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BakedCheddar88 Archive

View 2 posts and 51 comments by BakedCheddar88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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20

Dating After DivorceBakedCheddar88/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 12:36 AM
8

RantBakedCheddar88/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 09:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I did actually haha. I met someone last fall on hinge and was really shocked at how well we connected. We connected so well that I basically panicked and ended things lol. There were other circumstances too but for the most part i wasn’t ready for that type of relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:02 PM
1

Oh yeah. Now that I’m a year out from this, I’m totally open to it. I still don’t want to get married again but that’s only because the technical aspect of divorce was too much to go through. But falling in love? Yeah, I’m down. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the year since I wrote this and she doesn’t have to be this perfect, amazing, manic pixie dream girl. She just has to be someone who loves me and I love her. And if she’s out there, I’m willing to give it a shot
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 11:28 AM
5

Set up rules. Make it so that the house or at least certain rooms are neutral zones. She can’t bring dates over and neither can you. Ask her not to mention where she’s going or what she’s doing. It was literally the only way I got through it when I was in that situation.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 05:52 PM
10

I feel like this isn’t talked about enough. It’s always how young men are radicalized by the red pilled manosphere and whatnot but no one talks about how women have the exact same problem. I’m all for feminism and independent women, but I follow some of these female content creators and some of the shit they spread to their followers is just as toxic as men. And I completely agree, marriage was a complete waste of time and I’m never going through that again. Hell, I barely even want to date righ…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:00 PM
2

I went through this, still kinda am tbh. It’s the perception that’s getting you down. Divorce is embarrassing and traumatic, you can’t help but replay everything in your head: the good times, bad times, your mistakes, her mistakes, it just all plays into a loop. But then there’s also that sense of failure. You used to be part of a pair but now it’s just you and everyone knows. On top of that too, your ex used to be the one to give you reassurance, maybe even purpose. Not necessarily in a “oh she…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 04:30 AM
3

Yeah I get that, when we first broke up I felt that loneliness too. This time I think it’s more anxiety over moving on. Dating takes time, effort and vulnerability, I think my brain would just rather go back to the familiar
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 12:50 PM
11

Dating’s weird. Being single is weird. The rules are so different from when I was last single 15 years ago. I miss being married. As much as I hated the nagging and the bs towards the end, having these shallow conversations with these strangers make me miss her. Not enough to try and win her back but just that person who knew me already
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 04:51 AM
3

Then that is why some of these women have overinflated egos. If most men are begging every profile that pops up then of course women are gonna be choosy. And then when the conversation or date gets stale, women are gonna stop responding, or they’ll go on these unsatisfying dates and then hop online and bitch and moan to their friends. Go after what you want, not just anyone who will return the swipe. Because what ends up happening is you match with someone you have little interest in and you end…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 11:34 PM
18

This article sounds like it’s mostly bullshit tbh. While yes, women can be picky and yes they may say this while being asked in an online survey, most of them just want a moderately attractive man who treats them decently and remembers specific things. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been single long enough to have seen these long ass requirements and wishlists on dating apps. Thing is, at the end of the day women online can be just as shallow as men, if not more. You on hinge and you only heart the ch…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:30 PM
1

The freedom is what makes it all worth it. And its freedom in the small things, like when and what to have for dinner, or what to watch on tv. Is the silence deafening at times? Sure, but it’s so much better than being nagged at all the goddamn time lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 07:43 PM
5

It’s the silence that’s devastating. It took me awhile to get adjusted to it. Tbh now when I get lonely at night I just have my internal monologue out loud lol. I’m sure my neighbors think I’m crazy lol but it’s not like I’m having full blown conversations, just thinking out loud. It’s like self soothing almost
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:42 AM
8

My ex did the same thing, but we were still living together when she had her glow up. She lost a ton of weight and was walking around looking just as good as when we first got together. Unfortunately, some of the cliches work. I decided to focus on losing weight, trying to have my own glow up, I unsuccessfully browsed the dating apps, I found new hobbies. It didn’t stop me from thinking she was hot nor feeling the resentment from her not being hotter while we were still married, but it was decen…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:51 AM
20

Yeah my ex tried to do this. Luckily for me she’s an awful liar lol and was pretty easy to figure out. Women just don’t care, once they have made up their minds that they’re the victim (whether legit or not), anything they do is justified to them
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 11:25 AM
3

Oh yeah good point, I forget rules vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, especially if the divorce gets messy and they have to declare finances.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 12:47 PM
6

Save your money. Build yourself a nest egg and get your finances in order. Everything is expensive and infinitely harder than before. My ex stayed with me like nine months and after she finally left I was financially devastated. Start cutting unnecessary expenses, get used to not having disposable income, practice living without less because once she’s truly gone, shit gets real
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 10:57 AM
1

No, if you’re willing to work with your ex then save the money. My ex got a lawyer despite us being friendly and he did nothing. Hell, he actually got in the way and made things worse at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 11:23 AM
6

