TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Any_Conclusion_4297 Archive

View 2 posts and 231 comments by Any_Conclusion_4297 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Please reread the comment you wrote, because it doesn't even make sense. I've never had a single downside to going unnoticed/being invisible on the street. Like I said, it's bliss compared to what I had to deal with before. There are literally only downsides to being pursued by adults as a child walking down the street. I don't see a single upside to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:34 PM
2

Being a child who is getting pursued by adults only has downsides as well. A woman who gets chsed down the street by randos at night? Also downsides. I've never had a single upside from getting pursued by creepy men. So being invisible as I walk down the street, as the person who you responded to originally was commenting on, is absolutely bliss.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 12:30 PM
2

Considering that I was a child being at times followed home by grown ass men, I think we can agree there's a middle ground. But maybe you don't have the capacity to understand nuance, and that's okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 11:34 AM
1

I literally moved countries to a city where I don't get catcalled. It's bliss. Walking down the street without getting stopped 3 times in 10 mins is bliss. I never knew I could live like this. It's wonderful. I thought that being regularly groped, grabbed, followed in cars, and cussed out when I didn't respond was just life for years until I traveled and realized that I could escape it. I'm so much calmer, and I don't feel like I'm putting armor on just to leave the house.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:39 PM
1

All subsequent outcomes hinge upon a person with a penic choosing where to put their cum. You still keep trying to start the situation at conception. It starts when a person with a penis gives someone access to their cum. And now you're trying to use literal magic to justify it? The jokes write themselves. The fact is that y'all will give over the power you have to achieve sexual pleasure, and you don't want to take responsibility for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 02:06 PM
2

Men on this sub always want to focus on the point of conception without acknowledging the fact that they have full control over where to and where not to leave their cum. No baby batter, no baby. But they hand this power over to women and start crying about how they don't have any power over the situation anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 01:02 PM
–

Oh, the feeling is mutual. Trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 07:33 PM
–

First it was about asking for a level of trust that can't be reciprocated, and now there's nothing I can do about it. I can choose not to stay with someone who asks me to trust that they're not fathering outside children, but doesn't trust that our child is theirs. Don't ask for trust you can't reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 07:32 PM
–

If we ever break up, and another child comes first, it affects the amount of child support that our child will get. It can affect any inheritance that my child may recieve from him as well. It will certainly affect the relationship between the two of us. The reasoning is endless. And you really underestimate how good people are at hiding infidelity when they're motivated to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 07:05 PM
–

I require trust in my relationship. I'm not staying in a relationship that doesn't have it. You may consider that outlandish, so it's a good thing we're not dating. Men who care about this can have the conversation when they have the kids conversation at the start of a relationship. If their partner is on board, they're good. But to spring this on someone who is pregnant or has just given birth is unusually cruel and unnecessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 07:03 PM
–

No, no. It's better for my child that they're raised by a happy mom. I'll be happier single than with a man who doesn't trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 06:39 PM
–

I mean, I trust my partner to not go around having babies with other women. My partner will know if I'm pregnant. I have no way of knowing if he's having kids with other women. If we're gonna go down that rabbit hole, there are many types of trust that can't be reciprocated.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 06:37 PM
3

A little bit of taking care where you put your cum goes a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:47 PM
6

Exactly. You specifically said that it's used on the children.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:43 PM
5

Lol, good luck with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:34 PM
3

Lol, children literally cannot happen without a man ejaculating. So take control of your "choice" and take care where you cum. She shouldn't have to get stuck with pregnancy just because her vagina is where you decided you wanted to put your cum. Be responsible. Do it in a napkin and flush it down the toilet.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:30 PM
6

It's weird, but it does ensure balance. Especially in this case where both people have visibility into how the money is spent and know it's going to the kids. And for the topics talked about on this sub, I actually think it fits right in. Men here are always yelling about "fairness". So make it fair, with a legal mandate. I've seen plenty of relationships where men did not pay their fair share and the woman was handing most of the financial load. I know women who won't put their kid's fathers on…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:26 PM
5

being a false accuser So you admit that it is in fact an accusation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:21 PM
11

I have conversations with people about kids before I have sex with them. Everyone should be doing that. If you're having sex with someone without first having a conversation about what happens in the case of pregnancy, you're being irresponsible. And I'm not gonna have a baby with anyone I'm casually with anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:19 PM
4

It being a choice doesn't make it an advantage. There are plenty of women for whom childbearing is not an advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:05 PM
8

There are asymmetrical advantages everywhere when it comes to children. As women, we literally have to give up our bodies to be a home, and then food for 10 months - 2 years (+/- some months). You're not gonna even anything out when it comes to kids. I said this in another comment, but if this is so important to you, discuss it at the beginning of the relationship when you talk about whether the both of you want children. Stipulate that if you were to have children, you'd want a DNA test. Find a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:43 AM
1

That's his problem, not hers. But he made it hers.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:14 AM
1

She could absolutely lose her job for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:13 AM
4

It is literally binary. There are only two options. That IS logic. You can try to act as though there is another option. And if there is, I'd love to hear it. Edit: typos
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:38 AM
15

I see this an a communication issue. If a paternity test is important to you, have the conversation up front. You know that conversation you're supposed to have about kids early on in a relationship? The one where you talk about whether or not both of you want them? Have the paternity test conversation at that point. If she agrees, then cool, you know that your values are the same and you can move forward. Now, I know that people lie/mislead, but that's a bigger issue for your communication over…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:35 AM
9

So stipulate that at the beginning of the relationship. Tell your potential partner up front that if the relationship were to continue and become serious, and you decided to have children, a paternity test would be compulsory for each child,
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:18 AM
11

This response tickles me because it's what a lot of men here actually want. "If we get a divorce, not alimony, only child support", is something I see regularly. This takes that literally throughout the relationship. Because there are definitely men who contribute more (financially) to their child while on child support than they do when they're still in a relationship with the mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:16 AM
21

Trust issues are not healthy in relationships. I do not date people that I have trust issues with. If I don't feel like I can trust them, I don't date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:11 AM
8

This is a binary. Either, they cheated and the baby is or is not yours, or they didn't cheat and the baby is yours. But the only option for the baby to not be yours is if they cheated. So yes, asking for a DNA test is accusing them of cheating. Because if you believe that they never cheated, then there would be no reason for a DNA test.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:10 AM
26

This is the answer. I wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who didn't trust me to this level. Trust is a requirement for me in romantic relationships. If that bar isn't being met, I don't need to be in the relationship. A guy who asks for a paternity test is not going to have a lack of trust on this one major thing and maintain trust everywhere else. It will seep. And that rabbit hole goes too deep for me to have any interest in dealing with it. I'd much rather be singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:06 AM
1

