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Attributum Archive

View 1 posts and 57 comments by Attributum on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
247

FDS RESCUE MISSIONAttributum/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:14 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Honestly I think you are on the right path: Raging helps. Massive Rage in my opinion is the only appropriate reaction to how he treated you. It's therapeutic. Don't act on it of course, but rage. The anger will help you process the brainwashing and regain a sense of your worth and reality. He should have been honored to be with a good person like you, instead he treated you like an afterthoughts. So go ahead and rage away. Once you have finally moved through the rage and have come out at the oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:31 PM
87

Wow, this was seriously upsetting to read. I have my own experiences with sharing my rape experience with guys I was dating in the past, and getting very insensitive and invalidating reactions. Not a single guy being genuinely shocked and upset for me. I got boredom, disbelief, discomfort over having listen to this, wanting to role-play rape with me afterwards, anger at me, ... but not a single compassionate reaction from any of them. Even my own father. I know I am not allowed to make any gener…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:40 PM
24

You speak so much bitter truth. I want to add though, that just because you are in a privileged position it doesn't make it impossible to empathize with the oppressed counterparts. Like I am white, and I might not grasp it to its fullest extent, but I can perceive the situation of someone non-white in my country (Western Europe) as what it is: Very and harsh and scary sometimes. It is not so hard to imagine! But maybe, yeah - if you are in the ultimate privileged position, where you simply never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:53 PM
147

Absolutely assholery highly correlates with biological sex. I am not saying that within the male or female sex everybody is all the same - there are worse and better -, but on average men are so so so so much worse than women. Without a doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:06 PM
67

I think a really good analogy (that is more easy to really get, than imagining to regard another human being as a camera), is maybe how a lot of people relate to pets (not saying that is right at all): For many people a pet is a living being they like to spend time with, even invest money and time in, but when push comes to shove, when the dog gets chronically ill, when the new partner is allergic, when the neighbours complain about the dogs noise, when the new landlord does not allow for animal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:22 PM
8

Pretty privilege absolutely exists, no doubt about it. Even though pretty women "buy" their companionship through their looks, it doesn't mean that they are "fake not lonely". Yes the love and attention that men might give them is only skin deep, but it still definitely feels better than being "skin deep" not liked, ignored, insulted etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:02 PM
195

Or how terrible the sex usually is with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:12 PM
54

I am sharing your confusion. Like this seems like a produced video. So he intentionally created this to share with the public. And you can obviously tell he is very smug and proud of himself. I dont get it. Like why does he make this public? He must know how much hate he will get?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:26 AM
43

I this like a PUA teaching others or what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:16 AM
46

Spending time on reddit - which I unfortunately did a lot in the past - always made me feel depressed and worthless. Since I have discovered FDS I am spending almost no time anymore on the rest of reddit. I still indulge my old guilty pleasures of ... and ... from time to time. But I only ever read the OP now, I cant bear to read the comments anymore. My mental health has definitely improved since I found FDS, just for this shift in reddit consumption alone! Edit: Censored the sub names. Sorry a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:08 PM
117

Especially in the first 1 to 3 years, it is normal to not fully trust! In a healthy relationships it is a decreasing curve. But it is slow, since solid trust builds slowly. Real trust is based on trustworthy behavior, not on some blind faith BS. Let's do away with this "You don't trust me!" shaming. It is healthy and normal to not fully trust, until someone has proven themselves trustworthy. 6 month relationship: -He: Oh how dare you not trust that I would never cheat on you! I am your partner. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:07 PM
26

100% agree with u/pickmieshaexorcist. The risk of getting something negative back is simply too high. The percentage of men who will accept a brief rejection online with dignity and respect, is simply too low. If they would have to deal with repercussions if they were not respectful, then things might shift (a dating app, where women can give anonymous feedback based on interactions with the person? But I guess that wont really work, but might be worth to consider), but until that happens, nope …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:25 PM
70

