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View 1 post and 59 comments by ApprehensiveDot3115 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

DiscussionApprehensiveDot3115/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 04:54 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Yes, it does. If you look at all the curated content that's the general vibe. Man up, don't complain, be the guy who can handle adversity, adapt and overcome, be capable, be confident, don't expect anything from anyone, accept people for who they are, not who you wish they were, lead with your brain and let your heart merely suggest, etc. Broad topics about masculinity, presented in the crass kind of way groups of guys tend to speak in. Instead of dressing it up in flowery language. It all comes…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:07 AM
13

I don't think it's either. Historically, it's been patriarchal, but over the past few decades that's changed. Yes, people will play oppression olympics, and build cases for why they've got it worse than the opposite sex, because it's easy to be single-minded about why things are especially difficult for yourself, but life has different sets of difficulties for different groups of people. We all have our own challenges and injustices we face. Overall, in the west, the quality of life and social m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:51 AM
2

Keyboard go tippity tap.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:58 AM
2

That's the illusion. But ask yourself if the type of man who's doing that is the type of man you want to be in a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:43 AM
11

The reason why you have this belief is because the red pill is so often espoused by bitter dudes who want to whine about how evil women are for not having sex with them. There's also a lot of charged language in there, which is what they find humorous, but from the outside looking in, some would say it's toxic. The red pill's initial intention is exactly what you're describing. It's to tell dudes that they suck, not the world, and that if they want the results they're after, they have to take so…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:32 AM
2

I think most people would agree with you, since most are either politically moderate, or apolitical, just trying to live their lives. It's easy to forget on reddit, because people here tend to hold onto their political views like it's some sort of identity. There's a big "if you don't agree with me, you're evil" attitude from everyone. But I see politically mismatched relationships everywhere, even religiously mismatched ones, and as long as people aren't blinded by their righteousness and ready…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 11:44 PM
0

I think everyone knows this, deep down. But they just don't agree with the different standards set for men and women, because we were raised to believe we're all the same and that equality's important. Men are impressed by studs, because most men get no action, so they admire the guy who gets lots because he's consistently achieving some perceived difficulty. Women are put off by studs, because they don't like being led on and they don't like the precarious feeling of knowing the guy they like h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 11:26 PM
6

Lots of people would say yes, because they believe that's how things were in the past. Speaking from a western perspective, I think people in the 40s-50s were probably having lots of casual sex, too. The pop music of the era is full of innuendo, and poetic metaphors for infidelity. People were just more discrete about it due to the cultural taboo and public shaming. We think of the 60s as a cultural pivot point, shifting from ideals of tradition and temperance, to sexual liberation and emotional…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 11:01 PM
12

Right, it's give and take. But if you introduce a couple of these things early on, and keep them going, the guy will be willing to wait a little longer. As an example, I was seeing a girl once, who I thought wasn't into me because she turned down my advances during the first date. One of the things we did on that date was take the MBTI quiz and compared results. Going into the second one, she had made me a little model of the cartoon character that represents my type. I was definitely willing to…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:17 AM
24

Will you cook meals for him, or bring him baked treats? Will you clean his place for him when he's at work one day? Are you a soft, soothing presence after a stressful day? Do you get along with his friends? Do you make him look cool in front of his friends? When other guys flirt with you, do you lap up the attention, or do you immediately blank them? If you blank them, do you still do it when the guy you like isn't around to see? If you're creative, will you make little gifts for him? There's s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:50 PM
80

There's no single determining factor, withholding sex is one of many things you could do. And I advise all women do it if they don't wanna get pumped and dumped. But its effectiveness hinges on how much he desires you, and whether or not he has other options who won't withhold it. It's also about how you withhold it. Are you doing it in an off-putting way, acting totally disinterested in sex? No flirty touching, no innuendo, immediately changing the subject when he tries to turn the heat up, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:22 PM
7

It's more of a need than a want, for a man's mental wellbeing. As soon as I got the assuredness of knowing I could have some sex whenever I wanted, I felt much more at peace, and bold too. Any man who's gone from undesirable to desirable will no doubt agree it has an enormous impact on your confidence, and that confidence tends to have a snowball effect of making life go well for you when you have it, and shit when you lack it. That said, women aren't obligated to have sex with anyone, and they …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 02:10 AM
1

