/r/seduction07/04/24 08:31 PM
1

This is a fine perspective if you have a good read on teasing vs meanness. But a lot of guys here are starting from pretty low self esteem, with a host of bad experiences. They're going to either misinterpret a lot of teasing as negging/meanness, or just not be sure one way or the other. Again, it's a good place to be. But poor advice for someone earlier in the game.
/r/seduction07/04/24 08:30 PM
20

Both ethically and functionally, the best move is to accept the "no" gracefully. If she's not interested, trying to push/convince/persuade is obviously wrong. Same if she's interested but not ready. And in both of those cases, she won't change her mind if she's felt pressured. I personally really need clarity in these kinds of things, so I'd say something like, "no pressure, but just so I'm clear: are you not ready, or not interested?" But, in both cases, you accepting the "no" without putting p…
/r/seduction07/04/24 08:26 PM
5

Well, I've spent a ton of time in forums like this and out in the world working on my personality, life, and overall "game," so...yeah. Obviously, you mean physically. Which, no. The vast majority of my approaching was done 40-50lbs overweight with too little muscle, shitty hair, and clothes that fit terribly. I've gotten fairly pretty over the last year, but even best-in-my-life looks are not good enough for any matches on dating apps. And yet, I had zero problems in person. Might not all be ab…
/r/seduction26/03/24 04:49 PM
6

^ nailed it. Most women I've approached weren't available or interested, but I've never had an approach go catastrophically badly like people are afraid of. If you just treat them like people, they have no reason to try to ruin your life.
/r/seduction26/03/24 03:44 PM
1

You would think that if you got the bulk of your information about women from the internet. It isn't true, though.
/r/seduction26/03/24 03:42 PM
145

There was never widespread acceptance of PUA.
/r/seduction26/03/24 03:53 AM
1

Dude, the rugby body is where it's at.
/r/seduction21/03/24 11:48 PM
2

The best I can describe it is...fluffy? Visible muscle, but like 25% body fat. I'm convinced it's the best look.
/r/seduction21/03/24 11:47 PM
1

so I wanted to know if the books gets any better than this.. Having read a lot of them, and tried most advice that's come across this forum and other places in the last 10 years, no. They don't get better. He also in the beginning underestimate a lot of POA tactics Depends on what you consider "tactics," but most PUA tactics don't work that well. We want them to because it's easier to learn a line or hand motion than it is to do the actual work. But they're really not that great.
/r/seduction15/03/24 10:15 PM
1

The book is about the core of attraction, based much more in psychology than culture. It's still pretty accurate.
/r/seduction15/03/24 10:10 PM
1

There are only two types of women: women that are striving to be with one man for the rest of their life, and women who aren't. What an absolutely worthless dichotomy. God Ah, that makes sense. Hey kids, if you're looking for how to attract your religious virgin tradwife, we're not gonna be very helpful. Try a church social. For anyone existing in the real world, skip that paragraph. I don't have any major qualms with the overall message of thinking long term and doing things for yourself, but t…
/r/seduction14/03/24 09:47 PM
10

Giving affection to the amoggy dude? Honestly, you're right. He just couldn't handle the heat between us, it was too intense. Come back, Tyler...
/r/seduction09/03/24 02:50 AM
13

Yeah, this dude in particular was also really fragile. Got super reactive and defensive the second "his" girl started laughing at another dude's jokes. The funny thing is my friend literally wasn't trying. We were just hanging out, but Marine bro threw such a hissy fit I couldn't imagine anyone being attracted to him after it.
/r/seduction09/03/24 02:47 AM
13

You caught me, he was probably like 6'1". I've never been good at eyeballing.
/r/seduction08/03/24 08:32 PM
148

I've actually had this happen a few times. TLDR: Don't let yourself get bothered, have fun with it. Had a dude physically try to box me out, so I put my hand on the small of his back and whispered in his ear that I wanted to hear what he had to say. He apparently wasn't comfortable with intimate male touch, so he got spooked. The girls laughed, so every time he tried some amoggy shit, I gave him more...affection. He left. Another time I was talking to a woman outside a bar, a dude came in with a…
/r/seduction08/03/24 06:10 PM
0

Haha it was too good to not say something. And for very real. I've even spent a fair chunk of the last couple days working on how to answer the common getting-to-know-you questions. ...it feels nice to say that to someone who can relate. How's it been for you?
/r/seduction07/03/24 07:34 AM
0

You have a limp dicked petulant tantrum in the general direction of women. This is my favorite sentence I've ever read. I want it framed.
/r/seduction07/03/24 06:56 AM
1

I'm allergic to spoiled child. 10/10
/r/seduction07/03/24 06:52 AM
2

Well, that "LARPing" has worked fine for me. Honestly better as dating apps became more popular. So...yes?
/r/seduction07/03/24 06:51 AM
1