Yeah, sure. You're the one who described your responsibilities as being over by that time, but okay. My bad for reading what you, yourself wrote. You're damn right I'm not a parent. I know that with the type of parent I aim to be, and the enrichment I want my kids to have access to, I don't have that kind of bandwidth right now. But apparently staying close to my friends who are parents, and having spent literally my entire life around children and their caretakers, because I want to understand …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 05:26 PM
1

Then work with a lawyer to make sure it follows the law. Agree on what alimony might look like, for how long, etc. The law says that a prenup that leaves one partner destitute while the other is financially stable is illegal. In the case of a SAHP, I have to agree. If you don't agree with the terms of marriage, don't get married. But don't get married knowing that you're going to try to screw your partner in the case of divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 01:10 PM
1

The difference lies in how much enrichment you're dedicated to putting into your schikdren. If you're "done" with everything by 10/11 and your next task is dinner, in a pandemic at that, it doesn't sound like there's much enrichment doing on there. Also, my friend's kids are not school aged and I know for a fact that her husband cannot do what she does. Even he knows that. And if she were working full time, she would be bringing in more money than him too. "Sharp minded" people know that enrichi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 11:04 AM
6

feed the kids and tell them to not make a mess And who does the rest of the parenting?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 10:11 PM
2

The alimony thing gets me because you can just sign a prenup. Get a partner who agrees with those terms. If they won't marry you? Well, you have differing views on marriage and maybe that's worth exploring before you commit to it. People should make decisions about marriage while they're still in love, not when they're at each other's throats at the end of it. Edit: Fixed typo
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 09:03 PM
19

Being a stay at home parent is SO hard. I have two friends who are stay at home parents. You become the default parent. Your spouse can come home from work at the end of the day and shut off, but stay at home parenting is 24h a day. Kid's sick for days on end and your partner has to go to work? You're the one cleaning up their vomit and staying up all night making sure they're still breathing. I have a friend who is a SAHM and she will maybe have one glass of wine because she is absolutely terri…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:31 PM
20

They don't like the fact that tradcon wives have rights now. They want it like the old days. Taking issue with no fault divorce? 🚩🚩🚩
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:28 PM
–

This is sad to read. I'm a woman and one of my best friends is a guy and we spend a ton of time together. He helps keep me grounded, and I know that my experience in the city I live in would be duller without him. He means so much to me. However, our feelings towards each other are completely platonic. He has a girlfriend who I get on wonderfully well with, and we were friends for about a year and a half before they even met. If she ever tried to limit our relationship, I'd be devastated. I'm si…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 01:29 PM
9

You underestimate the effort it takes to arrange care for a loved one, even if you're not doing the direct care yourself. My mom only *helped* her brother's wife arrange his end of life care and it destroyed her mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 01:35 PM
2

I've often asked myself the same question as the OP, and this is exactly the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 03:09 PM
0

Your comment assumes that women who are seeking relationships are willing to settle to get into a relationship. But that's not what the data says, you just jumped to that conclusion on your own. I'm a woman who has been single for over a decade, and I'm interested in getting into a relationship, but I will not settle in order to do so. I 100% choose to be single over settling and will continue to do so. I don't settle for anything in my life, definitely not gonna do it for a partner. Of the guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:54 PM
5

I would argue that this is VERY much on topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:24 AM
5

I just had a good laugh reading through all of your responses, thank you! I actually had a friend who developed jaw problems due to giving her husband oral. She enjoyed it, but that doesn't make it easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:55 PM
6

Right.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:51 PM
7

It's wild because one of the former sex workers I know is now an attorney and owns a very successful business and got into sex work when she was running away from her Mormon family. The other got into it because she lost her job and now has a new, better paying job that she actually enjoys. The former enjoyed sex work (porn star) while the latter didn't (cam girl). But neither got into it because they had dreams of being a sex worker or didn't want to work (not that there's anything wrong with h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:43 PM
10

You just described manual labor and then said is "easier to do than labor". Getting penetrated by someone who doesn't care about your pleasure isn't easier than other types of manual labor. And I guarantee you that sucking dick is definitely not easier than say, lifting boxes out of a truck.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:11 PM
4

Every single time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 03:56 PM
15

Lmao, sex work is not "easier than a regular job". The sex workers I know got into it because they desperately needed cash. It's literally manual labor, but the type where you run the risk of having your boundaries violated in the worst way. It's hard on the body, and there are STDs that you can't avoid with any type of protection. At least, Only Fans nixes the STD risk. You know how many ppl fell into financial crisis during lockdown? Did you miss the part where people around the world lost the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 03:55 PM
6

I always find it interesting how men who complain about not getting attention from women will list the attributes they think are important about themselves without a single detail on their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 08:45 AM
–

Yes, because per the comments in this thread, there are men who believe that women who do not respond amiably to their advances deserve violence. However, amiably for some men means polite, while for some it means acceptance of those advances. I have no way of knowing what definition they are operating with, and that fact indeed does break the relationship between the two. Because responding amicably by my definition does not reliably preclude violence. The they = men who are strangers and appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 06:15 PM
–

You said: in what way does that ensure your safety I said: I cannot ensure my safety You said: it appears you believe that being rude to men who try to talk to you keeps you safe I don't know how much clearer I can make this for you. It doesn't keep me safe. I didn't say it keeps me safe. I said "I cannot ensure my safety". Having been attacked even when I've been nice has shown me that I cannot ensure my safety. You may be getting confused at my safety >>>> protecting their feelings. If I canno…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:46 PM
–

I cannot ensure my safety, that's the whole point. Out of the guy who stalked my friend and I for several hours before jerking off in front of us, the guy who grabbed my boobs and followed me home offering me money to have sex with him, and the guy who grabbed my wrist as I was walking past him on the street, I was never mean or rude to any of them. You're assuming that de-escalation results in better outcomes, without thinking about why it's necessary in the first place. De-escalation is for co…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:06 PM
–

I think the most terrified I've ever been has been when dudes start following me in their cars while I'm on foot. Pulling U turns to follow someone who doesn't want to talk to you is unhinged behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 01:01 PM
–

I don't get why that would compel you to encourage bad behavior. What you just said was the equivalent of "just be nice and maybe you won't give them a reason to harm you". Which, like, you get how absolutely wild that is, right? That I have no choice in whether or not someone chooses to interact with me, but if they choose me as their target, maybe being nice will allow me to proceed on with my day unscathed. To answer your question though, politely turning men down and getting cursed out or fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:59 PM
–

Strangely confrontational Omg, yes! They always seem like they're screaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:04 AM
12

I want all the men here who are like "but my feelings!" to see this comment. Because we're supposed to know the difference between this guy and the guy will treat us with respect when they both approach us as strangers. Because we're mind readers, clearly. Edit: Referring to the comment you responded to, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 05:40 AM
12

And we don't know which ones will and won't. We do not know which of the strangers will simply walk away in the face of rejection, or completely fly off the handle. The protection of a stranger's feelings will never take precedence over my personal safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 05:38 AM
3

