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BJBirr Archive

View 1 post and 29 comments by BJBirr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
270

BJBirr/r/MensRights17/09/12 09:21 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Challenging validity, nature, and convenient timing of her disability are all strategies in my legal defense.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 10:14 PM
1

Challenging her disability is one aspect of my legal defense. The marriage was short simply because I could no longer tolerate her abusive manipulation and deceit.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 10:12 PM
1

My integrity is intact, and I intend to keep it that way. Regardless of her decisions, I will not flatter her bad behavior by mimicking it.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 10:10 PM
1

That is actually not true Indeed it is, to my dismay. This is what I was trying to explain. My VA disability is not being considered a divisible asset. Referencing your same document, see #8 and then more relevantly #9. The SCOTUS decision in Rose vs Rose solidified state courts' decisions to use VA disability as an income source when awarding alimony and child support. In my case, only alimony applies.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 04:34 PM
3

Theres a federal law that specifically says that military disability is hands-off when it comes to divorce. I thought the same thing. I was wrong in how California interprets/applies this. The disability as a whole cannot be considered as a divisible marital ASSET (such as pension or retirement), it can however be considered as income I can use to offset my expenses. With those offset expenses, California courts then consider I have that much more to ability to pay spousal support (alimony).
/r/MensRights18/09/12 02:06 PM
3

You should be able to use emotional abuse as a cause for an "at-fault" divorce. I wish. I lack the burden of proof to show the emotional abuse. Her personal testimony counteracts mine. Unlike victims of physical abuse, I have no police documentation to substantiate my claims. Even the professional opinion of the psychologist under whose care I placed myself is hearsay; he has no direct knowledge of the facts.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:25 PM
1

It's refreshing to hear as close to a success story as possible in such situations. Thanks for relating.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 09:35 AM
7

There were signs. I ignored them. Post separation, I sought the care of a psychologist - one of the best decisions I've ever made. I had to assume I'd somehow placed myself in the situation I found myself, but lacked the objectivity and insight to identify the reasons. Admittedly, I historically sought the acceptance of such women in a surrogate attempt at acceptance from an abusive stepmother from my childhood. She definitely seemed "normaler" during our dating period. The full breadth and exte…
/r/MensRights18/09/12 08:25 AM
1

Thank you for the support. One way or another, I'll come out the other side of this. Perhaps, by sharing this here, I've raised awareness of the perils of marriage facing men; maybe someone will be helped. There is that consolation.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 07:26 AM
2

Education for the benefit of a common demographic ultimately benefits yourself. Please take notes and play close attention, you my ultimately be one of the men you most profoundly assist.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 07:16 AM
2

Can't these problems be avoided with a prenup? I'm still up; insomnia. From my understanding, maybe, but not positively. For example, here's a bunch of info on how a prenup could be overturned
/r/MensRights18/09/12 06:58 AM
4

Unfortunately, the court would simply go off of my earning potential that I've historically demonstrated and assign that earning amount for the purpose of calculating spousal support. I would then accrue arrears which I would be unable to pay due to lack of employment.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 06:03 AM
2

To what specifically do you need a citation?
/r/MensRights18/09/12 05:06 AM
1

Alimony is left solely to the discretion of the court in Nevada in both amount and duration. This includes indefinite alimony. You really have no idea what you're talking about, apparently. California has jurisdiction over the marriage and divorce, including alimony.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 04:46 AM
3

Actually, I married her in the state of Nevada, which does NOT have the lifetime alimony provision. At no time what I ever made aware of this possibility until after her attorney informed my attorney that she had suddenly become disabled subsequent to my petition for divorce being filed with the California courts.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 03:55 AM
3

Thank you for the clarification. Perhaps I responded defensively, but my perception was your stance was in defense of my ex, and therefore I felt compelled to elaborate.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 03:17 AM
4

