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BathAutomatic6972 Archive

View 0 posts and 252 comments by BathAutomatic6972 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

First, your feelings are your feelings. Sit with them and try not to reason with them. Don't try and solve them, just let yourself feel them. This is the magic of your body—your mind/heart/parasympathetic system will eventually integrate and solve the problem for you. You just have to sit with them and feel them. Maybe this isn't true AT ALL, but the vibe I try and feel is "My feelings aren't me. My feelings are my body and mind and heart's way of digesting this essential truth. And the more dee…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 07:37 PM
12

your ex-wife’s probably told him lies, half truth, and secrets all wrapped up to show how terrible of a person you are. My ex-wife did the same thing. Divorce doesn’t change people just reveals who they are. And if it wasn’t gonna be there, it was gonna be something else. I’m sorry about that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 02:48 PM
4

Then trial.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:19 AM
4

What does your attorney say?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 09:35 PM
1

When did treating women as human beings rather than royalty when they treat men like dirt become making nasty comments about them? We don't deify women, more especially our exes, and we shouldn't expect deification in return. There's not a problem that marrying or remarrying a woman solves in our lives (just like marrying a man doesn't solve any problem in women's lives). I don't believe women's lives get better just because a man is in them, and I don't believe men's lives get better just becau…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 06:11 PM
9

I don't think it's as simple or as common as this. Also, you should try to stop doom-fantasizing about your ex-wife. She's in her lane, you're in yours. Live your life. I think it takes a lot for men to want to leave, but when they do, it's done. Women treat men like shit, and then one day men are like, "Get the fuck out." There are no signs, no chances to heal. Women will leave those messages—they may be cryptic and vague sometimes, but they'll leave them. Men may not notice, but those messages…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:15 PM
9

*Your soon to be ex-wife. She is an enemy now and if you don't see that, you are not going to see your children and they will never have a relationship with you. Get into a headspace like you're fighting Mike Tyson. All of the balls are in her court. You are under surveillance. GET A FUCKING ATTORNEY YESTERDAY to contest the protective order. If you don't fight you will get 0% custody. You will be hosed forever. I can't stress this enough—IF SHE DID THIS SHE IS NOT YOUR WIFE. SHE IS THE ENEMY.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 08:43 PM
2

I did. She got a great deal and I fell in love with the thing that saved my life. And she's not here which is probably why.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:33 PM
10

She will do it again. And again. And you will be raising other men’s children without your consent while she is fucking other men. and she will disrupt your peace and your family while she does it. That’s not love. That’s abuse. Get some mental health and exorcise this shit person from your life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 02:02 PM
8

There is nothing wrong that marriage solves.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 02:45 AM
2

The solution I found is to get right with yourself and with your male friends. Get out mixed company in public socialize even if it’s just sitting at a bar around people reading a book. Every time I see a comment from men on the sub Reddit wondering if it’s OK to pay for sex. I am like 100% pay for sex. I’m not there yet, but I have no judgment on men who do that or the women who provide it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:21 PM
16

my exwife very much pushed an agenda (anonymously) on the "Are we dating the same guy" after we were divorce and I was dating. It killed some very nice beginnings of relationships. A friend of mine told me that I was on there, and when I reached out to folks I had been seeing (I was openly ENM at the time) one of them said "yeah, I saw that and said you were a nice date" me: so you participated? "yes, but the rules of that group are that you can't tell the men you are seeing" I asked friend who …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:26 PM
8

OH FUCK you both are right.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:12 PM
10

No. Not at all, whether she was adultrous or not. And if anyone contemplated it, I would have one word: prenup. She's not taking more. Also, who is asking you to take her back? I would be super suspect. That being said, your Old Testament stuff is certainly a take.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:17 PM
2

It is normal. It's not normal to be abusive. It's normal to be angry and show anger. It's not normal for other people to tell you to not be angry. It's normal to be sad, and depressed, and happy, and relieved all at the same time. So long as you are feeling them, and not punishing yourself and others, you are normal. Sometimes the box 'divorce' comes in has core issues in it, like child abuse, or neglect, or parental problems because it is a lightning strike at the core of how we attach and feel…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 09:48 PM
6

Yeah, dude, don’t talk to her at all. Hire the attorney have him talk to her attorney
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:18 AM
2

GD this is strange, but we've been almost two and half years since she was in my bed and I think the last bit of attachment trauma is working it's way out of me. Same boat. My friend, I don't want to lie to you—your nightmares are emblematic of what you went through, but it's also emblematic of your mind and soul trying to unfuck itself. Don't fight it, lean in, talk about it with therapist, sit with discomfort, don't try and ruminate.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:04 AM
6

Marry yourself. Be the person you love and take care of.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 11:40 PM
2

When I first asked for a divorce I had BIG TIME cold feet. I was talking with my ex-sister in law (friends with my ex wife) and she said "You need to show BIG MOVES that you're serious. You just let her keep everything!" And then I knew—my ex-wife was trying to take all of it "because equity" and this broad was trying to undermine her family. So, I understand your pain, but keep yours YOURS and what's her's HER'S.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 09:24 PM
2

No, but that has nothing to do with her. I’m the person who should’ve held by my boundaries and my beliefs that marriage is not a solution to anything. The state does not need to be involved with my relationships (or anybody else’s but that’s their decision).
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 02:55 PM
4

But he also played the flute.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 04:51 AM
2

Here, here I think there are different types of accountability between men and women, and I think the version women portray “accountability” is different than the way men think about accountability. I think women never get to the initial. I did something wrong. They will never admit to fault. Women: “I didn’t mean it that way. You’re making me feel like a bad person. This is your fault for making me appear this way.” The move is: intent/emotional distress as escape hatch. Men are different. They…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:30 AM
8

Make her fucking wait.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:11 AM
17

Love you bro. Stop talking to her on the phone. Text only.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:11 AM
1

I would block an ex for a gd hell of it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:04 PM
9

"hey, you're lactose intolerant. should you really be eating that much dairy every day…" "YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, NARCISSIST." **sounds like a double barrel shotgun coming from the bathroom**
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 03:59 PM
10

There’s a few things I don’t miss. She was lactose intolerant, but every day ate a huge box of mac & cheese for lunch and would get terrible explosive diarrhea in the afternoon. She worked from home and thought I couldn’t hear it but oh my God every day. She thought that her version of everything was the truth and so anytime she agreed with something she would authoritatively say “that’s fair!” I don’t miss her hypocrisy. There’s lots of bigger deeper things I don’t miss, but in the spirit of yo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 02:23 PM
5

100 women vs accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 05:31 PM
7

DARVO is such a weird accusation because people who are victimized often do these exact things as do people who are innocent. I got accused of being an abuser, and when I really pressed her and her friends for the specific incidents they said “ you promised that you would make her happy and you decided to get a divorce.” Seriously. And when I denied that that was actually abusive that was when the DARVO came out. My ex-wife wanted to be a victim more than she wanted anything in the world because…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:58 PM
1

Where are you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:52 PM
13

You miss how you feel in your own memory of her. Not necessarily how you are now, or how you were when you were married, but the version of you in your mind right now of who you were is more appealing than who you are at the moment. I know that's REALLY weird and abstract, but it's really about attachment. By your own wording, she became a right floppy dick in the end. That's also who she is. Her friends who told her she needed to divorce and she could do "better"? That's also her. Her avoiding …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 08:14 PM
1

Totally fair and your feelings and opinions are valid. I have the spoons to do what I said and you don't. And that's completely ok and understandable. Your peace is number one.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 05:11 PM
3

First, you protecting your peace is highest order issue. Second, if this happens again, I would connect, but timebox and do it in public. Keep in mind this might be a trap, so come correct. And I'd be honest about your accountability, her accountability. Bring receipts. Treat him like a friend until he gives you cause not to. Women do this all the time. Your current girlfriend is talking with your ex-wife. Your jilted lovers are talking about you on Facebook. Your tinder matches are asking for t…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:52 PM
2

I've heard that a lot. For me I don't think it's projection—I just think she has shitty friends and family that feed her bullshit and they definitely are narcissistic adjacent assholes. I'm friends with her cousin's husband, and his take was "You know bro, I think she'd have been open to working on things if she didn't have shitty friends and family. But she does and they fueled her 'Girl, you don't need that abusive asshole.'" I miss being married terribly*—*she was a phenomenal partner (but a …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 08:02 PM
2

