AxeMcFlow Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
49	New to the group but sharing my wisdom		AxeMcFlow	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 03:15 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How much did it really cost you? I’ve maintained the perspective that she contributed to my success, and we can both equally share from that success for a certain amount of time. We were together 20 years, so 11 years is fine by me. I already increased my income notably since the divorce and all of that is mine. In short, I’m happy to support her lifestyle, and whatever guy she ends up with, especially if it means she’s happier, and my kids are too	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 09:53 PM
1	How much did it really cost you? Fair, but it just can’t be fought - so no point in worrying about it! Also every situation is different, as a high income earner who was making 90% of the income there’s a dollar value that she’s legally entitled to	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 06:18 PM
2	How much did it really cost you? She’s legally entitled to 100% of support payments regardless of status, so the fact she’s taking a reduction was a win for us. Canadian divorce law here.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 06:02 PM
2	How much did it really cost you? Split the assets 50:50, and split the net income 50:50 too. I make 90% of the gross income. I pay her for 11 years, and it goes down by 40% if she remarries / common law. Child support ends if either kid goes to university and doesn’t live at home - this is another 3-5 years. All in? I’m about $2-m in total payments, plus whatever the 50:50 asset split was. All things considered… worth every penny	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 05:51 PM
1	After your separation, what new habit or routine did you adopt? Yoga and running - I go to Yoga classes, but not the real strenuous type, just lazy yoga. It’s given me an hour to just sit, breathe, and stretch - and as a bonus I’m typically the only man there. Running was a slow start. 10-20 mins max. But I find it’s also this meditative process where I can just be in my thoughts and I feel good when the run is done	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/24 02:42 PM
2	Men, there is hope! I second this! Life went from crumbling all around me to building into something new, unexpected and somehow better. Maybe different and not ‘better’, but it sure isn’t worse. Stay strong friends. Focus on building your optimal selves	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 02:26 PM
8	Missing my children It definitely gets easier. I’ve taken the perspective that I ‘get to’ - meaning I get to spend time with my boys and do whatever I want. I get to shape their little lives however I want. I get to show up and be the dad I know I am. I get to create the life for them that I want. I get to love them fully and be all present when they are there. I also give my ex hope and love that she will create a wonderful life for them too. It’s not about missing out, it’s about using the time you have with them…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/24 01:06 PM
1	New to the group but sharing my wisdom I think you’d be better off sharing this question as a post to the group itself - I am by no means an expert on these matters and just shared my experience	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 06:14 PM
4	New to the group but sharing my wisdom I was ok with fine. Horrible would have been abuse, and addiction on top of what I was facing	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:44 AM
3	New to the group but sharing my wisdom Yes I can agree with all of those points - very insightful	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 12:00 AM
0	New to the group but sharing my wisdom I think the answer is going to be unique to everyone, but ask yourself why you want more sex and fun. What does that give you in terms of fulfillment. If you had more sex and fun, would your life finally be on the right track? I don’t have these answers for you or anyone, my point is dig deeper than just those items and what is the root of those things and why are they important to you?	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 08:58 PM
5	New to the group but sharing my wisdom I think what I’m saying is one needs to love themselves and care for themselves first before being able to give oneself fully to fixing a marriage. This is what was missing for me. Had I been able to see this as it relates to my own situation I may have had a different outcome - even if it still ended in the end of my marriage	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 08:51 PM
5	New to the group but sharing my wisdom I don’t know if she ever would have asked to end things. She didn’t particularly think we needed to fix things either. Since leaving she moved on quick and states that she had been unhappy for a long time as well, but never could express that. I think I got stuck in a feedback loop - where the answer was to end things - and then I’d want to work on things and it wouldn’t go ‘my way’ - so I guess leaving makes sense - and so forth. I think relationships are extremely hard. Maybe they can be worth…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 06:57 PM
4	Feeling Ok For Days Off It flips eventually. Like a “I deserve this” mentality. Use that freedom to better yourself so that when you have your boys again you’re a better dad for them. Do the shit you want and come back even stronger for them and be more present.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 03:30 PM
2	Why don’t men go on “healing journeys”? I mean, I guess I did? There’s an excellent men’s camping/hiking/fishing retreat that looks at all aspect of men’s mental health. I suggest anyone consider doing the same	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 02:51 AM