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Any-Div-6055 Archive

View 2 posts and 32 comments by Any-Div-6055 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Any-Div-6055/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 05:47 PM
4

Any-Div-6055/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

If you get any group together long enough, they silo and form an echo chamber. This is how you get Kindergarten teachers who are overworked grading papers. In reality, the school parking lot is completely empty at 2:10pm.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 08:42 PM
3

You don't mention your age. There's a saying, divorce over 50 is financial suicide. I personally believe mending relationships is easier than mending financial security. But not everyone shares this view. My ex-wife certainly doesn't. My only advice is to make sure you really understand what divorce does in terms of spousal support, child support, and retirement. My ex and I saw a few counselors looking for one that we both liked. We levitated towards whoever supported our different perspectives…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:37 PM
11

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear that. The best possible thing you can do is gray rock and prepare. Do a few lawyer consults. Keep busy with other things. Don't react. Don't be emotional. And don't date (it'll be a disaster). Definitely don't revenge date. Find someone who is pragmatic for support. You want the person to absorb your emotions and spit back practical stuff you should be doing. Find a therapist. Find an exercise bike. Exercise is by far the best possible way to regulate emotions. Don't b…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 07:14 PM
2

You left out too many details. The big two are (a) the pension(s) and (b) the housing details. Housing is all over the place these days. If you're in a hot market, it's a piggy bank. I mean, where I live, a lot of relatively mediocre career people have become millionaires just by buying at the right time. If you're in a slow market and it's an older house, renting could very well be cheaper depending on how well you plan for retirement and how much home maintenance costs. Setting her up with a 3…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 03:23 PM
5

Be careful what you take to heart. It's not uncommon to laundry list if the real reasons don't make sense. Try to let everything go as heat-of-the-moment stuff. Stupid things will probably be said on both sides. I hope it works out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:31 PM
5

Depression sucks. It's a shame that she can't find effective treatment. But if it's divorce, it's divorce. My ex moved out in a huff. She assembled the man hating women's drinking club. She was absolutely certain with a lot of screaming and vitriol. But then she stalled. I filed a month later as I wanted it documented and I wanted the standard restraining orders in place. I had to step walk her through the process like a marionette. It was painful and costly. My ex and I almost went to trial two…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 04:18 PM
4

Cursed artifact. Best thrown into a volcano.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:10 AM
5

Sounds like you're still angry about it. Which, I don't blame you. But you still don't want to make emotional decisions. There's obviously something bigger going on. If she's just that controlling, it's not good. Still, therapy should always be exhausted. Divorce is incredibly difficult. But only you and she know what else is going on and its severity. If you do file, make sure you really understand the fallout financially, emotionally, and even though you didn't mention any kids, child support …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 02:28 AM
6

All bets are off after 30, though. The tables are definitely flipped. Yeah, it's not the prettiest perspective. Still it's probably true. ... Most women in their 20s marry to get a house. And most women in their 50s kept the house after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 08:48 PM
3

Wrong? No. Not in the least. But I would imagine her days of confiding are over. Why did your wife get the subpoena? Why not go straight to the court records?
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:07 AM
4

(Check with your lawyer for accuracy). So it seems on average you get about two years to hammer through an agreement yourselves. Then it most likely goes to mandatory settlement conference, and if that fails, to trial. You do not want a trial. The courts are minimally involved except to make a decision on temporary spousal support and alimony, address any emergency items, and check in every once in a while to see how things are going. If you guys are stuck, the judge may make a decision to push …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 03:13 PM
3

My younger son came to live with me. He was 16 when my ex and I separated. He and I have a really good relationship. He's 21 now, in college, still living with me, and set to graduate with honors. I've been paying 90% of his living expenses and college tuition. He works part-time in food retail by choice making dating money and contributing a bit to his own gas. His mom is out there blowing all my net worth on stupid stuff. She'll burn through the money in a few years. She throws $50 at him once…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 03:49 PM
3

Depression drove me. It has power. I changed a lot of habits. Most were really bad habits formed together in marriage. I just couldn't continue living that way. The trick is to do something at your lowest. Don't try to be radical. Try to do small things and feel good about them. Do the dishes. If you have a sink full, do them all. Then start making it a habit of rinsing/cleaning as you go. I drink coffee, rinse the mug immediately, and put it in the dishwasher. Things will start falling in place…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:52 PM
3

Try to look forward. As much as it stings to hear, the relationship is in the past. You can pay tribute by recognizing your faults and following through with self-improvement. It sounds like you've been making really good progress. And yeah, it gets better. Beat yourself up if it helps. But once penance has been paid, there's nothing wrong with letting go.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:42 PM
4

I wonder about this daily too. Twenty years ago, I was looking for the love of my life. And I gave my ex wife 100% of my trust upfront. Lessons learned. My 20-year-later instincts are to build trust over time. Girls don't always like it. I just broke up with a girl actually. We had dated for a few months. I liked her. But she cranked up demands pretty fast and was talking 10+ years into the future. Red flag. I slowed down. She sped up. And that was that. I figure the right person will be of the …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 03:00 AM
2

I ruminated a lot. I couldn't really escape it. It might help to focus on why it didn't work. Look for supporting evidence. She probably did a lot of things wrong. Focus on these and realize you can't fix her issues. You probably did a lot of things wrong. There's a lot of healing in fixing these things (for you, not her).
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 01:59 AM
1