50/50. She provoked it with her behavior, I escalated. I don’t know if we would still be married if I had the insights into my and her trauma that I have now, but I know the exit would’ve been better. But without a doubt, I contributed but the difference between her and I is that I admit my accountability and she doesn’t and never will. Also, I’m a narcissist and a cheater evidently.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:48 PM
3

Just take her to a small claims
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 01:15 AM
–

In addition at no point did I say that women created patriarchy. I said that occasionally women benefit from it and they support and like those parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:18 PM
–

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s44202-024-00282-8 Men are only awarded custody between six and 7% of the time. If a law only applied to 70% of women, would you say that that law was biased?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:17 PM
–

That’s amazing! “ pointed the place where patriarchy benefits women” I pointed the place where patriarchy benefits women “ your problem, was with your government women” I’ve literally showed you where patriarchy benefits you. And women prevent it from being changed. And at no point have I ever said that women created patriarchy I pointed out that women occasionally benefit from it and that women like the parts that women benefit from patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:11 PM
–

Also, you literally can’t see or understand or identify the places where women benefit from patriarchy? I I think you’re being disingenuous because you wanna argue semantics rather than actually admit that there are structures of oppression that affect women and benefit them. there’s a reason why women vote for Republicans. Edit: the goal of sexist oppression is to level certain benefits, and to use those benefits to exploit women’s labor and to get sexual access. I’m saying that women want the …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:09 PM
–

And I don’t think you understand how outcomes can dictate structure. If outcomes are limited based on identity or any other factor it’s because those structured favor one over the other if only 3% of an identity benefits from an outcome it means that that outcome is not built to support that identity. That you a woman can’t see that is amazing convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:06 PM
–

If a law affected only 3% of white people, would you say the law is race-neutral?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 11:50 PM
0

3% of men have benefited from these laws. (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11150-025-09821-1) Edit: If a law affected only 3% of white people, would you say the law is race-neutral?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 11:25 PM
1

see I can do this too: You're incorrect. see? a debate!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 10:12 PM
-4

Women are exempt from specific risks and labor—women are excluded from the draft/conscription. Women are given custody of children by default. Women control reproductive framing. Specific spousal support laws protect women specifically and by design. Women can invoke vulneraability through just being a woman (legal sympathy) without losing status. When was the last time you took a man out to dinner? Edit: "But I'm just a gurl!"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 09:53 PM
7

I think you're almost right. Women hate patriarchy when it doesn't benefit them and they love the parts that do benefit them which is (IMHO) kind of expected and logical from that 'gotta preserve what's number one/get that bag, girl' POV. Women don't want to demonstrate value because it simplifies their interiority and holds them to account for something but demand high-value men. "I am the table" is ultimately meaningless. Men are the same way—they love and want to say they are independent and …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 08:47 PM
1

OMG this is my ex wife. Someone who began our marriage with love and asked for grace and building and appreciation in the beginning who just decided one day that she wanted to reorganize our relationship to be a codependent taker and slowly moved in that direction. "I didn't sign up for this" and "That sounds like a you-problem." Sorry to say as a person in the armed forces, there are laws that apply to you that don't apply generally. Be cautious!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 08:18 PM
1

I honestly think that you are keying in on something really keen, maybe even the larger vehicle and a lot of red pill folks are gonna disagree with us: people generally don’t have problems that marriage solves. In fact, I think marriage doesn’t solve any problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:00 PM
9

Then be gone when she gets back with papers on the table.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 10:18 PM
2

Really, women spend hours getting ready with expensive products to appeal to a man and not to get a free meal? Seriously? That seems like a colossal waste of time and money for everybody. Also, when was the last time you took a man out? My inherent nature is to have a free lunch.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:10 PM
–

I think you're right. Tracy Morgan had a great insight; he said (i'm paraphrasing) if you want to know what someone thinks of you, what they want to do with you, how they want to grow with you or exploit you, be quiet and listen. They'll tell you. What they want to do with you, what they think of you. Just shut up and listen.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 04:50 PM
–

Fair, and these folks I was dating, as well as all of the other women I’ve dated may have had those negative experiences and not told me. But in the cases that they did share, it was enthusiastically consented to and they communicated that it was a positive experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 04:08 PM
–

Maybe path of least resistance, but not the one that I wanted in my life. I’ve already made too many mistakes in my life and I didn’t need to be reactive in this circumstance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:41 PM
–

I didn’t really push it or really inquire deeply beyond no because that felt like interrogation and I didn’t want to behave that way. That’s not enthusiastic consent. That’s not sexy. I think the reason they didn’t want to go do that with me is because they didn’t want to go do that with me and that was enough for me. I didn’t really want to Sherlock my way into the reasoning. I was just not the man they wanted to do that with and it didn’t really need to be more complex than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:26 PM
–

I didn’t really get the sense that it was anything other than us having spicy conversation, the result of which is getting insights into how we think about and feel about one another in a variety of flavors and ways. It revealed what it needed to reveal I guess. I don’t think it was any more nefarious than finding out something honest. And so I really appreciate that. I’m sure folks will bump on the fact that I felt that asymmetry or that deprioritization and use that as another poster just ment…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:18 PM
–

I think both of these women and the relationship we had were pretty honest and open. It was comfortable enough for sharing and comfortable enough for me to want to explore that and comfortable enough for them to say no without feeling like any part of that was coercive. It was also relatively early days so I think the first nine months? After that, I think it was less about any repercussions or actions or behaviors that changed and i became more observant about other incompatibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:09 PM
–

I agree with you there!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:58 PM
–

I agreed with you until that last sentence about not being honest with men ever about the past. It seems like you’re also saying that it’s acceptable and necessary to be manipulative to men. Obfuscate things in order to get them to behave in a specific way, to avoid their insights into you in order for them to avoid judging you. Is that OK for men to do that to you to manipulate their history or lie about their history in order to maintain a relationship? Is that a real relationship or an illusi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:56 PM
–

Whether it’s a majority or minority or most or some, all people are different people and can like what they want to like and do what they want to do without feeling obligated or as another poster above, said coerced into doing things that they don’t. And that doesn’t signal anything other than not being right for each other. And that is much more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:51 PM
–

I agree that that happens but I also believe these women when they say that wasn’t the case and that they were actively interested in participating in those sexual experiences they wanted to do with their boyfriends at the time and not with me. And in one of those cases, they made it very clear that it had to do with how they felt about this man versus how they felt about me. Again, they’re under no obligation to feel or do anything for anybody, including me, and like I said that means that we w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:47 PM
–

I didn’t push it. I didn’t use it as a hammer against them. I observed my feelings and started to acknowledge that maybe we just weren’t compatible with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:33 PM
–

I’m not a red pill at all, but I have experienced what I think you are outlining. In previous relationships, my former partners mentioned or talked about visiting sex clubs with their boyfriends at the time or having three ways with their boyfriends at the time. And when I voiced interest in possibly doing those things, I was absolutely shut down, and there was a very strange sort of feeling of prioritization being different from me that it was for these other men. I think the way I dealt with t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:09 PM
–

I agree, but for different reasons—it really has nothing to do with attention and more to do with self-ownership and reliance. The ability to say "no" to attention as a man is really nice. This goes for men AND women, though I think women are much better at saying no (many more options). The best most empowering thing I experienced since getting in shape is saying "No thank you" to a date request because I just didn't want to be in anything with that person. She got really offended, and that's n…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:59 PM
1

Kind of? I think of it sometimes as "men are under-par with women"—on par has that Lake Woebegone effect built a bit I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 03:54 PM
1

I disagree—everybody is pretty dumb overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 03:48 PM
0

Yes. Incubators. How very feminist of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:50 AM
-1

Then the person who decided to have that child as opposed to not having it can provide it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:17 AM
0

Again, I am not saying that bodily autonomy is not the high order. What I am saying is fathers should have the right to walk the fuck away
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:41 AM
-1

