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AutisticRats Archive

View 1 posts and 308 comments by AutisticRats on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

DebateAutisticRats/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 01:44 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

You say not have sex which is a totally acceptable solution, but I've have multiple people complain on my lack of initiating sex. I have often been expected to ask, and even though sometimes the answer is no, I am still expected to ask each time and I can't just wait for the other person to ask. Since I don't like to repeatedly ask for anything, my common response is to let them know that I'll never ask again until they tell me to do otherwise. That lets me respect their boundary and let someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:32 PM
2

Absolutely. I already see the world postgender and it would be nice if others would join me in seeing the world that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:19 PM
3

Generally the vtuber women are attractive. Being a woman on stream comes with all sorts of issues, such as harassment, stalking, judgement for appearance, fetishized for appearance, etc. Being a vtuber allows them to confidently act how they want on stream with less judgement. Sometimes they do a face reveal once they feel comfortable enough, and others never face reveal. In general, appearing younger is an appealing trait in women, and the high pitched cutesy voices are just taking that a level…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:49 PM
2

I'd have no friends and never be in a relationship because of my income. All my friends either make less than half my salary or more than double. There will always be an imbalance. The idea is for things to be complimentary, not the same. I do agree that relying on someone else's salary is a bit iffy. I wouldn't want to be with someone that depends on my salary to stay afloat. It puts a lot of pressure on me to sustain the relationship since I'd feel bad if I took away their food and shelter by …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:30 PM
1

I know if I was with a guy who was well-endowed, I would be much less likely to want to give head. With a smaller guy, he could honestly just whip it out anytime he wanted and I'd be happy to play with it. It has nothing to do with how much I care about the person, and more about what kind of equipment is fun to play with and how some equipment feels like a difficult chore. As for the second scenario, that makes plenty of sense. She got herself in a situation she didn't know how to change. Now t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:57 PM
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Platonic partnerships did wonders for my loneliness for me. I was in a 12 year relationship that was quite abusive at times. Afterwards I took a two year break from dating and instead spent a lot more time with my closest friends, often spending the night at their place. I was quite happy with this arrangement, enough so that it was tempting to not even date again. I did end up dating again since I had told myself that I would after two years regardless of how I felt about dating. This was a pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:38 PM
1

I did this and it has worked better than traditional dating apps. If I like someone's personality and how they make me feel, I'll naturally starting seeing them grow more and more attractive until they become the most attractive person I've ever seen. It can help if they start out attractive, but even if they don't it doesn't really matter since our rose colored glasses will always make the person look more attractive. Too often we let looks distract from personality, compatibility, and connecti…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 05:24 PM
6

There must be a replacement, since some of us were born without sexual attraction and don't feel chemistry with others. I'd like to think I am not less human due to my lack of sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:01 PM
51

Ethics isn’t why we don’t sell our bodies. We have no buyers. Bonnie Blue is just one woman. What does it say about the 1057 men that helped her reach her 12 hour goal? Do you think it would be so easy to find 1057 women who will all share the same man for 12 hours? Men certainly don’t have higher standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:34 AM
1

The halo effect is a well documented thing, so I agree on the value of appearance. But it is just one avenue. And it doesn’t work on everyone when it comes to dating, but it works often enough that a highly attractive person can always find plenty who will settle for someone who only brings appearance and bedroom appeal. But there are still plenty of people who aren’t built that way, or at least can’t find someone so attractive that they would sell out their values. Or perhaps they do see these …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 05:37 AM
0

Is there a handbook on black pill theory? I can only go off of what I find when I search the web, thus my surface level understanding. Since most people end up in relationships, the theory confuses me. The current system is far from ideal, but it isn't non-functional, otherwise there wouldn't be so many relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:03 AM
3

"make the other person happy." But not your spouse? Why is the line drawn there? The line is drawn because being too much of a people pleaser due to a need for constant validation is unhealthy and often results in over-giving which leads to resentment. I could happily give what I don't want to give to a spouse on a regular basis, but I'll inevitably become resentful for it. That doesn't mean I won't ever do something I don't want to for someone, but it just means I need to limit it to an amount …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:01 AM
3

"why did he so easily give them what he denies me?" Cuz many of us were little people pleasers that did a bunch of stuff to make the other person happy. Or we liked things, and now we don't. I used to have a lot of sex in vehicles in my younger years. I don't want to do that again no matter how much the other person is in the mood. If someone broke up with me because I wouldn't have car sex with them when I used to in the past, then it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:50 PM
1

I’m just saying the black pill stuff is stupid. Men’s ability to date isn’t based solely on money and a bunch of physical traits that can’t be changed. Looks aren’t everything, but they are something.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:25 PM
3

The narrative is stupid. We change. There are things I liked doing when I was younger I'd never do now. And there is some stuff I didn't do before that I might be willing to try now. I do not care what someone did before. I care what they do now. In your scenario, it should make no difference to the current gf if you used to give oral. It should only make a difference if she requires oral to be satisfied with the relationship. This narrative comes up most often for anal. And every guy is convinc…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:53 PM
6

I’m not trying to cook to get dates, that is just silly. I’m wanting to cook because I feel like it is a skill I should have and be comfortable with even though I can afford to eat out every meal. Also it could be nice to cook a meal for a loved one instead of just buying food. It is a bit more heartwarming that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:57 PM
1

I find the internet is making it easier. I have a compatibility rate that is 1/100,000. Staying locally is awful, but with the internet I can look for the right person. Locally I can't even find anyone I'd be interested in having a long term relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:20 PM
6

A good cover doesn't make for a good book, but it does get more people to open the book. Of course having money, looks, and charisma help get women to give a guy a chance. But in the same way that women wear makeup and do their hair to look nicer, men can also do things to look better. But those things only get women to give a guy a chance, it doesn't make them stay. It is those traits that are hard to advertise that keep the relationship going strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:14 PM
0

I suspect most of the men learned to cook while single, so they just naturally kept cooking once in a relationship. Among many of my friends, they just see themselves as the better cook so they cook so they can have meals they like more often. It isn't to keep their woman; that just happens to be a side effect. Among my conservative friends it is their thought that men are simply more competent than women, and that includes cooking so they cook so they can have better food.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:52 PM
13

Many men are just underperforming across the board. We used to make more money to compensate for underperforming in many other aspects of life, but now that the wage gap is disappearing, many men haven't figured out how to bring more to the table to compensate for not having that advantage anymore. Most of the men I know under 35 who are in successful relationships know how to cook, do chores, and are generally just competent. Even my Christian conservative friends in relationships all cook half…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:19 PM
1

Women I'm in a ltr with??? This seems like a silly question. The whole reason I would form an ltr or marriage is because I like/love them more than everyone else. I find sex a fair bit overrated. If I had to choose between a sexless marriage, or marriage with sex three times a week, I would be happier in a sexless marriage. I think once a month is a tolerable frequency.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:06 PM
0

Whoever has the higher standards of a clean home tends to do more cleaning. I don't value clean floors and surfaces as much as others, so I tend to never clean the floors or surfaces other than spot cleaning which I highly value. If I touch sticky spot on the floor or counter, I'll drop everything to take care of it, but I never do the entire floor until I notice how bad it is, which is far after someone else does. I find a roomba to be plenty sufficient to keep a floor clean most of the time. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:56 PM
2

What confuses me is the lack of awareness. I knew I was undesirable to be with. Even now after putting in significant work I am marginally acceptable and am striving to do better. But I have never seen it as an unfair gender thing. I look at how much effort women put into their appearance, and I feel like it could never be me. I put more effort into my appearance than I used to, but I couldn't imagine doing makeup each day, or putting so much effort into hair care. Gender norms are stupid, but g…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:33 PM
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I don't understand where anyone feels lied to about how dating works. The classic non-attractive guy often gets married if he can get the rest of his life in order. Among the few dozen men I work with, they are all married or divorced. Our most chad-like person on the team is also our short king, otherwise no one else looks like they have ever been to a gym. They do have stable jobs, and nearly half of them have a college degree. We do all make at least a little over the median salary in our are…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:51 PM
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We do flirt in front of our partner, but typically that flirting is directed to our partner. When they aren't around, then we flirt with whoever is around. We just like to have flirtatious banter because it is fun. I don't see this as micro-cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:11 PM
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I wouldn't flirt with someone else while my partner with me, not because they are watching, but because my partner would be getting all of my flirtatious attention. Who has the time to flirt with others while their partner is around? It is fun being flirtatious while out and about.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:05 PM
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The majority of bisexual people are monogamous. Ethical non-monogamy would be what you are referring to as "open-minded." If I am with a woman and she is having a fun night out with friends, why would I need to be "completely emotionally detached" to be with her? Most men I know are not this way with their spouse and yet their relationships seem to be just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:56 PM
2

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:40 PM
1

You are correct. In my mind I was thinking sexual abuse which is more commonly performed by fathers, but I didn't specify that in my message.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:39 PM
2

The men verbally and physically abuse their wives and they can’t divorce. There are a lot worse things men can do other than adultery. They often abuse their kids as well and the women still can’t leave their husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:31 PM
3

Philippines. People really hate on the idea of passport bros, but these women often benefit from these relationships vs staying in their own country.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:56 PM
10

Given my mother is one of the women who was "exploited" from a third world country, I very much disagree with this perspective. My mother's family greatly benefitted from her decision to marry someone from the western world. I don't think she has any regrets on her decision and is quite happy living in a better country and sending money to her family back home to help them out. She has put many of her family through college in her home country due to allowing herself to be "exploited" by someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:20 PM
3

You discussed being romantically attracted to men, which does describe me. I am simply saying as someone who falls into what you describe, I don’t see any association with red pill ideology. I don’t see how needing approval, status, or validation from a gender relates to being romantically attracted to that gender. Needing approval from a gender is separate from romantic attraction to a gender. I do agree if men need more sex, why not have sex with other men. There are plenty available and happy…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 08:44 PM
3

As someone who engages in romantic relationships with men, I can say I have never cared about getting male approval, male status, or male validation. I do not think these things are related to romantic attraction. I dislike a decent chunk of red pill viewpoints, but I have to say this argument is just silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 04:12 PM
4

If men would go back to doing more 'other' things with men, maybe they wouldn't thirst so much for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 04:02 PM
41

If by being "set" you mean depending on another for your survival and being at the mercy of their decisions and mood, then sure. Undoubtedly women are better at having that particular type of opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:40 PM
–

If men got desirable attention from everyone for dressing in revealing clothing, many men would dress the same way. It depends on the environment. In some places I get compliments for dressing in outfits that some would consider "gay" but in other places I get bullied for the same outfit. The same happens for women, but more places are accepting of the revealing outfits. It isn't a male patriarchy thing, it is just that guys don't get positive attention for dressing in revealing clothing in many…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:08 PM
1

Sad is if someone waits until marriage, and then finds out they don't actually like sex and their spouse does. Sex workers give an opportunity for some people to find out what aspects of sex they like if any and lets them know how much they value it and what kind of frequency they might be interested in. Obviously these things can be learned through repeated failed relationships, but why go through all the heartache and disappointment when there are professionals who can help answer these questi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:28 PM
13

The average guy can get someone. I do agree at a certain age if you haven't had sex, it makes it a bit awkward to date. Just go find a sex worker and give it a whirl. Let's you know what you like and alleviates some of the anxiety that comes with dating. Give men a try as well. If you end up enjoying sex with men then you basically hit the jackpot for sexual opportunities. Personally though, I find sex to be incredibly overrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:20 PM
9

It really isn't that low for us to think our lives may be worse with someone in it as a partner. There is so much variety to people. My life would undoubtedly be worse if I was in a relationship with the majority of people out there. Not that those people are bad, they just aren't right for me and I am not right for them. What really puzzles me is this concept that most of us want to be in relationships with a universally accepted Chad or Stacy. The reality is that we each have our personal pref…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 09:01 PM
0

Roughly 40% of women choose to have an abortion due to not being financially ready. Another 20% say it is because of school or career plans. That means over half of all abortions are done for financial reasons. Women are getting out of pregnancies because of financial issues, but men aren’t able to do the same. Bodily autonomy is why abortions should be legal, regardless if people think it is immoral. Financial abortion, the right to abandon, or whatever we want to call a man shirking his duties…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 11:18 PM
4

I already don't feel like much of a man as it stands, but I'd prefer to be born a man than a woman. Being born a woman seems kind of rough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:28 PM
2

It is mostly men who shame women for being size queens, and that can make some women feel bad for having that preference. As for the rest of the comment, sorry about that, that is why I left it somewhat vague yet a bit crude the first time. When you described it as "weird" I interpreted that as unexpected, so I provided clarification on why it is reasonable to expect someone to not have an ideal size preference for all activities. I now realize you meant "weird" also as unexpected, but from a "t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:38 PM
6