If it were a simply matter of my spouse becoming disabled during the course of our marriage, I would not be seeking divorce. I left and filed for divorce when I could no longer handle the constant emotional abuse, tolerate the social isolation, and believe another lie. I stayed with her for over four years giving her the benefit of the doubt - she is a bastion of manipulation and deceit. With the circumstantial evidence of her consistent pattern of controlling behaviors, self-serving manipulatio…
/r/MensRights18/09/12 03:09 AM
1

Figures. I am by no means an attorney, and assumed it would work. In light of that information, I would suggest to simply not be married.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:34 AM
10

I asked the blatant question, "Doesn't it matter that she's NOT disabled?" and received basically the same response as your post. Family law is not criminal law, where the burden of proof is "beyond reasonable doubt" nor civil trials where it's even 50%. Family law is arbitrary; so far, she's been granted concession on, and I quote, "the benefit of the doubt". Apparently, "the benefit of the doubt" doesn't benefit me. All she needed was one diagnosis in her favor to open the door - now it's open…
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:30 AM
2

I'm sorry you feel that way. I have no idea your full circumstance, but I'm certain that isn't the answer. Our bleakest moments seem eternal, but they are not; they pass, and provide us the necessary perspective to truly appreciate their converse.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:24 AM
3

Thanks for the supportive words, they're appreciated. I understand this shall pass. If nothing else, my situation hopefully stands as warning to one or more would-be victims. Thoroughly vet any potential partners; the presumption that you should "trust" someone based on your apparent emotional connection is founded on faulty logic. Some of my most profound life epiphanies were born from the pain of strife and consequences of poor decisions. This is one of those growth opportunities; the wisdom p…
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:18 AM
8

I spent 5 months in Thailand while I was in the military training the Thai army how to de-mine the minefields along their Myanmar border; beautiful country.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:09 AM
11

Yea, I only knew my ex for a little better than a year before we married. Over the course of the marriage, I discovered that literally everything she portrayed herself to be was untrue. Unfortunately, California is a "no fault" state, so I cannot use the fact that she lied about her past, her abusive behaviors, or her alcoholism as ammunition against her. It all comes down to dollars here - I'm employed, she's not; I pay.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 12:17 AM
8

Thanks, Synackaon.
/r/MensRights17/09/12 11:22 PM
19

everyone thinks im an idiot because im against marriage I don't. I think I'm an idiot for falling into her web. You, Sir, are brilliant. but atleast you are out of there There is that. My Dad provided some consolidation in that regard when he told me: Whatever the courts award her, you're making out as long as it's less that 100%. You were giving her 100%, so anything less is a win. How much is your sanity and happiness worth for the rest of your life? What check would you write for that? Don't …
/r/MensRights17/09/12 11:17 PM
9

I'm not sure why you're surprised. Sadly, I'm not surprised; I'm despondent.
/r/MensRights17/09/12 11:06 PM
24

After shopping around through several doctors, she found one who gave her a diagnosis of relapsing/remitting multiple sclerosis. I don't have copies of her actual medical records, but I was able to learn the the first doctor labeled her symptoms as psychosomatic and referred her to a psychiatrist and the second physician, a neurologist, told her she was "fine" and to quit smoking. I do not know, if any, how may doctors she visited between the first two and the one who diagnosed her. That R/RMS d…
/r/MensRights17/09/12 10:32 PM
79

If she's awarded lifetime alimony when the permanent order is ruled, my current plan is to expatriate and simply never pay. Failure to pay alimony is a misdemeanor and non-extraditable. At that point, I would consider the country I love and defended to have failed and abandoned me, and would regrettably have to spend my years elsewhere. If I've just another 18 months or so of paying her off, I'll do it and be done with it.
/r/MensRights17/09/12 10:14 PM
5

Wow, that article pretty much summed up the "discussion" techniques my (soon to be) ex wife uses... So many of our arguments were based on her "feeling" something that was in no way based on fact, rationality, or reality.
/r/MensRights17/09/12 08:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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