The choice is hers. So is the consequence of that choice (including financial obligations). Those two things travel together. You don't get to claim unilateral decisional authority and then distribute the obligations. OP is saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander. And I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:26 PM
-2

And we did. It’s called taxation without representation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:48 PM
3

And in most cases in the United States, that isn’t the case because of how consent works. Women who rape men can force their victims to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:00 PM
1

Unless that choice is made by only one person on behalf of the other without their consent? OP seems to be saying "wow, the reasons supporting bodily autonomy only seems to be applicable one way and is arbitrary here." I'm saying they should be universal. Someone has a choice based on X reasons. Another person should have those same choices of participating based on those reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:54 PM
-1

I don't think they are. I don't think any reasonable person would force an abortion or force some to NOT have an abortion (the people that do fucking suck). It's about forcing to pay someone without their active consent over something they have no agency in. OP is drawing the parallel between those two "choices"—one is a choice and one is a consequence of that choice. The reasons a person defends their choice to have a child uses the same suppositions that they deny the other party.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:49 PM
-3

I don't think the choice is about forcing another person's autonomy to be violated. I think it's about being forced to participate in someone else's choice over their bodily autonomy. It's setting up a situation where one person's bodily autonomy (a pregnant person's choice to not/have an abortion) is more important than another's bodily autonomy (being forced to work on behalf of that choice).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:46 PM
8

There's no problem in my life that marriage solves.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 09:43 PM
2

You are absolutely right. And sometimes the call is coming from inside your family.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 04:41 AM
3

Totally get it. But. There's a saying Leo McGarry says on The West Wing: "Act as if ye have faith and faith ye shall receive. Put another way: fake it till you make it."
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:27 PM
14

I think my ex did. What she does is her business. She could spend time shooting up and go with guys three at a time and I don’t care. I need to stay in my lane and save my sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:15 PM
5

Some folks want to be victims. It helps them escape accountability, perception, and scrutiny. File, lawyer up, and let her be herself. You don't need her in your head not paying rent.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 10:15 PM
–

It me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 04:33 AM
1

I completely agree with you, but that rarely happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 04:34 PM
4

Let me ask this. What are you doing for yourself to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be? If your best friend was going through what you're going through, how would you talk to him? Are you talking to yourself that way? What did you learn from your marriage? About love? About yourself? About your home? Home labor? About women? About boundaries? What did your separation teach you? Imagine you are healed. You are who want to be. What do you want that man to know about you ri…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:35 AM
1

So, did he get the house? Or is it more awkward than that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:52 PM
1

"Men" and "your husband" aren't the same thing. Just like "my exwife" and "women generally" aren't the same. Also, seriously, try communicating to him! Say "There are lots of ways to move through intimacy." I can't say you didn't marry an asshole, but having married and divorced one I know all women are different women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:41 PM
5

Oh we're playing Calvin Ball now. There are way more women blaming men for their shitty toxic behavior than take accountability at all for anything they've done. And the problem with men isn't their lack of accountability it's that they've been trained to fall on every grenade a woman throws instead of just walking away and then being blamed for not being accountable for a woman's shitty behavior ("How dare you not let me exploit you! Narcissist!"). And your positioning makes more Red Pills than…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:37 PM
3

12 guys on Reddit said it? It must mean every man everywhere feels that way. And they're all furries. And they're all into Ayahuasca ceremonies and crypto. EDIT: It's a bit like me saying "women here say it's appropriate to beat a man so I can say that women are all abusers."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:57 PM
1

Whether you believe it or not is your problem. But you can't turn around and shift blame on men on not communicating. Also, that you think "Men are quite capable, moreso than women, to fuck someone they dont give a single shit. They can think the woman is ugly, beneath him, wouldn’t bother to know her name, and.or couldn’t care if she dies in a fire the next" speaks more about your shit than a straw gender that you're setting up. You should also ask yourself "What other lanes have we communicate…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:46 PM
5

I can assist with the rumination. Or at least give you some advice about it. I also have terrible rumination. It requires you to recognize that you’re ruminating, which is often difficult. So when you get into those loops pause and notice what you your body is feeling first where you are at physically and what triggered you to put you into this mindset. For me who is usually on my long run runs when all I had was a low-grade suffering and to be in my own head sometimes it would be in traffic. Pu…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 06:16 AM
4

I think in absence of anything else, or when sex is viewed and treated like a commodity (I do good, so I deserve sex/you haven't pissed me off here's sex) it's very reasonable to slip into that. Sex can be a lot of things of different things to a variety of people: for me it was spiritual, play, sex itself, communication, intimacy, all of it. I would have traded quantity for curiosity and passion. But for her it wound up being "This is all there is. Take it or leave it." and when I left it that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 01:34 AM
-4

That's the difference: one is a problem of lack of clarity, the other is a problem of neglect. Like you said, intent. And I'm not entirely sure if one is worse than the other as both really suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 09:54 PM
8

I don't mean to judge your experience, but in my experience it isn't that they're worse than it's that they are less likely to admit accountability and more likely to obfuscate. This, as my theory (totally assailable) is because it's a learned behavior of feeling vulnerable (vulnerable=unsafe) and from benefitting from the obfuscation (and honestly a legitimate strategy). And this comes from an experience of learning to hold my own sovereignty in relationships and being accused of "narcissism" b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:58 PM
17

I think it's because women are really as bad as men at communicating. I think lots of men, if not most, see sex as the main, if not only time they feel desired. The only acceptable way to receive touch. The clearest signal they are wanted. And when men do communicate that, women resort to "Well, what about MY needs?" When women hear "I never receive sex" many women understand it to be "Your body is what you owe me", My (mens) needs matter more" and" emotional-only closeness isn't enough." And wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:59 PM
1

Even if my niece and nephew decided to not have kids, "family lines" aren't especially important to me. It sounds more like something important to my parents and their wanting to dictate how I reproduce isn't something I take into consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:37 PM
0

I agree overall. There’s one small (maybe semantic) point I’d clarify about whether something “feeds alt-right interests.” People are entitled to their beliefs, but others are equally entitled to their autonomy and sovereignty. In your comment, it sounded like you were suggesting that a woman shouldn’t do something because it might support an opposing worldview. I think women, like anyone else, should be free to make their own choices, even if others interpret those choices politically or "wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 08:07 PM
2

I often feel the same way you do. Then I think about Coach Beard’s line from Ted Lasso: “All people are different people.” So I had to figure out what I needed—what specific boundaries mattered to me—and I had to be ruthless about defending them. Above all, I had to communicate them clearly so the other person had a real choice: stay or leave. What I didn’t want was ambiguity or the unspoken hope of “Sure, I’ll fix him and he’ll change his mind.” The most empowering thing I did after my divorce—…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:42 PM
7

I agree with this. I think OP (and a lot of men) don’t understand that feminism isn’t a monolithic ideology. There are multiple feminisms. Like any multifaceted movement, there are both extreme and moderate positions within it. That said, I think something many women (and men) don’t recognize is that when people pick and choose aspects of different ideologies only when it benefits them, it can make their worldview feel incoherent. Relationships aren’t a chess game; they’re more like a shared dre…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:07 PM
3

FUck yeah, my guy. Embrace it! The load bearing meme for me was the "Not Great, Bob!" meme from Mad Men. My friends would ask how I was doing, meme sent. The other one that had deeper therapeutic medicine was this on insta: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_TW8uKu3Bd/?hl=en
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 05:46 PM
4

I get your POV, but my take was sort of the inverse of what you're saying: it wasn't that I actively wanted to be a parent. It was that having raised my siblings very much illustrated to me "This isn't for you." It's weird because with my brother's kids or like friends' kids I'm really good with them, know how to change a diaper, know how to entertain kids and when they say "Oh you'd be a great dad!" it's very much "NOPE!" **moonwalk out of the room**
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:35 PM
2

That ain’t no way to live. You doing therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:07 AM
19

I’ve been thinking about that question for the last hour, and I still don’t know. Probably not. I think that it would have been much more likely that I would have had children and been really unhappy with it. Glad things worked out the way that they did and I got snipped.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:56 AM
1

Bands are great! Add moving through horizontal space to that however you want to and you got a stew going.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:35 PM
61

