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AssOfTheSameOldMule Archive

View 0 posts and 535 comments by AssOfTheSameOldMule on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Vocabulary and other speech patterns tell you a lot. Someone who uses a lot of slang or casual profanity, or who tries to sound sultry or hypermasculine (cringe!), speaks in monotone, or who speaks inappropriately for the situation (too quiet, too loud, too fast) - all those things give off very different vibes than someone who uses plain polite language, enunciates normally, and uses a tone, pace, and volume that are appropriate for the situation. Excessive slang and profanity suggest low educa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:29 PM
1

Dafuq.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 03:18 AM
6

I have always thought that the Western paradigm of marriage is all wrong. We expect our spouse to be a whole community: Best friend, constant companion for everything from running errands to vacations, roommate, co-manager of the house and finances, co-parent, cheerleader, therapist, caregiver, and of course we expect hot steamy sex several times a week. And with most women working outside the home now, both people’s roles are even more blurry. Everything has to be negotiated from scratch. Don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 02:20 PM
–

Jesus, every fuckin week, I swear. Child support is not some evil plot against men. It is not for the benefit of women or even children usually. It is primarily for the benefit of the TAXPAYER. When one parent fails to financially support their children, the other parent usually has to rely on welfare (a/k/a the taxpayer) to help feed, clothe, and house those children. The main purpose of child support is to reduce this financial burden on the taxpayer. In some cases, a parent has to pay more th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 07:07 AM
9

Thank you, finally somebody said it. There’s free dick all over the place. Women might go long periods without sex and feel sexually frustrated, but ultimately, it’s always voluntary (staying faithful in a long-distance relationship, waiting for LTR, waiting for marriage, etc.). There’s no such thing as a woman who can’t get sex if she wants it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 01:34 AM
1

“Everyone is equal” doesn’t negate the basic logic of supply and demand. Men want women, more than women want men. What else is there to say?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 04:58 PM
0

100%. I totally get it. Masculinity is very attractive to me, too, and I’m very happy being feminine myself, too. Good on you for breaking the mold and proudly embracing it as a guy. A lot of guys are uncomfortable being in the feminine role so I’m glad my masculine sisters can get some love from you. And your masculine brothers will get all the love from me. Everybody wins!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 04:04 AM
3

You’re 100% right
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 03:51 AM
3

I have no idea what you’re trying to communicate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:33 AM
1

Of course. If it’s obvious we’re a bad match before anything even starts, why would I go out of my way to waste both of our time? Don’t get me wrong. If I have a crush on a guy, I’m not exactly gonna run away & hide from him. I’ll make myself available and be receptive if he tries to make something happen. But if he doesn’t try, he becomes undesirable to me. If you have a crush on someone at first and then it disappears, you’re not gonna pursue them after that. You just kinda mentally move on wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:31 AM
-1

Nope. Gender socialization is a thing. I’m not saying whether it’s good or bad. But it’s definitely a real thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 09:41 PM
-1

Yep, we’re both comfortable embracing our femininity & being swept off our feet by people who are more masculine than us! Hope you find the manly woman of your dreams.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 08:40 PM
0

If a man is sufficiently interested in me, confident in himself, and has basic social skills, then he’ll take the lead in pursuing. I like men like that. I like men who get what they want in life or at least try. It’s attractive. If a man isn’t pursuing me, that means he lacks interest (yuck), and/or confidence (yuck), and/or basic social skills (yuck). It would be stupid to pursue a guy who isn’t pursuing me. By definition, he doesn’t really like me and/or he has serious issues. Pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 06:59 PM
22

Uhhhh babe, this already exists, lmaoooooo. Assuming you’re in the U.S., you literally already live in your fetish utopia of “feminine energy”. There are PLENTY of women and girls who take full advantage of their peak fertility years, having lots of babies in their teens and 20s, raising their babies instead of going to school or working, and receiving government financial assistance. They are mostly black and brown. Men usually refer to them using the insulting term “Welfare Queen”. You wrote a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:04 PM
0

Yeah no. If we’re talking long term benefits for society, we should be encouraging paternity fraud any way we can. Also, paternity tests are like $20. If you have doubts and don’t want to set off a nuke, just do the test discreetly. I cannot understand what the big deal is. Child support orders aren’t for the benefit of the child or the mother. They’re for the taxpayer. When fathers don’t contribute, mothers and children are very likely to end up on government assistance. In other words, the tax…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 04:13 AM
1

“No” means “no”. Even a socially gracious “no” means “no”. Even a “no” without reasons means “no”. Men understand “no” perfectly well. They just like to pretend they think “no” secretly means “convince me” when it comes from an attractive woman. It doesn’t. Imagine a male coworker asked you to hang out and you didn’t want to, because you find him annoying. You probably wouldn’t say, “No, because you’re annoying. Convince me you won’t be annoying anymore, so I can say yes and mean it.” You’d prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 08:18 AM
1

The correct analogy would be: As a recruiter, does it make more sense to pursue candidates who already have jobs, or candidates who explicitly say they don’t wanna work for you for XYZ reasons? The obvious answer is neither. But most “recruiters” don’t back off when we give XYZ reasons for declining the “job offer”. Most seem to interpret it as an invitation to argue that XYZ reasons are wrong and invalid. (This is actually what y’all do. In real life. With straight faces.) Hence we should disca…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:12 AM
2

So you’re saying if you (yourself) ever feel sexually attracted to a pretty woman who isn’t your gf, you’re obviously disloyal to your gf and she should immediately leave you. Or even if you ever just smile when a pretty woman tells a joke. That’s a pretty low bar for “obvious disloyalty” to me personally, but good on you for having such high standards for your gf’s and yourself. Pretty hardcore. I assume you also hold yourself to those standard, otherwise you’d be hypocritical trash and there’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 04:09 AM
2

I’m a chick who lurks here for amusement and I approve this message. 👍🏼
/r/seduction27/12/23 02:16 PM
9

Facts. I’m dating a much younger guy and letting him do all the sweet talk. He’s got a libido like a rockstar, that’s what this is about for me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:58 AM
–

The point is that they argue everyone over 18 is the same when it comes to them fucking younger women. But they don’t argue everyone over 18 is the same when it comes to literally anything else. It’s disingenuous and deliberately obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:46 AM
1

Like all things in life, it depends. My uncle was aggressively pursued by an aimless, chaotic 20-year-old when he was over 60. He’s not rich or smooth or anything, he’s a super boring old dude. He inherited the house from my grandparents but he has no other assets or money. My gut reaction was that either something was very psychologically wrong with the woman or she was just using him for a place to stay. Turned out to be both. It actually got violent (on her part). He tried to look after her, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:40 AM
–

Ok, plug in the ages you gave in your example then. I’ve never heard a 40-year-old man passionately argue that a 25-year-old woman is his equal except when he’s defending trying to fuck her. Have you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:07 AM
1

Lolwut. The commenter above me questioned why people only say stuff to the older man, not the younger woman. I explained that people do indeed say plenty to the younger woman, just not when the older man is in earshot. The frequency and intensity of the comments, of course, varies.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:03 AM
–

Oh god this reminds me of something that happened to me when I was in college. When I was 19/20, I had a neighbor in his mid-30s who pursued me really aggressively for almost a year. I couldn’t avoid him entirely so I kept it cordial. I always made it clear I wasn’t interested simply because of the age gap - nothing personal. (I knew he was predatory and gross, I was just trying to keep the peace.) At one point I got into a little ongoing flirtation with a different neighbor’s younger brother, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 07:52 AM
–

Exactly. That guy was an abuser, and he knew women his age were more likely to see it early and bounce, so he went after a younger one to exploit her naïveté and lack of life experience. That’s a very common tactic of abusers and we all know it. That’s why an older man pursuing a younger woman is a red flag until proven otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 05:56 AM
–

“Boohoo! The wannabe statutory rapists don’t hit on me anymore! I wish I could land a man who only wants to fuck teenagers! Now I have to settle for a man who’s cool with fucking grown women like me! Gross!” — No woman ever in the history of the world
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 05:46 AM
–

I’ve never heard anyone passionately argue that people in their late teens/early 20s are qualified to hold upper level corporate management roles, to lead global companies, to hold major political offices, or even that they’re qualified to supervise middle-aged adults at work. The only time anyone argues that an 18-year-old high school senior is exactly the same as a 90-year-old retiree, is when an old man is defending trying to fuck young women. The 18th birthday is the arbitrary legal cutoff. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 05:36 AM
–

Do you really think they don’t do both? The older men only hear the comments that are said in their presence, which are usually the comments directed at them. They don’t hear the folks their age cutting them down when they leave the room lol. The second the pervy older man leaves the room, pretty much everyone (the women AND the men) warns the younger woman very seriously to avoid him. “He’s only pretending to care about you so you’ll let him smash, and he only wants to smash because you’re youn…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 04:30 AM
1

Yep, attraction for women is more about charisma than raw appearance. Sorry this happens to you, though!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 05:05 AM
1

An exchange someone is willing to make is not the same thing as an equal exchange. A woman might decide that she’s willing to have sex with a certain guy and undertake the inherent risks, but that doesn’t mean she’s getting as much benefit from the sex that he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 05:03 AM
1

Fact 1: Humans sometimes do things that entail risk. Fact 2: In sex, women undertake more risk than men. Both of these facts are true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:16 PM
5

I think the “jacked” look for men is probably a bit like blond hair and big boobs for women. It’s the stereotypical sexy bombshell look in Western culture and it appeals to most people to some degree, but it’s not a requirement for the opposite sex to find you attractive IRL. Most men find blond women with big boobs attractive, or at least most men don’t find them un-attractive. But IRL, men are also attracted to brunettes, redheads, and women with small or average sized boobs. Same for jacked m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:44 PM
1

So if a man once had sex with a hotter woman than me, he can never bond with me?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:38 PM
1

r/iamverysmart
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:35 PM
3

There’s no way to tell who I might actually like based on photos, but photos are the only real metric on the apps. That’s why I don’t use them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:32 PM
3

I wouldn’t find them hot based on their photos, but I find them hot in real life because of their personality and energy. There’s no way to “change your online dating strategy” to filter for personality and energy. Those things can only be evaluated in person, which is why I don’t use apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:09 PM
2

Money isn’t money. The kind of money that a wage-earning worker spends to take a woman to dinner and shopping, is not the kind of money the gold-digger conversation is about. A gold digger is a woman who intentionally seeks out actually wealthy men to fund a luxury lifestyle. In exchange she uses some of his money to stay hot (beauty treatments, cosmetic surgery, designer clothes, etc.) so he gets to impress other men by having an expensive-looking woman on his arm. A gold digger is just a woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:40 AM
5

You’re referring to oxytocin, which is not an addictive substance. It’s also not a finite resource. Your brain can always make more of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:21 AM
3

Good take. Everybody would like to have sex and/or a relationship with a supermodel. That doesn’t mean everybody who bangs or marries non-supermodels is “settling”. Everybody (who isn’t a psychopath) can be genuinely attracted and fall deeply in love with partners who aren’t the perfect whimsical fantasy ideal. This is just another way men criticize women no matter what we do. If we hold out for the hottest men, we’re evil because we’re not giving average men a chance. If we partner up with aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:19 AM
12

You can’t honestly believe that the average regular old plain Jane walking down the street has banged tons of hot sexy studs and tried but failed to become their girlfriend. Like you just honestly can’t believe that is anything like the average woman’s life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 03:40 AM
30

Oh please. Women swoon over K-pop stars and that Timothy kid. “Tall and jacked” gets pushed by casting directors because that’s what men want to look like, not because that’s what women lust after.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 03:33 AM
16

Agree. If I was on a swiping app and had to pick guys based off a few pictures and a paragraph, I wouldn’t pick guys who are stone-cold bald, have man boobs, stooped shoulders, gapped teeth, gummy smiles, flared nostrils, humpy noses, or who are at my eye level (I’m 5’3”). I wouldn’t pick guys who barely got their GED and haven’t been in a classroom since, or who wear butt-ugly clothes, or who are into video games and trance music. BUT since I’m not on a swiping app and actually meet men in real…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 03:25 AM
2

Yeah I agree, most people probably do best with partners who have a similar experience level with relationships and sex. There’s less chance of one person taking advantage of the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:40 AM
0

But the question wasn’t whether you’d prefer your daughter with a broke man who treats her well or a rich man who treats her badly. The question was whether you’d prefer your daughter with a broke man or a rich man. If you start adding other variables, and basing your answer on your made-up variables, you’re not answering the question. All other factors being equal, which would you prefer for your daughter?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:48 AM
1

Why wouldn’t men be okay with that? I wouldn’t care if some guy had spent more money on an ex, committed to an LTR earlier, introduced her to his family earlier, talked about marriage earlier, etc. I’d just figure I’m a completely different person than his ex, it’s a completely different relationship, he has his own reasons for waiting longer, and not give it a second thought. (If he was delaying something longer than I personally am okay with, then that’s a different issue. But it would be base…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:43 AM
2

Then why do A-list actresses probably spend more on their appearance than anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:12 AM
3

Yeah if you want to date men who make minimum wage, it doesn’t take much to impress them. It is expensive to appeal to higher-SES men, especially if you’re looking for something long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:10 AM
6

It’s not a fair exchange because sex is riskier for women. Pregnancy, STI, rape and sexual assault, bad sex (bad for a wide variety of reasons), rough or degrading sex without consent, being treated poorly after sex, reputational harm — all the risks of sex are mostly incurred by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:07 AM
2

It’s possible for some men, sometimes, to say things for reasons other than getting laid. Not all men, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:02 AM
3

Sure. Anyone can “next” anyone else for any reason, or for no reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:00 AM
3

Yeah if you’re choosing between two specific individuals, sure. But this implies a false dichotomy. Broke men aren’t any more likely to treat a woman well than rich men. Poverty does not equal good character. Wealth does not equal bad character.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:49 AM
2

A man with no gold cannot be robbed of gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:43 AM
5

Women who are that determined to seriously financially exploit men aren’t getting outta bed for a man who makes five figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:36 AM
6

Glad you pointed this out. When I think of “casual sex,” I think of sex with a relative stranger or a peripheral acquaintance at best. I think of impulsive one-night stands that happen with no real forethought or feeling. Masturbation with extra steps, basically. I don’t know many women who have “casual sex” by that definition. But if “casual sex” includes any sex outside of an LTR (including sex with someone you know, trust, and feel comfortable with, such as a friend or an amicable ex), then y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:32 AM
1

Weird, I’m a woman and I typically get more out of my platonic relationships (family, friends, etc.) than my romantic ones. Don’t get me wrong, having a partner can be fun, but it’s never really my main source of fulfillment. Boyfriends are a lot of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:55 PM
6

Hard agree. So many people’s lives revolve around financial stress. Being almost-broke, anxious, and exhausted doesn’t leave people with the resources (emotional and otherwise) to spend their limited free time pursuing romantic relationships. And if they can muster up the energy to start something, they’re probably gonna be shit partners because they’re frazzled and grouchy all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:51 PM
0

Right? Lol “Women don’t want want to date X” =/= “women are obsessed with demonizing X“
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 08:00 PM
1

Yes, exactly, please leave us alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:36 AM
4

Because they told us girls, while you boys were outside playing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:28 AM
2

I’m a conventionally attractive 36F, divorced with no kids, and dudes usually start testing the waters for the marriage conversation about a month into dating. Even the younger ones, which always surprises me. That’s when I pull back since I’m not interested in remarrying. As long as a woman doesn’t get fat and doesn’t get a manly haircut, men will always be trying to lock her down.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 04:50 PM
1

No, why would I?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:31 PM
4

Breaking news: Interest groups protect the interests of their group. In other news, water is wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:24 PM
1

As a woman, I know more about men’s experience than you do. See how stupid that sounds?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:42 PM
1

As a woman, I know more about men’s experience than you do. See how stupid that sounds?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:42 PM
1

Not nice to say you know more about women than women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:36 PM
1

A woman’s description of women’s experience doesn’t change your views about women’s experience? I assume you’re trolling. Nobody could be THAT dense, not even a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:33 PM
1

I’m a woman, bro. Lmaoooooo.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 05:49 PM
1

You know I’m a woman, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 05:47 PM
1

Wrong how?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 02:39 PM
–

They say there are two things you can’t hide in a social setting: A cough and a crush. This goes for both men and women. There’s no single foolproof way to tell, but the most reliable way to tell is if the woman acts differently toward you than she acts toward other people: If she’s usually very confident and outgoing but then gets all blushy and awkward with you, or if she’s usually more shy and reserved but acts bubbly and goofy with you, etc. If she acts differently with you than she does wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:37 PM
1

Are you serious? I’d pay to educate my hypothetical daughter, obviously. If my hypothetical son gets into an abusive marriage, he can always leave and support himself financially, because men can always get a job in unskilled manual labor. I’d rather my son go to college, but he doesn’t need a college degree to escape an abusive marriage and take care of himself if needed (and he’s extremely unlikely to end up in an abusive marriage that actually threatens his physical safety anyway). My hypothe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 06:28 AM
2

True, but you could balance that against 1 in 3 women dying in childbirth, which was the norm before modern medicine. The human pelvis is too small for the size of babies’ heads. It’s an unfortunate byproduct of humans evolving to walk upright. Usually the baby would die too, so if it was the woman’s first, that would mean - strictly speaking - that the woman wasn’t ultimately reproductively successful. Even if the baby survived, it was counting on other adults to raise it, so its chances of dyi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:06 AM
0

That’s fair, I agree with that. I actually don’t fault men for their preferences as long as they follow the law at all times. Personally, I choose to play the game in certain ways: I wear makeup and jewelry, keep long hair, try to stay slim, etc. Not to attract men necessarily, but women are treated a lot more nicely, by everybody, if we look good. I figure fair is fair. I get the luxury of being picky about who I bang, so I don’t gripe about the costs necessary to choose from the best. To each …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 11:37 PM
2