While I would never use the financial abortion option I do think men should be able to have the option to sign away their rights for a certain period of time during the pregnancy. If the woman wishes to continue with the pregnancy instead of having an abortion, then she is choosing to take on the financial responsibility knowing there will be no support from the father. This seems the most fair. Men shouldn't be able to force a woman to have an abortion, or force women not to have an abortion. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:24 PM
0

"Women have different preferences on size." This lets women not feel bad if they a preference on large sizes, and this shows men that not every woman prefers a large size. As far as three holes, I apologize for the crude remark and have removed details from this message to keep this message more appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:43 PM
1

Girth tends to matter more than length for most people. Also there are angles, movement, hand usage, and other factors that impact satisfaction other than size. Many women are able to give other women orgasms using just their hands, so there is a lot more to an orgasm than length. Also a lot of smaller guys tend to put more effort to compensate for their lack of size, so if you haven't tried it, who knows maybe you'll like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:28 PM
1

I think it is completely reasonable and I appreciate the question. Just like guys have different anatomy, women also have different anatomy and appreciate different sizes. This view needs to be normalized instead of the polarizing views of "bigger is always better" or "you are a bad person if you require a bigger size." Mind you there is some flexibility in preferences since there are three potential holes, and it is unlikely that the same size is ideal for all three so there is always some leve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:23 PM
0

I think honesty is the best policy. Offering options like toys and sleeves shows you are willing to make it work so I don't find that insulting. Just like guys don't choose their anatomy, you didn't choose to have an anatomy that requires a larger size for satisfaction. I'd much rather have feedback letting me know it is an anatomical issue rather than me wondering if I was accidentally rude or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:57 PM
5

For myself, I'd want the person I am dating to discuss it with me. I wouldn't be offended at suggestions at options such as toys and sleeves. I would find it a bit endearing that I am desirable enough that these would be suggested instead of just dating someone else. Just explain that your anatomy seems to require a larger size for penetration. Hopefully you like giving oral, because if you do, that makes for a pretty good compromise for the guy. Personally I find a larger size better for penetr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:46 PM
1

Men get away with being angry all the time at work. We call it being a passionate assertive leader, and when women are angry we call it being a bitch. It is unfair, but that is how the world sees it. The only spot I can think of where being an angry man is worse is at a traffic stop. Police officers seem to have much more patience for angry women than angry men, likely due to angry men being perceived as a greater threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:32 PM
7

Women filter out most men prior to dating. Men are willing to date and have sex with a wider range of women, but these men filter out many of the women prior to committing to a long term relationship. This causes men to complain they can't get dates or sex, and women to complain they can't get a committed long term relationship. This is the generalized case of course and there are plenty of exceptions including myself. I would rather filter out more early since I value long term commitment and I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:15 PM
1

It isn't a dealbreaker, just a red flag. It causes me to look for other behaviors to see if there is a concerning explanation for the lack of friends across genders. And yeah, I get it. I work in a male dominated career field, so there are very few women. But it still seems plenty possible to make friends of both genders. My religious conservative male friends don't have any female friends, but nearly all of my other friends have friends of both genders. I have many different friend circles, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:58 PM
–

Things were never fine for trans people, but it wasn't in the forefront of the news. Suddenly people wanted to start making laws restricting trans rights. There were no bathroom bills before, and people were able to get transgender care. Now we make laws to restrict restroom usage and medical care options for transgender people. Why is this happening? Because distracting people with trans issues allows politicians to take corrupt action without the masses noticing. It hurts the country, and it h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:09 AM
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I can't craft a decent argument for their side. That is why I have yet to lose the argument. Their side is indefensible. This isn't like gun laws where there is some level of merit on both sides. I can argue either side of gun laws all day. Same with assisted suicide, abortion, or any other hot topic to debate. I could make a case to ban alcohol or legalize heroin for personal use. Both of those have more merit than the bathroom bills people keep proposing. A law to force people to use the restr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:01 AM
5

I have friends and family that are women. I don't want the government to dictate their medical decisions. Therefore I have skin in the game. My opinion is simple. Abortion is immoral, but outlawing it is worse. It is a decision for the woman and she can choose to consult with her doctor, family, friends, and community. It shouldn't be a government decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:26 AM
–

Bathroom laws to restrict people from using the bathroom they feel most comfortable in have no valid standing. I've had this argument several times in person and I win every single time the same way. Men talk about not wanting their wife or daughter in a restroom with a man who thinks he is a woman, and people should just use their restroom of their birth. I then show the guy a picture of Jayceon Dido and tell him per his own rule, he would tell Jayceon he must use the same restroom as their dau…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:11 AM
4

Some men seem to really value having a sexual partner that they are attracted to. So much so that they will be in relationships with people that they wouldn't ever be close friends with if there was no sex involved. It seems weird to me, since I'd feel super lonely being in a relationship with someone that I can't form a close friendship with, but it seems to be a somewhat common occurrence to form these relationships anyway. I suspect women are less willing to do this, thus they have higher sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:06 AM
3

Of course, because there is a FOMO aspect to it. But once we've experienced at least one relationship, then we know it isn't a magical panacea to fix our lives and we need to figure out how to be happy without a relationship. Once we do that then we can become happy with a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:56 AM
5

There are no shortage of studies that come to the conclusion that single women are happier than single men. Just search the web and you'll see studies from PubMed and from the University of Toronto. Since few men are juggling multiple relationships, this means women have about the same number of relationships as men if we are not factoring in queer relationships. Sometimes by age group you can see a difference, but that is typically because there may be more 29 year old women dating 31 year old …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:54 AM
2

Women put that pressure on themselves because of societal pressures which include the environment someone is raised in which causes someone to put that pressure on themselves. An easy example is that many men don't shave their armpits, but if a woman doesn't shave her armpits, society tends to judge that poorly. I said societal pressure, not men pressuring women. Plenty of the societal pressure is women pressuring other women to improve their appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:45 PM
7

I did it. Certainly other men can learn to be happy single. I spent a couple years after my last relationship making my life enjoyable as a single person. Once I enjoyed my life and the path of improvement I was on, I started dating again. Since I was happy single, I didn’t feel pressured to accept the first person willing to be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:25 PM
2

This is a green flag for me. I appreciate radical honesty and would rather save time if there are deal breakers. Why go on three dates only to find out that the other person requires me to be devoutly religious, or I find out the other person approves of discrimination against LGBT people. Possessive isn't cool at anytime. It is possible to value a person without being possessive. This can be fine if used medically. When it impedes someone from having a healthy social/work life, then it is probl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:51 PM
24

What puts men at a disadvantage in dating is that single women are happier than single men. This makes single men more desperate for a relationship and women often find these unhappy desperate men less desirable. As long as men are more dissatisfied with single life than women, men will always be disadvantaged when seeking a relationship. The sense of urgency for many centuries was always on women, so men had the advantage. Women wanted to have children and this put pressure to marry early to ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:35 PM
7

And society often expects women to put more time and money into their appearance. There are a bunch of heteronormative expectations put on both genders. In the end it all results in the same thing which is people having difficulties finding a long term healthy relationship which makes dating an equal struggle as a whole for each gender, even if the struggles look different for each gender. On an individual level there can be varying differences in struggle. An unattractive, uncharismatic, impove…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:17 PM
8

If the goal of dating is a healthy long lasting relationship, then men can't be at a disadvantage because of women's preferences. Men not finding healthy long lasting relationships due to a lack of confidence means there are as many women who also haven't found a relationship since they can't find a confident partner, thus the end result is equal for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 04:21 PM
–

It isn't a death sentence to dating. If you use your hands well while penetrating then it really doesn't matter on length that much. It does limit access to positions, and even more so depending on weight of the two people involved, so that part is a bit of a bummer. At least you have some girth. For me it feels like chucking a hotdog down a hallway so I don't really enjoy penetration that much. I prefer to wear a strap-on so I can focus on giving pleasure instead of dealing with my own equipmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:59 AM
1

A bunch of sex and relationships would make me feel lonely. If I wanted that, I could go on Grindr and get these things immediately from men, or use any other dating app and get them eventually from women. I want connection. I want someone who is excited for my small achievements. Someone I am excited for their small achievements. Someone who is always looking out for me, as I am always looking out for them. So many men are so distracted by sexlessness they don't even understand the loneliness t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:50 PM
1

Matters the guy for me at $10 million. Like if Trump offered me $10 million, I'd have to decline. Not just because he is super old, but it would just bother me having sex with someone I don't respect. Not to mention I'd probably become famous for it which is a whole different issue. Being famous for giving my bum up for $10 million is far less than ideal, but doing so for someone I don't respect is far worse. I'd rather just work my normal job instead. Even if it stayed a secret, I'd still know …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:11 AM
3

Do you think it would destroy your self-esteem if a man tied you up and raped you instead? I am curious if it is the activity that hurts your self-esteem so much, or is it choosing to do that activity in exchange for money. Like which one would make it more difficult for you to live a happy life. Hypothetically speaking of course, I wish no harm on anyone, I am just trying to understand people better since your viewpoint is very unrelatable to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:53 AM
1

I don't think it is the most pathetic thing a man could do. Men find all sorts of more pathetic stuff. Like when guys talk this big talk about what they are going to say the next time they see someone they are upset with, and then when they do they just become the most meek person. That is way more pathetic than selling one's bum for some extra money. I don't even think selling one's bum for cash is necessarily pathetic. It is simply a decision. I guess if a guy was strongly against people havin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:31 AM
4

False. I'm not attracted to any gender and I still manage to do stuff. I'm rarely excited about it, but I can be persuaded due to my desire to make someone else happy or just because it can be fun. People have sex with people they aren't attracted to all the time. Usually it is of their preferred gender, but it doesn't have to be. Some stuff just objectively feels good for some people. Like if a guy was blindfolded before his girlfriend goes to give a bj. If instead a smooth-faced guy secretly s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:21 AM
1

I'd consider it, but realistically it would be no. It would matter how much money, and how comfortable I would feel with the person and situation. For more money, I'd be willing to trade some level of comfort, but obviously I need to be very confident in my personal safety otherwise no money is worth the risk. The challenge is that if it were enough money to get me to do so, I'd be concerned on my safety since why would someone pay me so much for me to provide so little. That is why I say realis…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:04 AM
0

Not dating an individual because we lack the desire to is not discrimination. Not personally dating someone due to their race is absolutely discrimination. I do think OF creators and others in a similar field are shamed, but that is mostly by people who don't partake in that stuff, or are pretending like they don't partake in that stuff due to their religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:37 PM
4

I do not see not dating someone as the same as shaming them. I do think they are both signs negative feelings towards a person, but I do not see them as equivalent. I intentionally didn't match the OPs words because OP said shaming and I don't think most people shame OF, as much as they wouldn't date someone doing it. Still discrimination against a person, but it isn't the same as shaming. I wouldn't have a problem dating someone who did OF or porn, but I think I am in the minority. I experience…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:16 PM
37

There are women who will buy Starbucks, but won't date a guy who works at Starbucks. Who we will date doesn't always relate to where we get our products and services from. I don't think most guys shame women who work OF or porn. They just won't date someone who does those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:34 PM
7

Agreed. There is no universal fairness to a relationship. Some may split chores, some don’t. Some may require monogamy, some don’t. The one right everyone has in a relationship is the right to leave the relationship if they are dissatisfied. There are still human rights, like the right to not be physically abused. Everything else are boundaries and compatibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:48 PM
1

Trading up is what others call it. I even put quotes around it because I don’t see it as trading up. Either way there will always be more attractive people than ourselves. That is no reason to give up on relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:42 PM
4

Better communication, more empathy, more wisdom, better knowledge of what they want, more humble, more developed personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:05 PM
1

You see the world too binary. No one is perfect. That includes people who are manipulative. The more time we are given, the higher chance we can detect someone being manipulative. No one can act perfectly deliberate at all times. At some point we just react without thinking. Someone being manipulative will give themselves away if given enough time. Being manipulative in any given instance is easy enough. To put on a fake persona for a moment is easy. To do so consistently for 90 days is far more…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:47 PM
3

Why aren't you comfortable? Statistically, it is pretty much impossible that anyone ends up with the most physically attractive person they will ever meet. This goes in both directions. That means every relationship in the world is between two people who do not find their partner the most physically attractive person they have ever met. And yet we all get in relationships anyway. Clearly it isn't bothering the rest of us, which suggests you are overthinking something, or you have some unresolved…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:38 PM
5