"It's alright if y'all gain more assertiveness and confidence in the work space and such. But we don't want that in our relationships. We want women to be women aka submissive/male-'miring" Horrible Horrible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:59 PM
23

Maybe getting into martial arts might help you feel safer to some degree? It robbed me off any delusions as to a woman being on equal footing physically with men, but it also gave me a realistic (and not fear driven) outlook on physical aggression between men and women. Yes I am usually weaker, but to look at such situation more like a fight with tactical implications rather than a predator and prey hunt, has helped me. For example I think that non-feminine clothings are actually no protection a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:01 PM
6

My understanding of liberal is actually very close to capitalist and therefore close to conservative. Basically people who propegate for the free reign of the market and against state intervention (at least where it doesn't serve their agenda ;)) And left is about social justice basically. And they support to a more or lesser degree state intervention to achieve that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:44 PM
20

Please do tell, I really want to hear them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:38 PM
25

I would not say, absolutely don't do it. But really weigh the risks very well. If you still want to do it, try to prepare and protect yourself as much as possible. Learn the language in advance, thoroughly research your legal and financial situation (and I mean THOROUGHLY, know exactly what to do if things go south), have an escape plan in place, insist on trial stays with him, ... What you are planning to do is super risky, but I understand that it is still sometimes better than staying at home…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:14 PM
2

Hmm, I agree something shady, but not necessarily porn addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:10 AM
71

This gives me really weird vibes: "Oh, he he, ha ha, la la la - I am so happy and joyful about this fuck this was degrading I really enjoy myself and the world, look at those flowers what a disgusting douchebag gosh I love my life and to have shared such a wonderful evening with such a sweet, sex guy I think I am gonna throw up It's so wonderful we can all be so mature about it, after all we all respect each other fuck hell no, he was so utterly disrespectful to me and probably every other woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:21 PM
24

How do you find out if they are porn addicted? I mean isn't that something that most men are very eager to hide from the women they date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:48 AM
37

I feel you. I have the same experience. I always knew and felt that lowering my standards is utterly pointless and even harmful (great you got a guy, but you are utterly unhappy!). But whereever you look men, but also women pathologize you for having those standards. When I say: "Well if I lower my standard, sure I could be with that dude, but then I would be deeply unhappy. Which makes no sense to do, since I assume that your advice to lower my standards should make me happier overall, no?" Dee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:12 PM
38

Yeah don't take it personally, these might either be some hidden PickMe tendencies there ("how dare she not praise the holy dick?") or people kind of just lack empathy and cant imagine how someone not liking dick can be happy, because they themselves enjoy the dick and they would be unhappy without it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:53 AM
101

Uff some of the commenters on here really annoy me. "Oh she doesn't like dick, what is wrong with her, how can we fix her? How can I give her unsolicited advice about stuff that she obviously must have considered already a 1000 times?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:44 AM
156

Physical attractiveness is one aspect, but the other is that women don't like those guys because they really are bad people (entitled, selfish, deceitful, sexist men). I think they deeply consider male entitlement their natural birthright. So being forced to give that up and actually look in the mirror and become a better person - an actual fullfledged human -, they would never consider that voluntarily. So that is why in their eyes they are involuntary celibate. Which of course they aren't - ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 02:50 PM
68

Such a good point! When a guy sets of your LV radar, distance yourself / set boundaries and STICK TO IT. Take your radar seriously, it does not only mean: "Don't date/fuck", but also "Don't let that one close in any way shape or form". Exposure to something that our boundaries tells us we shouldn't be exposed to leads either to attacking (not really recommended unless done strategically and measured) or lowering our boundaries / adapting to shit-normality in order to cope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 02:40 PM
14

I think maybe some of them think I am scary but I really don't give a damn. A LVM being scared of you is the highest form of respect such a man is able to give to a woman. Carry it with pride :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:54 AM
6

Beautiful! I will save this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:49 AM
8