On one hand, I see your point. We get all worked up when people discriminate unfairly in other contexts, like in hiring decisions, rental housing, policing, etc. So I understand why it kinda seems stupid that we don’t feel we can criticize people for their dating preferences. I get where you’re coming from. But I think the difference is that dating involves the highest level of physical intimacy. It’s the only time people are physically entering each other’s bodies and having their bodies being …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 11:25 PM
4

I mean, it is kinda pointless, though. The unhappy fact is that humans have twice as many female ancestors as male ones. Know what that means? That means a whole lot of men never got to reproduce. That’s a good thing. If women had always “paired up with their equals” like you’re suggesting, we’d still be naked and swinging from trees, lol. Here’s a fun fact: Human men have WAY bigger penises than any other primate, both in absolute and relative size. Apparently human women strongly select for la…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 10:44 PM
8

I don’t personally think we should try to change what anyone is attracted to, but I agree with you that it’s more socially acceptable for women to stand by their preferences than men. That doesn’t make women entitled, though. Here’s an analogy: You want to try a cool new expensive restaurant. You go online to make a reservation, but they’re completely booked. You’re bummed. Your friend says you should go to Applebee’s instead. You say no, because if you can’t get into that cool new restaurant, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 10:23 PM
11

Yeah, men don’t realize that women’s rating system is bimodal, rather than a bell curve. We see men as either “maybe” or “no”. There’s not really a middle ground, and there’s very little a guy can do to cross over in either direction. Within the categories of “maybe” and no,” there are different levels, but if a guy doesn’t meet the “maybe” threshold, then it doesn’t matter how big of a “no” he is, because he’s still a “no”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:53 PM
10

What chaos? All the single women I know are pretty happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:46 PM
11

Women aren’t entitled. We want who we want, and if we can’t get the guys we want, we find happiness in being single. That’s the opposite of being entitled. If we felt entitled, we’d hurt or kill men for rejecting us. You know, like men do to us. See r/whenwomenrefuse for a sampling.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:44 PM
11

You’re correct that we’ve made interracial dating more socially acceptable now than it was 70 years ago, and it’s obviously more common now than it used to be. AND YET, we still don’t force anyone to date interracially — or at all — if they don’t want to. We might criticize people who refuse to date certain people just because of their race, but we don’t force them to do it. I personally wouldn’t want someone to be forced to date me if they’re racist against my race. I want a partner who likes, …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:33 PM
1

Think of it this way: Men are like the people who weigh 600 pounds and lay in bed while they gorge themselves on fast food all day every day, and they end up malnourished because they’re not getting any nutrients. Women are like the foodies who wouldn’t be caught dead in a restaurant that serves anything but exotic “tweezer food”, and they end up staying home alone a lot, because there are only so many “tweezer food” restaurants in town. Women criticize men for constantly wanting to eat everythi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 11:41 PM
1

Thank you for sharing this. I really mean that. Reading this moved my spirit in a beautiful way. The love you have for each other really comes through. You should consider publishing a book about your life with her - I would read it. I’m so happy you got to have a love so real. I hope I have a love that real someday. I’m so sorry that she’s not here anymore. For whatever it’s worth, I have had a near death experience, and I can share this: Not only is death not painful or scary or difficult, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:45 AM
1

Lmaooo!! Sign me up 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:11 PM
3

I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you comfortable sharing a special memory you have of her?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:07 PM
9

You sound hot. Props.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:28 PM
5

We can tell the difference. When we hug a guy, if his chin sits comfortably on the top of our head, he’s almost exactly 9” taller than we are. That’s just the height of men’s heads, with pretty little variation. I’m 5’3”, and I know from experience that any guy whose chin rests perfectly on the top of my head when we hug is exactly 6’0”. Just hug him, see where his chin lands on your head/forehead, and do the math. Even just standing near him, you can envision exactly where his chin WOULD land i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:25 PM
95

The male fantasy is to make a tame woman wild, but only for him. The female fantasy is to make a wild man tame, but only for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 06:33 PM
2

No, there’s a difference between having a little novelty fling on vacation, versus what people honestly, genuinely, realistically see themselves marrying. Overwhelmingly, people marry within or near their own SES. Similar backgrounds, life experiences, values, vision for the future, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 04:09 AM
1

Same. Truce?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 05:18 PM
1

Unless you’re too lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 04:42 PM
1

Anywhere in the world that women have the legal, financial, and social freedom to choose whether they marry or not, they choose not to. If you are at a potluck and no one is eating the egg salad, it’s not that everyone is evil and selfish for not liking the egg salad. It’s not that everyone is evil and selfish for taking a few bites, deciding it’s nasty, and discreetly tossing the rest. The egg salad is neglected and thrown away because nobody wants it. It sucks. Only a man would see that situat…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 03:33 AM
6

Thanks! I agree it’s a super underrated factor that should be talked about more. I read guys complaining about women only wanting to date buff drug dealers with tattoos and I’m always like, what the eff are they talking about??? Turns out they’re not delusional, they’re just poor. Makes total sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 02:25 AM
0

If most divorces are initiated by women, doesn’t that tell you women are the ones deciding marriage isn’t worth it? Doesn’t that tell you men are generally much worse partners than women? Doesn’t that tell you women are either happier single or more secure trying again with someone else because of our abundance of options? If Western women are so inferior to women in other parts of the world, and we still don’t find Western men worthwhile… that just tells you everything you need to know about We…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 10:53 PM
12

Good theory. Reminds me of another little societal oddity: You can often tell a person’s SES by what they say makes a good restaurant: Low-SES people focus on portion sizes: They can afford very little, so they want a meal that’ll keep them full for a while (example: fast food) Mid-SES people focus on the taste of the food: They can afford a proper meal out, but it’s not always worth the money (example: sit-down chains) High SES people focus on the aesthetics: The food will obviously taste good,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 10:33 PM
0

More people overall are opting out of dating and marriage. Women will complain about not getting marriage from the men they want, but men are the ones complaining about not even getting attention from any women. Women have the option to settle with a guy who’s just “meh”, but plenty of men don’t even have that. The only men who are opting out by choice are the few who are desirable enough to just bang hot chicks forever. For the rest, they’re not so much “opting out” as giving up, because they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 09:28 PM
2

A man doesn’t get to even seriously consider proposing until a woman chooses him over all the other men vying for her attention, and has kept choosing him for months or years lol. And if a woman expects a proposal and a man doesn’t deliver, she can just boot him and choose some other guy who wants to try to impress her. Men come and go at our leisure, and if we don’t get commitment from the ones we want, we find happiness in being single and free. Men just have no leverage over financially indep…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 08:42 PM
1

Lol women aren’t interested in how men feel about our careers. We don’t have careers to impress men. We have careers so that we don’t need to impress men. We don’t have to shrink into what men want us to be. We can just be ourselves and if a good dude happens to like us, then we can choose whether to let him into our lives and on what terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 07:54 PM
1

There is a spectrum of what constitutes normal and healthy emotional expression. It is wide, but it has limits at both ends. Acting like an insentient brick wall is outside of that spectrum. Acting like a scary abusive prick is also outside of that spectrum. Just. Be. Cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 12:56 AM
1

Guy 3 is an illustration of what I consider doing this perfectly. It’s obviously not the bare minimum or only acceptable way. Honestly cut the crap with the pedantic psuedo intellectual psycho babble. Literally just speak up like a normal person when you want to get something off your chest. You’ll feel better and chicks dig it! Also don’t act like a petulant whiny little shrieking baby about it. That makes you look stupid and pathetic. That’s it! Why is that hard? You’re legitimately frightenin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:56 PM
1

Depends on the context but generally yes. I’ve never yelled at a partner. Never even felt tempted. It’s disrespectful, trashy and embarrassing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:21 PM
1

You’re not “performing” every time you are mindful of being respectful to another person and considerate of their time and energy. You are not “performing” every time you don’t succumb to the urge to behave like a feces-flinging savage. Do you consider men capable of authentically verbalizing feelings without losing control over them? If yes, they should do it, like Guy 3. If no, they should not attempt to form relationships with women because they’ll just endanger her with their genuinely authe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:17 PM
1

My son. What in the absolute fuck are you talking about. The justice system did not let Amber Heard torture Johnny Depp for years. That case had nothing to do with the criminal justice system at all. She wrote an op-ed (basically a personal essay that gets published in a newspaper) saying she had survived domestic violence. She did not mention him by name. He sued her for money, claiming her op-ed had damaged his reputation anyway. He won. Jail was never on the table for either of them. It’s emb…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 09:33 PM
1

I’d think it was the cutest sweetest thing in the world. Something similar comes to mind. I had a boyfriend who was a student. I was taking a nap in my bedroom while he was studying in my living room. While I was asleep, he came into my room and started crawling under the covers with me. I woke up and he looked so sad. I reached out to hug him. We laid on our sides facing each other, he buried his head in my chest, I kissed the top of his head and rested my cheek on it, held him close, caressed …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 06:22 PM
1

Meh. People are mostly dumb and talking out of their asses. No reason you have to abide by their recommendation, right? If one type of therapy isn’t right for you, that doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from any other type. That’s like saying: “I’m having heart palpitations and I’ve read that there are doctors who specialize in heart problems. But when I mention I’m having heart palpitations, all my bonehead friends say to call my regular doctor. My regular doctor can’t fix heart palpitations, so I…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:36 PM
2

Yes, exactly, what we want is for people to express emotions while remaining in control of them. Like Guy 3. That’s a healthy part of being a rational, civilized grownup. I’m not sure why you think only women are rational and logical enough to do that authentically…? Expecting a grown man not to scream and flip his shit every day isn’t expecting him to “perform”. It’s just expecting him to be one degree more civilized than a chimpanzee flinging its feces and beating its chest. Not to act as if h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:07 PM
1

What you’re describing is one very narrow type of therapy: Talk therapy. I agree it’s ineffective for most people most of the time. It’s actually a pretty outdated model, there’s been a shift away from it for decades now. It just doesn’t really do much. There are all kinds of therapies that are a lot more advanced and evidence-based than talk therapy, though. Cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectic behavioral therapy, occupational therapy, schema therapy for personality disorders, somatic therap…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:30 AM
3

Yeah and nobody is getting the ick from a person feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Feelings by themselves do not lead to the ick. The other person isn’t in your head, they don’t even know exactly what you’re feeling until it comes out in your words or actions or both. The tantrum that you choose to have as a result of your feelings is what causes the ick. Actions are under your control. You can choose to act icky or non-icky. Your actions are what give someone the ick or doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:18 AM
5

A man can kill a woman using only his upper body strength. The reverse is not true because a man can restrain a woman, again, using only his upper body strength. That is why an irrationally angry man is much more dangerous to a woman than an irrationally angry woman is to a man. The justice system does not confer women with upper body strength equal to men’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:11 AM
5

So many guys have tried to treat me like a free therapist lol. Trauma dumping and incessant whining =/= being emotionally open.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:01 AM
14

I appreciate this comment. But I think in most cases it comes down to the guy’s interpretation of what it means to express their emotions or be vulnerable or whatever. I try to be a gentle partner when my dude is going through something. I invite them to talk about it, but if they don’t, I don’t push it. I just try to be extra kind and thoughtful until they’re over it. My experiences have been… very mixed. Guy 1: I’d sense he was in a mood and ask if he’s okay, what’s going on, does he want to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 06:52 AM
6

Spoiler alert: They totally do. It’s all projection and poor cognitive empathy, as usual. Boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:39 AM
10

Attraction is not a reward, and loss of attraction is not a punishment. Both are value-neutral. Everyone is free to bail on anyone for any reason or no reason. If men give women the ick more often than the reverse, then men should look inward lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:37 AM
3

Then why is it mostly women who go to therapy?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:16 AM
7

The justice system imposes after-the-fact penalties for unlawful violence. It does not stop people’s fists mid-swing. It also does not heal the victim’s physical or psychological injuries.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:13 AM
6

You know adults don’t have to throw temper tantrums in response to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, right? Nobody is getting the ick over someone feeling normal human emotions. The ick comes from the person’s actions in response to the emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:03 AM
6

Men high in dark triad traits are skilled in getting what they want, no matter who suffers for it. They are skilled at controlling other people, which means they’re able to hoard more than “their fair share” of resources and power in a group. They’re also pretty immoral, so if getting what they want requires violence, exploitation, and cruelty, they have no qualms. They can also, of course, be altruistic when they want to be. It’s obvious why being attracted to them was a significant survival ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:53 AM
–

Thanks! It’s kinda complicated. We work at different offices but we’re working together on a project that takes a few years. So we can’t date or do anything romantic right now since we work together, but once the project is complete, we’ll be able to. But we both know we like each other, and he says he’ll ask me out when he can. The work project should be ending in a few months and I can’t wait. Hope he doesn’t change his mind, lol! You sound like you’ll be a really kind and caring partner. I’m …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 03:41 AM
–

Awww, sweetie, I hope you find the love of your life! If it’s an option, maybe try to find someone who has autistic family members. They’ll probably be more accepting and easier for you to get along with, because they don’t care about the stigma and they already know some of the expectations they might need to adjust. You really described exactly what I love about ND men. They’re not completely convincing when they try to be all manly, but it’s close enough and their efforts are so earnest. I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 01:45 AM
1

I specified that I was talking about forcible rape - in other words, not rape by drugging, because I knew someone was going to bring that up. Most men don’t fear women will forcibly rape them. Sorry that happened to you. I hope you’re healing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 02:50 PM
3

Lmaoooooo, have you ever even heard of a woman physically dominating a male hookup and forcibly penetrating his body with a sharp object? Show me a stat where 1 in 3 men are forcibly stabbed in the asshole because a woman physically overpowers them, lmao. This argument is so embarrassing, please let it go. You have no idea whether you know any men who have gone to jail for consensual sex the woman regretted. You only know men who have told you that’s what happened. Whose word should we trust mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 02:44 PM
2

I’ve never heard of a man being realistically afraid that a woman would use her superior upper body strength to physically overpower him and penetrate his vagina, anus, or mouth against his will with her penis. Do most men fear being forcibly penetrated by women? I’ve also never heard a man complain that most of his hookups just use part of his body to stimulate their clitoris to orgasm and then call it a night, without so much as touching his penis. Does that happen to you most of the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 06:31 AM
4

Gone is gone. What difference does it make if it’s 500 miles or 6,000 miles? And as long as there’s no infidelity, why shouldn’t someone have fun on a trip? Why wouldn’t someone WANT their spouse to have fun and get everything they can out of a cool location? I’m so confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 06:02 AM
7

Not everyone sees a spouse as just a source of constant companionship. My ex-husband wanted to be around me constantly and it drove me insane. I’d be open to remarrying but I’d never live with someone again. Separate residences, spend the night together a few times a week, chat on the phone most days. That’s my ideal. So if I find someone who wants that, too, why wouldn’t we get married? To me, marriage is a mutual commitment that, to the extent it’s under your control, the other person’s wellbe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 05:56 AM
7

Some women definitely take issue with it, as do some men. But as another commenter pointed out, military members, long haul truck drivers, etc. are often married. It’s not for everyone, but there are definitely a lot of people who are okay with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 05:46 AM
4

I’m guessing it would be too much FOR YOU. That’s fair, def make sure you don’t marry someone who travels 30 times a year. If these two people are okay with it, why do you care? More importantly, why should THEY care how it makes you feel? I say this with kindness: Butt out, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 05:44 AM
5

I know happily married couples who live in different houses. Not everybody thinks of marriage as a perpetual hangout-buddy type of thing. As long as both people are happy, there’s “a point” in being married.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 05:38 AM
4

Physical needs - meh. We can definitely get sex much easier than men, don’t get me wrong. But it can be hard to find a casual partner who (1) we feel safe with, and (2) actually makes an effort to fulfill our needs, as opposed to just using our bodies to masturbate. I don’t do casual sex myself, but from what I hear/read, it’s generally less enjoyable for women because men don’t put in much effort nor care enough to learn a specific woman’s body if it’s just casual. And of course it’s always FAR…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 04:10 AM
1

Yeah, like I said, you’re right. Your brilliance is astounding, you must be the cleverest boy in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 12:32 AM
3

Obviously it’s extremely difficult for most men to get the relationship they want. I’d never deny that. I’m not sure how that’s responsive to my comment, though…?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 10:31 PM
–

Wow, you really got me there. You’re right, the world is completely black and white and there has never been an exception to a general rule. Congrats on your high IQ.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 10:29 PM
8

As I said, the unwanted attention went down by like 90%. I didn’t get literally zero unwanted attention, but it was rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 09:08 PM
6

I’ve always been thin, then in my 20s I gained 60 pounds because of a medication I had to take for a couple of years. I was fairly invisible to most men while I was chonky. Once I stopped the medication, I steadily got thin again. Being invisible to men was PARADISE. I could go anywhere, wear anything, talk to anyone. I could just live as a completely free person. I wasn’t completely invisible, but the unwanted sexualization went down by like 90%. It was the only time in my life since childhood …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 08:29 PM
11

This is the answer. It’s not that we know we have “options”. That’s not even a factor. It’s that women’s overall well-being is usually dramatically better when we’re single than when we’re tied down. Women can get all our social and emotional needs met without the many downsides of being in a romantic relationship with a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 08:05 PM
5

I don’t have hard numbers, but I agree women probably initiate more breakups since they initiate a lot more divorces. I think you’re over-complicating things. The dumper (usually the woman) is sure they want the relationship to end. They’re unhappy and have given up hope for the future. They believe they’ll be happier if the relationship ends. The dumpee (usually the man) doesn’t want the relationship to end, or at least they still have hope for the future. They believe they’ll be happier if the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 03:20 AM
7

Good points. I believe the rule (with exceptions, of course) is that women choose fearless men. There are different flavors of fearless men that often correspond to socioeconomic status, personality, education, and other relatively stable-ish factors. Women choose from the flavors of fearless men that are available to them, i.e., that are in their social and occupational circles. For example, fearless men who have an upper-class upbringing and Ivy League education often become successful but rut…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 06:36 PM
4

I know nothing I can say will help, but I appreciate you sharing this perspective. It sounds really difficult to be autistic and I feel for you. I, for one, happen to find autistic men adorable and endearing. My dad is autistic and I have ADHD so I see ND people as “normal”, and frankly I’m usually put off by NT men. I’ve had 2 long-term partners with ASD, 2 with ADHD, and more crushes than that! There are ND-loving chicks out there, I assure you. I hope someday you’ll open your heart for love a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 07:18 AM
3