Do you not have any value beyond your appearance? Would a guy not want to be with you just because you are fun to be around and have some wonderful qualities such as empathy, humor, authenticity, ambition or kindness? Are you an object or a person? If you feel you are an inadequate person, then get better. If you are an adequate person, then have some self-esteem and pride yourself on your non-physical qualities in addition to your physical attractiveness. If guys just wanted to sleep with young…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:27 PM
1

Do you need someone to love you for your body? There are plenty of men that aren't so obsessed with the body. To me I value the history I build with someone far more than their body or their mind. It is why I will never "trade up" in a relationship. If you want to see this philosophy in action, ask any parent if they would trade their kid for a better one. There are some parents who actually would make that trade, but many would rather keep their own kid. It isn't much different with life partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:05 PM
1

Absolutely, it only does well at filtering out people who are honest and impatient with their intentions. It does give 90 days to get a better read on the person and I think that is what gives more value to the 90 day rule. Another benefit of the 90 day rule is not ending up in a relationship with someone that is incompatible simply because the sex is good. I don't think the 90 day rule is bad, but it is far from a catch all when looking for people who want real commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:39 PM
1

Actively dating. I have used apps, but I am off of them at the moment. I have yet to ask a woman out IRL. The compatibility likelihood is too low for me to consider IRL. The latest person I am dating is from Reddit. Being on PPD reminds me that not everyone has horrific views on gender. I also like that I see other bi men interacting with the cishet world. Bi guys are so hidden IRL that I have never knowingly met one. As for whether PPD helps or hurts, I think it helps since it lets me see what …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:11 PM
2

Red flags don't simply mean flaws. One of my red flags is someone that won't reveal any flaws. Everyone has flaws, and those that try to hide them aren't the open communicators I am looking for. It shows insecurity which I would have been more accepting of in my younger years, but I am old enough that people near my age should have resolved most of their insecurities by now. If a person I date forgets to pay a parking ticket and has a late fee, I would see that as a flaw. I wouldn't see that as …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:30 PM
28

As a man who has put in the work as I got older, I am confused why I would want younger women? I want a higher quality partner than I would have chosen in my younger years. We develop quality overtime. Just as I got better over time, I would expect women to also have improved over time. Why would I seek a younger woman who still has much to learn from the world? Why lower my standards to younger women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:45 PM
1

There are plenty of asexual people who only do monogamous relationships despite not wanting to have sex. Sometimes it is a dealbreaker for the other person, but there are some people who are fine accepting a sexless relationship. How about the other person just end the relationship if they are unhappy with the amount of sex? Why do they need to cheat? If I am married with someone and they are unsatisfied with something, I expect them to let me know. If I am unwilling to change to accommodate the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:22 PM
3

- What are the real challenges you personally face in dating? I don't like sex as much as most people. I also am bi, which is a big turnoff for most women. - What patterns have you personally noticed in your own experiences? Everyone always says I didn't do anything wrong. "It's not you, it's me" is such a cliche, but I've heard it from the 3 of the 5 people I've ever dated or been in a relationship with. Of the remaining two, one was far too negative to be a life partner so I didn't ask for a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:27 AM
4

The apocalypse greatly impacts everyone and results in the death of most of society. Self-esteem can be recovered other ways other than sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 11:36 PM
13

It is estimated that eating a beef hotdog shaves 36 minutes off our life span. I like living, yet I keep eating these hotdogs. We do all sorts of stuff to shorten our own life spans. I have to worry about my own health before I try to have sex with the world for the sake of their health. Realistically, if I had to have sex with a man to prevent a zombie apocalypse, I'd certainly do it. But I'm not going to have sex with men to boost their self-esteem. It isn't like men have a programmed code tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:50 PM
2

Women wouldn't know that the guy lied about being unavailable for her first suggested time. Of course she would be turned off if she knew he lied. But she would likely find it more attractive than a guy that always says the time she selected is good since she'll perceive he has no life since he is always available. It is generally not assumed that someone who is dating is exclusive until the relationship is defined. That is just normal, so I don't think it would turn most women off since women a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:30 PM
4

There were other issues in the JCPenney case as they alienated their most loyal customers while trying to cater to a younger crowd. Additionally transparent pricing requires a marketing campaign to let people know why there are no more sales. Costco doesn't do sales based pricing, yet they sell more volume per store and per sq ft of retail space than any other retailer. But that is because we all know Costco sells everything at a good price for consumers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:06 PM
2

I think you misunderstand the red pill strat. I am not a red piller and prefer the radical honesty approach, but I can acknowledge the effectiveness of what they recommend even if I don't use it. I'll refute all four points below. It isn't about acting flakey, it is about making her not feel like the top priority early on in the dating process. The idea is that the man has a good life that he enjoys and he isn't desperate. That is why he isn't always available and he won't rearrange his schedule…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 03:54 PM
5

Do you not interact with taken men either, or just women?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 08:15 PM
11

So how does someone who is bi react to this type of behavior? If the idea is that we are expected to not talk to the gender we are attracted to, do bi people not talk to anyone beyond minor exchanges due to fear of potential attraction? As far as I can tell, it is just a heteronormative insecurity. If bi people lived by this standard then they would never have friends. If bi people can be friends with both genders without fear of it leading to attraction, why can't hetero people do the same? I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:35 PM
8

My ex and I would go for long drives whenever he wanted to talk since he knew me driving was one of the best ways to get me to pay attention. Driving takes just enough focus for me that there is not enough excess mental energy to get distracted while having a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:40 PM
14

This idea of not spending time with the other gender never made sense to me. My friends are pretty split across gender, so losing half my friends upon getting in a relationship seems less than desirable. Also given I am bi, am I supposed to not spend time with any friends when I am in a relationship? Seems silly to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:36 PM
1

Like most things, the answer is that it depends. Attraction is not always amoral. A lack of romantic success is a mix of bad luck and self-inflicted issues. Will a guy have more success in getting first dates being 6' tall instead of 5' tall if all other things are equal? Probably, but that doesn't mean the shorter guy can't get first dates. When someone can't get any dates, they are either targeting types of people who don't like them, or they have some unattractive qualities they need to corre…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:24 PM
3

I don’t think it should be mandatory. But if either parent wants one it should be done. We should also have a database with everyone’s DNA to make it easier to solve crimes. It shouldn’t be enough to convict in most cases but it can at least help guide the investigation to find more evidence. I don’t see the value in DNA privacy from the government except to hide from crimes. I could see normal businesses using it to factor in hiring or advertising so they probably shouldn’t have that data.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:23 AM
–

Over 50% of women experience harassment when jogging, where only 4% of men experience harassment when jogging. I can roam the streets unbothered much more easily than a woman. I work with a bunch of people who all make between 2x and 4x the median salary of my area, and they are 95% men. Men have plenty of advantages still. We also have disadvantages. If someone wanted to say the struggles are equal but different, I wouldn't necessarily argue it, but I don't think I could agree that women have i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:35 PM
17

But no one wants men to go back to how they were when they would just grab and kiss a woman without asking. That isn’t a debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:46 PM
8

Men should quit behaving like dogs if they want to be treated like humans
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:55 PM
32

What is the debate? Gender dynamics should go in the bin. People can focus on improving their own lives and learn to be honest with each other. If they find a loving partner, good for them. If they don't, that is fine too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:53 PM
–

None of these strategies should be relevant during a relationship for redpillers. These are all strategies prior to the start of a relationship to generate additional attraction. The downside to using strategies like this to generate more attraction is that it doesn't help with filtering for compatibility. Tactics can't be used to sustain a lifelong relationship. Things will eventually become stale and the incompatibilities will inevitably cause issues. Thus my approach is radical honesty, where…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:28 PM
–

I think you misunderstand the red pill strat. I am not a red piller and prefer the radical honesty approach, but I can acknowledge the effectiveness of what they recommend. I'll refute all four points below. It isn't about acting flakey, it is about making her not feel like the top priority. The idea is that the man has a good life that he enjoys and he isn't desperate. That is why he isn't always available for any day and won't rearrange his schedule for her. The idea is for it to cause the wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:47 PM
7

If I understand this right, if the man offers to pay, then you offer to split and he accepts the split, then you wouldn't want to see him again? No wonder there are so many men who are jerks about insisting on paying. I try to be respectful of autonomy of others so I've been accepting any offers to split on a first date, and some of the offers on later dates. It can be a struggle for me since I really would prefer to pay for most dates so I don't feel guilty about expensive outings. I make more …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:53 PM
5

Who wanted the wars to be fought? Sure the men were exploited, but they were exploited by other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:01 PM
2

I complimented a girl for her really cool glasses and she said thanks. I don't think it is an issue for men to compliment women on their appearance. I generally don't make comments about a person's body unless I am dating them or it is about a change of weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:33 PM
2

Naturally there is some stereotyping, hence the term “many” and “usually” and not “all” or “always” were used. I have no rule against dating single mothers or women with unplanned children, it is just that all of them I have met have come off far more sexual than many of the single women I’ve met without kids. This could be simply variance due to a small sample size or perhaps most women are like that and the single mothers are more expressive about it. It is possible that I am just projecting w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:25 PM
3

Single and lonely before being in a relationship feels the worst. There is all the FOMO stuff and it hurts our self-image and how we think we are perceived. Lonely in a relationship is really bad. Single and lonely after having been in a relationship isn't nearly as bad. It doesn't have the FOMO and it doesn't feel nearly as lonely as being in a relationship and feeling alone As for kids, I'd like to pass the things I've learned to a kid to make the world a bit easier on them than it was for me.…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:31 AM
–

The point of a creative/high energy date should be to have fun. If there is no fun, then it is certainly a waste of time. Regardless if the dating converts into a relationship, it should still have been worthwhile. If it isn't, then the wrong date idea was picked. Anyone that I seem compatible to go on a second date with is likely someone I'll have fun going out onto creative dates with. Even if that second date ends up being the last one, I'll still have enjoyed myself and thought it was worth …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:16 AM
–

I chose my abuser. I saw all the signs. I knew my ex was destructive and often broke things when angry and would punch holes in the wall. I even saw my ex punch a friend when upset and that was before we got together. I could see the remorse despite often not seeing the improvement. I just didn't have much self esteem back then and my ex scooped me up from the lowest point in my life. Built me into someone much better with proper self esteem, and while the abuse continued I stuck around anyway b…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:54 AM
–

Most of the time men have a reason that is hidden from other people when they have a breakup. But presuming the relationship was actually healthy, there is one reason for it that comes to mind. It is possible the guy really enjoyed the infatuation phase of the relationship and longs for it again. So he breaks up and starts a new relationship. Once that one starts to stabilize, he realizes this is just how relationships work and that new relationship energy can't last forever. So then he settles …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:38 AM
1

No one is giving that advice. My advice that aligns a bit more blue pill is to try to become the best version of yourself and make your life enjoyable. Then find someone to invite into your life. Too many people want a relationship when they aren't happy people. Who is going to see someone that is unhappy and want to be a part of their life. If a person is miserable single, they will probably be miserable in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:27 AM
–

It is statistically unreasonable anyone we date will be able to get a review from someone you dated previously unless are literally dating an ex's friend or you are dating multiple people from the same small group, such as classmates or coworkers. Everyone I have ever dated has never had a conversation with someone I previously dated. I wouldn't be against them having that conversation since I am a transparent fellow, but that conversation will never happen unless I orchestrate it. These women a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:09 AM
14

My dating experience doesn't seem to align to what you say happens. I've never fully paid for a first date, it is either a split or I am treated to a meal. The other person generally plans and organizes the early dates instead of me. I don't ever feel like I take the lead, and I don't exactly know what "perform" means. I am far from the top 10% of wealth, status, and looks. We both prove our value, that part is equal. If the person I am dating doesn't prove their value, then I would stop dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:16 AM
–

You were almost all the way there in your analysis. The men are the product and are advertising themselves. The problem is the men will make all sorts of false promises about their product hoping women will buy into it. We are all guilty of making bad purchases due to false advertising, and with women choosing men it is far worse since they can't just look up a bunch of reviews on the product. Imagine having to purchase every product without looking at any reviews or getting any opinions from an…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:42 AM
2

Most people I've had sex with were outside the context of a relationship. I am also happy to have a sexless relationship, even a sexless marriage. I don't see how sex and relationships have to be coupled together. I do agree sex and consent go hand in hand, as do relationships and consent. Many scientists estimate the ideal population of the Earth is between 2 to 4 billion people. We are well over that already, so there is no reason we should feel a societal need to reproduce. If the world popul…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:35 AM
1

