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AntonioSLodico Archive

View 0 posts and 429 comments by AntonioSLodico on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

What are the nonverbal morality cues people give off that can be easily seen within the first 5-10 seconds of meeting them?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 08:32 PM
12

Unironically, yes, to a large extent. It's easy to see when someone is anxious due to non verbal cues. Morality doesn't really have clear cut non verbals.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:12 PM
1

How so? I know women who don't hook up, guys who hook up but can't maintain long term relationships, women who settle with a guy as attractive as their hookups, and yeah, women who went from party girl to gold digger in their late 20s. From what I've seen, actions just differ between women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:21 PM
1

You're looking at it like the options are hookup + husband material vs husband (but not hookup) material. The women overall here are saying it's not like that. Most seem to be saying they either aren't into hookups, there is no line, or that hookup material is just marriage material with long term incompatibilities. Where do you all think the disconnect here is?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:59 PM
9

Many men find that they are not even considered "default acceptable" by women they find attractive. That's where the gap is here. You see that as nothing, most guys here see that as a vast improvement from where they are now.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:49 PM
1

FWIW, I get looks and compliments for the way I dress (mostly about shoes and jewelry), and have gotten love for my shirts... after getting relatively serious about upper body strength training. That said, its not easy for dudes to really stand out in a positive way with fashion. And whichever way you go with it, there will always be haters from the other side. Too masc, not masc enough, too bougie, too country/street, too flashy, too bland. If its any comfort, women get it too, we just don't se…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 06:42 PM
2

the same difference between larping and playing a mmorpg.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:45 AM
6

regardless of how it is intended, many men interpret those terms as such: hookup material -> unbridled passion husband/boyfriend material -> checks the boxes of what i should like
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:40 AM
3

I think influencers are focused on maximizing their revenue by increasing engagement and getting followers to consume more content. If a follower of a dating advice influencer gets into a long-term relationship, they will have less need and less desire for more dating advice content. Content that isolates people on the other hand, if done well, can really help to build a parasocial relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 10:32 PM
10

I know what you're talking about, but I never knew there was a name for that style. Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 04:08 PM
5

what are Edgars?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:37 PM
11

Short dude here. It's both and other. Some women refuse to date us, some women dislike us, some women have a preference for taller guys, some women DGAF, some actually prefer shorter guys, and some even dislike and refuse to date taller guys. Sure, women are more likely to dislike short guys than dislike taller guys, and more likely to prefer taller guys than short guys, but the whole range of women are out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 09:33 PM
6

I never heard the term "dance monkey" before now, but there are definitely women out there who expect to be "entertained" by their dates or partners while not being particularly "entertaining" themselves. Similarly, it seems common for women to have dates where they ask questions and the guy just talks about themselves instead of volleying questions back and listening to her as well. In either case, dates who don't really put forth much effort or interest kind of suck, have some issues, or just …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 06:00 PM
2

I would argue that if you use any free online platform, you are the product. You might also be a potential customer, but your primary role only shifts to customer once your payments are part of a major revenue stream.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:39 PM
1

Thanks! As someone without kids, I might have missed it as well if it wasn't for Ashley Walters playing DI Luke. I was a fan of So Solid Crew like 25 years ago, and we are about the same age, so the nostalgia factor kind of hit me and connected me with the character.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:10 PM
1

I think the show Adolescence has helped men, and could help many more... but not in the way most people talk about it. IMO, Middle-aged dudes like me (but with sons) are the real target demographic for the message and call to change. There is so much time spent focused on the fathers (especially Eddie) and their lack of understanding of their sons and the world they are growing up in, the fathers not helping their sons navigate that world to become better men, and the fathers dealing with the ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 03:26 PM
5

You got to love that individual level advice for the systemic problem. Bet they respond to concerns about climate change with a recommendation to recycle, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 01:05 AM
1

-- My point is that they are far more restrictive of female agency compared to male agency, at least more so than the west. I was coming from reading "they" as being ambiguous and possibly referring to the regime, the people, or both. u/No_Mammoth8801 seemed to be talking about the people, while you seemed to be talking about the regime. I assumed that there was a disconnect there, and pointed at it along with what I assumed to be the reason - people in more democratic countries tend to see cult…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:17 PM
1

Countries that aren't particularly democratic are more likely to have more policies that are highly unpopular among the citizens of that country. The government of Iran is a conservative religious theocracy. Large swaths of the Iranian people are not conservative at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 03:07 PM
1

I am saying that cognitive bias will point people to the 80/20 (or other possible dynamics) regardless of whether or not it's true. And the math means most men will deal with a heap of rejection regardless of the 80/20 being true, especially in OLD. I personally don't know if it's true these days (I've been in a committed relationship for over a decade), but if it is, all my single friends seem to be 20%ers, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 04:13 PM
1

I think a lot of this is just a cognitive bias that comes about due to the combination of three factors: gendered expectations around approaching / pursuing, mathematical probability of getting rejected (even if attraction and selection were random and fairly distributed) and how social media and online dating mean that more men are shooting their shot more often. For example, an average woman goes on hinge and can likely get 100 messages in a week. Even if she decides to go out on a date every …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 03:20 PM
6

if the friendzone is not real, neither is the fuckzone, and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:56 AM
3

Tho wrong, I think I get where he is coming from. you are thinking about opportunistic violence while he is thinking about targeted violence. It's the difference between a bad guy waiting in the shadows for somebody they think they can easily overpower, and a bad guy waiting in the shadows for you with plans to use enough Force to easily overpower you. In the first scenario, being a strong guy who can seemingly fight is left alone, but being small and seemingly unable to fight means he will prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:10 AM
1

People in general aren't particularly good at accurately assessing risk, especially when they have unresolved trauma, like high ACE score stuff. Add a mix of horny, dopamine, and hormones, and it's a wrap. Because women are less likely to physically or sexually assault men, some of us men think that means we are better than women at mitigating risk/danger. Car crash, homicide, and accidental injury/death rates (among others) indicate otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 07:39 PM
1

Single percentage Point gaps on self-reported opinion with unknown or small sample sizes is hardly a solid base for statistically significant correlation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:13 AM
–

I read distinction a long time ago. the concept of social capital stuck with me. A lot of people here conflate social proof, status, and social skills with what is better defined as social capital. Also a lot of people don't recognize that social capital only extends as far as the related norms do. And in our current polarized environment, pieces can be assets or liabilities. depending on context. In the context of habitus, it often attracts in group while repelling out group. And the more that …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 06:07 PM
1

Thanks! It seemed pretty clear to me how kink events were different than the grocery store, but some people on here seem to really not want to understand how context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 11:51 AM
8

I hate getting spammed and cold called by random vendors 20x/day at work... Yet a couple times a year, I go to work conventions where I go to the main floor and interact with vendors for hours, and sometimes spend a bunch of money on them. Is that hypocrisy, or do I just wanna handle business on my time, and my terms?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:41 PM
-1

Yep, it also is dependent on a lack of infidelity across the planet for the past few thousand years. Which we have pretty good evidence of not being the case by any stretch the imagination, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:13 AM
2

IMO, there is A LOT of space between cold approaching and getting to know someone over a few weeks before asking someone on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 01:14 AM
1

If you're more right leaning, go to a megachurch and then get into some of the groups/activities that are more for young people with less overt religious tones. If you're more left leaning, go to a younger liberal church where there isn't a stigma around premarital sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 05:27 PM
2

Thank you. There are too many people on here who have little knowledge of economics beyond basic supply/demand models, so they miss all the aspects you mentioned, and more.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:35 PM
6

just get the guy to do some kinky submissive stuff up front, no bro who brags would dare say a word and risk his bros finding out he did anything submissive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:38 AM
1

I really don't know what marketing would work, I'm not a marketing guru. Even the best pros would probably generate and test market a bunch of ideas to see what works, with most falling flat. It stands to reason that if a marketing campaign could help women with body image issues and self-esteem, something similar could be done for guys. That said, it's not '05, so it would probably need to be astroturfed social media to gain traction. Ad buys would be a waste of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 03:57 PM
1

Last I heard, those body positivity campaigns did have a positive effect in women's self-esteem and confidence. I've also heard that women like men with healthy self-esteem and confidence. And finally, I've heard that men and boys of today are struggling more than before with self-esteem and confidence. Putting those three things together, wouldn't a marketing campaign designed to help the self-esteem and confidence of young men be a good thing, and it would likely improve the dating prospects o…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 01:07 PM
0

it's a giant waste of money and resources to criminalize something you have no intention of prosecuting, It can be helpful if you want to keep companies from entering that market at scale. Largely because of how it makes financing and insurance really sticky.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 07:47 PM
2

Most of my guy friends who are single have issues with either three or six. Of the four who don't, one has really high standards, one has a chronic medical condition, one has PTSD that they're working on, and one moved to a college town in middle age, where there are very few dating prospects for someone similar to him. I should say that all of these guys get dates, the issue is getting into serious long-term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 12:08 PM
3

At least I wasn't that other other dude who got caught with her, he ended up getting a nasty beat down. IMO, that possibility alone is reason enough to not mess around with people who won't be publicly affectionate with you. I'll take a bruised ego over cracked ribs any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 08:46 PM
2

Turns out I was the other man. Didn't get the memo until months after we quit talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 07:39 PM
2

I've had it happen multiple times. One I didn't mind, because I didn't see them as a good candidate for LTR either. The other one, it definitely hurt for a while before I figured out why she did it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 04:59 PM
1

Arguably Swingers, 500 days of Summer, and even Dirty Rotten Scoundrels fit. I've even heard people argue for Forrest Gump.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:09 PM
0

They find both types desirable. Some have an instant attraction to the looks of some guys, while others don't have that at all. Meanwhile, some develop a deep attraction to a person overall over time, while others aren't even wired like that. If you want to be desired for casual sex with people you don't really know, A. If you want to be desired by people you do know, especially for LTR/marriage, B. If you want to be desired for both, A & B.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:30 PM
2

Somewhat and yes. Whole/healed isn't a binary, it's a spectrum. That said, the more you have your shit together, the more others who have their shit together won't filter you out, and vice versa. And the more you and your partner each have your shit together, the better things will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 06:31 AM
7

You're right on both accounts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 01:08 AM
24

I hate to be the stats nerd bearer of bad news, but it unfortunately doesn't quite work like that. Asking 40 guys would only get you a 64% chance that at least one of them would be your ideal guy. 27 to get to 50%, and 90 to get to 90%. If anyone cares the equation is .975n = p Or log↓.975(p)=n n = number of guys you ask p = the probability an ideal guy is one of them (multiply by 100 for percentages)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 02:51 PM
0

They are training wheels. Having a bit of a script can help guys feel more confident when they aren't sure about what they should say or how. That can only help them get out in the real world more and get over their anxiety/awkwardness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 10:04 PM
2

Yeah, as men we make blunders when we learn, and we get roasted for it. You think that is something new? You stay a respectful gentleman, take the L, lick your wounds, and step it up next time. And don't make a move if you don't know how to gauge consent. That is what differentiates being awkward (okay, and you will laugh about it when you're older) from being a creep (which is not okay and you will cringe when you're older) for the vast majority of adults. Don't want to get roasted on social me…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 08:58 PM
1

Yes, you can not teach people how to flirt purely by giving them lines online. They have to learn how to interact with people IRL. Lines are crutches though, they can help people get started. I used to be awkward... But then I went out there and got better at talking with people. By going out there and talking with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 07:56 PM
2

In my first line comment, I put out a line to figure out how to bring up consent and how your partner prefers it. Other people addressed a way to initiate a kiss. Here is another one... "What do you do when you really want to kiss a guy?" Or "What's the most obvious signal you give a guy when you want him to kiss you?" When they do it, lean in just a little bit and grin and ask them to do it again. Then, with a little grin and a nod, go "Oh, so do that mean you're dying to make out with me right…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 07:16 PM
3

The meta. Understanding how the person you are dating sees it and wants it, if at all. If you get on a similar page about that, consent (or lack of) becomes a lot easier to navigate organically. Use an influencer (like what you shared) or something from pop culture to open the conversation on a more general level, then bring it down to the personal. Actual consent has to be in the moment. Though many acts also require pre conversations, especially when trying out new things.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 05:26 PM
1

I agree, but I think it really depends a lot on the person and how it's done. You can have this conversation very early on, fairly easily. If you're texting, jjust share something like this tiktok and get their take on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 04:58 PM
4

One way that has worked for me is to fold it into dirty talk. For instance, when things are getting hot and sex seems likely, here is a way forward, especially if they seem a bit kinky/freaky. "I want to do [adjective, like dirty, freaky, etc] things to/with you...but if you want it, you're gonna have to (or I want/need you to) talk dirty to me first. Tell me how you want it." * There are different ways to proceed from here based on her response, but I've found it a great way to build sexual ten…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 04:52 PM
1

