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AttemptScary4550 Archive

View 0 posts and 125 comments by AttemptScary4550 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

22 years.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 09:24 PM
1

She was in a position of "authority" and took advantage of her position. Teacher/student type situation. Big mistake by both idiots. I know there are all sorts of older women ready to prey on younger men.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:43 AM
2

40.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 12:31 PM
5

Ex had affair with an 18 year old. I 100% blame her. He knew she was married but he was 18 and she took advantage of her position of influence.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:28 AM
2

Same in my case. 50/50 and any other thing I could get her to agree to was all about th money.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 03:18 PM
5

Not from my perspective. She still makes demands of me and gets upset when I don't let her have her way. It can be very difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 04:15 PM
10

I would have taken advantage of the affair fog more and gotten a quicker divorce. I held on way too long. I could have been done with it sooner, and my kids would have benefitted from me having more timewith them sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 08:04 AM
6

All the time to myself. Read, work out, walk, run, camp, and all the other things to do. When there's no one else to worry about, it's so easy to just do the things you feel like doing. Important point though is do it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 02:59 PM
2

Completely normal. Even after I had dated someone for over a year it sometimes seemed wrong or out of place. It's a big change to lose you SO in any manner. Be patient with yourself adjusting to changes. It can take a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 09:33 PM
3

Depends on the state and the judge but I wouldn't expect anything different from a 50/50 split of all assets.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:58 PM
1

You can find a lawyer with flat rate for uncontested divorce. We paid $1500 for a lawyer to complete the paper work and file everything for us. We did not have to appear in court. Lawyer sent us a template including standard custody agreements. I modified the custody agreement and we wrote in what we agreed to with the property and 401k. Took a few revisions as with any service you get what you pay for and lawyer kept making mistakes. Lawyer submitted. Judge reviewed and approved. Shouldn't take…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:55 PM
2

Lots of parallels between your story and mine. It made it way easier to let go of everything when I realized she wants something different. Let her go. You will find something better. Get divorced ASAP. Do everything you can to hold on to your money and what you've achieved. She wants a 20 year old partner let her live like a 20 year old. She wants out so let her go. You owe her nothing. When she realizes what shes giving up she will tell you she sacrificed for you ask you to give her more money…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 06:56 PM
1

Same here but things are getting better with time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 07:48 PM
5

She wants you to let her go. Quit torturing yourself and let her go. It's much easier said than done for sure. Block her on your social media. Do everything you can to avoid triggering items. Think of her as what she is a cheater and a liar. You are better than whatever else she will find out there!
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 04:11 PM
3

I needed about 2 years. It had a lot to do with the impact on our children.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 07:47 PM
2

It happened to me in the first couple of months of my second marriage. Once I got comfortable with everything the function returned to normal and got better. It was all a mental game.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:15 PM
5

I fought for almost 2 years to avoid divorce. It was useless. Do what you feel is right, but don't ignore what she wants out of life. It may not be the same as you. Something has happened she has changed, and it's not your fault. She may blame you, but It takes 2 to tango. Like many others, your wife is probably involved in some other relationship or day dream that she believes is better than your current situation. Let her go. Don't fight work on yourself. Either she will see her mistake or you…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 04:43 PM
5

It took me about a year of the divorce process before I started to be happy about it. Now I am beyond happy to longer be a part of the train wreck that is my ex-wife's life. My life is simpler my children are happier and my money goes so much further!
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 03:12 AM
9

I felt this way at the beginning but came to understand that's beyond her comprehension. In her mind she did nothing wrong and saved her family from the grief of her unhappiness. So self absorbed.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 08:49 PM
3

Similar event for me. You may still feel an obligation to your family, including her. She doesn't feel the same way anymore. You need to recognize this right away. If you have an lds temple marriage, recognize that it means nothing to her now. Let her go find herself. She wants out don't stop her. You want to stop her, but you can't stop her. Only she can stop herself. Take care of yourself and your kids! They need a good parent and your wife is not making decisions that reflect those of a good …
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 11:28 PM
1

My ex was a good mom mostly until she had real issues once the kids were teenagers. I was in no hurry to remarry but realized my kids even as adults will really benefit from having a motherly influence. A big concern for me isbringing good people i to their lives. I met and married an amazing woman whose influence in my children's lives has been a Godsend. I couldn't be more grateful. I hope you can find the same!
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 04:25 PM
2