They literally call it "settling down" when someone fully commits to a relationship. Of course it is settling. For some reason some people have a really negative connotation for the word settle. No one will find an ideal person. There is always something that could be better. Any relationship would require me to settle for a less than ideal person. But I won't settle for someone that is not worth settling for. And since I like single life plenty, I am particular about whom I would consider settl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:07 PM
–

I don't think it is. You just asked for an example. Like I said, I don't have a blanket-wide issue against women or feminists. As far as blanket issues, I think toxic masculinity is a big issue that hurts both men and women, yet is reinforced by many men and women. The idea that men need to be stoic providers that avoid feminine actions is harmful to men and women. The easiest way to show women perpetuating toxic masculinity is asking women if they are ok with dating bisexual men. The majority o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:40 PM
4

I agree that most men likely see it different. But a statement like “sex feels infinitely better than masturbating” implies that it the norm for all of us so some of us chime in to say otherwise. In my experience masturbating is usually better than sex. Not always, but those rare times sex is better isn’t seem worth chasing after for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:41 PM
–

My brother’s ex wife would always make fun of him for crying during movies. Having empathy just makes for a better world. It isn’t expected of you. I don’t hold anyone to a standard of always being empathetic, not even myself. I just try to be as empathetic as I can and encourage it in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:36 PM
4

I do consider myself asexual. The activity does seem to be very overrated no matter how many times I try and with whom. It isn't ever bad, it just isn't that good either and I can usually do better by myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:13 PM
7

I'd trade my ability to have sex for the ability to never miss when throwing garbage into a trash can. I think that would be far more enriching to my life than any amount of sex. But it does seem to be really important to other people. My brain is just built different it seems since I can't relate to all the people who throw away their careers, marriages, and freedom for sex. I can take care of myself plenty well enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:41 PM
–

I can think of times women mistreat men (women making fun of men when they cry during a movie), but I can't think of anything specifically tied to feminists. I don't have a problem with feminists, but in general I am very much against any escalation of hateful action, and OP's solution comes off as very negative for everyone involved and I feel like it shouldn't be engaged in. Even if I disagree with his viewpoint against feminists, I still wish to offer a healthier outlet for him to express his…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:30 PM
5

Your solution just causes people like me to stand against you. If you just throw fire at fire, then you give them evidence on how bad men are. Your solution makes men look bad, and I stand against it for the sake of the women you would wish to mistreat, and the men whose reputation would be tarnished by your actions. The last thing we need is a bunch of radical men proving how terrible men are. Simply walking away from women who mistreat you works far better, ideally after providing some calm fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:02 PM
1

Your issue with point 5 is a weird one to me. My timeline is different with each relationship. I also have zero desire to treat people the same as my previous relationships. I would hope I have improved with each relationship so I would expect to treat each person better than the last. I also don't want to do the same things in my past relationships in future ones. Having car sex was a thing in my younger years. I don't want to do that anymore. If a current partner expected me to do that because…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:33 PM
2

I am asexual. While I am somewhere between sex-indifferent and sex-favorable, I definitely lack the lust all the people around me seem to have. This lets me focus on people for compatibility. The problem is that people who experience lust don't like it when I don't feel lust for them. They think that I find them unattractive and makes them feel worse about themselves. Most people don't like feeling like their partner is with them in spite of their undesirable appearance. Mind you, that doesn't m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:18 PM
1

That is a shame. I guess the big church in my town is more unique then. As someone also in my mid 30s, I would say that dating seems a bit better at this age since many people have lived enough life to build character and are much more direct than people in their 20s who won't speak their mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:52 PM
12

A lot of people don't understand what it is to be asexual. As an asexual man who will occasionally have sex, the lack of lust is a much bigger deal than people realize. I generally don't initiate sex due to the lack of lust, and allosexual (non-asexual) people tend to feel really bad when they are with someone who doesn't have sexual attraction towards them, even if their partner is willing to have sex with them. Allosexual people often feel unloved and unattractive in a relationship with an ase…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:40 PM
1

Dating definitely got easier once I switched to dating asexual people. Not having to deal with the lust nonsense has greatly improved the dating process.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:17 PM
2

Do any of the churches in your area do single and mingle nights? They do that in my town and it seems to have decent success. One of my buddies met his wife at church, and they have been married for a few years now. They even have a single and 30+ night for people who are older and still looking for a partner. I never considered going since I would prefer to not be with a Christian since I am not one either despite my periodic church attendance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:13 PM
3

Why do women get Henry Cavill and we get Sydney Sweeney? That is garbage. I would absolutely date Henry Cavill, but I have no interest in Sydney Sweeney. She seems like a terrible person regardless of how well she can look in jeans. I think Henry Cavill would be able to form a deep connection in a relationship. It isn't like he is Leonardo DiCaprio who dumps every woman once they turn 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:03 PM
1

Looks, status, and money isn't bad advice. It also isn't the endgame for being a good partner. It is just the qualifier to have an opportunity for a relationship. Each women values those things differently and have a different minimum requirement, but they are valued. But if that is all a man delivers, then he won't be able to sustain a marriage. Look at how many men who have all three and still get divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:51 PM
-2

Looks absolutely matter, but there are plenty of women who like different looks. Genetics aren't a huge factor, but if someone looks like they smell bad, then they are going to struggle dating regardless of how they actually smell. And that can be remedied by how a man dresses. What blue pill fights against is the idea that people who are 5'6" and 190lbs can't get dates. They can, but they have to clean up their appearance, social skills, and be mindful that doesn't mean they can date any single…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:45 PM
3

This is actually a problem I have as an asexual guy. Only difference is since I don't have sexual attraction, I see no reason to be hetero, so I'll date people of any gender. Unless I mention dating men, everyone assumes I am a heterosexual male. Even if I do mention dating men, they presume I am bisexual. The problem is when I date someone who isn't asexual. Even if I have sex, they can feel that I am not sexually into them. I could try to fake it like the women who fake orgasms, but I just don…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:19 PM
–

I got fat. But the sex slowed down before I got fat because I would never initiate and my ex got sick of always being the one to initiate. It felt weird for me to initiate something that I wasn’t particularly excited to do when I don’t know if my ex was in the mood or not. I’m never in the mood which means I am good to go whenever or never since there is no good timing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:52 AM
–

If I am not broken, then I would say sex is not important since it is not entrenched in my life. It seems like people go to great lengths for sex and it just doesn't seem to be worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 12:44 AM
–

If I don't feel any physiological need for sex, and sex doesn't make me feel any love or belonging, does that make me less human? Would I be considered broken, or simply different?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 12:38 AM
–

It used to be a few times a week for at least a year or two. I have a few times in the past year, but I just don't really care for the activity. It is rarely a bad experience, but it isn't particularly amazing either. It is enjoyable, but so is a chorizo burrito, and it is generally easier to have a chorizo burrito.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 12:32 AM
–

Sex seems pretty insignificant to me. I would trade away my ability to have sex for the rest of my life for the minimally useful superpower of having every I shot I take into a garbage can always going in when throwing trash away.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 12:26 AM
0

It doesn't matter if the fashion or style is trending. It is about self-expression. It isn't about effort to match the trend. It is about effort to wear things that align to your self-expression. Graphic tee and jeans can look good, but it really shouldn't be someone's only look and I feel like it is for so many men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:05 PM
–

Why not include all the hobbies? I mention video games and anime, but I also mention pickleball, hiking, and travelling. This makes it easier for me to find someone who can appreciate that I have nerdy hobbies, but also know I like to be active and outdoors. If someone is turned off by nerdy hobbies they can just save us both time and swipe left. The goal shouldn't be to get more matches. The goal is the find the right match.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:49 PM
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I disagree. I think many "normal" dudes can be so desperate for sex and attention that they will take any woman. Thus making them an interchangeable fleshlight. Meanwhile chads have no desperation, thus they can afford to be more choosy and are very deliberate with who they select to settle down with, thus their partner is not interchangeable. Desperate men don't value women for who they are; they value women for being a method to quench their thirst. And since they don't know if they can get an…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:36 PM
0

Fashion isn't about money for most people. When someone lacks style, it suggests they may lack personality, consistency, effort, thoughtfulness, etc. If someone is neglectful of their own appearance, it suggests can be neglectful in a relationship. New relationship energy will fuel someone in the beginning, but when that dies down, they just won't be attentive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:02 PM
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It is a likelihood difference. I can leave my drinks unattended at bars as a man and the risk of being roofied is so small it may as well be zero. I can be alone with a date and if making out starts leading towards unwanted sex, I can just say that I'm not into it with minimal risk of sexual assault. The risk of me being assaulted doesn't increase much by dating. The risk of women getting assaulted goes up significantly by dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:27 PM
3

In my experience, every woman with a full-time job has always insisted on splitting the bill on a first date, followed by taking turns on covering future bills. Are you referring to people without a full-time job? Certainly if one person has as full-time job and the other doesn't, it isn't unreasonable for the full-time person to cover the bill. Post-college it seems unreasonable to date people without a full-time job. It doesn't even have to be a paying job, it could be volunteer work at an ani…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:23 PM
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With age comes money, and money can help build attractiveness. I was a 1.4 out of 10 before, and I managed to build myself up to a 5 out of 10. I am undoubtedly more attractive to someone 12 years younger than me than I was when I was the same age as them. So I think the statement still can apply to unattractive people. It isn't a guarantee though. If I just kept bumming it up, then I'd just be worse not better than I was in my younger years. And that is just talking appearance. If I factor in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:38 PM
9

Very well said. Certainly children's needs are a priority, but a part of that priority is showing them what a healthy relationship looks like. By overprioritizing the children, we neglect our own individual needs, and the needs of a relationship. I grew up in a house where it was normal for my mother to get upset at my father and threaten him with a kitchen knife. My decade long relationship was with someone who did the same thing to me. I knew it was a bit dysfunctional, but I didn't realize ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:12 PM
2

I think there is another option. The men aren't asking the right women. If "he just wasn't attractive" then why doesn't the man ask a woman out who is also not attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:17 AM
1

It wasn’t the child support that concerned me, it was more that I wasn’t related to anyone in a happy marriage other than my grandparents who grew up in a completely different era. Either way I have since seen plenty of happy marriages so I feel differently on it now
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:25 PM
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This is almost always scenario one. If it was scenario two, the person probably wouldn't be with you. The last sentence seems funny to me since I want to be the the safe, lower-desire, less exciting option for someone. I want to be pragmatically loved, not lustfully loved. Pragmatic love often grows stronger over time, whereas lustful love tends to fade with time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:23 PM
3

My parents aren't divorced, but they should have a long time ago. For a long time my parents made the same low income, so my mom never saw it as economically viable to get a divorce so she never filed for one. Now they are both just old and my mom doesn't see a point in a divorce since my dad will likely die soon from alcoholism. I couldn't ever imagine me being married when I was growing up, or having kids. I finally can now, but I'm nearly 40 so we'll see if it ever happens. I've never thought…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:17 PM
2

Men have no motivation to do this. This won't increase happiness. This just makes me stay at work longer because I don't want to be at home with someone I only value for looks and being tolerable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:06 PM
11

If I followed this male filtering system, I'd spend all my time at work to avoid being home. I guess that would make society better, but I'd be miserable. A decrease in population is ok. We can't grow the population forever, and many scientists would argue that the population is already twice as much as is ideal for high quality life for most of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:00 PM
3

I work with 30 men in IT and every single one of them is married or their girlfriend lives with them. Even the men that were divorced have already remarried. The only exception is me, and I am now dating again after giving myself a couple years to recover from the end of a 12 year relationship. Not a single one of the 30 men in the office would be described as athletic, only one is a gym rat with biceps, and at least 30% of them would be considered obese. Less than half are college educated and …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:00 AM
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I know for myself I can't be 100% of a person's life. I just don't have that kind of energy to be someone's sole source for companionship, entertainment, and support. It feels unhealthy to have someone's life revolve around me. I need someone who has friends and hobbies outside of me. Also it makes being with someone much more interesting when they can share stories about their activities with me since I wasn't there for all of them. I imagine there are a lot of people like me who find people wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:34 AM
4

Men need to do better if they want to be with women not because women are better as a partner, but because women are better at being happy when single. If women are happy being single, why jeopardize it by being with a man with undesirable traits? Also men generally value sex more than women, though there are plenty of exceptions. This causes men to put up with a lot of undesirable behaviors for easier access to sex. Since I am happy being single, my standards for women are much higher. While I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:08 PM
4

Gen Z isn't old enough to understand age gaps. An age gap of 10 years is a lot to someone that is Gen Z since they were a minor 10 years ago. For someone who is 45, a 10 year age gap is only 37% of their adulthood instead of 100% of it. The simple formula for adults and dating ages is: Age/2 + 7. For Kim, that is 45/2 + 7 = 29. Pete was 32, so that was completely reasonable. The Charlie Theron situation is different since that isn't dating, that was a one night stand. No one would care if Bill B…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:29 PM
3