Oh friend, you are being so hard on yourself. But I feel you (check out my post on overcoming my fantasies, you will see how much I relate)! And it is so awesome you are realizing what you are doing. It's a step by step process getting over those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:58 AM
7

Please DM it to me as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:03 AM
21

Into the half of the first date. It should have been over when he started into the rant on his ex, that made him the most happy he ever was in his life and hurt him the most he ever has experienced, how she is a narcissist, how he is now over her ... 15 minutes later still going on about her :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:28 PM
17

I am just as picky about friends as I am about romantic partners. I just know what I like and what I don't like and there are a lot of behaviors that many women also do, that I don't want to be around. Same thing here as with dating: You have to be ready to be alone, when noone good enough shows up and keep reaching out making new connections to increase your chances to run into worthwhile people. I am sorry about your situation with friend B. I wouldnt fault a friend for moving somewhere just b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:18 PM
22

Oh I would like to read that. Isnt there a sub where you can post?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:36 PM
29

You are not supposed to lie about it. Anyone who would consider you a slut for this (and does any form of slut-shaming), I would consider a LV. And if you follow FDS, you wouldn't even be physical with them. Just getting to know them. > What if they ask if I'm seeing someone besides them? Tell them you haven't decided yet whether you two are compatible, and you are considering others as well. > Or ask to be exclusive like one week in? Red flag. > What if the guys in rotation know each other? Or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 10:33 AM
14

I might be totally wrong about this, so ignore what doesn't fit. And also this might go against the line of FDS a bit. But the list you gave in the beginning justifying your HighValue, honestly sounded all like external things that you seem to have build up to justify your worth, while worrying that if those weren't there, there might not be any worth to you at all. I do agree with building a life worthwhile living is a valuable thing to do, but it is not really what defines your value. I see wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:30 AM
5

I agree, it felt a little cruel. Probably not intentionally, but yes - as I was reading that I was like ... what on earth are you doing feeding further into my fantasy? But I think she really doesn't understand why that fantasy is harmful. And there are enough replies on here, to not let that one reply really have an effect on me. So it's all good :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:32 PM
2

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:28 PM
1

Yes I have seen others hinting at that as well. I will definitely experiment with this. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:27 PM
2

Luckily these crushes naturally stop for me immediately if a crush gets into a serious relationship (Or when I learn that they had been in one all along). That destroys the illusion for me of this wonderful man I imagine him to be in my fantasy. And also relationships are just too sacred for me, I definitely would not want to enable someone elses cheating. > to rationalize and rebrand what is likely a low level of interest on their part But you definitely hit the nail on its head here. That real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:25 PM
1

Yeah, I am myself surprised how many others also struggle with their version of the fantasy of the frog that really is just a prince.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:19 PM
2

Yes I do observe that focussing on my personal passions and live goals which have a lot to do with nature, those fantasies do lose some of their force at least for the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:17 PM
3

Thank you for your reply! Yes this fantasy is definitely born out of my attachment injuries. No doubt about this. I mean my parents and particularly my father (as he is the supposedly sensitive one) weren't just neglectful but also abusive. And I think this idea that deep down somewhere hidden, made it also possible for me to cope with the abuse, since afterall I was deeply, hiddenly loved. And a good point about feeling angry for these women! Really good point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:15 PM
3

Yes that makes a lot of sense - if I would ever be so unlucky as to meet my sensitive prince charming, he'd probably put me on a pedestal and then abuse me for not living up to his ideal! Really good point, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:11 PM
1

Trying to shift the fantasies into more realistic shapes ... hmm ... I will definitely try that. That sounds like really good advice! Thank you very much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:09 PM
7

Yes, so so true. Usually their shyness is part of severe psychological issues, and also sensitivity does not equate to integrity and compassion at all. I mean that is why I invented the fantasy in the first place to deal with emotional abandonment and abuse from my oh-so-sensitive and fearful father (fucker!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:08 PM
2