Similar experience. My ex moved 65 miles away with her soon to be ex-husband #2. I now get my boys 75% of the time and my adult children tell me they love me and they're moms crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 03:14 AM
3

Happy birthday. It happened to me too. I told no one and loved treating myself to a new fishing rod.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 03:10 AM
6

My separation and divorce took 4+ years. It was lonely. I put in effort to make to prepare for dating and was very selective when I started dating. Wait until the divorce is final. You don't want anything hanging over you once you start dating. Socialize with coworkers and friends but wait to start dating. It's worth it
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 12:39 PM
16

She dated several men while the divorce was ongoing. Two ended when they found out she was still married. The other 3 dumped her once she showed her true colors. Once the divorce was final she was married within 6 months, and he left her 4 months into the marriage. My poor kids have to deal with her craziness. Luckily most of them are adults and can judge for themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 04:20 AM
2

That's a reasonable worry and all the more reason you need to be the steady man and sturdy rock for your children. Based on this, they, may see a steady stream of men passing through their mother's life. Do nothing. Do not interfere in here life in anyway. She's a train wreck and you will get hit by that train.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 08:19 PM
2

I did the same thing. It helped a ton. When I couldn't call someone I listened to some books. Unf&ck Yourself was a real winner for me. Also things on how to improve yourself and relationships. One divorce was horrible. I don't want a second one. I want to be able to help my kids recover from it too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 02:34 AM
15

Everyone really lean into number 2! She said it's over or can't figure it out. It's over move on. That was the most difficult part for me. Once I accepted what she wanted and realized she was only looking after herself everything changed. She might want to be friends or pretend or lead you on to get something out of you. Don't do it. She's out you need to get out and move forward ASAP.You deserve that and your kids deserve it too!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 04:36 PM
4

I love keeping quiet and saying nothing. It really hits home that I don't need to say anything and I am happy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 06:03 PM
2

Similar. No meds. A little overweight but ne er had the issues until now. In a new relationship. Things are amazing but it takes a lot of work to get off and sometimes not hard for long enough. A new challenge in life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 06:00 PM
3

Take your time. You seem to have some items you recognize need to be dealt with. Work through your issues but identifying them as well as you have is a very important first step. I waited almost 4 years before dating and was very selective. I have enough issues in life without dating someone who adds more. But being selective helped me find better quality dates and GFs.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:31 PM
4

Mine did the same. Pretending she was interested in their lives. It lasted about a year and then she found a boyfriend or of town. That made my life and time with kids way better. Hopefully your's stops this behavior and you can be a dad who sees his daughter regularly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 10:01 PM
10

Exactly. Cheer her on. Don't fight it. Let her "move on" so she can be free or whatever else it is she thinks she needs. Keep your sanity and let her go. Make good choices and good results will come of it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:39 AM
1

At least 2 months after she asked for a divorce which was 6 months after we separated. I wish I had accepted her signs of crazy and ended it as soon as she asked.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 03:19 PM
4

Yes she is cheating. Now ask her if she wants to reconcile. If she hesitates at all and won't agree to any conditions you have, walk away. It's hard to walk away but you deserve better. After some further thought and evaluation you will see there's more lying and hiding than you realize. If that's what she wants let her have it and you can go get what you want in life. Truth and fidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 03:07 PM
5

Cheating didn't make it easier. She cheated with a kid and so it seemed like she could come to her senses. If there had been no cheating it would have been hard as well. The cheating with someone more than 20 years younger helped me identify the insanity of it all once I accepted divorce as the ultimate path forward.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:12 PM
3

I waited until divorce was finalized. I talked to single women socially and went to some social meet ups for singles but no dating before it was finalized. Meeting and talking to people help me judge what I was looking for and my options. Glad I talked to women before the divorce. Very glad I didn't date until it was final. I needed the absolute closure and to be able to tell my dates it was finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:07 PM
7

Truth! It made me really cautious when I started dating again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:12 PM
4

Texas will be a good place to get divorced. You can negotiate just about anything you want with your X. If you can get 50/50 parenting time and you can even pay reduced child support based on the difference of what each would pay if one was awarded more parenting time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 07:52 PM
15