I believe there is really just positive humanity, and all positive masculinity and positive femininity discussions are things to correct toxic masculinity and toxic femininity, or they are toxic masculinity and toxic femininity tweaked to be less harmful. Since men are generally seen as superior, women being more like a man is received as positive. Men being more like women is seen as negative. That seems to be the bias that society has. The reality is likely that both genders need to abolish ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:17 PM
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Then it is unhinged to expect women to be attracted to someone different than the men they are already attracted to. Either we are in control of who we want to be with, or we aren't. To say women are in control of which men they are attracted to, and then to say men aren't in control of which men they are attracted to is just a bunch of hypocrisy. Make it make sense. Also, do we have to be in relationships with people we are attracted to? Why can't we just be in relationships with people we like…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:47 PM
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Women are irrelevant to men dating outcomes. Men could just date other men if they wanted to. Yet they don't and choose to blame women for not wanting to date them. Seems hypocritical to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 08:55 PM
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I have definitely felt loneliness before, but it is a different kind than you describe. There was a time when no one would ever ask me if I am ok, and that made me feel lonely. I have never been sexually attracted to women (or men), so either I am immune to the loneliness you describe, or it is incurable if I ever develop it. This hasn't stopped me from having sex with women or men, but to me it is just more of a somewhat fun activity to kill time than whatever majestic thing that cures "male lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 11:28 PM
13

I mean that is all I ever want as a guy so that makes sense. I don't want to be told what I can wear, but when I put together a nice ensemble, I do appreciate a compliment, or even just an acknowledgement. This reminds me of when my barber said "You seem to like to color coordinate" and that made me feel great since he noticed the effort. He didn't say he liked the color coordination, and his word choice and his own style makes me think he dislikes it, but he noticed the effort and let me know a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 09:39 PM
2

Correct. There are plenty of passenger princesses that I couldn't have the slightest interest in dating. But at least they are honest about it. The women aren't better, they are just more honest. I wouldn't say women are transparent though. Many seem to want me to guess what they are thinking and feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:39 PM
2

My ex had BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which often led to being self-destructive, and for someone with BPD, one of the best ways to be self-destructive is to hurt those that love you. Additionally to cope with the chronic pain that came with a genetic medical condition, drug addiction eventually became an issue and ultimately led to the end of my ex's life. As for physical scars, I have one on my back from when I was stabbed. Everything else was just significant bruising other than whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:36 PM
5

Kind of hard to tell if the guy is lying until you get to know him a bit better which usually requires at least one date which still means women are spending a lot of time dating guys who are lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:22 PM
6

These men are on dates. Of course the men who aren't dating or are in long term stable relationships aren't seeking sex. And not all men on dates are seeking sex. As someone who is asexual, I would be an example of a man who goes on dates and doesn't seek sex. But I'd say a large percentage of men on dates are seeking sex as a higher priority than a long term relationship, at least early in the dating process.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:20 PM
9

That just means it is a great time to be over 30 as a male. It isn't like the women are all lesbians, or the men have multiple relationships with women. Obviously that means there are plenty of women under 30 who are dating men who are 30+. Menin their 30s are often more desirable to women since they have figured out their career, developed emotional maturity, value emotional connection over physical connection, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:06 PM
3

As someone who was in a 12 year relationship and still has the physical and emotional scars from it, I'd say healthy is important. I'd sooner have short healthy relationships than another long lasting unhealthy relationship. I grew a lot during that relationship, but I certainly don't need to do that again.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:00 PM
26

I do agree that most men are seeking sex first, but aren't starting the first date with the intention to pump and dump. Many are just seeking sex and once they get it, then they start thinking if this person is worth a long term relationship. The problem with that is that many men who are dating are very dishonest in order to get the sex they want. This dishonesty is detrimental to forming a long term relationship, but men don't care because they aren't prioritizing a relationship in the beginni…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:53 PM
2

So we are all rapey predators? I realize I am one of the few exceptions since I lack sexual attraction and I find the activity to be highly overrated despite trying it in nearly every configuration possible. A high quality tuna melt consistently provides more pleasure than sex. Sex is better than an average tuna melt though, since an average tuna melt has a one-dimensional flavor. Not factoring in weirdos like myself, I would say about a third of the men I know are predatory. Not saying the othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:47 PM
27

Men struggle with finding dates with women, but when they do, they often find women who are seeking something long term and are trying to measure compatibility. Women can easily find dates, but when they do, they often find men who are seeking sex instead of a long term relationship and the men are willing to say anything to get the sex that they want. It is debatable which is worse, but they are both far from ideal dating conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:31 PM
4

Men are socialized to have hierarchy. The men at the bottom of the hierarchy are constantly reminded that men aren't a monolith since they aren't as "manly" as the men at the top. To say men are a monolith is to completely ignore this hierarchy in men. There are so many different male stereotypes. Chads, white knights, simps, alphas, sigmas, gammas, omegas, nerds, jocks, geeks, alts, red pills, blue pills, etc. If men were a monolith, why would there be so many vastly different stereotypes?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:23 PM
14

When you say "So that's on you really" in regards to men being rapey, it is out of line with a civil conversation. I realize you almost certainly meant that as "So that's on men really" which would have been more civil that saying you, but even then it is the classic men as a monolith and the idea that all men are predatory rapey people, and by extension that means all the men in this sub are predatory rapey people. A more civil response would have been "Many men behave predatory. They are pushy…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:43 PM
3

Lol, I can see that. I’d say it is a bit different since the idea isn’t to look traditionally looksmaxxed. It is about looking like you put some level of effort and intention in your look, regardless if the look is popular among women. This is different from focusing on physical attributes like jaw lines and fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:46 AM
3

Besides Reddit and short form video content, where do you hear a lot of narratives about women? (Friends, coworkers, church...) - Friends, coworkers, family. What was the last movie/book you saw with a female protagonist? What kind of narrative was it? - Apothecary Diaries is an anime takes place in a world similar to imperial China about a young asexual woman who enjoys working as an apothecary and has to navigate through a life where women are objectified and people are conspiring to take over…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:48 PM
9

We should all seek to be at a healthy weight. But healthy weight does not mean we all need to look ripped, or even athletic. Blue pillers don't think we should be obese either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:34 PM
4

Blue pill deemphasizes genetic looks. It emphasizes appearance through how one dresses and their hair style and hygiene. For post college dating, how a guy dresses is more important than their physique as long as he looks healthy. If a guy dresses with no sense of style, then it suggests he may not have his life together. If a guy dresses with a sense of style, that suggests he may have a better understanding of himself and suggests confidence and success. The style doesn't matter either. It cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:23 PM
7

I don't think any of that is blue pill. Ignoring past is stupid. Being rigid on it is also stupid. Past behavior can be indicative of future behavior, but it can also be a catalyst for future growth. We just have to use best judgement. Giving big romantic gestures only makes sense if that is who a guy is. Also if a guy has low masculine energy, that is fine, but suppressing it is inauthentic. As far as timing, that should be communicated. I've been with people who can dictate pace, and for some …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:04 PM
4

Blue pill advice is to improve yourself and be authentic. Bending over backwards for a woman comes off as desperate and inauthentic which fails to meet red pill or blue pill methodology. I feel like everyone should improve themselves, and it is better to be authentic and find the right person than be inauthentic and win over the wrong person. If I have to live a lie to attract someone, I'd rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:38 PM
7

I actually agree with a decent chunk of what you said. People need to give direct feedback instead of being sheepish about their desires. I actually do like cuddles and if I had to choose between cuddles every other day and sex once a month, or sex every other day and cuddles once a month, I would choose to have more cuddles. The part I disagree with is the idea to cheat on someone if they don't want to fuck your brains out. Just have an adult conversation on it, and if that is a dealbreaker, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 08:16 PM
3

There are plenty of guys that coerce women into sex and the women are worried if they don't have sex than the guy will leave them. Women should just leave guys like that, but many don't, especially when they are younger and lack wisdom to understand that guys like this are bad news for them. Also not all sex is equal. Some sex only feels good for the guy and not so much for the girl. Sometimes it works the other way and the woman enjoys it but puts no effort to help the guy enjoy sex. I do agree…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:19 PM
0

We do live in a country that has the burden of proof on the one making the claim. When a crime is suspected, the claim isn’t innocence. The claim is that the defendant is guilty and the burden of proof is on the prosecution. Thus when a trial ends, defendants are found guilty or not guilty. They are never found to be innocent. Inadequate proof always favors the defendant, as it should.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:35 PM
2

We do the same thing for women. Attractive women are also treated better and get more chances, more forgiveness, more interest, and more room for error. That is just a rule for attractive people in general. The halo effect applies to everyone. Also when women are assertive in the workplace, we say they are a bitch, but when men do it, they are leaders. Additionally, I don't ever see women complain about this. What women complain about is when men think that women only desire to be with chads and…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:44 AM
1

In regard to being desirable to date, I undoubtedly am at my peak right now and I am 35+. There is a better chance I could be with a 22yr old woman right now than I could have at any point my life. Not saying that chance is high, but I am saying it is higher than it ever was when I was in my 20s. Not that I am not seeking any women in their 20s. I don't know if men peak at that age, but for myself I just blame it on my autism making me develop a little bit slower than everyone else socially. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:37 AM
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Do you need a normal romantic life? I have always done abnormal romance and it has been quite enjoyable. I date exclusively neurodivergent people and while my relationships have never looked traditionally romantic, they were still very enjoyable with cuddles and intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:05 PM
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Find some high calorie food you like and eat lots of protein as well. If you don't, you'll never put on weight. I have a friend who was scrawny despite working out and he drank a half gallon of milk every day for a year and he put on 30 pounds and really filled out. If you are lactose intolerant like I am you'll need to find some other source of calories, but it is definitely possible to bulk up. Another friend of mine ended up on Olanzapine to treat OCD, and it ended up changing his appetite an…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:02 PM
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It is more about weight not height. I am the same height and 80lbs heavier and I can get some of attention. The ideal weight at that height is closer to 130 to 160 depending on how much muscle. Now I will say, that height/weight combination is perfect to attract a good number of men if OP was open to that alternative. But in my experience women generally aren't attracted to super skinny men unless they are asian. If asian, then it is very polarizing with women either highly desiring asian men, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:53 PM
1

I want someone who has enough hobbies and friends that I am not their sole source of entertainment and socialization. I want someone who can have deep conversations, is open minded, and is willing to discuss uncomfortable topics. I am looking for someone who has a positive perspective on life despite recognizing all the negative things the world has. Someone who is willing to debate their political views, someone who isn't very religious, is open to having children, and has a non-hostile demeano…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:36 PM
12

I have the opposite experience. I was dating a girl who was trying to overcompensate for gender inequality and ended up paying for the majority of meals, drinks, and a theatre performance. It was so bad that I had to send her money because I felt bad since I made significantly more money. Every person I've dated has always been fairly self-conscious of paying at least their half of expenses despite me making more than every person I've ever dated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:37 PM
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The disrespect for Beomgyu. He looks vastly different from either. The point is that no one seems to seek short fat men, but there are men who will chase after short fat women to the ends of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:18 PM
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You misunderstand. He is saying that men as whole have a wider range. Each guy has very specific preferences. I prefer women to have smaller breasts and I prefer a rectangle figure. Hourglass figures make me uncomfortable, and large breasts are a turn off. While my preference range is somewhat narrow, other men prefer quite the opposite and collectively we have a wide range. Meanwhile OP is saying that women collectively don't have as wide a range. I do think there is some variety, as the exampl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:14 PM
2

Yeah, that is how I know I am asexual despite liking sex. I just can't relate at all to the chemistry that seems to happen for others. I've seen so many people throw away their marriages and careers for sex, and I can't even understand the temptation for it. I never see someone and get this feeling I want to have sex with them. It seems like my biology is just different from most people. Whenever I've been in relationships I've always kept them open since I don't understand why I'd ever care abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:08 AM
1

My insurance in the US let me use a website to pick a therapist from and they all had profile descriptions. I found one that mentioned specializing in high functioning clients who appear to have everything figured out, but are actually falling apart internally. That seems appropriate for me since I have a good salary, good friends, and a bunch of good stuff, but I struggle to accomplish some of the most basic things. They have done excellent for me. I couldn't imagine being assigned a random the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:29 PM
1

Ideally you would pay them to be accommodating, but also to provide critical feedback. But yes, I think it is better to just find people to discuss that kind of stuff with. If anything, I think the escort would be more helpful in the bedroom to get over anxiety issues and get some sensory exposure in a safer environment that is low pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:10 PM
7