Not a woman, but being a parent, but more especially a mom, straight-up sucks. I had to raise my younger siblings and opted to be child-free. Best decision I've ever made.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 10:40 PM
2

Jumping in here: you don't even need to be a fitness fanatic. Run/peloton/elliptical four or five times a week to your own level, do some strength training and core work, and/or yoga diligently and you're going to be 70% ahead of everyone, man or woman, so by the time you hit 50 or sixty you're going to be setting yourself up for long term success well into your 70s and 80s. Not a lot either!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:37 PM
2

Try virtual—it's better than nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 06:42 PM
3

Yeah, "fair" boundaries have a few characteristics: timeboxes are articulated, the boundary is about your safety not punishment. The violation isn't punitive but reinforces that safety is about removing you from the situation, not trying to change her behavior. Also, you are not responsible for her dysregulation nor escalating it. She is a grown up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 05:37 PM
1

I want to follow up. Test the waters. Next time she goes into dysregulation, don't soothe. Set a boundary. Say, "I am here when you calm down and I'm feeling that your behavior is unsafe so for my safety I'm giving you space for a few hours to give us both a chance to calm down. If you violate that, I'm leaving for the rest of the day."
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 05:11 PM
2

Bless your heart. On one of the tell tale signs of codependency is "I want to fix this unfixable thing." Or there's an expectation of miraculous behavior. An unrelated to you example is a man trying to help his brother leave his abusive wife. He can talk to him, he beg him, but it's impossible for him to actually get into the brother's head and make him make the realization. Eventually, it's up to the brother. But the brother still leans on the man for reliance and support. For most men, codepen…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 05:07 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/Codependency/
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 04:53 PM
3

My last girlfriend told me something that was probably the best advice I've ever received: she used it as a hammer but it absolutely floored me and encapsulated how I should think about relationships. "I would rather be single than be inconvenienced."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:59 PM
0

This is also rare, and I would be curious what his version of "I never told my husband" looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:50 PM
2

More like she felt that she didn't contribute anything. Her issue was, in retrospect, was that she wanted control—she wanted to have that noose always around my neck that I learned later was called "covert contracts"—nonconsentual quid pro quo. I clean, you comply. I cook, I control your labor and can send you over to friend's house or family's house to do labor without your input. That codependency that her friends had with their "compliant" husbands. Obviously no. Personally I also don't want …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:35 PM
0

I wanna meet you where you’re at. To be clear I never “had” a woman. Having implies that ownership and I’m not that kind of guy. And all of her friends were the exact same way and all of the women that I’ve dated since we got divorced are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:21 PM
4

I completely agree with you and the gentleman above who mentioned it was control technique. Toward the end of my marriage, I systemically went through all of her complaints and solved them objectively. For instance, she was using the fact that she did the grocery shopping and cooking as evidence or a cover their own shitty behavior (“ I cook and do the grocery shopping. It would be amazing if you did something around the house.”) so I separated our cooking. I cooked for me and she cooked for her…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 04:38 PM
1

That would be starting when? Give us a specific year from your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 07:53 PM
1

If you make your timelines variable you lose any sort of resolutions. The studies say that this is common from the seventies. Has it been increasing since last month? Last year? What are the fence posts?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 07:17 PM
1

"previously" meaning?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:44 PM
2

Being single/unpartnered is way up. In 2023, 42% of U.S. adults were not living with a spouse or romantic partner, which is historically high after decades of increase. Source: Pew Research Center https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/01/08/share-of-us-adults-living-without-a-romantic-partner-has-ticked-down-in-recent-years/ Living alone is much more common. About 29% of U.S. households are one-person households, up sharply since the 1970s. Source: U.S. Census Bureau https://www.census.go…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:38 PM
1

Queen. When we got our second house, we bought a super expensive bed. And at a certain point, she wanted to sleep without being touched so we ended up getting a super cheap IKEA King. When she moved out, I moved the expensive bed back into my room. It’s not for anybody else but me and if anybody shares my bed they kinda have to deal with that. I’m a pretty big guy too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 04:07 PM
8

Am a bit over two years divorced, three years separated. This is my best advice atm: be a freaking robot when it comes to her. No emotion, no nothing. Yes or no questions. No jokes, no warmth. Read The No Contact Rule by Natalie Lue. When she asks you something, tells you something, anything, wait 45 minutes before answering. If she asks again in that time, reset the clock. That's so that you don't respond with the emotional/reactive part of your brain. Don't fight for your marriage, don't be th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 10:04 PM
9

I agree with a lot of things—persue, record, and keep it in the chamber. She will eventually say "He's a narcissist! He cheated on me! He was abusive!" in order to jiujitsu out of accountability. That's why you have that in chamber. Not because you're going to fire, but to make sure that there are repercussions for lying. Then, she'll never say a damn thing ever.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:45 PM
10

I would urge you, in addition to all of the other great advice, to absolutely be a freaking robot when it comes to her. No emotion, no nothing. Yes or no questions. No jokes, no warmth. It will drive her bat shit. Or it won't be anything. And you'll have your dignity. Privately, you should come apart; therapy, healthy reading, go out (even by yourself). Enjoy the sunlight.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 12:07 AM
0

I didn’t say just sex. I said, affection, connection, and intimacy (including sex). How many times have you heard a woman say to a man “I don’t even wanna look at you” during a disagreement? That’s what I’m talking about. And honestly, this is why I am a black pill; why I disagreed with OP’s premise, but agreed on his conclusion. If behavior can be policed with a little punishment if someone doesn’t get their way, no matter the gender, I would rather the person go fuck themselves. I get pushed a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 09:30 PM
0

It is 100% abusive and 100% punishment. Purposefully lying and attempting to manipulate your partner and then withholding affection for them listening to you is 100% abusive, no matter who does it. A man who withholds affection and physical touch if his spouse doesn't do the home labor HE wants is abusive. And hiding that behind "I don't feel connected" is high level codependent manipulation. It's weaponizing connection. A woman who says "I shouldn't have to tell you what I want" and then withho…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 07:31 PM
2

"I don't want McDonalds" "ok, I didn't get you McDonalds" "why didn't you get me McDonalds?" **punishment** That's not a love language, that's emotional abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:55 PM
1

Respectfully, I disagree. I don’t think this experience is exclusive to men. Women go through it too. It isn’t really a “choice” at all. It’s a decision made by one partner and imposed on the other. In my marriage, we began with strong attraction, emotional closeness and genuine curiosity about each other. But in the final years my ex abruptly stopped engaging—physically and emotionally. She didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to work on it, and didn’t want to repair the relationship. One …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:52 PM
1

Yes, the primary way we feel connection, joy, play, pleasure, isn't used as a tool for manipulation by all genders. Literally EVERYONE has a story about how sex was used as punishment by a partner. Get in a fight because you didn't bring your spouse the fast food they said they didn't want? Congratulations, you get a little punishment called denial of connection. It's someone's birthday and they want to do something sexual that you don't want to? Congratulations, here's a guilt trip for the next…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:24 PM
3

Sure. Give everything that triggers you 30 minutes to an hour before you respond. Nothing needs to be emailed or texted back immediately. When you are in dysregulation, you respond with your emotional center and not with your logic center. Lots of people take advantage of that. My ex-wife taught me that because when she texted me, I would immediately text back, and then I wouldn’t hear anything from her for a day. I was like, “That is a really good strategy.” My brother, who’s having his own mar…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 04:09 PM
3

It will suck until one day you'll wake up and things will magically be 50% better. Give it time, space. Try to fill your time (reading, excercising, being in public). Learn to love being with yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 07:57 PM
1

My thing is "what's the exchange here? what is the duty you have to me or other men? I would like to know what I'm buying."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 04:38 PM
3

since* But yes, walk away and don't look back.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 05:22 PM
3

I partially agree with you, but every 20 year-old I’ve met, man or woman, have generally been dip shits.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:01 PM
2

That's my thing: "having" anyone aside from yourself is an illusion. In my experience, a story that women are told to them so much they think it's the truth and hypnotize men into harming themselves to sustain it. The best thing a man can tell anyone is "No." The second best is "I'm not doing that for you." After my divorce, I swore I would never share my finances with another person for the rest of my life because it would ALWAYS expose me to this asymmetry where I'd be responsible for a woman'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:39 AM
7