Because most of the time when women leave it’s because they’re unhappy with some aspect of their spouse, most of the time they feel like they’re in a rut, or trapped, whatever. So the knee jerk reaction is to catch her attention by switching things up, showing her what she’s missing. The problem is by the time she announces she’s leaving she’s been mentally gone for a very long time. There is no more talking about it, working on yourself may delay the inevitable, same with counseling, but at the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 11:25 AM
2

Therapy mostly. I have a few friends that I talk to on a somewhat regular basis but if I’m really struggling I schedule something with my therapist
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 11:36 PM
1

I appreciate this, especially the first part bc you’re absolutely right. The entire reason I was trying to work on myself was because I had spent our 20s blowing money trying to keep her entertained. And I love my mom, which is why I could never live with her again lol. The real solution is that I’m gonna have to live in a shitty neighborhood for a year or so, which I’m fine with. It’ll be temporary and I’ll be saving hundreds of dollars a month so it’ll be worth it. Plus it’ll be easier to meet…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 02:20 AM
1

Exactly. And I think that’s what pisses me off the most sometimes about this whole thing. I was working my ass off between work and school, angling for promotions, studying nights and weekends, and she was doing nothing. Of course she got bored and lonely, all she did was work and do chores. It just sucks that all that progress was all but wiped away but I’m dusting myself off and I’m trying again. Even if I lose my place and have to move into a studio in the ghetto, that just means I’ll have to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:43 AM
2

It just really sucks. I would’ve moved mountains for her if she asked me to, yet she wouldn’t piss on fire to put me out. And heaven forbid I turn to anyone for help or advice. “Be a man” or “be strong and push through it.” Of course I will, I truly have no choice. It’s just exhausting
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 11:39 PM
3

Yeah seriously, i pressed post and it felt like a huge weight was lifted. I’ll be alright, it’s all about moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 11:01 PM
4

I’m gonna sound so full of it when I say this but I feel lonely even though I have people in my life who want to spend time with me. My friends are all settled down with wives and kids so we all barely talked even before the divorce. Now that I’m single we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. I am in a completely different world from them now. I have one female friend who pretty much just uses me to trauma dump about her divorce while also pumping me for information about mine so she can g…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 04:23 PM
10

I just don’t think marriage works in this modern day anymore, at least not in America. Not to sound like a podcast bro or anything but women are constantly told how they don’t need us and how lazy and stupid we are, and there are so many other, thirsty guys willing to replace us that I just truly don’t believe in the concept anymore. In my view, marriage is supposed to be an us against the world partnership, but if one partner is told the other one sucks and that partner starts believing no it, …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:13 PM
1

I’ve always wanted to try liquid death, I’ll pick up a can today and see how I like it
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:47 PM
5

Low sodium diet mostly. I used to eat DoorDash once or twice daily so I cut that out, I cut out most frozen meals, and I’ve added fruits and vegetables. And portion control. I used to eat seconds and thirds and I stick to one plate of food with each meal. I’ve also cut back on sweets. The one thing that I still do is drink soda but that’s just bc fuck it, you only live once lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 01:58 AM
7

I’m going through something similar though it starts off more extreme. I had gained a TON of weight during my last year or so of marriage and I thought I was just letting myself go. Turns out I had a heart condition and was retaining water. 130lbs down, a diet, and lifestyle change later and suddenly I’m catching the ex shooting me side glances lol. Every time I hit a new weight loss milestone or physical activity goal I feel like it’s another win in the divorce, especially bc it felt like she w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 01:13 PM
2

Like that week after we broke up haha. She was done with the marriage long before we broke up, she says she was faithful but the second it was over she was out there
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:32 PM
4

You’d win that bet lol.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:31 PM
6

Yeah my ex and still live together and she just went on a three week trip to Portugal to see the new guy she’s dating. It didn’t bother me because she paid her half of the rent beforehand and we’ve already moved on from each other so good for her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 12:16 PM
3

I’m dealing with this exact situation right now, I literally had this exact crash out yesterday morning while struggling to pay rent. You can do it, you have to focus on one thing at a time and just put one foot forward. Like I panicked over the rent, finding a new, cheaper, shittier place, medical bills, health, and I was paralyzed. If you’re looking at all of that then yes, it’s scary and seems impossible. That’s why it might be best to take it on thing at a time. What’s the most urgent but ma…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:18 PM
3

This is literally me right now. The ex is overseas living her best life with her new guy meanwhile I’m trying to figure out if I have enough for rent Thursday.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 05:33 AM
7

My divorce was finalized two weeks ago and there’s absolutely no chance I’m getting married again. I barely want to date, I just want a friend who I can spend time with and will occasionally let me sleep with her lol. And if not, that’s fine too. I just want to live my life and grow as a person
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:53 PM
14

