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BeerNinjaEsq Archive

View 1 post and 237 comments by BeerNinjaEsq on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

This is so confusing. Are these men saying they (and most men) like and are attracted to all women/ most women? I'm so confused? Aren't most men kinda picky? I'm picky as fuck when it comes to women.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/26 04:49 PM
5

Getting cheated on has so much more to do with the person you choose than the person you are. But, of course, the person you are dictates the amount and quality of your opportunities and options
/r/ExRedPill24/03/26 07:16 PM
1

This is a great answer, and it's a great model for going through life
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 06:21 PM
3

I mean, this is semantics. But either way, I find that it's not the worst thing to have to "sell yourself." I approached dating like I did job interviews. Sometimes you gotta convince the interviewer why you're better than the competition. The only difference is, unlike most job interviews, the woman is simultaneously interviewing with you
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 08:14 PM
5

if you need to convince someone to give you a chance, they’re not a person worth being in a relationship with I don't think that's true. Some women (and men, too) are really guarded. Or they have other priorities. Or any number of things. My wife wasn't sure she wanted a relationship when we first got together because she wanted to focus on law school (she was in her first year, and just ended a multi-year relationship about a month before we met). Basically, I had to "convince" her that there's…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 02:42 PM
10

You're a good writer
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:10 AM
1

Any guy? No. Unfortunate reality. But maybe 95% of guys without a disability can - and it might require testosterone or other medication/hormones. And if you start off extremely overweight, the weightloss can cause skin folds the can only be removed with surgery. But outside of what i mentioned above, yeah i think the large majority of men can
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:05 AM
1

lol. I will say that I think modern fitness, science, make-up, and other things has helped people stay hot longer and possibly give them the chance to peak in their 30s if they started behind the pack when they were younger (because there are things you can do once you have more money). But that might be personal bias. I think I peaked in my 30s, mostly because I figured out the best hair and fashion for myself, and bulked up. I think my wife also got more attractive in her 30s, because she coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:53 PM
3

All right, your post sent me down a research rabbit hole, and I've spent about 30 minutes going through peer reviewed studies on the topic. I know this may come off as nitpicking, but from what I can find, all the research indicates that the men across all age groups showed a consistent attraction to women in their mid-20s, not 18. Teenage boys, for instance, demonstrated a preference for women older than them (mid-20s) rather than their same age, as might be expected. Based on the study, someti…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:59 PM
6

As someone who identifies with neither the left nor the right, I think it's the biggest cancer that plagues BOTH sides
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 08:32 PM
5

I'm actually amazed (awe-inspired) by your ability to act like you are answering my question without actually answering my question. You literally quoted my question and posted a statement underneath like you were answering my question, without addressing what I asked at all. Guessing because you enjoyed the privilege of representation whilst being unware of HBCUs? I don't understand what this has to do with me at all. Again, I am talking about a real person, WHO IS NOT ME, who had trouble findi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 05:52 PM
39

This is a problem with pretty much every "identity" group - whether it's republicans or democrats, or racial identities, or police officers, or doctors, or anything else. It's essentially why I hate identity politics and find labels often do more harm than good
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 05:18 PM
6

Why are you arguing with me like this isn't a real person's lived experience? I'm not dating black men. I have no idea how hard it is to find single, attractive, Christian black man with a master's degree in the Northeast willing to wait until marriage, but i suspect it's not that easy. All i know is that SHE had a hard time finding someone who met her standards. Maybe she could have spent more time dating? Who knows. I'm not her. As for location? She was pretty much in school from 18-32, so Phi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:45 PM
7

I think the Christian, waiting for marriage in America is going to be a bigger hindrance in this day and age
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:38 PM
12

I don't think that's a fair or kind comment. Some people have very specific, and possibly difficult to achieve, standards. At the end of the day, we should all be entitled to our desires, as long as they don't hurt anyone, and we don't bother or offend others for not meeting our standards. I'll use this example: my wife's best friend was an attractive black woman (former cheerleader) with multiple ivy league degrees (I'm talking Harvard and UPenn) and a doctorate degree. Smart, passionate, but a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 02:26 PM
2

I think about dating in terms of economics and commodities a lot. One analogy I've been kicking around is that some men make arguments similar to people working in declining industries (coal mining for example), who refuse to adapt to the current market by learning a new trade. Instead, they are looking for solutions that are more similar to a bail out.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:34 PM
5

I think that this is something that would improve everyone, actually - directly like you said, then indirectly. One of the things I see when I talk to successful single women in their 30s is: they aren't saying they don't want a man. They are saying they won't settle for a man who doesn't meet their standards. I think if more men did what you said: and focused on self-improvement for the sake of being well-rounded, healthy, and interesting individuals, then more men would actually be able to fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 03:44 PM
1

I guess some people just wanna complain? Or, the reality isn't that they want to change the system, but it's just the complainers disatisfied with their own place in the system
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:31 PM
2

Lies? https://time.com/3846289/boomers-generations-millennials-sex-sex-trends-sexual-partners/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27480753/ https://apnews.com/article/teen-sex-survey-high-school-3d45d0441f531d1da9f5b44373becee4 And https://www.newsweek.com/number-virgins-america-hits-record-high-2022266
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:54 AM
1

I think i understand. But i guess that wasn't my experience. I have dated women i slept with the first night i met them or very soon thereafter. I find sexual attraction can happen with few looks across the room when the chemistry just clicks
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:01 AM
1

If the mind control thing were real though, what is your utopia
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:56 AM
2

In that case, i think the MINIMUM is sexual attraction. I wouldn't have married someone only because i was attracted to her, but several of my relationships before i met my wife were basically only driven by attraction. Especially in high school and college, i knew i wasn't marrying these girls. I'd go so far as to say that I stayed longer than i should have with women i knew i was incompatible with because of the sexual attraction Now, for marriage, i agree compatibility is essential
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:42 AM
2

I couldn't agree more
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:15 AM
0

I tried to make a post on what effect banning porn would have, but the mods wouldn't post it. I think it's very relevant
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:14 AM
2

Depends on how you define couple up. Does that just mean marriage, or does it include dating
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:11 AM
2

To be objective, that's just one metric. Statistically, Americans, particularly Millennials and Gen Z, are having sex less frequently, with fewer partners, and losing their virginity later than previous generations
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:08 AM
3

That’s what you want? Or that’s what you think it currently is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 11:09 PM
2

This was an episode of r/Sliders https://sliders.fandom.com/wiki/Love_Gods
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:07 PM
4

"women's tactics?" Lol. Ironic because the comment i was responding to was a man using shame to shame women who dressed in a way he considered "vain, vapid posturing." But that's okay, i guess
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 07:59 PM
1

Sure, for some. But some people look frumpy or don't really have an eye for what they wear at all. Here's another example. Hard to post when Reddit only allows one picture in comments <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 07:55 PM
1

They whine more then my five year old. I don't even think there's a goal anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 06:02 PM
3

As i said, i don't think OPs post is a good reflection of business attire, but i don't have an issue with "office siren." This is more along the lines of what I think walks #OfficeSiren line <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 05:47 PM
8

I believe that's not true and represents an unfair definition of what red pill is. And this is coming from someone who doesn't even like the idea of red pill. I think, in it's truest form, red pill offers a framework to maximize self worth and maximize ability/technique/approach/mindset to attract women. What women you choose, or what you choose to do with women from there is up to you. I'm a purple pill because i find red pill techniques optimized my ability to attract women, but my values in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 05:10 PM
1

good luck in law school. I will say that how you dress will depend a lot on what court you’re in, what state you’re in, and whether or not you’re in front of a jury that day, just the judge, or just judge and clients. I’ve definitely found that the older the attorney, the less the dress code matters to them, too. There’s definitely an 80 something year-old criminal attorney practicing in New Jersey who regularly just wears blue jeans and a suit from the waist up. He’s too old for anyone to call …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:42 PM
0