I agree with you except for I would replace power with sovereignty. Agency. Dominion over oneself and one’s actions and space. Power is something that’s projected onto the others and that’s dumb. Men should just be responsible for themselves and what their actions cost and that is all. What’s that lady say? Moisturize hydrate stay in your lane.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 06:00 PM
-4

“Don’t believe your eyes! Don’t believe your experience! I’m a soldier! You have no choice but to believe me!” 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:41 PM
-2

“You are creating an image that doesn’t exist.” This is LOADS of men’s experiences, and you get to be an example of what a woman dismissing a man’s emotional truth and reality looks like, sounds like, behaves like. Whether you acknowledge it or not, this was my life. This was my friends’ life and continues to be a lot of men’s lives. Any time a woman says “ just take care of it” or “this is the bare minimum” “I shouldn’t have to tell you what I want you should just know” your behavior is exactly…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:15 PM
4

I somehow was able to overcome a lot of that jealousy/'ownership' aspect that is part of monogamous relationships. I'm not really a jealous person and even wanted to open our marriage when my (then) wife abruptly changed how we physically relate, calling it a "me problem." The way I was able to learn to accept and let any jealousy go was by accepting that her happiness now involves other people and I deeply hope she finds happiness and love and anyone's happiness (people I'm seeing NOW, my ex-wi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 04:41 AM
15

Yes all men who don't engage in being taken advantage of are narcissists. Lots of great stories here about this and I would like to share mine and the best advice my therapist gave me about it. My exwife unloaded to my friends, family, etc. that I was emotionally abusive, financially abusive, and a toxic narcissist. I was emotionally abusive because I wanted her to engage with our problems and talk about her feelings and listen to mine and prioritize them with each other after our needs (both) d…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 08:36 PM
2

Yeah, I offered to go back to counseling after I said I wanted to end our marriage. Her response? Fuck no, boyo. No take backs. That was the greatest gift she ever gave me to be perfectly honest.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:15 PM
2

I stayed almost a year after I started hearing the Inception music (all of the signs that the marriage was over). I needed something inside to be done, but the moment it was, I didn't hesitate. And then I hesitated and got scared after I made the decision (the second worst mistake I made after marrying her at all).
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 08:43 PM
–

it's almost like how science is supposed to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:15 PM
0

Having worked in sex-positive sex stores with lots of female clientele: you are incorrect. If it is used for penetration, it is large by design and economics (they sell better to women). Edit: in my experience when women buy penetrating sex toys, they were 8in+. and not having a vibrating cock, hand, or mouth, that discounts anything in that arena as well. But I agree with you, everyone likes what they like, but OP is right: what men and women like now and have become accustomed ISN'T each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:02 AM
–

Not a red pill but I largely agree with except this: "But as soon as relationship minded women realize they should make sure the guy they’re dating is not a piece of shit before having sex with him [...]" What do you mean by that? Specifically. Because if it's posting the dudes private information on Facebook "to get tea" without their consent, you are trying to nonconsensually get laid. And people who do that are pieces of shit. Nothing entitles ANYONE to have sex. And if women can't have sex u…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 05:20 PM
11

It will happen again. If you go back, it will give her time to get HER ducks in a row and then she'll divorce you for the best of HER needs. Your situation seems cut and dry and you should get this done fast and you both can move on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:03 PM
–

I largely agree with you, especially your assertion that she can't be a 'sex kitten' anymore. But I think the result of that is shared. Most of the men and women I've known who decided to have children that ALSO have the problem you're outlining got there because they both decided, though maybe not consciously, that SHE is the expert in raising children. I have yet to meet folks in a relationship where they have this problem and guy is a good guy who steps in to co-parent and she subverts him "Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 07:45 PM
7

My divorce was finalized one year ago and it's been almost two years (within a few days?) since I last saw my ex-wife. There are days when I feel the absence keenly but mostly I experience it as anxiety for not having a "business" partner, not anything intimate, loving, kind—she just wasn't that kind of person and it's why I asked for the divorce. Unarguably, my life is much, much better now that it was during, but I also think getting married was a mistake and marrying her was absolutely a mist…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 06:18 PM
1

Then we shouldn’t date. EDIT Getting dealbreakers out in the open first thing saves everyone time. I won’t date someone who doesn’t believe in reproductive freedom (for EVERYONE), someone who doesn’t workout, someone who doesn’t believe in splitting the check, or someone who I believes I owe them anything because of “equity.” And if they have problems with that I’m sure they’d be glad to know that first thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:20 PM
2

Lots of folks here with questions on "vetting"—let's take it at face value: investigating with intent to discover. Dating is vetting: what do you do? How's the relationship with your friends? What are your thoughts on a woman's right to choose? Those are honestly straightforward and great for all parties. I can ask "How do you feel about fitness? Are you in therapy? Do you think that some rules apply only to men? Only to women?" Everyone has the right to get to know someone. And if the questions…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:30 PM
–

That’s rich coming from somebody who started from generalizing about how everyone is candid and honest at all times in all relationships. And the moment a man does do that women accuse men of DARVO. Ultimately, I just don’t think relationships are fucking worth the effort or the drama or the back-and-forth for men OR women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:48 PM
–

Again, that's not what happens. Candid conversations about pleasure really aren't expressed the way you're describing. When men have that conversation directly with their partner, he's "controlling her pleasure and inserting himself in her body" spam their partner, his friends' partners, her friends, the internet, anyone who listens. When women have that conversation, women spam their partner, his friends' partners, her friends, the internet, anyone who listens. So men don't have their conversat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:50 PM
4

Lots of good advice but I'd add begin self surveillance.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 08:38 PM
–

I would agree with this if every relationship started with absolute candor but relationships don't. They start with new relationship energy where there's lot of exploration and permissiveness (for everyone) because folks are understanding their partner. But OP's point is correct one year, two year, three years into relationship where men start hearing that their girlfriend is complaining that he's jerking off "all the time" and consuming "so much porn." There's already connective tissue and inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:29 PM
2

Did you get this opinion of yourself from her or her friends/family? You think this because you relied on her to give you an opinion of yourself. Narcisissts and monsters don't feel remorse when they're accused of being cold, calculating, etc. Victims of emotional abuse feel that way. Victims of codependency feel this way. A man who stands up and asserts boundaries is often accused of these things because they're centering themselves for the first time. And to takers in codependent dynamics, tha…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:45 PM
4

There's lots of good thoughts here and they are all because we appreciate you, sight unseen. Life is hard and we've all been in your position so use us for support. That's how we got through/are getting through our own thoughts. Phone numbers, and intervention aside, what you are experiencing is common and dangerous. My therapist told me something that reframed my thoughts (I have persistent su**ide ideation so this isn't new ground for me). She said that these thoughts AREN'T about actually doi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:22 PM
4

I agree with everything here except #8 (unless you are a Christian). If you aren't, I recommend The Untethered Soul, The No Contact Rule (in addition to #7 above), and what the hell, "Lunch at the Gotham Café" by Stephen King.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 12:51 AM
–

Absolutely not better, but important to point out (especially for OP) so they can identify how to best respond and process.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:10 PM
–

I respectfully disagree with you about her wanting to insult him. I suspect she was just being…dumb? Inconsiderate? If there is anything here, I feel like the intention is triangulation/coercive control (as mentioned elsewhere). But I suspect stupidity more than anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:05 PM
–

"Any red flags or tea?"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:59 PM
–

I agree. It's not a question of "it sucked and you're better" it's "I'm bringing this up to tell you at all." Unless OP and girlfriend are super young and cavalier about feelings, anything noted is noteworthy. Imagine if he had said "I love your size. I've been with super strong, slender women before and you're so much better."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:53 PM
7

Don’t forgive her. Try not to ruminate, but never forgive her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:12 PM
4

Women get upset if you don’t have feelings/dont want a relationship and they do. Women get upset if you do want a relationship/have feelings and they don’t. Women expect men to never be upset because that “endangers” women despite the fact that it is much more likely for women to be violent than men. I suspect women are just as incapable of handling emotions as they believe men are. What is that saying about accusing people of doing the things you are guilty of?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:38 PM
2