It just doesn’t strike me as a safe plan. My grandfather loved my grandmother, he worked while she took care of the home and their 8 kids. Then he got cancer in his 30s and was dead within a year, leaving my grandma with 8 minor children to feed (#3 has special needs), and no education or work history. With my grandfather’s social security benefits + welfare + part time seamstress work (she couldn’t work full-time nor even outside the home because there would be nobody to care for the younger ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 01:55 AM
–

So is your survival dependent on a human who loves you? Are you unemployed and dependent on parents, a partner, etc. to meet your survival needs?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:55 AM
2

Yes, context matters. When someone says “I can survive on my own” when they’re talking about the Western industrial economy, they typically mean “I can survive on my own in the Western industrial economy”. If they say the same thing when they’ve talking about wilderness skills, they typically mean “I can survive on my own in the wilderness”. You clearly don’t have any good points to make if all you can do is pretend to be confused about semantics.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:03 PM
3

I don’t use social media or dating apps myself, but in theory, sure. What’s wrong with that? If you catch a hottie, great! If not, being single is chill af. And we always have the option of lining up FWBs if we miss having sex that much. A good man is one who has a net positive impact on my life. In other words, on the whole, I’m happier with him than I am without him. That’s all it takes!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:21 AM
4

No, not exactly. Men are basically just a luxury if you can support yourself financially. You can be perfectly happy and fulfilled without one, but if you find one who loves and values you, then great! Women are good at maintaining social networks and close friendships that meet most of our emotional needs, so we don’t necessarily feel unloved and unvalued just because we’re not in a romantic relationship. It’s nice if you find a good guy, though, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:47 AM
1

Yep. Now for the third time, do you have a point to make or are you just going to keep being smug, pedantic, and intentionally obtuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:16 AM
1

Reason and intent are pieces of information that are obtained by reading written words and/or hearing spoken words. I know my own reasons and intents. I have read and heard many other women’s reasons and intents. I am a member of this group and stating my observations about other members of this group. Again, do you have a point? I’m getting bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:18 AM
1

I used “we” because I am a member of the group whose actions I am observing. It would be odd to use “they” since I’m part of that group. Do you have a point you’d like to make?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:56 AM
1

I’m not speaking for them. I’m stating what I observe most of them to be doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:52 AM
1

Most women who have the economic, political, and social freedom to be financially independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:47 AM
1

You said it’s getting increasingly difficult for women to be agreeable. I’m pointing out that it’s not that we’re trying and failing, i.e., it’s not that we find it difficult. We’re just not really bothering any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:42 AM
3

Yep. If the only thing you bring to the table is a paycheck, then you’ll only get attention from people who are only looking for a paycheck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:36 AM
6

Western women can be feminine. We were for a long time. Many of us now choose not to worry about it because it has no payoff and we can now have careers instead, which do have a payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:33 AM
3

Women rejected femininity because men used it as leverage to treat us poorly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:26 AM
1

It’s not difficult at all. We just don’t have to do it any more because we have the option to be financially independent instead, which has a much better payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:21 AM
1

So why go the long way around and have to clean up the disaster? The only logical thing to do is prevent the disaster by not being submissive in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:17 AM
1

Who would know what’s in my best interest better than me? Why would I just hope & pray someone is going to make decisions in my best interest, when I could just… make decisions myself that I KNOW are in my best interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:15 AM
4

Agreed. There’s no real payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:09 AM
5

What’s hard to understand? We want to have the option of being financially independent and we also want to feel loved and valued by our partners. Isn’t that what men want, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:07 AM
2

False dichotomy. Having a job does not make a person unlovable. Having no job does not guarantee a person will be loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:05 AM
5

“Having the ability to survive on your own” doesn’t typically mean you can survive by yourself in the wilderness. It means you have enough money to pay for your own basic needs. Rent/mortgage, groceries, clothes, healthcare, etc. That’s not an impossible task for all but a tiny minority of people. For most people it is completely possible, at least in the West.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:02 AM
1

So you’re searching for someone who couldn’t hold down a job if she tried? Are you looking for someone who is intellectually disabled? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:57 AM
1

I’d swipe left.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:55 AM
2

It was obvious to me and I didn’t write the comment. I think you’re just being obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:53 AM
6

Why should women have to pick between having a job and having a partner that loves them? Are men incapable of loving a woman who works? If so, why are men deficient in such a fundamental way? Why would women ever want to be with people who are so emotionally limited? Why do you assume having a job automatically means valuing a job over your family’s love? Why would your family not love you just because you work? And why would that only apply to women? Do women not love their employed husbands? D…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:51 AM
1

Accurate. There’s no problem to solve.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 09:28 PM
7

When I said “picky,” I meant picky about looks. In other words I’m agreeing with your premise that women are much more focused/picky about looks than men. I’m just confused why you think women won’t admit it, because I find that they’re proud of it. Being highly focused on men’s appearance means being aesthetically minded and having self-restraint. It’s very feminine to be so appreciative of physical beauty and so dismissive of most men just because they’re not aesthetically pleasing. It’s girly…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:48 PM
15

I’ve always seen and heard the opposite. Women criticizing men for having no standards when it comes to the opposite sex, being desperate, being willing to fuck anyone with a vagina, etc. Not only do women “admit” being magnitudes more picky than men, it’s a source of pride.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:07 PM
1

Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:06 PM
2

How did you read “I wouldn’t date an ugly guy even if he was rich” and think that means, “I don’t care about personality and would rather be with a hot sexy guy who thinks women are less than dogs”? Why are you like this? Or is it possible you’re just feeling a little emotional?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:54 AM
3

What women don’t admit to being shallow? I admit it. Of course we’re shallow, everybody is. There, you can take a breath now, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 12:49 AM
-1

When more women file for divorce, they say it’s proof women aren’t loyal to their poor sweet husbands. If more men filed for divorce, they’d say it’s proof women do nothing but terrorize their poor sweet husbands. Can’t win, don’t bother trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:58 PM
6

Exactly. There are dangerous men with and without tattoos. That’s not a meaningful filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 06:24 AM
7

It’s so bizarre to me that men think it’s a rare thing. I can’t imagine being just utterly oblivious to reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:27 AM
5

Good on you for being honest with yourself and others. Keep it up!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:22 AM
13

You can’t be serious. If someone has tattoos, they’re dangerous, and if they don’t, they’re not? Get on your knees right fucking now and thank baby jesus you weren’t born a girl. Right fucking now. If you were, some hiker would be pissing on your rotted bones right now because you’d have been murdered the day you hit puberty. My ex husband has a large and particularly nefarious-looking tattoo (he regrets it, lol). When I met him he had a shaved head and dressed like a hoodlum. He straight up loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 01:14 AM
18

This. Ask any guy how many girls/women he knows who have been SA’d. He’ll say plenty - everybody knows plenty. Now ask him how many boys/men he knows who have committed SA. He’ll say zero and die on that hill.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:57 PM
13

I wish I only knew one woman who had been a victim of male violence. I can’t even count how many I actually know. Definitely not worth the risk, as you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:53 PM
7

You’re suggesting we bet our actual lives on a vibe check?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:46 PM
8

Sex is “eh” for many women despite their high libidos. Way to prove most men suck in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:33 PM
1

Show me a man who has been crucified - or even executed in any way - for complaining about only getting unattractive obese women. Or when you say “crucified,” do you actually mean “criticized”? And if so, why do you believe that particular viewpoint should be immunized against criticism, when no other comparable viewpoint is immunized against criticism?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:07 PM
2

If you insult people who share an immutable characteristic where your employer can see it, and they fire you, the debate to be had is about the employer/employee relationship. Are companies obligated to employ people who might make the company look bad by association? But also, isn’t it troubling for a company to take action against an employee for something he does solely in his personal life? These kinds of questions are a lot more interesting than the ones you’re posing. Men’s and women’s pow…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:03 PM
3

I mean, if people are getting fired for stuff outside the workplace, that sounds more like an employment issue than a gender issue. Frankly I’ll never understand people who are dumb enough to post stuff like that where their employer can see it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. There isn’t a multi-millennia history of women unilaterally subjugating, oppressing, abusing, and raping men. When women insult men, it doesn’t dredge up any nasty history that no civilized person should want to alig…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 09:00 PM
1

Re: mediocre men, I’m not talking about looks, I’m talking about the whole person just being “meh” (in case that wasn’t clear). Not disgusting or abusive but not desirable either. If a woman is financially independent, there’s not really much that a mediocre man can add to her life. Sure, there’s companionship and a second income and whatnot, but it’s nothing that women can’t get from having friends, roommates, etc. If a woman has a FWB (which is easy breezy to get), that takes care of her sex d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:41 PM
2

Slavery is being owned by another person. An unwanted person is kinda the opposite of a slave. He has all the freedom in the world, because nobody cares what he does. Live your best life, bro, you’re free as a bird. Nobody is owning or oppressing you. As I’ve said in other comments, mediocre and subpar men obviously love patriarchy because it forces women to choose partners from their ranks. Women hate patriarchy for the same reason. We’re clearly not going to roll over and die like dogs either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:14 PM
2

Of course. Pendulums swing. That’s the rule of history. Thankfully I’ll be long dead by then.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:08 PM
1

I advocate for political and economic equality. That means both men and women have complete freedom (legal, financial, and social) to have sex and/or partnership with any consenting adult, and complete freedom to abstain from sex and/or partnership with any person they don’t desire. Everybody should be able to stand on their own two feet, so they can freely choose between being partnered and being single. If a financially independent woman is not chosen for LTR/marriage by the men she desires, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:05 PM
1

So do you like “unattractive obese women”?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:51 PM
2

The societal movement is patriarchy. Patriarchy is the effort by men to subordinate women, so that women have to reproduce with men they don’t choose. You’re free to dislike that. For a healthy society, you cannot coerce and pressure half the population into reproducing with people they don’t want to reproduce with. That is toxic and an unhealthy dynamic. Of course you find it ideal that one man gets one woman. This is the ideal for every man who isn’t highly desired by women. You wouldn’t think…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:48 PM
2

Patriarchs =/= desirable men Patriarchs = the people who create, advance, support, and/or advocate for societal conditions that coerce or pressure women to pair up, sexually and/or romantically, with men they don’t want. The interests of desirable men are antithetical to patriarchy. Under natural conditions, where women have full sexual agency and aren’t pressured to find a husband, attractive men can have an endless rotation of sexual partners and they can secure commitment from the very best w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:25 PM
2

Your first sentence says men are “immediately crucified” if they complain about “only getting unattractive obese women”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:07 PM
2

If that were true you’d see women lusting after “passport bros”, pro-life politicians, fundamentalist pastors, the Taliban, abortion clinic bombers, etc. Those are some of the more hardcore patriarchs, and I don’t know many women who seek those guys out for sex/dating/marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 01:34 PM
4

It’s insane the mental gymnastics they go through to make men the victims of every single situation. Another commenter suggested men are victims when they get fired for insulting women. It’s like they want to fetishize their own oppression but they don’t have any, so they claim to be oppressed by the natural consequences of their own idiocy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 01:04 PM
6

You can cite 3 examples off the top of your head of men who were rude and illogical enough to insult women in the workplace. Think about what that says about men. And you feel the men are the victims, lol. Think about what that says about you. Your analogy is like saying, “I’m not allowed to take off my clothes, because I know 3 guys who got fired for walking around their workplace naked.” There are acceptable times and places to insult people, just like there are acceptable times and places to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 12:53 PM
2

Women’s bodies bring life into the world. Maternity is always certain, paternity isn’t. In a world where women have complete and total control over who they have sex with, every man’s genetic legacy is at women’s mercy. If women won’t sleep with you, your genes die off. Men don’t like that. They resent having no control over that. Patriarchy is the sum total of men’s efforts to get women to mate with men they don’t want to mate with. To the extent women participate, it’s because compliance is re…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:17 PM
25

Right? This is so dumb. “I’m not allowed to say I don’t like fat women.” Uhhh, you just said it, OP. Nobody stopped you or even tried. Wtf is he even fussing about?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 10:37 PM
1

Lol, doubling down. Nobody is interested in your off-topic pity party. Here, you win: You’re the biggest victim in the whole wide world. Poor baby. Now say something relevant to the post or pipe down.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:41 PM
1

Good thing OP wrote a whole ass post that is gendered then, eh?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:02 AM
4

Thank you for being one of the very few men who actually responded to OP’s prompt instead of just insisting that men are the real victims. This was a quality comment. Your reasons make sense, and normally my response would be that you can’t extrapolate a worldview from a few bad incidents -- but you clearly already know that and are making a good faith effort to figure things out. That’s really all anyone can ask of you. Humans are pattern-seeking creatures; we can’t help it. Most of the time it…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:34 AM
1

Typical male behavior. Turning discussions of women’s issues into a whine about how you are the true victim. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:14 AM
-1

Typical male behavior. Turning discussions of women’s issues into a whine about how you are the true victim. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:14 AM
1

Typical male behavior. Turning discussions of women’s issues into a whine about how you are the true victim. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:13 AM
2

Typical male behavior. Turning discussions of women’s issues into a whine about how you are the true victim. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:12 AM
1

Typical male behavior. Turning discussions of women’s issues into a crybaby rant about how you are the true victim. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:10 AM
5

Yeah I commented about being assaulted by a colleague. He is facing multiple dangerous and violent felony charges and could go to prison for almost 60 years, plus lifetime sex offender registration, if convicted on all counts. Legally, I suffered “serious bodily injuries” and required medical care. The guy admitted guilt to me over the phone, not knowing the call was being recorded by police. Despite not knowing either of us, male commenters replied that they needed to hear his side of the story…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:59 AM
9

Yeah I agree that a lot of the disconnects come from differences in age, location, SES, etc. that we can’t see because everyone is anonymous. I’m a mid-30s divorced professional woman in a major urban area that skews young, unmarried, liberal, educated, and high-income. A lot of my experiences will sound completely unbelievable to, for instance, a teenage boy who lives with conservative religious parents in a rural part of the Deep South. And his experiences will sound completely unbelievable to…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:47 AM
1

Is it men’s nature to rape or isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 06:32 AM
1

Not what I asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 06:00 AM
1

Is it men’s nature to rape or isn’t it? Breathing, eating plants, drinking water, sleeping, speaking, walking — those things are human nature and generally accepted as morally neutral. Is raping in that category?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 05:19 AM
1

If your father raped your mother, would you tell your mother he acted morally and in accordance with his nature?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:56 AM
1

I understand rape has been thought of as a property crime, you don’t need to keep repeating that. I’m not asking when it was “not immoral”. I’m asking when it was considered affirmatively “moral” by humans as a whole. Note that women are also humans. When, if ever, did humankind think raping was morally better than not raping?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 02:16 AM
1

During what period of time did humans believe rape was a moral act? Reasons are irrelevant. When did humans believe it was morally correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 02:07 AM
1

Whether it was considered a crime against a person or a crime against property, it’s still a been immoral for as long as we’ve had morals. It’s part of our nature only to the extent murder, assault, and theft are part of our nature. Would you ever say people are indebted to you for not murdering them?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 01:50 AM
1

As a species, we’ve known rape is immoral as long as we’ve known murder, violence, theft, and lying are immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 10:21 PM
0

Are you saying men’s nature is to rape and beat women?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 01:16 PM
1

Yes, the vast majority get away with it. Like, almost all of them. It’s horrible. The justice system is improving though. Much of the bottleneck is at the victim level (not reporting) and police level (not referring for prosecution). If you can get past the police stage and get it in front of a prosecutor, they generally take it pretty seriously nowadays. At least that’s the trend I see from where I stand on the defense side. I’m actually going through the process myself right now on the victim …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 01:44 PM
1

I think the issue I have with your comments is that you assume men always listen and try in good faith to get their partners off. I assure you this is no guarantee. Some do, obviously, but one-sided sex is probably more common than you’d think. Communication is a two-way street, it has to be given and received in order to actually do anything. In my own experience and what I’ve heard from other women, a lot of men aren’t interested in satisfying their partners, or they pay lip service to it and …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 03:33 AM
1

Why are you arguing with me like I’m making the rules or being unfair? Lol. If you want to be one of my clients someday, then by all means, keep playing with fire. If you don’t, then don’t fuck around with intoxicated people. Up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 12:42 AM
1

I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. I said sex with intoxicated people “can” meet the legal definition of rape. The key word is “CAN”. It does not always meet the definition. It sometimes does. I laid out the three circumstances under which intoxication voids consent. There are obviously many other circumstances where intoxication does not void consent. I would not advise getting anywhere near that line. It’s not hard to stay away from it. Just have sex with sober people.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 12:18 AM
1

Correct. If someone gives legally valid consent, then… that’s consent. Point?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 11:41 PM
1

Do you also blame men for not enjoying sex with women who aren’t good at it? Are men wholly responsible for stimulating their own penises during sex? And if a man doesn’t get off, do you automatically assume he failed to communicate his preferences to his female partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 07:02 PM
3

It’s concerning that you seem to be looking for an oddly specific loophole where one person could rape another and go free on a technicality. Am I misunderstanding something? This hypothetical would be a highly specific factual inquiry, it’s impossible to speculate without a moment-by-moment narrative. Both people might be guilty of a crime, or only one, or neither. It depends entirely on the details. Again, only have sex with people who can and do give legally valid consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 06:36 PM
11

I defend the constitutional rights of people charged with crimes, including people charged with rape and worse. I ensure (or at least try to) that nobody is convicted and sentenced for a crime unless the government can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that they committed it. Dentists and defense lawyers: People hate us till they need us!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 04:08 PM
2

Ummm, I didn’t say that. I said the opposite. Neither person can be assured of “getting away with” having sex with another person who can’t consent to sex - neither the woman because of the boy’s age, nor the boy because of the woman’s intoxication. The solution is for nobody to have sex with people who can’t legally consent. It’s very easy not to commit felonies, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 04:04 PM
1