There's something to be said for the simple way of life. I watch videos on the Amish when life gets overwhelming, they're very soothing. One thing I've always admired about hardcore religious types is their commitment to their beliefs. They have this deep sense of trying to overcome the pitfalls of human nature, to not be governed by primitive instincts and desires. But to instead practice discipline and restraint. And to act for the betterment of their communities, or God, or whatever. I suppos…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 12:08 AM
14

I pay. Women are still overwhelmingly attracted to traditionally masculine behavior, despite the current popularity of progressive gender politics, even despite most not wanting to be traditional themselves. I'm fortunate enough to not need to worry about the money, so it's not a huge sacrifice on my part. Even the most progressive woman becomes undeniably tingly for you when you turn down her offer to pay half, and cover it all yourself. Yeah, it's hypocritical of them, but that's just a good s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 03:56 PM
7

I was a very solitary young man, at some point I realized I need to develop some social skills. I read How to Win Friends and Influence People, and tried out its techniques. They worked. I started going to the gym, after learning that people are naturally predisposed to giving preferential treatment to attractive people. And it'd also make me healthier, so that's two birds with one stone. I discovered the red pill. The way it described male and female sexuality through the lens of evolutionary p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 02:29 PM
3

How can you know it's unwanted? Many welcome it if they find you attractive, or if they're in a social mood. You never really know until you try. As long as you're respectful enough to gtfo if she's not feeling it, it's no problem. Some women like being approached, others don't. Approaching is essentially just asking her "Are you cool with this, or nah?" Why make your world so insular? It's not some shameful thing to talk to strangers. You never know which lifechanging people you might meet in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 12:59 PM
15

Do you really think initiating conversations with people you might be interested in, is antisocial behavior? How do you think people meet others in any other context? If they're not feeling it, you move on and leave them alone. 'Cornering' is such charged language. Most people have good intentions. There's nothing wrong with saying hello if you find someone interesting, and think they might find you interesting too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 12:42 PM
14

I got over the fear of rejection, it served its purpose. Pre-PUA days, approaching women made me feel extremely anxious to the point where I'd avoid it completely. 'Why even try if it could go wrong? It could backfire! She could say no and it would be embarrassing.' This mindset was glued to me and it was affecting multiple areas of life, stifling my ambition. After a relentless PUA faze, I lost that fear. 1000 no's immunize you to it, you realize it doesn't matter. And it helped me develop my s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 12:21 PM
5

Lots of men categorize the women they like into two categories. FWB material, and relationship material. Whether this is right or wrong is a matter of opinion, but this is the reality of how a lot of men operate. The reason why these men appear contradictory, is because people assume they hold the same standards for both categories of women. If a woman sleeps around, a man isn't going to be interested in doing all the sacrificial chivalrous stuff for her, because she's not behaving traditionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 05:03 PM
3

I think most average men would, if they somehow knew they'd 100% get away with it. Average men are invisible to the vast majority of women. If he was reasonably attracted to her, and she was making it easy for him, he'd probably go for it. I've been cheated on once before, and it was absolutely gut-wrenching. The worst heartbreak of my life. I often think about how it wouldn't feel nearly as bad to cheat on someone as it does to be cheated on yourself. It makes me think things like "Well, if che…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 01:52 AM
5

They can be anything you want them to be, as sensible or as stupid as you like. You don't want to date someone who wears the color blue? That could be a boundary. Or not wanting to be with someone who's into the party lifestyle. The difference between boundaries and being controlling, is if your boundaries aren't respected, you walk away. You don't try to change the person, or plead with them, you end the relationship because they don't want to respect your boundary. Anything else would be contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 08:31 PM
83

I'm mildly autistic, the red pill saved me. Before it, I was utterly clueless about basic social dynamics and hierarchies. I always wondered why I was getting it wrong, and why everyone seemed to say one thing but do another. It was a confusing and frustrating time. When I found the red pill, it invigorated me in the same way my special interests do. Because for the first time in my life I was seeing frank discussions about human nature and how it affects social situations. It was so refreshing …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 03:54 PM
6