Maybe my experience with therapists are different, but in my experience and in other men I know, our therapists help us find our goals, like socializing more and coming up with stuff for it. My therapist noticed I never ask people to do stuff and I am always just a ride along to other people's adventures. They suggested I invite people to go do something, and I started with lunch on the weekend, and eventually a concert which was a big leap from how I was previously. They help me prioritize my l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:55 PM
6

I've been going to therapy for over a year. It has been great. My therapist helps me figure out what my goals are, how to convert them into actionable steps, and continues pressing me on them until I make progress or I change my goals. I don't need a therapist to sort out my childhood trauma. I have that stuff and I am happy to talk about it, but that doesn't really fix that much. It is more about recognizing my tendencies and my shortcoming and being more focused on making progress in key areas…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:49 PM
2

Quite the opposite. I can figure out who I am incompatible with more quickly. Someone who won't consider me because of that is likely too rigid and lacks the open-mindedness required for me to have a satisfying relationship with them. More women are far more turned off by me being bi rather than me trying out a service anyway. And while I am easily straight passing, is just suffocating to live that way. Not to mention there are ethical concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 06:06 PM
0

Because many autistic people believe in being very open and truthful in their relationships. Every person I have dated since I used a service has known that I have used services in the past. Seems natural to talk about sexual history with anyone I date. If that is a deal breaker I'd rather know in the first week than find out several months later.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:55 PM
3

I think you are underestimating how unnatural existing with autism is. I would fold like laundry to questions like "What is your favorite movie?" followed by "Well, if you don't have a favorite, what movie genres do you like?" It helps to practice answering questions like this since they are fairly common. Also it can help to get feedback on things like talking too much, not talking enough, interrupting, coming off rude or condescending, etc. I have rehearsed so many conversations in when I driv…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:51 PM
-1

To me sex is as romantic as a handshake. I don't understand how people tie the two things together. Intimacy requires trust, and trust can be earned over time, or bought through the use of a professional. Not much different than having a friend babysit vs using a daycare service. I don't think daycare services devalue being a parent unless they are overused. I think people make sex out to be more special than it is and many problems related to sex stem from that belief that it is special. The wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:41 PM
0

I give all that same advice as long as making money isn't at the expense of physical/mental health. I wouldn't consider myself RP at all. Additional advice would be, don't treat women like objects, never stop improving in all aspects, and live an enjoyable life. If someone is miserable single, there is no reason to think they would suddenly stop being miserable when they are in a relationship. It would distract them for a short time, but the misery would return since the root cause was never res…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:07 PM
0

Why don't young men focus on how to make money and then pay for it? It isn't that expensive. If it is illegal and they want to stay legal, they can pay for flights to other countries and engage in activities there. The problem is most blue pill people value relationships more than casual sex so they don't market towards that. Also BP gives plenty of advice, it is just more related to self-help in general since a big part of BP is to improve yourself and then the relationships will follow. Just l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:00 PM
-2

We can choose who we date and who we have sex with regardless of sexual attraction. Most people simply aren't open minded enough to entertain anything different than what comes natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:40 PM
–

Finding out I had ADHD as an adult was a big help in me understanding my weaknesses and compensating for them or just avoiding them when possible. I just worry if it was discovered as a kid I would have been segregated from my classmates since that is what seemed to happen with adhd kids when I was in school. It helps finding someone who understands us. My ex understood my condition pretty well and had OCD which seemed to complement my ADHD.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:05 PM
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Being strict and giving no quarter is bad, but so is coddling. I am thankful I grew up undiagnosed for autism and ADHD. It wasn't the easiest time going through school, but I learned a lot of social skills and how to avoid uncomfortable situations. I needed to be held accountable, not coddled. Not beaten, but not allowed to roam free of consequence either. I think an ADHD diagnosis is more beneficial for children now since we are understand that condition better than we did when I was a kid, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 08:39 PM
0

There are obviously some people who aren't fit for pretty much anyone, but generally for the vast majority, if they improve themselves to nearly their best version of themself, they could be compatible with someone out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:03 PM
1

As a shorter guy, I feel like my personality and social skills really do matter. If I was 6'3", then I could just be whomever and find a decent number of women. Not that I would be satisfied since I have a personality that requires an interesting person rather than finding women who would want to be with me. Try being a bi man and looking for women. That is when personality and social skills don't matter to 90% of women. That being said, the goal shouldn't be to appeal to many others. It is simp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:36 PM
2

It sounds like your profile is bad, or your unique opening messages are terrible. Or you are liking people that simply don't like you. If I send a unique message to 1000 tall models, I doubt I would get a single response. I am short and overweight, and I don't have anything in common with models. If I send 3 unique messages to women who like nerdy hobbies or pickleball, I am very likely to get a response from one of them, but that is because I send high quality opening messages that are 4 to 6 s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:35 AM
2

I am less likely to find a compatible person in a wider pool if I spend too much time reviewing each one. I'd rather narrow the pool down to people with a high probability of being compatible, before sending a message. I can look at the profiles and get a decent idea on compatibility. I can also send a unique message that will appeal to people I am compatible with, but will be repulsive towards many people I am not compatible with. It is like reviewing job applicants. We don't have time to inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:22 AM
3

Sending out a unique message is how I ended up with my first girlfriend from a dating app. It makes plenty of sense to me. But I don't like 100 profiles either. I am lucky if I can find two interesting profiles per 100. So I tend to just put a lot of effort into the one or two profiles I find that are interesting and see how that goes. My advice is to treat it like finding a job. Instead of applying to every job that has a salary that is acceptable, it is better to apply to jobs where we are uni…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:09 AM
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I tend to like the middle of the road. I prefer someone more middling rather than submissive or dominant. I prefer women to be more masculine and blunt. For men, I prefer if they are more feminine and soft. I find the genders are too polarized on average and I prefer someone more centered. Also I don’t like when they are too sex-focused. That is a huge ick for me. I don’t mind partaking in the activity, but it simply isn’t important to me. That rules out most men. Most women are ruled out becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 09:39 PM
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I am very much the opposite. If I just wanted my dick wet, I'd go be with a guy. There are countless guys out there that would happily do that for me. Since I have more access to getting my dick wet than I could ever want, I am much more focused on personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:15 PM
9

I wouldn't care if they wanted to wear a ring or not. I couldn't care less if they wanted to take my last name. In fact if they had a last name I really liked, I'd consider switching to their last name, or we could make a new one. I think I reject most marriage traditions. I do like the idea of a wedding, though I think it is fine to have some creative liberties with it. The goofiest one is that as a guy, I want to be proposed to, not the other way around. We'll see if I have any luck with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 07:27 PM
-2

Authenticity and Respect: Being a gentleman, kind, and reliable, believing that genuine character will be recognized and rewarded. Chasing and Romanticism: Adopting traditional courtship roles, including pursuing a partner and investing effort in building trust. Individual Growth: Focusing on self-improvement (health, education, career) for personal fulfillment rather than merely to attract partners. Relationship Focus: Seeking deep connections based on compatibility, shared values, and mutual e…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 07:15 PM
17

If I could choose between a perfect sexless relationship, or perfect sex life with FWB/subpar relationship, I would choose the perfect sexless relationship every time. Sex is super overrated. It can be a plenty fun activity, but it isn't some kind of primal need like other men make it out to be. I question if it is all in their head as some kind of ego thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:48 AM
6

I just do what I want to do, and if that works for whomever I am with then great. If not then we move on. I don't need to know if a woman likes flowers on the first date. I don't like bringing flowers to a first date or ever, so if the other person finds that off-putting, she can find someone else. The last thing I want to do on a date is try to behave outside my norm. I don't want to set expectations that future me won't want to meet. I am never going to open the car door for women. I like to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:43 AM
1

A lack of trust in others is just a lack of self-trust on evaluating others, establishing boundaries, and protecting oneself from crossed boundaries. I am unsure if I trust others at all, despite people often saying I am too trusting of people. If given enough information, I trust my judgment of others and how I will think they will handle different scenarios. I seem to be accurate with it, so I haven't seen any reason to change my view. Some people I can trust to be honest, others I "trust" wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 07:58 PM
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There are roughly an equal number of available men and women. I don't see why the men's standards have to be lower. Also standards aren't something to be objectively higher or lower. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and some guys want feminist women, and others want traditional women. If we take one of the most female defining characteristics such as breasts, men have all sorts of different preferences on size. I prefer them on the smaller size, but I know plenty of men that prefer larger s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:07 PM
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Outliers aren't just Stacy and Chad. I turn away women who show interest in me, because I am bi and I know they won't go for that. I could obviously lie about that, but that isn't a healthy relationship. Finding a woman who is ok with a guy that is bi requires me to find an outlier, since most woman aren't willing to be with bi men. One could say I could just be with men, but I am also asexual, and while I can enjoy occasional sex, I don't have the libido to match most gay men. Thus that gives m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:24 PM
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Red pillers and bi men are truly an unholy alliance. As a bi man, I vehemently disagree with much of the red pill perspective. I often stand against them in defense of women. That being said, I have to admit watching red pillers come to my aid against biphobic women is never a sight for sore eyes, even if I know the red pillers only do so as a method to bash women for their hypocrisy. It is my guilty pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:30 PM
10

I sought out more education, I made more friends of both genders, I go to therapy, and I let everyone know I go to therapy to help normalize therapy for men. I talk about my challenges I've had in life very early in the dating process and I practice radical honestly instead of stoicism since how else can people know what men are feeling if we don't share our feelings? These are the things I am doing about it so far. I am always open to new ideas on how I can better improve the situation for men,…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:43 PM
4

Hardly a chad, I’m short and overweight. I am just a lot more targeted with who I ask out. I feel like many guys just pursue far too many women instead of seeking very specific women that would like them. I just find people who I suspect would find me desirable that I also find desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:49 AM
2

Yep, now you are getting it. We just out ourselves for all this stuff and someone who doesn't run for the hills might be the right person. The key is to shrink my dating pool first by limiting myself to people who I think would be ok with all the things you listed. This means looking for very open-minded people. This approach isn't how I went about my first dating attempts. But what I realized is that it is such a pain to deal with when to bring up potential dealbreakers, such as me being bi. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:07 AM
1

I hear you there. I know a few bi women who won't date bi men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:31 PM
9

I've been on three first dates in the last 6 months, and I didn't plan any of them. The rejection rate has been quite low, but I am very particular on who I ask out. Also I find that women need to keep me interested more than the other way around. I find a lot of women boring which is why I am so particular on my filtering now. As far as I can tell it seems better to be a man when dating than a woman. I do agree it is far easier for women to find dates, but that doesn't mean the process is more …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:26 PM
4

I only do online dating, and I come in like a wrecking ball trying my best to sabotage the likelihood of a first date by being authentically myself and putting all my dirty laundry out early. Past relationships, kids, pets, money, drugs, politics, religion... these things are all discussed before a first date. The goal of dating to me is to form a long-term healthy relationship and testing the waters with these things early makes more sense to me to filter out potential future issues. If the goa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:16 PM
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I would think the other subs would be an echo chamber. Here I get to see people argue stuff from vastly different perspectives. Also women support some of my opinions. And when they don't, they do a good job of articulating what I am not seeing when I form my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:45 PM
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I feel a bit clueless since I can't even understand what these standards are without a specific example. My standard is someone who isn't controlling, is comfortable with me having friends of both genders, can keep up with me in conversation, will call me out for my mistakes, will acknowledge their own mistakes, has a job or at least keeps themselves busy, is at least somewhat hygienic, and is open-minded. I don't really understand what my standards have to do with me being desirable to all peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:07 AM
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It hardly makes me better. It makes me incompatible with most people when trying to form a romantic partnership. That still doesn't change the fact that I would still find it embarrassing to have someone's genitalia have power over me. Sex can be good, but it isn't ever that good to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 08:49 PM
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Every time if I have a bit of doubt if I am asexual, someone like you comes along to remind me I am indeed asexual. I cannot imagine anyone's genitalia having power over me. I would find that embarrassing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:59 PM
11