Remember it takes 2 giving 100% to make a marriage truly work. Once a woman decides she's out and won't agree to therapy she's done and has probably already tested the waters outside marriage. There's more to her asking for divorce and unwilling to do therapy. She's done. Better than her agreeing to therapy just to make you feel guilty and waste your time and money.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 06:33 PM
7

Don't let her decision ruin your life. You need to look at this as an opportunity to change and become better. She wants out. Maybe that's your fault maybe not but either way it's really hard to deal with her decision. It is and will be difficult but recognize there are better things ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:15 PM
11

Most surprising thing here is number of women creeping on the Divorced men reddit. please just let us be.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 03:01 PM
7

If she's not willing to work on it now, that's not likely to change. You can flounder and suffer in this situation while she enjoys the benefits of your hard work and looks for someone else or you do what needs to be done. Pick your poison, but either before you know it, she'll be finding someone else to keep her satisfied
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 04:57 AM
2

I gave her the 401k in place of the equity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 04:41 AM
9

Who cares! Push yourself to get to a point where this doesn't matter to you. She doesn't want to be with you and that's OK. Now move forward and earn what you want out of life. She's getting what she has earned. Be nice enough to let her enjoy the fruits of her labour without you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 01:05 PM
10

Complete emotional turmoil and wreckage for me when it started. She asked for it seemingly out of nowhere. Absolute relief and renewal now that it's done and dealt with! What has made it all easier is her insane decisions she's made since separation and divorce. It has made me understand there was nothing I could do and I'm much better off without the train wreck in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 06:47 PM
3

Way better off. First, just not having her spend my money was almost instant success financially. Career has really improved with a move up the corporate ladder. More money and better retirement savings.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:03 PM
3

My distracting activity when I needed it was waking up to go on a walk. Walking really helped me. I would listen to Audible books, podcast, self help, religious, fiction anf more. Whatever I felt like to help me get going in the morning and to settle me down at night. Needed that for years and was suggested by my therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 10:15 PM
9

No reason for her to meet. She is just trying to control the situation. Until some verifiable reason or regular life events requires them in the same place no need for the ex to meet the GF.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 10:09 PM
3

We still had kids at home and I wanted to keep the 3% mortgage. She couldn't afford the house I can and it helped the kids feel less out of sorts. The mortgage rate was a big influence for me right now. My mortgage payment is cheaper than rent that I would pay for a place less than half the size. A cleaner comes every other week and the place seems perfect.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 08:09 PM
15

The hard part about this is when it impacts your children. They sacrifice themselves to help their loving mother who in fact should be helping them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 04:32 PM
3

Never! At the beginning of the process I fought to keep the family together. Now I see how divorce was good for the family. She wants something different(crazy) than I do out of life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 03:48 PM
8

They lied to hide their shame and to keep pleasing themselves. They not only lie to you but they lie to themselves about what's right and what will make them happy. It's not your fault she got on a slippery slope and could not stop sliding. I realized the truth is meaningless to some people, so don't waste your time with those people. It's hard when you care about them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 03:42 PM
4

Ouch! Sometimes, I think of the money as the fee to get her out of my life. Then I know it's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 01:41 PM
6

Yes. First 2 years were great. Then the first was born. The only way the bedroom really heated up again was when she wanted to get pregnant again or thought I was l losing interest. Then she found someone else that caught her attention. For a little while I benefitted from a renewed libido then she left for him. Even in a good healthy relationship sex can be difficult. I love my kids and will never regret anything I experienced to have them in my life!
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 01:34 PM
4

Let it go. Who knows why she seemed loyal. Maybe she had to hide the question to avoid some sort of conflict or abuse. Forget about someone who treated you like trash. You are better than that. Good job not talking to her!
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 08:19 PM
5

Yes! Dealing with serious issues with 3 of the 5 children. One was friends with ex's affair partner. All 5 have needed therapy. The 3 with issues all were manipulated and lied to in some way by the ex. Now they have serious anxiety and other issues. It has been a great deal of work keeping them on a path to functional adulthood.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 07:46 PM
5

Sounds like a total setup reating an argument for no reason. She's got something else going on and just wants an excuse not to be with you. She will want it to end quickly, so whatever she's going to next doesn't seem to have been happening during your relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 11:40 AM
2