If sex were as enjoyable for women as it is for men, maybe we’d want more of it. Read about the orgasm gap. “Equal” does not mean “indistinguishable”. Male and female brains are of equal value. They are, at the same time, distinguishable. You can buy a red t-shirt that costs $20 and a blue t-shirt that costs $20. Their value is equal. They are also distinguishable. Re-read my comment. I wrote: “Economic equality doesn’t change biology. I’m confused why so many men take issue with that.” Nowhere …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:58 PM
5

Voluntary intoxication is not a defense to a crime. If you willingly get intoxicated, you are guilty for crimes you commit while impaired, same as if you were sober. You took the risk of having your behavior impaired when you willingly got intoxicated. Otherwise people could have a few drinks, shoot a bunch of people, and walk away. I think we can all agree that would not be a just outcome. Voluntary intoxication does not negate victim status. A guilty defendant does not become innocent because …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:45 PM
11

If the man knows or reasonably should know that any of the above 3 things are true, then yes. This is not gendered. If either one knew any of the above 3 things were true with respect to the other person, and they have sex with that person anyway, they are guilty of rape. In real life, no prosecutor would ever bring a case where it’s just two equally drunk people having sex. It’s a waste of time and taxpayer money. Guys are WAY too paranoid about this dumb hypothetical. I mostly defend sex crime…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:30 PM
2

How did men go against their biology to make economic equality possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:27 PM
1

No, you took the second part out of context. My confusion was not about why men don’t like when women are celibate. Obviously men don’t like it because it means they don’t get laid, duh. My confusion is why men seem to think women should be pursuing them for sex equally, just because women now have financial independence. Eggs are still just as expensive and sperm is still cheaper than free.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:25 PM
1

Sorry, I edited my comment and took that part out! I know what you’re referring to, though. That would be a tricky one, I honestly don’t know how that would go. In real life, though, most likely a prosecutor wouldn’t charge either of them, because they can both pin the blame on each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:18 PM
5

This is actually a really good question! Voluntary intoxication is not a defense to a crime. When you get intoxicated, willingly, you are responsible for everything you do in that condition, same as if you were sober. Otherwise people could have a couple of beers, go on a shooting rampage, and walk away. That would not be right. (Note that involuntary intoxication, however, is a defense. Like for example, if someone slips you a roofie without your knowledge, and you drive a car while impaired, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 02:39 PM
43

Ummm, as a criminal defense lawyer, I can assure you that “having sex with” a drunk girl can absolutely meet the legal definition of rape. If you knew or had reason to know she was incapable of apprising the nature of the conduct, was incapable of communicating lack of consent, or incapable of declining/refusing participation, then you have committed rape and can be convicted and sentenced accordingly. Never, ever, ever fuck around with sex crimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 06:51 AM
2

I absolutely love sex, believe me, lol. I’ve always had a higher libido than my partners. Every single time. I wouldn’t enjoy sex with strangers for the same reason you probably wouldn’t enjoy sex with 90-year old grannies, or men, or your family members, or animals. It’s not a deliberate decision not to engage in that, it’s just “eww”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 06:09 AM
–

Oh I love sex! I just don’t want sex without mutual trust, warmth, and affection. You don’t have that with strangers, it takes a while. It’s not a matter of principle at all, it’s a matter of desire. The idea of a stranger being inside my body just grosses me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 06:05 AM
2

The reason I don’t is because I don’t want to. You answered your other question yourself. I find relationships by meeting men and getting to know them. I do not find relationships by getting jackhammered by random strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:56 AM
3

Well, apparently not as much as men seem to think they should, otherwise men wouldn’t be complaining about the lack of it. Can’t have it both ways. Either most women have as much interest in casual sex as men do, or they don’t. I think they don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:52 AM
2

I’ve been celibate for 4 years and haven’t once been tempted to change that, but ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:50 AM
–

Because we don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:49 AM
4

Uhh, no? Men should just learn to offer good companionship, which is what most women want from them nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:59 AM
0

Underrated comment right here. When I’m in a relationship, I always have the higher libido than my partner. When I’m single, I’d much rather masturbate than let some rando jackhammer me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 08:18 PM
8

I acknowledge it. What now? Should I start fucking strangers just because they want to fuck me? Hard pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 08:16 PM
11

This. If I get horny and I don’t have a consistent partner, I just masturbate. It would never occur to me to seek out some rando to get me off…? A lot of men don’t even try to get their partner off anyway, so if I wanted to have an orgasm, the only sure way is to do it myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 08:14 PM
13

Yep. If men give you attention, you’re just a narcissist in denial. If they don’t, you’re a contemptible dried-up hag. It’s so transparent and boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 08:08 PM
–

Accountable for what? Not being thirsty for men the way they’re thirsty for us? By all means, I hereby take “accountability” for that, on behalf of women everywhere. Now what do you want us to do about it? Fuck every random dude that wants to fuck us? Get outta here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 08:04 PM
22

The difference is that women don’t crave sexual novelty the way men do, nor do we crave sex with people we barely know. Yeah exceptions always exist, we’re talking generally. Women can definitely have higher libidos than men when they have a consistent partner. I’ve always had a higher libido than the men I’ve been in relationships with. But when I’m not in a relationship, I have almost zero, because there’s not a specific person to direct my sexual energy toward. If I get a physical urge to org…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:59 PM
21

Right?! It’s not up to women to woo men just because we have jobs now. Men can still make a baby every 10 minutes and women can still only give birth around once a year. Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheaper than free - a lot of them can’t even GIVE it away. Women can be celibate for long periods and not go crazy. Apparently men can’t, if the internet is to be believed. That’s life! Economic equality doesn’t change biology. I’m confused why so many men take issue with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:49 PM
1

I’ve never heard anyone deny this. Who are you talking to that denies this? As a woman, if anything, I embrace it. I’m not thirsty for men the way they’re thirsty for me, so as long as I’m financially secure (ie, as long as I don’t need a man for his money), I’ll always have the upper hand. I always thought this was obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:39 PM
2

I don’t know if it’s just me, but every guy I’ve met who says he’s comfortable sharing emotions (or however they word it) is actually just a drama queen. I’ve seen guys describe their emotional openness as a positive, but then use it as an excuse to always be bitching and moaning about asinine stuff. Nobody likes a whiner. Everybody has moments when they just need to unload, and that’s fine, but the intensity and duration should fit with what’s going on. And you shouldn’t be unloading about the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 11:43 AM
1

Southern California, actually
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 05:19 PM
0

There’s a difference between knowing something and admitting it to yourself. When women seem surprised that a hot guy used her for sex, very often they already knew it but just wouldn’t admit it to themselves because they didn’t want it to be true. I’d say this is the case more than 90% of the time. Ask her about it a year later and she’ll tell you all the obvious signs, which she previously simply ignored or made excuses for, because she didn’t want to see them. People — both women and men — ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 07:03 AM
11

Agree. A woman can usually endear herself to a man and shoo away his other options if she really tries, assuming he doesn’t just ghost. A man in the “friend zone” might score eventually if the woman someday finds herself lonely enough. One-sided relationships are never a good idea, but just for the sake of discussion, I think you’re right about the odds.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 05:26 AM
3

Nah, not really. We’re just griping. Everybody complains about dumb shit on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 03:49 AM
0

Yeah. I complained about receiving UNWANTED attention. Like most women do. Not all attention is unwanted. We complain about receiving attention we don’t want. We don’t complain when we receive the attention we DO want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 03:05 AM
1

Oh I didn’t find out he was still married until much later. This interpretation was when I thought he was separated and definitively not getting back together with his ex (he had straight up lied, lol). He fronted like he was genuinely interested in taking me out and getting to know me. I’ve got nothing against glances! Trust me, I’m a filthy tease, lol! It’s the deception that proved the crime. We both found each other attractive, had been appropriately but openly flirty, and we were in very cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 02:54 AM
1

No, you said women want to be lusted after so that they can complain about it. You’re basically saying women complain about getting exactly what they want. That’s silly. Obviously women want lust from men we desire. And obviously we do NOT want lust from men we do NOT desire. The “wanted or unwanted” factor determines everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 10:51 PM
1

Accurate. I once had a whole ass infatuation with a guy, solely because I loved watching him look at me. He had these big pale blue-gray eyes, and when he’d look at me, his pupils would instantly max out and he’d look like an anime character. We’d be having a totally normal conversation and as soon as he turned to face me, his eyes would go from steely blue to almost completely black. When he’d look away, they’d turn blue again. Of course he had no idea that was even happening. He was polite and…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 10:34 PM
2

Almost everything. Not this. The commenter above you is correct. We honest to god don’t care, at least not in any meaningful way. Some of us feel sympathy (I do), but none of us are willing to fuck an unfuckable man just because we feel sorry for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 09:39 PM
2

I agree with your first point that it’s a minority of men doing most of the overt harassing and acting like dogs. For every dude who says something gross to me out in public, there are definitely at least two who I don’t even notice or remember because they leave me alone. So I’m with you on that. I do tend to disagree that women can’t tell if a man is actually interested in her or just wants sex. In general, women are more emotionally intelligent than men, and better at picking up nonverbal clu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 09:36 PM
1

We want to be lusted after by men who we lust after. Depending on how picky the individual woman is, that’s anywhere from 0.0001% to maybe 20% of men at the absolute most. Lust coming from non-lustable men feels icky.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 08:19 PM
8

Wait, do you really think male sexual attention peaks when a woman is in her mid-20s? I hope you’re joking but I can’t tell. If you’re serious, respectfully, please allow me to clear this up for you. Adult male sexual attention peaks when girls are in puberty or shortly before. I started getting sexual attention from adult men when I was 8 years old. Peak was ages 8-12. For perspective, by the time I was 25, I had been dealing with it for 17 years. Not exactly a novelty. For the first couple of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 08:13 PM
13

I relate. For me this started at age 8. When I was 10, my little brother was in kindergarten and I’d walk by his babysitter’s house to pick him up on my way home from school (I was in 4th grade), and a fully grown man would always ask me to come hang out with him in his garage. I’d literally be wearing a kid backpack and carrying a Disney lunch box, and he’d be hollering at me that I’m so pretty, come chill with him, don’t be such a stranger, etc. That was just one guy, but I got that kind of tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 07:45 PM
12

Do you think you’d be just as enthusiastic if fully grown adult gay men had been constantly hitting on you and trying to fuck you, occasionally sending you nudes, and getting creepy/threatening, since you were 8 years old? That’s 2nd grade, by the way. I ask because that’s when I started getting hit on, followed, catcalled, harassed, etc. by fully grown adult men. If that had happened to you with adult gay men, do you think you might have developed a less rosy view of them by the time you reache…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 07:24 PM
3

I’m a very sexual person. In relationships, I always have the higher libido and the weirder kinks. I masturbate all the goddamn time. I love to flirt and I’ll make out with practically anyone. I’m far from being a prude. But the idea of a someone touching me sexually, or of myself touching someone else sexually, when I don’t love them and feel loved by them - it makes me want to barf. I can’t imagine anything more disgusting, no matter who the person is or what he looks like. It takes me a very …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:08 AM
–

Truth. My sister married an underwear model turned surgeon. The chadliest chad to ever chad. Both were in mid-20s. Happily married for well over a decade now, as are all of his chadly friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 10:38 PM
2

Great point! Yeah it’s just about being fearless, but there are quite a few “flavors” of that trait, for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:37 PM
7

According to the internet, he was 18 and the victim was 16. Beating people up is never okay, but that just sounds like one dumb teenager beating up another - not the same psychological profile as a child abuser.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:28 PM
4

According to the internet, that happened when he was 18 and the victim was 16. I’m not defending the guy or saying that’s an okay thing to do — it’s obviously not, and I hope the victim is fully recovered and all that. But that said, a high school senior kicking a sophomore’s ass isn’t really what comes to mind when I think of child abuse. Again, that’s not okay, but it hardly means he’s dark triad. More likely he was just a dumbass teenager with poor impulse control.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:26 PM
3

I think women just like fearless men. Fearlessness is a neutral trait, it can be used for good or evil or somewhere in between. “Bad boys” are fearless-evil, and the women who are drawn to that tend to be a little… off. But fearless-good and fearless-neutral guys also get plenty of action. Leaders, athletes, entrepreneurs, cops/firemen, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:09 PM
1

Agree. Better to start with someone who seems reasonably healthy and happy on the surface. Maybe they’re cool all the way through, or maybe some inner demons show themselves later and you handle it. But there’s no sense starting with someone who’s got such bad inner demons they’re written all over the person’s face from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:00 PM
5

Yeah I’m glad you mentioned this. It’s not toxic to have a “big presence”. By the same token, it’s not inherently non-toxic to be introverted, serious, shy, etc. I think men sometimes just label guys with a big presence as “toxic” because they’re envious of the attention those guys get from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 02:52 PM
2

Is he actually? I’m genuinely asking, I don’t know much about the guy. I know he’s a felon, but that doesn’t make him dark triad. Is there more to it?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 02:29 PM
–

Lol! Yep, exercising and not insulting women isn’t exactly using magic to sneak into women’s panties without us noticing. It’s literally just looking and acting decent. You know, looking and acting like a man who doesn’t need magic to get into women’s panties. This post reminds me of an ancient Simpsons episode. Bart gets locked in a closet at school and has nothing better to do than memorize some chart on the wall. Later he takes a test about whatever was on the chart and he aces it. He exclaim…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 05:01 AM
–

I think there’s a disconnect between what women say and what men hear. Women want men to open up about their emotions, which for us means acknowledging emotions and doing the work of releasing and managing them in healthy ways. Yes, sharing with your partner can be one piece of that, but just one. Other pieces might include opening up to friends or family, going to therapy, exercising and practicing good self care, eating and sleeping well, reading self help books and implementing practices that…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:47 PM
5

Most people I know are baseline healthy and functional, or at least they appear to be - nobody’s perfect, but I don’t personally know many people who are grossly physically unhealthy or so socially inept that they walk around insulting people they like. If you spend a lot of time around a lot of people like that, consider expanding your social circle. But if the word “normal” bothers you, then just take it out. If the red pill turned this guy into a healthy and socially competent person, and as …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:13 PM
33

Is it really a pill to try to be fit and baseline socially competent? Not saying overtly offensive things, not telling women you have mixed feelings about notorious misogynists, not pulling out academic studies to insult someone like a freaking lunatic? And not bragging about the fact that you exercise? None of that seems like master manipulation to me. I, too, exercise and try not to horrify or insult people I’m interested in. So does practically everyone I know, of both sexes. Those are things…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 09:45 PM
2

To women, the most attractive man is the one who is in control. “In control” is different than “controlling”. “In control” means that the man is capable of imposing his will on the group, and the group will go along with his wishes (whether they enjoy it or not). A woman’s criteria for identifying which men are “in control” depends largely on her culture, upbringing, and personality. But most of us are attracted to the same underlying thing: A man who is either feared or loved or both. Some wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 08:02 PM
4

I completely agree that relationships are not business transactions and should not be treated as such. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be practical to a certain extent. There’s no reason to commit to an LTR/marriage unless the other person is a net positive addition to your life, compared to being single. It’s not right to be overly materialistic or superficial about it, but I think it’s better to stay single if your best available LTR/marriage option wouldn’t increase your overall happiness…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 06:44 PM
–

My dad is a good man. Very wholesome and kind at heart. He works hard and provided as best he could. However, he’s autistic and extremely negligent of his marriage and human relationships in general. No physical affection or quality time with my mom, no interest in her life or her thoughts, very little interaction. They’ve lived as resentful roommates for as long as I can remember. As far as kids go, he would allow my mom to drag him along to our soccer games and school plays, but my siblings an…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 04:23 PM
3

Oh I agree completely! We’re in uncharted territory, no one really knows how it’ll turn out. Again, I don’t think it’ll ever get as extreme as you’re suggesting, but I agree it’s probably the biggest turning point in our species since the advent of agriculture. I could be way off in my own predictions - only time will tell. Personally, though, I’m not in a hurry to go back to a system where women couldn’t survive without men. I think freedom for everyone is inherently better than freedom for onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 03:42 PM
3

I generally agree that a lot of men will never get to pair up, and even fewer will get to pair up permanently. And I’m sure a lot of them will be unhappy about it. But that’s just not women’s problem to solve. If men want to regain the upper hand by out-competing women at school and work, nobody is stopping them from trying. If more men can’t or won’t out-compete women or be the kinds of partners women want, women aren’t obligated to sacrifice themselves and take on all that risk just so undesir…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 03:14 PM
8

I’m definitely more empathetic to men’s struggles because I have a brother. Luckily he has a lot to offer, met a wonderful girl in college, and they’re getting married this fall (he’s 31 and she’s 30 now). So he doesn’t have the problems that a lot of men here describe. But the fact that he potentially could, does give me a softer heart for men who do have a hard time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 02:28 PM
6

Realistic =/= neurotic
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 02:18 PM
3

I generally agree with your points, but I don’t necessarily see it as a bad thing that fewer people are entering lifelong partnerships. I can see why men would want to go back to that, but they’re only half the population, and the other half (women) don’t seem to harbor any nostalgia about it. I’m not saying being permanently single is a great thing for everybody in every situation, but I just don’t see it as a large-scale problem that needs a large-scale “solution”. I’ve only ever heard/read me…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:56 PM
2

My type is into me, thankfully. I like men in the upper 5-feet, lean but not scrawny, neither flabby nor visibly muscular, with warm expressive faces, deep voices, full lips, and big teeth. (I dunno why, I just think big teeth are hot, lol.) No visible tattoos, no funky hairstyles, no facial hair besides possibly a short well-groomed scruff. I’m not super picky about clothes, but they have to fit properly and not be too flashy or trendy. I’m roughly the girl you’d expect to see with a guy like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:30 PM
4

Ding ding ding, we have a winner! You solved it. For a woman, being in a relationship with a man who is her equal in every way (looks, income, chore division, etc.) is a net negative, for more reasons than men seem to comprehend. For openers: Women have an increased risk of contracting STIs; increased risk of suffering domestic violence and/or sexual assault by her partner; women go through pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum health issues, a permanently changed body, increased risk of osteoporosi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:01 PM
80