I definitely recognize other guys don’t take it well or stalk or worse but , if the guy is chill then be honest but chill about it Are y'all parrots? You basically said the same thing as the OP, which is the exact point that the commenter I responded to was criticizing. Y'all have got to come up with something better than "I know it's dangerous but my FEELINGS". I don't know if you are chill, you are a stranger. A guy approaching me in a chill way is not an indicator that he will continue to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 05:34 AM
14

It's wild because men expect women to know which ones won't hurt us, like we're mind readers or something. Like I've been followed, groped, and jerked off in front of enough for a lifetime. Leave me alone. Edit: Missed a word.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:20 AM
1

I was curious about this part too. This is wholly different than rejecting a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:32 AM
1

No. Never have, and def don't plan on doing so in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:30 AM
1

My best friend cries in front of the woman he's been dating for a year now regularly. She's fully committed to him, honestly, moreso than he is to her. He has a lot of shit to work through and she's down to stick around while he works through it. She loves him.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 11:18 AM
2

A person's children's happiness is not the same as that person's happiness. So you completely dodged the question on that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:29 AM
2

We talk to our friends. That how I learned what an orgasm is. And statistically, men suck at giving them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:27 AM
2

Right. I'm not dating the past guy for a reason. The ppl here seem to be unaware of how consistently and aggressively men pursue their exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:25 AM
1

I’d hands down choose to be alone. When I was dating as a younger person I settled/ignored dealbreakers, but those things inevitably caused me to end the relationship later on. Some dealbreakers are ethics things like “no homophobes”. But many of them are quality of life things like “must have a vested interest in progressing their career”, because I’m not slowing the trajectory of my life or tempering my accomplishments to fit a partner into my life. And ignoring some of my dealbreakers would r…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:04 PM
3

Well yes, a religious denomination that protects men who rape children will certainly get more attention than a bunch of random men who have nothing in common but raping children. The latter doesn't have a powerful global organization that claims to be morally sound trying to keep them from getting prosecuted for their crimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 09:05 AM
1

Men virtue signal just as much, they just suck at it. Please see r/niceguys for a plethora of examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:50 PM
2

I can’t decide if I want to get married or not, honestly. I view it as more of a financial/legal decision than one based in love. I also don’t have this desire for an LTR to be permanent. I accept that humans grow and change, and two people who are madly in love at 30 may not be at 55, and that’s okay. If I want to be with someone and they want to be with me, we’ll choose to be together. Marriage doesn’t really change that besides the fact that it makes relationships much more difficult to end. …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 01:55 AM
2

What kind of fuck shit. I'm sorry this happened to you and I truly hope you've been able to get some help
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:48 PM
1

Those anger issues, whew. Get some help 🙌🏾
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:47 PM
1

I uhhh, never said I came up with the idea. I just...read? Articles about things that are important to me? To uh...learn new things. But I wouldn't expect someone who literally wrote "homelessness is not a housing issue" to be able to understand the concept of that. Must suck to be so angry all the time. If you can stretch your brain a little maybe you might be able to check out the already existing data that I never claimed I personally made up: https://www.vox.com/2014/5/30/5764096/homeless-sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:12 PM
0

"Homelessness is not a housing issue". And you're calling me brain dead, LMAO. I got this information because I volunteered at a soup kitchen...and learned about housing insecurity from people who have literally been running the facility and dealing directly with this population of people for years. I'm sure they know more about what's causing homelessness than a person who says the words "homelessness is not a housing issue". Your comment is in the running for the dumbest response I've seen on …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:53 PM
2

This is such a classic on this sub. Ppl responding with these far fetched ideas that have nothing to do with your actual comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 04:05 PM
2

And I reiterate, I'd love for you to point out where I said it doesn't exist. Because you see, I made sure to write what I wrote very carefully, to focus on my own personal experience, and to never claim that the conversations aren't happening, but to point out that I never see them happen. I've personally never had a guy lament the lack of male specific birth control options to me. So, I'd love for you to point out where I said it doesn't exist. I'll wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 03:53 PM
1

This is so interesting, thank you! This is the write up on the study I linked and seems to provide way more info somehow. Unless there are multiple studies. Female hormonal birth control isn't 100% either, so even lowering sperms counts is a huge contribution. For say, a couple where the woman can't handle hormonal BC or the copper IUD, a reduction in her partner's sperm count with him on hormonal BC would still go a long way towards them sharing the burden of preventing pregnancy. On some women…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:53 PM
2

Yeah, it's really interesting! She's in a committed relationship and continues to have sex. Deals with the UTI's as they come, and takes supplements, I believe. There isn't really anything to be done, she's talked to her doc about it. Some people are just more prone. I've had two and they're super aggressive for me—initial pain to blood in urine within 3 hours, I have to rush to an ER for antibiotics. They're no where near as bad for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:46 PM
1

Do you have a source for this? I'm trying to find more info on the side effects and it's hard. I did read one study about testosterone being fairly effective as male birth control, but trials were stopped because it lead to increases male libido, acne, weight gain, and mood swings. Which is exactly the same as what women deal with except our libido decreases. Birth control definitely makes some women suicidal as well. I've had multiple women tell me that they cannot handle hormonal BC due to its…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:55 AM
1

I'd love for you to point out where I claimed it doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:48 AM
1

I too hope vasogel is approved. I've seen a couple of people mention that female hormonal BC companies may very well be lobbying to prevent the approval of it. One person actually made fun of the fact that I'm repeating it, but as you mentioned with GE, lobbyists...lobby and it's not always easy to find info on what they're up to Comments in this thread also taught me that male birth control does exist in the form of testosterone. I read the study on it and it seems like trials were stopped due …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:47 AM
1

I hope so as well. Though I've seen a couple of comments in this thread that mentioned that companies who make female birth control have a vested interest in stopping it from being developed because they'd lose a lot of money if women started coming off hormonal birth control due to the introduction of vasogel. Which would definitely happen in committed relationships at the very least. Vasogel is far cheaper than female BC.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:36 AM
2

For the same reason that conservatives are against anything that makes good financial sense, poverty means more opportunities for rich people to get richer. We know that housing homeless people is cheaper than leaving them on the street. But think of all of the money you can make off them when you leave them without one or more of the 4 things necessary to survive (medical care, food, shelter, money). The longer someone is seeking help, the more money there is to be made off them. Maybe they'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:28 AM
-1

I was actually reading a study on male birth control last night due to a couple of people mentioning the existence of testosterone as an option. It seems that the most effective male birth control found so far that has been researched long enough to have had time for approval is testosterone. It actually increases male sex drive, causes weight gain, acne, & mood shifts (including depression). Those side effects are the reason trials were stopped. But women deal with low sex drive, weight gain, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:18 AM
1

Interesting, okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 02:09 AM
0

I uhhh...is this sarcasm? I really can't tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 02:08 AM
2

This is actually another reason I don't get why I don't see men talk about this more. Child support seems awfully late in comparison. Beyond the option to control your own fertility, you'd also get to add extra protection to the mix.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:29 AM
4