The end of year 3 was a real turning point for me. Divorce had been finalized. We just had to wait on a judge to sign it. I had worked on myself during the 3 years. Hit the gym. Focused on my kids. Improved work situation, and my income improved. With that, I accepted she's a crazy cheating liar, and moving forward has been revelatory!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 12:17 PM
2

When it rains, it pours. That sounds like a very difficult time to be going through.I hope you are able to keep the proper perspective on things and not let it all drag you down.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 09:09 PM
2

Stay strong!! You can do it!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:48 PM
2

Don't respond. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe today they don't see the truth, but the truth will be seen.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:30 PM
3

No. Don't waste your time reading or responding to her posts or statements. You know the truth and need to hold to it. I went through a very similar experience, and people who know you know better or will learn. Actions speak louder than words and ignoring false claims gives them the value they have. Zero.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:26 PM
1

No. Don't waste your time reading or responding to her posts or statements. You know the truth and need to hold to it. I went through a very similar experience, and people who know you know better or will learn. Actions speak louder than words and ignoring false claims gives them the value they have. Zero.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:25 PM
3

No. Don't waste your time reading or responding to her posts or statements. You know the truth and need to hold to it. I went through a very similar experience, and people who know you know better or will learn. Actions speak louder than words and ignoring false claims gives them the value they have. Zero.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:12 PM
5

Yes to what has been said. This is a difficult event in life seek help and find somethings to distract you. Work on yourself with the added free time you have. I had to walk and work out for at least a couple hours every day just so I could sleep well at night. Take care of yourself and if your upset remember this may be the end of something but not the end of you. When one door closes another opens.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 05:21 AM
3

Crazy! Sounds like you're doing your best in a tough situation. Keep it up. Your children need your stability. Let her go be free. It can be hard to carry the burden alone, so make sure you get help from friends and family. She's got problems and she needs to address them. You get to enjoy being a father!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 09:27 PM
7

Agreed. Love it. I have really benefitted from the strength and example of others. It has helped me know I am normal and so are my expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 09:07 PM
10

I have had to tell my XW multiple times not to enter my home when im not there. The kids should not have to stop their mom from entering. She put them in a bad place and took advantage of it. It's wrong. Now I have told my kids it's not her house. I sent her an email and spoke with her that she can't come into my house when I'm not there. Now she won't even come to the house to get the kids. Hooray!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:04 PM
5

I'm grateful for the just a friend affair partner who saved me 20 years of grief and lies! I hate what my kids had to go through but now I'm on the other side and it is so much better for me and the kids!
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 09:37 PM
3

You need to move back in! Should never have left. When I moved back in my crazy the wife left amd thought she could take the kidd but couldn't find a place to go. Now divorced. I'm in the house with the kids! Stay there it will work in your favor and be good for the kids. Just behave and ignore her if you have to. Don't even be nice. Just polite.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 04:19 AM
2

Not sure about the relationship but if you read some John Gottman marriage books and work together maybe there's hope for something better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 11:58 PM
5

Bring along a third party witness. I have had a few friends that needed to bring someone along to all transfers. Being in a public place didn't seem to be enough to stop crazy lying STBXes.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 04:19 PM
2

My EX and I reached agreements about property/debt division and child support. Judge signed without hesitation. If you work out terms that you both agree to the judge will accept it. Just have a lawyer review you aren't agreeing to anything unreasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 03:36 PM
1

Do you live in a state where spousal support ends when she enters into a cohabitation relationship? If so, hope she finds someone else right away.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 01:46 PM
3

My ex changed her name back to her maiden name as part of the divorce. Remarried and divorced again and changed her name back to maiden name again. My fiance (divorced over a decade) has kids in high school (grades 10 and 12) but wants to keep married name to have same name as kids.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 12:55 PM
7

Depends on the state I think. In certain states anything you had before the marriage is still yours but any gains during arethe marriage are 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 03:05 AM
3

Great guide. It will be hard to follow for some but will help everyone willing to take your advice. I do the "play nice" gimmick constantly even post divorce. Somehow, it makes her think I like her and agree with her insane version of life and the truth. End result of that is I get what I want 9 times out of ten. I also tells guys to be as cutthroat as they want but they have deal with the ex for the rest of their children's lives. So be a gentleman and treat her politley so your kids can learn …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:15 AM
1