Exactly! A few decades ago, if a man could pay the bills and have a little left over, and control his temper most of the time, he was considered a great catch. That’s not even the bare minimum anymore. Women underwent a major software update and men haven’t kept up. Update your software, learn to be a good life companion, and you’ll be miles ahead of the rest.
/r/seduction08/05/23 08:06 PM
124

I think #3 is the biggest reason. The only real reason for a financially independent woman to get into a LTR/marriage these days is for companionship. Men didn’t really have to provide that in previous generations, so a lot of young men today don’t really know how to be a good companion to women. It’s not something they were taught because their fathers and grandfathers didn’t have to know how to be that; they just had to hold a job and not be such a massive dick that their wives would rather st…
/r/seduction08/05/23 05:06 PM
7

Yeah I agree. “She’s crazy” is just a catchall phrase that men use whenever they don’t like something a woman did. Could be something as serious as stabbing him, or as innocuous as asking him to spend time with her instead of going out with the boys, or anything in between. Men definitely should not be using the same word to describe violent felonies that they use to describe minor annoyances, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 08:25 PM
9

There are infinite stories of men turning scary on a woman who rejects him. Never heard of a man turning scary on a cockblocking friend. I can’t say it’s never happened in the history of the world, but indirect rejection (e.g., the cockblocking friend) is generally safer than direct rejection. So that’s the most logical choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 04:26 PM
11

Are you nuts? Safety is far from a shitty excuse. Go to r/whenwomenrefuse for a sampling. Nobody is "exploiting friendship". Friends help each other out. That's... normal. Car death is more common than violent attacks from men. That's why we have brakes, airbags, seatbelts, speed limits, traffic lights... ya know, all kinds of safety measures to mitigate the danger. It's the same thing dealing with men. We reject men indirectly to mitigate the risk of violence. You're correct that men can turn v…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 03:51 PM
13

It's really not that dramatic. People of both sexes are generally happy to spend 2 seconds getting their friends out of uncomfortable situations. That's not at all comparable to "royalty using peasants to right their wars", lmao. Why would women prioritize being "honest" with some random stranger whose opinion means nothing to us, over being safe? Whether you reject a guy directly or indirectly, he still gets the message. But doing it directly is more dangerous. There's no upside for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 03:20 PM
10

It’s not cowardly to protect yourself. We never know which men will respond to a polite rejection with violence or insults.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 02:55 PM
25

We never know which men will respond to a polite rejection with violence or insults. Always better to play it safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 02:52 PM
4

As a woman who mostly lived off-campus during college and routinely got hit on by men in their 30s+, I can only say that it’s a visceral disgust. It’s one thing to connect organically with someone who happens to be older - when I was 20, I casually dated a neighbor-friend in my apartment complex who was 28. He refused to have sex with me because of the age gap. Very good guy. We’re still friends. It’s quite another thing to be pursued by older men when it’s obvious they just want sex. Yes, peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 07:02 PM
1

The only way to tell is through trial and error. Errors can be dangerous or even fatal. Visit r/whenwomenrefuse for a sampling. The desert is a barren wasteland but the ocean is shark-infested saltwater. Women are not in any better environment than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:52 PM
1

Yes, most relationships with men are a net negative for the women in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:47 PM
2

The only way to tell is through trial and error. Errors can be dangerous and even deadly. Visit r/whenwomenrefuse for a sampling.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:46 PM
2

That’s like asking why men find women in their 20s so desirable, since IVF now enables women to safely have babies well into their 40s. Ancient biological imperatives can’t keep up with every shift in the modern world.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:30 PM
3

Women can’t count on “Chad rescuing us” (giving us long-term loving monogamous commitment), any more than men can count on a sexy young virgin trying to seduce them. Sure it happens for some people, but it’s not a smart wager for most.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 12:42 AM
3

Not necessarily abusive. This also applies to garden-variety crappy guys who add nothing good to their partner’s life but still keep her off the market, promising to do better and letting her down repeatedly, until she finally leaves. Mediocre time-wasters are a huge net negative for women because of our relatively short fertility window.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 12:18 AM
15

Men are dying of thirst in the desert. It’s clear there’s very little water. Women are dying of thirst in the ocean, surrounded by toxic saltwater. Men don’t believe that women are dying of thirst because their only reference point is the desert, and all they see is that women are surrounded by water. Men are only envious because they don’t believe women that the water is undrinkable. In other words, yes it’s easy for a woman to find a man who will gladly use her as a masturbation object, free t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:49 PM
–

I agree with your point about women’s SMV not really dropping due to age. As long as women don’t get fat and don’t get a manly haircut, “the wall” isn’t real. I’m a 36F, conventionally attractive, good career, and I get more male attention now than I ever did in my 20s. Men in their 20s love the idea of a “hot older woman who has her shit together”. Meanwhile, men in their 40s and 50s see me as a “hot younger woman who might actually be attainable” and simp accordingly. No sign of the dreaded wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:47 AM
–

I agree with everything except your last paragraph. For reference, I’m in my 30s and most of my social circle are professionals in their 30s and up (I’m always the baby). I live in a major US city with tons of singles. From what I see, the happiness hierarchy goes: (1) single women (2) married men (3) single men (4) married women There are exceptions here and there, of course, and maybe this hierarchy changes by age and/or socioeconomic status. But single women who make a comfortable living are …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:14 AM
2

Yeah, OP’s hypothetical implies that both people would truthfully say they don’t know what happened. In theory, anyone can invent a complete life-shattering fabrication out of thin air for no reason, but that can happen any time you’re alone with someone. It’s a bit like saying you might get bitten by a venomous snake any time you go hiking. Sure, it’s always possible, but in real life, the odds are just so low that it’s not really worth losing sleep over.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 08:50 PM
1

That’s true. Everybody should be as careful as they possibly can - both men and women. I’m just saying it’s extremely unlikely to turn into a criminal matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 01:32 AM
3

Men didn’t “give” women rights. Women are naturally born with rights, just like men are. Men wrongfully restricted women from exercising their natural rights, and now that is being corrected. Analogy: If a thief steals something from you, and you later take it back, we don’t say the thief kindly chose to give you a gift. We say you rightfully took back your own property.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:29 AM
6

Women weren’t sentenced to life in prison before Roe. Women weren’t sentenced to any jail time before Roe. You suggested life imprisonment. Tell me how that benefits men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:17 AM
7

Okay, let’s say it’s less than a million. It’s still removing many childbearing-aged women from the population. And the bill will fall on the taxpayer to feed and house all those new inmates. And the workforce will still be smaller. Also, many women will die from illegal abortions like in the good old days, further reducing the number of childbearing-aged women from the population. I repeat: How does this benefit men?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:10 AM
7

In the U.S. alone, there are sometimes more than a million legal abortions performed per year. If a million women get sentenced to life in prison every year, that means there will soon be a lot fewer women than men in the general population. And millions upon millions more inmates that taxpayers will have to support, with a much smaller workforce. Does that benefit men? If so, how?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:05 AM
6

How will that benefit you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:00 AM
7

Yes, they generally do oppose it at every opportunity. They generally always have. It’s called patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 11:58 PM
17

Ending the economic oppression of women was never intended to benefit men. That’s why men resist it. Ending the economic oppression of women is intended to benefit women. That’s why women fight for it. Not rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 11:55 PM
1

Agreed. But it wouldn’t be a good outcome, either, for people to be punished for crimes when nobody even knows if a crime happened or not. I don’t know what the solution is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:50 PM
4

Definitely. Nothing wrong with having a few drinks to loosen up and have fun! But it’s dangerous (for you and the women around you) to get to the point where you’re not “yourself” anymore, if that makes sense. Back when I was young and fun, my friends and I came up with a system. We all watched YouTube videos of field sobriety tests (like for DUIs) and if someone ever wanted to run off for a drunk hookup, the rest of us would make them both do field sobriety tests first. You don’t need any speci…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 06:03 PM
8

Yeah, alcohol (and drugs) definitely make these things complicated from that angle. I’m not a fan, personally. Remember that alcohol disinhibits men just as much as women. You’re not in your right mind when you’re that intoxicated. You might do things while drunk that you would never do sober, and voluntarily intoxication is not a defense to a crime. The scenario you should be avoiding is not “Neither of us remember what happened and she wants me to go to prison just in case.” That doesn’t reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 05:05 PM
18

This possibility takes up way too much space in guys’ brains. As a criminal defense lawyer who defends a lot of people charged with sex crimes, I can tell you that no cop would make an arrest for this, no prosecutor would make a case out of it, and no jury would convict. You can’t stop someone from filing a police report, and maybe the police would try to ask you about it to see if you’re dumb enough to confess (don’t ever talk to the police), but that’s where it would end. If the “victim” doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 04:14 PM
1

Nah.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 10:24 AM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 07:34 AM
1

Ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 12:48 AM
3

The opposite. I thought we were equally attractive but the guys (and other people) would constantly tell me I could do better, ask me what I was thinking dating them, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 12:44 AM
2

I don’t know why they did it, I just know they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 12:28 AM
10

Oh you could not be more wrong. They’ll be extra sweet for the first couple of weeks or months, and then they start to actively hate you and tear you down any chance they get. I’ve been there an embarrassing number of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 10:56 PM
–

Same. I genuinely feel sympathy for them. Not in a patronizing way at all. If I had no realistic chance of ever being desired, I don’t know how I could go on living. The thought makes my heart hurt. That said, I would never willingly pair up with someone I didn’t desire, and I’d never want other women to do it either. It’s a very real problem for men but it’s not women’s job to sacrifice ourselves to “fix” it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 05:16 AM
–

I agree with this. But I’d call it “contradictory in a good way”. That’s one of the most attractive traits a man can have. As far as looks go, honestly, it cannot take a man from ugly to hot, but it can definitely take a man from semi-cute to hot. My current crush has some “cool guy” hobbies and some totally dorky hobbies, and he’s equally enthusiastic talking about both. He’s one of the most brilliant knowledgeable humans I’ve ever met, but he shamelessly watches every dumb kid movie that comes…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 05:08 AM
–

“It” is charisma. Such a shitty answer because, as the comments are saying, you either have it or you don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 02:03 AM
1

Totally. It’s amazing how many men struggle with baseline social competence and maintaining healthy relationships with others. That’s not the sole cause of everyone’s problems of course, but it’s an underrated factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 02:36 PM
1

I’m not proud of this, but during the pandemic lockdown I went down a months-long rabbit hole of dating advice for men, just to see what “the other side” looks like. It’s actually weirdly addictive! Those were my honest-to-god takeaways.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 02:34 PM
1

Thank you for your support, I appreciate your comment. I will be getting a concealed carry permit and using it. The problem is that I’m a lawyer (we both are) and I can’t bring a gun to court or my office, so I can’t really be armed against colleagues. I took a self-defense class years ago but they only teach you how to fight off, essentially, the first contact with “a stranger who suddenly jumps out of the bushes and grabs you”. They assume you are standing up, completely sober and alert, outdo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 02:27 PM
6

“As surely as a compass points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman.”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 09:43 PM
11

Agree. It seems like dating advice for men comes down to: How to fuck as many women as possible, as quickly as possible, with as little effort as possible. Gross. And they wonder why we don’t swoon.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 09:34 PM
5

I agree that generic sexual attention from men doesn’t mean anything to us. Men (as a group) will stick their dicks in anything. Leftover lasagna, bagels, lunch meat, couch cushions, ziplock bags with Vaseline. Y’all be wild. A man who just wants to stick his dick in you basically considers you a sentient leftover lasagna. Being seen with as much lust as a leftover lasagna doesn’t make women feel special. Being treated like a leftover lasagna doesn’t make women feel less lonely. We only feel spe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 09:29 PM
1

If you think women who wear a certain style of makeup necessarily do all of that, and do ALL of it CONSTANTLY, that’s a different question. I’m sure some do, but there’s no indication that’s what OP is advocating. I probably do quite a bit more than “an average professional woman”. I buy only luxury makeup, skincare, perfumes, and hair stuff. I go to upscale hair salons, I go to an aesthetician, I’ve gotten liposuction multiple times, I get cosmetic dentistry, I buy designer clothes and heels fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 05:36 AM
2

I have a high income and spend freely on beauty. My social circle is pretty much all professionals (other lawyers, doctors, business owners, etc.) and I get plenty of interest from those kinds of men. I don’t mean to sound braggy at all, but straight up: I invest in looking good, and it seems like it shows. And I’ve never spent more than a few grand a year on beauty. It’s definitely not cheap, and yeah you could always buy unlimited crap and spend unlimited money. But that’s absolutely not requi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 01:53 AM
0

Oh I see. Yeah, escapism is bad news, I get it. I had a boyfriend in high school who smoked weed as a form of escapism, and he ended up getting into harder drugs and ruining his life. Last I heard he was on opiates and had spent some time in jail. I still can’t help but see smoking weed as a red flag, even though a lot of people do it and are fine. I guess once you’ve been with an escapist, you always see their “form of escape” as a red flag when you see it in other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 11:48 PM
1

Why is it a red flag? Genuinely curious, never heard that before.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 09:23 PM
2

Sick burn bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 11:28 PM
8

Yep, none of us are responsible for anyone else’s feelings. Thank you for acknowledging that. I’ll continue giving zero fucks about a man’s feelings when I do and say whatever maximizes my chances of getting away from him as safely as possible. And thanks for the suggestion about wearing a ballistic vest - not even kidding. I hadn’t thought of that but I’m seriously going to get one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 10:24 PM
2

Thank you for the compassionate response, really. I am in therapy and it helps somewhat. I’m extremely fortunate to have the best support system ever. Honestly right now I feel like I will be “that level” terrified of men for the rest of my life, but it’s only been a few months so I hope it gets better over time. I’m really sad that I’m this afraid. I think sometimes men take women’s fear as some kind of arrogance or self-righteousness, but I can assure you we hate it a lot more than men do. It …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 07:53 PM
1

So what are you arguing for, if you think the trend is leaning your way?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 07:17 PM
7

I don’t appreciate your passive aggressiveness on me reporting a very personal incident. You should seriously be ashamed of yourself. And it’s also a silly assumption that this was a misdemeanor. Where did you even get that? I did report it, because I do care about women, and the guy is being prosecuted for at least 5 felonies and a misdemeanor. He could face longer than 55 years in prison. And of course lifetime sex offender registration. I don’t care if it’s a statistical minority. I’m saying …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 07:16 PM
1

I thought your whole argument was that women don’t approach men…?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 07:07 PM
4

Thanks for your comment. He is being prosecuted so I don’t want to get into too many gory details until the criminal proceedings are over. I will assure you there were absolutely no mitigating circumstances whatsoever. We worked together for years, no romantic or even friendship history. He’s almost 20 years older, married with a kid. He asked to get together (clearly in a romantic way), I said I don’t want to sneak around anybody’s marriage but for him to call me if his marriage ever ended. I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 07:02 PM
1

Females are sexual selectors and males are sexual competitors in every animal species ever studied. I doubt female fish and lizards and birds spend much time worrying about being slut shamed. It’s also true in every human culture, every geographic location, every time period. It’s the way things are. Being upset about it won’t change it. Accept reality and go from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 05:57 PM
1

Of course men and women are socialized differently. What’s your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 05:47 PM
1

Do you think leaving the house 5 days a week physically transforms a female brain into a male brain? I’ve been working outside the house for years and I assure you, my sexual mating instincts have not transformed into a man’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 05:44 PM
4

Oh this wasn’t a breakup, it was just declining his advance. There was no opportunity to ghost him, he attacked me during the same interaction. And I couldn’t really have ghosted him anyway because we work together.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 05:31 PM
1

Because we live on Earth, where men are sexual competitors and women are sexual selectors.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 05:22 PM
6

Well said. I’m genuinely indifferent to 99.999% of men. I don’t want or need to do anything more than screen/vet the ones who take the initiative.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 12:22 AM
-1

If a guy has average-or-better social competence, good self-esteem, and a high degree of interest in me, then he will take the initiative. If a guy does not take the initiative, it is because he lacks at least one of those things. He’s either socially incompetent, has low self esteem, and/or isn’t very interested in me. That means he isn’t someone I’d want to date, so there’s zero reason for me to try to date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 12:02 AM
0

Lazy = I need to do something but I’m gonna do nothing instead. Not lazy = I don’t need (or want) to do something so I don’t do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 11:50 PM
6

It happened to me. I’m afraid of it happening again so I’ll do or say anything to avoid it and would advise other women to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 11:39 PM
8

The last guy I rejected assaulted me a few minutes later. It happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 11:38 PM
36

The last guy I rejected assaulted me a few minutes later. It happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 11:37 PM
1

That’s so awesome that you get it, although I am sorry you felt grossed out by the second woman. I haven’t had a million partners (single digit), all of them LTRs, and even among that fairly small group, I had completely different likes and dislikes with each one. Sex is a back-and-forth exchange of energies, and so much of what I like/desire depends on my partner’s energy. Every partner really is different, just like you said, and you’re right that even our own tastes and preferences change ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:58 PM
1

Aw thanks! It was actually okay, he felt horribly guilty about hurting me and never asked to try it again. We stayed together for a long time and I didn’t hold it against him. He was a good person, he just wasn’t as naturally gentle and considerate in bed as the first guy. On its own, that’s not really a big deal. But when you’re asking someone to do something as tricky as anal (good descriptor), you have to defer to their decision of whether you’re the right partner for that. I always cringe wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:28 PM
0

No sweat. To each her own.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:19 PM
1

It’s all about odds, though. I’m totally making up numbers, but if a guy asks you out on a nice date in a serious, intentional way, let’s say there’s a sizable but minority chance he just wants to pump and dump and isn’t really interested in anything else. Maybe 20-30%? Depending on the guy? But if a guy knows you’re available and interested, and he still doesn’t ask you out, but he says ok when the woman asks, I’d put the odds at like 95%. You can never eliminate all risk, but you can avoid sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:18 PM
3