The outfit in OPs post isn’t actually a great example of attractive business attire (can't show your midriff), but let’s use an example that is. Even if this were the case, why are people judging women who choose to look attractive in the office? My wife is attractive, and she works in a professional setting, and she dresses like this, and I love it. I’m proud of her. I'm proud to be with her. And i try to dress as the male equivalent. If you look good, why not LOOK GOOD. My wife would absolutel…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:44 PM
-10

This feels like an insecure man take. I'm happy my wife looks hot everyday. I'm proud as hell that my wife was known by court security as the hot prosecutor. Now, i will say, the outfit in OPs post isn’t actually a great example of attractive business attire (can't show your midriff), but let’s use an easy example: My wife would absolutely just wear a tight dress or something like this, with a black blazer or complimentary blazer, for court. <image> And i try to dress the same, always on my A ga…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:20 PM
3

Very common in rich communities - minus the actual cooking and cleaning. Everyone I know hires cleaners. Most people aren't at the in-home chef level, since it's easier to just eat out
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 03:38 PM
2

Well, I think that there are many cultural and social factors at play here, but it's great to see Asian men like Steven Yeun portrayed in masculine roles. I think the biggest influence on what we think is hot or not is mainstream media
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 10:20 PM
1

Actually, i think it's fascinating that 4% of interracial marriages in America are Asian male white female (AMWF), while 11% are white male Asian female (WMAF). Since interracial marriages are 17% of the total, that means only .68% of American marriages are AMWF. Simultaneously, only less than 4% of American marriages involve a taller wife, shorter husband. Since I'm in an AMWF marriage with a taller wife, it makes our particular pairing extremely rare. I find this particular fascinating for obv…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:47 PM
2

good question. I’ll have to think about it and get back to you. I’m on the road now and don’t have time to reddit
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:11 PM
1

For most women, this is a preference. Whether it is a hard rule or not? That depends much more on the woman. I've found that the taller the woman, the less of a hard rule this is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:56 PM
1

I agree with you 100%: "those standards are so low he should be doing them for himself, not for a woman" ; "Fat lazy and broke is no way to go through life, son." ; "As a straight guy...I wouldn't want to be friends with or hire someone like that either." I literally say that last part all the time. I wouldn't even be friends with some of these guys who are out there thinking they are worth dating. But, those guys still exist and are on the dating apps. I know this because my sister in law is si…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:25 PM
1

Respectfully, i disagree. I do think any self-respecting man needs to meet some version of minimum standards (without elaborating on what those may be) before he can be a viable candidate for short or longterm dating. It's not about appealing to broad swaths of women, so much as having enough to reasonably appeal to ANY women Yes, "developing a few close friends, embracing his introverted nature, picking up one extroverted hobby that puts him in social settings, and delving into alternative subc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:06 PM
1

Pretty much the only reason I'm in this sub is because I'm fascinated by statistics and data around relationships. I acknowledged that the data linked about is preferences, not actual minimums, but that doesn't make it irrelevant. You can definitely infer meaning from data like this. For instance, (1) if the data says the average preferred height is 5'11", that might suggest you need to work that much harder in other areas to compensate if you are shorter than 5'11"; or (2) it could mean that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:35 PM
6

"Religious left-leaning moderate" is quite the specific descriptor. But no judgment here. I always support someone who knows what they want
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:10 PM
3

I would generally agree with you, but some of these things are interesting to study statistically. Take this question: "what is the minimum height of a man that you (a woman) would be willing to date?" This is a question that has been studied, and it's interesting to know, even if it doesn't apply to all women. I say this as a short man (5'6") who married a taller wife (5'9"). I still find the answers interesting. Here's some relevant studies: 48.9 percent -- wanted to date only men taller than …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:08 PM
1

Yeah, i think he would not consider himself someone with options. Like never an attractive guy with women. I don't remember him having very many options at all and he basically just kept getting more and more degrees, ending up graduating from an Ivy business program and getting a good job. Anyway, i don't actually see a problem with single moms. Given the option, I'd rather be with a more attractive single mom than less attractive non-mom, too
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 12:40 AM
4

My short, unattractive, but financially successful cousin married a hot, single mom. They had another two kids together and have been together for probably 15ish years. They seem happy I think these things can be good or bad, like anything else
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 11:16 PM
1

100%. I'm fine with not being attractive enough to appeal to all women. If i was, I'd be a Ralph Lauren model. But i don't need that. I just need to be attractive enough to get attention from one girl in a class of 20 people, or interesting enough to hold the attention of one girl I'm waiting in line for drinks with at a party. Just be a decently sized fish in a given small pond, with the advantage of getting to choose your pond
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 09:42 PM
1

100%. This is just like my skiing story. You totally get it. My wife and i met in law school so we already had a commonality of profession and bonded over studying; but discovering and growing into more shared interests is what really brought us together
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 09:38 PM
2

Ha thank you. I feel incredibly lucky
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:57 PM
2

Also, introducing people to things you are passionate about can often help strengthen an initial bond, because you can act as a guide for her into your world. It obviously depends on your interests. I'm not in your shoes, but I'll give you an example from my life. My wife never skied before meeting me in law school. I loved skiing. I was 25, and she was 23 at the time we met, and I had been skiing for about 6 years. So, shortly after we started dating, i asked my wife if she would be interested …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:45 PM
1

I think the secret is to figure out how to maximize your chances. Like, you don't just date randomly online and ask every girl if they are into nature. Instead, you go to "nature club" or "hiking club" or apply for an internship at a national park, etc, etc. And then you use that as a way to meet peopl
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:36 PM
1

Real question: have you tried to find a partner who can share in and enjoy those things you mentioned with you and compliments you in your life? I don't want to take anything away from your self-discovery. I think there is a good message in your post. It seems you've found what really makes you happy ("my major, exercising in nature, and having a halfway-decent social outlet") and that's amazing. I feel like the next step is to take what you've learned about yourself, and use that to meet someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:31 PM
2

I'm a man, and I think you need to touch grass. The first response I read from you to support your views is there "are millions of women on tiktok who make this content and upvote it." Bruh. Have you ever dated a real woman? Have you ever gone out and met women at bars and parties? I'm guessing not. I'm guessing not even a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:44 PM
7

I think homebody vs workaholic fits some of what you already wrote. I literally mean resources (whether it's income or trust fund) versus spending habits. Also, frugality vs lavishness. If one person hates work but loves spending money, and the other makes millions and loves spoiling their partner, that's still compatible. But one person who feels like they make all the money and feels the other barely contributes is going to grow resentful. Or when one partner believes the other is too frugal a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:29 PM
15

I break the categories down a little differently, but i mostly agree, EXCEPT the one I think that needs a specific distinction is “Financial compatibility.” Doesn’t necessarily mean equal, just that the approaches to spending and resources need to be compatible. Arguing about finances is one of the top reasons couples divorce It's too important to just include under world view or daily life
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 03:32 PM
4

I think that's alluded to above. I break the categories down a little differently, but the one I think that needs a specific distinction is "Financial compatibility." Doesn't necessarily mean equal, just that the approaches to spending and resources need to be compatible. Arguing about finances is one of the top reasons couples divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 03:30 PM
2

Ha. Come on! That text was so laughably bad! It was the fedora hats of seduction texts. Jesus Christ
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 12:01 PM
2