Her having this new boyfriends should show you she was looking before she even told you anything. She had issues that she didn't communicate not your fault. Now the self blame can be constructive. Change, improve and give your kids the best dad they can have. Also this well help when you meet a new woman. You'll be deliberate enough to figure out what you want in your relationships going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 11:12 PM
1

There's a very consistent way cold support in texas is calculated. Anyone can use the online calculator available. Essentially the non custodial parent pays a percent of there take home pay per child. Guideline calculations: one child= 20% of Net Monthly Income (discussed further below); two children = 25% of Net Monthly Income; three children = 30% of Net Monthly Income; four children = 35% of Net Monthly Income; five children = 40% of Net Monthly Income; and six children = no less than 40% of …
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 05:17 AM
8

I spent 2.5 years where my daughter wouldn't talk to me. Her mom had an affair with her friend. She was 40, and he was 18. Somehow, I was the bad guy. Even now, my daughter has trouble talking to me. My ex really did a number on our 5 kids and hasn't stopped yet after more than 4 years. They have learned that I am consistent and reliable so things keep getting better between kids and I. Be the dad they need and they will learn to love you. Always tell the truth and make sure they know you will a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 03:39 AM
5

Forget the court. It's her you have to convince or work out some deal with to get what you want. If the two of you can reach some sort of agreement outside of court that will be best for all. I worked a deal with my ex after we both consulted lawyers we sat down several times and reached an agreement. It wasn't easy playing nice bit we are both adults and not trying to ruin each other's lives. She did that well enough on her own. Then we had a lawyer right it up amd a judge signed it without any…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:16 PM
9

Texas is amazing. In lots of cases there's no spousal support. Assets obtained during marriage are 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:29 AM
16

My EX seems to think we are friends. She said we could even have family events together with our new SOs. She talks to me like I'm interested in her life and care about it. No chance. I can no longer believe anything she says. She causes turmoil in my children's lives. I am very nice person in most cases so I'm friendly but we are not friends.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 07:40 PM
2

John Gottman or the Gottman Institute. If you are both willing to work on it, this will help you rebuild a relationship. If not, it will help you know how to improve your next one. From people I've watched both work to save a marriage, it's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 01:36 PM
4

Ignore her. You are better than this petty behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 04:11 AM
5

You obviously loved this woman and look at her good qualities that benefit your children and others. That is a very positive trait to have. She, however, is not acting in a stable way and can not be a completely positive influence in their lives. Someone like thus, will damage your children in ways you don't understand. I've seen it happen. Your kids will need a lot of support in their lives. With a mother who acts like this, they will need even more support and therapy. Believe me, I have seen …
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:27 PM
3

Been there, seen that. It's justification for ending it. I think some women need to do it so they can move on without regrets and tell the next guy she was abused amd had to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:15 AM
1

I don't share a lot of interests with my older son. I made him participate in mine, and I participated in his so we could have time together. I openly said to him. I don't see you enough, and I want to be part of your life and do things with you. Clear direct communication. Made it easier but still not simple. At 16, he wants to do his own thing as well. The other important t thing to me is I need to teach him to work. So I schedule yard work or building stuff when he's around as well as volunte…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 05:08 AM
3

Same thing for me. I didn't eat consistently for at least 6 months. Lost probably 60 pounds and was lighter than I was in High School. Take advantage of this and establish new habits and routines. Eat for nourishment and work out. You will feel better about yourself and be able to approach everything with more confidence and not even realize. Stay contract don't just gain it back in 3 months.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:56 PM
2

Nice to know. I am second generation divorced as well. I have had the same experience. Haphazard parenting by her and only me left to push my boys in their pursuits. I had 50/50 then my ex moved and now she gets every other weekend. Great for me, but the kids dont benefit from being with her. As such boundaries and expectations from one parent have been difficult to enforce but im getting there. My parents divorce really impacted me and how little I've seen my dad as an adult. I want that to be …
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:38 PM
3

My biggest fear was and is the impact on our children. My college age children seemed to deal well enough with the ordeal but my boys at home really suffered. The changes that have impacted them have changed them in ways that are not good. I am afraid they may never recover from these impacts. I fear how it will impact my future grand children and how much I get to be with them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:52 PM
3