I told my next partner after that, that I had tried anal, and he sorta seemed like he felt a little entitled to do it with me. He didn’t demand it or anything, but he seemed to think I should be open to doing it with him since I had done it before. Same shit guys on this sub say. It hadn’t hurt the first time, so I agreed to do it with the new guy. Well we got ready for it, or so I thought, and he shocked me by doing NOTHING to warm me up. Just tried popping it in with a drop of lube like a fuck…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:10 PM
1

That’s actually a really cute story! I’m glad it went well for both of you, even if she wasn’t Your Person. Just to be clear, I think women should make the first move, always. And in my mind, I always do. I just don’t think asking someone out is the first move. Not by a lot. And I wouldn’t do it. I make the first move, and usually the second and third moves, too. I just refuse to be the first one to explicitly verbalize that “this is happening”. But there is (or should be) a lot that comes befor…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:46 PM
5

Totally. I’m never all that impressed with people who say they love to travel. In my experience, “traveling” just means spending a lot of money to get drunk with their friends in a different location. Meh.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 07:32 PM
0

At your own peril, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 07:08 PM
2

Totally agree. I’m not interested in the type of guy who I would have to ask out. So by definition, I’m not interested in any guy who expects me to do that. If a guy wants to have a standoff with me and refuse to ask me out just to make a point, that’s his loss, not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 06:53 PM
1

That’s a fair point in theory, but men can easily get around that. You just test the waters first with non-aggressive signals. Gym Guy would smile at me while we got set up for class (not pervy but targeted at me - clearly more than just being polite), try to get a spot near me, not bother me or ogle me during class, linger after class and make polite chit chat. He’d always stay 1 level flirtier than me, to see if I’d match his energy. If I wasn’t in the mood that day, he’d read that signal and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 06:17 PM
1

Not really, no. It’s not like those acts were particularly important to any of those guys. These weren’t anybody’s fetishes, nobody was being deprived of satisfaction, they were just sexual things that I enjoyed with others but not with that specific person. I don’t think any of them would’ve said I didn’t really like them (these were all LTRs and one was my ex-husband), or that we were “sexually incompatible”, just because I declined 1 random insignificant thing among the endless other things w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 05:17 PM
0

I personally would find it degrading to ask a man out. No hate on anybody who doesn’t feel that way, but I do. It’s not a matter of cowardice, it’s about dignity/self-respect. I make sure he knows I’m interested and available, but if he doesn’t take his cue from there, he obviously has an issue with at least one of us: either he doesn’t like me very much, or he has a self-esteem problem, or both. If I have to go so far as to ask for a date myself because he’s ignoring my signals, I’m already ign…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 05:00 PM
1

And if they don’t follow my instructions, or if they do and I still find a certain act painful or unpleasant with them, then what?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 04:47 PM
1

95% of what attracts me to a man is his charisma, 4.9% is his face, and 0.1% is his body. As long as his silhouette is vaguely human-shaped (not extremely fat, extremely skinny, or extremely muscular), it makes no difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 04:30 PM
2

If we don’t like short men, we’re shallow. If we do like short men, we’re users. If we won’t give short men a chance, we’re heartless. If we will give short men a chance, we’re settling and he deserves better. — “thE lOgiCaL sEx”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 04:14 PM
-1

Yep. Men’s attractiveness is 95% charisma, 5% looks. They’ll never believe us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 04:06 PM
1

What if she is very into the guy, but there’s something about him that makes a particular act painful or unpleasant for her? Like in any of the 4 examples I gave?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 03:57 PM
2

No, I agree with you. Women’s job is to make sure her fella knows she’s interested and available. Flirt, laugh at his dumb jokes, flip your hair, bite your lip, follow him around like a puppy, walk by and drop your handkerchief at his feet and point to make sure he sees it, tattoo the words “JOSH ASK ME OUT” on your forehead. Women gauge men’s interest by cuing him to ask us out. If we scream in his face that we’re interested and available and he just stands there like a bump on a pickle, he’s e…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 03:52 PM
1

Someone should dump me because I don’t want to do sexual acts that they make painful or unpleasant?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 03:18 PM
1

Talking and flirting is a completely different thing than asking a man out. Obviously we talk and flirt, that’s how we make sure he knows we’re available and interested. You can’t just stand there thinking about a man and expect something to happen. But if he knows you’re available and interested and doesn’t ask you out, then he either doesn’t like you that much or has a self-esteem issue. It’s like those old cartoons where the girl walks by a boy and drops her handkerchief in front of him, so t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 03:09 PM
1

Western cultural reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 02:58 PM
0

Same. I’m 35F and lately finding myself only attracted to men with at least some signs of aging: salt-&-pepper or gray hair, deep crows feet or laugh lines, etc. Even 5 years ago I would’ve said “eww, he looks like somebody’s dad,” but now they just look hot. When I see guys who don’t look a little aged, I can’t see them in a sexual way, they look like kids. Even when they’re older than me, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 12:33 PM
3

Accurate. It takes a LOT (I mean a LOT) for me to sexually desire a man but once I do, it’s physically impossible for him to keep up. There’s simply no point where I’ve had enough. Satiety does not exist for me. It causes issues. The best anyone ever did was 6x in a day, and I would’ve happily kept going.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 12:19 PM
1

But there are certain acts you don’t want to do with certain people. I think men don’t always grasp how much more invasive sex is for women, and how much more is done “to us”. Our comfort or discomfort with the exact same acts can vary widely from guy to guy. Gonna get graphic here, but hear me out. I don’t mind a load in my mouth if the taste of that guy’s cum isn’t too strong — there’s a lot of variation. I’ve had a guy whose cum almost tasted like water. But I refused for a guy who I knew (fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:58 AM
7

Yeah, context means nothing around here. I tried anal with a longtime boyfriend once. This was ages ago, but he remains the gentlest, most considerate, most attentive sexual partner I’ve ever had, to this day. We’d been together for about 2 years and talked about it for a while before trying it. He read a ton of stuff online about how to make sure he wouldn’t hurt me, used a ton of lube, did everything super slow, took plenty of time getting me warmed up, paused to check in every step of the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 11:17 AM
7

Same, girl, high five! I’ll put out when I feel like it. Not a moment sooner. And I’ll “feel like it” when I’m confident there are high levels of mutual connection, affection, warmth, trust, respect, etc. Maybe it takes a few months, maybe it takes more. Build that shit with me or gtfo, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:48 AM
1

Other than referring to women as bitches, I surprisingly agree with this list.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:29 AM
3

A man who is interested and confident will ask a woman out. If a man doesn’t ask a woman out, he either lacks interest or confidence or both. Pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:26 AM
2

If the man was really interested and confident he’d make his interest known. If a woman was really interested and then saw that the man isn’t asking her out, then the woman knows the man lacks interest or confidence or both. Thus the woman realizes the man isn’t what she’s looking for, she shrugs it off and moves on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:24 AM
1

Yeah, this is wild. Now women are supposed to actively pursue the men who are too timid or awkward to ever approach us, and ignore men who pursue us because clearly they don’t actually like us. I swear this sub is satire sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:18 AM
1

The tiny group of men who never approach women aren’t worth dating, let alone asking out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:15 AM
2

Not the same thing. Women typically reject men if they’re not at least a little bit interested in him. Yeah, we know, some women on apps just want free dinner. Ok, moving on. When a woman says yes to a date IRL, it’s generally safe to assume she has at least a little bit of interest in the man, probably quite a lot. The opposite is not true. Many men are so thirsty they’d say yes to a woman they had no interest in, and pretend to be interested for as long as it takes to use her for whatever she’…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:11 AM
3

Guys who don’t approach are either not that interested, not that confident, or both. Not worth asking out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:59 AM
5

I’m not the one you asked, but my position is this: I’d only ever want to date a man who is very confident and very interested. If a man isn’t asking me out, it can only be because he has low interest, low confidence, or both. In other words, a man who doesn’t ask me out is, by definition, not what I’m looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:48 AM
2

What I’m saying is exactly what FDS says! Either get an LTR/marriage with a man who respects your boundaries and meets all of your standards— or take care of yourself and find happiness being single. Don’t bother with any guy who falls short. There’s no dilemma. Have you ever actually been on FDS? That’s the entire theme.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:30 AM
1

There’s no dilemma, though. You seem to be operating from the premise that women’s desire for commitment is the same as men’s desire for casual sex. In other words, you seem to think women crave commitment such that we basically want it from “any man, any time, any place” and our self-worth crumbles if we don’t get it. Not accurate. If a woman can support herself financially, and most Western women generally can, then male companionship is an optional “nice to have” not a “need to have”. It’s st…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:11 AM
1

So what’s your suggestion? That women should only seek commitment from ugly, broke men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 12:51 AM
2

Seeking commitment from ugly, broke men is obviously a worse strategy, though. Pretty self-explanatory. So what’s your suggestion?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 12:47 AM
1

FDS doesn’t say men “aren’t allowed to do XYZ”. They say if a man doesn’t meet your standards and/or doesn’t respect your boundaries, reject him or dump him. That’s a healthy and normal practice for everybody. If you choose to set a standard, you’re not forcing other people to meet it, you’re just declining to waste your time dating the people who don’t. If a man were to say: “I’m only interested in dating women who have a healthy BMI,” he’s not saying women aren’t “allowed” to be any weight the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 12:36 AM
3

When women talk about wanting commitment from a “HVM”, do you honestly think they’re saying they want commitment from a man who has impregnated as many women as possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 11:54 PM
0

What do you think the words “transaction” and “detriment” mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/22 11:29 AM
1

Yes, there are male “looks” that are attractive to higher or lower percentages of women, of course. A better rating scale for men than the “1-10 scale” might be: “That guy would be in __% of women’s maybe piles.” So one lucky guy might be a “maybe” for 80% of women, a different-looking guy for 70%, a third guy for 10%, a fourth guy for 6%, a fifth guy for 2%. All of these guys could be in the same woman’s “maybe pile,” even though they have very different appeal levels to women overall. And that…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/22 11:20 AM
2

The difference between a transactional and symbiotic relationship is whether the parties perceive there to be a detriment to themselves. In a transaction, both parties suffer a detriment in order to get a benefit. The happiness is all in the benefit. You pay a hooker $20 for a quickie. Losing the $20 is your detriment, and your happiness is the quickie. The quickie is the hooker’s detriment, and her happiness is the $20. In a healthy romantic symbiosis, a woman doesn’t perceive sex as a detrimen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/22 02:19 AM
17

Nope, but I can’t get you a study saying humans have butts, either. Sometimes you can get information through your own eyes and ears.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 04:09 PM
28

Nothing makes a woman feel safer than being in the presence of a fearless man. It’s an understatement to call it the absolute pinnacle. There are different flavors of fearless men. “Bad boys” are one flavor.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 02:24 PM
1

It tracks perfectly. We only want the men who are attractive to us, individually. I never said anything like “the best genes,” that’s a scary political/eugenics concept that I am NOT about and do NOT believe in. You probably just assumed that “the best” means men who look cartoonishly hyper-masculine (freakishly tall, buff, chiseled jaw, etc.). That’s what “the best men” means to men, not necessarily to women. Plus those are definitely not “the best genes” because tall muscular people require a …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/22 06:36 AM
1

Definitely not. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a teeny tiny minority of men who would be in virtually all women’s “no” pile, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t. I mean, there are guys on My 600 Pound Life who look like Jabba the Hutt and have long-term romantic partners who love them so much they wipe their shitty asses, lol. Granted, I think there’s a good chunk of men who would never be in the “maybe” pile of the women they actually want. And some men’s options may be few a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 07:20 AM
2

Great point! Never considered this before! And I’d personally smash Gordon Ramsay even though I think he’s ugly as dogshit! He has classic big dick energy, I’d let him wreck me in a heartbeat, lol. That’s a perfect example of a man who’s both very ugly and very attractive. They really are not the same concept at all!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 05:53 AM
1

Okay, that’s fair, let’s say romantic partnerships then. Everything I’ve said remains the same. If women can support ourselves financially, we have two options, both of which are fine. Our first option is a romantic partnership with a man we love and want. Our second option, usually only exercised if the first one fails, is being independent and finding fulfillment without long-term romantic partnership (family, friends, dating for fun, career, travel, hobbies, etc.). Women are generally perfect…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 01:37 AM
1

You are purposefully ignoring my argument that women are not obligated to mate with men we find gross, just so those men feel emotionally fulfilled. Men’s emotional fulfillment is not more valuable than women’s, and there’s no reason we should sacrifice ours for yours. It is not women’s problem whatsoever if some men feel sad that we won’t mate with them. Life isn’t always perfect, deal with it. Both men and women are capable of being single and happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 01:18 AM
3

For me, the line is drawn when things become secretive. In other words, when you’re doing or saying things with your “friend” that you wouldn’t want your partner to know about. The exact place the line is drawn will vary case-by-case, but secrecy is never part of a truly platonic friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 02:53 PM
4

If men’s only reason for participating in society is the possibility of sex, then that is men’s moral failing to reflect on and correct — not women’s. Women have no responsibility to sacrifice our bodies to bandaid over that shit. If a bunch of guys just want to run away to the woods because they can’t get laid, they should do it. And when I say men have other reasons to participate in society, I’m not talking about “passions” or things you’d “die for”. I’m not talking about emotional fulfillmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 02:33 PM
2

Why would society stop functioning just because a bunch of men don’t get laid? Surely the members of the Logical Sex see much more value in having a society, than just the possibility that women who find him repulsive might be coerced into mating with him. There’s more to life than that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 01:41 PM
-1

Is sex (or the possibility of sex) the only reason you participate in society now?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 01:24 PM
4

If by “destroy society as we know it,” you mean “stop mating with men we find gross,” then yes, obviously. Are you… in favor of almost half the population being coerced into reproducing with mates they find gross??
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 07:07 AM
6

Divorce and custody issues aren’t caused by women having sexual autonomy, though, and the costs aren’t unique to men. The default is to split child custody and community property (assets earned during the marriage), 50/50, and to order no alimony. Each spouse keeps their separate property in full (assets earned before the marriage). If either spouse wants to argue for more than 50/50 or for any alimony, they have the burden of proof to show why it’s necessary. Courts are generally pretty relucta…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:37 AM
1

Fair enough. The reason I put “crappy job” is because in my analogy, you’re a high school dropout, so pretty much any job that matches your qualifications is going to suck. For an average or below average woman, her male “equivalent” is probably not going to be attractive to her. Or at least, he’s probably going to be less attractive to her than just staying single (assuming she can still have a decent quality of life on her own). I can definitely understand why some men feel frustrated about th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:16 AM
4

What financial and legal consequences do men unfairly bear for women having sexual autonomy? I’m not being snarky, I’m genuinely not sure what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 05:50 AM
3

So true. There is a huge difference between “men whose looks I acknowledge are conventionally attractive to most people by Western standards” versus “men who I’m magnetically drawn to and want to climb like a freakin tree”. They are NOT the same men, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 05:25 AM
19

Oh definitely! I’ve commented before that the biological reality is this: Women’s sexual choices shape the species — it’s not “fair” but nature rarely is — and “The Patriarchy” is men’s attempt to level the playing field and get women to mate with men they don’t choose. The moment we’re liberated, we shoot our shot for the best male mates and make peace with being single if the best male mates don’t choose us back. That’s just our nature. It’s normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 04:36 AM
2

Analogy: You’re a high school dropout with a big enough trust fund to live comfortably for the rest of your life. You never “have to” work. Then you hear about a dream job opportunity that sounds awesome: travel the world, meet famous people, save wild animals, whatever. Sounds better than doing nothing! You know you might not be the most qualified candidate, but you apply anyway and try your best. Worth a shot, right? Bummer, you’re not the most qualified and you don’t get the dream job. Oh wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 04:20 AM
14

Why would I care? If I see a couple that looks like they might have some big difference between them (obese/skinny, young/old, polished/sloppy, etc.), I might spend half a second wondering if the disparity causes any tension between them, but that’s not a judgment of either one. It’s just me being nosy, lol. And I forget all about it as soon as they’re out of sight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 09:50 PM
22

Yep. Men seem to rate women on a bell curve scale, for example “1-10”, with the midpoint being average. They’re apparently capable of feeling attracted to a big chunk of the bell curve. Women aren’t like this. Our ratings of men, if you can even call them that, are binary: “Might Want” or “Don’t Want”. The vast majority of men are in the second group, and we couldn’t feel attracted to them if we tried. There is no special middle group for “average men”, because that’s not a category that exists …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 09:30 PM
5

Exactly this. It’s no delusion to shoot your shot with the people you like, and just be single if your interest isn’t reciprocated. People might be frustrated and complain about it, sure, but that doesn’t mean anyone would be better off to pair up with someone they’re not into, just for the sake of not being single. Whenever the idea of women pairing up with men they’re not attracted to is discussed, we see posts from men whining about “women using men for their money,” “beta bucks,” “selfish na…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 08:30 PM
1

I think your family is going about things in a horrible way and you shouldn’t give in to that. Definitely don’t start getting into fights or trying to be someone you’re not. With that being said, though, I do think there’s a grain of truth to your observation. Your family is trying to encourage you to behave in a way that they think is likely to be attractive to your potential romantic partners, so that you’ll have better odds of finding and keeping a romantic partner if/when you want one. It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 04:41 PM
6

Not so. I defended a 50s male lawyer from getting fired and disbarred for having one consensual sexual liaison with a 20s female colleague. The theory was that, given the age gap, he must have abused his superior position or tricked her in some way, even if the young woman didn’t realize it. We prevailed only after showing surveillance video from the hotel. Yep. I won’t go into more detail, lol. He kept his bar license, but his reputation will never recover. These things are not taken lightly on…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 03:13 AM
6

As a single 30s lawyer who’s around other lawyers all day every day, my sense is that lawyers married to other lawyers (or at least other professionals) are leagues happier than those married to non-lawyers. Everything I’m about to say is about DC-area litigators, which are the wartime lawyers who practice in the kill-or-be-killed arena of federal courts, in the most cutthroat competitive legal market in the country. I have no idea how much my observations would apply to transactional lawyers (g…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 01:34 AM
10