Every vagina is different, some are more sensitive than others. I wouldn't call it a medical issue. Vaginas are just different and have their own quirks. Taste different, smell different, are shaped different, etc. Some can take all the dicks and not bat an eye (or maybe a lip)? Others are more specific. I'm a doula so I ask lots of questions about my friends vaginas. They're really all just different. I have a friend for whom sex reliably will trigger a UTI. I've looked into it and she likely j…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:40 PM
3

What's MRA? And as I said in my post, it was the Texas abortion topic from yesterday that spurred this question. I noticed that I didn't personally see anyone talking about the lack of male BC options, which lead me to realize that I've never had a man say to me "I wish I had more options for preventing pregnancy as a man", or anything along those lines.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:36 PM
4

You, like many others here, completely missed the question. But okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:34 PM
15

Yup. Especially them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:33 PM
2

I have no problem at all with this response. And yes, it is a serious question.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:28 PM
3

Stealthing is not immediately noticeable. If a guy pulls the condom off mid-coitus, and I'm turned on enough, and his dick is out of my line of sight, I promise you I won't know the difference. Plan B literally only works if a woman has not ovulated. Again, I come back to the fact that men need to learn more about how birth control actually works. I want to know why it's not a bigger conversation compared to the conversation I see around ducking child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:26 PM
1

I did not ask men what they can do to avoid pregnancy. I asked why men seem so intent on fighting against child support instead of fighting for more male specific BC options.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:20 PM
13

I don't think a lot of people realize this, nor do they realize how hard it can be to pursue child support. My godchild is 11 and their dad stopped paying child support in March. He's having a new kid and decided he couldn't afford it anymore. She's definitely more financially stable than him, and def above average in terms of financial stability. Can she support the kid on her own? Yes. Should she? No. He wanted this kid too. So she's taking him to court. That's her time, her money, her peace o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:17 PM
3

Non hormonal IUD's generally double the length of a period. My doctor advised against it because since my period is a week long, and I have just about a 26-28 day cycle, I'd pretty much be on my period 50% of the time. It also worsens many period symptoms, including cramps. Before I got on supplements, my cramps were crippling. I almost passed out once and caught myself on the way down, head was on the path to the corner of my parents' porcelain bathroom sink and I was home alone for at least 3 …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:05 PM
2

All valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:00 PM
7

It. Is. Wild. But not unexpected. I know which sub I'm on 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:57 PM
8

You missed the point, also Google "stealthing".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:56 PM
13

Men can go fuck as many women as they want in 10 months (full term pregnancy), and get them pregnant. On the other hand, a woman gets pregnant and carries that baby (maybe up to 3, reasonably) to term once in 10 months. Takes another bit for a uterus to be able to get pregnant again, especially if she's breastfeeding. So there isn't really a limit on how many children a man can have, while women are limited by that say...one baby a year...ish during their fertile years. Obviously this math is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:34 PM
3

I actually didn't know that testosterone was an option until this thread. Happy to have learned something new 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:20 PM
3

I can. My vagina doesn't like foreign substances, though. Even sex with a new penis can easily trigger a yeast infection.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:07 PM
4

You do realize that we decide on which drugs to develop based on legal/societal pressure, right? I did see another comment that mentioned that the companies that make female hormonal BC have good reason to lobby against Vaselgel, because one shot every few years is way cheaper than pills/IUDs. Which I haven't seen evidence of, but I'm sure is happening given what I know about lobbying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:05 PM
1

Honestly, this arose from the thread on abortion yesterday. I don't think all men are this way. This sub is way more conservative leaning than any other place I (figuratively or literally) frequent in my life. But yesterday I saw a lot of complaints about birth control, but not a single complaint about the lack of male birth control options. Which lead me to realize that I never hear men complain about their lack of options for BC. Hence my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:01 PM
3

I bring this up with the men I sleep with and they get so uncomfortable. I'm always like "FYI, if I get pregnant, I'm not having a baby". We use protection and all, but I'm letting them know that I'm not birthing their kid. My body is willfully home to a party of one until I explicitly decide otherwise. Definitely dampens the mood. I have never had a single man bring up this topic to me. I'm always the one to bring it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:58 PM
1

There are so many deliberately avoiding the question I posed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:54 PM
10

🙌🏾 I try. I've grown tired of responding to the same gist of comments over and over, though 🤦🏾‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:51 PM
6

I couldn't find specific details on this. I knew hormonal BC was developed for men initially, but I didn't know what the side effects were exactly to argue that women go through the same shit. Kills our sex drive, causes blood clots, can render us infertile, cause mood swings, rip through uterine walls, change who we're attracted to, etc etc. Thank you for the background 🙌🏾 Any chance you have a source? I really want to learn more about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:50 PM
2

Completely agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:17 PM
18

Sentiment around this aside, I do want to comment on the "slim" chance. Men can get women pregnant at any time, while women are only able to get pregnant up to 24 days a year assuming a 30 day menstrual cycle (slightly above the average of 28 days). So women are far less likely to get pregnant than men are to get women pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:16 PM
6

Can you elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:43 PM
4

Really trying to focus on the options for preventing pregnancy here, rather than arguing the semantics of child support itself. My views on child support itself are complicated because I know women who've been walked away from even after the man being there till the age of 5, and I know men who were lied to about the woman's birth control use.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:43 PM
12

Seeing as how I started the discussion, I can tell you that this is definitely a birth control debate. Go check the title. It's right there, I pinky promise.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:21 PM
21

Men often can't verify that women are on birth control. So that's neither here nor there for me. The question is about men's ability to prevent pregnancy and how much they actually care about that ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:20 PM
3

Cool, but doesn't answer my question. Why do men seem to care more about ducking out on child support than they do about preventing pregnancy in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:18 PM
8

And as I said in response, yes, scientists are working on it. Scientists are working on a lot of things. But my question has nothing to do with whether or not scientists are working on it. I want to know why isn't this a conversation I see men having. The question is why men seem to care less about their personal options for preventing pregnancy than they do about ducking out on child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:17 PM
9

I definitely support people having this conversation before sex, but people change their minds too (on both sides). So I'm not sure how much this would really affect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:13 PM
7

They can be. But again, men aren't fighting for options to prevent the pregnancy in the first place. They're way more concerned with dodging the consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:11 PM
3

Yeah, but why don't I see pushing for it as a conversation? I don't ever see men go "wow, I really wish I had better methods for preventing pregnancy". I know that science is working on it, but I don't ever see men complain about it. I only see them complain about having to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:10 PM
8

Well...clearly the burden for birth control is heavily on women right now. If men really cared so much about preventing pregnancy, why aren't talk fighting for better options around preventing it?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:07 PM
6

I didn't ask why men are against child support, I asked why they're not comparitively fighting so hard for more BC options.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:06 PM
15