I'm taking the happy go lucky mindset to the grave, don't want to grow into a cynical old man. Sometimes you get bitten, but life bites you anyway. You might as well try to find the joy, wherever it's hiding.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 03:04 AM
48

I think the perceived lack of general life experience is a red flag for them. They might ask themselves "Why'd he take longer than everyone else to catch up, is there something wrong with him?" They're right to be concerned, a lack of life experience is a potential sign of incompetence and immaturity. No woman wants that. I was a late bloomer, and I saw this effect first hand when I finally got good at dating. Women would see the lack of experience as a red flag and it'd spook them into backing …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 02:58 AM
9

Sometimes people just have a chip on their shoulder keeping them bitter and suffering. When you discover those kinds of thought patterns, they're relatively easy to correct. People have helped me see my psychological blind spots in the past and it really unlocked my potential, so I feel compelled to do the same for others. Typical "I can fix her" attitude from younger me though, it's better to stay away.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 01:12 AM
59

I feel sorry for women who say this, and things like it. A person doesn't just come to those conclusions out of nowhere, such an aggressive stance can only come from a pile of negative experiences they've had with men. At the same time, I couldn't date them. I've had to stop doing that. I don't want to be with someone who's predisposed to seeing me as the enemy anymore, because they've got always some unnecessarily charged argument or resentment brewing about how 'men are trash' when you acciden…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 12:49 AM
1

It's something to consider. I like chubby pear-shaped women, they're my favorite. But are those same eating habits, the ones that made her attractive to me, going to make her size up unflatteringly as we age? Maybe it's better to aim for someone who's at least a little health conscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 08:29 PM
–

Of course. You're not instantly good at many things when you're new, you have to go through a faze where you're fumbling and fucking it up, because that's how you get better. Dating is no different. If you're socially inept, and want to become socially adept, you're going to creep some people out and come across weirdly for a while because you don't know how to act. You shouldn't let it get you down, you know your intentions are pure and you're not trying to be creepy, you just unknowingly do so…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 08:13 PM
31

Yeah, most people are virtue signalling when they say overweight kweens are beautiful because there's this social pressure to always have the correct and righteous opinion. The apple-shaped body is clearly not as sought after as the hourglass. It's obvious in the way attraction manifests itself. Every woman who's experienced weight fluctuations has no doubt noticed men pursuing her more when she was skinny, even if everyone in the social circle all agree weight doesn't matter. It evidently does.…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 12:33 AM
–

You don't need to be perfect to receive affection. But if you overtly seek it out, I'm sure you've noticed it makes you seem desperate and needy, even if you're not. Unfortunately, women find these traits particularly repulsive in men. You'll receive all the affection in the world when you can add value to people's lives. All relationships and social dynamics are transactional. If you're funny, people will invite you everywhere, even if you're ugly and broke. They'll pay for your drinks, because…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 01:51 AM
71

Men will have similar gripes about women. A man and a woman have two vastly different experiences of life, it's difficult for us to relate to and understand each other's gripes. For every creepy simp and pushy fuckboy leering over your profile, there's a ton of regular dudes you've tarnished with the same brush. For every vapid instathot or dry texter I've unmatched, there's a ton of perfectly nice women I judged too harshly too soon. If you have a hostile attitude towards the other sex, you wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 08:33 PM
10

No. This is something people with trust issues do. They do it to try and alleviate the anxiety that comes with a lack of trust, but they don't see how it exacerbates the issue. Knowing your girl's location at all times isn't going to make you feel at ease, it's just going to nurture obsessive and paranoid behavior. You're torturing yourself by doing this, even though you think it helps, because your brain is getting a little hit of dopamine every time you check her location, so you're getting re…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 07:46 PM
18

For the average dude, getting laid feels like a game of pure chance, because the average dude isn't exciting enough for the average woman. Dudes get tunnel vision on the possibility of sex, and women find it offputting because his constant advances and innuendos look like desperate grovelling to her. There's countless experiences of a newly red pilled dude shocking himself with how much easier women are when he pretends not to be stunned by her beauty, and acts indifferently cordial with her. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 07:37 PM
2