I wouldn’t say it’s representative of their “character”, but their attitude toward sex, which is less about morals and more about their own views and experiences. It’s all about compatibility and context. For me, sex is an intimate, special connection that I reserve for people with whom I have deep mutual care, warmth, trust, and affection. For me, that depth of connection just can’t exist outside of a committed, monogamous LTR or at least a very close long-term friendship. But I also don’t rese…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 11:17 PM
338

Prostitution is legal as long as it’s being filmed (porn) and domestic violence is revered and praised as long as the woman is naked (violent “kinks”).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 07:32 AM
7

Toxic masculinity pumps up or validates your own ego at other people’s expense. Neutral masculinity is for yourself, doesn’t really harm or help anyone else. Positive masculinity is acting for both yourself and the people around you (being a good leader, teacher, supporter, protector, etc.). Example: Being competitive is considered a masculine characteristic. Nothing wrong with being competitive, it’s great. A normal man will be happy when he wins but he won’t gloat or criticize others for their…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 04:52 PM
2

I didn’t say you actually do it, I said you subconsciously want to do it, just like I subconsciously want to be sexy for men while I’m sitting on my couch home alone. Trust me, all men subconsciously want to do that. You might not think you do, but you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 12:52 PM
2

Like I said, I know you probably think you don’t want to give all your money away, but subconsciously you do. It’s just biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 12:14 PM
2

Ok. From now on I’ve decided you want to give all your money away to women. You might think you want to keep some of your own money, but I (a woman) know all men want to be providers so trust me. I’m positive you definitely want to give all your money away to random Instathots. It’s all in your subconscious, silly, you wouldn’t understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 10:07 PM
5

I remember an elderly high school teacher telling us that home air conditioning drastically changed American life. Before that, houses were so goddamn hot and stuffy in the summer that you pretty much HAD to go out. Anywhere outdoors (hot but at least there’s fresh air and hopefully a breeze) or to cooler indoor spaces like shops or museums. Parents sat on the lawn and drank while the kids played in the sprinklers, so everybody got to know their neighbors. With home air conditioning, everybody j…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 05:10 PM
1

I get what you’re saying and I agree with you for the most part. Like I said, when I wear makeup and go out, then sure, I’m partly doing it for others. I just respectfully disagree that when I wear makeup to chill alone on my couch, I’m doing it because I’m fantasizing about being sexy for men. That just isn’t a thought that’s ever entered my head in my entire life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 02:31 AM
1

Just no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 02:26 AM
2

But you’re forgetting that passing on your genes doesn’t end when you impregnate a woman or even when she gives birth. You’ve only securely passed on your genes when the resulting children survive to reproductive age and have their own children. Children of men who rape and run are much less likely to survive to that point than children of men who stick around to help make sure the kid survives and thrives long enough to repeat the cycle. Obviously I’m talking long term caveman shit here. And I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 10:19 PM
3

That’s a fair point. I think that from men’s point of view (which is half of all humans), patriarchy is a “natural” response to the risk that a man won’t get to pass on his genes. I don’t know one way or the other whether men are biologically prone to patriarchal tendencies. I don’t know how you’d study that, since everyone is conditioned and socialized in an environment with too many compounding variables to control. But I can accept the possibility that there’s something in men that makes them…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 10:01 PM
1

The post claimed women only wear makeup to increase their SMV. If I put on makeup in the morning, don’t leave my apartment or see a single person all day, and take it off at night, I’m definitely not wearing it to increase my SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:59 PM
1

The post claimed women only wear makeup to increase their SMV. If I put on makeup in the morning, don’t leave my apartment or see a single person all day, and take it off at night, I’m definitely not wearing it to increase my SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:59 PM
1

The post claimed women only wear makeup to increase their SMV. If I put on makeup in the morning, don’t leave my apartment or see a single person all day, and take it off at night, I’m definitely not wearing it to increase my SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:59 PM
1

The post claimed women only wear makeup to increase their SMV. If I put on makeup in the morning, don’t leave my apartment or see a single person all day, and take it off at night, I’m definitely not wearing it to increase my SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:59 PM
4

When everyone has full bodily autonomy, women’s sexual choices literally shape the species, and those choices are not based on kindness or fairness. Most men would never get to reproduce. “Patriarchy” is the unifying descriptor of aaaaaaaaaaaall the ways society tries to get women to mate with men they don’t choose. It is the ghoulish attempt to forcefully perpetuate genes everyone knows are unchosen and unwanted, against the choosers’ wills. Virtually all cultures are patriarchal to some degree…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 03:08 PM
1

What does doing something “for yourself” mean to you? I’m not being rhetorical or sarcastic, I’m actually curious what definition you’re using. To me, it means doing something where the sole or primary “reward” is my own positive feelings. I wear makeup when I’m home alone because it’s relaxing to apply and I enjoy seeing my natural features enhanced. The products are delicate and girly, they smell nice, my brushes are soft, and I just kinda get to listen to music or a tv show and do this lovely…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 02:28 PM
4

Now kiss.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 05:38 PM
5

Home alone with no human contact during the pandemic I put on makeup every day. Relaxing way to start the day and I like looking cute in the mirror. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 05:58 AM
–

Aww, thanks! Trying to see things from others’ perspective is always the answer. You know, I have a theory that people who were raised with opposite-sex siblings generally are more empathetic and kind to the opposite sex when they date. Yes yes, many exceptions of course. I have a little brother who I’ve always been close to, and whenever I’m tempted to be rude to some schlub who’s awkwardly trying to get up in my business, I consciously try to reject him the way I’d want chicks to reject my bro…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 07:44 AM
1

Oh babe, if you only knew. Buckle in. I am hopelessly and helplessly attracted to men who aren’t conventionally hot. I can’t help it, I like people with “character” (cute flaws). Most guys I’ve dated are decent looking overall but with some (low key hilarious) quirk that takes him out of the Chad category. Bald as an egg, short (I’m 5’3” and have dated guys at my eye level), big man titties, gap between front teeth, shoulders narrower than mine, super underweight, etc. I once dated a guy whose u…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 05:28 AM
–

Great point! Totally agree that men generally don’t have as many opportunities for validation as women. Ugh, I can’t even imagine getting all emotionally invested in one dude and he rejects me and nobody else tells me how perfect I am, lol. Jesus, how do you guys keep getting back on the horse? I’d never recover, that sounds like a fucking nightmare!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 03:53 AM
0

I wouldn’t necessarily say borderline abusive, I’d say garden variety crappy. Sample size is personal experience and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 03:19 AM
4

Not even in the top 10, I’d say, lmao! Whenever men here complain that women treat men as disposable, I just want to rip my hair out and be like, “Then stop fucking acting disposable! Grow some goddamn standards and quit simping for every chick who looks in your general direction!” 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:05 PM
1

There’s no inherent value in having just any random boyfriend, no. A lot of “average” guys are more trouble than they’re worth when it comes to relationships. They’re clingy, whiny, insecure, and always seeking reassurance and attention. And that’s not the worst case scenario. Often they either get enraged that someone “better” is patronizing them by dating them or they get paranoid you’ll leave them for another man, and then they turn really nasty. Men tend to assume that average or below-avera…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 01:45 PM
3

Many men with options will just dick and dip. Totally. Average men are clingy as fuck, though. Not all of them obviously, but average women can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some rando who wants to be her boyfriend. Any woman who isn’t fat and doesn’t have a manly haircut can find herself on some average dude’s pedestal within a couple of days. Seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 03:58 AM
13

Maybe this is weird, but I want to say I’m sorry you were treated badly. I never take pleasure in hearing that men have been treated cruelly by women. We can be very cruel, but we can also choose not to be. I knew a guy who had an extremely emotionally abusive wife and he killed himself. He had another major crisis going on so I know for sure it wasn’t just that, but maybe he would’ve felt the other crisis was survivable if he had felt loved and wanted at home. We’ll never know. I think women do…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 03:40 AM
6

There are 8 billion people on the planet and still increasing. The species is at no risk of dying out from women’s mating choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:35 AM
10

I disagree with the pejorative comments about women, but I 100% agree that if anyone (male it female) gets to a point where they’ve accepted that they’re never going to get the kind of romantic relationship they want, the solution isn’t to lower their standards but to make a conscious choice to find fulfillment in all the other wonderful things life has to offer. There’s much more happiness to be found solo than in a “meh” relationship. It’s been my experience that women seem to have a much easi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:32 AM
-1

I don’t get it. Where’s the money talk coming from?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:10 AM
26

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:12 PM
2

There’s an obvious difference between “What’s the compliment you think your SO would be most flattered to hear?” versus “Why are you with your SO?” The answers to those two questions are not the same for either gender. Am I correct that women are supposed to pretend they’re the same question? So when we’re asked why we’re with our SO, we’re supposed to say it’s because his little pp is the most magical special pp in the whole wide world and every other boy’s little pp is dumb and bad? In return,…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:09 PM
7

Right? Male sexlessness isn’t a problem that needs solving, it’s mammalian sexual selection 101. A lot of men don’t get to pass on their genes. They just don’t. Same thing happens to countless males in countless other animal species. I truly empathize because that would feel horrible to not have that option, but if our ancient female ancestors had prioritized “tReAtiNg MeN fAirLy” and mating only with their “LoOkSmAtcH”, we’d all still be swinging from trees.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:46 AM
1

Just want to say I’m impressed with your level of civility, OP. I don’t agree with everything you say but you seem like a decent dude!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:39 AM
1

Ok, I see what you’re saying, I mostly agree. But I do respectfully disagree that this means older women get “less”. If a man doesn’t love, value, or respect me because of something as universal as aging, then I don’t consider it a loss because I’d never want to partner with someone like that anyway. Analogy: You go to a shoe store looking for men’s boots in a size 11. The shoe store is all out of sandals, running shoes, kids’ sneakers, and everything in a men’s size 8. None of these shortages a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:00 PM
2

Nobody “gave” women freedom. People are inherently free. Men wrongfully took women’s freedom and we are rightfully taking it back. We owe no debt. I’m not sure who you’re so angry at, but it isn’t me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 10:42 PM
2

I agree that modern Western men are the best that any cohort of men has ever been. And even with that being the case, women who attain economic independence largely would rather be alone, i.e., women seem to feel that once they can ensure their own survival, partnering with men (even the best men that have ever existed on the face of this planet) is a worse option than celibacy and solitude. That speaks volumes. It’s incredibly depressing for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 06:39 AM
10

Of course we realize it. The fact that other women have it worse doesn’t mean we have to be silent about the issues that still affect us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 04:47 AM
–

I think you’re conflating “men desiring women in their 20s” and “men desiring ONLY women in their 20s and refusing all other women”. I get that men are most physically attracted to women in their 20s, but that doesn’t mean they’re not happy to be in relationships with women their own age. Similar to how women might be most physically attracted to pro athletes or celebrities but are happy to be in relationships with men who are not pro athletes or celebrities. Having a fantasy ideal doesn’t mean …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 11:25 PM
–

I agree and I don’t think this is very different from dating dynamics in any other age group. Men with tons of options can play the field and break as many hearts as they want. Outside of that small group, women are in control. The population of single people decreases with age as people pair off, but the dynamic stays the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 11:12 PM
–

Yes, it is better for society if men who resent women so much that they feel compelled to leave us alone do exactly that. Resentful men don’t make good partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 11:05 PM
–

True. When I was 19/20 I had a neighbor who was 33/34 and always trying to hook up with me. Even at that young age I knew no one his age could have good intentions with someone barely out of high school. He couldn’t understand why I chose to date other college students (you know, people I actually had things in common with) instead of him. His pitch was that he had a Mercedes and a cool job and could buy me stuff. Gave me the ick. Pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 10:58 PM
1

You know in those old-timey movies where the man is sitting on a bench and the woman walks by in her most feminine seductive walk and “accidentally” drops her handkerchief at the man’s feet and keeps walking? And then the man valiantly rushes after her to return the handkerchief and she thanks him and fawns on him, and then he starts a conversation, and they live happily ever after? Yeah, that’s the most accurate metaphor for the human mating ritual. A woman chooses a man and initiates indirect …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:07 PM
3

Same with the early puberty, girl, I feel you. I was a super tall kid (stopped growing at age 10 so I’m only 5’3” now), started having to wear a training bra in 3rd grade and got my period right when I turned 9. I can’t really remember a time in my life when men weren’t disgusting perverts toward me, and it has definitely affected my worldview. People who didn’t go through that have no idea (and would never believe) how many normal-seeming men go full pedo when no other adults are around. They’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:38 PM
2

Nobody likes that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:18 PM
4

Oh yes, the Bundy vibe! I know exactly what you’re talking about, I encounter that one on the metro a few times a week, lol. Just to entertain myself because I know they’re too timid to actually do anything, I like to stare back and match their energy. Crazy-eyed unflinching glare, blank facial expression, thinking evil thoughts. It takes about 0.02 seconds before they look away sheepishly, but I hold my satanic glare till one of us gets off the train, I don’t care how long it takes. Nothing fun…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:11 PM
5

When I was 20 pounds heavier and didn’t work out, I was a 7.6 (or so the internet rated me, lol), so I’m guessing now I’d be around an 8. My answer is that it depends what you mean by “approached”. I live and work in a major city. Men whistling, making lewd comments, and seeking nonverbal permission to approach (making it obvious they’re checking me out and trying to make flirty eye contact) is relentless. Monday through Sunday. My grocery store is a block away and I can’t run out for a carton o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 10:58 PM
1

I definitely think they take certain things too far, but the basic principles are solid. Bottom line is that the only romantic relationships worth having are the ones that - overall - ADD to your happiness rather than take away from it. Examples: Let men pursue you (showing interest is fine); have sex only when you feel safe and ready; only do sexual acts you’re comfortable doing; only date men who show that they’re actually interested in you as a person, not just lonely or horny; don’t do “girl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 11:06 PM
2

Someone who I consider HV would never say, “I want to date a pretty girl, and I don’t care if she has any confidence, goals, an education, a job, or if she takes care of herself, if she has friends, if she’s a doormat, or even if she has other people in her life who care about her. As long as she’s pretty and has cute clothes, then I’m all hers.” That’s some of the most LV shit I’ve ever heard, lol! I’m sure you’re trolling — you MUST have higher standards than that. HVM have their pick of women…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 04:13 AM
3

I’m not saying every guy in the world wants to be with every woman in the world. I’m saying that generally, the reality of dating for women is about screening men who are pursuing us (what FDS calls “vetting”), not about pursuing men ourselves. The commenter above me was suggesting that “vetting” strategies aren’t actually “dating” strategies, so I was pointing out that for women, unlike men, they’re pretty much the same thing. Yes there are exceptions obviously, but in general women have more o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 07:07 PM
5

Think again, amigo! I’ve worked with hundreds of domestic violence perpetrators and victims (I’m a lawyer) and I’ve seen plenty of attractive, successful, pleasant women fall prey. None of us are immune to the risks, and women with high RMV are particularly at risk because they tend to assume it can’t happen to them, so they don’t have their guard up. The most common perpetrators of domestic violence are men with respectable jobs who have a lot of power/authority at work, such as cops and doctor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 06:23 PM
10

You’re assuming that “dating strategies” mean the same thing for both sexes, but that’s just not true. For men, it’s about getting women to accept your advances. Things that achieve that goal are effective dating strategies for men. For women, it’s all about filtering through the endless barrage of men who will say and do anything to bang you, and searching for the rare few who might actually have your best interests at heart. Things that achieve that goal are good dating strategies for women. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 08:12 AM
16

Can confirm. I have always lived by only a slightly less extreme version of FDS and there have always been guys trying to deliver. I lurk there for funzies, but when I discovered it, I was like, “Uh… you mean dating like a normal self-respecting woman?” But seriously, I wish all of them the best. Many are just doing their best to break (sometimes generational) patterns of abuse and trauma. Not easy tasks. Good on them for aiming higher.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 07:21 AM
5

Things like: (1) when they drop you off after a date, walk you to your door or at least wait until you’re inside before driving away, (2) if they have a car, being willing to pick you up if you get stuck somewhere unexpectedly (work late and miss the last train, designated driver ended up drinking, etc.), (3) checking in when you’re sick and offering to pick up medicine or food for you. Just having a mindset of caring about your well-being. Yes, women can and should have a caring mindset for the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 05:53 PM
8

I’m a 34F and I’d consider a relationship with a single dad, depending on his specific situation. For me, probably the two biggest factors would be the attitude of the kids’ mother, and the ages/attitude of the kids themselves. I think it’s important for all the adults raising kids (both the parents and step-parents) to be on the “same team,” so to speak, so I wouldn’t join a parenting team if the kids’ mother was going to be hostile to me. If the mom is a jerk, if she’s the type to bad-mouth me…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 05:58 AM
11

I had an ex call me asking to bail him out of jail one time, too! I had broken up with him the year before, in large part because I found out he was a drug user. (Doesn’t make him a bad person, but when it comes to a potential partner, that’s a dealbreaker for me.) He was arrested for possession with intent to sell. He had never been arrested before, so I guess he thought I’d feel sorry for him or something? I laughed my ass off for about 20 seconds and then hung up on him. Never got that stupid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:58 AM
25

Wow, way to call me out, lol. I needed this reminder exactly today. Thanks for sending me my sign, sis, I’ve literally been waiting for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:11 PM
15

What college has an on-campus abortion clinic? Skeptical but let’s see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/20 08:35 PM
1

Some girls will not be attracted to you because of your height, but probably fewer than you think and even fewer as you get older and people mature and generally get less superficial. I’m 33F and I’ve seen how dating priorities evolve as people grow up. For men, confidence is always the name of the game, though. It sets you apart like nothing else can. I’m a 5’3” F and every guy I have dates or seriously liked has been 5’5” to 6’. The idea of a guy being over 6’ feels awkward to me, it feels lik…
/r/seduction12/07/20 01:40 AM
2

It sounds like you have some real economic grievances. I’m keeping my discussion to relations between the sexes because that’s what this thread has mainly been about. But for the record, I am sorry you’re feeling unappreciated in your job. I’ve felt that way before, and it’s hurtful and discouraging. A Subway gift card is no way to reward someone, Subway fuckin sucks, that’s the most wack “recognition” ever. I don’t think you sound dumb. I think you sound very frustrated, in which case you defin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 03:02 AM
4

