BetterToIlluminate Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
–	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD I was 22 when we married. And a virgin. My husband was 26 at marriage. He had some “struggles” in college but was on a reversion path when I met him. Can I declare him not a cuck? But because of his age and past, am a cuckette, is that a thing?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 07:03 PM
–	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD what if the woman was a virgin until marriage?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 06:45 PM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Assuming this is the US… It’s ok this year’s filing, but make sure you withhold enough this year so that you don’t get hit with a penalty next year. There’s also some situations that trigger pre-payment requirements but I’m not sure of the details.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 06:33 PM
1	Woman are actually pretty bad at filtering. So, to make your point more succinct: let’s say 2 percent of men are “bad.” You propose that women, by filtering for some other factor, are disproportionately choosing that “bad” ones. All or most of the bad ones are selected and (if I can do math) only 8 percent of the good ones are, meaning that of the 10 percent selected, 20 percent are bad? It’s possible. Not probable with the numbers you give. You would need to know how many men are “selected” and what define what counts as “selected” (a me…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 04:33 PM
3	What would your (hypothetical) partner think if they saw your Reddit account? He can read it. Hi, husband! He knows my account and my log in too. He could read my e-mail too if he wanted but I doubt he cares about coupons for children’s clothes. I show him things too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 01:42 AM
1	Modern women don't want a "protector," they want a reliable safety net You act as if we are living in a dystopian horror movie being attacked by hordes of monsters and I’m chucking him out the window as zombie chow. He likely won’t ever need to physically defend me from a “man bigger than him” for any reason whatsoever. And if he did, no matter how much I’d tell him to not defend me, he would. Pray tell, what could I even do if he stood up to the abominable snowman/ an angry squirrel/ some Goliath of a man? I couldn’t push him out of the way. He’s much stronger and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/01/26 01:36 AM
2	Women’s concern for men, or passive fear of men is valid. It’s the hypothetical person who attacks who is to “blame.” I can say someone isn’t to blame but also recognize that there are things she could have done differently. These people who violate women should be arrested, given a trial, and if found guilty, punished- usually severely. I’m sure we could agree that more could be done to get violent SAers in to jail. You cannot eliminate risk; I never claimed such or implied such, and I don’t know why you are asking me to defend absurd statements that …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/01/26 02:57 PM
2	Women’s concern for men, or passive fear of men is valid. Making wise decisions, protecting yourself, and being guarded, sure. Crippling fear and disproportionality, no. Acting as some random guy is some despicable creep because he happens to be walking the same way on the sidewalk as you? Absolutely not. I think women should take caution and not get themselves into dangerous situations if they can prevent them. I’m not blaming the victim, and a victim is always a victim. That doesn’t negate that there are strategies, behaviors, and precautions to take…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/01/26 01:18 PM
1	Does the "most average people are in relationships" argument work for women too? I think personality may not be an initial attracting factor but I definitely think most men care about it for any long-term relationship and especially marriage. I can’t speak to most men but only my interpretation of “my man.” I don’t think when we first met that my husband initially started talking to me because of my “personality.” Ostensibly, the pretense of the conversation being started was the book I was reading. However, I don’t think he would have continued the conversation with me to a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/01/26 12:33 PM
–	Modern women don't want a "protector," they want a reliable safety net His volunteering and naturally going to check on the weird noise, is me running him into the ground and using him like a meat shield? I rarely tell him to do these things and I don’t make a habit of telling him what to do in general. If something serious were to happen and I tried to prevent him from getting in front of the kids and me, he would stop me from preventing him. He’s not charging against enemy troops coming to destroy our fortress on a daily basis. There’s no one with a catapult outs…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/26 11:43 AM
–	Modern women don't want a "protector," they want a reliable safety net I think that’s largely true. Like I said, I don’t live in huge fear of being attacked when I’m alone (I’m never really alone but with the kids), while I go to the grocery store, or dentist office, or at a hiking trail with other moms/kids. However, I do think my husband would be a deterrent to some hypothetical confronter because even at quick glance, it’s obvious he’s much stronger than I am (he’s male, first and foremost; he’s larger than I am, etc.) It’s a similar idea to how roosters greatly…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/26 11:36 AM
3	Modern women don't want a "protector," they want a reliable safety net If you want to limit it to physical threats and not threats of weather or my car tires having a leak, I did mention he would protect me in public if someone started a fight (which is unlikely to happen based on where we go and what I do, but I suppose it could) and is the one who makes sure the weird noise isn’t a serial killer but rather the “fox that screams every evening… and morning… at everything.” I guess I don’t really know what defines “aggro alpha,” so you may be correct. I don’t think …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/26 01:10 AM