That's the way to look at it. When you do it enough, you stop caring about the rejections. You lose the fear of rejection. That's an extremely useful power for life as a whole, it'll make it so much easier for you to bravely dive into any endeavor. You'll be less risk-averse when trying to achieve your dreams. Every guy should face 1000 rejections, they're blessings, not curses, for the reasons stated above. If you're not totally hopeless, and the average guy is not, some of those women are goin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 11:48 PM
1

Just want to say, well done for the approaches! Most internet pill bros wouldn't even do one, believing they'll be locked away with a rape charge just for looking at a woman. The odds of finding someone, for the average dude, are significantly better with cold approach than with online dating. It's a wise thing for any man to practice, and it builds social skills, with confidence not far behind. Even if you get 100 rejections in a night, every approach is a win, because you were brave enough to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 09:51 PM
0

Yeah, this is my experience too. I find non-western folks generally understand and agree when you talk about this stuff with them, you can talk about natural instincts and evolutionary psychology and they just get it. Some of these uncomfortable truths are difficult pills for westerners to swallow because we've all grown up in a culture that drills notions of equality, fairness, and effort = reward into us from a very young age. We like to think of ourselves as enlightened, rational, and above p…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 09:40 PM
–

I'm glad you said this. I think most men on here realize this deep down, but they see the challenge of holistically building themselves into an attractive man as some insurmountable task. There's so many areas for us to improve just to be visible to women in the first place. It can feel overwhelming. When you tell them women make it easy for you once you attain all these qualities, they don't believe you. I don't think they realize what a blessing it is that most of the things women assess us on…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 01:36 PM
30

It's only reddit women who say they don't like to be approached, I'll approach anywhere if I think she's attractive. Reddit women are talking about their experiences with some creepily persistent dude when they say this, and that's what they think men are like, especially men they don't feel attracted to. Reddit men are too neurotic and nervous to approach, so they pretend they're not approaching for fear of getting slammed with a rape charge, despite that not actually happening. Approach women …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 12:18 PM
5

Be careful communicating your feelings and boundaries over text, do it in person instead. If she's the temperamental type, offer no explanations. Just be brief, stern, and graceful about it. If she tries to argue, just let her scream into the void. Don't get into relationships with women who are likely to cross your boundaries, don't expect her to change her behavior for you. Be willing to walk away if she doesn't want to respect those boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 08:46 PM
2

This is a better way for guys to live in general, it's so much easier when she's totally enchanted by you. As I've gotten older, I only pursue those women. The process goes so much smoother, and you're given a lot of forgivable leeway with regards to little fuckups and potential 'icks' she may have. All of that stuff goes out of the window. Unfortunately for most guys, they have little options because women are so picky (rightfully so). Like starving dogs, these dudes will be willing to take wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 08:39 PM
19

Any trad con dude worth his salt is well-aware of the fact he needs to make a lot of money in order to achieve that life. Making enough for two people is no easy task, and he'll need to earn more for every child he wants to have. The dudes you see espousing trad con values, but only earning, say 20-50k, just have unrealistic expectations in the same way single moms on dating apps want Mr. Perfect. Only some of these dudes will become high earners, and they'll be properly positioned to find a tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:24 AM
11

I think plenty of women do this. A safe, stable, kind guy who's maybe a little boring is a very good investment for any future kids, health scares, emotional crises, etc. One pattern I see unfold a lot, is a woman who really wants a relationship, but can't get any of the fun, exciting guys to settle down with her, so she lowers her expectations and goes for the types of guys I mentioned instead. Another one I see, is a woman having had a relationship with one of the exciting guys, but has this c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 09:26 PM
3

I don't know why some dudes get so bent out of shape about it. Yes, there are plenty of women who dress 'sluttily' but it's not like you have to be with those ones. Surely it makes sense to aim for more modest women, who share your modest values? There's no shortage of them. Sure, they're not as exciting to look at, but they're there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 09:12 PM
10