I actually agree with some of what you’re saying. Gross generalizations, yes, but I agree there can be a tendency for the sexes to have a bit of unspoken mutual exploitation, even as they need each other make each others’ lives whole. I suspect you’re misunderstanding a lot of where I’m coming from. I’m not ashamed of being old school. I want a man in my life. A good one. An attractive one. One other women want. I feel better when I have a man around. I love the way they move and smell and speak…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 02:34 AM
2

I’m so happy you had a partner who helped you during what sounds like a rough time, that’s awesome. I wish my ex had been more open minded to exploring possible physical causes, but he never gave any indication that he felt we had a problem. He just got defensive, which is a bad reaction but also a very human one. I understand that it hurt his ego, but I couldn’t exactly just stay silent, ya know? We just reached an impasse, sadly. Good on you and your partner for being more self-honest than me …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 01:48 AM
2

Ok. I would have liked to hear your perspective, sounds like you might have some interesting things to say. No worries, though. Have a nice evening.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:29 AM
2

Maybe it is a given, but I don’t understand wanting to have a committed romantic relationship with someone who who you don’t want to have sex with on a regular basis. For me personally, romantic and sexual feelings go hand in hand. If I don’t want sex with someone, I don’t want a committed relationship with them either, and vice versa. That’s what I don’t get. Why propose and get married and try to have a baby with someone who doesn’t turn you on, ever? Just a rhetorical question, but that’s wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:23 AM
1

Yeah, no evidence of porn addiction that I ever saw, but I never violated his privacy so if he made any real effort to hide it, he probably could have. I asked him to get his testosterone checked, he always said he’d make the appointment soon but never did. The reality is that for whatever reason, he had no interest in changing things but he’d say whatever he needed to say to get me off his back for that moment. I really appreciate the sentiment that it wasn’t my fault, it’s kind of you to say, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:17 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:10 AM
1

Honestly, big hugs and high fives to you, for being proactive about trying to keep desire alive in your relationships. That’s super cool of you to be mindful of making sure things don’t just go stale. You sound like a good dude, I hope you find who you’re looking for, if you haven’t yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:09 AM
4

When you say things were working “properly,” it sounds like you mean they were working “for men,” which... no, those aren’t the same thing. The only reason I was able to leave a very sad and harmful situation was because I had a good education and ability to support myself financially. In the old days, I’d still be stuck crying myself to sleep every night wondering what’s wrong with me. Now, since men don’t get to “control” me or my sexuality, I get to live on my own terms. My life isn’t perfect…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 12:02 AM
3

How do you know what women were like “back then” if you weren’t around “back then”? Sounds like a bias, like when people go, oh they don’t make good music like they did in the 80s! When there was an equal amount of shitty music in the 80s but only the good stuff has survived. I bet whatever mythical time period you’re referring to had cool and shitty women just like we have now, but only the cool ones got remembered so you think that’s all there was “back then,” lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 07:40 PM
3

If you think what you’re doing to your gf is funny, you’re wrong. You’re ruining another person’s life, and the damage you’re doing will long outlive your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 07:36 PM
2

Key thing you’re missing: he’s my EX husband. If your gf will be happier without her, let her go before she hates you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 07:24 PM
7

I never berated my ex husband. Ever. I loved and cherished him and wanted nothing more than to be intimate to him, physically and emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 07:22 PM
1

I don’t mean any judgment by this statement at all, I know it’s just how you feel, but it makes me sad to think that familiar, close sex with a beloved partner could garner such disdain. I’ve never felt that way, so it just stings to think someone who I’m still super passionate about could feel that way about me. If you want to and are able to, I hope you find more fulfillment than that someday. Totally on board with whatever keeps the spark alive. Separate bedrooms, sex hiatus, whatever both pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:20 PM
3

Thanks for putting yourself out there, friend. I will say that there’s an important difference here, between not being interested in sex with your wife and lying about it. Those are NOT the same things, not even remotely. If your wife doesn’t know exactly how you feel, what she can expect going forward, and that this won’t change, you’re being dishonest with her. As long as it’s on the table and she knows the new terms of your marriage, more power to you both if you decide to stick around with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:13 PM
1

Yeah, it hurts because I don’t know what it was and I would have been happy to try and fix it, but for whatever reason, he had no sexual interest in me but still wanted to spend his life with me. I’ll never understand that. I never expect a partner to always be down for sex, that’s crazy, anybody is free to turn me down any time! My current boyfriend doesn’t have as high a libido as I do and he turns me down sometimes, but that’s okay, I trust him that we’ll reconnect again fairly soon and we al…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:03 PM
3

Yeah, maybe in the last couple of years. But we had had an inexplicable dead bedroom for several years before any of that started, so I think it definitely wasn’t the original cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:13 PM
6

Thank YOU, I was nervous to post, especially on a sub that seems to be mostly people younger than me who may not yet realize this is a thing that happens. I’m very touched that practically everyone has been super nice and respectful. Gives me some hope in humanity, lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:00 PM
4

Hmm, your comment makes me wonder something. I don’t find predictable sex boring at all. I find it completely physically and emotionally fulfilling. I like spicy but I also love familiar tried-and-true, I crave it more than any novelty sex. Do you think men tend to equate predictable with boring? If predictable means boring, then yeah, there’s zero chance of sustaining long term interest in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:56 PM
1

Autopilot sex is terrible, empty sex that no one should ever settle for. Not you or your partner. You can do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:50 PM
5

Amen! When I found out my ex-husband had gotten engaged again, the next time I went out with my girl friends I joke-toasted his engagement, all in good humor: “May they spend the rest of their lives happily lying three feet apart in bed every night and calling that intimacy!” My ex isn’t shitty for having a low libido, he’s only shitty for lying to me about it. Despite everything, I hope he’s happy and that his new wife is on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:48 PM
3

This is such a bittersweet story, thank you so much for sharing it. Funny how there’s always a moment in relationships when you know in your bones that it won’t work out. It might take a long time to admit it to yourself and even longer to leave, but there’s always a heartbreaking moment when you know it deep down.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:37 PM
12

Yeah, I really don’t know much about how he experienced our relationship, sadly. He never let me in, but I swear I tried. It’s pretty obvious he found something about me off-putting enough to avoid sex as much as he possibly could. Maybe physical, maybe mental, maybe my issue or just his own, who knows. I tried tried tried to get a straight answer from him but he’d never say, always just shrugged and said he was just stressed out about x-thing “but don’t worry I promise it’ll go back to normal”.…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:25 PM
4

Thank you, that’s so kind of you to say! I’m learning a lot from people in this thread, I was fully expecting to get trolled pretty hard but I’m so touched that practically everyone has been super nice and respectful. Hugs and love to you, too, friend!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:09 PM
2

I’m so sorry it came to that. For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone regretting their divorce. Divorce obviously has a sad aspect to it, but in a way, it’s a good thing. Divorce usually means the couple is finally both being honest with themselves about something that hasn’t worked in years, and they’re opening their hearts to another chance at true love. I’ve “talked to” a few different guys since my divorce 3 years ago, and I strongly prefer other divorcees because th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:05 PM
3

I’m glad you’re figuring it all out. You sound like a very thoughtful person who wants meaningful relationships, I’m sorry you’ve had to sort through so much bullshit to get to a good place. I hope you find who you’re looking for, if you haven’t yet. People really don’t give men enough credit. You guys are expected to be perfect with all kinds of mixed messages. It’s a “numbers game” to get girls but don’t be thirsty. Always be yourself but always be confident. Girls want you to be aggressive, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:51 PM
2

Interesting, never heard of it, thanks for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:17 PM
10

Agreed. Just look at some of the other comments. People hear about this situation and either assume the guy is broken (gay, ED, low T, etc.) or the girl is fat or ugly, or both. It’s really, really weird that we have no mental framework for healthy men who just aren’t into sex. That needs to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:16 PM
9

I want to second this, but I think it’s important we keep in mind that therapy only “works” if the person wants it to, and is committed to putting in a ton of work and being very uncomfortable and vulnerable for a while. If someone doesn’t even see a problem, therapy has no chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:12 PM
1

That’s so sweet, I hope you always want her and that she appreciates you. And I hope I find a love like that, too! I’ve spent a long time coming to grips with the fact that I’ll never get an answer. I hate that I allowed that question to eat up what should’ve been some of my happiest, most confident years. Never again, lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:10 PM
1

Have you talked about just have an amicable co-parenting relationship? A peaceful and respectful mutual split. It may be better for the kids to see their parents separate but happy, than together but apathetic. Easier said than done, I know, but if neither of you are invested anymore, maybe worth a try?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:05 PM
4

Yeah, see? I bet about a billion men feel the way you do, but it must be hard to be honest about it because everyone jumps to: hormonal issue, mental illness, porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, fetishist, gay. So they stay silent. Totally understandable! But totally bullshit, too, lol. Everyone should be able to be honest with themselves and their partner about who they are and what they want. It’s really fuckin weird that we have no mental framework for a guy who just isn’t horny! 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:01 PM
6

Thanks! I’m always up for a hug! 🤗
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:55 PM
4

Yeah, maybe. He didn’t seem to ever have the mood that’s typically associated with depression, but I don’t know what his inner experience was because he never let me in. I know he was prone to anxiety and even had occasional panic attacks once we finished law school. I convinced him to get help for it, and he started taking medication that helped his anxiety but sadly it didn’t make a difference in our sex life. I still have love for the guy, I hope if there’s a mental health issue he’s working …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:55 PM
1

You can easily see that I’ve been posting about it for a few years. A few corrections: I never said I was an angelic loving angel with porn star tier looks. First of all I never said anything about my personality, I would NEVER describe myself as angelic. Definitely not that, lol. I’m a loving, affectionate person who has no problems getting men, but I’m far from sugar and spice. I’m Latina and I’m a litigator in one of the most competitive legal markets in the country, no one would ever say I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:48 PM
3

I think you’re very right!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:13 PM
1

Thank you, I wish the same to you! It helped a lot that when I got past my ego and “came out” to close friends and family, everybody seemed to have a similar experience somewhere in their past that they had also felt ashamed of. I wish we could just move beyond the stupid stereotypes, have everyone be honest and confident in who they are, and focus on finding partners who fit them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:11 PM
11

Thank you. Your experience sounds consistent with what a lot of guys are saying in this thread. You are absolutely not weird and have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a hundred percent right that men’s sexuality isn’t always in line with societal expectations. It would be great if we could get rid of the men-as-sex-robots narrative, and the women-as-sex-withholders one, too. These myths just often aren’t true, and the “failure” to meet expectations hurts both men and women a lot. It’s terrible t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:04 PM
17

Not sure, I never got closure and that’s been hard to deal with. There were some indicators of possible homosexuality, no indicators of porn addiction (at least none that I saw). Friends who know us both have suggested he might be a little autistic, he’s often described as being very emotionally flat, one-note, etc., which is true but I don’t know if there’s an actual mental issue. He comes from an Eastern European culture that is not very emotive, and he’s first gen American, so I always chalke…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:57 PM
1

Definitely could be. But I think it’s wrong to assume it. It makes it harder for low libido guys to acknowledge their nature, accept themselves, and just focus on finding a compatible partner, if they know people will assume they’re gay. I’d rather live in a world where everyone can be honest and up-front about their natural sex drive, without feeling their masculinity or femininity threatened. That way, we could all weed out incompatibility pretty early and find fulfilling relationships more ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:52 PM
2

Yeah, I guess sex isn’t required for some people to feel romantic love. Personally, I can care about someone very deeply, but I can’t feel the type of romantic love that makes me want to commit, if there’s no sex. I think both are valid, it’s just about finding a partner who’s compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:48 PM
2

You can easily see that I’ve been posting about it on Reddit for a few years. Less lately, as I’m healing and moving on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:44 PM
4

Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment but I think it’s dangerous to assume that. It makes it harder for low libido men to admit it and do anything about it, if they know others will dismiss them as “must be gay”. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve wondered it myself, a lot! There were some indicators in our case. But it’s really not that crazy to think that a straight, mentally healthy man just might not have much interest in sex. It’s important to acknowledge that, so that those guys can stop feeling so …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:40 PM
5

Wow. This was really eye-opening for me. You know I’ve never once thought about the tension that could exist between a guy’s get-girls persona and his inner sexuality. It makes a hundred percent sense and I honestly feel embarrassed that it never occurred to me that that could be a thing. And a thing shaped by women, in a way. That sounds like it could definitely lead to men not getting their sexual needs met because they don’t exactly fit the personality traits they have outside the bedroom. I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:33 PM
5

Very true. I’m sorry if this is your situation, friend. If we had had a kid/kids, I might have stayed, too, so I get it. At very least, it would have been much harder and taken much longer to leave. Many hugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 11:55 AM
2

You know, I hear what you’re saying, and of course I wondered that about my ex, too. But I think it’s dangerous to make that assumption. It makes it even harder and more shameful for a guy with a flat-out low libido to acknowledge it or do anything about it, if he feels like it’ll make other men automatically assume he’s gay. We should be open to the possibility that a straight, non-mentally-ill man can just not have a high libido, and that’s perfectly okay as long as he has a compatible partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 11:51 AM
7

Thank YOU! I was nervous about posting, but I’m so uplifted that’s everyone has been kind and respectful. Have a nice night.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:38 AM
2

Hmm, it’s hard to say. I think that in late teens and 20s, most people are horny, so wildly differing libidos would be somewhat unusual. In other words, I think most people have a libido when they’re young, so it would be rare to find a couple really struggling at that age. It could happen, it happened to me, but I bet it’s uncommon. But as people start hitting the mid and late 20s, getting into 30s, the newness of having sex has worn off for many people, the teenage hormones have subsided, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:36 AM
20

Oh definitely, the taboo for him was probably even worse. Notice how many comments in this thread pathologize men who aren’t thirsty 24/7. They’re almost always assumed to be physically or emotionally broken somehow, porn addicts, closeted fetishists, or gay. I don’t think my ex was any of those things. The reality is that there is no universal male (or female) experience! And those kinds of assumptions make it even harder for people to be honest when they fall outside of the bizarre one-dimensi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:15 AM
27

Run. I’m not kidding. Feel scared, feel uncertain, feel guilty, feel ugly, feel all that shit, then summon your courage and get the fuck out of there. I swear on my life, there are better men out here for you, but you won’t meet them if you don’t take the leap. I lived through the beginning stages and I thought I could handle it. Be smarter than me. You will regret going any further. You will NOT regret leaving. PM me any time for support, I got you. 👊🏼
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 05:47 AM
6

Aww, hugs to you, young dude! I can’t imagine not wanting to have sex with my partner, either, it’s nuts. Those men definitely exist, and there’s an incredible lot of shame on both sides of those relationships. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with men or women having a low libido! There are couples who happily have sex multiple times a day, and couples who happily go decades between smashes. The problems only arise when people lie or mislead their partner, to get them to stay in the relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 05:39 AM
7

Yeah, I get it, and honestly I don’t have a solution or I wouldn’t be divorced, lol! I understand getting bored with fucking the same person for years on end. I don’t personally experience it much, but I can get my head around it, sure. But what I’ll never understand is men still fighting to stay in that relationship. Why on earth would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone they don’t want to have sex with? This guy proposed to me, married me, tried to start a family with me, all whil…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 05:21 AM
13

Fair question, no offense taken. It wasn’t an abysmal relationship at all, this was the only aspect of our relationship that was imperfect. We rarely argued, loved spending time together, supported each other through hard times, had almost all of the same interests, values, and life goals. We were compatible and happy in every other way. We just didn’t have sex. In a somewhat warped and fucked up way, I really did marry my best friend. That’s what everyone says to do, right? Marry your best frie…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:30 AM
6

Maybe. Who knows? It’s taken me a long time to accept that I’m never going to get closure on that, so all I can do is move on. Thankfully, despite being in my 30s, I’ve had no issue easily attracting high value men who want a committed relationship with me. Hitting the wall at 30 definitely did not come true for me at all. I do have a higher libido than my current boyfriend, but at least it’s nowhere near a dead bedroom. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:11 AM
84

It’s an incredibly common issue. But nobody talks about it, because in order to talk about it, somebody has to come forward and admit they’re a failure, according to Western cultural expectations. To come forward and talk openly about this, a man would have to admit that he has zero interest in an attractive, feminine, smart, funny woman who dotes on him, treats him well, and constantly tries to initiate affection and sex with him. Other guys would be all over her, right? People would accuse him…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:03 AM
6

I guess it’s possible he felt that way, but it wouldn’t have been backed up by anything objective. Before he got fat, we were similar levels of attractiveness, or at least I thought so, and I was never told otherwise. He’s 6’, blond, hazel eyes, straight teeth, etc. He was never ripped or anything, but we were a pretty even match, physically. I’d say we were both 7-8s. We went to the same college, same law school, made similar money, etc. He was always extremely competitive with me, which was no…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:20 AM
154

Hey OP, I am a woman who was in a dead bedroom, maybe my story would shed some light. I met my ex-husband when we were both in college, sex was great for the first three years. 4-6 times a week, mutually satisfying and adventurous, compatible kinks, etc. We moved in together at age 23/24, after having been together for 3 years. From the moment we moved in, he never ever ever wanted to have sex again. No reason given. No matter how I asked, he just shrugged and said he was stressed out. In the ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 02:20 AM
1

Agreed! Just because she’s over 30 doesn’t mean she automatically fits here. Low effort post.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/06/19 10:36 PM
2

I am a woman with 36DD boobs. I am not "proud" of them any more than I'm proud of having brown hair or five toes on each foot. They just exist like any other part of me. I am constantly trying to minimize them by wearing sports bras, never showing cleavage, etc., specifically to avoid comments like the one in your post. Know why I'm trying to avoid those comments? First, they creep me the fuck out and make me feel molested, unsafe, devalued, and dehumanized. Second, I GET THEM ALL DAY LONG if I …
/r/seduction24/05/19 02:06 PM
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