For me, personality can have a huge impact on attraction. That said, it tends to be more impactful on the first impression, it won't make me attracted to somebody who I'm initially repulsed by, and kind and nice is a Baseline. I don't find someone more attractive when I see it because I expected, the people I see without it definitely become less attractive to me. It takes a lot more than that for personality to make me attracted to someone who I wasn't before. Love for life, wit, intelligence, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 03:11 PM
0

Sure. I just don't understand how people are wired like that. I know that they are, but it's just as weird to me as someone being turned on by a person they find ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:10 PM
1

I have had my share of hookups, but everyone I've ever been physically attracted to, I've found them interesting. Whenever I started finding them boring, the attraction disappeared. Also, after I lost attraction, I often then found them boring. This concept is so different from my wiring, its wild. Like at one level, I get that some people can be physically attracted to people they find boring, but I don't really get how that even works. It's like those people who can be physically attracted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:04 PM
3

Why would anyone want to be friends with people they find boring? Or why would they want to sleep with people they find boring?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 04:31 PM
4

Then he should get a second opinion from someone who was there. Fuck, maybe even confirm with her that she was not in fact giving him signals He seems confident that he correctly read them, and I don't really see anything else from him that suggests he is an entirely unreliable narrator. So I'll do what I usually do and accept it at face value. That said, even if she was acting in ways that no one else would consider a signal, the rest is still a bad look. "He thought she was flirting, but he to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:01 PM
4

If he thought he was getting signals in public, regardless of if he misread them or not, it is likely that other people might think that they were signals as well. The issue isn't that she rejected him, it's that after she told someone else, he became the butt of a joke. "He thought he was flirting with her, so he asked her out. She rejected him, told some other women, and now they roast him about it when they see him." If I heard that about a woman, she would 100% have to ask me out for me to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 08:44 PM
1

Then definitely talk about it with her. Focus on figuring out what is up with whose other women. Like why are they giving you shit? What is her relationship like with them? What did she tell them? And also, and this is really important, does she realize that this could be fairly damaging to her reputation at work? Regardless of whether or not she was flirting, if it looked like she was and the rejected you? I really suspect this is some mean girl shit where she was targeted.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 08:33 PM
2

Clicky people are like that. It sounds like OP doesn't know the full story here, between her about face, the mean girls finding out, but her still being sympathetic. I generally try to gather sufficient info to get an understanding of what is going on before planning my next steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 08:10 PM
4

Unfortunately, there are aot of adults out there who don't mature much past high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 08:02 PM
3

I have a suspicion that she was/is the primary target of the mean girls, and OP is more collateral damage. I wrote in my main comment that there is a way to attempt damage control here if that's the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:55 PM
6

She destroyed her reputation. She was publicly giving him all the signals, rejects him, then runs and tells the mean girls? What dude in their right mind wouldn't steer clear of her after hearing that?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:41 PM
1

Edited for clarity. I'm sorry this happened to you, it really sucks. It sounds like you might work with a clique of mean girls. It really seems like there are some missing pieces to all this. If you can stomach it, I'd swallow my pride and ask her to talk about it. Start by figuring out if she really feels bad about everything that happened. If she does, then proceed to get a better picture of what happened. Did you misread the signals? Was she honest about why she rejected you, or was it someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:39 PM
2

In my experience, more forward women generally have high libidos. Some more reserved women do as well, but it's not an overwhelming majority or anything. That said, both libidos and forwardness tend to be contextual.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 05:16 AM
10

Once again I'm reminded of the chorus of an old Dizzee Rascal song: "I'll make you respect me if it kills you"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:37 PM
1

I don't agree with his takeaway, but the better real world counterfactual* for gen Z voting is how other generations voted back when they were the age range that gen Z is now. For Millennials, that would be 08, and Gen X would be 92. *The best would be a model mixing years and generations (like a diff in diff for stats nerds) but that's kinda tough to explain, especially after I had happy hour, lol. I say this because while it might be a one off, the potential implications are significant, and D…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:30 PM
1

To be fair, I've browsed some history books from like a hundred years ago, and they definitely have some messed up takes in them. It's fine for people to get enraged by how our history is presented, what matters is which lens is used and why it offends people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:21 PM
1

I agree with all of that. A big part of the issue seems to be that most men don't even understand that there is a difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression, or the difference between expressing and communicating emotions. And you need that knowledge to know that there is a journey you have to take to become proficient at those things, and where you are at in that journey.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:54 PM
0

You can, once you become proficient at it. Unfortunately, a big part of society tells us to not show many of our emotions from an early age. So many of us don't develop the skill of understanding, identifying, and communicating our emotions in the right ways. Or we start, but aren't proficient yet, because it takes years. Then, when we do try to communicate our emotions, it's messy. So we get negative feedback for it. But the way we hear it, we believe that means we need to just revert to being …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:16 PM
1

Agreed. The issue is that neither men or women are particularly good at communicating around this issue. Some women say they want a man who is emotionally [available, mature, open, vulnerable, etc.]. This usually means they want men who are fully proficient at being able to feel, understand, identify, and communicate their full range of emotions and vulnerabilities in ways that are safe and acceptable to that woman. Call it "emotional proficiency" for the sake of readability. Meanwhile, society …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:07 PM
12

FWIW, bell hooks talks about how pervasive it is, even among liberal and feminist women, including herself, when she was younger. She also goes into what she believes is behind it in her book The Will to Change. Edit to add: Reposted as a top line comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 12:46 PM
2

I mean, that would line up without things are going economically. I did find it humorous that you called the unsuccessful extra f***** now, because technically the issue is they aren't getting f*****.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:03 PM
1

It's funny, I'm in my mid-40s as well, and have a number of single friends. They described it like you did. They never say harder, but they definitely all say it is weirder out there now.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:00 PM
8

Frankly, I don't really trust people under 30 who say that dating is harder now. Because how many of them were really dating 15-20 years ago? Sure, say it's hard, but if you weren't doing it before how do you have any clue that it would be easier for you then?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:04 PM
2

Frankly, regardless of the truthfulness of the allegations, the timing of them would make me wary. Deciding to do it after she got dumped means she likely acted out of spite of being rejected, first and foremost. I don't think I would be able to really be vulnerable and open with her, I would be too afraid. If I ever broke up with her, what would she do with what she knew about me? Would she kinkshame, narc on me, broadcast my insecurities, etc.? I get that there are valid reasons that people do…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 11:35 PM
2

So in this hypothetical, Sally made the accusation after Jack broke up with her?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 10:56 PM
–

I couldn't truly understand this until I hit a breaking point in a bad relationship. You can understand stuff like that theoretically, but it still might not viscerally register until it's you or someone very close to you. I believe this is true for a lot of aspects about relationships and dating, and it can explain why a lot of people with little to no experience have perspectives that seem off.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:06 PM
8

I'm curious, why do you use the terms "men" and "females" throughout, instead of men and women or males and females? Is there an intent behind it or is it just how you talk?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 12:44 AM
–

I agree, and think it's part of a broader issue. At the root, the incel pipeline is very similar to the ones for gangs, political extremism, and more. They all exploit the same root issues to recruit, and there isn't enough being done to counter or prevent it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 02:44 PM
–

It is a mens issue, in that many men feel unloved and rejected by women, and also by other men and by society. And when they turn to look for answers and support, they find some toxic ass pipines waiting for them. And then they become worse humans who get stuck in a toxic cycle. And society is worse for it. And those pipelines aren't just parts of the manosphere, it's fentanyl, gangs, political extremist groups, and more. That is a mens issue, because these pipelines are pointed at men, and men …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 02:36 PM
1

Nothing, Gifting cash for birthdays is gauche. Exceptions for kids and pinning money on shirts. Also, I only give birthday presents if I have been invited to celebrate their birthday. Exceptions for kids and people that I have exchanged gifts with in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:56 AM
3

It would 100% depend on the content of the courses for me, TBH. If it helped her to flirt, build sexual tension, give off an aura of confidence, etc. cool. Shit, I would even pay and write a review if it was solid enough. If it was about how to play head games, neg dudes, or be a Stepford wife, nah. Your friend sounds like the guys who want women who have big breasts but get mad at women who have breast implants.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 04:04 PM
–

It's just when one person wants a purely platonic or sexual relationship to become a full romantic one, but the other person rejected it or it's believed they would. Anything more specific than that really depends on who is using the words and how. Personally, I usually heard both in the context of people softening their hurt of being rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 11:07 AM
5

Gyms are physical spaces, a lot of neurotransmitters (endorphins, dopamine, etc.) get released during workouts, and people with toned bodies usually wear tight clothing or show a bunch of skin. For some people, that's enough to give it a sexual charge. And some gyms (like the LA Fitness by my house) get reputations for being sexally charged, which greatly reinforces it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:11 PM
1

ancient xer here... frame just sounds like a new name for hand, and I can't stop hearing this in George Costanza's voice. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:41 PM
2

I don't really believe in leagues, but there have been women who approached me who I thought were waaaaay hotter than me, and one or two who I thought were significantly less attractive than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 03:39 AM
2

I feel like you should debate u/ZoneLow6872 about that, lolololol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 10:54 PM
4

If asked, I'll say I ID as a feminist. I don't really ever just put it out there (or call myself egalitarian) though. Most feminists find that shit rightfully performative. Meanwhile, everyone else thinks it means something different, and I'm rarely up for those discussions that pretty much always go nowhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 09:46 PM
2

Oof. Im pretty extroverted, but even I have days where the earbuds go in when I go out. The people who don't respect them are the worst!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 09:41 PM
1

Thats fair. I was thinking more about people choosing to interact digitally and not with the physical world overall, not just with people. I wasn't thinking much about people who are just more selective with who and how they interact with others, because it often takes energy away from them. For both groups though, earbuds seem to work great to indicate a desire to not interact with other humans around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 09:35 PM
4

At this point, I just think of people on their phone (or with earbuds in) as wearing the platonic equivalent of a wedding band. It's an easy visual cue that they aren't interested in interacting at all with random people in meatspace. I'm not interested in interacting with people who choose to shut out the physical world all day. It does make me a little sad that so many make that choice, but it is their choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 06:03 PM
16

You nailed them all, thanks for saving me (and others) the time of typing all of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:00 PM
8

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:53 AM
60

> You can't be demanding equality while emphasizing difference Equal does not mean identical.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:46 PM
–

Communicating with friends can be a parallel experience builder. But yeah, confidence is key, and some people don't need to build it, they already have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:28 PM
–

Sure. Just like they can read about acting, sports, and all sorts of non-academic subjects that require real world real time interaction. Reading can provide insight, but that alone doesn't improve ability for non-academic things.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:25 PM
–

I agree, and see it in a way that aligns with OP's point. Most game and socialization skills come from experience*, and being able to better handle rejection allows you to gain experience more quickly. * If you learn the right lessons from it and don't give up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:07 PM
21

Only when men aren't needed can we be truly wanted. Shifting from codependency to partnership sounds like a step forward to me. But if you think it's all about height and dick, it will probably not be a good time for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 08:36 PM
–

Thanks. A couple of years later, that area (and my brick front porch) was destroyed by a truck doing a hit and run on it after an ice storm. The reconstruction prevented replanting there, and I ended up selling the place a few years later. My new place has all the dirt behind a fence, so the new blueberry bushes are pretty secure. That said, if I ever get open planting space again, I will definitely not be putting berries there, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:29 PM
3

old people are entitled as fuck Dear God yes! Some are insanely entitled. I used to live on a corner lot, and had planted blueberries in the side yard. One day, I came home from work and saw this octogenarian picking them and putting them into a basket. I walked right up and asked her if she enjoyed taking my blueberries. Without missing a beat, she looks me dead in the eye, smiles, and said “they are delicious, but you got to pick them when they are perfectly ripe, like this!“ and proceeds to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:44 PM
–

Free speech is about it not being illegal to say things. Even then, free speech has never been absolute. People having vocal opinions about what others say should be just as protected as what others say. You are talking about the change in what is socially acceptable to say, and who determines that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:55 PM
1

umm, you might be mixing me up with someone else in this thread. I do not think or talk or act that way about bigger women (or anyone or relationships and dating ) and have been in a monogamous relationship for the past decade plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:36 AM
1

I have no clue what the BMI of others is, unless they tell me. I'm not walking around with measuring tape and a scale. If I heard a woman had a BMI of 31 but I didn't see them, I might wonder how much is fat vs. muscle for a second, but I'd mind my own damn business about it. And if someone was shitting on her for her BMI, I would probably point out the same thing I just did. It's not a particularly good way to determine body fat percentage on people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 04:36 PM
1

Meh, my BMI is now 30.5, and it was 31 two years ago. In that time, I dropped four pant sizes and went from a beer gut to a six pack. Last time I had those, my BMI was 22.5. BMI based on height/weight can be wildly inaccurate, especially once you start building muscle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 04:09 PM
2