I don't think 2 necessarily needs to be a "set up" or "offering of single friends" situation. This is why every friends group needs a facilitator, who throws parties or sets up gatherings. Then, you just need to go to the gathering, and talk to people who were invited that you don't know. Alternatively, you could get lucky and be the person who tagged along with someone in the friends group. I started throwing parties when i was 17, followed by sponsoring networking and other similar events, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:57 PM
2

I agree. Grad school is such a great place to meet your husband or wife. I know so many professionals who met their SO in grad school
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:52 PM
2

I think i learned it at an early age thanks to organized sports. Unfortunately, not everyone does sports or team competitive endeavors. But they would probably benefit a great many people. I'm 38. My best friend is someone i met playing soccer with at 11. Every single guy in the group I'm still friends with from high school played a sport with at least one other guy in the group
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 11:28 AM
–

In thinking about it, i agree. I think this is a big part
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 11:26 AM
–

I have very young daughters (5&7) but i have 4 nieces between 14 and 21. I've noticed that girls in this generation are less boy crazy than when i was growing up. Why do you think that is? When i was growing up, i had my first girlfriend at 13 but i think girls and boys were crushing and dating starting at 11-12. Now, my nieces had boyfriends in senior year of high school but not earlier. I do think there's been a shift
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:22 AM
-1

Because many people are illogical and unreasonable. Not just men. Take a look at the world. Seems like a catch 22, no? Hypocrites exist in many, many facets of life. If it's a Catch-22, it's an easily avoidable one, because these men are self-identifying. I've learned to (try my best to) leave people I don't understand and agree with mostly alone. It's not a Catch-22 if you can easily avoid both the rock AND the hard place by turning around. Remember, Yossarian couldn't quit. He was trapped with…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:08 PM
–

I have a high libido, but I don’t think you’re wrong for having a low libido. At the end of the day, we should really just try and find people who are sexually compatible. It’s one of my main five pillars for a successful relationship. How do men feel about sex? We’re not a monolith. It looks like you’re in the dead bedroom sub, so you know that there are some relationships where the man feels like you do and there are some where the woman feels like you do. And there are successful relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:19 PM
3

I largely agree with you. The only thing I disagree with is your last paragraph. Some men, whether by intent or luck, do have good male support networks. If you don’t have one, one of the best first steps you can take is to find a good male support network
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 09:27 PM
12

completely true. Unfortunately, men are also made to feel embarrassed when they don’t just understand it innately. A system with a better feedback loop would be so helpful. I have actually had many long conversations with my wife about why it is that we put so much value in the education system to teach our kids about so many things, but it doesn't teach them about dating, how to pick and find good romantic partners, or even how to be good, romantic partners. Ultimately, we assume it falls upon …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 09:22 PM
5

yeah, I'm just having a conversation and clarifying my opinion. I have no reason to doubt what you're saying, but I'm amazed that's your experience. I have a lot of doctors and people in the medical field in my family and my wife's family, and I've heard lots of stories of doctors sleeping with the nurses from reliable sources. Separately, there have been studies on the subject. Here are some that suggest it's an important factor (not saying its more important than looks): Study: Townsend & Levy…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:26 PM
4

From a personality standpoint, I'm naturally generous. When I was younger, i was fat and got bullied for it. I am also Asian, and I have gotten some terrible comments from girls and women simply because I am Asian and trying to date them. I'll leave it to your imagination, but I'll say I'll never forget the girl who slapped me in the face when i was in high school because I was Asian. A lot of guys withdraw inward in the face of this kind of thing. I hit the gym, worked on my game, read "The Gam…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:16 PM
5

I'm 38 and married, so I'm really in this sub because I like the subject matter. But I do feel that we (as a society) need to figure out a way to help a lot of guys who are feeling lost and hopeless. I'd like to believe it's not too late for you, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:03 PM
4

So, I guess I was unclear. I don't mean that a completely average 5 can become an 8 by working out. I meant that there are a lot of 4 and 5s out there who are only that score because they are fat and take terrible care of themselves (their actual average is one point higher, so they can make a 2-point swing by losing the weight and geting fit). I don't know what percentage of men this is. I also start my male model score around 9. I include 10s on my scale, although I know some people don't thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:00 PM
6

It's very possible you are too late on this now. I simply don't know. But a lot of men who read this sub are not too late. And there are, anecdotally, plenty of men who do date for the first time in their 30s and marry their first girlfriend. I have no stats on the matter, and I'm sure its not a large percentage. But, personally, I'm the kind of person who always thinks there's a solution and always tries to find a way. Some people get to this stage in their lives and hire dating coaches. Maybe …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:20 PM
5

Absolutely, I recognize that. I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful when I say, I think you went about trying to gain experience wrong. And I think it's a big problem that no one is giving men any guidance. We need better male mentors. Think of it this way. I'm an MMA coach. Imagine I took a beginner and threw him in the ring to fight. I let him get beat up. Then I said learn from your mistakes. That would SUCK. And he'd probably never learn. He wouldn't even be able to understand what he d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:17 PM
5

Okay, but that's sunken costs fallacy. if you think it's too late, then it really is too late. Do I have an advantage cause I started working on these skills in my teens? Of course. But that doesn't mean you can't at any time. I didn't become a runner until my late 20s. Now I'm a great runner. My wife didn't start skiing until her 20s. Now she's a great skier. You just gotta be a beginner sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:01 PM
7

So, you've recognized there are things you can change that affect attractiveness. If you acknowledge that, I'm surprised you would say that "The end point is that things that make you attractive are genetic and out of your control." I would argue that, most people, are genetically somewhere in the middle for attractiveness, and the distribution is much more of a bell-curve than a linear progression. If that is true, then physical fitness should be the biggest dependent variable you can affect. P…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 05:58 PM
7

Confidence—especially the kind you are referring to in the context of dating—is absolutely something you can build. But here’s the key: confidence isn’t the skill itself. It’s something you develop as you get better at a particular skill or in a specific setting. Think about it like this: when you try something new—a sport, a hobby, anything—you probably don’t feel super sure of yourself at first. That’s normal. But as you practice, improve, and start to get the hang of it, confidence naturally …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 05:39 PM
–

Have you ever donated to a cause that absolutely does not affect you? Earthquakes or hunger or cancer or AIDS? Supporting feminism as a man is just like that
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 08:03 PM
–

Buddy. You lose credibility if you only present one half of the argument. I'm not disagreeing with you, but you need to present an objective picture and then make a comparison and draw a conclusion. Right now, you're just picking and choosing
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 11:05 PM
3

Agreed. And if it's not for you, it might be worth also reassessing your goals. Like you can't set your sights on keeping up with the Joneses or having or achieving mainstream concepts of success. Your actions in life need to align with your internal values as well as your idea of success, happiness, and what is "enough."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 09:37 PM
2

I can't decide if i agree or disagree with your position, so I'll just state a few more of my thoughts on the issue. Some people very much owe their success to the grind. I don't think it makes it not "grindset." Like, have you met people who are proud of the fact that they only sleep 4 hours, that they measure everything they eat, or that they are at the office 14 hours a day? When i was marathon training, i didn't enjoy running 60 miles a week. It was FUCKING HARD. I really had to convince mys…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 09:25 PM
1

All i can do is respond with something anecdotal, but I am a living example of someone happily living the grindset. Now, there's probably some truth in what you are saying because you could easily argue that the "grindset" is what "truly aligns" with who I am and my core values. Maybe that's just my personality type. I have no way to prove or disprove what is my nature vs my nurture, and I don't know if others can learn to love living this way if they don't already. I'm not alone in this: my wif…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:33 PM
–

I dunno, but I'm 5'6" and my wife is 5'9". I've been in relationships with girls at 5'11" and even 6"0, and also had multiple ONS that are taller than me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:09 PM
2