9	Modern women don't want a "protector," they want a reliable safety net I’d say my husband is a “protector.” I don’t mean he protects me at bars. In part because the only “bars” I go to are with him and our kids and they are restaurants with kids menus and some beer. I don’t go to bars where people start fights unless it’s our kids over who gets the last fried pickle. However, if we were in a bar on a date night and someone started fighting the lady sipping Cabernet, he’d protect me. He’s the one who investigates the weird noise in the middle of the night. He’s the …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/26 12:38 AM
–	Women gaslight men into using sex toys, while shaming male porn usage Can I do the opposite of “pick-me shit” and say both are gross and should be considered such? I will say I think porn is worse in some aspects because it involves treating human beings as commodities to be bought and sold. But I’m more than fine with saying both are detrimental and should be avoided. Both shouldn’t be accessible easily online or at the CVS aisle next to some tampons, at bare minimum.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/26 08:19 PM
1	It is not necessary to use intellectualism to reject people you find repulsive. “Hate” is carrying a lot in your statement. I would agree that you should not “hate” people for their past actions or really “hate” people at all. Regardless of what I or anyone else thinks of promiscuity, it’s a lot easier to not “hate” some woman who sleeps with half the town than it is to not hate some murderer or child abuser. So yes, in that sense, there’s not a reason to “hate” these women, nor are they among those who are the most difficult not to hate. Thinking someone is making bad choi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/26 02:04 PM
6	If you could get away with it guaranteed would you commit paternity fraud My husband and father of all of our kids is “genetically fit” and “resourceful.” I don’t get this false dichotomy. Even if I were an immoral, vile, deceptive trollop, my husband is a both an excellent provider and I’m very attracted to him. Although if I were a lying strumpet, he probably wouldn’t have married me so…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 09:31 PM
6	The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussion Agreed. It’s absolutely inane commentary if you stop and think about it. I remember looking at the flawed methods of the studies, as you explain. However, even before that, you can pretty much dismiss the brain development argument by looking at history, biology, the people around you… The loudest proponents of it simultaneously want to claim that women under 25 can’t possibly be trusted to make decisions for themselves, but also decry that women are infantilized while infantilizing them. I eith…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 09:07 PM
2	How did you meet the last 5 guys you had sex with He was dazzled by my use of vague song lyrics as an away status, haha. Thank you!	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 02:36 PM
3	The economy and rising costs are influencing women's 'six figure' standards I deliberately said I did not look younger than my age? I’m 39 and probably look 39. I’m also a millennial, not a boomer, if we are being accurate, which coherence nor accuracy seems to be of any importance to you. He makes more than $100,000; again, reading comprehension does not seem to be your strong suit. It’s significantly more than that, and I recognize others aren’t as fortunate. However, there are more than four of us, and I also don’t think my husband is a “good man” because he buys me …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 02:14 PM
3	The economy and rising costs are influencing women's 'six figure' standards I’m pushing 40 and I’m not delusional enough to think I look 20, and he still seems quite fond of me so I must be doing something right. I don’t think I look like a cave troll but I look about 20 years older than I did when we first met, as one would expect. I don’t dress as frumpy as possible and I try and “look nice” but I don’t think I look 20, because I’m not. I am boring. Boring and happy. I said “going on” about fancy dinners and shopping sprees and trips. That may be a colloquialism now t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 01:44 PM
1	How did you meet the last 5 guys you had sex with 1 and only. I met my husband when we were both in college. I was a freshman and he was a senior. We met waiting for a bus and he commented on the book I was reading. We exchanged AIM screen names (yes, I’m old) and phone numbers, and set up a coffee date a few days later. I actually saw him at Mass before our coffee date but I don’t think he saw me. We had coffee, dated; we got married and were intimate. I have no other tales to tell. Edit: I’m over 35 now. Met my husband at 18. Married him at 2…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 02:09 AM
16	The economy and rising costs are influencing women's 'six figure' standards Am I reading this wrong, because it doesn’t seem to fully support what you say. It seems to support that female doctors/surgeons will marry someone who is also a doctor/surgeon. However, male doctors/surgeons, also list teachers and nurses (the most common female-dominated occupations ), in addition to other doctors. It makes sense that people will meet their spouses at work or professional events but the link you posted supports that men are much more likely to date women who make less money, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 01:08 AM