You are not alone. Many wonderful people get divorced. It sucks. It's hard. It is a great learning opportunity. No matter who's choice or who's fault, take time to reflect, learn and improve. Like others said, hit the gym or whatever activity gets you moving. Not video games. Something active. Grow now while things change, develop good habits for yourself. I did everything I could to save my marriage. With five kids and knowing how my parents divorce hurt me I didn't want a divorce. Sometimes th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 07:56 PM
7

It gets better and better. 4 years later I'm sad sometimes too but mostly for the impact on my children. There will still be trials. Once you fully realize her life is out of your hands and you get to choose your future, you'll be loving life. Lobe your kids and love yourself. You dont have to be alone if you don't want to. I have been amazed by the women I have met and dated since being divorced. You will have options if you want them.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 04:00 PM
2

Its all a show and she's delsuional. She's now "free" and wants you to see her as happy. Sure there are some short term things that will make her happy but things will go wrong and you wont be there to help/save her.Shes She's clueless as to what she is actually giving up but it can't matter to you anymore. Move forward and you will find someone who values you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 07:57 PM
2

I'm 5 years in now. My kids see how crazy she is and I continue as the steady point in their lives. They are closer to me and each other than ever before and things have improved a lot for us in the last year. The daughter who's prom date my ex wife was going to marry at the time has wouldn't talk to me for a couple years. Now things are way better. The first 3 years were absolute torture and 2 of them were complete insanity on her part. Do not falter as a good father figure. You will reap the r…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:25 PM
3

Who knows. For my ex I like to think she turned 40 was overweight and her two oldest daughters left for college. She felt lost and grabbed onto whatever made her feel good about herself then realized all her problems were caused by someone else me. She had always had false or different memories and other issues. She wanted change and an easy narrative of an abusive husband got her a teenage lover. It was complete insanity.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:19 AM
3

Tell then to look a at the court records and then call you after they know what you've already been through. Even the judge knows she's a liar. They will too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 11:03 PM
1

It hurts to watch something you value get torn apart and ruin your future dreams. Keep this dreams and reframe them. life isn't always the way you want it. Since my divorce I'm grateful for the change of my life. I can still achieve all my dreams but she doesn't get to be part of them. You can do it. You will have an opportunity. Just keep moving forward and enjoy what life has to offer and the opportunity to find something new and grow.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:59 PM
3

You have to let go. Find what you need to move forward. Therapy and personal improvement helped me. The best help for me has been finding someone that has truly given me a perspective on how much better things can be. You need to let yourself be happy elsewhere. Not sad without her and worrying about her future. I worry about my ex wife's choices because of our children now and have completely let go. It takes time and effort.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:52 PM
6

Similar story for me. 20 years of marriage. She turned 40, "fell in love" with our daughters prom date," alienated me from our children and I thought we could fix it. She said it was all my fault and I was abusive. She was controlling, manipulative, abusive and self serving in almost everything she did. Yes there were good times but I'm so glad it ended. I have control of my life and have thrived. Took me therapy and a couple years to truly improve and move on. It was hard to get here but I coul…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:44 PM
2

Sorry typo crossfit. Autocorrect for the assist.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:54 PM
2

Crossfire. You'll find fit beautiful women who are there just to find a man. Guy running my Xs crossfire gym got all he wanted. My 50 year old buddy nabbed a very attractive 35 year old. No women is sane but on the crazy vs hotbscale you'll find some reasonable ones in person at a nearby crossfire gym and yoga classes!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:55 AM
2

I felt so crazy and like a horrible person until someone from the outside(her dad) sat me down and told me it wasn't me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 07:38 PM
3

Can’t agree more! See a therapist. At the very least it’s a sanity check to know you are normal and there’s a future. You can do it! Hit the gym, walk or something else productive not just distractions. You can do it and it will help you see you may not be holding on to the right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 02:56 AM
3

Yeah it's a difficult thing to deal with but surprisingly the kids know better than you realize. I now have 2 adult children that avoid their mother because of the new guy and two teenage boys who do everything they can to stay with me. It hurts to watch her ruin this relationship. But she said "it's not like we will see them more than 10% of the time now that they're adults." True however those important times when you want them around they won't want to be there either. I also know from being …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 07:13 PM
1

If you are both willing to work on it and avoid divorce do that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 07:02 PM
3