Effort is a thing. Personality is a thing. Chemistry is a thing. None of these is a substitute for another
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:19 AM
1

I've thought about this a bit more and i think a "good man" might not be a subset of high value but there's still a decent overlap, because you can't be a good man without having a lot of qualities that will put you in the high value group: i think you can't be a good man without being a hard worker who doesn't mind making sacrifices. You can't be a good man without making a decent salary that allows you to take care of yourself and your family comfortably. You can't be a "good man" if you are w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 02:50 AM
3

It's not that hard to recognize when a woman is genuinely interested in you Right? That was my first takeaway from this. If you can't tell, you've got other things to work on. Or, if you're seriously in a financial position where women are actively faking their interest in you to get at your resources... then you're in a small enough percentage of people that i doubt anyone on here can really offer much relevant advice. Or you're targeting women who are way beneath you financially, and you're th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 05:30 PM
2

That's the problem with vague or imprecise terms like "good." You and I may conjure different images when we hear these terms, and that's fine. That's why it's important to be specific. When I think of top 10%-20% or high value, I'm really just thinking of the traditional 6-6-6, good-looking, tall, financially stable, and I’ll even throw in social. “Good men” are the good-natured subset of the high-value men. You can be a man with high SMV, but also be a playboy or abusive or a predator. I would…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 11:43 AM
6

so, a few things. I’m not sure you’re using correlation correctly. That said, I think the point of the phrase "good men get snatched up quickly" is more for the women in the audience to recognize that they need to move quickly if they have the opportunity with a good man, because he won’t stay available long. This has no effect on whether or not other people are also finding relationships. Good men are a super rare commodity. The majority of people won’t have an opportunity with a good man. Also…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:37 AM
11

Your argument relies on a false premise. And also uses a different definition of good than i was using. I define "good" to mean above average to high value in all qualities, including good looks, high earning, successful, has interests and hobbies, is socially active, and treats others in a socially acceptable way. If such a man wants to be in a relationship, he won't stay single long. Now, this is no way is mutually exclusive of good looking assholes also finding relationships. Both can happen.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 12:47 AM
7

No one's saying that some asshole men also don't stay single long.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 12:38 AM
63

Does "off the market" mean married or does it include "in an exclusive relationship." Because I'm pretty sure people just mean "good men don't stay single long" when they are saying this. I also don't think people say this about guys younger than 25. Maybe even 28. Certainly not college aged
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:30 PM
4

Well, I don't know anything about dating culture in Ireland, but I think there are more factors to this than just age and country. Things like did you grow up in a (very) small town or a big city. What have you done with your time (enlisted in the military at 18, for instance). But, personally, I'd just omit this information until you've been with the person a little while.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:37 PM
1

This isn't just a male problem. But, other than that, I think this is a great post and very fair critique. I'll just add though that I think it's pretty normal to start shifting to all friends in relationships when you become married. Single people have other priorities. And again when you have kids. Cause people without kids can't relate that well. But I agree: have hobbies and interactions outside the relationship, and make time for those hobbies and interactions
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:09 PM
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Someone highlight this comment!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:51 PM
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I think we can safely disregard these people as not worth taking the time to talk to. We're never going to convince everyone, and I don't care enough to try.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:50 PM
2

I work out 6 days a week or more. My wife is pretty similar. Both of us prioritizing fitness and our physique is a big reason we are together. I could never be with someone who isn't physically fit - regardless of what specific activity they use to get to that fitness level. I have to assume fit people want to be with fit people. On vacation, we might hike 15 miles. I would definitely break up with someone who preferred being sedentary or complained when doing physical activity. But additionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 01:17 PM
1

I think we also have to account for different libido levels, and what counts as a lot for one person might not be a lot for another. But again, my point still stands about the fact that there are some people who will always want a bigger house, and some people who are a content living in a cabin in the woods. Different people want different things
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 01:32 AM
3

The problem with this is that it assumes people are all the same. Some people are never satisfied or content. I imagine Andrew Tate fits this category. Maybe having something makes him no longer want it. So he always wants the next thing. Other people enjoy what they have. Some people eat the same meal every day, and it still makes them happy. I view sex like eating and sleeping. Just because i just ate lunch doesn't mean i don't look forward to dinner. Just because i get to sleep in a comfy bed…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:53 AM
2

I do. Every 2-3 weeks. But just Hair Cuttery. I don't need anything special. 1-guard fade on the sides. Scissor and thinning on top with the texturizing razor comb. Takes less than 20 minutes. I do it on my lunch maintenance for men is still nothing like maintenance for women. I know how long my wife takes to get ready. I can be starting the shower to fully dressed and hair done in under 30 minutes. She can take hours to get ready for events.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 11:30 PM
4

I'm reading a lot of responses to your comment, especially regarding what a person SHOULD or SHOULDN'T want, and I just want to say: the right person for one person doesn't need to be the right person for another person. My best friend's brother basically lives in a house in upstate Vermont with his wife, and they have no real interactions with anyone else. They seem great for each other. I would never date a girl with no friends. But I'm also a lawyer, and half of my job is networking and shaki…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 09:24 PM
1

Wow, i would hate that. I really enjoy the subtle social dance of dating. I will ALWAYS PAY. That's not a question for me. But a girl who asks me to pay? That's a red flag. Subtlety is is a trait I value in women. This would be a dealbreaker This should go without saying. This should go without saying. No. I will always pay. But I appreciate a girl who offers to split the bill. I just won't accept it. All of this, answering from the standpoint of me when I was single.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 09:13 PM
3

You seem like a great person. I wish you the best
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:56 PM
3

Great response. I think "choose better" is an incredibly oversimplified response to what is a very complex subject (dating) with too many variables to completely account for. When I think of "choose better," it is usually in the context of choosing too quickly as a person who has choices. To "choose better" requires acting with intention and purposeful discernment. I feel like there is some overlap with what you are saying. For instance, implicit in "choose better" is the suggestion that people …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:15 PM
3

I think the underlying premise of the comment I responded to (and the original post) is that the "better" in "choose better" is actually better. People end up in maddening situations because the passion and desire is what's keeping them there, not any rational choice making which would lead them to a boring, stable partner. We can tell people all day to "choose better", but ultimately the point is that it's not really a choice, and it's not that simple. A lot of us have issues with say, emotiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:29 PM
10

My problem with this line of thinking is: it feels defeatist. I agree it reflects reality (you're not wrong), but it it's also a cop out and excuse for people not to get better. Take dating out of it entirely. I am attracted to cake. Of course I am. Cake is delicious. I don't eat cake, because I rationally know that processed sugar is bad for me. I used to be fat. Now I'm not. Because i started ignoring what I wanted to have something I wanted more. Someone once said this to me, and it's stuck w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 03:55 PM
1

I feel like this is all too often portrayed as one or the other. Just like red pill vs blue pill, there is an in-between here. You can pick and choose what works best for you that also adheres to your sense of morality. Be a dishonest bad boy. Or better yet, just exist outside this stupid continuum. You can be confident, assertive, and direct without projecting anger or being manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 03:29 PM
2

Yeah, i can't disagree, but I'm really into structure and routine. I have a bunch of alarms set into my phone for when to wake up, gym, drink water, take supplements. i have a lot to do in order to fit in my workouts, being a dad, being a lawyer, being an mma coach, skiing on the weekends, and getting my girls to dance on their schedule. I run on caffeine
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 01:28 PM
5

You surely make mistakes occasionally yourself? Rarely. lol. But seriously, I'm a perfectionist, very competitive, and very highly self-critical. And I like to surround myself with the same kind of people. Is your wife typically understanding? Yes, very. She's great.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:49 PM
1