I’m sort of unsurprised that a mod didn’t really read the entry as it was originally posted deleted it but here it was. I barely care that much but there you go. Engagement. Yeah, don’t want to date anymore. Door closed. Don’t want to deal with women in personal aspects. It’s exhausting, takes too much time and money, and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Those ladies in S. Korea have it exactly correct about not dating (EDIT: the 4B movement). Life is so much better without having to deal with…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:15 AM
10

“This is a fringe opinion” Weekly sexual activity among U.S. adults fell from ~55% in 1990 to ~37% in 2024. (https://ifstudies.org/in-the-news/adults-are-having-less-sex-than-ever-with-gen-z-seeing-the-steepest-decline-study) Nearly half of U.S. adults say dating has gotten harder over the past decade. (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/) Julian, Kate. “Why Are Young People Having So Li…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 02:17 PM
2

Don’t forgive her. Don’t be kind. Talk to attorney, get the 100 yard stare. Therapy. Books. Etc.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:26 AM
–

Yeah, don’t want to date anymore. Door closed. Don’t want to deal with women in personal aspects. It’s exhausting, takes too much time and money, and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Those ladies in S. Korea have it exactly correct about not dating (EDIT: the 4B movement). Life is so much better without having to deal with abysmal behavior, impossible standards, double standards, top shelf hypocrisy, the absolutely terrible lying, covert abuse from an increasing majority of women, privacy viol…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 05:24 AM
5

I find myself in a similar situation. I’ve dated several people, and I’m currently seeing someone I’m very attracted to. However, she’s also dealing with the aftermath of her divorce, which is unfortunate, as neither of us has children. Sometimes, simply wanting to fill your days with joy isn’t enough. Sometimes, just being held in place is enough. Sometimes, “good” looks a lot like boring until you allow your nervous system to relax. I suspect your nervous system is still in fight or flight mod…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:08 AM
3

Influenced by other men? Absolutely. Role models teach young men lots of shitty (and wonderful) things But it’s women’s behavior directly to men that sets that influence.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 04:13 AM
7

I think this is the best example of what I said: patriarchy is terrible until there's equality in selective service. Then it's "I'm just a girl!" Another is sentencing gaps and criminal punishment; women consistently receive lighter sentences for the same crimes. To say nothing of parental responsibility vs parental rights. Is patriarchy wrong because it's WRONG, or is it wrong ONLY when women pay the cost?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 11:02 PM
5

I suspect we already know: convenience. I think one of the problems with a lot of contemporary feminism is that it attacks patriarchy (rightfully) until it benefits women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 08:59 PM
1

No men don't. Men don't institutionalize women's suffering by archiving, crowdsourcing, and publishing unfounded accusations about individiuals without consent or due process. Warning friends you know is not the same thing as creating permanent searchable dossiers on strangers on FUCKING FACEBOOK. I get women warning and talking to each other. I don't get defending unaccountable social punishment for having a shitty hurt ex-wife anonymously posting lies. And the liberation of all doesn't mean ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 08:40 PM
17

Because "figuring it out" only works when things are stable and mistakes are tolerated. As women well know. When those expectations shift constantly and errors are punished publicly, bullied privately, and cast out--there isn't any other option but paralysis. The difference is that dismissing it in men _isn't_ equality. It's a double standard. And women AREN'T inherently better at adapting (EDIT: ie the balancing act), grace is built into a system for women that isn't for men. And like Brene Bro…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 08:21 PM
23

Why do y’all need so much instruction? This ignores something that women talk about all the time; decision fatigue and invisible labor. Women live a life of hidden expectations and unwritten rules. But when men say the same thing after male roles were dismantled and changed without replacement, it's suddenly about instruction, entitlement, and incompetence. Men, rightly or wrongly, were given very clear scripts about their roles and expectations for generations LOTS of which were torn out (some …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 08:00 PM
3

I also wanted to say I didn’t consent to be vetted. I didn’t consent to have my photo posted. I didn’t consent to have my private information posted and when I mentioned it, they lied about it. If the roles were reversed, they would’ve filled out a police report.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 05:02 AM
1

Again, respect, but that’s not what happens in these groups. I’m sure that’s the cover, but that is not the core part of these groups. They are meant to be back channel communications between people that you date. A violation of your privacy. Any secrets, anything that one ex-girlfriend wants to tell another ex-girlfriend; the whole thing. Does it include information about abusers? absolutely. have a shitty relationship with your mother? It gets debated and put on blast on these groups. Just los…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:27 AM
1

I totally hear you and I totally understand and take what you’re saying with grace but having seen screenshots and walked through some of these groups, they one hundred percent just post photos of men they chat with online and say “spill the tea.” They use these groups to vet men and when some ex-wife or some exgirlfriend sees it they just slander them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:09 AM
1

I honestly wish that was the case, but that’s not what happens in those groups and I suspect we all know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 03:59 AM
4

I’m beginning to suspect and come up with a reason why men ghost. I’ve broken up with maybe six folks in the last year? I was practicing poly and caught a lot of them posting private information on those “ are we dating the same guy?” Facebook groups or social media when it wasn’t used for its purpose; mainly just to sync and “provide tea.” And every time I broke up and cited the specific reason (violating privacy, not disclosing or asking for consent to post private information, posting picture…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:15 PM
5

I’ll be honest, anything additional beyond “it’s a trap” requires you to do mental and emotional work to try and suss it out. I would urge you just to have boundaries: never going over there for social reasons, never spending a holiday with her, etc. Figure out what your boundaries are and stick to them. If you do that you never have to be in this situation again you just let the system/boundaries handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:02 AM
8

It’s a trap.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:55 AM
4

And this is exactly the distinction you keep collapsing. Listing standards isn’t an attack; framing them within a critique is. You didn’t just state preferences in your OP—you embedded them in an evaluative argument about men (low count, etc). Pointing out that framing isn’t blame, it’s analysis. At this point we’re just repeating that difference, so I’m leaving it there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:31 PM
4

This comes from your framing! You weren’t neutrally listing standards; you were judging them. Treating 50/50 bill splits (something many of us see as a feminist practice rooted in agency and equality) as part of a critique of (EDIT: men's standards) is a value judgment, not a neutral observation. That asymmetry is the entire point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:23 PM
1

Look, I think everyone has filters, and those filters are LEARNED THE HARD WAY. You may not fuck Republicans. I may not fuck someone who doesn't have lots of books. But I disagree that either of us listing our standards is an attack. And I don't think men deny having standards or boundaries or filters. I think they're very clear about them but the difference is that women hear that as an attack on all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:06 PM
4

See what I mean? I listed my boundaries, all of a sudden you think I'm attacking and being defensive somehow both at the same time. Women can want whatever they want even if it's asymmetric or unfair—I don't particularly care because I'm staying in my lane.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:59 PM
5

I think traditionally women have standards and men have boundaries and in my experience women HATE boundaries in men and hate when men assert those boundaries—I've been told these are "restrictions" but they're boundaries and I know the difference. For example I have a very clear boundary of never sharing finances ever again—I'm not responsible for where her dollar goes and she don't get to know or have a vote in mine but OH MY how this pisses off women after six months of dating. We don't have …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:43 PM
–

There was this thread in AIAJ a few days ago about a friend asking another friend to make her husband go over to do some labor for her while they watched (I think it was hang a tv). And the lady spouse said “no! I’m not responsible for him!” And the friend got pissed af and there were a bunch of folks calling her a jerk because sh wouldn’t volun-tell her husband to go do work for her. Like if a man says no, I’m not going to give you money for your car payment or I’m not going to stack this firew…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:32 PM
–

You draw a moral model: women’s harmful behavior is framed as situational and systemic (if you even address them), while men’s harmful behavior is framed as intrinsic—“because they’re men.” Structural constraints are emphasized when explaining women’s actions, but minimized or dismissed when discussing men. That’s a textbook fundamental attribution error applied selectively. If systemic inequality can shape women’s behavior, then it is then you can’t deny that systemic forces also shape men’s be…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:09 PM
–