Yeah, but we're talking about the path to getting pregnant here. Why are men spending so much energy on the defensive rather than the offensive? Y'all should care more about preventing unwanted pregnancy so that you don't ever have to deal with the pregnancy at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:05 PM
4

Did you read the part where I wrote than men tend to view birth control as an end all be all, which makes me think that men don't actually understand how birth control works? Because you seem like someone who doesn't understand how birth control works. "Women have more ways to avoid pregnancy than men" is exactly my point. Why aren't men clamoring for more options to avoid pregnancy?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:03 PM
3

I keep keep keep looking this one up. I'm so eager for it to get through trials.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:00 PM
6

This doesn't really address my question, but I have a response anyway. Children in the US are cared for based on their parents income, that's just how it is. School districts are funded based on the income of the people who pay taxes in that district. Parent can afford to move to a better neighborhood, child gets access to better education. Parent can afford to buy better food, child gets access to better nutrition. Parent can't afford school lunch, child gets no food for the school day (in some…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:58 PM
3

Pro-lifers still have abortions, though. There's what people support for others, and what people support for themselves. They don't always align. One friend in particular was actually pro-choice but got oopsie pregnant and couldn't go through with an abortion herself. For better or worse, she did end up miscarrying (which is super common anyway), but it was interesting to witness her being a staunch supporter of abortion, just not for herself. For me supporting abortion isn't about my personal c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 03:04 AM
3

Nah. To be fair, I think being pro-life is weird. But I don't view a person's stance on abortion as being intrinsically connected to their desire to have children or lack thereof. I'm pro choice and would like to have a kid but I'm on the fence due to climate change. I'm not sure I want to bring a human into this world. Has absolutely nothing to do with my stance on abortion, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:40 AM
2

But you said in earlier comments that you don't support paying for them. Something about unearned help, I don't remember the exact comment. And I'd love to know how you know what's in my bank account. Your statement is so far off base it's hilarious. I just don't mind paying taxes to contribute to other humans having their basic needs met.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:36 AM
5

Why's it odd?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:27 AM
2

Edited my comment, made a typo
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:27 AM
4

There are plenty of pro-lifers who don't want kids. I'm in a Facebook group for a form of birth control and see their comments all the time. Zero desire for kids but heavily against abortion. Also, does this mean that you've never had PIV sex? ETA: Abortion, not birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:25 AM
1

Uh huh, and who pays for them to have basic life necessities until they can provide for themselves, in the case where the parent can't provide? Because idk if you've ever met a newborn, but they're not exactly capable of much more than staring, peeing, pooing, sleeping, and crying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:05 AM
5

And also, abortion. It's been around longer than many of the other forms of birth control we have today. It's called birth control, not pregnancy control.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:59 AM
2

I've asked you the same question multiple times and you clearly don't have an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:57 AM
1

It does when they're intimately connected. You hold the stance that abortion should be illegal. If abortion is illegal, unwanted children get brought into the world. Some of those unwanted children will be born to parents who cannot afford to care for them. What then? Like I said before, you are not pro-life, you are pro-birth. You don't care about children, you care about making women suffer for having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:37 AM
3

So what do you think should happen to these children you're so intent on bringing into the world? Say they have a parent who can't afford to support them, and was denied access to abortion. What exactly happens to the kid since you don't want the government to pay for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:35 AM
5

So you admit that you only care about children up until the point where they're born. How...convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:32 AM
6

"Easily avoidable". May I introduce you to a procedure named abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:29 AM
5

Lmfaooooo, this would be comical if we weren't talking about people's wellbeing right now. You don't care about the kids that are already here, so you're not gonna care about the new ones either. You're pro-birth, not pro-life. You don't gaf about kids once they're actually born.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:25 AM
4

It's my "kid", I'll abort it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:23 AM
5

I'm sorry I read "9 months is not very long" as "pregnancy is easy". My bad. I'm sure this law will just be able to predict if a woman who wants to have an abortion will have an easy pregnancy or not and make an exception for her if she's in for a hard one. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:19 AM
5

I'm talking about all of the resources it took to bring this into law. Those resources should go towards properly caring for the children that we already have rather than bringing new ones into the world. Raising a human for 18 years outweighs the cost of abortion...by a long shot. Birth is expensive. Complicated birth even more so. And that's just the process of getting the kid out of the womb alive. Then there's hospital stay, formula, diapers, wipes, bottles, pacifiers. Kids are expensive. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:16 AM
0

Ugh. Never even thought about it that way 🤮
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 01:06 AM
4

So you went from "pregnancy is easy, just deal" to "meh, may not be easy, deal anyway". Okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:55 AM
4

Because I'm thinking about it from the perspective of where to put resources. Instead of putting taxpayer resources towards forcing more unwanted children to come into the world via legislation, we should instead be figuring out how to properly take care of the ones we already have.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:52 AM
15

Governments need to figure out how to properly clothe, feed, educate, shelter, and protect the kids we already have in foster care before they litigate our vaginas. And even if they did, I'd still be pro-choice. But it's egregious that we already have children suffering through lackluster care and they're trying to force more to be brought into the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:23 AM
6

All of this. Also, slightly old data but 61% of abortions are performed on women who already have one child. So this narrative of loose women running around getting pregnant and racking up abortions isn't even true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:17 AM
5

Pregnancy is 10 months long, not 9. Pregnancy literally reconfigures the brain. So yes, 10 months of actual carrying for full term but then you have a brain that is forever changed. Pregnancy can cause lasting effects on the body, both physically and mentally. Post partum depression is horrific. My friend's mom's back broke while she was giving birth to him and she was rendered disabled for the rest of her life. Ever heard of HG? It's when a pregnant person is allergic to the hormones that pregn…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:16 AM
7

Not to mention that we're the only sex forced to put our bodies through the trauma of hormonal birth control even though it was originally developed for men. We have to put our bodies through so much shit in everything related to preventing or having a baby and governments are still trying to make it even harder to manage.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:02 AM
8

Well they still have abortions. They just do it in secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 11:48 PM
6

Pretty much my experience as well. Hit C cup at 12, harassment started in junior high. Been followed on foot, followed by cars, groped, cat called, etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:19 PM
0

I get that, and I’m not disputing what you said. But I know from experience that regardless of how much those arguments are backed by logic, they don’t go over well in this sub. Doesn’t matter how educated you are if your audience is unwilling. I also have a degree in social science, and years of experience in diversity, equity, and inclusion work across multiple companies. What you said is true, I just know that such logic doesn’t work here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 07:36 PM
0

Yes, you’re correct. Though, the social constructs/white colonialists created this mess argument isn’t one I bother using on this sub because it generally doesn’t go over well. Masculinity isn’t innate to men either. Masculinity is a social construct, as is race, femininity, gender, etc etc. But yeah, I try not to go down that path here because I end up going down unproductive rabbit holes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 07:13 PM
10