New Jersey, USA, near Philadelphia
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:47 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:23 PM
1

Ha, that's funny. What would you recommend around water? If I'm on vacation by the pool, or drinking at a bar at the beach, I'm probably wearing boat shoes. Never sandals. This isn't me, but this is how I would dress in those situations <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:20 PM
4

It definitely goes both ways. And it's largely cultural. I do 90% of the cooking in my house. My wife does 90% of the laundry. That's just how we've divided chores
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:00 PM
10

You see weaponized incompetence occur a lot in dads. I have male friends that are very much using weaponized incompetence - either intentionally OR through the fact that they find the task too beneath them to learn to do it right. I know this because I do a lot of "typically mom" things like do my girls' hair. After I made fun of my fellow girl-dad friend for not knowing how to do something, he figured it out very quickly (within minutes). I assume so as not to be outdone, shown-up, or made fun …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:25 PM
1

The carbamide peroxide benefits from using the UV blue light activators, too, but I didn't see a huge benefit until I started putting it in my trays at night and sleeping with it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:14 PM
3

37% thicker than the average man. Jk. I have no way of knowing. Ha. But i guess I'll say my teeth aren't sensitive to cold or anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 02:36 PM
1

Yes. I can't believe i waited as long as I did to get aligners. I use Carbamide Peroxide gel. I buy it on Amazon. I've never thought much about it, but it looks like it's the 35% CP and they also make a 44%. I also use Amazon brand whitening mouthwash and Crest 3D white toothpaste
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 02:35 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 02:30 PM
3

You have to stop thinking like a man and start thinking like a woman. Women DO find it sexy when men wear things that may not fit your definition of exposed skin or equivalent to cleavage. There are many discussions on this topic already. Rolled sleeves, for instance, are considered sexy by women. Tailored suits are considered sexy by many women. Not just neat, but sexy. Grey sweatpants are also considered sexy by many women. Think about the female gaze. Not the female equivalent of the male gaz…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 12:12 PM
5

First, I use invisalign retainers (which I know doesn't whiten, but the trays are useful for my purposes). I put teeth whitener in the trays themselves. So, I'm essentially wearing teeth whitener on my teeth all night long while I sleep. Teeth whitening toothpaste - I brush around 4 times a day. Teeth whitening mouthwash after every brush, and sometimes more if I just ate something and want my breath to smell good. Important Note: My teeth really are pretty white, and I get comments on it in rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:00 PM
9

Thanks! Here's one of our Christmas card photos <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 05:41 PM
6

It's weird how you're giving him the answers, and he'd rather fight you and insist he's right than listen and learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 04:51 PM
18

This is a great answer. There are a few other answers, too (depending on physique and environment). Many men don't expend the effort to learn, but it's really pretty simple, and you can learn it by reading a few websites on the topic. The first thing my wife said to me at the bar when she approached me was "nice shirt." And then, later on, she said again, "No, really, I really like your shirt." I asked her out that night to see her again the next day. The rest is history. Obviously, there's more…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 04:34 PM
1

I think it's great advice... But it's also going to look different in every relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 09:30 PM
4

Disagreement #1: I think the vast majority of men in this sub would agree creeps exist. The definitions and lines may change as to who is a creep, but I think we mostly would all agree creeps exist. Agreement #1: There's a good chance you might be a creep, or your behavior is creepy behavior, if multiple, dfferent, unrelated people call you a creep. Agreement #2: Maladjusted people are less likely to take care of their appearance. That's true, but... Disagreeement #2: Being maladjusted does not …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:16 PM
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But what if the person is Chinese or Russian but born, raised, and culturally assimilated into this country's culture
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:18 PM
3

I just think there's just less universiality than people in this sub like to believe sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:15 PM
2

I'm not trying to say we're representative of all or even the majority of men. Obviously, there are many high earning men who just want trophy wives. I only post to demonstrate that OP's post suggests this applies to men universally, and that's just not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:17 AM
9

I can only speak from personal experience, but I come from a family with two older sisters who are doctors married to two doctors, and I wasn't bringing around some girl without a graduate degree. And I hang out with mostly doctors, lawyers, grad school graduates, liberal elites, etc - and the atmosphere in these circles is judgey as fuck. Like I said in another comment, people will say shit behind your back if you bring around someone who isn't up to snuff. Off-hand comments like, "Oh, yeah, he…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:25 PM
1

I don't understand what you're implying
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:47 PM
15

Oh, the new girl/wife is not nearly as hot or fun. She just comes from old money. He's all in on the socioeconomic status thing. He'll be a judge one day, too. You just gotta know him i guess. he was dating this awesome girl through college, and at 24, his dad was like, "she’s a good college girlfriend, but it’s time to grow up.” And he basically broke up with her the next day. But honestly, believe me, don’t believe me, I don’t give a shit. I’ll leave you with this. When you hang out with mostl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:04 PM
17

Not really because he went along with it without too much fight. Status and his dad's approval meant more to him than any girl. If he really didn't care, he'd say "fuck you" to his dad. Spend enough time at country clubs and you'll see what i mean. Sleep around in college but settle down with someone respectable
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:44 PM
40

These are such wide generalizations. Have you known anyone from old money? I have a friend from an old pre-revolutionary family; dad is a judge, they've live in a pre-revolutionary named estate that has been in the family for multiple generations. His dad made him break up with his college girlfriend because she didn't come from old money. He ended up marrying another girl from an old family from the same town. Who you sleep with may not matter, but who you marry does. I also care about educatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:28 PM
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You're not going to hear that from me. I view life as a competition. So Im vetting out friendless guys, broke guys, guys who are socially awkward, and guys who dont dress well. I wouldn't be friends with a guy like that, so I wouldn't judge you for not dating one. I have two sisters, so I often think of it like this: would I set this guy up with my sister? If not, then I don't fault women for not choosing him. But it goes both ways, too. Women need to be aware that there are more women competing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:40 PM
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Standard #NotAMonolith in action. All men will not have the same outlook, perspective, etc. So, who cares if you are getting contradictory messages from different men. I'm team "Choose Better." And men who want to be chosen need to Be Better. But also, "Choose Better," doesn't necessarily mean go for even better looking, richer, taller, etc. It might mean, vet better so you don't go out with a good-looking guy who treats you like shit. The specific advice is going to vary on a case-by-case basis…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:45 PM
2

The one I used above reflects my memory of what I learned when I was in college... almost two decades ago now. Yikes. I do prefer the initial one I posted. "Mate retention" and "Parenting" both feel like just one path towards achieving "love and belonging" and "self-actualization," respectively
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 05:14 PM
5

That's where I would put it, too. Interestingly, Maslow considered it a physiological need. There's obviously been debate about that. Check out this paper I found: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3161123/
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:37 PM
9

I think it’s pretty commonly understood that a need is something you’ll die without It's really not. There are whole academic fields devoted to the study of "Maslow's Hierchy of Needs" of which physiological needs is just the base of the pyramid, and intimacy is somewhere in the middle. Now, I'm a huge feminist, and I don't know what the solution is right now. In the future, I think it's companion robots. But, for now, without being able to propose a solution, I will say I am sympathetic to men …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:21 PM
5

It's fucking called "Maslow's Hierachy of NEEDS," not "Maslow's hierachy of physiological needs plus four more things on the pyramid that would be nice to have but are really wants." <image> I don't support sexual slavery at all by the way, and am one of the lucky guys where I have it all. That doesn't change the fact that I recognize a real problem affecting society, and I'm not sure what the solution is (besides companion robots, which aren't viable yet). I don't see the problem described by O…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:15 PM
37

