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Apprehensive_Walk_48 Archive

View 0 posts and 28 comments by Apprehensive_Walk_48 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Don't step away from the kids. They're kids and they're still learning. You're Dad forever, and that means that you have to put up with this kind of shit sometimes. Don't listen to anyone that encourages you to step away from them. That's not what parents do. You just have to be more diligent about your expectations of reciprocal treatment from them. Teach them what you want from them. Your daughter specifically...girls can be really nasty when they're teenagers. She won't appreciate everything …
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 12:54 PM
1

You can take out a loan against the house that is equal to her half of the equity. It'll raise your mortgage though.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 04:48 AM
1

Yeah
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:19 PM
2

A lot of idiots responding in here. Sorry on their behalf. Yes it's weird that he wants to be in the chat. The chat is clearly just for your family, which he is not a part of. Your wife, who is your kid's stepmother is clearly a part of the family and is in no way an arguable addition to the chat. She is one of the parents, which makes complete sense. Stand your ground and just don't include him from the chat about your family. He just dating, he's not one of the parents. There is no reason for …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:18 PM
1

That's fair to say, but I wouldn't call it a silver lining. Learning that it is a necessity to be fearful of relationships with people is an awful lesson. Fear and anxiety turn into anger. My divorce and the aftermath changed me from a loving, understanding, caring, and happy person into a bitter, intolerant, detached, and angry person. I don't see that changing at any point during the rest of my life, and that's about as silver a lining as there is for me...just knowing that I'll never make tha…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 03:35 AM
12

I wish I knew the amount of people I was going to lose in my life because of the divorce. Losing the house, cars, and money wasn't anywhere near as devastating as the relationships that ended in the aftermath of everything. Close friends, family, and other members of our support system were kind of forced to choose sides after the divorce. I learned a hard lesson in how expendable I was to everyone into which I'd invested my time, love, and energy.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 02:30 AM
18

The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it. I'm divorced so I won't say not to get divorced if that's what you're really wanting for yourself...but it doesn't sound like you've really tried to rekindle the romance, love, and most importantly life-building in your current relationship. Counseling doesn't do the work for you, its just talking to someone. You gotta put in the work and practice of being in a better relationship with your wife. Even when you fall back …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 12:53 AM
6

I went through an eerily similar situation with my ex-wife. No kids, but the rest is the same. She even said that same thing "I have nothing left to give." In hindsight, I should've filed myself the moment that kind of talk started. I shouldn't have left it to her decision. I did everything I was supposed to when she told me she wasn't happy. I tried being more present, and loving. We did marriage counseling. I left my career, and moved states with her. Bought her dream house, and all the other …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 11:10 PM
9

Exactly this... I feel like that if she could do this, every woman is probably going to do the same. It's just not worth it to give that kind of time commitment. I'd rather live alone with my own routines and quirks. Friends with benefits works fine for me. There's no need to build a life with someone again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 10:47 PM
1

I sold it, but it was a weird process. I couldn't get back anywhere near the amount I'd spent on that ring (around 12k). I held onto it for months thinking I was gonna make an effort to sell it for the right price. Then one day it just hit me....I was still trying to find value in my old marriage. That thought was like a light bulb that let out a flood of existentialism. I realized that I needed to let go and stop trying to find value where there was none left. So I drive up the road to the near…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 06:33 PM
6

Great answer, man. I couldnt agree more. It doesn't matter how she feels now. We just move on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 11:45 PM
7

Nice. I hope everything goes great for you, bro. You must've just gotten divorced or are still going through divorce. It feels like that for a bit, but the grief catches up with you eventually. In my case I can't help but wish things worked out better. I miss my house, my lifestyle, my family, my dogs...etc. Life is cool, and I've moved on for the most part, but everything from before will always be on my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 06:35 PM
9

You know...you never truly get over it. You spend the rest of your life mourning that loss.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 06:00 PM
2