I believe the rule "the inviter should pay for the date" does not make things equal. It doesn't even make things any more (or less) equal, IMO. Also, I believe dating and relationships are largely asymmetrical. Making equality a goal isn't only unproductive, attempts are futile and frankly absurd, because there is no good way to quantify it. Men and women tend to have different challenges and fears in dating. Even if they were the same, men tend to approach similar risks and challenges different…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 03:45 PM
4

hehe, you said “hard“ launch, hehe.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 12:41 PM
8

what, no banana for scale?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 04:18 AM
3

Good point, the double standard is pretty weak. The suicide attempt (or rather the liability concerns around it) combined with the % who dropped from the study (thereby messing with the validity of the study) is probably what they meant by inhumane when they stopped phase II trials. I wonder if they saw the same when women did the trials, or if men are more susceptible to suicide and leaving clinicals due to side effects. Better mental health prescreening and higher cash incentives could probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 05:31 PM
1

Fingers crossed! I still wish it was funded a bit better to speed up the process.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 05:15 PM
1

I looked into this a few years ago. TL;DR - It seemed like the path through a successful advocacy campaign for the "male pill" would shit all over women's reproductive health efforts. The primary reason RISUG (and other male birth control methods) aren't on the market in the US is because they require significant R+D funding to get to the point where they are approved by the FDA. Presumably this is the same in other countries with similar per capita income. And the more money you have, the quick…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:45 PM
8

One cannot be dependent upon something one does not possess. have you ever met a drug addict in withdrawal?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:18 PM
8

For many of us, a relationship that is loving is an end in its own right. If you don't get that, finding a life partner will be much more difficult for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:11 PM
2

Shaving can definitely be a hobby, check out the wet shaving sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:19 AM
5

Men are more likely to be more conservative, and women are more likely to be more liberal, at least in the us. even if politics had no bearing on who people chose to date, you would still see more conservative man liberal woman pairings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 04:40 PM
1

you understand neither, and they provide wildly different results.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:48 AM
3

Violent and unhinged men are respected by both men and women. that is fear, which is different than respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 02:16 AM
–

Some people are just really lonely and desperate. Enough so that even someone pretending to desire them, even if it's just a decent performance, is miles above what they have been experiencing for years. It's not my thing, but I've had lonely periods of my life that were bad enough to understand and have compassion for people who are willing to go to these lengths and pay huge sums, just to have somebody feed them the illusion of being wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:39 PM
1

yes, all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:57 AM
1

I don't know man, it's not my thing. I've heard guys say they got into it after they got cheated on, which was traumatic for them. My guess is it's either desensitization to exposure or the fact that they initiated it and set up the whole situation gives them a sense of empowerment that they otherwise wouldn't have had.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:52 AM
31

It's probably the same reason more men a cuckolding fetish, an attempt to regain control of sexual trauma by reenacting it on their own terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:43 PM
2

TIL Roe v Wade was a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:41 PM
2

Wait till you how LL Cool J described it, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:23 PM
96

This is just them dry snitching on themselves, just like when Shapiro read the lyrics to WAP and insinuated that his wife was never wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 04:08 PM
4

42 to be exact.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 04:04 PM
–

This argument would hold just as true if you subbed out trp for flat earther.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:46 AM
5

It's both. - It's about hoping that women (and men, this isn't gender specific) do some self-reflection about what they want, why they want it, and what they actually need in a partner. - Then it's about easing up on some of their standards and preferences for partners that are ego-driven, superficial, and often fed to them by society. Things like height, weight, money. - Then it's about demanding some deeper complementary qualities in a partner. Things like mutual interests and passions, the ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:55 PM
2

Hi, guy used to have a wild side here. To answer your questions, yes, depends on the guy, depends on the guy, and I tell her I'm married so no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:36 PM
1

They are pro-cheating subs. People go there to talk about how to find other people who want to cheat, how great their affairs are, how not to get caught, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 05:04 PM
8

cakeeaters & adultery subs. Not even red flag, red card. Immediately ejected from the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 12:41 AM
12

there are huge amounts of mentally ill/dysfunctional women? I mean yes, women are people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 02:26 PM
1

The top way self-improvement helps with dating is by helping you feel better about yourself. And when you feel better about yourself, people are more attracted to you. You do not need to reach all your goals before putting yourself out there, but when you start feeling good about your progress, that will help you with putting yourself out there and how successful you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:24 PM
4

Women are also more into omegaverse stories than men. By your logic, that would imply some pretty wild preferences women have for partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 08:24 PM
6

OP, this is the best advice up here so far. Do what your lawyer advises, get what you can in the divorce. Once it is finalized, then you can let them know that she wasn't honest with them. Don't expect anything to come of it though, usually people stick with believing the side they hear first.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:57 PM
–

If there is a hot woman on OLD, they almost certainly have a lot of guys trying to get with them. Most of the people you see on OLD have been on there for a while, just based on general number distribution properties. Example: imagine last year there were 10 people who have been up on OLD for the whole year, and 1800 who were on for a day before matching and deleting. In that example, on any given day there will be an average of about 5 of those one day users, but 10 of those year long users. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:45 PM
8

this happens when people sit on their feelings or desires and do not process them or act on them. its also why limerance is a motherfucker.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 09:45 PM
12

Ewwww. I don't surround myself with anyone who does crap like that, regardless of gender. And it's not just because I'm too old for that shit, it always gave me an ick. Sometimes I forget how pervasive it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 06:43 PM
11

It happens. I know nightlife owners and managers who have a policy to automatically eject a guy when a woman comes up and tells staff that a creepy dude is bothering them. What that exactly means is subjective. But the risk of ignoring it (or asking clarifying questions and being seen as attacking the victim) is worse than overreacting. Because if they ignore it, they can wake up to a social media campaign saying the bar is protecting predators. Or legal action. There is no way to eliminate both…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 02:43 AM
5

I live in a metro of 2.2 million about two miles from the city center. It can happen anywhere a couple hundred or fewer people are regulars and socializing. I've seen a version of thisq play out in our after hours dance music scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 02:22 AM
24

I think you shouldn’t care what women like that think. They don’t deserve your attention. Those attitudes make intimacy difficult for them in their own lives. That is fairly easy when there is very loose to no community. But in tighter communities, one person who thinks you crossed a boundary and is vocal about it can get you ostracized or kicked out. So if 23% of women feel like being approached means a guy is being a creep, what happens when half of the time it happens she goes off to her peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:34 AM
1

Some women just want to be friends. Some are just manipulators, and they aren't always doing it consciously. On top of that, it is on a spectrum. Men have our own version of this, and sometimes the genders are even swapped. It even happens in the LGBTQ community. It would be great if we all could all just see peoples actual feelings and intentions upfront, and immediately adjust accordingly. But we can't, so we learn through experience, often fumbling along the way. It's on you and those closest…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:27 PM
1

Interesting. My experience was quite different. I wasn't exactly depressed, I was more hypomanic with low impulse control and generally irresponsible. Life of the party, but a shitshow at home. My work life and career was still on point, but all effort and self regulation went there. There were a couple of women who wanted more, but they were even more of a hot mess than me, lol. Most were type A types who had their shit together and had no interest in fixing me. They just wanted a taste of chao…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:00 PM
6

Way back when, after some life trauma and a rough breakup, I had a hot hot mess phase. I looked great on paper, was charming, but was definitely not ready for a relationship... even though I thought otherwise. It taught me a lot, especially this: Plenty of women will hook up and fuck guys with no desire to get into a relationship with them. And many of them will keep coming back if its good. It just requires you being seen as very fuckable but not relationship material. And yeah, it's fun, but i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 10:25 PM
0

agreed. i also am for platonic friendships with physical affection and compliments, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 04:34 AM
0

no, though more men should be more okay with doing those things. as long as their bros are okay with it... and you aren't lying about their fashion sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 04:15 AM
1

to be fair, i do these with all my bros... who are not touch averse or lack fashion sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 03:53 AM
3

nah.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 03:46 AM
4

Maybe not normal, but definitely hilarious. I want to write a sci-fi story just to sneak that line in.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 04:18 PM
6

r/brandnewsentence
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 02:14 PM
1

I meant what do you do to improve the quality of the questions that you do ask? For instance, I now realize I wasn't clear with my original question. So I should aim to be more specific on the questions I ask, to avoid miscommunications like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:57 PM
1

that is good. what are you doing to improve your ability to ask questions?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:18 AM
11

a lot of it can be done by how you ask questions. You can show curiosity, intelligence, empathy, the like just by how you pose your questions and maybe some short remarks to their answers. Frankly, I think the more you do this, the better you are when talking to women in the early stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:03 AM
1

Ahhh. I'm gonna keep an eye out for that in the future, thanks for letting me know.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 03:48 AM
2

Youre welcome! I'm interested in the idea that accountability is gendered here. How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:45 AM
6

The root of the issues you described isn't a lack of shame, it's a lack of accountability, driven by a lack of social cohesion. When social networks, institutions, and communities are less fluid, there are more established norms that are more enforced. When a cheater is known to a community and they can't just jump to a community that doesn't know, the reprocussions for cheating are greater and better known. This is a big pard of why mobility is often a greater predictor of crime than poverty.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 12:18 AM
2

Contraception unlocks the door, but it's socioeconomic factors that open it and walk through.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:55 AM
3

It's been said, but empathy is generally good. Seek to really understand where they are coming from. This tends to work regardless of gender. Active listening is a good way to get there. Her: "Women are systemically disadvantaged in X way" You: "Yeah, being systemically disadvantaged in X way must be tough. Like you can't just [example] because some dude might [example]. How do you deal with that?" (NOTE: Dont say "dudes are systemically disadvataged in Y way" now)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:40 PM
1

I had a feeling this might be the answer. This feeling came about by trying to understand where a woman saying something like that might be coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:23 PM
1

I call them moths. They'll keep getting the same life lesson until they pass the test.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:00 AM
1

Short answer: Safe. I'm too old for that risky shit, it's exhausting. Slightly longer answer: I'd pick risky if I was single and more interested in casual sex than relationships. Also, if I had to pick one for my life without knowing what the other one was like, I'd probably pick risky as well. The why might surprise you though. The "I reject the question" comment: Much like socializing preferences being flattened to introvert vs extrovert, this more of a spectrum/matrix than a binary. Everyone …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 01:58 AM
–

I like this analogy overall, though one part doesn't quite line up. I'm guessing the girl in the analogy wouldn't care if her partner games with other people. But most people are monogamous. "I tried it and didn't like, it so I'm not going to do it again" is fine. But in monogamous relationships, "Regardless of if you loved it or have always longed to try it, as long as we are together, you can not do it either" is also implied. It's not necessarily wrong, but it means something different. Ironi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:25 PM
1

Yeah, it's a lost art. Maybe I'm just getting old, but it seems like people are getting worse at being able to talk and listen to other people every single year. I hope someone figures out how to turn it around.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 03:03 AM
3

I have had female friends say they were attracted to me or put the moves on me, but never that they were in love with me. I always gave it a shot, and frankly, it never messed with our friendships. A couple of them even ended being decent relationships. Still friends. Now there have been one or two loose acquaintances who acted really strangely towards me. I could tell that they were crushing hard and I was not into them at all. I tried subtle hints at first, but that never works. So I put on my…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 01:32 AM
–

Sad, not for the sex acts, but for the relationship stuff. I could be a real self centered jerk to women, especially when I was younger. I don't have many regrets in life, but I wish I would have realized when I was being an asshole, cut it out, and apologized.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:10 AM
16

Women not being down to fuck a man ASAP is usually not about how hot the guy is. Men being down to fuck a woman ASAP is usually not about him not wanting a LTR with her. I'm convinced the biggest issue to dating and relationships these days is a shortage of empathy (and related things like tact) all around.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 05:28 PM
–

When I meet an amazing lady who is the whole package, I want to know she is into me for who I am, not just my money. I want a real partnership with an equal. That's why the first date with potential wifeys is just coffee or a walk. Meanwhile, the ones that are just looks and nothing else, I just want to sleep with them. So I take them on Michelin and James Beard restaurant first dates. Dazzle them, make sure they know I expect sex, and keep it transactional. The above is mostly a joke, in case i…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:52 AM
5

Definitely. Bars and other nightlife options attract women so the men will follow, and its generally a sound business deciaion. Whole genres of music got big because of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:54 PM
17

Fewer poor women at bars Fewer frugal women at bars. I've seen plenty of broke women buying dumb expensive drinks while ones with money stick to cheap libations. And the same for guys. I personally dig women who make bank and bargain hunt. Flaunting cash is tacky, saving it is building a better future.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:43 PM
7

Sorry to hear you can't cook, OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:03 PM
–