Yes, quite a few, but I'm usually not attracted to them, either looks or personality-wise. I like these friends because it's an opportunity for me to play in some of my more feminine traits. With my male friends, I just want to be one of the guys, and with women I'm attracted to, there's always a slightly flirtatious vibe. But with these platonic female friendships, I surprise myself with aspects of my personality I don't usually have the opportunity to explore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 09:03 PM
1

If a social movement has a message that resonates, and a competent team behind it, it'll succeed. So far, all we have for men are like likes of Peterson and Tate, and they're not exactly winning the hearts and minds of the mainstream. I'm not sure who there is for women, but I'm sure there are some. But that kind of shift is not going to come from a bunch of frustrated people on the internet, some of whom have yet to try to solve their own individual shortcomings. It is a far more achievable tas…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 10:15 PM
1

He likely knows exactly what you're doing too, and it still works on him, despite that. And I'm sure he does similar things for you. It's just nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 08:43 PM
1

By that logic, why should a woman want or feel the need to be seen as beautiful by the man she's interested in, when in reality she might be closer to average-looking? We offer pleasantries to the people we care about because it's sweet and kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 08:40 PM
3

! Oh what a fool I've been.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 07:41 PM
2

There's a lot of gold in old wisdom if we're willing to sift for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 07:37 PM
5

I think there are plenty of ways for men to be needed, but it's never going to be as easy as it was in the past. As you mention, the world has essentially made us disposable, so in order to be needed, you have to be a higher calibre of man, or fill a gap in some niche market. Whether we like it or not, it's not enough to just be 'enough' anymore, if you want dating to be easy, and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. This is true for both men and women, the world is a competitive p…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 07:30 PM
7

People think the red pill is more than what it really is. Most ideological dudes who espouse it online just want to complain about how awful they think women are, and seem shocked that they actually have to work on themselves if they want results. A whiny, bitter, angry caricature of a man is what comes to most people's minds when they think of the red pill. The likes of Tate exacerbate this because he panders to those markets, perpetually outraged men are excellent consumers of super cool alpha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 07:05 PM
2

They'll be scared off by all the shit-flinging that happens here!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 06:23 PM
1

Solid strategy for anyone who wants ease, stability, and comfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 06:19 PM
1

This is the best thing to tell women who want real relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 06:17 PM
7

That rings true. It is what it is, though. Some people just fly off the handle whenever they feel wronged, even if they were the wronger, not the wrongee. Best way to deal with them is to not indulge them, disengage completely, and be socially graceful, even somewhat sympathetic, when others are curious about your side of the story.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 04:08 PM
1

I think it depends entirely on the individual's reasons for doing this. On one hand, you have those who are ideologically motivated. Maybe they've had some bad experiences with relationships, or lack thereof, and have fallen into a bitter, ruminating state on the resulting trauma. These ones are the ones to be wary of, and I agree with you in reference to them. They already think poorly of the opposite sex and they're trying to find logically sound ways to justify those beliefs. On the other, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 03:44 PM
2

Sometimes I think people on here are more interested in fighting than actually trying to learn. Guys come to complain about women being picky, or about how being 5'7" makes them feel they should stop trying because they can't be 7'8" SuperChad. Girls come to complain about how men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting, venting on how they've been pumped and dumped, or treated as bangmaids. Both groups always propose some fantasy societal shift where one gender needs to magically change…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:51 PM
97

It's not a gendered thing, there are just people who are particularly sensitive to rejection. Guy asks girl out, gets rejected: "Fuck you, bitch. I wasn't into you anyway, fat whore." He's lashing out against the girl who bruised his ego, trying to bruise hers back. Girl gets rejected or broken up with, then gossips about his small dick and how supposedly abusive and manipulative he is. This is just unconscious behavior in people with a fragile sense of self-esteem, trying to nurse their bruised…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:05 PM
22

Yeah, I do. My favourite part of a relationship starts after the honeymoon phase has ended. That sense of comfort, stability, and mutual respect just enhances every aspect of life, and there's a kind of romance there that isn't just superficially based on attraction. I don't really like that exciting, thrilling, initial attraction stage. It's too emotionally chaotic for me to attach to properly, and I end up seeing it as a fun game of sorts, instead of a way of bonding.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 11:28 AM
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