Depends on what you mean. I didn't waste any time at all jumping into bed. Literally the day I packed up and said goodbye to my house. I've been steadily having casual friends since then. But that's not really dating right? I haven't wanted to be in any kind of relationship since it all ended, and I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon. So sleeping with someone, easy...right away. Investing in a relationship, not so easy...probably never again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 05:52 PM
1

Don't give her any money. Just go through the legal process and she will get what she "deserves". If you give her half now, then you'll end up giving her another half later. It's really tough, but you have treat everything like a business encounter from now on. Don't do anything without talking to your lawyer first.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 04:00 AM
5

Hey man. I was monkey branched by my ex-wife too. It just sucks. Not much else you can say about it. My sincere advice is to get away from that relationship immediately. It's only going to get worse, so just cut it off asap. Then jump right into everything self-improvement. Lift heavy weights, run, read books, meditate, and throw yourself all-in headfirst to your work. It'll take a bit of time to feel better, and that time of depression is going to pass no matter what. So its gonna be best to co…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 03:55 AM
1

Yeah man. Go have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 06:25 PM
2

The policy copy she gave you shouldn't be "shady." You're right to worry. Call her bluff...tell her your lawyer said that it's not the right document and that she needs to give you the right one. The policy should very clearly state the plan description, who is the primary insured, the benefit amount, the policy expiration, and the beneficiary info. You should consider asking a lawyer what the repercussions would be if she did violate the agreement to maintain a policy for the 10 years. You need…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 06:20 AM
8

I'd leave the job. With a negative home experience, i wouldnt put up with that kind of shit from work. Start applying elsewhere. You'll find something better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 11:45 PM
2

You don't need to get legally married to be with someone the rest of your life. The key word there is legally. You can still have a wedding and reception. You can exchange rings and change last names. You can still buy a home together. You can have kids, pets, take vacations, and call each other's parents "mom and dad." Being with someone on that level is a really beautiful experience. That part I would do again if I ever end up in the right headspace with the right person. I don't hate women, r…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 04:54 PM
7

Oh man. I wish there was a history of abuse or something like that to fall back on, but for me it was just out of the blue. As far as I knew, we were still a happy married couple. On the day, the ex is eating breakfast with me, then with a smile on her face tells me she is going on a date that night. I was so caught off guard. I flipped and was angrily asking what the f@#! She was talking about. Her response, "Oh I thought you knew that I'm divorcing you." It got way worse over the next week, so…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 11:01 PM
2

I would just say yes to the extra time. Your kids are definitely safer with you than any other situation, and even if it's just your ex taking advantage; if you weren't divorced you'd have your kids all time anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:38 AM
3

That only happens if you don't involve lawyers in the signing process.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 05:27 PM
1

Really? I thought getting them overturned was pretty tough unless you lie about finances. Did you have a prenup overturned?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 03:21 PM
8

I hope you never go through this stuff either, man. Not getting married is the safest way to avoid it, and that's my suggestion to you...don't get married. But if you're going to take the leap, get a Prenuptial agreement. It'll save you from all of the financial shit we all are dealing with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 10:01 AM
2

You just need to talk to lawyer and file before she does. But be prepared, man. You're going to lose a lot. It's going to feel like you've lost everything. There's really no way around it, especially with her not working and having kids. She's going to get at least half of every asset and You're going to pay alimony for at least 4 years. Don't try to hide assets or you'll just lose even more.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 06:31 AM
2

Get a cleaning person to come help out. It's not expensive, it's consistent, and usually does a better job than you guys can anyways. If you spend a little more, they'll do your grocery shopping and cooking too. Set your wife up with a business coach, or a life coach....and be supportive of the process. Then she will have to start putting in effort there, because she will have someone setting goals for her company. I know that's more effort from you, but your situation doesn't exactly sound toxi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 03:41 PM
11

Do NOT compromise: I spent 11 years compromising while trying to be "fair." Often times I would just give up go against my own feelings on whatever the topic/issue was. It never led to anything positive. In hindsight that person just used disagreements to be manipulative in getting her way always. I just regret that I let it all happen. Had I not compromised on my feelings, I wouldn't have wasted so much time with that person. Don't live together: The idea of living together seems great at first…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 02:17 PM
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