6	The economy and rising costs are influencing women's 'six figure' standards I agree that $100,000 is not going to be an extravagant life for a family. Fortunate, yes; extravagant, no. I am a SAHM and my husband makes significantly more than that. I appreciate him more than I can put in words. We are very fortunate and he works very hard. Unless by extravagant shopping trips you mean that I buy the good mozzarella (or make it) from the normal grocery store, or buy organic broccoli sometimes, that’s hardly the case. When we first got married, we were on a much tighter inc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/01/26 12:45 AM
2	Men would have a much better time dating if they believed that they were actually the prize. I think both men and women need to recognize their value but I wouldn’t frame that as a “prize.” I also think that some people largely inflate what they bring to a relationship, and that false view of oneself often hinders them. Recognizing your value is good; viewing yourself as some prize by your mere presence, no matter how unpleasant and grating you are, is vanity and entitlement. I don’t think that thinking you deserve to be treated like royalty while bringing nothing to the relationship is…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/01/26 03:33 PM
3	Kneeling to propose is a humiliation ritual intended to subliminally prep men for the drudgery of married life. Women rarely propose because men are more likely to say no to a woman proposing than vice versa. By the time a man proposes, the women would have said yes months if not years ago… especially in current dating culture with super long relationships pre-marriage and the types of relationships before marriage. I don’t have any particular devotion to kneeling to propose, which comes from medieval knights and fealty. It’s not a critical point or tenet to me. It makes absolutely no difference on the va…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/01/26 06:13 PM
2	"Missing out on being a hoe" - is this real? The question wasn’t about whether men or women have it tougher in dating. I have not stated my opinions there. I also think it’s a false dichotomy because while it’s obviously much easier for an average woman than for an average man to find someone for a “date,” that’s not the only parameter as far as “ease” goes. There’s a reason why men usually are the ones that propose, that goes beyond social convention; most women proposed to will say “yes” and would have said yes a long time ago. I don’t t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/26 11:31 PM
1	"Missing out on being a hoe" - is this real? Well, I don’t know who was/is a bigger LOTR fan: me or high school pseudo-boyfriend. Not the guy I married and I have no desire to have ever married him or dated him more seriously, but he’s a good guy with a lovely wife. I put “dating” in quotes because I wasn’t solely talking about formal dating but any romantic or intimate entanglement. I think that if you guard your heart and body, and set clear boundaries, that you are far less likely to be in situations that are dangerous and damaging to o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/26 10:46 PM
8	"Missing out on being a hoe" - is this real? You’re correct that I don’t have any personal experience dating anyone other than my husband, unless you count my prom date or the guy I went to see Lord of the Rings in the movie theater with. My perspective is somewhat limited. However, I do live in the world and have seen others deal with said heartbreak, mental anguish, dangers- and sadly the realization of such danger. I have women very close to me who have suffered from their poor “dating” decisions. I don’t need to stick a fork in an elec…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/26 10:23 PM
18	"Missing out on being a hoe" - is this real? I never understood women who say this. I started dating my husband at 18, married at 22; even if I hadn’t met him at 18, I don’t think I would have chosen that lifestyle. What did I miss out on? Heartbreak, feeling used, regret, feeling bad about my poor decisions, worrying about the consequences of my own actions, danger of many kinds, mental anguish? I think I’m ok. I’m not saying woman who doesn’t meet her husband young is necessarily doing anything wrong. I’m also not saying that people are …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/26 10:06 PM
–	Women who have traits that would be undersireable in men should not bear sons Are you capable of reading an entire comment? I acknowledged that shorter men face dating challenges. You completely disregarded that, claiming I called it “chill.” I anticipated you mentioning my example of my father being irrelevant because he’s older, and mentioned my brother, who is in his early 30s, as well. Again, not to discount that there are challenges but as a counter that being a shorter man isn’t a “death sentence” when it comes to dating. Challenge, yes. A lost cause, no.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 04:17 AM
–	Women who have traits that would be undersireable in men should not bear sons I mean, it’s shorter than average but about 20th percentile in the US. It’s hardly notably short. Do I get some kind of discount or something for being “midget equivalent?” A free booster seat, maybe?	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 04:09 AM
–	Women who have traits that would be undersireable in men should not bear sons Well, they are on track to have estimated adult heights of right around their dad’s height; my husband is 6 foot so… by your logic they should be fine. I don’t know; they have a long way to go before marriage. Maybe the ladies will love their ability to eat entire antipasto platters, penchant for fart jokes, and laughs that mimic hyenas. Or they will outgrew at least some of that. I don’t disagree that dating as a shorter man is tougher in many ways and many women are weird about height. I reali…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 04:05 AM
–	Women who have traits that would be undersireable in men should not bear sons You realize the vast, vast majority of women are under 5 foot 8, correct? About 90th-95th percentile in the US at quick Google search. You think less than 10 percent of women should have kids? I’m 5 foot 1 and have boys. They happen to be tall for their age but I guess that was a dangerous gamble. Seriously this sub is quite inane sometimes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 03:42 AM