I agree overall, with 3 caveats: Casual and serious are two different things. While there is some fluidity between them, approaching them as one thing (the "sexual marketplace") misses a lot. Your take is significantly more applicable to casual. Men and women aren't monoliths, and neither are their preferences, requirement, etc. There is no "objective sexual marketplace value", just a bunch of people with a range of opinions about the pieces of your image that they see. If you aren't catching fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 05:49 PM
8

When an apple talks to me, I'm buckling up and calling a guide, because I just got dosed with at least .3mg of LSD and am in for a journey. That's 4 tabs for the old heads. Bus seriously, if a normal looking person is complaining about their lack of luck in love, I can deduce that the problem isn't their appearance. And after seeing tons of people who don't look an hotter being paired up in public, I'm going to deduce that there isn't an insurmountable systematic issue. What does that leave?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 03:07 AM
12

I can't always tell if an apple will have a worm in it. But when I see a worm in one, I'm not taking a bite out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 01:10 AM
1

> The term was originally used by women to describe their own loneliness. TIL. Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:18 AM
1

I largely agree. Though manosphere dudes see "cat lady" as a big insult, nothing benevolent. It does seem to sting way less than incel overall though. I think we agree on the meaning of incel. The only difference is that incels see the claim (that their perceived lack of romantic success is their own fault, due to their behavioral and moral failings) as false, while you see the behavioral and moral failings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:16 AM
2

I spent my adult life (Mid 40s, from a US Rust Belt city with major league teams) around actual radical feminists "normies" and all sorts of other characters. Three things I noticed might help: Radfems are definitely a small portion of the general population. Radfems are usually pretty vocally against body shaming men, and calling out "girls girls" bullshit in general. Like way more than most women. Women who always take the side of other women and gossip about men with small dicks run the polit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 11:56 PM
13

"Cat lady" is just the female equivalent of "incel". An insult that claims their perceived lack of romantic success is their own fault, due to their behavioral and moral failings.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 02:23 PM
6

If I were Trump, I'd also tackle the arts/entertainment industry by sending the DOJ to fully investigate all the pedophilia and sex crimes in Hollywood, and then prosecute everyone involved to the fullest extent of the law. Why would you create a task force to put yourself in prison for the rest of your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 03:51 AM
2

11 and counting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:28 PM
0

Wildly, those definitions seem reconcilable with each other, save trust. And if you see trust as something that isnt necessarily binary, even that can be reconciled.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 05:29 PM
–

Being wanted by a woman you like is awesome. Being needed by a woman you like is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 04:54 AM
1

In this argument? You. Your original post compared the "privileges" women have in the West to what they have in Saudi Arabia. That is, unless you believe that the baseline for basic freedoms of humans should be at (or below) the level of what women have in Saudi Arabia. Do you believe that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 04:08 PM
1

Also, the idea of expensive early dates is wild. Unless you knew someone before you asked them out, you really only know their physical appearance. Dates are supposed to be about having fun, getting to know someone, and how you two interact. If you toss a bunch of money at women you don't know and hope they will like you for it, you're telling them you only care about their physical appearance. You're pushing a sugar dynamic AND you're pushing her away if she isn't into it. Meanwhile, not only a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 04:02 PM
0

The more that men can be satisfied and happy in their life independent of having sex or a partner, and the more they build up their self esteem, the less BS they will put up with from women. Ironically, it will help those men be more attractive as well. A lot of women already figured this out for themselves, and more men should follow that. This is why therapy is often promoted. Because it can really help with that. Women generally bring their bodies and not much else, To the degree this is true…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:48 PM
4

The burden of proof is on the person asserting AXALT, not the person who doesn't buy that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:47 PM
6

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:02 PM
6

No. Denying basic freedoms to a whole class of people because some of them are bad actors is systemic oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:01 PM
9

Any group with a significant degree of freedom will have some people among them who choose to do assholish things. If you state that is a good reason to limit freedoms for a group, you are using your freedom to do an assholish thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:38 PM
5

If by mental issues you mean unresolved trauma, definitely. Being poor definitely exposes you to more trauma, indirectly and directly. And therapy is usually much harder to reach for poor people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:10 PM
–

I'd argue that the core issue was not Me Too, but Me Too (and BLM, and more) is a symptomatic example of a larger challenge for "The Left" (TM). Messages go viral online to become a movement, but end up a moment. These viral moments trace back to before Occupy, but Occupy was the first of the social media age. With social media, messages can spread quickly without a sizable infrastructure or organization behind it. And they tend to be amplified by influencers and celebrity activists who are eith…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:53 PM
4

Im a hip hop nerd as well, and came to the exact opposite conclusion. Dated some women who could go bar for bar on old Organized Konfusion and Freestyle Fellowship tracks. Didn't work out because there wasn't compatibility in areas way deeper than shared interests. Common interests are nice as a hook to help build a connection, but they aren't deep enough to sustain a relationship on their own. Frankly, respect for each others interests works just as well in the long term. Look deeper for longer…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 08:51 PM
2

The benefits of having platonic female friends beyond benefits similar to platonic male friends? They are often better wingpeople. They are usually more into cooking with me, and I love cooking. They tend to be better about things like remembering birthdays and other occasions. And are more likely to give gifts, bring dishes, etc. Most guys might show up with booze. They hold up their end of a conversation better, especially if we aren't talking about a specific hobby/interest. They are better a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 11:23 PM
6

It seems like you might be taking your personal experience, political beliefs/world view, and preconceived notions, then presenting them as universal fact. Do progressive/leftist men seem to largely agree with you about this? If not, have you considered there might be a cognitive bias at play here?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 06:31 PM
10

I'm with you. Read each bullet point, and the first thought of each was that his experience doesn't match mine at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 05:31 PM
3

Conservatives tend to skew male, older, fundamentalist, and small town/rural. Most single guys are in cities, looking for younger* women who don't want to wait for marriage before having sex. So unless they are intentionally filtering on ideology, they are probably trying to date way more liberal women than conservative women. *Younger in general, not necessarily younger than the guy. Most single guys are also younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 06:26 AM
17

a lot of people still on the market are there for a reason. Yuuuuuup. People who have standards way beyond what than they can offer themselves are way more likely to stay single way longer. Just like when you go on Zillow and see all the crazy overpriced houses that have been on the market for forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 07:21 AM
3

Dating challenges facing men and women can definitely be different, but harder for women, in this aspect?! For me, the argument fails on multiple levels. I've been on both sides of job interviews, and plenty of other dynamics with "seller" and "judge" roles. I've always found the "seller" role more difficult. I've heard plenty of others say the same. This is the first time I've heard anyone say a "judge" role is more difficult. Guys who are just selling and not judging when they date are either …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:24 PM
–

It matters to women. Though it seems to matter more to heterosexual men, ironically.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 07:01 PM
3

Social media and rising income inequality drains our empathy and replaces it with FOMO... And fear, and anxiety, and greed, and envy, and jealousy, etc. RP (and the manosphere) is not the root cause, though the toxic views you laid out (and more) definitely contribute to the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:16 PM
4

Why do you think men cater to women? I think many men do it for specific women on the front end because they want those women and think it will attract and keep them. Why are women more in demand? Why are men over-supplied? I don't think they are. I think a lot of men just put in a lot of effort to attract the same women. And vice versa, though in different ways. And I think that causes issues for everyone. Do you think the latter two are social or biological? I think it's largely statistical. E…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:17 PM
7

Early relationships usually have a honeymoon phase, and that comes with NRE - new relationship energy. When that fades, it brings about a number of ways attraction drops and relationships end. Here are the top 3 IMO: The relationship was all NRE, and a deeper connection never formed. One (or both) people are chasing NRE, and often mistake it for being the same thing as being in love. So they jump out and go to the next new relationship for more NRE. People find deep incompatibilities, dealbreake…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 04:53 PM
3

I largely agree, with two points of contention. Generalizing by archetypes and mind reading is done by people with all levels of dating and romantic success. People who never struggled dating are arguably just as bad about giving advice, if not worse, when compared with people who have struggled and never been successful. The best advice is tailored to the individual. But the next best is people in a similar situation with a similar problem who overcome it are better equipped to advise others on…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:42 PM
1

If you try something once or twice and a good result occurs, it's luck. When you keep trying that something until the good result occurs a couple dozen times, it's probability.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 04:11 PM
0

I always thought Europe and UK especially had a robust working class population Countries with lower poverty are generally easier places to find people who will send a decent amount of money to things like a random internet profile with a story or an OF account. That said, I have no idea if that is happening on Tinder, I'm just half joking because of all the people here who say there aren't any women on Tinder, just bots, scammers, cam girls, sugar babies, and the like.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 09:59 PM
5

Bots and e-thots can get more money in places where there is a more robust middle class?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 09:40 PM
–

The target audience in the developed West is not people driving or being affected by FGM, though there may be individuals who receive that message who are. The target audience is people with money and power in the developed West, the vast majority of whom are not driving or being directly affected by FGM. 80% is significantly greater than .3%
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 06:40 AM
–

I agree with all of this. It's a sticky issue and you're totally right about babies and auto only/consent. That said, I would still bet $500 that the autonomy and consent framing would track better than "stop mutilating" to a group where the majority of eligible have had the procedure done.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 10:44 PM
–

This is a common issue of any non grassroots advocacy issue, and also grassroots campaigns that are funded by outside groups. You have to listen to the people on the ground and help them lead, their way, if you really want to effect change from the bottom up. Otherwise, you're just lobbying with extra steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 09:55 PM
–

There are at least two distinct target audiences in your example. I think that the term FGM works in the developed West, as it helps to drum up outrage and donations to their cause. Since the practice does not occur there, EDIT TO ADD: the audience does not include the people driving and being affected by FGM. So the impact of the language in the developed West has much less impact on changing the hearts and minds of the people that could stop it. I can not speak about it's efficacy or impact am…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 09:31 PM
13

Frankly, a huge barrier to swaying public opinion against circumcising baby boys is the language often being used. When you call it MGM, you are saying circumcized men have been mutilated. Which carries a significant negative value judgment about our penises being cut. That is likely to be off-putting to circumcized men who don't see anything shameful or negative about being cut. The issue isn't whether or not circumcision is a net positive or negative for a man. That should be a decision for ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 05:12 PM
2

The top of this thread was about initiating, not pursuit. I don't see where they are only talking about one sided pursuit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 01:20 AM
1

I'm in my mid 40s and have seen my share of relationships as well. I agree that if one person does all the pursuing, the other person usually isn't super interested. Especially when it's the woman who does it all. That said, asking someone on a first date is one step, not the entire dynamic. In my examples, I definitely asked them out on second dates and did my share of pursuing. Most of the best relationships I've seen were where both people were a bit assertive and excited about it in the earl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 01:02 AM
8

I disagree. For a chunk of my teens and early twenties, I was usually too scared to make a move, especially with women I crushed on hard. One or two eventually asked me out, and I was over the moon about it. It might not be the norm, but I'm not the only one who was ever like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 07:25 PM
10

Yup. Totally this. Also, there is "The Bachelor" effect. Even if a guy has secure attachment, the more women there are that show him interest, the statistically less likely he is to pick a specific woman. If there are 100 women trying to get with a guy who agrees to get with one (amd only one) of them, their odds upfront are only 1% each.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:07 AM
5

Many women have tons of matches on the apps. This means they have to filter down these options fairly quickly, which also means they are filtering on very limited information. The most popular way to do this is to raise standards, particularly around the visceral and quantifiable. At least until the number of matches becomes manageable. Since these things are generally objective, or with enough consensus to be near objective, this means that most women who are matching are going after the same d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:21 PM
34

That argument is nothing new. Wilhelm Reich pushed it about almost a century ago, in The Mass Psychology of Fascism. There is some truth to it, if you look at it more broadly. Plenty of men these feel like they can not reach even their modest hopes and dreams, ones they have always been told were attainable. House, family, etc. They feel disrespected and disposed by society. At that point, many will be open to just about anything that appears like a path to get there. This makes them easy prey f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:46 PM
7

Not seriously dating across the aisle has been common in many of my circles since the 90s. And a lot of women I know get the "ick" from guys with seriously differing politics for at least as long, though it's somewhat less common. I think that much of it is less about issue stances than what's going on behind them. It's rare to find two people with wildly different politics that still have a truly compatible way of observing, processing, and interacting with their partners and the world in gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 07:55 PM
14

This whole discussion is wild to me. A good chunk of this sub is people bemoaning how men or women pick partners off superficial traits. Now in this post, people are admitting to filtering for compatible belief systems and apparently that is a problem as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 05:37 PM
4

Republicans also get abortions at similar rates to Dems and Independents, yet here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 02:50 AM
–