I still can’t figure out what is masculine about not doing basic chores. Seems more child-like than masculine to me to not take care of the house.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 06:12 PM
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Even in Cali I find women who are bi and won’t date bi guys. The discrimination against bi men is really strong, and they all just call it preference. Saves me time since anyone who won’t date bi guys are more closed-minded than I would like to date, but it is tiresome that people just call it a preference instead of biphobia.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:38 AM
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Are there bi men who aren't doing this? I'm already at this point. It is why I rarely date women. I also don't like to date gay men though since I can't handle how sexual they are. I try to find people who are ace or bi since they seem most accepting of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:27 PM
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Pickleball is a much younger sport than you realize. I feel like I am older than the average player these days. The women I like spend a lot of time at home watching tv and going out to eat with friends. They probably like cooking or reading a book. I suspect they spend a lot of time posting on reddit in silly subreddits like this one. There is no good in-person method for me to meet these women. I like video games, anime, and board games, but in my experience, women who like these things often …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:23 PM
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Pickleball is 41% women. I have as many female friends as male friends. I drink at bars more frequently with women than men, and usually at least one in the group is single. I often play poker with women, and sometimes they ask me out, but I am not interested. It is just too small of a pool of people compared to a dating app. I am sure I have had a wonderful potential partner in the same restaurant as me, but they are dining with their friends or family, and I am dining with my friends, so there…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:07 PM
-1

I'm mixed race with a far from handsome face and I am short and autistic. I just take care of my appearance a bit. Most people with dating issues aren't caused by bad genetics, it is a lack of confidence and effort. My genetics are awful, but I don't let that stop me. Glow up and get good. Do some research on how to look better. Make friends and get advice. Go see a hair stylist. Get a good career. Date women who can't get chads. There are all sorts of ways to compensate for garbage genetics. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 01:08 AM
5

The problem with dating apps is guys will swipe right on 70% of women. Like they don't even read the profiles and they don't even attempt to seek a long term relationship. If guys would take the process more seriously and swipe on only a few women where compatibility seems likely, it would be a much better experience for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 01:02 AM
-1

Stop looking chopped? Look like you smell good, actually smell good, style the hair a bit, and dress to show some level of effort whether it is a classic, modern, or alt look. Anyone who does that can be good enough to pass the looks filter for a decent number of women. At that point it is just about having a compatible personality. Also for dating apps, just let female friends take the photos and help build the profile. If you don't have female friends that will do that, then first make female …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:55 AM
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This isn't a monogamy issue. It is about how possessive people are in their relationships. Mind you I personally think monogamy is overrated, but I can be monogamous if that is the agreement with a partner and I am not already with another partner. The possessive jealously angle has never made sense to me. If someone wants to cheat in a relationship, no one could ever stop them. So why be so possessive? People should just trust their partner to not cheat, and if they cheat then just move on and …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:14 PM
1

That is my approach. I basically try to sabotage any hopes of a relationship within the first week by covering all the serious topics, telling embarrassing stories, addressing my past relationships, and discussing the worst things about myself. By doing this I can repel people who aren't compatible with me, and many people who aren't immediately repulsed will often over share as well, which lets me see if I am ok with who they are. If a person is still interested after that, then we take some ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:44 PM
1

Your advice works for some people, but it doesn't make any sense for me. I don't get the value in touching grass in relation to dating. I am almost never home, as I have plenty of hobbies like pickleball, outdoor walks, poker, hanging out with friends, going out to eat, etc. Pickleball lets me meet people and I have went to lunch with one person once that I met through pickleball. But that is a small group of people. Statistically it is unreasonable that I will ever play pickleball with someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:57 PM
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Why wouldn't I? Although I am a bit of a weird one since I would get into a serious relationship with a girl if she had an active FWB situation. I never understood everyone's obsession about who is having sex with who.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:17 PM
5

Maybe I am doing the friends first thing a bit wrong. I find people I am potentially interested in. I express romantic intent and my interest in getting to know them better to see if we are compatible. If they are interested in exploring this, we spend time together and see if we are compatible as friends, and if so then we see if we are compatible as more than friends. I'm never hiding my intent, I just have no interest in being in a relationship with someone I wouldn't want to be friends with,…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:40 AM
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I got a few friends like that. We don't do any skinship, but we can talk about whatever, including really personal stuff and our own emotions and struggles. And we can call each other out when we see other person is going on a bad path. My closest bromance was many years ago, but it ended up too close, and eventually led to us hooking up and eventually being in a 12 year relationship. Somewhat odd considering neither of us thought of ourselves as anything but straight before that happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 09:50 PM
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Physical differences are obvious. Even hidden physical differences will inevitably be discovered. But let's go with religion. Religion changes someone's daily life. And it comes with beliefs on how to live life, how to reach salvation. If people have opposing religious beliefs, it is easy to see how that can cause conflict in a relationship. Me being bi wouldn't make a bit of difference in how we live our lives. The fact that people never know I am bi unless I announce it is a testament to how i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:05 PM
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But they are. People will be attracted to me without issue as long as I don't divulge that I am bi. That means they are attracted to bi people. It is just once they find out I am bi they get completely repulsed as if I told them I was pedophile or something. I make sure to out myself as soon as possible so I can minimize how often I see this transition from someone fondly looking at me to thinking I am a monster. With all the other examples like height and race, the people are never attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:26 PM
5

I agree on three points. The world isn't fair, not all women are good, and not all dating abroad is bad. As for the other points, I think there are people for everyone. Some might just need to improve themselves before they qualify, or they may need to expand their scope to find the person. I'm ND, but I worked on my social skills, and I talked to a therapist for a year before I started the dating process. It is people's fault if they don't do these things to try to improve themselves. Appearanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 07:09 PM
7

I think there is someone for everyone, if everyone is close to the best version of themselves. But if someone is putting no effort into their own life and their own self-improvement, there might not be anyone for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 06:58 PM
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It is neither of these reasons. People have the causation backwards. Men who are trending well in their careers feel more prepared to get married. Even if their income isn't as high before they get married, they know their career path is heading the right way. I am sure there is also some correlation between having a good career and forming relationships that lead to marriage. Married guys aren't working harder, nor are they preferred by management. I have worked in many offices, and the unmarri…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 06:56 PM
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The issue is a lack of self-improvement, and not making a better effort to find compatibility. It is the same as finding a job. Anyone who applies to 50% of available jobs is just wasting the time of the people reviewing the applications. A few quality applications to jobs they are qualified for has much greater success. Guys need to learn to use less volume and more quality. Look for a profile where there is a good personality fit, and put good effort into the message to show off your personali…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:44 PM
1

Any physical contact that hasn't been done before is a boundary. Even for a first hug I'll ask. Also, I'll debrief at a later time about any physical contact to check in on the other person's feelings on it. Just because I got the green light for a first kiss doesn't mean they always want one. I'll ask to find out how they felt about it, since maybe they didn't like how I kissed, or maybe they don't like it in certain contexts, like right after a meal, or maybe they don't ever want to do that ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:19 PM
2

If it is coffee, I pay for a first date since it is a trivial amount to pretty much everyone. I don't like to pay for the first date if it more than coffee since I don't want the other person to feel any kind of pressure or think I have some kind of expectation. The exception to this would be if I've known the other person for a long time prior to a first date. At that point they already know who I am and I just cover the meal since I don't have to worry about them thinking I have some kind of e…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:27 PM
4

Men do need to listen more; however, listening isn’t as powerful as a proper conversation or hearing day to day challenges. Those things come with friendship. Understanding people of other races, genders, or orientations is made much easier by interacting with more people of these different groups. I would have to give up half my friends if I took your approach. I don’t think that would improve my life or my friends’ lives. Also though I know how to talk to women without them thinking I am tryin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:27 AM
2

I’ve spent more on covering to meals of male friends than I have on women. My female friends like to make sure they keep things even, and my dates always want to split the bill. Math seems wrong to me
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:39 AM
8

But also, men can more easily obtain jobs in low-education fields like construction, so they are less likely to be unemployed and starve. This is a stupid point. Even when I was unemployed I could figure out how to eat. And when I did get a job, I couldn't afford rent or gas, so I slept in my car most nights. Only reason I had a suit for my job interview is my ex bought one for me. Anyone who has the skills to profit off content creation also has the skills to make money in many different job fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:36 AM
6

And women can't make $50mil a year playing basketball. What is your point? Also there are men who do webcam content as well on those sites. So they can also make one dollar.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:27 AM
2

Natural looks aren't everything, but guys look far more attractive when they put some effort into their appearance. Even if a guy's face is far from handsome, the fact he put some effort in to style his hair, choose decent clothing, and have good hygiene goes a long way. Bonus points if a doctor would call him in good physical shape. If he can walk with confidence while meeting these basic requirements, then he can at least get far enough to show off his personality to a good portion of women. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:17 AM
68

If women have an easier life than men, it isn't because of anything in your post. Men sell their bodies all the time for work. It is called a job, like construction. It is easier for men to get hired in plenty of jobs where they put their bodies on the line. And they make more money for it. Male athlete's make far more money than female athlete's for putting their body on the line. It is easier for women to just work a normal job than do any of the stuff you listed. This is seen by most women ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:03 AM
8

Interacting with people different than ourselves is what builds empathy and understanding. It is how we combat discrimination of all kinds. The problem with men is they don't make enough female friends. People can also get uncomfortable talking to people of another race, but that doesn't mean we should try to eliminate interracial conversations. That would just amplify the issue. That being said, cold approaching people with romantic intent can work, but it is so infrequent that we should probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 11:43 PM
1

Is the goal to get laid for have a lifelong partner? If I want to get laid, I can just find someone willing, or I can just pay for it. Even if someone is immoral enough to lie in the dating process, is just setting up for an unsatisfying relationship. It is much better for people to be unapologetically honest in the dating process and find someone who suits them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:29 PM
2

Mind you, I didn't go out with either of them. Their breasts were far too large for my preference if I was just looking for sex. And neither felt like they would be a satisfying life partner. I am still friends with one of them though. I've initiated every relationship I've been in. I've sent the first message for everyone I've ever dated except one person. I still play by the typical men rules that I wish would go away. Unfortunately society perpetuates toxic masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:23 PM
1

I'd say dating as a bi guy is more difficult than a straight guy since the vast majority of women won't be with someone who is bi, and many gay guys are only willing to be with a bi guy for the sex, but not a long term relationship because they are worried he'll leave them for a woman to live a more "normal" life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:16 PM
1

I am most certainly not insanely attractive. I am smart, funny, and kind and it seems like some women are into that. Mind you, I've only had two women approach me in the last 4 years, so it isn't like it happens often. One was at work, and the other was at a poker table. One happened when my appearance was a 2 out of 10, and the other when I was a 5 out of 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:02 PM
2

Men attack men because men escalate situations to look more masculine and tough. As someone that looks non-threatening and avoids attacking male egos, I never get in fights as an adult. It is incredibly easy to avoid male vs male violence. But women have to avoid the situations I can walk through safely otherwise they are an easy target for sexual assault. As a man, I’d only get in a fight for starting something. Like if I had a girlfriend cheat on me and I decided to confront the guy about it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:38 PM
2

Women moving up primarily because of their "reproductive power" is a weakness, not a strength. To do that, it usually comes with submitting to some guy who makes a bunch of money and wants control over his woman. That seems like a sad life to me, but I realize some women like that life. As a man, I can move up into a higher social class by simply getting a better career and making more money. Having done this, it seems far more enjoyable than the alternative of being at the mercy of a man to tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 08:04 PM
4

Meanwhile as a guy, I can walk around by myself late at night with little worry. I can leave my drink unattended at a bar with no fear of being roofied. And now that I am an adult, my risk of being sexually assaulted is ten times less likely than a woman. I just feel much safer in society as a man compared to a woman. I prefer that one advantage over all the advantages OP mentioned for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:49 PM
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I agree that consent can't be bought since consent can always be taken away. The seller can always take away consent if they are uncomfortable with the buyer's words or actions. This presumes the seller is working of their own free will. Sex trafficking is horrible, and I would be disappointed in anyone who supports that world.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:28 PM
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What if a guy only paid for the first time, just to get the stigma of being a virgin out of the way. How bad would that be? From what I have seen in articles, it can do wonders for giving a guy confidence who feels like an outcast due to not having any experience in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:12 PM
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A virgin man could adopt a religion and use that as a justification and find a wife of the same religion. Not an approach I would use, but it could work. Alternatively, a person could just hire a sex worker and get the activity out of the way if they went that far along without trying it and it seems to be negatively impacting their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:09 PM
3

I think if you rebranded the fight against toxic masculinity instead of patriarchy, you would have much more success. Patriarchy refers to a society where men govern and women are mostly excluded. I'd say at this point we are past that given everyone can vote, and there are plenty of women in government and leadership positions. Not in every country, but in plenty of them, including countries that are historically very patriarchal, like Japan. The issue is toxic masculinity: Men must remain stoi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:18 PM
6