Night game is about energy and excitement, day game is about comfort and conversation. I'm fairly good at day game and **dogshit** at night game. I think most people end up leaning towards one or the other based on their disposition/preferences. I do have one friend who's great at both though.
/r/seduction07/03/24 05:27 AM
8

Women have a dualistic mating strategy due to how they evolved in our ancestor's evolutionary past. They want short term reproductive benefits (alpha seed) and long term provisioning (beta need). Deep breath Hahahahahahahahahaha
/r/seduction05/03/24 03:41 PM
1

...okay? They're still very effective.
/r/seduction05/03/24 03:08 AM
1

Condoms exist.
/r/seduction05/03/24 01:38 AM
1

I mean, there wasn't really a question tbh. It was, "Found a third, she said she's not up for penetration. What do?" For which the answer should be fairly obvious. Unfortunately, the only comment he replied to was, "tell her it's all or nothing," so our boy here might be about to fumble as well. You hate to see it.
/r/seduction05/03/24 01:13 AM
5

Sometimes you luck into it and have no idea what to do. I fumbled my first shot at one hard.
/r/seduction04/03/24 10:34 PM
2

If it helps, it's not like it took much effort. Your comments paint a real vivid picture.
/r/seduction04/03/24 10:33 PM
3

Neither mad, nor desperate. You said something thoroughly stupid, it deserved a thorough response. That said, you should quit while you're behind. Every line you write makes it more obvious that you're not interested in actually meeting or enjoying women, you just want other men to see you as someone who can "pull." Your "advice" conferred nothing of use or value to OP, except to tell him over and over that you're too good for what he's been offered. It reads like a field report of a failed DHV.…
/r/seduction04/03/24 09:25 PM
2

No, it's based on experience. Which is why it's so evident to me that you're bullshitting.
/r/seduction04/03/24 09:14 PM
3

This guy gets it.
/r/seduction04/03/24 06:00 PM
11

No, don't listen to that idiot. A year from now, would you rather have had a 2.5-some or cool guy'd your way out of 2 women? Also, showing respect for her boundaries means it'll probably happen again. Again, would you rather have that option or take the "win" of "not accepting half?" If it happens again, more may happen. Don't let your ego get in the way of the things you actually want. No one who matters will think less of you because you didn't burn this to the ground over a technicality.
/r/seduction04/03/24 05:59 PM
16

We should save this comment for posterity. It might be the dumbest thing I've seen on this subreddit in about 10 years. "Hey guys, I've been offered a threesome with on limitation. What do?" "FUCK THAT, MAN. Tell her she has to do something she's said she's not ready for or fuck off." Are you just mad this fell into his lap, so you're you trying to sabotage him? Are you trying to make us think you're so good with women that you'd be willing to pass on this offer? (hint: we don't) In what world i…
/r/seduction04/03/24 05:57 PM
2

This is a really interesting question. And because I'm old, I actually started out talking to girls in chat rooms in middle school. So I think I can help. . Texting with strangers like this feels a lot safer. You don't know them, they don't know anyone you know, so you don't have to be as anxious or worried about embarrassing yourself. But it's a lot harder to keep someone interested. The words we say are a small part of communication. Body language, voice, etc. have a lot more impact on how we …
/r/seduction29/02/24 10:51 PM
1

You should definitely just say fuck it. Remember, looks are a part of attraction to women, but far from the whole thing. The goal of social media/IG is to show the rest. Also...consider hiring/consulting with a photographer. Even if you don't use the pictures, they'll teach you how to pose and frame pictures better. It makes a massive difference.
/r/seduction29/02/24 08:15 PM
1

The fundamentals don't really change, IG just makes things a lot easier and more consistent. As a general rule, you'll need a little more interest to get a phone number, to be quicker about making firm plans (ideally as you're swapping numbers), and better at coming up with conversation (since you're not handed stories, etc. to reply to). With a phone number, you (ideally) want to see the person again within a couple days. With IG, up to a week really isn't a problem. So again, nothing dramatica…
/r/seduction29/02/24 08:01 PM
4

This isn't the counter argument you think it is. If she's just trying to boost her follower count, she's just not have given you her number. Or she wouldn't have replied to your text. So this makes no difference whatsoever. Then, if she doesn't reply...you can unfollow. You know that button exists, right? Meanwhile, for the women who would actually be interested in you, the progression from meet to date gets really easy. All upside, zero downside.
/r/seduction29/02/24 07:18 PM
9

Obviously, do your best not to get hooked on the whole social media thing as well. You don't want a tool to turn into mindless scrolling. But it's ridiculously effective. As the pictures, I've always felt the same. The more you can teach yourself to forget the camera's there, the better.
/r/seduction29/02/24 05:57 AM
-2

Oh, I'm well aware of the struggle. I discovered this subreddit 12 years ago when I couldn't get a woman to talk to me, much less date me. I used it - and the other charisma/game content I could find - to create a dating life I was really happy with. During peak dating app popularity. With no apps. As, at best, a 7 in looks. Really a 6. So from experience, you're wrong. Full stop.
/r/seduction29/02/24 05:02 AM
87