Here is the thing with casual voters though. They tend to choose based on "vibes" and not things like policycraft/issue stances or merit/resume. The only way I've seen to get them to turn out on issues is by serving up some left field red meat. For those that don't know, left field is something that isn't really on politicians radar as a major issue or policy proposal, and red meat is something that can provoke a visceral and immediate emotional response by members of the target group. Trump did…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 08:52 PM
–

From polling returns and analysis, it looks like there wasn't a large swing vote that shifted from Biden to Trump. Instead, it appears as though the main change was that a significant portion of people who voted for Biden in 2020 stayed home this election. You might be correct about the reasons why so many stayed at home. That said, seeing the gender split on turnout between 2020 and 2024 is the first step in testing it as a hypothesis. For now, it's just a belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 07:04 PM
2

those guys have no issues getting married when they actually want to. They have no issues with the initial attraction phase. But getting married (and vetting someone for marriage compatibility) is a whole other skillset. One that they usually never develop. They never spent the time being a good partner and never spent the time to identify what makes a good partner for them, because that didn't matter. So when they really want to settle down, they end up tending to be a shitty partner, matching …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 11:10 PM
2

Fuckbois by definition are immature guys (BOIS) who FUCK. Using manosphere language, most women see them as "for recreational use only", if that, and not as relationship material. Occasionally, women who hook up with them catch feelings or try to change them. But usually they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 10:45 PM
1

Sensitive is one of those tricky words, like strong, love, respect. They can have wildly different definitions depending on who uses them and the context in which they are used. Tangentially, the word with the most definitions (645) has only three letters. Can you guess what it is? Answer: RUN
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:34 PM
1

1 and 2. You're right. I came of age in the 90s, when sex Ed was much more limited and "no means no" was the end all and be all of consent. No means no left a lot of problems, but yes means yes has issues as well. Both is best. You use independent auditors to craft and track metrics. Going into detail might take a while if you don't have background in survey design, outcomes tracking, program evaluation, performance auditing, and the the like. If you really want, I can get into it, but not tonig…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:53 AM
1

I said it in my first sentence. A by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 06:47 PM
11

Examples: Education - expanding sex Ed to cover dating and relationships. Identifying abuse/trauma, and ways to heal and move forward. Marketing - "yes means yes" type campaign encouraging clear and affirming communication around sex. Nudge campaign - tax credits for OLD (or all matchmaking services) for making matches that become successful long term relationships. Or maybe a tax credit for ones that have more equitable distributions of who matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 06:22 PM
1

A by default. Age is negotiable for me, the other stuff really isn't. I would prefer if she was closer to my age and not as young.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:58 PM
1

I think you could just create a platform for govt verified ID, and most people would self sort into those online spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:15 PM
15

There is a lot that could be done via education, marketing, and nudge style carrot policies. Assuming you don't see those as creeping towards totalitarianism.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 04:45 PM
6

Assuming my title was within the frame of a modern democracy, and largely limited by the scope of the title, I would do a few things, including: Put Dating Ed into school curriculum like OP, merging it with Sex Ed, and have it regularly from early adolescence through graduation. Encourage some healthy norms, build EQ, and help get people away from thinking in deterministic absolutes that are ultimately self sabotaging. "Ladies come first" marketing campaign to close the orgasm gap. Make it the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 04:44 PM
4

Okay, then my point isn't for you. But a surprising number of guys shoot themselves in the foot by saying they only want casual, unprompted, to women who are fine with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 12:15 PM
2

Ah, that's the miscommunication that's getting me downvoted. Absolutely you should be honest. I meant you don't just tell someone you only want casual sex (if they don't ask) just because they want to hook up. If you do that, you are assuming they want something serious. You can ask what they are looking for and then if they want something serious, you tell them you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 12:11 PM
-3

Dude, if a woman is interested in casual sex with you, telling her * you aren't interested in a serious relationship is just about the worst thing you could say. It presumes she is considering you for a serious relationship, which most women would consider pretty arrogant and a person who assumes[incorrectly]. It can definitely give the ick. *Edit: telling her without her asking. Don't lie or hide it. But ask her what she wants, don't just assume that she wants a relationship with you and tell h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 06:13 AM
1

I think it really depends on the "why" behind it. Sometimes, people just grow apart, or don't realize they aren't really compatible until after they get married. Sometimes the person they are with just isn't really their person. But sometimes it's not really the relationship. Sometimes it's when People mistake new relationship energy wearing off with there being something wrong. People think the grass is greener elsewhere, and it's because they don't water their grass. People are just unhappy an…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 06:46 PM
7

Im not gonna go into the production value of the show or the quality of the writing, etc. I will say this about the character development. Carrie is kind of a shit person. A self centered, superficial, cheater and other woman. One who is neurotic, dramatic, and loves playing the victim while rarely learning from her mistakes. But she is supposed to be the protagonist?! If the show actually calls her out on this, gives her a legit reckoning, or she becomes a much better person over time, it would…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 10:15 PM
2

I thought you meant Physical Education. Like "nah, I don't lift weights with my dick, I do it the old school way... With my arms!!!" 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 03:54 PM
2

"I can fix them"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:54 PM
4

Men’s sexuality is constantly both demonized and exalted, creating a super toxic situation Yay for equality? But seriously, this is an ethical question I've wrestled with for a while. Getting rid of a privilege for the sake of equality, is it always, never, or sometimes justified? And more importantly, what makes it so? 20+ years ago I would joke that gender equality, if not done with collective liberation in mind, would end up with the norm just being men asking if those jeans make their ass lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:17 PM
1

Thanks for answering, doubly so for being candid and self aware in your reply. What you said makes total sense, and I get what you mean about how the resentment set in more quickly
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:16 PM
2

I’ve gone on dates with guys I wasn’t sure I was physically attracted to. Did you end up finding some of the guys attractive and moving forward with them? If so, what did it? Was it less likely or less intense than the guys you were immediately attracted to immediately? Did things proceed any different between the ones you instantly found attractive, compared to the ones you eventually found attractive? I'm not asking as a gotcha, I'm genuinely curious. Like, how big is the hurdle from maybe att…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 06:25 PM
2

It sounds like you're saying that you believe if a guy makes a move to have sex early (like either before or during the first couple of dates) it indicates he isn't interested in a LTR. Is that correct or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:31 AM
1

Submissive and masculine aren't antonyms. That said, passive women aren't really my thing. I prefer women who are assertive, or even a bit aggressive over passive or passive aggressive. While most of my friends are of a similar mindset, I'd be willing to bet that at least half of men aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:00 PM
36

One of my best friends was a porn actor for a couple of years. He said it was usually harder for them to find men than women. That is because porn directors usually have requirements that, when combined, filter out most potential male actors. Large dick size. The stamina to fuck for an hour plus. Can maintain an erection for that time, in a cold room, full of people watching them. Willingness to be directed throughout. Ability to hold orgasm to the end. Large volume of semen. Passes a rapid STD …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:59 PM
8

women will do more sexually with committed romantic partners as opposed to a hookup, True for some, though other people are wired the opposite way. They don't want their SO to think less of them, so they only do really kinky things with people who they aren't in a serious relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 11:50 PM
2

I don't, and my friends don't either. That said, a lot of guys do. Some are depressed religious types, some are unsuccessful with women, but some are neither. Some men get validation from sleeping with women who have had few or no partners before them. It's because they see it as women doing something special because they are special. If the woman doesn't see sex as something special, then a guy isn't special for hooking up with them. It's weird and took me a long time to get this, but it is a t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 08:28 PM
11

It's less strange if you look at it from a slightly different angle. People without self control and inner peace tend to spend way more energy trying to control the world around them. And some "succeed", occasionally to extreme heights. Of course it's the dudes who don't master their own domain. Who else would make it their life mission to create the biggest hierarchies possible, with themselves at the top?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 12:09 AM
30

FWIW, the vast majority of comments like that seem to be people joking.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 07:42 PM
11

This dynamic holds in just about any situation where perceived possible options are large. People will generally start the selection process by filtering based on immediately observable characteristics until there is a more manageable number of perceived options left. If stakes are low, they might just pick randomly or by some easily observable arbitrary criteria at that point. If it's higher stakes, they gather more info and narrow down the options further until they pick one or a couple and tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 05:16 PM
4

Letters were longer form on both ends, filled with more flowery language and complete sentences. But low-key indicators of disinterest (short, flat responses, no questions to continue conversation) absolutely still existed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:17 PM
2

It just replaced writing letters.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 11:36 AM
4

Same.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 04:13 AM
–

What does fairness have to do with dating? It might be nice if it was though. Attractive people generally do live by a different set of rules and expectations than unattractive people. Most people who have had drastic changes to their appearance can corroborate.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:00 AM
3

Agreed, mostly. That said, there is a case to be made for only dating one person at a time if you're looking for a monogamous LTR. For example, say you like to go out five nights a week and are going out with five different people once a week. Committing to one of them will probably end in them not wanting to go out five times a week. Or each one gives you 20-30% of what you want. If it adds up to 100%, you become more unwilling to sacrifice 20% if someone comes along to offer you 80%. It also b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 06:05 PM
3

There’s no way to genuinely compare the two because women’s chances in dating are significantly higher than men in general. Technically, there is a way, statistically speaking. Measure the difference between men and women without mental illness. Let's say it's 40% (m) vs 60% (w), which is a 20pp (60-40) or 50% (60/40 - 1) gap. Measure the difference between men and women with mental illness. Let's say it's 15% vs 45%, which is a 30pp or 200% gap. Compare the two differences. 30pp > 20pp AND 200%…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 05:40 PM
3

Also, women like that usually support their men heavily in their rise to the top. That's loyalty, respect, and trust, and something else as well. It usually takes a deep understanding of your partner, their needs and a lot of work to help them get there. And that goes way beyond housework, which is significant in its own right. They usually take on advisor, coach, therapist, and more roles, under huge stress and low amounts of time together A billionaire could meet the "perfect" partner, but the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 06:08 PM
3

You think people should keep on the apps if they are failing there?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:52 AM
4

Most good advice is tailored to the individual. Here, understanding age, location, lifestyle, goals, how they interact, and more would be a lot of help. That said, I'd tell them the following: Their self improvement measures are heavily weighted on their appearance, with reading books and having hobbies being the exceptions. Work on self fulfillment, actualization, etc. will payoff less in the short run, but they are huuuuuuuge in the long run. I see nothing about what this person's passion is, …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:47 AM
2

If you really wanted it to be comparable, you have to add that if they decline and are wrong, they might have to pay 120k and lose 2 years of their life (approximately average waking hrs and half the average cost associated with raising a child), or multiples of that if he has had multiple affairs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:38 PM
–

Yuuuup, that bit is what did it for me as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:26 PM
–

Okay, upon further review, I can see that. Edit: hyperlink formatting
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 03:13 PM
–

Making plans is conservative now? I also lift and pay for dates, am I gonna need to change the party affiliation on my voter registration? 😆 I can at least somewhat understand the idea that lifting and paying for dates aren't seen as liberal. Though that seems to mostly be a thing among white white collar dudes. But making plans?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 03:03 PM
–

Nope. I'm married. I have two intact kidneys. I'd like to keep both 1 and 2 that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:14 AM
1

D. If you want to be playful, you can say something like this If you aren't married: "Don't worry, I gotchu. I'll take care of all of it, all you need to do is just sign the title over to me." Smile and wink If you are married: "Too bad you didn't marry a guy who can fix cars... or pump gas." Smile and wink If you want to actually hurt or make a point, don't. In those situations, it's just passive aggressive, and not a good look or helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 05:53 PM
7

Like what am I missing here The timing often doesn't work. A man can be on the hook for child support for 18 years if he finds out he isn't the biological father on the way home from the hospital. Birth certificates are usually completed in hospital, before discharge. So by the time a guy can have a paternity test completed without mom knowing, he is already on the birth certificate. In many jurisdictions, finding out your aren't the biological father is not an acceptable reason to get your name…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 01:09 PM
3

Is trust ever absolute and unconditional? Wouldn't the closest parallel here be making the dude take a polygraph? Why not make paternity fraud a civil or criminal offense? It is a form of theft by deception.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 04:43 AM
3

Agreed, with one small addition. Testing the waters includes assessing if she is even open to talking, then a bit of banter as a vibe check, and only then going to flirting if the first two were all good.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 02:53 PM
0

I'm living proof you're wrong, lol. I'm 5'5, and have a bit of an ogreish face. Oh, I'm also balding and obese*. My wife still loves and wants me though. I also still occasionally get attention from women out in the world, if I'm having an "on" day. Maybe I'm ugly hot to some? Regardless, the point stands. Even short, thick, bald dudes with faces that aren't conventionally attractive can pass the threshold with some women, if (personality, style, presence, intelligence, wit, character, etc.) is …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 01:54 PM
16

It's wild how many people on here are downplaying this or saying it's a form of looks. Meanwhile, a huge part of manosphere and PUA advice is essentially this, but called "natural game" or "alpha behavior" or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:28 PM
3