I agree abuse and manipulation are never justified: whether that’s manipulation through coercion, purposefully misrepresenting someone publicly, or frankly lying. But your argument applies systemic explanations to women and dispositional blame to men—that’s a selective fundamental attribution error. You frame a false binary, take responsibility or be abusive, that erases ethical men who are still constrained. Accountability doesn’t require flattening an entire group or moralizing every bad outco…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 09:59 PM
6

We don't rise to our goals, we sink to our boundaries. I made some super terrible mistakes in my marriage and so did she. The difference is that I am accountable for my issues and her response was "SEE! HE DID EVERYTHING WRONG!" She is not under any obligation to be accountable and repair, and I am not under any obligation to accept a relationship like that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:30 PM
1

Looking at the spaces: probably not.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:40 PM
8

Yes. He wants to keep a wall between you and his kids. Having grown up with a mother who dated a lot, I wish she would have done this. There is nothing about his kids that you need to know right now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:37 PM
–

I'm always curious about labels: misogynist, BPD, narcissism, etc. and want to follow up with "what was the fundamental actions your ex husband/ex wife did that makes you feel this way? Did the therapist that you hired meet your former partner and make this diagnosis? Did you confront them with this diagnosis?" Because these labels are really to obscure blame and trigger folks into sympathy for their own poor behavior. I was absolutely guilty of this until my therapist pointed out that sometimes…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:06 PM
1

Ex wife had this mentality as well. I was basically the devil and I did everything wrong. A family member of hers said "Well, wait a minute, what did you do wrong? What did you contribute to the end of your marriage?" and she absolutely locked her out and hasn't spoken to her family member for like a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 08:51 PM
5

First, you are worth the work. You are worth the heartache. You don't deserve the unhappiness. Your kids can see it. All of the advice is great (lawyers) but therapy. Gym, for you. Find your happiness and joy. KNOW that the first six months are going to be terrible, but prioritize sleep, nutritious food. Toss the keys to the attorney. Document everything. Self surveillance.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 07:23 PM
3

It really depends on the topic! Some women, if they know they're toxic or they're obviously wrong but don't want to be accountable, will begin to argue about emotions. They'll provoke a response, and then argue emotions. Once you realize that, it becomes much easier to keep the discussion on the topic. When men do this, they blow up and leave. It also helps to remember that there are common cognitive errors men make and women make. The most common one women make is around fundamental attribution…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 11:22 PM
1

This is true. Sometimes as we heal, people who are unhealed around us begin to develop contempt. The biggest contempt vector for men from their spouse is 'how dare you have autonomy' or 'how dare you not let me exploit you' and even this (https://www.reddit.com/r/explainitpeter/comments/1pohvwk/explain\_it\_peter/). Bring in a third party. Be clear and stay in your lane. You are only responsible for yourself and your children (shared). You are not responsible for healing your spouse or in servin…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:05 PM
1

I think we all have really good insights, but the reason ISN'T WOMEN. Without a doubt, women didn't cause this, women don't perpetuate it, women shouldn't/can't solve it. This is on men as a group and as individuals to solve. BUT we need to defend men's spaces, REALLY examine and embrace our trans-men in those spaces (IMHO), and have the same level of emotional protection in those spaces that women have in women's spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 06:53 PM
9

I suspect part of this dynamic emerged when women began trying to reconcile very real, very violent, and very toxic structural and systemic inequalities by seeking one-on-one restitution from the men they loved. This approach appears in parts of a fractured fourth wave of feminism—often for understandable reasons, though not all feminist thinkers endorse it. I also think many women oppose patriarchy until it benefits them. For example, there is often open contempt for men’s loneliness, yet when …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 09:46 PM
2

Not tramp camp?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 04:35 PM
5

Disagree. You can have long term meaningful relationship, especially if you’re not having children, without being married. Most of the time, there isn’t a problem with a man’s life that is solved by getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:29 AM
2

This is going to happen. I'm sorry but she's either rehearsing her own exit or she's trying to use the threat of a divorce to get you to comply to do something. Probably both. And this is no way to live and when someone gives you an exit ramp, always take it. This feels like one of those times where marriage counseling isn't going to help you. First, therapy. Start emotionally rolling up the carpet. Keep this to yourself (don't talk to your family). Basically, roll in the antenna and stop telegr…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 07:56 PM
4

Travel. Don't be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:37 PM
8

She's violating the order. It's very clear. Why do you think that's not occurring?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 05:15 PM
17

You never have to do shit for anyone any time
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 04:54 AM
4

Damn. You're right.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 10:11 PM
7

Lots of fantastic advice ( u/streetsmartwallaby in particular). I would add to wait 20 minutes between texts. I noticed that I made double the amount of mistakes and regrets if I immediately responded rather than wait for my nervous system to subside. Women want that *snap* answer me *snap* because they want control and to put you in a position where if they can't argue with your feelings they can argue with your upset. They text you "well?" wait another 20 minutes. They show disrespect and trig…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 07:28 PM
11

Get therapy ready. Don't leave. Talk to attorney. Don't broadcast your intention until you're done. Have only one conversation and don't argue or make agreements. Keep your regrets to yourself. Be a stone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 07:12 PM
6

Travel. Even if it’s across town.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 10:26 PM
13

Hell yeah. Eyes on the prize.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 07:31 PM
5

You are experiencing normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. Your “strength moments” I think is your inner mind telling you slow down and get some perspective and sit with yourself for a minute. As others have said: triage. End your marriage as fast as you can. Close down the business as fast as you can. Get on the other side of this bullshit. Then take a fucking moment. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 04:50 AM
2

No
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:36 AM
2

I think your assessment about intent vs impact is spot on—it has to do with identify and accountability because if you don't believe HER intent, the IMPACT is YOUR FAULT. She has no control over what you "think of her" so she tries to control that—the phrase "I don't want you to think…" is a good canary phrase that I listen for in relationships because it usually means that they don't want you to believe something that is obvious. Good bad or indifferent, she has no control over your thoughts an…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 11:46 PM
2

Quick follow up: look for phrasing like "I need you to prioritize me!" and follow up with "Do you want me to prioritize you over my well-being?" If the answer is anything other than "No" I would urge you to think about one of the definitions of codependency: "an emotional and behavioral condition where an individual prioritizes another person's needs, feelings, and well-being over their own to an unhealthy degree."
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:49 PM
2

I think it's completely possible to renegotiate a marriage. Lots of folks do that. But it takes A LOT OF WORK and if you're exhausted (both of you) it's a terribly huge lift. The problem is that it needs to happen continuously all of the time. The one question I would ask your spouse is this: "Paint me a picture of what you want. Walk me through a perfect day. What does an emotionally regulated marriage look and feel like from your perspective? What is the goal here?" This is either a question t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:19 PM
2

I agree with the gaslighting. Next will come the accusations of narcissism. I would urge curiosity over anger: “I’m not sure what you mean by that. Can you explain? What’s narcissism? It sounds like you’re diagnosing me with something. And neither of us is a doctor.” KINDNESS AND CURIOSITY. I’m not sure if you’re crazy or not: what I do know is that neither of you are in a position to give the other an illness. Sometimes, people are just assholes. I’m sorry, I don’t recall from your original pos…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:48 PM
2

If you always lead and come from a kind place, from an understanding place, from a protective space it’s never a “narrative.” “I feel like he’s built a narrative in his head” means “he doesn’t understand, accept, and act on the narrative I want him or would prefer him to.” The telling thing, which is also reflected in your counselor’s question, is that she isn’t interested in hearing your perspective, your emotions, or even believing that your feelings are valid, even if you’re not asking her to…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 03:24 PM
5

I honestly think it's a lot of different circumstances, all of which tend to be framed as “perimenopause" and let's be honest: men put themselves in this situation or really feed into it. First, men don't have external support networks. What does this look like? As women began to spiral or change, men behave as they always have in that relationship (good or bad) in terms of being supportive or not. And then, at some point, men just have enough and hit the button, or women hit the button. How wou…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:04 PM
2

That your spiritual leader said "Wait until the new year" not "don't do it" is sort of telling. Honestly? Say to her: "I feel like I'm taking responsibility for hurts I've directly caused and I don't feel like that's reciprocated. Do you believe me and accept that even if you disagree? Here are times and places that I've felt that." She'll push back. She'll duck accountability. She may even provoke you into a different fight or insult you so that you fight about that. Don't take the bait. Say "M…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 06:31 PM
7