Toxic masculinity is men getting shamed for: showing emotions, hugging their friends, wearing “feminine” clothes, being scrawny, playing with dolls, etc. The toxicity is from the person perpetuating these ideas. Now, there’s an additional angle of men displaying the opposite of these behaviors in a toxic manner. Eg. pounding 16 beers in an hour to show they’re manly or getting physical during a disagreement to prove their strength/“manliness”. A similar example on a woman’s end might be bragging…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:11 PM
1

It’s not called toxic femininity because there doesn’t need to be a phrase that is the exact opposite of “toxic masculinity “. The concept exists, but the wording doesn’t need to be the exact same for the concept to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:57 PM
8

Just because the exact term doesn’t exist doesn’t mean that the concept doesn’t. There’s tons of examples of toxic femininity. Women being shamed for not being able to have kids. For not breastfeeding. For having a demanding job that reduces the amount of household burden they can take on. In Black women, being too curvy or for being “angry”. For not smiling enough. For doing too much to attract men. For doing too little to attract men. For not wanting kids. For not being “feminine” enough. For …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:26 PM
2

The subjective vs objective argument is definitely a rabbit hole, but it also means that what you’re suggesting is fundamentally impossible. As it should be. Even in regards to human appearance, those standards change based on society. I’m from the US, now live in Europe, and have traveled a bunch. Standards around what people should wear change drastically everywhere. For example, bathing topless on Western European beaches is super common. I also found it interesting that girl children don’t t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:02 PM
2

I agree that “better” isn’t purely subjective, but I’d say it’s largely subjective, especially when you’re talking about the whole world. It’s even subjective within societies, but we’re not talking about societies here, we’re talking about the world. Generally speaking I’d say most of the world would agree on things like “don’t kill others”, “don’t rape children”, etc. But the things you’ve presented like what to wear and hairstyles is always going to be highly subjective when you’re talking ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:58 PM
2

“Better” is subjective, so I’m not sure how anyone could change your view, but our differences are what makes us human. There’s never going to be a world where everyone follows the same standard, just as there’s never has been. There are people who like “dolling” up, getting dressy, wearing makeup, etc. If we lived in a society where everyone wanted to do those things (opposite of what you’re suggesting), then maybe there’s a chance that society would improve simply due to the fact that everyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 02:42 PM
1

This is a Twitter thread I come back to constantly about how biological sex isn’t actually defined solely by our genitals, and was written by a biologist. Obviously not citeable, but it serves as a great starting point around what information to seek: https://mobile.twitter.com/RebeccaRHelm/status/1207834357639139328
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:52 PM
1

That’s your right.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 06:38 PM
5

Wait wait but don't forget woman hands. What good is a woman who doesn't clean and cook for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 03:31 PM
19

I also genuinely feel that hating women is a personality trait for many of them. I don't see how men who talk about women in the way that many of the men on this sub talk about women, could ever be in a loving relationship with a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 03:09 PM
2

Okay Mr. Scientist. ETA: It’s wild to me that you’re comparing something you literally need to survive, to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:44 PM
2

I looked up studies on the topic and overwhelmingly the research says that men are higher. However, more recent research isn’t so certain on that. It seems that previous studies assumed that women and men function in the same ways sexually, which is obviously not true. We also live in a society that stigmatizes (and has always stigmatized) women’s sexual drive, and that has an impact on the way it’s viewed. For example, many studies don’t take into account that our sex drives follow our menstrua…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 08:33 AM
1

That’s helpful, thank you =)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:51 AM
2

Oh, that’s very interesting. I don’t cry easily, so I appreciate hearing about your experience. I don’t do well with people crying in front of me. I don’t judge people for crying, I think it’s great to release your emotions, I just don’t know what to do if they start doing it in front of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:39 AM
1

Ahhh, I see. It’s emotional regulation. That has to be really hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:32 AM
1

Sry, I’m a bit confused. What do you lie about?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:27 AM
2

I mean there’s science that says otherwise but okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:25 AM
5

I’m truly sorry to hear about your assault, I hope you have or have had access to therapy for it ❤️ I wouldn’t credit my parents with my mindset lol, I had to unlearn a lot of what they taught me about sex and my bodily autonomy. My hookups are never amazing sex. I literally do it to take the edge off because I can get to where I’m thinking about sex ALL the time if I’m horny enough. It’s untenable. So if I get to that point I just have sex so I can think straight again. Takes a good 3-4 times o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 11:59 PM
5

But we don’t tho. Depends on the age. I’m speaking from experience when I say that our sex drive definitely increases as we become older adults. I will say that being on hormonal birth control can lower our libido, and a lot of women are on hormonal bc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 11:18 PM
3

As far as calling again, depends on how I know him. If it’s solely a hookup, idgaf. I have one friend that I’ve hooked up with a couple of times. Would be weird AF if he just upped and ghosted seeing as we’ve been friends for over 10 years. As far as what they think about me, that’s a weird question. We’re both doing the hooking up. If he thinks less of me for hooking up with him when he’s also hooked up with me, that’s trash and no I don’t care what they think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 11:13 PM
2

I definitely have casual sex because I’m horny, and I’ve never been able to orgasm with a partner. I can go a long time without having sex but I will inevitably hit a wall where I need to have sex to “take the edge off”. Once I’ve done that I can go back to self pleasure and be fine for another while.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 10:11 PM
3

-6. Firm leftist.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 02:32 PM
2

Well yes, I agree with everything you just wrote, but your original comment of “If adulting were easy it would not be for adults” in response to someone saying “adulting is exhausting” is exactly the type of mentality that causes people to work themselves into exhaustion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 07:44 AM
4

I mean good for you, but some people aspire to rest/relaxation and that’s okay. I’ve grinded myself into poor health before, so I’m not a lazy person. If the grind works for you, cool. But that’s doesn’t mean that everyone needs to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 06:49 AM
1

Mhm hmm, tell me you have a small dick without telling me you have a small dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 06:19 AM
5

This is definitely a man problem to some degree or there wouldn’t be such a disparity between the frequency with with women orgasm in hetero pairings vs homo pairings. Also, I’m a woman who does not orgasm from partner sex and it is totally a me thing. I tell my partners as much and they inevitably (against my warnings) take it as a challenge. Once they realize that they cannot, in fact, make me orgasm, most men stop putting much effort towards my pleasure at all in spite of the fact that I do n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 11:48 PM
2

Large penises can literally cause jaw injuries. This is a size issue. A friend of mine had to stop going down on her hubby for a bit not because she didn’t want to do it anymore, but because her dentist told her she needed to give it a rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 11:12 PM
1

Okay, so here’s the thing about HIV. It is not only very uncommon outside of men who are having sex with men, the prevalence of it also decreases the more money someone makes. I am a Black woman who only dates Black men, so that does place the risk a bit higher as it has higher prevalence among Black and Latinx populations based on US data. I’m also somewhere between middle and upper middle class. You know what STI actually keeps me up at night? HPV. Penises aren’t screened for it, vaginas are o…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 11:00 PM
2