Assuming the studies were legit and hold up, have any of the researchers dug a bit deeper to test out reasons why this might be the case?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 06:28 PM
1

I don't really care how many irons anyone has in the fire, save my SO. But if someone wanted to get into something serious, they'd have to first set them all aside and focus on me. I'm not playing The Bachelorette unless I'm getting paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 12:53 AM
6

Thanks! It's probably a common sentiment, and a big part of why so many dudes get pissy about women and "the caulk carousel".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 12:25 AM
40

I've been in both types of relationships before, they are both awful. If I had to go the rest of my life without love or without sex, I'd go without sex. Libido killing drugs exist. And a life without real romantic love just seems sadder and lonelier than a sexless one. That said, if I could leave after a year or so, or if the relationship could be open, I'd go for sex. It's way easier to leave a loveless relationship with great sex. Opening up a true love relationship would probably be too pain…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 12:15 AM
5

A lot of times, people have an overly simplistic view of communication, and think they are better at it than they are. If you say "I want more sex" but behind that is a core need to feel desired, your partner might have more sex with you in a way that leaves you feeling less desired. If you tell your partner that you want to feel desired, and their response isn't to try and figure out what that looks like and how they can do that, that's a form of communication as well. So is tone, body language…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:09 PM
1

Is your friend part of Tha Dogg Pound by any chance? In my experience, that's fairly rare. I have had a lot of fairly promiscuous friends and acquaintances, but only one ever admitted to doing something like this. And he had racked up over 100 partners by the time he was 18, then had 5 kids to 4 women by his mid 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 08:25 PM
3

FWIW, excitement and anxiety are very similar biologically, with the main difference being positive and negative sentiment. A lot of people can actually consciously shift from one emotion to the other, with minimal training.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 07:46 PM
5

There is advice across the pill color wheel that will take years to really bear fruit. There is also advice that might improve your odds in a matter of days.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 10:51 PM
3

I probably wouldn't do it, but I would want to have the conversation with my partner and talk through it with her, like with any kink. Generally with kinks, you need to consent/interest, safety, and keeping a solid line of open communication. Opening a monogamous relationship is generally considered fairly unsafe. At least for emotions and relationship health. Cucking is a form of opening a relationship. And I'm in a monogamous relationship that has been going strong for over a decade. I'm not i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:10 PM
5

If you're committed to this route, please do me one favor. Spend some time on the subreddits r/narcissisticabuse r/bpdlovedones and r/survivinginfidelity. Learn the most common red flags. What you want will leave you extremely susceptible to love bombing. Which massively increases the chances you will be traumatized by that person. At least this way, you'll be prepared and can cut early.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 12:09 AM
7

I hear you on you wanting a woman who wants you more than anyone else. But there is an issue with the way you're looking at it. The woman who wants you more than anyone else at first sight, and the woman who wants you more than anyone else after 10 years will probably not be the same woman. Not to mention, it's most likely that a whole other woman would be the one who would make you the happiest and your life the best. Attraction is a motherfucker like that. Sorry to break it to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:41 PM
–

Some men really care, some really don't. Stop believing that everyone thinks and feels how you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:26 AM
2

Trying to be more receptive to people who seem truly into you (vs ones who seem to not be) is solid advice. It's just that like most good advice, while it ups your odds at success, it doesn't guarantee anything. You can do all the "right" things and still lose because you got unlucky. And vice versa. It doesn't mean they weren't "right" or the advice was bad. I feel like that's something a lot of people on here just don't grasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:39 PM
–

There is definitely overlap in that Venn Diagram. But I feel like most of the women who are really into the dudes who are that toxic would want to keep their man in jail, where he has less opportunity to step out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:58 PM
–

Con chasers now are mostly into being penpals, having conjugal visits, and being COs. I don't see why that would change, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:44 PM
6

Sometimes I forget that I live in a bit of a bubble IRL, where none of my guy friends really care about n counts, and guys who do and are vocal about it usually get laughed at. NAMALT, but yeah, enough are that they fuck it up for the rest of us people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:57 AM
3

Agreed. I sometimes forget how much I live in a bubble, cause none of my guy friends do that at all, at least not when I'm around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:42 AM
4

100% and I definitely endorse and practice this personally IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:40 AM
20

I wished women would just understand and accept that I'm so awesome and hot that they should all just be giving me money, and want to sleep with me, and do whatever I say, lol. Seriously though, it would be good if women not only accepted that most men have a much harder time finding partners for casual sex, but also that it's actually validating for most of us (in a meaningful way that it isn't for them) who aren't objectively hot, and not just trivial bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:09 PM
2

Because we can barely admit it to ourselves, much less others, who might see it as a weakness.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 07:55 PM
0

Cause we're also mad (at ourselves and our friends and other dudes) that we made dumb decisions for Stacy? 🤷 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:48 PM
2

I have a female friend who is like this. She says she would love to date a dude our age. But the dudes our age are less common, are less interested in a LTR with her, and come with more baggage/dealbreakers. So she ends up with younger guys and is okay with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:01 PM
12

Yes. I actually thought of it as a green flag when women wanted to jump my bones from day one and didn't let society, past experiences, etc. dictate how they expressed those feelings for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 02:38 AM
7

Cooking for someone (or with them or having them cook for you) when you're romantically interested in them is a highly intimate and sensual thing, IMO. It has usually come after sex for me, not before. And yes, I have a third date rule about it that's only been broken three times, the last time with my current wife. If I have a home meal with someone, it's either because they're a really good friend or because I thought there was really serious long term relationship potential that I want to lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:25 PM
1

You might be right here, but there is also the possibility that you're attracting a certain kind of woman. If you start off with a "stoic and unflappable veil" you'll probably attract women who are into that. Meanwhile you're probably filtering out women who actually want men who express their vulnerability. And the women into "stoic and unflappable" will probably be less attracted once they see that other side of you. This type of shit is why being authentic matters if you want a successful LTR…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:15 PM
7

You can absolutely have a much heavier stigma against one genders participation in a sexual act than their counterpart. For instance, the long history of slut shaming promiscuous women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 10:44 PM
5

Part of it is that feelings can be contagious. I'm an extrovert, and when I'm in my element, doing well being social, it usually feels pretty good. A bit of that can rub off on people I meet and talk with, leaving a small a positive impression. When it happens with others like me, there is a bit of a positive feedback loop of 'positive vibes' that can build up. This doesn't help much across a whole relationship, but it definitely helps in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 12:22 AM
2

"Debate" with folks like that is the worst. Total walking examples of Dunning Krueger who don't know how much they don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 06:42 PM
8

That's interesting. And definitely supports my thesis* backed by decades of personal and anecdotal experience**. Alcohol alone can be a helluva drug. Not an actual thesis. *Not a good way to support an actual thesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 12:07 AM
7

What are you saying is faulty logic and the hypothesis that was not adequately proven? That drink watching/covering is a bad idea? I'd agree that those studies don't say that at all. That would probably require building a solid counterfactual, which is definitely not in this study.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 12:02 AM
79

It seems like the takeaway might be more that alcohol alone can be a helluva drug. Blaming it's effects on spiked drinks can give a false sense of security to people who watch their drinks closely all night.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 08:28 PM
2

Think of this mathmatically... Assuming a smaller major league team size US metro of 2.5 million (most common size of national tour stops) , about 200,000 of them are women between 18 and 29 (8%), which is the main age demographic for new rap big concert tours. Of them, let's say there are 30k people at a stadium show. 1/3 are women, 10,000. So 1 in 20 of the women of that age went to the show. Of the 10,000 women who either paid or had someone pay for them to go and spend the evening there, app…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 09:11 PM
1

It is definitely low ROI if you're only looking at it as a short term investment that only pays off by finding a romantic partner. If you look at it as a long term investment that enhances your quality of life in many ways, some of which can help your chances of finding a romantic partner, that's a whole other ballgame.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 12:43 AM
3

You see a hot chick on Instagram and you assume she’s Gloria Steinham You mean thirst traps aren't CIA?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 02:17 PM
1

Overweight for sure. In the years after quitting, I ended up with an involuntary nauseous reaction to cigarette smoke. That wouldn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:28 PM
5

When you trust someone, they lie, and that lie has a negative financial impact on you, it's generally considered a criminal offense, and the liar is generally required to repay you in full. Why should paternity fraud be any different?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 10:52 PM
1

One and two aren't contradictory. On average, women are less up for having sex with random dudes than vice versa. And what gets them there is often different than what gets dudes there. One person can be just as into having sex as someone else but not as up for certain types of sex. Shaming women for having casual sex makes many of them more hesitant to have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:59 AM
5

Ranked from most to least preferred, with caveats for the bottom 3. Susan - Sure. We both get 30-60 min of cardio almost every day, enough to stay healthy. I can't fault the moodiness and high strung, because I'm similar, honestly. And she could just go and play videogames/watch anime and I could do my thing when one or both of us are in a foul mood. Mary - Maybe... if her flavor of religious is liberation theology and low libido means more like 3-4x/mo, not 3-4x/yr. Jessica - Maybe... if her ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 01:34 AM
4

Showing PDA and love/desire are two different things. Our social media accounts are projections of what we want people to see about us. Not our full messy lives. NRE is a thing. Almost no one stays like that for the long haul. This might just be her trying to make her ex jealous. Or a rebound where she is trying to convince herself and others that she isn't depressed AF about her relationship ending. We don't know. I'm a straight dude, but I have eyes. Joseph Gordon Levitt is a damn fine looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 05:52 PM
1

It may have gotten worse in the last decade or so since I went off the market, but man, it got way better for me and most dudes I knew between 1993 and 2013.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:04 PM
4

Being unapologetically authentic is usually a more successful strategy than trying to look and act like someone else for others. At least when it comes to finding a partner in the long run. Even if who you are turns off 98% of people, you're gonna eventually bump into someone in that 2% who digs it, and your competition will be scant. But if you're cosplaying a normie, chances are you can't do it nearly as well as all the normies out there. So you still have little chance with the 98%. Everyone …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:09 PM
4

Cougars have been a thing. So have older dudes who get with younger women. If more older women are doing it now, more power to them. More gender symmetry in age asymmetric relationships should be a good thing, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 11:18 PM
2

Holdup holdup holdup... 38 YO women who love getting oral and slapping their partners are into betas? I would've spent my single years going full beta, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:33 PM
2

Because the apps let you basically quiet quit, and quiet quitting is hot now?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 07:23 PM
1

Pretty much any pursuit will have an upper bound. Self improvement is no different. However, there are always more pursuits. You could dedicate ten lifetimes to self improvement and you would still only scratch the surface of all the paths and possibilites available.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 05:24 AM
1

Also, the stats tab from the calculator that OP uses admits to some of the issues I pointed to as well. "While the calculator gets a close estimate to the total number of female U.S. citizens that meet the criteria of the search, the calculator doesn't include non-citizens and there are slight variances in correlations between specific characteristics that the calculator generalizes for all women."
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 09:49 PM
1

When OP calculated the “rarity” of the women they divided the population of the specific group (thin, childless, and single) by the population of single women in the US. I guarantee you OPs numbers are wrong then. Link to Statista on these numbers because they have better premade data visualizations than the Census, but use their data. OPs 22% stat appears to come from general pop 18-25 based on clicking through their link and changing the factors around. OP says that the 3% stat is based on all…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 09:39 PM
3

The way OP stated it, anywhere that had an increase in hetero marriage (or partnership) would pretty much directly increase the need for single hetero people to drop their standards to find a partner, without compounding factors. For example, in OPs frame, if 99% of a population are partnered (and monogamous and faithful and hetero), any single person would be competing for the "top 1%" of partners. And this is without any other criteria than their partner being single. They aren't recognizing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 08:48 PM
2

It depends on the type of glow up. If it's the "you getting your shit together" type, or frankly any significant lifestyle change, I have no problems with that. Quitting hard drugs, religious conversion, maturing a lot, etc. are valid (and not superficial) reasons to being open to dating a friend who you wouldn't date before.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 07:21 PM
0

Yes, that is correct. Swap single and unmarried in my last comment and it still holds.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 06:37 PM
7

Conservative Islamic sects tend to be more open to allowing divorce than conservative Christian ones, right? Just like how conservative Christian sects tend to be more open some alcohol drinking than conservative Islamic ones. Could that be part of why the numbers are like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 06:29 PM
4

The issue is how they "frame" the dating market set up. It reads like this: Of adult (or 18-25yo) women, only a% are single, not overweight, and have no kids. But IMO, it's more realistic to set the "frame" up like this: Of adult (or 18-25yo) single women, only b% have no kids and aren't overweight. It would take a minute to write out more clearly why I see frame A being way more reflective of reality. If you're not seeing/agreeing, I can break it down later, just let me know.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 06:07 PM
36