I don't think my ex was creative enough to get these from TikTok, I think she parroted them from her friends: "that's a you problem," "I didn't sign up for this", and like you said "bare minimum" or the one that drives me bat-shit: "you/he should just know what I want." The classic right now is when men show any backbone they get labeled as narcissists. I also think that women go through institutionalized bullshit (healthcare, economic) that should be treated with systemic change but there's jus…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:22 PM
2

Or pay it through a trust where he owns 66% and she owns the remainder.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 10:03 PM
1

Then something else is happening here—either he didn't listen to his attorney or there's another factor going on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:30 PM
5

Something I learned in my last round of dating folks: men reveal their incompatibility with women on the first date I suspect because they are generally worse at poker faces/masking. Women reveal their incompatibility after date four or around when sex starts to happen. Maybe it's because women's mask starts to slip and they think "oh, because I'm fucking him I can start to let in my attachment weirdsy/start to take advantage of this man."
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:28 PM
2

Postnup. And he's also dumb.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 05:48 PM
5

My heart goes out to you, but also I want to shine a light on you to serve as a warning to folks contemplating marriage or in terribly codependent relationships like you're outlining: don't give everything. If you're married: be responsible for clear communication, your side of the store and labor of the home, and show reciprocity—don't give more than your "home base" and certainly don't compromise your ethics and values. Honestly, don't share your feelings, it's absolutely not worth the vulnera…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 05:26 PM
8

Here's the crazy thing: it's not them that makes great sex. It's you and how you orient and align with them. Sometimes (ok lots of times) it's a chemistry that's grown over time. Sometimes you get it out of the box, but for the most part it's something you build. And when you are getting divorced, that first time out can be LOTS of things, but it will always be yours. Like others say here: hit the gym NOT because it's has attractive effects on you (it will and it does) but because it helps you g…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:05 PM
4

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 05:41 PM
1

It's not about the eggs, my friend—the eggs are a symptom.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 05:34 PM
1

Let's bracket this for a moment. Contempt in women makes small things big and big things impossible in the way that love and connection creates psychic x-men able to discern emotional states and lift cars off children. Contempt makes people monsters who abandon their oaths in the absence of love and affection. BUT. Contempt does something really weird with men. It highlights the exact issue. It illuminates the problem really clearly, outlines the solution, gives you the gumption to change it. In…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 04:29 PM
1

Love and trust? Absolutely. In its own sandbox.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 04:38 PM
1

It all fucking sucks. But part of patriarchy this isn't talked about or shined a light on, or priortized (what I called the dark part as it's in the shadows) is the times and places where patriarchy benefits women. The obligations of dying in wars. The obligations of centering spouses, of deprioritizing men's mental health, of belittling because it's not "maning" up. In OP's case, his labor of child rearing wasn't respected because he's a man. That's patriarchy in action as bullied by a woman. A…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 10:33 PM
13

This is the dark side of patriarchy—the expectation that men will "step up," and if they don’t, they're denied security. And you were a primary child carer, and that labor wasn't respected. If the roles were reversed, we'd know how that would go. Focus on getting right with your internal security, attunement, making connections that are important, loving yourself and your children, and the rest will come along. Honestly, and I hope you see it, you're going to be better off.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 09:50 PM
3

It would have been great, but our collaborative marriage failed so I didn't have high hopes for our collaborative divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 05:48 PM
7

I’m realizing in retrospect that perimenopause, and my ex-wife’s inability to navigate her emotions and emotional state coupled with my trauma response equaled divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:52 PM
5

First, don't ignore those letters. Hire a lawyer. Toss the keys to them and do what they tell you. It's not going away. It's not going to get better. It's absolutely going to change. As far as her and her mental well-being watch this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_TW8uKu3Bd/?hl=en Brother, it doesn't matter. She's ocean shit. She's fish business. Has nothing to do with you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 05:19 PM
14

My friend, I hope you can save this because I don’t know if you’re gonna hear it now but I hope you hear it later. The feeling that you’re feeling of anger has nothing to do with your terrible soon to be ex-wife. What happened to you was horrible and your anger is justified but your rage is something else. Your rage was implanted and taught to you far before you met your terrible ex-wife. Your ex-wife is merely awakening and hitting it very square away, where you are the most sensitive. Therapy,…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 03:44 AM
4

I had similar experience—I got in shape and her friends kept telling me that I needed to get fat again because it was making her feel bad about herself. Literally "set yourself on fire because she's cold and doesn't want to put on a coat."
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:47 PM
2

You are posting in a divorce sub, so I suppose you're entertaining divorce. Are you going to a marriage counselor? The only thing you can reasonably control is yourself and your actions. Towards the end of my marriage, my ex-wife ballooned while I got really active and in shape—we definitely had issues and I'm glad we are divorced, but up until the last conversation she was IMMENSELY attractive. She still is, despite our mutual loathing. Some things I recommend—go to a doctor and get your hormon…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:38 PM
9

If she's doing it through attorneys, there is some bullshit at play (appearances with her family/friends? financial? health related?). And you should trust your instincts! She is in all likelihood setting up to get a better deal in a few years (out of context arguments, protection orders, etc) OR she's having terrible separation panic but that's her business, not yours. Be a rock.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:42 PM
1

Big. Agree.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:26 AM
3

Ask her what her definition of being a narcissist is and how does that fit your behavior?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 11:05 PM
7

That reminds me of a poster that said “the most common element in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.”
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 07:16 PM
18

My therapist had a great insight into this. First, like other folks here are mentioning it’s a TikTok in trend thing. People used to be focused on borderline personality, before that it was some other diagnosis like schizophrenia. Second, it’s easier to make your enemy into an impersonal mad man than it is to give context or shared accountability. Honestly, it boils down to just simple ableism. “ he’s a narcissist” “ I’m a victim of his narcissism” etc. Is easier to explain to your parents why y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 07:14 PM
21

We stopped having sex before our separation, so why would we have sex after?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 04:32 PM
3

Go to a wine bar in a swanky part of town with a book.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 01:17 AM
7

James Sexton (who unfortunately has kinda turned hard right and has become not my cup of tea) has a great saying I’ll paraphrase: what is problem with your life where marriage is the solution and why? To be clear, there are very clear reasons why marriage is fantastic, but, like Sexton says, every marriage ends. Marriage clearly benefits one gender over another, divorce even more. Men need to learn how to fulfill their own needs, build homes that are inviting, avoid entrapment, and I deeply DEEP…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 01:15 AM
17

I think that there are quite a few sons of bitches out there. Men that really are beyond rehabilitation and really ought to not be married—it doesn't mean that they should be ostracized, it just means that their traumas are so deep that their attachments are permanently fucked. Probably more men than you think and probably in ways that are quiet, not loud, hidden, and maybe aligned with a pretty toxic culture. There is nothing about women that makes them immune to this terrible attachment. The d…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:08 PM
6

They know. But the alternative is being accountable for creating a shitty daughter and guess how that happened.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:39 AM
3

Why not? Lawyer up and please _follow their advice _.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 04:44 PM
6

Did not change her name but her company in my phone is “Twats Unlimited, LLC.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 03:08 AM
7

I have long thought that a man who stands up for himself and his sovereignty appears as narcissistic to an avoidant woman who despises patriarchy until it benefits her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 07:51 PM
12

“I want a divorce.” “People in Hell want ice water.” Out of curiosity, did she actually say that you were supposed to pack up your truck and leave? Blitzkrieg. File. Pack her shit. Separate finances. Move her stuff to the living room. Self-surveil. Document. Don’t leave. Medication and check your anger do not fall into her trap or traps. You are a monk. You are Neo at the end of the matrix: just watch the fists fly past you. Something that women do when they are in a situation where they’re goin…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 04:22 PM
10

For me, I don’t think social media ended my marriage, but it definitely informed its dialogue.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 04:05 AM
1

25k is ok. Therapy, read books, gym. Be around people, even if you don't socialize.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 07:43 PM
10

"How dare you not let me exploit you!"
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 08:35 PM
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