I'm sorry about the breakup. The bar for men right now is...odd. Painfully low as far as being a good partner goes, but kind of unintuitive on how to become someone's partner. 1. Social Skills This subreddit is more or less about the social skills side of things, so I'll just give an overview. Most people go into most interactions on some version of autopilot. Being particularly thoughtful about your body language, active listening, or the way you phrase things goes a really long way. Having goo…
/r/seduction29/02/24 04:48 AM
5

Ehh, not really. Looks help because you start ahead (people want to like you rather than need to be sold on you), and because when you feel attractive you act confident. But as far as men dating women goes, charisma goes a lot farther. Once you get out of high school/early 20's, emotional intelligence makes a massive difference as well. I'd go as far as to say if you're like a 7 across the board, you'll get twice as much out of making your charisma a 9 than your looks. Minimum.
/r/seduction29/02/24 04:43 AM
5

This started great, but I do see where it went wrong. She came behind me in the elevator doorway I didn’t see her so didn’t hold the door for her. So when she entered I said Me: sorry didn’t see you enter behind me she: don’t worry I didn’t notice. Me: jokingly said I know you’d probably say what a rude guy didn’t hold the door for me. Clean open. It's a good joke, and you didn't crumble or give up when she gave you a neutral response at first. Well done. Then asked about her name, I replied say…
/r/seduction29/02/24 01:00 AM
34

Seconding Models, it is the bible of "inner game"/mindset and changed the whole market for a reason. Also, social skills stuff like Charisma on Command is great - their YouTube has a bunch of free stuff. I don't have specific resources on hand for dating profile stuff, but honestly you should enlist help. Talking to/seeing my female friends swipe has shown me that I have no intuitive idea on how to make a profile.
/r/seduction09/02/24 12:01 AM
17

No. The vast majority of people, men included, want a relationship. So much so that the biggest threat to dating/pickup coaches' income is clients getting in a relationship. It's just that most of the guys who find their way here haven't had the experience of options. If they've been in relationships, it happened sort of by accident and they probably didn't feel like they could leave because they'd be alone. This post is the extreme example of having options. It's someone demonstrating his abili…
/r/seduction02/02/24 07:26 PM
7

I'm the same way, and that's very possible with the things you'd learn here. The fundamentals of being attractive and reading signs of interest, disinterest, or not-right-now are the same. But part of /u/TripleDigitNomad's strategy is actively selecting for women who are interested in casual relationships/hookups, you'd select for the opposite. You'd still start flirty, but less overt. Take conversations much deeper, and use dates to get to know her. You'd still show affection/escalate as it get…
/r/seduction02/02/24 07:06 PM
10

don’t understand how unsafe they may feel I was about to type this after reading the first paragraph, then figured I should read the rest. That's how evident it is. I say this with absolute care and compassion: You need to chill the fuck out. You're so fixated on what you think attraction and dating should look like, and what metrics you think mean it's going well that you're fumbling relationships that are going well. If they feel pressured, they won't want to meet you. If you seem short or bot…
/r/seduction27/01/24 05:33 PM
3

There's the sexy answer, and the very unsexy answer. 3-second rule is the sexy one, and it's a good one at that. The unsexy one is to sit with the feeling of anxiety you have around approaching until it has a name and a face. Figure out exactly what makes you anxious, generally some insecurity or inaccurate belief around the world and attraction, and solve that. Both have the same effect: Showing you that there's nothing to be anxious about. And you should do both. As with all things, the outer …
/r/seduction27/01/24 05:18 PM
16

I agree with this approach. Yes, it'll occasionally cost someone who's interested and turned off by you not fulfilling the social convention. But I think that's a lot rarer than a woman who isn't sure how she feels about you yet, accepts a drink, and just never gets there. And it's not like you have to say, "I'M NOT BUYING YOU A DRINK, LADY." If you just don't bring it up, it likely won't come up.
/r/seduction27/01/24 04:40 PM
10

You've kind of missed the point of OP's post, I think. I'm really similar to him, and it has nothing to do with neediness or not having things to do. I'm at no one's beck and call. Some women haven't liked it. When I pursued those relationships, I didn't find them very enjoyable anyway. But - get this - some really have. And I wouldn't trade those relationships for 5x as many distant ones.
/r/seduction27/01/24 12:10 AM
1

Oh, we're really similar. You don't need to change yourself. It can make really casual relationships tougher, but helps deep ones develop really beautifully. Since it can come off as needy, presentation matters. Not in the sense that you have to do anything special, but double check messages from time to time to make sure they don't read needy. I used to hate being this way when I was more pickup focused, but I wouldn't trade it. I'd be happy to talk more if you want or have questions. The best …
/r/seduction27/01/24 12:05 AM
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