I get your point and don't disagree with the sentiment, but there are a couple of issues with the way you ran the numbers that got you there. You are looking at a percentage of women of all relationship statuses, not just those who are single or in an open relationship. This is extra important because women in monogamous relationships are more likely to have kids. This is compounded by childbirth and raising kids often resulting in weight gain. I'm guessing this means that women with kids are mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 04:42 AM
24

The best people for dating advice are those who are self aware, socially observant, and have a high EQ. The second best are people who seem very similar to you, yet are much more successful than you at dating. In any case, someone who knows you and wants to help you is pretty much required.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 09:14 PM
2

why don’t men form communities where they can be around other men and support each other Three letters: A T F 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 12:44 AM
34

It always seemed like projection of their own fear and grief around being old, single, and lonely. I have enough idea if that's it though, just an impression I got. *Edit: not "enough", I meant ,"no"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:46 PM
1

Getting hobbies can be great for dating. But it's often not great for dating the people in your hobby social circle. It's often great because those people introduce you to their friends from other social circles. In this example, just be friends with the cute woman you work with, and don't thirst over her. Maybe one day she introduces you to one of her cute friends, who may or may not have the same love for motorsports as you. Or you go to her housewarming party and her boyfriends sister wants y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 08:41 PM
9

IDK if this counts* but a while ago, someone posted some Tinder metrics. It was surprising to see how difficult it really is for most guys to be "successful" on apps in stark numbers. After that, I dug a bit more on the topic with a more critical eye. My opinion went from from "apps are meh with net negative social utility" to "Jesus it sucks for single dudes, something needs to change" fairly quickly. *I don't ID as blue pill, but some people here would say I am, depending on their definition o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 01:29 PM
1

Fewer than it seems to us men. And same for women. Mostly because we overall disproportionately hook up with more promiscuous people. That's not a commentary either, it's just straight up math.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:24 AM
1

short + overweight + with protruding bellies + balding hairlines + very asymmetrical features i.e. blunt noses, small eyes, splotchy skin, etc. I'm literally all these things* and more, lol. Don't tell my wife. *Except for maybe the "very" in very asymmetrical features
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 10:51 PM
2

Way to miss the point. Legal process has been set up that limits redistribution of content. And enforcement has greatly marginalized redistribution. You are correct that it's being done under a different section of law than RP. It still happens. Sure, expand piracy laws this way instead if it makes you happy. IMO, the default should be that creatives, performers, etc. lease their image/likeness for a period of time w/o redistribution rights. And that go for everyone, not just porn stars and camm…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:00 PM
–

I've been in FWB situations where I wanted to lock it down but she didn't. It's not the norm but it's hardly a unicorn.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:51 AM
–

When two people are friends but one of them wants it to be sexual, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "friendzone". When two people are having sex but one of them wants a relationship, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "fuckzone". Men are more likely to be "friendzoned" and women are more likely to be "fuckzoned" but neither is exclusive to one gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:47 AM
9

IDK if any of these are really unpopular, but it seems like they would be here. The vast majority of good dating advice doesn't need to be gendered. But it does tend to make the advice more heard. What works for getting laid and what works for a happy LTR are often different and even contradictory. Pick a lane. Generally our looks deteriorate as we get older, it's a depreciating asset. Increasing effort in your appearance also has diminishing returns. Going significantly beyond general standards…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 10:28 PM
10

Agreed. It's pretty similar to how the slur "bitch" means something different if it's a man or a woman being called it. But both essentially mean a person who is stepping outside of their gender roles in their degree of aggressiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 07:28 PM
6

You're welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 06:16 PM
8

Maybe they wanted to add a data point to support my rant? Lololol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 06:16 PM
15

TL;DR - Discussing the implications of legit social science research (and related quant metrics) to sex and relationships can be cool when people really understand it. But the Dunning Krueger effect is really big in here, so I'm like 🧐🫣😬🤦🏻‍♂️🫠😶‍🌫️ they just want to find an answer that is simple and digestible that will tell them how to be successful in life. But statistics aren't and never will be some kind of map to life I use statistical analysis every day at work to advise strategic decision …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:22 PM
4

Streaming services and media companies already do something very similar to this with TOS and anti piracy laws around non pornographic digital content. The main difference here is the shift in power from content platforms to content creators.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:32 AM
1

That makes it easier to get away with posting RP, but it's also easier because if reported on and caught, site owners and admins can feign ignorance, then take it down with little to no repercussion. But if a contract is required, ignorance isn't an excuse. And if there are real penalties, the risk makes it less worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 07:42 PM
5

Illegal upload penalties and enforcement barely exist. OTOH, CP barely exists online outside of the dark web, right? Largely because there are real penalties and real enforcement of the laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 06:38 PM
9

We could expand revenge porn laws, and make it illegal to distribute pornography unless the people in it (or people depicted in it) have signed a written contract allowing for distribution. Contracts would be required to have degrees of redistribution and an end date for distribution (maybe a max of 5 years) to make it illegal for it to just be out there/everywhere. People could still post and send their own images to others with implied consent both ways and no written contract. Couples/groups …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 03:40 PM
2

spray and pray is still the most effective Sounds like new marketing for church based family planning methods, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 02:44 AM
7

Wait, what?! Why are women supposed to be okay with being "emotional tampons" in relationships? (Meant for OP)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 02:39 AM
13

Wait, what? Why are women supposed to be okay with being "emotional tampons" in relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 02:39 AM
0

I live in Pgh and saw an eight person brawl break out over this a couple of weeks ago. Of course that was at a bar right off Carson, our version of South Street.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 11:29 PM
10

In my experience, it was a highly age dependent thing. There was a rush for some women to get married by their mid 20s. Then there was another rush for other women to get married by their mid 30s. Most of the single and divorced women I know who are in their late 30s or older aren't particularly looking to get married though. Especially the ones who are more attractive, have solid careers, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:39 PM
0

I have a master's in public policy and data analytics from Heinz, and a few years of experience at the crossroads of data analysis and social science. I think that qualifies me as having relevant background in statistics. If not, I'm not sure what does. I'm interested in your stances here. Tell me more.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 09:39 AM
2

Shit, you don't even have to reject some women for them to act like that. When I was in HS, I was hanging out with a girl I liked one afternoon. I went in to kiss her and she said no. I respected it and didn't try again that afternoon, we just hung out and talked. The next day, I find out she was calling me homophobic slurs behind my back to any mutual who would listen. Why? Because I didn't push or try again that day after she said no.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:37 AM
9

Some people get traumatized, don't deal with it, carry it into their next relationships, put up walls and other shitty coping mechanisms, and end up traumatizing their new partners. Maybe working on breaking that cycle would be better than perpetuating it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 03:45 AM
2

I too can make lazy replies. victim complex, etc etc, self fulfilling prophesy, etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 08:43 AM
3

courts really work and that you’re having a lack of political inprisoners, and actually can vote. YMMV Courts working often depends on your financial ability to hire a good lawyer, not getting a low level judge or magistrate (in my state, magistrates don't need any formal legal education) that is incompetent or corrupt or otherwise compromised, and don't have any expectations for quasi-legal proceedings involving business, labor, or the environment. Google "kids for cash" for a nasty example in …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:46 AM
2

Thanks! I'm putting the Miller book in my queue. And in retrospect, adding "significant" to my original statement would have been more accurate, that's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:34 AM
1

I don't doubt that most people have had trauma. 99% percent of people have significant unresolved trauma though? FWIW, one of my undergrad majors was neuro. The Body Keeps The Score was a bit lacking and off to me. Is "What Happened To You" significantly more in depth and on point?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:25 AM
1

It's common for sure, but no way is it that high.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 11:43 PM
6

Most people who find dating easy end up out of the dating pool relatively quickly. For many, it's not that they aren't trying hard enough, it's that they aren't making changes to themselves and their approach that would make dating easier. And that's not just about self improvement. I think it's less about compromising on your standards per se, an more about critically examining, challenging, and updating the standards you do have. Date for fun and compatibility and look for people who are doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 11:05 PM
1

Back when I was single and got put in lineups, I'd always do my best. But seriously, as long as no ones being manipulated or getting hurt, more power to em.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:04 PM
1

N nnmnn
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 05:59 PM
5

That's definitely true, though dating will definitely up your odds, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 01:31 AM
71

I can make this advice simpler and more accurate: dating people with unresolved trauma is likely to end in you having trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 11:57 PM
1

You would need to give an alternative to porn. And theres none. [Porn is] the better and more stimulating alternative Which is it? Do you believe there no alternative to porn or do you just believe it is the best aid for masturbation?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 03:36 PM
1

It's not about how severe the punishment there is, it's about consistency, certainty, and general consensus.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 04:03 AM
3

All your points seem to conflate masturbation and porn. Smut, sex toys, non-pornographic imagery, good old fashioned imagination, and more all exist to help you get there. Regardless of whether or not porn is problematic, your logic model is flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 03:18 AM
0

It's all wrapped up in the whole pursuer/pursued gender dynamic bs. I learned that like 20 years ago, but a lot of people (more commonly guys) see sex as a form of validation and acceptance. That said, someone agreeing to more than one date (or having sex more than once) is not acceptance. It's not a committed relationship. It's just not direct rejection. There are plenty of people of all genders who string along those who are interested while not really committing or accepting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:48 AM
1

when I moved to a city from a shithole country town people certainly let me know I was poor and not middle class. It's not just a city/country thing. When I went from my public city school to my liberal arts undergrad, it was obvious most kids there grew up with a lot more than me. They didn't have to say a damn thing, though many did. Almost always behind my back though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 01:49 AM
3

Because for some guys, early dating is costly, stressful, and requires a lot of mental and emotional energy. For them, it's not about having fun and seeing if they are compatible, it's about doing everything they can to win over the woman so she likes him and doesn't reject him. They see sex as the confirmation she likes him and accepts him, so everything before that is difficult AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 01:24 AM
2

There is a lack of a culture of solid feedback systems and accountability mechanisms in dating and relationships in most of our societies. If it was easy for people to know what "work" they should be doing, and consequences for bad behavior were reliably imposed, things would be a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 12:09 AM
2

If you're into fitness, climbing walls, critical mass rides, hashing, casual sport leagues, and group fitness classes (like HIIT, CrossFit, etc) amd more all have mixed gender social groups spring out of them. If you had a bit more spare time, I'd suggest getting into wrestling. Not like HS/Olympic, but like the amateur WWE ones. It could be a bridge for your hobbies that would really put you out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 11:32 PM
2

Nothing is foolproof, but asking questions can go a long way. Unfortunately, plenty of people aren't honest or aware enough about themselves, and anyone who is but isn't safe will lie. Asking directly gets you nowhere, so you have to be indirect. "Vulnerable" has a positive connotation (at least in most of the US), so ask using similar words with negative connotations. Talk about weak men, find out what behavior they find weak and gives them the ick. Talk about covert narcs and trauma dumpers an…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 08:13 PM
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This is not the early 2000's. Times are different. Most young men are inside gaming. Most young women are hanging out together or at home on social media. And how is all that working your for your generation?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 11:04 AM
1

AFBB?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:03 AM
1

For sure, doctors should have realized that all opioids have significant potential for abuse. That said, many doctors weren't prescribing more opioids than before. They just shifted over to prescribing Oxycontin (instead of morphine, fentanyl, etc.) because of the faulty clinicals that said Oxycontin was the safest painkiller option for long term pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 05:27 PM
1

American doctors had a huge role, though to be fair, they were misled by efforts of the Sackler family (who owned Purdue Pharma, who held the IP for Oxycontin) for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 03:06 PM
5

Food AND shelter AND running water... in this economy?! Okay Rockefeller.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 05:55 PM
1

Nice dodge. Does that mean you agree that your logic is faulty then?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 07:23 AM
5

Most domestic violence victims are attacked by their long term partner, not casual hook ups. If you were being logical, your beef would be with jumping into relationships, not promiscuity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 05:45 AM
0

I believe most men under 30 have options, or at least prospective options that could lead to sex within a couple of months. My wild ass guess is that it's probably around 3/4. That said, the question misses a lot. The biggest is that for most guys, this is irrelevant. You either have your person (and they have you) or you don't. If you're in a relationship and aren't happy with your options, you don't have your person. If you aren't able and willing to be alone until you find your person, you ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:01 PM
2

True. It really doesn't take any math, and the math is pretty simple. It just takes realizing just realizing that all women (or men) aren't all the same, and accepting that you aren't the center of the universe, lol. I guess that can be difficult for some people. Here is an example: You have casual sex with someone, and then find out that they have a twin. One twin has had sex with 10 people and the other one has had sex with 90 people, but you don't know which one you slept with. Some people th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 06:48 PM
3