That is actually a really good idea. Because of course my sensitive prince charming would never objectify women like that, so that could help imploding the illusion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:06 PM
4

Enemies to lovers. That is almost as seductive for me - I feel you. Yes I agree, that the fact these fantasies keep popping up, shows that part of me still holds onto the hope that it is sort of like-ish. And thank you for saying that there is nothing wrong with feeling wanted - that is really kind. I think it is also important to be kind with ourselves in such moments. It's not wrong to want love, it's just not going to work the fantasy wants me to think it does
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:04 PM
4

I will try this thank you! Both the first one and the second one. They sound really sensible! I mean I lack the entitlement to attack my crushes when they eventually disappointment me. That pain then just gets directed at me. But yes, I very much agree that it is very creepy and inappropriate. Even if they would be as harmless as me, I don't like the thoughts of for example the cashier at the supermarket not being able to fall asleep because he keeps fantasizing how we cuddle and have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:00 PM
5

You know it is kind of soothing for me that others struggle as much as I do. That I am not this total weirdo. And I absolutely agree, there is a strong correlation between my general life satisfaction/self-esteem/loneliness and the intensity and frequency with which crushes occur. And as others pointed out, I would actually guess that all these fantasies are echoes of our attachment traumas. My father this super sensitive person, dry-alcoholic, emotionally/verbally abusive and neglectful. There …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:56 PM
7

Thank you for your reply. And yes no man has ever really profited from my crushes I think. I have this great ability to make it really weird when I crush on someone. And also as soon as I sense that the subject of my crush is not really living up to my fantasy, I get super turned off. But also very hurt and dissapointed (which is why those crushes need to stop).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:51 PM
23

All this future faking and personality faking during the infatuation stage is sociopathic in my opinion. And those FUCKERS have managed to normalize it. "Well you have to court a woman" and BS like that. It is wrong, wrong, wrong! Nothing ok about faking who you are and what you want in order to get sex or a relationship from someone! It is evil
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:38 PM
5

:D :D :D Good point - how about pick-up-attemptist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:08 PM
3

What the fuck-a-di-fuck-fuck! I am sure that is a pick-up-artist. He is doing this with clear intention of manipulation. 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:01 PM
26

I feel so sorry for you having to be constantly around these disgusting men (who are the norm, I know I know). I was in teams like that before. And even though there was no friendship ever entertained with those people, the absence of humanity towards women really would depress my spirits. You just feel like you need to constantly purify yourself from all that slime surrounding you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 08:52 AM
3

Ahhhhhhhhhh! I was like ... what kind of question is that? You don't entertain their low effort of course. Then I read your first line ... and I am all back to love! <3 Thank you for the post. This is definitely pick-me behavior ... how do I deal with this behavior, that I don't like, from a guy to make him like me more? No no no no no NO EDIT: NO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 08:42 AM
3

That makes sense. I am not a gym goer anymore, but I think I might have committed this faux-pas in the past - I am just kind of a bit clueless sometimes. Me boxing = cool - why wouldn't anyone else want to see it. But yeah I get it now, makes sense. ​ But then again, a woman doing that is definitely much less threatening/making women uncomfortable than the muscle-mountain you were describing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:52 PM
4

I would ask him to slow things down a bit. If he reacts with anything but understanding and moderating his approach a bit (without going all cold of course), I would start doubting his HV. ​ But fact is - as other commenters have pointed out - you are right now just at baseline. So far he seems alright. But that doesn't mean much. It is about the consistency and it is about other qualities as well, which you haven't mentioned at all: Compassion, empathy, consideration, listening, vulnerability, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:09 PM
6

His idea of a dreamgirl makes me want to throw up: She was thoughtful, patience, wore hijab, and didn't ask much. Our relationship was so smooth One of the biggest lies of men is this whole: I am also attracted to personality, not just looks. What they usually mean is exactly that: A nurturing, submissive woman. That is not a personality, that is the absence of one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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