My ex lost over 100 pounds, at first I was pissed bc where was that effort during our marriage? But now she’s damn near unrecognizable and it’s helped make moving on much easier lol
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 11:42 PM
13

One thing I have learned is that when I’m in a relationship I almost trick myself into thinking the woman I’m with is perfect for me, kinda like jamming a round peg through a square hole. I think when you’re young you get infatuated easily and then the sex and finally the pressure by society to get married makes you create the illusion that this woman is everything you want and need, and I’m sure it’s the same for them. If I get into a serious, long term relationship again I’m gonna make sure th…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 04:58 PM
14

My stbx complained about me not unloading the dishwasher last night. She’s moving out the first week of April too, soon I can unload the dishwasher when and however I want
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 12:47 PM
8

It takes time. Remember, if she was able to move on from the relationship that fast then she was over your relationship a lot longer than 7 months ago. Women can sit and be unhappy in relationships for months before ending things. It’s not that it was easy for her, she got a head start. All you can do is take it one step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 07:32 PM
4

I was lucky that my stbx didn’t like Valentine’s so today doesn’t really bother me. It’s just another Friday so far for me
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:51 PM
7

I think it’s because divorce is such a taboo subject for people that they don’t know how to engage with those going through it. I have a support system and I appreciate them trying but because they haven’t gone through it they’re basically wasting their time. The only thing that somewhat helps me is therapy, talking through my emotions with a professional at least helps me recontextualize things. This sub helps a bit too, even if some of the advice boils down to “get money, fuck bitches” lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 03:28 PM
7

I struggle with this too, I’m three months since we filed and we still live together so I get to see and hear her moving on as if the last 15 years never happened. I take it one day at a time tbh. Some days it helps remembering that thought we filed only a few months ago, she’s been mentally done much longer. Some days that pisses me off to the point i can’t think of anything else. Some days i try and work on myself, telling myself that I’ll come out of this better than ever. Some days I’m so ov…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:32 AM
2

We were both gamers so I got like that when we first separated where I couldn’t play anything without feeling lonely. It gets easier.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 02:52 AM
9

I’m kind of in this situation but I’m going about it differently. Wife announces she wants a divorce back in September, I’m pretty sure she had an affair but I’m too insecure to get a confirmation or not. I thought my wife and I were happy so to have everything suddenly over and for her to suddenly move on was a gut punch. I have an old friend who’s been dying to hook up with me but I know I’m not ready because I’m not over the marriage. Any poor woman I go out with is just gonna hear me complai…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 11:51 PM
1

You’ve hit the nail on the head. She never really liked my ex and on top of that she too just got out of a long term relationship, so I think in her head things are lining up perfectly right now and I’m the only one keeping us apart. But I also saw the signs of codependency and trauma bonding, just unfortunately after I trauma dumped on her about the divorce, it was like post nut clarity lmao. So now she knows not only that I’m single but everything that went wrong in my marriage, stuff that she…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 02:33 PM
1

That’s the thing that has kept me going through the divorce tbh, the idea that I’m much better at the end of this relationship than I was at the beginning. I just have to hit my fitness goals and replace what I’m losing in the divorce and I’ll probably be a pretty nice catch lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:02 PM
2

That’s exactly it, I enjoy talking to her and we were friends for almost as long as my ex and I were together, but the second it turns to her hitting on me it kills the mood. And that’s the plan, I want at least a year to truly get myself together before I even consider getting back out there. I need to work on my fitness and financial goals first
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 12:56 PM
2

Yeah it’s crazy how pushy women can be when you turn them down lol like I’ve told my friend several times I’m not ready to do anything and she keeps trying to hook up. It’s like I’m a piece of meat lol and usually that’d be ok but I’m clearly not ready yet
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:36 AM
2

That’s exactly what I want to do. I was working on my career before the ex left, I want to continue working on that. Dating is the furthest thing from my mind right now
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:33 AM
2

Luckily we didn’t have kids so that’s not an issue. We’re living together til the lease is up on our apartment but after that we’ll have nothing tying us together. Clean break
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:32 AM
1

This is exactly what I want to avoid. I know if I were to date now I’d spend the entire date rehashing the divorce, which is why I’d rather stay single for now. Even if it was with the friend I mentioned and it was a casual thing, I’d probably spend the entire time whining about the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:29 AM
6

Ok glad I’m not an outlier. The ex and I were together over a decade, it’s weird suddenly being single. I’d rather focus on myself for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 12:52 AM
11

My wife just told me the other day that she wants a divorce after basically giving me the cold shoulder for three months and at first I was devastated but now I feel relieved. We’ve been together since high school, damn near 20 years and it feels like I’m close to being free. I wasn’t miserable during our marriage but now that it’s ending I’ve realized how much I’ve changed to try and make her happy and how unhappy I’ve been. I went from moping around on Monday to plotting my future and I’m stok…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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