"existed throughout history" is really a terrible way to justify anything. If you want to justify it on its own merit, go for it. I honestly don't even have an opinion on the age gap thing. I'm just looking at this from an academic standpoint, and from the standpoint of someone who hates tradition for the sake of tradition. For instance, other historically acceptable acts that "existed throughout history" also applies to: slavery honor killings child labor human trafficking racism genocide Genoc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 04:09 PM
1

I absolutely agree with this. I'm raising two girls, and my wife and I have had talks about some of these issues. They're young still, but I've definitely been thinking about this
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:57 PM
1

I think Gen alpha caps out at 14 years old, so i dunno. But maybe in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:35 PM
4

In addition to the other comments, it's not unusual for younger women to date older men, so Gen Z women might be ignoring Gen Z men in favor of more established millennial men, contributing to the disparity
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 07:51 PM
2

I knew a girl who said "I don't like confident guys." I thought that was very odd
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 12:22 AM
4

Being settled for is, indeed, a terrible feeling, but I'm not one of those guys worried about being settled for. To be clear, I think carnal attraction is VERY IMPORTANT to a good relationship. My wife IS very much constantly attracted to me, as I am to her. Moving beyond just looks, I view life as a competition. I'm generally in the camp of "if you aren't good enough, then get better." Importantly, I don't think that applies just to men. It's just that I think men have far too long gotten away …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:22 PM
1

Great question. I support it. It's a bit of a course-over-correction, but I think it's a good thing in the long-run, because it can help push things towards an equilibrium where men and women are on a more level playing field, and men can no longer take advantage of resting on their laurels in a society that favors them. This also increases the value of stable, responsible, and considerate men
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:03 PM
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Disagree. I agree it's not enough to just "have hobbies," but hobbies can also be used to your advantage (and disadvantage). For instance, being a great chess player probably won't interest most people, so it adds nothing to your "value" in the estimation of most women. But if you are trying to date the hottest girl in the chess club, there's a good likelihood she's going to care more about you if you are genuinely good at the same hobby. In that way, having a hobby with widespread appeal can he…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 08:04 PM
2

I agree, but I think it's broader than 1-5%. Probably at least top 10% of men, with some parity in the 10-20% range.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:48 PM
1

You're absolutely right: beliefs on marriage - as well as most beliefs - are drawn from the culture. Which only reinforces my initial point that the best thing you can do is ask and, if they say no, then leave. Because, even in America, there are different cultures co-existing And, as you admitted, deprogramming is difficult. I'm not really here to answer specific questions about my grandfather's relationships, or even offer my judgment of it - he was born in 1904 in a different country. I'm not…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 04:13 PM
1

Strongly disagree - because implicit in your response is an assumption about what marriage is or isn't. Yes, there are mainstream beliefs about marriage in American society that are probably safe to assume without further clarification. But even that can be problematic depending on the specific individuals involved (even if we are assuming we are talking about two Americans, which isn't guaranteed). There are so many beliefs existent in the world from one society to the next, from one religion t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:29 PM
1

It feels so obvious, right? It's also easier. Who has the energy to guess all the time about everyone else's subjective morality
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 10:18 PM
7

Yes. Your partner is allowed to ask. You are allowed to say no. And then you both break up and find someone who fits you better. There is no difference between watching porn and dressing provocatively, or not eating pork or not having sex until marriage. These are all reflections of subjective opinions regarding moral right and wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:58 PM
101

Not any different than asking your partner to convert religions. You can ask. They can say no. And, then, at that point, you're probably incompatible and should just break up amicably. Just do it early. If you feel strongly about something, you should let your partner know early
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 03:28 PM
1

I think that's all correct. And also there's an element of not knowing if you actually are going to end up with a worse hand by asking for another card. But, regardless of all that, there are "right" moves (statistically better) and there are "wrong" moves in any given scenario
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:43 PM
1

It's absolutely SOME luck. But's it's definitely not ALL luck. That's like saying any card game is all luck, when the reality is that you can make decisions to improve your chances with the hand that you are dealt. If you are dealt crappy cards, you have to take risks to improve your hand. And you can screw up a great relationship just like if you hit in blackjack when you are dealt two face cards.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:08 PM
6

Status is absolutely part of the equation. Speaking for myself, staus can influence why i choose one woman over another. But i absolutely do love women and companionship and intimacy, and i have a hard time without it
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:23 PM
9

It's not just about craving something you barely have. I can't speak for all men but i can speak for myself. I've been lucky enough to always be able to get women and I've never been single for long. I've been married for the last ten years. I still hate when my wife is not around. I never really want to be alone. And i get really antsy when dry spells last even a week
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:21 PM
–

Early 20s? Like still in college? No. I agree that girls like that mostly only want to date within their age range or slightly older. 25+? Absolutely. 25-35 year olds feel like social peers, and if you are a young looking, in-shape 35-40 man, with your life in order, it's very much reasonable to date a 25-30 year old. 22-25 is a transitionary age, so it's really not unheard of for women in the 23-25 range to fall into the aforementioned group, either. Reallly depends on maturity, social environm…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 03:36 PM
2

I double majored in Communication specifically because of the high percentage of attractive women. I already finished or nearly finished my Poli-Sci major (pre-law). So, i was employable and used a major in communication to my advantage
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:13 PM
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Ha. I also catch and release the spiders. Or sometimes, i put them in jars, because my kids are fascinated by insects (when they are safely in a jar)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 08:12 PM
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I want to emphasize one thing you said that I really like: it just makes sense for everyone to PLAY TO HIS OR HER STRENGTHS! That might align with traditional gender roles, and it might not. But if it doesn't, why should that matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:14 PM
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Ha. This is a hilarious response. Not sarcasm
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:41 PM
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Disagree. You SHOULD contribute. Good relationships ARE about balance. But it doesn't need to be cooking and cleaning. My wife and I are both professionals (lawyers). My wife contributes a significant salary, so we hire a cleaner. I don't think she's any less for not cleaning. She also doesn't cook. I mostly cook and do dishes (i love to cook). On nights we're too busy, we eat out or order in. My wife mostly does laundry and drives the kids around to sports. I make breakfast and get the kids dre…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:03 PM
3

13 years (married 10)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 02:18 AM
0

True. Some are doing it intentionally with ulterior motives
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:46 PM
2

Anyone who doesn't believe certain personality traits can exist in both men and women is an idiot, and you can stop listening to their opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 03:37 AM
4

I mean... Neither men nor women are monoliths? So no man or woman speaks for all men or women? Is it more complicated than that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 03:32 AM
-1

It has elements of status seeking, but it's more than that for me. Here's what I mean by that statement: I trust my friends and family a great deal. So, I trust their opinions. And they can often see things from a third-person perspective that I might miss being too close to it. If I am dating a girl that I know my mom or my best friends would disapprove of, that should give me pause. Why would they disapprove? I should seriously think on that. As for co-workers, I think of a wife as a partner i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 07:54 PM
1

I can't think of one specific thing, because I viewed dating as looking for someone who checked all my boxes. If I had to use an ambiguous definition, wife material is: Someone that I'm proud to show off to my friends, my family, and my co-workers equally, Someone I would want beside me in good times and bad times, and Someone I would be confident to care for and raise my children if something were to ever happen to me and I was no longer in the picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 07:25 PM
8

I'm 100% Asian. I've gotten the "you're my first Asian," but never felt like masculinity was a problem for me. Only height. Just gotta be fit and an athlete. I've pretty much only dated white girls and married one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 11:29 PM
3