Thank you. Either tons of people just don't have solid grip on probability theory or they just never apply it to things like this. Whenever there is a discrete distribution based on frequency or popularity, any single instance is disproportionately likely to occur in a higher frequency or more popular outcome. In this case, it means if you have casual sex with a random person, odds are that the person you have random casual sex with, they will have had more casual sex than the average person who…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 05:07 PM
1

More important for what? Both traits and their effects are relative, in multiple ways. And plenty of women don't give a damn about either, regardless of how much or what type a guy has. That said, in my experience and opinion, each can make a huge difference to some women, though in different ways. Gold diggers usually aren't trying to have one night stands and groupies usually aren't trying to get married. TL;DR Status to bed, money to wed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 01:03 AM
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Uhhh, I've never felt contempt and hate towards a woman when the post nut-clarity hit. Why do so many people on this sub frame their personal experiences as something universal for their gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 01:31 AM
3

Agreed on all points.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 09:26 PM
3

I've seen it a few times as well. What you mean by it being a nice reversal?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:01 PM
6

From my end, it feels like I'm stuck as a constant therapist, frequently a punching bag, always have to be available, pay for the majority of expenses, have to be the mellow one, and try making myself a sex god basically. You said that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:06 PM
10

There is a stereotypical gender dynamic in many relationships where the woman does the vast majority of the unpaid work (and now often much of the paid work) and make all the sacrifices. Meanwhile the man does little to meet them half way. The woman tries to express how she feels about this and get a resolution, but the guy doesn't listen and adjust. Instead, the guy manipulates her into accepting the dynamic, and even taking on more. Then, at some point, the woman has had enough, and walks away…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:33 PM
2

Thanks! Glad someone caught it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:19 PM
2

Two families?! In this economy?!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 01:56 AM
2

Inconceivable!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 01:54 AM
3

Yup. Meat markets vs Parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 12:04 AM
3

Out of curiosity, are there "lanes" like this where you live?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 12:00 AM
9

You're welcome! I've seen variations of this thread where different people give contradictory answers because they only really know their type of club, not the other one. Neither is wrong, it's just an incomplete picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 11:59 PM
2

Ahhh. I never really put much energy into interacting with the Top 40 type crowd where most of the Stacies and Chads can be found. In my experience, truly amazing beautiful people of all genders tend to be graceful. It's mostly insecure folks and people who haven't dealt with their trauma who are into being meaner. I could see most Stacies falling into the latter category.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 11:18 PM
3

Thanks! People sometimes do shitty things, can't say I never did. Especially in the teenage years, lol. Can't change the past, so the next best thing is to heal today to fight for a better tomorrow. Especially for those who get dealt a shit hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 10:59 PM
2

I'm curious why you were curious about her looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 08:42 PM
63

In the US, there are (at least) two lanes for clubs and club nights. One is more pop/mass appeal around familiar songs/tracks and the possibility of meeting people to hook up with, that night or some other night. We used to call these meat markets. Another is more niche/subcultural appeal focused on the DJs unique choices of music and a community of regulars. We used to call these parties. They tend to have very different crowds, business models, aesthetics, vibes, rules, and even venues. If you…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 08:41 PM
6

This was almost 30 years ago, but I thought she was just slightly above average at the time. I feel like the rejection might have stung less if I thought she was insanely hot. But more importantly, it would have stung way less if my "friends" would have supported me instead of laughing at at me when they saw me get rejected. I walked away from that day thinking that I should be grateful if any woman showed interest in me and should jump at the chance to be with them, regardless of my interest, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 07:28 PM
8

The first couple of times I ever walked up to a girl I didn't know to talk to them, I got rejected hard. One looked me up and down with disdain, then said "ew, no" as she turned her back on me. The other laughed, pointed to my friend, and said he was her type, and asked me for his number. I had serious rejection anxiety waaaaaay too long after that. Like about a decade and a half.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 02:17 PM
1

Think of it this way... if someone has decided they don't like you, trying to change their mind is a waste of time and energy. Have you ever met someone who didn't like you, but you got them to change their mind because you tried hard enough? That is rare as hell, because it doesn't normally work like that. On the other hand, I've definitely been out, just having a great time with friends, and not even thinking about trying to hook up. And a woman just ends up around me and I can tell they are f…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 05:31 AM
1

Agreed. The reason so many people say just let it happen is because it is truth to them, because it's how they experienced it. But also, because people have a narrow definition of trying. The more accurate way to word it would be "Stop trying to get a person you like to like you back. It's almost impossible and actually worse than doing nothing." To what you said, getting people to notice you at your best is primarily about context/placement, you should have wing people who can let you know when…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 05:09 PM
0

In my experience, there is a grain of truth to what they say, but it's misworded and misunderstood. Simply put, you don't catch fish by seeing one you want and then swimming after it. So don't waste time, energy and ego by trying to make a women you are attracted to become attracted to you. It doesn't work like that. Instead, set yourself so women are more likely to be noticing you at your best, you noticing when there might be a spark of Fmutual attraction, and you being ready to act on that sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:00 AM
0

Yeah, those aren't fully open, candid, and unfiltered answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:01 AM
3

Almost every time I wouldn't commit or take a relationship to the next level, it was the same reason. They had a red flag or incompatibility that wasn't enough to walk away. I thought the issue could be resolved, but wasn't willing to take the next step until it was. Example: She wanted us to move in together, but had credit card debt that wasn't going down and overdue bills she wasn't opening. For the record, we made about the same and I was saving money.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:59 AM
2

Oh, I know. I was joking by riffing off the "In a fight, right?" meme.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:17 AM
2

we could take the bear. You mean in a fight, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:13 AM
1

That said, if we aren't joking or hacking the question, "What were the biggest mistakes you've made in dating, love, relationships, romance, etc.?" Or "what did you learn from the biggest mistakes... " There are moments in our lives that, along with how we process and react or respond to them, are significant in defining how we interact with others. And we are generally way more open about our successes than our failures. It is a huge red flag green flag shortcut, as well as a big leap in inferr…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:07 AM
2

But seriously, "What is your candid, open, and unfiltered answer or take on what we just discussed?" Or "How are you being less than fully open, candid, and honest with me right now?" Or "what do you really think/feel about that?" Any meta question along those lines would get you pretty much all the honest answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:58 PM
4

"What's the login information for your online financial accounts?" GET THAT MONEY LADIES!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:56 PM
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Women like this existed in the 90s, Truth. Exhibit A: Lyrics from the Young MC hit Bust A Move (yeah, technically it released in 1989, but was played heavily through 1990) Girls are fakin', goodness sakin' They want a man who brings home the bacon Got no money and you got no car Then you got no woman and there you are Some girls are sophistic, materialistic Looking for a man makes them opportunistic They're lyin' on the beach perpetratin' a tan So that a brother with money can be their man
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 04:56 PM
2

Dating casually? Definitely, I find brilliant women incredibly sexy. Dating seriously? Possibly, but there is often a significant hurdle that comes with a significant intelligence gap between partners. That's especially true if it's an all around gap, and not limited to one or two types of intelligence. Particularly bright folks often have different ways of seeing, processing, and interacting with the world*. When interacting with normal people, they often have to choose between "masking" and cr…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 11:11 AM
-1

Most compliments are trash. Try giving genuine, pointed compliments based on choices people make without expectation beyond them feeling good. Example: "Wow, you're beautiful" - trash "Nice lowkey Corelle patterns through your sleeve work. The Woodlands especially pops." - not trash
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 03:07 AM
1

it's a mutual agreement Every successful long term partnership has give and take. If she is willing to compromise and sacrifice for us (with the knowledge that I'm willing to as well) it can work. you would also accept she can leave anytime if she finds someone better. This is a deal breaker. Deal hopping is transactional behavior that has an unstable foundation. I don't treat deep relationships transactionally, and I don't treat transactional relationships as though they are deep. This is true …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:08 PM
1

It depends on what you mean by this: prioritizes herself and expects mutual understanding and inclusion in every decision? Does it mean that she generally takes care of her own well being before offering to help me with mine, and we talk out big decisions together? Cool, wouldn't have it any other way. Does it mean she is so selfish she wouldn't sacrifice an inch so I could have a mile? Does it mean she is so controlling I would lose basic freedoms and self autonomy like picking out what T-shirt…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 04:52 PM
5

Agreed. There was a period of my life where I was a catch on paper, but really just didn't have my shit together. It was wild how many women were down to hook up and establish a FWB situation with absolutely zero interest in taking it any further. It was also wild how old that got after a while. Even wilder, there were a fair number of people around me who went through a similar phase, but I could never really understand it until it happened to me. Hooking up seems like a big thing until you do …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 12:04 PM
3

I never really "got" why so many guys dig younger women. The saying about good women aging like fine wine might be a bit cringey, but I always thought there was some truth behind it. You just broke it down better than I've ever been able to myself. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 11:31 AM
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Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 07:08 PM
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I hear you and agree with your overall point. That said, this (and how people calculate similar % for men) drives the stats nerd in me mad. It doesn't work like that when the variables are correlated, and they are correlated. Women without kids are less likely be overweight. Tall dudes are more likely to have higher incomes. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. In any case, folks with unrealistic expectations seem to be more likely to be single and unhappy about it. If only there was somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 06:54 PM
4

This seems like a positive for everyone. More guys talking through their shit, feeling validated/heard, etc. while women aren't getting burnt out from helping out those guys. So more women are now less burnt out from all that emotional support/validating and more men aren't as thirsty/needy for emotional support/validation. Seems like a boon for all folks looking for love. What exactly is the downside for anyone supposed to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 06:35 AM
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If OOPGF was writing that to us directly and anonymously I'd believe it. Reliable narration in these is one thing. 100% honesty from the partner of the narrator is another. Especially since she had to be badgered to disclose info on this to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:56 PM
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True. And personally, I'd also much rather be the mid looking guy who could guarantee amazing sex than an amazing looking guy who only doled out mid sex. Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know a lot of people (usually women) who say that their SO is the most beautiful/handsome person, but they didn't see them that way at first. Both are flexible to some extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:50 PM
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It doesn't matter when she shared it. Assuming OOP isn't an unreliable narrator (and we generally have to assume that way on posts like this unless something suggests otherwise), we have pretty good confirmation that she confirmed with OOP that she had better sex with other people. Saying it clearly didn't bother her is a wild assumption. People get married to people who have traits that bother them all the time. And they often don't bring it up, because many people suck at communication. I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:42 PM
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This brings up an interesting question. Would you rather hear that your partner had better sex with other people before you, or hear they had sex with better looking people before you? Conversely, would you care more if they said you were the most beautiful person they have ever slept with or the best sex they ever had was with you? I might make a separate post/poll about this, because I have a theory and I'm wondering if it's correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:34 PM
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It's wrong that OOP was mad that his partner shared something hurtful about their intimacy with kthers but didn't even bother talking to him about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:11 PM
1

It could be both. Folks who I know who have taken T have said that it jumped their libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 03:10 AM
1

I think you're onto something here. What if it happened when people hit a certain age? Like when you turned 19 or 22 it was your "swap year" that year. Or if it just happened around a certain time of life with some variation, like puberty does?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 02:29 PM
2

I prefer women with similar views, but differing views isn't a deal breaker. That said, there are a couple of exceptions, ones that politics usually expose. Fundamentalists. I'm not religious, so we are incompatible. Bigots. I'm entirely turned off by them. People with strong uninformed opinions. I just lose respect at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:35 PM
-1

I'm a 5'5 married obese* bald guy with glasses and an overbite. I still get hit on a decent amount when I go out. I sdid alright back when I was single as well. Style, charisma, presence, personality, with, etc. really do matter, it's just that most guys really don't have it. *By BMI standards
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 01:27 AM
3

I did. But I was in my 30s when I met my wife, and I also realize we are both far from the norm, in many ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:07 AM
1

if I was single, I'd probably keep going till I fell in love. Also, I'm kind of surprised that no one talked about possibly building a polycule.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/24 11:21 PM
2

I get that, and it's definitely the most common situation. That said, occasionally, the Uber really is waiting outside, or you all need to carry Megan to the bathroom, or any other number of things where the interaction needs to end ASAP, even if you're vibing with the guy. And women aren't always perfect, occasionally they go with their friend and regret not shooting their shot or talking more with the guy. All the guy sees is a friend come up and say they gotta go now. Plenty of guys will gues…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:06 PM
1

I think there is a legitimate question for the women hidden in this post. Women, if you're out talking to a guy and your friend comes to save you (and for whatever reason you let her), what could the guy do that you would appreciate regardless of your interest/feelings about him?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:14 PM
6

I'd be wary of anyone who has played and dismissed Disco Elysium without a good reason. There are legitimate criticisms, but to dismiss the whole thing offhand? I'd be on high alert to check for that person's emotional maturity levels, TBH. The gendered dismissal is a huge red flag in it's own right, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 11:06 PM
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