Stay strong. Those kids need you. I had to walk and workout just to distract myself. It’s hard but you can get passed it. Find ways to make progress on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:12 PM
1

I just finalized my divorce agreement in the state of Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:20 PM
0

50/50 custody allows for a joint custody agreement and then CS parents equalized between the two of you. I've seen several divorce agreements signed off by judges that way. You are doing yourself a disservice if you don't calculate based on both incomes for 50/50.Thw intent is for the parent with the greater burden to be compensated. In this case the burden is equally shared. Don't finalize your divorce with her getting any child support. It's not right.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:31 PM
1

It is a rough time of year. I've had the kids and my adult child and spouse have stayed with me. It not easy not having all of us together including her. It can really depressing and it hurts. Time to find what there is to look forward to in life. For you and everyone else involved. Happy you benefits everyone around you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:42 AM
1

If you have a 50/50 custody arrangement her income most definitely comes in to play. As a result with her higher income you should be receiving money from her. The only reason you may not is because her formula may include more children at the very least you should not have to pay the entire 20%. You should also be getting credit if the child's on your health insurance. Go to the state of Texas attorney general website. They actually have a calculator which shows how much you would have to pay. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 04:52 AM
2

It's a long row to hoe but there is an end and you'll be better than you can imagine when you get there. I'm almost there myself. Good luck and remember to enjoy the things in life that are part of your everyday. Family. Friends. Pets. Gym. Travel. Reddit? Also it's OK to feel it. 3 years and I still cry just about everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 03:31 AM
4

That's a very difficult question to answer. To me the pain means you haven't moved on from the loss. Your former spouse is dead. There is a new person in their place that wants something different from what you had. Mourn that loss. IT HURTS. Process that and move on. There is a life you need to enjoy. Here I am saying this when I still often feel the pain you mention. One day it will be history and that can still hurt a little. Remember there were many good things with that person before they d…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 03:22 AM
2

Read your story and I feel for you man. When someone decides it's over without really working on it with you it's a big kick in the pants. Life is hard it's supposed to be that way so we can really enjoy the good parts. It's life shattering when the one you love and trust decides it doesn't work for them anymore. Even harder is watching them turn against you as they justify their choice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:53 AM
2

This sounds really tough. I've been very fortunate to have moved into the right jurisdiction years before divorce and it keeps me from having to give the rest of my life to someone who doesn't care about love and devotion.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:30 AM
2

Let's hear your story divorce sucks no matter what the situation. Sorry you have to go through this and I hope you have some good support around you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:21 AM
2

And be ready for her to say you are gaslighting her. She's made up stories in her head that are not true but will pin them on you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:00 AM
1

If you don't have kids find somewhere else to live or at least some getaways!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 12:23 AM
2

It's hard to accept but she is a different person now. The one you want back is gone. You can try to get her back and that could be amazing as she's obviously going through some trouble. Get yourself straight with all your stuff first and you may realize she isn't actually what you want in your life. If she is you'll be in a position where she wants to be with you. It's not your fault she has decided to change. Now your problem is how she has decided most her problems come from you as the source…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 12:16 AM
1

Agreed, sometimes they just want drama and won't truly accept they created the drama.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 12:14 AM
1

My response would be I will put together any bed you are willing to sleep in with me and not just for one night. Marriage is an agreement not always fair but still an agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:57 PM
1

If your plan is to be divorced then she is your STBXW. Treat her the way you want your relationship with her in the future to be. She'll take advantage of you being nice for as long as it suits her. She wants it to end. Now you get to decide how long you drag it out and have that sort of relationship. If you want to hold on or think it will be a good example for your children then help and do other things you're comfortable with but remember it's only to be nice nothing more will come of it. May…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:55 PM
3

I understand this point of view at such a young age. Someone close to me grew up with a father that adopted her at the age of 3. Divorced parents and moved out of the country in the second marriage. Great situation for the child in the day to day but many issues needed to be dealt with when a person feels abandoned by one of their parents. The adopted father amazing man and they have 4 more kids. The oldest always felt segregated from the rest no matter what. These are all very difficult situati…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:43 PM
2

It might seem healthy and promising. Be optimistic but be careful. You dont know who’s coming next in her life and how that will influence her. She’s already lied to you and things change. I hope it stays cooperative and amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 05:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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