I only seem to date autistic people and it comes up every time during dating. It never seems to come up among my friends though. As far as I can tell I haven’t found anyone who cares about the number
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:50 PM
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This would be unethical non-monogamy. Which is often referred to as cheating. To be ethical, it requires agreement of both parties. If I play a game of Monopoly, and I tell my opponent I will be taking at extra $500 out of the bank every once in a while and I do so, this would be considered cheating. Just because I inform the other person, as long as they aren't agreeing with this altering of the rule then it is cheating. As for your relationship, you entered as a monogamous relationship, and yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 11:15 PM
5

I'm 37, and the only person who has hit me since I became an adult was my ex. These conflicts almost never happen unless you are a person who causes them. It isn't hard to deescalate a situation. To prevent road rage, I never honk my horn at someone. If someone honks their horn at me, I don't slam my brakes. It really isn't that difficult to avoid conflict. Also if I had a girlfriend who is running her mouth, she can deal with the consequences of that herself. I would never expect my partner to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 10:57 PM
1

To be so young and foolish. I’m 37, autistic and single. I still intend to find a relationship and possibly have a family. Last year was the first time I ever asked a girl out in my life. We were together for a couple months but it didn’t work out. I’m not going to sulk about it. I’ll just be more particular next time and choose someone with higher compatibility. Go pay for a sex worker somewhere to rid yourself of your insecurities. Once you fix that, then you can start rebuilding yourself and …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 07:07 AM
0

I've know a few guys who got their first girlfriend after turning 30 so it is far from impossible. Trying to find a relationship isn't much different than applying to jobs. Over 99% of job openings in the world would not consider me, and the ones that do would likely turn me down after an interview. But for the right job where I am well qualified and a good culture fit, I can have a decent chance of getting the job if I am prepared for the interview and exude confidence. It is critical to apply …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:37 AM
3

Having someone submit to me in the bedroom as a part of some role play could be fun. I am equal opportunity, so I would be fine switching roles sometimes to keep it fair. Outside of that, never. I want someone who holds me accountable. Someone I can also hold accountable. If we are submitting to each other then we aren't doing that. I also don't think one off big decisions need to have them submit to me. It is all negotiable on what makes the most sense for us as a team.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:30 PM
9

I would actually prefer to be proposed to. I don’t get why it is always the women who get proposed to. I don’t know if I would want flowers, I’ve never gotten them. Thoughtful treats are always a lovely gift. Being asked out would be nice too instead of me always making the first move. But I find sex overrated so it is questionable if I qualify as a man. It seems like the other men really like sex so they take that instead of the romance. I don’t even mind paying for everything since I have a de…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:36 AM
0

I’m asexual so thankfully I don’t need women for sex. I find sex fun enough, but I couldn’t imagine it being a need or a craving. Seems miserable that many men have that issue. I suppose since my sex drive is lacking, that is why I am attracted to competent women instead of whatever it is that most men seem to like.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 06:05 AM
6

But most men can’t provide for their family on their own. Our world requires dual income for the majority of people. Unless it becomes the norm for two families to start sharing a home, both parents need to work and thus neither has the energy to be the primary caregiver for the home and children. Maybe AI gets rid of 40% of jobs and incomes increase to compensate for this. But otherwise the days of the trad wife are gone. A trad wife wouldn’t be my preference, but I do appreciate the idea of at…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:38 PM
23

As a man, I am disappointed that people like you represent my gender. I don't want submission... well maybe some submission in the bedroom for some fun roleplay, but outside the bedroom I want a partnership. An independent, strong, feminist that doesn't need me is super attractive. I don't need them, so why should they need me? I expect children to need me, but I don't expect a spouse to need me. I am looking for another co-captain to help steer the ship as we navigate through life together. I a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:05 AM
6

Sounds like men should quit tying their egos to the ability to attract a woman for sex. While I do appreciate putting a little effort in my appearance, I wouldn't let my ego rest on other people's desire to have sex with me. Seems unhealthy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:26 PM
1

Option 2. Just like how beer is an acquired taste for most people, there is no reason we can't find an acquired eye for a partner who is stable and provides good company. Also just like how I eat plenty of food I don't particularly like the taste of, I need to reason I wouldn't be able to have intimacy with someone I don't find attractive. Financial struggle causes stress which can impact a relationship. If it is a tight budget, but well managed then that wouldn't be too bad. Option C is the mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 03:28 PM
-1

I agree. It is easier online where I can have a profile that states it, but in person it is kind of difficult to have it known. I do make sure people know I am panromantic/sex-favorable asexual before I date anyone, but nearly anyone who isn’t the same simply isn’t ok with that. Being able to enjoy sex isn’t the same as having sexual attraction and people really seem to like when their partner is sexually attracted to them. My ex always wanted me to do things to get them into the mood for sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 03:32 PM
0

I agree. It is easier online where I can have a profile, but in person it is kind of difficult to have it known. I’ve always made sure to let it be known before the end of a first date, but now I get that information out before any date, Between being panromantic and asexual, I am a dealbreaker for most of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 09:28 AM
0

Makes sense. I didn’t factor that women approaching would significantly decrease finding an assertive man, and women commonly appreciate that trait. Thank you for the feedback. Responses like this are the reason I ask for the community’s thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:47 AM
0

That is kind of my point. Men who approach women usually want sex, so perhaps the ones who don’t approach are a mix of men who prioritize sex but are afraid to approach and men who just don’t prioritize sex. Of course the theory falls apart of there is no such thing as a man who doesn’t prioritize sex and isn’t asexual. If anyone is a man who doesn’t prioritize sex and isn’t asexual, please reply so we know such a man does exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:41 AM
0

I can only base it on observations and seeing the success of the few women I know that approach. I am asexual so I can’t relate to this compulsory sex drive that men seem to have. I always approach since I am very selective and I have so far turned down all approaches since I have never been approached by an asexual compatible person. If all men have equal desire for sex over connection then the theory falls apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:32 AM
1

If choosing among the approaching men, if you don’t wait until sex later you still end up wasting a lot of time filtering through sex prioritized men. Some of those men may be sex starved men and will still keep holding out, so that can be an issue as well. It is still a decent strategy, but I think women choosing out of the larger pool still works better to avoid the men who are all about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:09 AM
4

This post feels a bit contradictory. "I’ve been celibate for almost 4 years because I wanted my next sexual experience to be in a relationship" and "I’m entering my hoe phase and prioritising my own experience instead of trying to fit an ideal that men say they want but don’t actually choose." Did you want your next sexual experience to be in a relationship because you want that, or because you felt like men want that? If you are prioritizing your own experience, then you need to figure out what…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 01:05 AM
1

I am bit unsure how that is the case. I have no shortage of empathy, my first relationship went 12 years until death parted us. My last relationship was with a virgin and I was unwilling to pop the cherry unless we were life partners since she valued waiting for the right person. To me if I was how most people are, after I felt the romantic spark I would have tried to move the relationship towards sex. And then when the relationship doesn’t work out after sex I would just move forward as a guy t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 03:11 PM
2

I took the same approach of escalating risks to help me get out of my comfort zone. I was already plenty good at talking to people of any gender, but I wanted to start giving compliments to people who had cool style choices, but I realized what held me back was my own appearance. I looked so unkempt that I felt like I would creep a person out by giving a compliment instead of boosting their confidence. I eventually found my own style, learned that perming my hair makes it far more manageable, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:17 AM
–

It is too impractical to find a financial equal partner. There are many different salaries and they change throughout a career. I think it is mentally unhealthy for a person to stay at home all day not working. People want to make a difference. Doing so by earning money for the family, putting hours in as a volunteer, or raising children too small to go to school can all provide this feeling. I was the sole breadwinner in a 12 year relationship. It was exhausting. Thankfully I liked my job, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:20 AM
2

Not all the apps have a spot to put down your orientation, so I have had the awkwardness that is pursuing women that may or may not be ok with me being bi. I have since learned to just put it in my bio so I don't have to figure out how to fit my orientation into the conversation. I do agree though it feels like pulling teeth trying to get words out of many of the hetero women on the apps. It was actually so exhausting I switched to guys on the apps for a bit. But then it was exhausting that ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:35 PM
4

As a guy that swings both ways, I much prefer dating women where I have to put effort to seek a match, than dating guys where I get so many matches from people who have nothing in common with me. I feel like it is worse for women since guys seem more likely to lie to them and there are power dynamics as well. At first all the matches from men were flattering, but eventually it just felt so icky. It makes me feel like all I am good for is to be a piece of flesh to have sex with and no one cares a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 09:15 PM
1

I don’t feel like I am cold hearted, but I seem to be able to have sex without emotional attachment. I don’t seem to desire it so I have a low body count, but I can do it. Also why did god design me to be able to be with all genders? It seems really weird considering the world is supposedly built around males and females being together. I think people generalize a bit too much. Having lots of casual sex with many partners probably isn’t healthy due to risk of STDs and what not. But making statem…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:06 PM
9

Which makes it a huge headache for women. They get approached by so many men who are interested in them for their gender and appearance that they have no idea of any of them even care about who they are as a person. As an average at best guy, if a woman approaches me, then I know they actually like something about me more than my appearance. Women seem to be more likely to lie to try to let someone down more gently, but men seem more likely to lie about all sorts of stuff to keep the dating proc…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:38 PM
2

There is research and reflection in between the dates. I don't see it much different than getting better at interviews for jobs. I was terrible before, but I did research and reflected on what went bad. Now I do well in interviews. This same approach works with dating. As for dates, some people had really good questions for me. I kept a mental note of those questions and I use them in future dates. More importantly, I learned what I like and don't like so I can better filter out before a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:55 PM
1

Going on dates to learn more about your own likes and dislikes? Getting more comfortable on a date? Learning which questions are good and bad to ask on a first date? Why would it be so bad to get some rehearsal practice in by going on more dates with lower stakes? For people who are less experienced it makes sense to get some practice dates where there is less pressure rather than trying to go into a high pressure date with genuine attraction and not knowing how hold a decent conversation with s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:37 AM
9

Not all of us are social butterflies. Some of us need the practice. Meeting more people, learning more perspectives, getting more comfortable with yourself is very much not a waste of time. Each date can help a person find out more about what they like and don't like. Also a person could be surprised and end up liking the person, or they could make a new friend. The turning people down afterwards makes me feel bad though, so I learned to be far more particular so I didn't have keep turning peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:26 AM
2

I don't think it has to work this way. With a profile with very limited pictures that make it difficult to gauge attractiveness, I have been able to get dates and form relationships. I just write a good profile and send really good intro messages that state what I am about to people that seem to be on the same page. I can certainly make myself look extra attractive for photos, or even pay a photographer or editor if I wanted to really get the best photos. But then I would be attracting the wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:52 AM
2

I’ve had an attractive waitress touch me on the shoulder in a suggestive way and I felt so ill that I showered as soon as I got home. While she was attractive she wasn’t my type and I didn’t want to be touched. Surprisingly when my buddy bought me a lap dance I was fine with it the physical contact, so it just matters the person and situation I guess. The last woman I fell in love with was before we ever made physical contact. I like sex plenty enough, but it just isn’t a driving force and in my…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 09:19 PM
4

He didn't say that "normal" men don't operate that way. He said men like it is all of them which I thought included me, but apparently not. I guess I am weirder than I thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:46 PM
6

I feel like I am completely unprepared to find out I am not a man today. I definitely don't feel like a woman though, so I don't see me transitioning. I really can't figure out how to handle this new information. Are you suggesting I am non-binary? I mean it isn't entirely impossible I suppose. Maybe I just thought I was a man this whole time because everyone has treated me as male because I was assigned male at birth. They really should put it in a manual somewhere that men can't operate the wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:10 PM
7

It definitely isn't sufficient for love, but it also isn't always necessary. Perhaps I am a weirdo, but I had no problem being in a loving relationship with years of no sex. I also have no problem having sex without love. The two don't seem related to me. I do think trust makes sex more enjoyable, but I don't think love is required. Love and sex are about as related as love and travelling. I like to travel with people I am comfortable with. I would also like to travel with the person I love and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 07:48 PM
–

If there is a bunch of topics that make a person get angry to discuss, that seems like a good thing to get out of the way early. May as well learn those things at the beginning to see if there are any dealbreakers and if healthy communication is possible. Why build attachment only to have struggles later due to things that could have been discovered early. Discussing religion, politics, and values in the first week seems standard to me. There are plenty of viewpoints that I don't need to have al…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:10 PM
–

Finding the right person is difficult, but each individual date is easy. You just be yourself until you find someone who likes you for you. And when that finally happens, hopefully you like them too. It just might take a lot of tries which makes a lot of sense if you look at the math. A common estimate is that we are romantically compatible with about 1% of people although it can be a higher or lower percentage due to natural variance among people). If people match with 15%, then there is a 1/15…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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