As I said, different types of normal for different people. I never said it wasn’t normal. Men think they’re on their best behavior by date three. In my experience, that’s when the veneer starts to fade. My strategy is to tell men what I’m looking for values-wise up front. They then choose one of two paths: be themselves, or pretend to be what I told them I’m looking for. On the latter, I have yet to find a man who can keep up the act for 3 dates, & dishonesty is an automatic disqualification. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 10:24 PM
3

There are different versions of “normal” for different people, though. I’d never wait 3 months to have sex with a man because sexual compatibility is too important for me to invest that much time. I easily know after 3 dates if I would consider entering into a relationship with someone, but I’d also have had sex with them by that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 08:14 PM
3

Learnings. I’ve dated a variety of men. It’s what shifted my pre-dating idea of what I wanted in a partner, to a more fleshed out idea of what I want in a life partner, backed by experience. I now understand more about men, myself & what I like, & being a balanced partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:06 PM
8

Your desire for “not a modern day feminist” feels at odds with your desire to be non-monogamous unless you can afford to date multiple women within the framework of polygamy. Would you also be okay with your partner being non-monogamous?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 07:40 AM
1

In what? I studied Comms for undergrad. No regrets at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 05:31 PM
1

I've found IT to be fairly balanced, at least based on the IT people I've known. However, there weren't many women at the last company I worked at that had a big IT team. But that was about 3 years ago. They finally did get one woman before I left. I do think that's shifted some over the past few years. Also, so many directions you can beach into from there. I find information security to be a really cool field for example, and know someone who self studied into it from being a coder.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 10:16 AM
–

It's all just a code that humans have come up with. Morals are made up by humans, largely based on how things make us feel. Of course it's screwed up to talk to a person every day for weeks, go on dates with them and then just stop talking to them with no explanation. There are levels to ghosting, though, and shit happens. I personally would only peg it as immoral depending on the severity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 10:12 AM
–

That doesn't matter. Humans came up with ethics and morals in the first place. If a loved one gets killed, we don't need religion to tell us that such an event is devastating. Obviously I'm assuming that we're not talking about socio/psychopaths here. Not to mention the atrocities across human history that have been committed in the name of religion. We know what hurts us and what doesn't. We have the ability to communicate and let others know when we're hurt. That is mutually exclusive of relig…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 02:56 AM
–

I'm sorry. Do you not believe religion was made up in people's heads? Who do you think wrote the Bible? Animals? Religion is a social construct.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 01:51 AM
2

Yeah, and you chose a bunch of assholes to date, and then supplemented them being assholes to future partners. Says a lot about you. And LOL @ you believing you were spared. The naivety is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 08:20 PM
1

Not exactly a secret, but I do want to limit the details I provide on my account. I do work in business leadership within the tech industry, though. And it's behavior I've seen across tech. Law is absolutely brutal from what I've seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:58 PM
2

The women you've dated says nothing about women in general, but it sure says a lot about you. Sounds like you have a penchant for dating assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:56 PM
1

Interesting, kk. I've worked in environments where it wasn't uncommon to see people cry. It annoys the hell out of me that such behavior (making people cry) is so normalized & accepted in the professional world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 02:39 PM
2

Interesting, kk. I've worked in environments where it wasn't uncommon to see people cry. It annoys the hell out of me that such behavior (making people cry) is so normalized & accepted in the professional world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 02:39 PM
6

Haha, that's why I felt the need to state it. In my field it's definitely necessary. I'm also now in leadership, so I'm encountering a lot of narcissists and assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 02:35 PM
7

Are...are you making people cry at work?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 01:01 PM
13

Highly agree. Though I do also try to maintain my feminine traits in professional environments because fuck having to be pushy and aggressive in order to be successful. I want to be me and be successful. It's been interesting trying to mesh my personality with what's necessary to get ahead in corporate. However, I'm ambitious in my career because the resulting success means that I get the freedom to do the things I want like travel, eat at fancy restaurants, buy myself things I like, etc. Has ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 01:01 PM
3

Been single for 10 years after about 7 of very consistent dating because I haven't found anyone worth the trouble. I decided to stop settling in order to be with a partner, and therefore stopped meeting people I was interested in being in a relationship with. The "devoid of romance" argument doesn't hold water for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:58 AM
4

I'm not waiting, I'm enjoying my life. I change me, not other people. I've been single for 10 years and I've been having a blast. If I find someone worth it, great. If I don't, so be it. When I did date, I wasn't seeking out assholes/douchebags. Major turn offs for me. The title literally says "women have to change". Not that I ever used the word "commanding" as you did, but that's not far off. I said this whole sub is men complaining about things they "think" women should do. Not sure what you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:56 AM
6

Not as good a position as the men themselves, whose actual responsibility it is to regulate their own behavior. Also, this whole sub is men complaining about shit they think women should do, including changing the behavior of men 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:32 AM
5

It's not women's responsibility to fix men. Full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 10:29 AM
1

So your answer is that men get upset about this because they think it shouldn't be that way. I'm still confused as to why what men want would have any impact on what I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 11:44 AM
1

Still no why.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 12:06 AM
1

I'm okay with limiting my pool though. Why does it make men mad? If I stay single for the rest of my life because I don't find a man who embodies what I want in a partner, that's not an issue for me. A potential partner is competing with my solitude, not other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:39 PM
1

Lawyers don't go to salary negotiations, but they certainly do go to divorce court. So that's a false equivalency. Can you cite a source for the stats you mentioned? Because lots of comments keep talking about it and I have yet to see a source.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:13 PM
1

Can you give me a source for the stats you stated? Why should what a man seeks in a partner have bearing on what a woman seeks in a partner? If a man doesn't seek a partner who is on his level economically, that's his business. It really has nothing to do with me. I decide what I want and seek that. So, again. Why is me seeking a partner on the same level as me economically such an issue with the men on this sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:11 PM
1

I've never had an issue making a partner happy. They've either had issues keeping me happy (usually because my partners failed to give me the level of care that I gave them), or we simply weren't compatible. I actually stopped getting into relationships years ago because I realized that the things that I settled for at the beginning of my relationships, were usually the reasons I ended up ending the relationship. The overwhelming majority of my exes would date me again given the chance, and some…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:09 PM
1

I love my career and if I decide to take time off work, it'll be on my dime (like I've done before). Unless we're talking about taking time off due to having had a baby because that's a financial decision on both partner's parts, I have no plans to live off my partner. So your incorrect assumptions aside, I ask again, why are men so upset about me seeking a man who is around my level economically?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:04 PM
1

Yeah, I'm not using my money to attract men. And to be clear, I don't have any problems when it comes to attracting men who are on my level economically. The topic isn't my dating success, it's why so many men have their boxers in a bunch about my seeking a perfectly reasonable attribute (in my opinion) in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:59 PM
1