They're lame
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 06:02 AM
1

100%. If you care about your partner, then you continue to work on yourself, work on being attractive to them, and try and impress them. Never stop dating your spouse. Now, whether or not that means physical appearance or something else will be dictated by the specific relationship. For most relationships, that will probably mean staying in shape, grooming, dressing well, etc. But I'm sure there are many relationships where the foundations are more cerebral - great conversation, banter, flirting…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 05:33 PM
2

I mean, unless you're also a party guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 05:27 PM
2

It's similar to the mental health conversation. To what extent is it "a need" to live in an environment that is good for your mental health or have things or social interactions that are good for your mental health? To that end, sex can be "a need" for some people in order to be mentally healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 11:39 AM
1

I'm a big fan and supporter of feminism that advocates for equal policies and equal application of policies - not necessarily absolute equality. For instance, the best person should be hired for a job regardless of gender... But if the job requirements favor one gender over the other (physical strength, for instance), we shouldn't use quotas to ensure 50% of those hired are women. And feminism can help combat inequalities due to institutional tradition (old boys clubs keeping women on the outsid…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 01:06 AM
5

So, the statistics are more or less right, but the analysis is probably less dire. Bars, school, church, college still amount to around 10%. That's 1-in-10. Not terrible. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:46 PM
3

You're all good, bud. Have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:09 PM
3

Okay, that's fine. So people who are not sensitive are locked out. I'm not really invested in this debate. I just think some people lack the fundamental ability to figure this shit out - for whatever reason
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:21 PM
4

I don't agree. I'm a natural extrovert, but some guys just do not have the confidence for it. Or the ability to disengage their filter and act natural. The same way i don't have the ability to be naturally funny. Some people are literally autistic or on the spectrum, and they have more trouble figuring out social norms than most. I'm not one of those people, but I've met them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:56 PM
3

I agree, but I'm 38. I came up dating before OLD. Kids these days [I say as I shake my fist at clouds]
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:52 PM
6

It can be a lot of things. It might just be innate confidence and lack of a filter. It might be an innate sense of humor. I'm pretty good with women, but I'm not really funny and I don't think I could LEARN to be funny at this point in my life. So, I don't even try. I rely on other strengths to generate chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:50 PM
12

I agree with you. But extroverted guys with the ability to generate chemistry with someone they just met at a bar is a very small subset of guys these days, and also even less represented in a sub like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:35 PM
7

OP, there are many men who want relationships who are not socially invisible. I think part of the problem is that women who want relationships outnumber men who want relationships. If I can offer some assistance, I'd recommend checking out the statistics about which men are most likely to make better long-term partners. For instance, higher education and race are both studied factors: men in grad school with beyond bachelor's degrees as well as Asian men are both more likely to be in successful …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:21 PM
4

The solution should be obvious. Be a "bad boy" type until you're ready to settle down. Then mature around 25-30
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:45 PM
1

If it's a Christian content creator, you can automatically disregard
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:49 PM
1

I graduated high school in 2004, and I know that 18 sounds about right for when I was growing up. Some younger, some older. I knew a girl who lost her virginity at 12 - but she was an obvious outlier. I have to question how this data was calculated. Does it only include people who have lost their virginity? Is it average age or median age or mode?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 07:08 PM
3

It's compteition. Competitive people find a way to get a leg up. Men need to create ways to demonstrate their superiority in order to compete for a limited supply of most desirable women
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 05:40 PM
–

I call this the big fish, small pond approach to dating. I've used it to very good effect. I'm not going to be the best looking guy at a meet-up of varsity and D1 athletes, but I'm often the best looking guy at industry networking events. In high school and college I was a very very good athlete at a very small sport (Taekwondo). I never would have made it in football or soccer or basketball. Who cares? I still used it to get girls all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 04:20 PM
3

I know this isn't exactly what you a referring to, but I think relationship experience was invaluable to myself in shaping what I was looking for in a woman, especially regarding what things I could not put up with and what things I absolutely needed. As I got older, I was able to quickly recognize when a girl just didn't have long-term potential, and I was able to break things off without wasting any time. I also continued to trade up. Every girlfriend was better than the last - had more of wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 03:23 PM
2

I agree. I stopped having trouble dating when I forced myself to stop putting women on a pedestal when I was younger, and I just treated them like I would any random guy I met. I did a lot of self-analysis on why it was that so many girls hit on me when I was already in a relationship, and how can I project that attitude when I'm single or trying to pick up a specific girl. And I realized, it's because I was awkward, too serious, or too intense around girls I was interested in but just casual, f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:23 PM
3

Your definition of "good/nice men" are "men who live or have lived through hardships." Lots of people come from nothing and find success. I'm a first generation immigrant, and now I'm a lawyer. Both my sisters are doctors. I wasn't born with a golden spoon, but I've done pretty well for myself dating throughout my life. But I've also just been steadily successful. Yeah, it's easier to find success if you are born with a golden spoon in your mouth - but I think the value is more about where you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:08 PM
4

I have both. No one should have to choose. For me, a marriage without sex is no marriage worth being in. But sex without love is fine. That's how i spent most of my life before meeting my wife. So, if i had to choose, i choose sex
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 12:35 AM
1

I do. And I agree with this advice. If it's truly a natural opening for conversation, then it wouldn't matter if it's a guy or a girl; except I might not take it if it were a guy, but I would if it were a girl. I live in South Jersey, and a great example is after a big win by the Eagles or Phillies. I often have strangers say something like, "that was a great win last night!" Something like that. I take those kinds of openings with men and women if I'm looking to just make conversation, in place…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:02 PM
2

Agreed, but that's not what OP was arguing, or what I was countering. The point stands that being attractive does not mean you are nonchalant, and you can be more attractive based on how you act and project yourself such as being laid back - as well as other intangibles having to do with personality, money, style, career, etc. And, more importantly, OPs premise is flawed, because you can definitely have reverse game even if you are super good-looking. I just think posts like these are silly, bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:06 PM
3

Fake italian, but looked Italian. Prob third generation, probably genetically 75% at least - kinda had Cristiano Ronaldo vibes, but the Italian version. His dad had thick wavy dark brown hair, a big moustache, wore shirts that showed off his chest hair and drove around a red Mazda Miata for our whole childhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 02:19 PM
1

1) I view it from an equality standpoint. Men often don’t get judged for sleeping around. So why should women? 2) I also view it from a "have fun while you’re young" standpoint. I, and most of my friends, had a good period of youthful indiscretion. I’m sure it would not have been nearly as much fun if there weren’t girls who were equally willing to be youthfully indiscrete. And then most of us went to grad school and settled down. That seems pretty good to me. Pretty normal. Party and sleep arou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 01:17 PM
1

I disagree based on anecdotal evidence. I knew a guy in high school who was super good looking. Italian, dark hair, blue eyes, played varsity soccer, 5'11". I was really good friends with him for a long time, and girls often asked me about him to get to him. My girlfriend used to say he had "reverse game." Really attractive until he opened his mouth. He had no chill and had a weird combination of being cocky and insecure. My girlfriend's best friend asked me about him and i introduced her. After…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:03 AM
1

I think it's even, but perhaps they tend towards different prejudices. But the general act of being prejudiced is common in men and women
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 06:01 PM
–

Nah. It's definitely insecurity, because it's arbitrary. It's caring about societal standards. Once upon a time, a woman was soiled if she were found alone with an unmarried man. Just alone. It was unbecoming. The target moved over time: showing a certain amount of skin or too much kissing made a girl a slut. Now, it's body count. What will it be tomorrow? Do you care how many guys a girl has held hands with? Kissed? Once upon a time, people cared. Judge people for who they are. The past may inf…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:19 AM
0

Honestly, if you're judging someone for their bodycount, I'm judging you for your insecurity. Male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:53 PM
1