I found my first lawyer by trying to make heads or tails of internet research. He was a dud. I found my second lawyer through online dating. Sounds bizarre. Is bizarre. I was one year into the divorce. Start asking in communities that have a high divorce rates. You could try local support groups (church and coffee thing), meetup, or even online dating.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 07:25 PM
3

Look for an equal. It's the only way.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 07:54 PM
4

For me, it was addressing the things I self-nagged about. In the end, I had to live with myself. And I should be my only judge. So, why not listen to self criticism and address it? I guess a narcissist wouldn't really find many faults. I don't think there are too many honest to god narcissists. But if someone is perfect, but others don't agree, maybe outside opinion does matter after all. Why is my place so messy? We were both messy. I mean, really bad. She moved out. So I faced the mess alone. …
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:53 PM
4

Kids have incredible power in divorce. You're at the mercy of a shitty mom and an underdeveloped mind my friend. It's a manipulation triangle. It takes two incredibly mature parents to see what's happening, realize the harm it causes to kids, and put in a structured environment that provides solid values. Otherwise, the kid will never do dishes again. The average length of divorce in my area is about 18 months. It feels like MAYBE 12 hours of that was productive. At $30,000 for my legal fees, th…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 06:58 PM
1

Welp. Divorce gets kind of crazy. Assume it'll hit an 11. The mod already posted an old thread. I'll add a few items I didn't see there. First, your phone is probably a key into many dozens or hundreds of systems. Make sure you control the number and the account. If you lose 2FA/MFA, you're screwed. Ask me how I know. Open a Google Drive account specifically for the divorce. This is now your operations center. Everything goes here. You'll likely need all of the following in the next year: her SS…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:24 PM
14

Sounds familiar. It's been about a year and a half since my divorce. Most predicted she'd burn through the money within five years. She'll be lucky if it lasts that long. Her burn rate is crazy. It's all gratuitous stuff. The city had a small flood not too long ago. This happens on a ten year cycle. She had twenty routes to work one of which went through two feet of water. She bought a mammoth four wheel drive true truck-framed SUV just in case. Something tells me she'll fall back on social prog…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 04:37 PM
1

I divorced a year and a half ago. I'm having trouble with new relationships. Do you know what rally caps are? You'd have to be a baseball fan to get it. It's silly to some. But it's very important to others. Don't mess with my rally cap. Do not tell me it's silly. Do not try to take it off my head. Let it be. So my rally cap represents how I am approaching my divorce. My life is messed up. And my rally cap is fixing it. Do not touch the rally cap. As long as it's on my head, I may still win this…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:51 AM
15

No, haven't found happiness. But I have found peace. It's been a combo of things. Got braces. Got braces removed. I smile ear to ear now. Adopted a "clean as I go" philosophy. When I see something that's messy, I take care of it immediately. This is surprisingly powerful. My place just kind of self organized after that. It's all small piddly stuff that takes five minutes here or there but makes a world of difference. Made three trips to the dump with a 14' uhaul. Liberating. Bought a Gardyn. I w…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 07:40 PM
6

My dad was mostly there through the worst of it. I was a bit suicidal actually. But he let go once he thought I could handle it. He did something similar with my first bicycle... He held me up for a few test rides then pushed and released. I went through a box of bandaids. But I had a good 50 ft ride and never fell again. He has a knack of knowing when I'll be okay. And he was right. I could handle it. But it was still a roller coaster. You can augment support, crowd source it even. This sub kep…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:24 AM
3

Congrats! For me, the clouds parted, the sun shone, and the choir sang. Sounds like you had a similar experience.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:08 AM
1

They say "there would be no wars if women were in charge." I'm not so sure this is true. Women can pick fights and wage war just as much as men. There would be no REBUILDING if women were in charge. We wouldn't have Germany and Japan as allies. Those two countries would always be "that asshole" until everyone involved died. I don't understand my own ex's war. It's continued well past the divorce. She's accumulating city miles and deepening wrinkles.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 04:40 PM
1

Thank you for this, good ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 07:54 PM
1

Living arrangements and not much else. I can make it work without marriage tho.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 07:53 PM
1

Thanks for this. Your perspective definitely makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 07:52 PM
3

The thing that bugged me was how many people aligned with her. I think society favors women as the underdog. Or worse, society assumes a woman only leaves because of a horrible horrible life. Men are the villains. Women are the survivors. She claims all of that. She had a horrible life. She is a survivor. I've seen her write "Jenny marches on" on check memos and elsewhere. In reality, during the marriage, she spent like crazy, didn't cook, didn't clean, didn't work. She wouldn't change diapers w…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:59 PM
4

Nah, that's crazy. 90% is way too high unless it includes an alimony buyout or she has pre-marital money in it. Costs are going to be bad. Some of my costs (my side alone): Lost equity: $200k Lost deferred comp: $40k Lawyer fees: $30k RSUs: $50k I hit a cash crunch mid divorce. She moved out. So I was paying for the mortgage alone. My lawyer seemed to magically hit $2000 in fees per month like clockwork. I put it on cards for about six months. My credit rating dropped from 830 to 700. I knew I w…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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