Marriage is literally a financial decision, though. Of course it's transactional. It's disingenuous to act as though "character" the the only thing that would factor into marriage. "Character" is how I choose my friends. But if we're talking about a person that I'm going to tie my financial future to, and potentially bring very expensive new humans into the world with, finances will absolutely be a major factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:53 PM
2

This. I started as an engineering student in undergrad and lasted two years before pivoting to communications. Ironically my chosen field actually gives me a level of flexibility that engineering couldn't have so I have no regrets. But studying engineering was W-I-L-D. I went to an extremely hard tech school and was the only Black woman in my entire degree across the 5 year program. I once asked a professor to clarify something in class, and instead of asking me to come to office hours so he cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:39 PM
0

Who's gonna raise the babies if one of the parents doesn't do it? Birthing parent leave isn't even a guarantee in the US even though we literally have to grow a baby in our bodies, push said baby out, allow a huge wound inside our uterus to heal, and then often act as that baby's source of food for 6-12 months. Not only that, our brains literally change during pregnancy to ensure the survival of the baby. It is very hard to keep working your 9-5 and performing at the same level when your brain h…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:34 PM
1

Why are people in this sub so convinced that seeking a partner who matches me in economic level is so that I can use him as a wallet? I don't want a partner who matches me so that I can spend his money, I want that so that I can maintain the lifestyle I'm already paying for alongside someone who can also join in and enjoy life in the way that I do. Like yes, gifts and treats will happen, but in both directions. I have greatly enjoyed spoiling my past partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:29 PM
1

Men being two missed checks away from being on the street doesn't make any difference to the point of men making more than women. We're not talking about what I attract, we're talking about why me wanting a partner who matches me economically is so distasteful to men on this sub. If I don't attract a man I want, I'll stay single. Im asking about the issue with me seeking this attribute in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:26 PM
1

What proof do you have that the data is biased/manipulated? I found a source for your claim that single women make more than single men. That statistic only applies to childless, single women under the age of 30. Meaning that getting married, having a kid, and aging past 30 is actually more detrimental to us economically. Also, I'm a Black woman so the gap is even more drastic for me. Which means my point still stands, why is women looking for economic affluence in a partner so taboo? Source: ht…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:21 PM
2

Fair point. That's the vibe I've gotten as well, but decided to post anyway out of curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:13 PM
1

Not everyone wants to get married. I know people in successful LTR's who just don't have any desire to marry. I'm not sure how I feel about it myself, but if I meet someone I want to marry, I'll marry them. That said, I'm unsure of how your question relates to anything I posted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:12 PM
3

That's kinda sorta one thing off the list. But what about the rest? For most men I know, staying "engaged" in their lives is doing the bare minimum. I love my male friends but overwhelmingly, they struggle to properly process their emotions or go to therapy to learn how, cook, & maintain a clean space. Typically, one of these things is missing/inadequate. Let's not even get into the knowledge of how to please a woman in bed to bring things back to the original post. As a woman who is likely inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:15 PM
–

OP presented the fact that women are required to shoulder a heavier burden in the household though. Even with many more women than before being 50/50 financially in their marriages. So we have to have equal contribution financially, and cook, and clean, and birth the children, and care for the children and then find the energy in our ample leftover free time to also stay in peak physical and mental shape? Not to mention that we have periods, accounting for 20% of our fertile lives with a 20-30 d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 09:08 PM
–

Yeah...that I pay for. This isn't a situation where I'm having someone else pay for me. What's the point of having a partner if they're not coming along on adventures with me? The main thing I even want a partner for is companionship. Your description of that potential human says a whole lot more about your preferences than mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 05:45 PM
2

I have no issue with a partner making the same or less money than me. To be fair, I don't want a drastic difference because I'm bougie and like nice experiences and can't afford the things I treat myself to for two people. Additionally, as the person who would have to carry the babies, I don't want to be put in financial peril if I have a difficult pregnancy that takes me out of the workforce temporarily. But income is not a dealbreaker. I'm more concerned with character & motivation/drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 05:24 PM
1

Yes, and he's suggesting that men should mislead women for their own needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:07 PM
0

Wow, lmao. Is that what y'all think? That walking into a woman's life and paying for the occasional drink or dinner turns y'all into our "emotional and financial rock"? Talk about illusions of grandeur. You must think that single women are just wilting away waiting for a man to come swoop us up, buy us a meal, and solve all of our problems. As I stated, I don't lead anyone on. But thank you for flipping my words to fit the narrative you've created to feel better about yourself. If a man expresse…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:06 PM
-1

Better than fuckzoning women and not telling them about it like OP suggests. Anyone who believes in "friendzoning" is saying that the only value men can offer is sex, because apparently if we're not fucking them we shouldn't have them in our life at all, since the "friendzoning" is such a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:50 PM
8

Wait, so you're saying that men are more interested in FWB than women are. And then try to justify men leading women on to have desires met that are out of line with our own? If we take for granted that men want sex more than women, what does that have to do with us? Women are not playthings, we're humans. I can't tell you the amount of men that I will tell up front that I'm not interested in dating them, but they'll still want to hang out with me and insist on paying for things, even though I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 05:44 PM
4

Yeah, exactly. The ability to pass responsibility off between each other is a necessity in a strong relationship. Shit happens, and sometimes people become incapacitated. When one person is unable to take on that added responsibility from time to time, it can breed resentment. Also, pregnancy is a crapshoot and is no joke. It's not uncommon to become disabled during pregnancy, especially in the later months. I'm not going to get with a partner who doesn't know how to take on responsibility from …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 04:45 PM
4

I don't care either way. I've dated men with hair down their backs, bald men, and balding men. I found all of them attractive. I'm more in support of my partner doing what they need to feel comfortable with themselves. Unless him getting a hair transplant would like, put us in financial peril it wouldn't be an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 12:48 PM
4

I've definitely seen the two conflated and it's toxic. Completely agree there. We're human, and sometimes we do need to care for each other from an emotional and physical standpoint. I have no issue with that. I have had partners however, that essentially expected me to raise them/fix their lives. That, I'm not on board with. To be clear, I don't have a problem with a partner having issues. Every person has their issues. But they need to want to fix those things more than I do, I cannot take the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 12:27 PM
5

From a personal standpoint, I genuinely don't rely on men in the way that partner (and some others have) needed to rely on me. I'm emotionally mature, care deeply about others' feelings, supportive, have a solid friend base that collectively meets my emotional needs, am financially independent, etc etc. I want a partner, not a parent. When I look for someone who is strong, stable, and can lead (and provide if need be), that's not me looking for a paternal figure. That's me looking for someone wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 12:22 PM
2

This is nurturing though. You don't need to mother to nurture. But "mother" implies care of a child. It's weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 03:22 AM
9

Yup. Learning the term "infantilization" really shifted things for me. I couldn't tell why my ex would become so unattractive to me the more I helped him work through his issues. I couldn't both want to help someone grow in the ways he wanted/needed to grow AND want to fuck him. The two were at odds with one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 03:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter