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Asizella Archive

View 1 post and 119 comments by Asizella on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
244

MINDSET SHIFTAsizella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
52

Dumbass probably reinfected himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 10:24 AM
30

The selfishness is evident, but you're right -- on deeper reflection this is also someone who seems emotionally unavailable. If considering someone else's needs really makes him anxious and avoidant, he is probably not capable of building emotional intimacy based on mutual respect and give-and-take. He will just take and disappear for awhile until he wants to take more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 08:26 AM
58

Should've been like "okay! i have a herpes outbreak but that shouldn't be a problem, right?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:53 AM
56

I think this is where a lot of the women in ddlg come from. They were a victim of CSA or became sexualized somehow at a young age, like watching porn. Those formative experiences can condition your brain to get turned on when you think of yourself as a child, as weird as it sounds, because that's when your sexual experiences started. Then along comes a man who also gets turned thinking of you as a child (because he's a pedophile obviously) and a ddlg relationship is born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:25 AM
37

Dolly Parton is received well for her philanthropy. She also constantly calls herself "trash" and men friggin love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:02 AM
113

It's hilariously sad how often they project. "Women need men! You're going to die alone!" No, men need women. We're the ones who continue humanity. I'm not scared of dying alone, but you seem to think it's a big deal. "You're crazy, lonely and desperate for a man because you (checks notes) foster kids!!" No... But is that the only scenario where you could envision yourself doing the same? Because of a woman, or lack thereof? I guess when you don't see women as humans, their motives can be baffli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:35 AM
48

The first post is really the elephant in the room that the ddlg community doesn't want to address. If you condition your brain to get turned on by childish looks and children's things, what happens when you are literally around children and their belongings? You're going to get turned on. You're literally turning yourself into a pedophile, if you weren't one before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:18 AM
28

The other day I had a Lyft driver who told me that it was hard dating these days, because women don't seem to want to watch his kids while he and his baby mama go to work. Don't they understand that his kids always come first? It was so hard not to laugh. Sir, that's a babysitter. You want a babysitter for free who you can also fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 11:29 AM
38

I (was) 100% committed to co-parenting with his ex for the kids. Well, I would say the kids are likely not going to benefit from bonding with her and her being in their life and then suddenly disappearing. I feel sad for them. Don't commit 100% to co-parenting someone's kids unless they are 100% committed to you first. Don't do things a wife would do if you're not his wife. Later that night Im coming back to the kitchen from the bathroom hearing him say "You look amazing. I wish I was still here…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 06:34 AM
143

Well it's perfectly possible for you to get turned on by a man visually, and not want dick pics, even from him. After all the unwanted dick pics I've gotten over the years, I'd be happy never getting another. Lol. I do think it's social conditioning. Men are expected to objectify women, while women are expected to look past men's physical faults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 08:41 AM
52

Both birds and humans require a long development period (childhood) during which they need protection -- birds because they develop in eggs, and humans because our brains require a long time to develop. It's speculated that may be the reason both humans and many species of birds form partnerships, often for their lifetimes, which is relatively rare in the animal kingdom. It's more common for the male to basically be a sperm donor, and otherwise considered a drain on resources or source of danger…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 08:17 AM
378

This comment killed me: And when he finishes sowing those wild oats, breaks up with her, and settles down with someone he considers more respectable his mom will have a physical reminder of his ex, which he probably won’t be thrilled about if he has these attitudes towards the current women in his life. 😂 Now that's some karma
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:10 AM
117

When the stories of Hugh Hefner's abuse really started getting press, the top comments on Reddit were all like "wow, who would've thought a guy who built his empire on the bodies of naked women was up to shady sex stuff?" Very unsurprised. Men knew all along this stuff was probably going on, they just didn't care. The press didn't care, until it did -- I read Holly's book when it came out and she describes becoming suicidal under Hefner's abuse. But at the time, she was smeared as a jealous, gre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:33 PM
3

Just looked that up because I was curious. Seems like that way of thinking really benefits men and capitalism, at the expense of women. "Keep the man happy so the company runs smoothly!" Lol no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:11 PM
18

Also, how tedious would it be to have to type out or say "men (but not all men!)" every single time you wanted to discuss women's issues? I feel like that's pretty well implied. # notallmen seems like deliberate derailment. Similar to # alllivesmatter. Like, yeah, they do, sure, kinda thought that was implied, but that's not what we're talking about right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 12:48 AM
21

It's not us, it's the patriarchy convincing women to put men's feelings before their own well-being, as per usual. The root of individual misandry is widespread societal misogyny and abuse. What's great about sociology is numbers don't lie, and domestic violence statistics paint a vivid picture of an epidemic of violence against women. Men will shame you for putting your safety first because they're stuck in the defensive mode of, "well, I never did (insert misogynistic act here), so..." They do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 11:58 PM
63

Totally right. I think the message of the OP is worth repeating for women, though. Many women are convinced not to listen to FDS-type principles because they don't want to be seen as "misandrist," when really the goal is just to protect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:30 PM
21

I'm not who you replied to, but I believe she's referencing the UK Health Security Agency 2021 HIV report, which lists the number of new HIV diagnoses in gay and bisexual men in the UK in 2020 as 940 (page 25), and the number of new diagnoses for heterosexual people as 1,010 (page 30). What makes the number of new diagnoses among heterosexuals passing gay and bisexual men even more significant is that HIV testing among heterosexuals during 2020 fell by 33% because of the pandemic, compared to a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:29 PM
84

That edit is suspicious. First of all, who goes to a hospital for an STI test? Secondly, what healthcare provider is going to order just an HIV test no questions asked? They would have a discussion with you without a doubt, because if you're concerned about HIV you should be concerned about other STIs, and if you're not, you need to be educated. Some interesting comments from the original post: https://i.imgur.com/QM17r65.png
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 10:39 AM
54

Projection as usual. Men need women because we have the wombs. We are free to choose who we want to have access to it, or if anyone does at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 07:34 AM
7

Googled it and you're right, good lord. I listened to Grimes' music when Oblivion came out (10 years ago wow) and her life sure has taken a weird turn since then. What's up with celebrities birthing 1 child and using surrogates for the rest, but only announcing the surrogate children after the birth happens? Is it normal to keep surrogate pregnancies secret? It all seems really weird to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 10:26 AM
9

My family of origin was messed up in a lot of ways but I was never once made to feel less than because I was born a girl. I never once heard either of my parents express disappointment that their firstborn child (me) was a girl. Hmm, same here (though I'm the youngest of 3 girls). Something to be grateful for that I never gave much thought to before. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:20 AM
315

I always felt I was putting on a performance during sex with men. Even when the guy was purely giving me attention, it was always more about him stroking his ego and confirming to himself that he's "good at sex" than caring about me or my experience. If I didn't orgasm, they took it personally and got frustrated or sad. So now I'm in charge of making him cum, and making me cum, or faking it, or being honest and having to soothe his bruised ego... I'm getting nothing out of this except being stre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:40 AM
25

I would assume it's a coping mechanism, yeah. They don't want to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason, because that means it could happen to them too, and that's scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 03:17 AM
35

Yes! How are you gonna be socialist/fight for the working class, then turn around and support "sex work"? Those two are not compatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 07:25 PM
136

I used to try and pay 50/50 even after the guy offered to pay the full bill 🤡 I guess I thought it would garner me respect, but strangely enough it just seemed to attract men who sensed I was easy to take advantage of and eager to please 🤡🤡🤡 RIP bell hooks, she was one of the first feminist authors I started reading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 05:46 AM
44

Real talk. You don't owe anyone a chance. You need to protect yourself. Mentally ill men are much more dangerous than mentally ill women on average. If you have mental illness yourself, it's even more important to have a partner who's stable. Doesn't help that so many mentally ill men choose not to seek help or take their meds, like Kanye. I'm seriously rolling my eyes that Kim went from a guy with bipolar disorder to a guy with borderline personality disorder. Find someone without mental illnes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 10:30 PM
7

It's not that he doesn't like the pictures. He probably thinks they're objectively sexy. It's that he doesn't like thinking you're the "type of girl" who would take and send nude pictures to anyone, including him. (In his mind, you might as well be sending them to other people if you're taking them at all.) To him, that "devalues" you. It puts you on the same level as the Instagram models, which is to say, also the same level as the porn actresses in the porn he watches: a sex object. They're se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 04:48 AM
30

I'm pessimistic enough to be extremely hesitant to have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:05 AM
332

Absolutely spot-on. Kanye has already normalized his own abnormal behavior so people are used to laughing it off as his typical "zaniness," or a publicity stunt, or just saying "well he's bipolar" and leaving it at that. Yeah it's not his fault he has mental illness but it is his responsibility to manage, and he's choosing not to take his meds or do the work in therapy. Kanye needs to be held accountable by his peers. Let's see more of this. Edit: after reading the other comments lol yeah his la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:37 AM
3

But I think if you go back to the FDS Handbook, your question is a variation of a Bob the Builder type scenario. As women, we are not builders, we don’t date a man because we see their potential, we date them fully formed and self actualized. I agree with this. Sure, it's possible to change. Anything's possible. That doesn't mean I have to give him a chance. So does it matter? It's highly unlikely any one individual LVM is going to be in that, like, .005% of LVM that manage to level up to HVM. N…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 03:45 AM
210

This is the exact plot of a Seinfeld episode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 08:58 PM
66

Yes! Human brains are supposed to release oxytocin to bond partners together during sex. Porn trains your brain to bypass that. That's why it's more accurate to say these men are using female bodies to masturbate. Their brain only recognizes an object in that moment, not a human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:41 AM
73

The women his own age aren't going to stick around and post on Reddit asking what she's doing wrong, they're getting the hell out because they know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 01:40 AM
19

Well geez, if you'd just sold him the weed, maybe he would have calmed down. /s When I get customers like that, I tend to awkwardly pause and try not to laugh in this manner that makes it clear I think they're embarrassing themselves. Because they are. And I use humor as a coping mechanism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 06:12 AM
47

Hey that's a great point. Solid vetting strategy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 03:34 AM
58

This is what I don't understand about liberal feminism and BDSM. They recognize that coercion affects consent and can be considered rape. They recognize that when someone is in a position of power over another, it affects consent and can be considered rape. But put in the context of BDSM, that just flies out the window apparently. Anyone who pushes boundaries is not a real Dom and should just learn better practices. It becomes a No True Scotsman situation that allows everyone to look the other w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 04:49 AM
33

Aren't all holidays made up? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 03:59 AM
31

The year after??? Lol I doubt a scrote's ability to plan that far ahead and follow through. He probably took her to McDonalds because he didn't give a shit, and came up with this "explanation" a year later to save face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 03:58 AM
1

The BDSM scene knows this and is using this information to attract trauma victims. I was told that BDSM was a common and healthy way to cope with sexual trauma, because you can re-experience your trauma but in control this time. Looking back I never felt like I was truly in control, and I was just re-traumatized. I'm working my way through "The Body Keeps the Score" right now and while I'm not to the parts yet that talk about how trauma is treated, from what I've picked up so far, confronting yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:24 AM
18

This is something I thought about all the time, even before I found FDS. How is anyone supposed to be able to keep a kid safe and non-traumatized in this technological age? I was probably part of the first generation who had access to the internet and could google porn as young as age 7. And I did, and it fucked me up. You just can't perfectly police a kid's internet usage when everyone has a smart phone. And children are curious, that's not their fault. But now somehow it's become normalized fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 02:54 AM
27

This type of messaging is dangerous. It reminds me of a concept called "learned helplessness" that's seen in abusive relationships, where the victim is convinced that they have no control over the situation and gives up trying to leave. One of the ways my ex convinced me not to leave was by telling me I'd end up homeless if he wasn't there to "take care" of me financially (spoiler alert, he actually financially abused me). I'd escape the house after being beaten, turn around and walk right back …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:32 AM
57

I'm laughing because my two main thoughts while reading this were 1) how is he two heights? He's obviously fudging the number from the get-go and 2) if height is that important to her then there's no way she wouldn't have noticed the height change herself, so this is fiction I go to the comments and everyone else thought the same shit 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:04 AM
88

I just learned a couple of hours ago about how Brooke Shields was photographed completely nude and wearing heavy makeup, posing in a bathtub, at age TEN in the mid-70's and it was published in Playboy's Sugar and Spice magazine. (Years later she sued to prevent their further use and lost. The photos were exhibited in museums as recently as 2009.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Gross#Brooke_Shields_photograph_controversy ???? This is child porn. Baffling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 07:18 AM
10

Another reason to choose cats over scrotes, at least cats bathe themselves regularly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 04:19 AM
67

Sex is biologically wired to create feelings of intimacy and bonding in us, as far as science can tell. It's the same chemicals released in our brains when we give birth, to bond us and the baby. I think that men just rewire their brains through things like porn to view women as objects, overriding that. My theory anyway. ETA: This makes sense when you consider how human relationships came to be this way, evolution-wise. One thing that separates us from most animals is that we have a long develo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 08:41 AM
43

I got the feeling she taking the high road by calling him immature and educating him, like he isn't mature enough to realize one's reaction to a woman's birthday shouldn't be "hurr durr, how old? u OLD!" Yeah right... It's clear from his last response that he was negging, trying to put her down. Lol let's treat him like the child he wants to act like. Then- have a great night, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 08:16 AM
35

Do you have transcripts for the podcast on Patreon? I have an auditory processing disorder that makes it difficult for me to follow podcasts, but I don't want to miss out on the content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 08:02 AM
113

And it's actually easier to date casually this way if you refrain from casual sex, because sex creates intimacy and bonding, which you don't want if you're trying to avoid tying yourself down to one guy too fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 07:47 AM
15

This weirdly reminds me of a Germaine Greer quote: If you think you are emancipated, you might consider the idea of tasting your own menstrual blood - if it makes you sick, you've got a long way to go, baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 07:15 AM
149

And the comments are always like "ladies, don't feel insecure, it's not because you're unattractive to us!" Lmao well I'm not insecure, but maybe you should be 'cause that's not normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 07:10 AM
17

I was actually just thinking about the "Internet is for Porn" song from Avenue Q the other day. I discovered that musical and song when I was in middle school and barely knew what porn was. It convinced me at a young age to accept porn as normal and think of its detractors as lame, out-of-touch prudes (like Kate Monster is kind of portrayed in the song).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 01:26 AM
27

I was struck by the cartoon depicting suffragettes as unmarried at age 40 and 50, implying that they'll never get a man and die alone (gasp!)... which is the #1 thing men say to try and scare the women on this very sub into being more submissive alllllll the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 11:48 PM
91

Anyway, choosing not to block because it makes you seem bothered = you still basing your decisions on the mental state of a man who you supposedly aren't keeping in your life anymore. What's powerful is doing whatever you have to to disentangle yourself, without respect to how it looks or feels to him. This is exactly it. Who cares if it gives him satisfaction. I don't concern myself with what individual LVM think or feel, I just want them to leave me alone. The girl in the OP hasn't figured out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:39 PM
42

And doesn't needing adrenaline to cum kinda imply he'll need more and ever-increasingly depraved acts to get the job done? That's what porn addiction does. If she gave in, it wouldn't end there, he'd just come up with more gross shit he wants her to do. Eta: you know what else is probably adrenaline filled? Infidelity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:50 AM
29

I just binged 30 Rock and, oh boy. For someone who touts herself as a feminist, Tina Fey wrote a whole lot of misogyny into that show. I'm guessing I'm not the first to think that, because there's even an episode making fun of people who think they're misogynistic called "TGS Hates Women."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 01:34 AM
35

It's not Stockholm Syndrome, it's just part of the cycle of abuse. The abuser manipulates his victim into bonding with him and essentially brainwashes her into staying. She believes she has no one else (or no one else would want her) and she needs him to take care of her or vice versa. He also might restrict her freedom financially, or threaten her to get her to stay. On average, it takes a battered woman 7 times of trying to leave her batterer before she is successful. I sent my abuser to jail …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 07:01 PM
216

"Gamer" men act like life is literally a video game, and if they could just figure out the right combination of dialogue options they can unlock sex with you. It's pathetic. The second I stopped trying to make male friends and focused on building female friendships instead, especially in that arena, I became so much happier not having to deal with all that craziness and feeling worthless, like the only thing I was good for was my genitals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 06:48 PM
90

Why are they calling it victim blaming if sex workers are empowered and not victims? Kinda telling on themselves there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 06:16 AM
36

Narcissists will also go to therapy and learn how to be a better/sneakier abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:51 AM
7

It has never gone well for me when I've reconnected with and dated men I knew back in high school. They always admit that they had a crush on me but never had the courage to say anything. In retrospect it's obvious that infatuation turned into this idealized version of me in their head they held onto for years that I felt pressured to (and always eventually failed to) live up to. This guy seems like he didn't see you as a person, just a trophy on a pedestal that he didn't know what to do with on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:18 AM
148

I have a coworker who chose to have a baby (like, went off birth control to get pregnant) with her boyfriend that won't marry her. How he convinced her his "commitment issues" extend to marriage but not having a friggin baby, I'll never figure out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:21 AM
3

This had always been my issue with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I'm relieved to see I'm not alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 02:13 AM
22

Object permanence can be hard for babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:43 PM
69

That's funny to me, because didn't it used to be the standard for women to go out with different guys before committing to one for marriage, like in the 50's and 60's at least? I wonder how and why it changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 03:09 AM
322

On the flip side, my pickme former self used to gush over "guys that can cook," when really it was more like, know how to make 1 mediocre meal and do so only once in a blue moon when they want to get laid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:30 AM
77

Old me was like, I'm a feminist, but not one of those wacky radical feminists of course Hahahaha wtf did I even think radfem was?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 03:18 AM
10

First of all, good for you for calling him out on his BS and not giving in to his gaslighting. You stood up for yourself and that's awesome. If you've read the handbook, you should know that we're probably going to tell you that you shouldn't move in with a boyfriend at all, and need to vet more thoroughly (and never stop). You've given some reasoning in the comments as to why you moved too fast here, but I wonder if there is a deeper reason. Were you acting from a place of loneliness, or anxiou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 03:32 AM
3

I never understood "identifying" as poly. Being in a polyamorous relationship, I get that, but what does it really mean to label yourself as "poly" outside of your current attachments? I've encounter single "poly" people who treat it as a sexual orientation. Can anyone explain this to me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 11:10 PM
2

If a guy gets into your pants, he should just be happy to be there. Obviously, expecting someone to go down on you when your pubes are reminiscent of Don King's head isn't very "courteous," but if we're talking about short trimmed hair vs waxing everything bald... I think the idea is that if you vet men well enough during dating, you're able to weed out the pornsick, misogynistic men who would be sickened by normal body hair before you get to the level where you'd have sex with them. As other co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:48 PM
31

It really makes me happy to see that younger women are subscribing. So many of us only found a FDS after years of heartbreak and abuse; I hope you and others can build a solid foundation of personal standards and practices to start off on and hopefully avoid the many traumas that we've learned the hard way accompany pickme behaviors. ETA: Happy almost birthday! 🎉🎉🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 09:30 PM
242

I'm curious about whether you two had talked about porn usage before this or if it never came up. Porn usage is so ubiquitous and easy to lie about, really makes me dread trying to date men again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 06:51 AM
5

Giving up on all men is giving power to lvm. I like this perspective. I've been feeling very negative about all men lately. Thank you for posting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 06:33 AM
26

Props on teaching your son. My mom was a single (divorced) mom while I was growing up, and she did a lot of home improvement. She loved being able to learn how to do things herself, and it showed me that I didn't need a man to do those things for me either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 06:12 AM
31

You'd hope, but there's always dick pills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:30 AM
41

Meeting a friend's cat for the first time, it being friendly and affectionate, and your friend saying "oh wow, she's not usually that friendly with strangers," has to be one of the top 5 greatest feelings of all time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:16 AM
34

Outside of dating, if anyone told me their favorite restaurant was Applebees, I'd think they were a psychopath. Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 06:11 PM
20

I've seen comments about her being mentally ill and abusing HIM. It makes me sick to my stomach. He fucking killed her and people still buy his "I'm the victim" act? WTF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:07 AM
18

I have no words. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 08:05 PM
25

FYI if you live in the US, he can't just kick you out of the place you live. Even if you're not on the lease or deed, you have tenant's rights. The police should back you up on this, if need be. Do you have possessions there? Get mail delivered there? Then you can prove you live there, and he (or the landlord) have to start a formal eviction process. The way he's acting now is giving me abuse vibes. Please stay safe and get out of there ASAP. Consider researching local women's shelters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 08:26 AM
30

Same here. I'm probably just going to buy myself a ring to celebrate if my life is where I want it to be by next year, lol. We'll get there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:47 PM
76

A scrote would invite you to share his nest 🤢😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:42 PM
26

I met a woman a few months ago who has an OF and she, unprompted, told me I have "the look for it" because I look younger than my age, tried to convince me it'd be easy money, and offered to help me set up my own account. It gave me this weird feeling like she only wanted me to agree to the idea so she could feel more accepted doing it herself. It made me sad because she had a lot of personal problems and struggled with opiate addiction. And I realized a lot of grooming is done by women themselv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:01 AM
8

What does your gratitude prayer sound like, if I may ask? Sounds like something that would be great for me to start doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 12:21 AM
12

SAME. It's so peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:09 PM
83

They straight up admit their kids stink, wtf? This reminds me of when Matthew McConaughey admitted he doesn't use antiperspirant. Even "hot" famous guys can have horrific hygiene I guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:38 PM
19

boogers in the bed, and poop crumbs between the sheets. Poop... crumbs? Oh lord. I want to ask for links but I also don't
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:34 PM
6

Thank you for posting this, very helpful <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:50 AM
11

I just had a very similar thing happen to me, weird. My boss later took me aside and assured me he backed me no matter what and made some changes, and I finally felt validated. You should never have to put up with bs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:49 AM
17

Is that why Mary Tyler Moore sounded so raspy in her later years? On her earlier sitcoms her voice is much higher. I've been wondering about that lately since I finished watching the Dick Van Dyke show. She smoked heavily for awhile too though, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:44 PM
15

I think I'd like to get to know Satan. Sounds like a HVM tbh. Reminds me a of a few weeks ago when there was a discussion in the comments of some FDS post about Lilith being the OG HVW for leaving Adam and his bullshit behind immediately
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:29 PM
35

there is no such thing as a man who is “just” emotionally/verbally/financially abusive. just a man who is emotionally/verbally/financially abusive and hasn’t hit you yet. YES. Came here to post something to this effect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:39 AM
8

I love reading these comments, they're so motivating. I'm picking up the pieces and trying to rebuild my life from nothing right now after a NVM experience helped nearly destroy it, and I know I can get to where many of you ladies are if I work hard and focus on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:28 AM
12

The only exception is non abusive narcissists who are diagnosed and in therapy. This is pretty rare, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:24 AM
22

Yes, I was hoping someone would mention PTSD. From what I understand, C-PTSD (complex PTSD, which results from repeated and sustained abuse vs. one singular incident) can look very similar to borderline personality disorder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:07 AM
3

Okay, your comment actually makes me feel better. Because I can to totally see him being the kind of guy that can't stay of of jail or prison from now on. And I've been implementing or keeping in mind everything you just listed already. And I live in a medium sized city too. Thank you. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:15 AM
64

That's exactly what C-PTSD in general feels like. :( Your abuser killed who you used to be. You will never be that same person again. You end up having to grieve the death of the person you used to be. And it hurts so much for me, I can only try to imagine how it would feel for this woman. Unimaginable regret and despair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:41 AM
7

I'm glad you got away. I almost feel jealous. My ex went to prison for 2 years, but he's due to be released soon. He's not bright and has no way to track me, but even being in the same city is making me an anxious mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:04 AM
77

That doesn't surprise me at all. If I hadn't escaped my ex when I did, I'm 100% certain he would have killed me. ...mostly because he told me he would, and even where he'd dump my body afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:13 PM
33

Jesus Christ. It's heartbreaking that I know exactly what she means, because it happened to me too. There's nothing quite like being choked until your vision fades, and being weirdly at peace with death, 'cause like, damn, at least then this nightmare will end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:12 PM
10

Yeah, fuck us I guess, right? Side note, the mods here are absolute saints for protecting us from that toxic bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:47 PM
6

The sunshine thing is linked to vitamin D, which we all could probably use a bit more of right now! And a deficiency can make you depressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:59 PM
14

This stuff makes me so angry. This sub is seriously saving my life. I don't understand what's so terrible about FDS. If it's not for you, why can't you just leave us alone, at least? Like, damn. This is the only place I feel safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:50 PM
7

Thank you. The fallout ended up being pretty brutal. My "best friend" found it more convenient to stay in denial, believe that it was consensual, and blame it all on me. It was easier than facing reality, which would have meant leaving her husband. But they had a 10 year old son together, so she refused to ever consider that an option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:09 AM
6

They don't even think to put trashcans in their bathrooms, lmao. Men are shitty roommates. Even (especially) when you're dating them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:12 PM
3

They're honestly really helpful! At this point, I have plenty of personal LVM examples, haha. It's so useful to get real-world examples of HVM behavior. 'Cause I'm not used to that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:16 PM
4

Thank you for sharing your green flag examples! I love these sort of posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:54 PM
13

Yes. I escaped an abusive relationship after an ex went to prison for breaking my ribs and kidnapping me... and I still would sit and cry for weeks afterward, some part of me desperately hoping he could still be there to "take care of me." I knew that was irrational to the point of insanity, but I couldn't help but feel that loss. Edit: I had even filed a restraining order against him the very next day after he was arrested, and I still felt this weird yearning. It wasn't until I read about trau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:40 PM
42

Yep... I also learned this the hard way when my former best friend's husband (who I trusted a great deal) broke into my house and raped me, because he knew I was drunk and lived alone, and knew how to get in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:29 PM
41

I'm honestly jealous that you've never lived with a man, lol. Every time for me, it was a terrible experience where I was the only one doing anything or communicating about basic roommate stuff at all. If I can't live alone, it's probably going to be only women as roommates from now on (unless by some miracle I marry a HVM).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:16 PM
39

I'm exhausted thinking about the number of times I've told men this exact same thing, with their response always being dumbfounded, then followed with defensive comments about how they're not that "kind of guy." Making it about him and completely missing the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 04:02 AM
1

That's exactly what I thought when I watched Sonia Sotomayor swear in Kamala Harris; I wish RBG could see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:47 PM
3

Your comment hit me so hard I'm not completely sure whether you're like an ex of mine trolling me. Pretty much everything you said has been true for me. After reading this comment, I'm thinking the exact same thing. Hahaha. I thought I couldn't talk to a guy without him falling for me. I felt like I had some magic powers. Guys were so obsessed. Exactly. Wow. Yes. It seems insane now... but this is exactly what it feels like. I even got a couple boyfriends by accident because they were pushy and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:58 PM
13

"No" is a complete sentence! 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:32 PM
4

I LOVE these green flag posts. A lot. Does anyone know of a sub or site that has these sort of posts? (Probably too specific but thought I'd try)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:22 PM
31

She's a legend. I believe researching her for a paper is how I learned about COINTELPRO several years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:17 PM
4

I have less social media than my peers; I've personally never had a twitter or Instagram. In the post I'm referring to random males who have specifically found my Facebook profile, though mutual friends, I guess(?) I think the privacy settings were set to "friends of friends." I haven't been on in months tbh. It's just not worth the stress. 95% of my experience was horny strangers and random drama. I'm 28. I have no interest in that shit anymore. Edit: It just seems so strange and creepy that me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:59 PM
13

"Men who cannot let go, choose women who cannot say no," and boy that hit like a bag a bricks. Oh boy. That's relatable. Maybe my 2021 new years resolution should be being able to say "no" with no guilt, lol. All that to say is: you're going to keep having light bulbs go off and learning about yourself. Some of it may be uncomfortable. But once you know yourself, oh my god, your path becomes one thousand times clearer. I'm counting on it. I've been dealing with narcissists my entire life, and so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:55 PM
20

Thank you so much for your reply. It definitely feels to me that boundaries and self acceptance are key, at least for me right now. This is a note I wrote to myself, just before writing this post: Objectivity, mindfulness, and radical self-acceptance. Focus on these. Focus on yourself. Read further on /r/FemaleDatingStrategy wiki. Start a journal. Please start somewhere. You can't spend forever in purgatory. Use your logic and rationalism. Forgive yourself. And please be kind to yourself. You de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:33 PM
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