I agree. Slut shaming is such a weird thing. What does it stem from? Jealousy? Religion. Self righteousness? Who cares? Everyone should be free to live their life as they see fit as long as they are not infringing upon the rights of others
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:43 PM
2

I agree that Alpha is too broad a term anymore. Does alpha just mean confident? Does alpha include confident charismatic? Does alpha include confident cocky/arrogant? Does alpha include talkative intellectual? Does alpha include drill-seargeant-military-type? Those are all very different vibes from a guy, and all would probably end up in a leadership/alpha position in a room of other men. I recently saw a movement towards boradening the number of terms from Alpha to Omega, with traits that descr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:33 PM
–

I don't doubt it
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:02 AM
3

This also contributes to obesity
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:18 PM
2

This kind proves OPs point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:18 PM
3

I think if people were not embarrassed about how they looked, they'd be more willing to leave the house
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:16 PM
22

generally, yes. Individually? No. The deadbedrooms sub is full of women who have higher libidos than their husbands. This is why I think the most important thing is to find a partner with sexual compatibility and a matching libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 09:32 PM
–

I can see that. But we haven't defined the goal here. If the goal is just getting women or having sex... then it DOES work, even if there's some sense that it is less fulfilling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 09:05 PM
–

I think we need to clearly define what we are talking about here. Are we talking about ways to obtain/choose a partner? Or are we talking about love? Based on what you said first, I think we both agree: Attraction is the easiest way to obtain/choose a partner. Money can substitute for attraction. After that, I think women are more diverse than you think, and that you CAN "truly" love someone that provides security/money/humor/ great sex or whatever other things without attraction existing. Attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 09:01 PM
–

Disagree. First, most unattractive people are just out of shape. And for the rest, making money goes a long way to compensating for lack of attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:01 PM
–

Also futile, but it passes the time. I hear ya. This is also why I'm here. We're arguing so they stop being misandristic liars This is kinda the world though. Plenty of people are lying all the time (politicians, anyone?), including and especially to themselves. Lots of people won't admit to themselves they are lying, like anyone who commits to a New Year's weight loss plan. They WANT to be healthy. They WANT to be in relationships with certain kinds of men/women. But what's the value in forcing…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 07:59 PM
1

No worries. I know when I've won an argument. I'm a lawyer. I do this for a living. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:42 PM
–

I believe it. I just know how insanely jealous a lot of my past girlfriends have been
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:40 PM
1

You literally wrote: "I've never seen any man fantasizing about a woman like that." So, I responded, to which you responded: "Just because men fantasize about women sexually..." Anyway, I'm a man, and this: "At the end of the day, men want to marry a woman who has had few partners, a homebody and who has little visibility on social media." is absolutely not what I want or what I married. My wife had mulitple partners before me, is a full-time attorney, has body tattoos like Megan Fox, and I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:36 PM
–

I guess it really depends on the person. I have no way of knowing how people split on that. Many people put up with partners they dislike. Look at the marriage sub. But there are definitely others who feel what you say. Just check out TwoX. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:17 PM
–

Personally, I think very few woman would prefer polygamy over being single. Jealousy is a very strong emotion for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:14 PM
–

it's an interesting statistic. I hadn't seen it before. Let me know if this is the same study you read: "45% of prime working age women (ages 25-44) will be single by 2030—the largest share in history—up from 41% in 2018" https://www.morganstanley.com/ideas/womens-impact-on-the-economy In context, that 's only a little bit more than it was in 2018. In any case though, if that's true, shouldn't that make settling more common? Or do you think women will still refuse to settle and just prefer being…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 05:06 PM
13

Your logic fails because you wrote "When every one is fucking everyone you are prioritizing short term gratification over long term relationships, which can hinder you to develop trust and vulnerability. Not only does it do that but it LEADS to an increase of anxiety and depression and social disconnect which is everything Gen Z is dealing with now Gen Z is known as the most isolated generation and have the most mental health problems," but also, statistically, "Gen Z is having less sex, fewer p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 04:40 PM
–

I didn't mean as "women continue to earn more THAN MEN." I meant as women's salaries continue to increase.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 04:20 PM
–

I agree with you that it's happening but I disagree with you on the reason why. For one, i don't think women are doing it to feel empowered, I think they are doing it because it's better than being alone. There are so few quality men out there that women are being forced to settle. Secondly, this is going to happen with increasing frequency as women continue to earn more and find employment in more and more prestigious positions. Women in medical school outnumber men in medical school. For a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 03:51 PM
1

This is pretty much the reason men like Megan Fox
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:35 PM
1

This is pretty much the reason that Megan Fox was considered the sexiest woman alive once, and still ranks way up there
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:35 PM
2

Megan Fox, basically
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:34 PM
1

There's some underlying suggestion in a lot of these posts that you can't be both. You should aspire to be both. The guys who get a lot of girls in their 20s are usually a combination of hot, fun, and a give off rebellious vibes. The guys who are "safe" are usually financially secure and loyal. These things are not mutually exclusive Nothing is stopping you from being in shape, fun, and a little socially rebellious, while also making money and being loyal to the girl you want to be loyal to. Add…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:53 AM
2

For these purposes, the most important thing is not your age, it’s how you look.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:56 PM
1

I choose this one
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:41 AM
–

No. She never got married. Her wedding is next month. She took that long to find someone
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 07:14 PM
–

You're focus on conservative, Christian men waiting for marriage is setting you up for a bad time. I genuinely wish the best for you. The odds aren't in your favor My wife's best friend is from a similar background. She's a goodlooking, former cheerleader, ivy-league educated, black female doctor from a Christian background who chose to wait until marriage. She mostly couldn't find interested men. After two or three failed relationships, she's finally getting married next month. She's 36.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:36 PM
–

One of my causes is getting people to stop worrying about BMI and championing the use of underfat, normalfat, and overfat instead. The only thing that matters is how you look in the mirror and how your bloodwork comes back. Too many people, in America especially, only care about the number on the scale and: a) this promotes body dysmorphia, and b) makes thin, unhealthy people feel good about their inactive lifestyles. As to your point: I live in a pretty wealthy area. EVERY woman I know works ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:33 PM
–

I couldn't tell you what the statistics are, but I prefer women who work out and have visible lean muscle. Which is what I've mostly dated (and eventually married). Seriously, though. As an athlete myself who mostly dated athletes: BMI is useless for individuals and we should stop using it, because it's really body fat that matters. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:09 PM
–

21 BMI limit suggests you don't date athletes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 03:37 PM
–

Most quality men over 30 are already married, in relationships, or single by choice. The ones leftover are too insecure for this kind of thing, or have the wherewithal to know they are low value and wouldn't do well even if they went. Any quality single guys i know over 30 are cleaning up with women, and know they are in the driver's seat. By quality men, i mean at least reasonably fit and financially secure men without personality red flags. Someone, as a guy, I'd be comfortable introducing to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 12:40 PM
1

I have dated women who slept with me on the first date
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:58 AM
1

What an idiot. Not worth trying to wrap your head around, IMO
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:26 PM
12

meh. It's kinda like saying "it's not you, it's me," when breaking up. Or "I'm not hungry" when you don't want to eat something you don't like. Its a social nicety. It can be any number of things, but everyone knows its not honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 04:59 PM
0

... but what if I can change him/her?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:44 PM
4

But seriously, back when I was single, my general approach was: "If she isn't married/engaged, she's still fair game." Don't think about it too much. Lots of girls cheat, and lots of girls don't move on until there's something to move on to.
/r/seduction21/07/23 07:12 PM
39

You need to blow your nose. Big booger hanging down.
/r/seduction21/07/23 06:47 PM
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