2	Men, as a group, have no room to demand women respect them There are many kinds of respect. I respect my husband in a different and stronger way than I respect someone’s accomplishments. I respect the work of the men who restored the power to my house after a storm, or who built the house I live in it. But I don’t respect them with my life and our kids lives or to make decisions for our family the way I do my husband. I respect my husband and his decisions almost entirely. I don’t like the phrasing “earned” his respect because it makes it seem it is a p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/12/25 02:53 PM
5	Women should not date, sleep with, or in any way sexually validate men who are conservative/right-wing Don’t worry. We’ve been married 17 years and happily so.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/12/25 02:38 AM
6	Women should not date, sleep with, or in any way sexually validate men who are conservative/right-wing Because it’s the word you used to in your post and I’m quoting it, in part because I think it’s a bizarre usage of the word… also what the other person who replied to this comment said.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/12/25 10:08 AM
11	Women should not date, sleep with, or in any way sexually validate men who are conservative/right-wing So I should tell my husband that I’m going to sleep on the sofa and don’t want to go to dinner with him because we agree on most political issues? Nah, too much work, easier just to “validate” him.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/12/25 02:12 AM
-1	My theory about why women do not usually look for stay at home husbands Because it’s counter natural desire. Men and women are different. Now, I’m sure someone has some example of a stay-at-home-dad who loves it and his wife who enjoys working outside the home but for the majority of men and women, it’s contrary to evolutionary behavior and natural roles. Women being the ones who carry and nurse children isn’t just a statement of that fact alone, it carries with it the implication that women’s bodies, hormones, and desires coincide much more closely with early child…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/12/25 08:37 PM
18	Forgiveness for past sins in dating No one is obligated to date her and she will carry trauma, but there’s much more to it than that. People shouldn’t belittle a sincere act of changing your ways. Also, if she started at 15, she is a victim in many ways. That’s heartbreaking. She was a child. I hope she gets the help she needs because I imagine that trauma stays with you your whole life. The Church is not a museum for saints, it’s a hospital for sinners. St. Paul on the road to Damascus. St. Augustine hearing a voice in a garden a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/12/25 11:22 PM
5	CMV: "I thought y'all chose the bear" is an immature response to women's frustration with dating The bear thing is just dumb. Obviously, you pick the man. I’ve lived in places where we had bears in the yard on occasion But you know what I’ve done a lot? Walked by some guy in the woods. Sometimes they ignore you; usually they smile and say something like “good afternoon” or “cute dog” or even something scary (but helpful) like “watch out for ground wasps.” So yes, I’d rather walk by some random guy and if I’m in the woods, there’s a decent chance I will. I contend that very few women would a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/12/25 06:22 PM
1	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. As for point 3, as far as a legal matter, I’m solely talking about no-fault divorce. I may personally have stronger opinions against almost any divorce, but for a legal matter, I’m strictly speaking about no-fault divorce. Obviously if someone is being abused, the most important thing is to support that person and his or her children from the abuser. Adultery, desertion, and “cruel treatment” are also historical grounds for at-fault divorces, so if the not “being nice” is to a level of cruelty, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 03:41 PM
3	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. Yes, people do bad things. People who do horrible things come from diverse backgrounds, communities, cultures, situations, etc. I’m talking statistics. I’m not saying that all children in single parent households are “doomed,” nor am I saying that no children in intact married family units do horrendous things. But statistically, yes, intact married couples are the best environment for children. This is for multiple reasons. 1) couples that show a commitment to marriage, particularly those who r…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 03:31 PM
5	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. I mean, I think my opinions would simultaneously anger everyone: 1) single motherhood isn’t a good thing for society. Children of single moms fare worse than children of comparable economic circumstances. On some metrics to appalling degrees. 2) ideally, children should be raised by a married couple. Both have responsibility for their kids and in nearly all cases, there is no excuse for abandoning your kids. None whatsoever. Marriage is important and builds good societies. Societies crumble with…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 02:32 PM
2	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. Also, you will likely edit your comment again but I did address a broader side of this as well. Copying and pasting what I already said…: In a broader sense, we often no longer recognize families as the first community and building blocks of society. We are an increasingly individualistic and selfish culture where we no longer think of the common good- including families and children.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 02:11 PM
2	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. You went back and edited your posts to attempt to make it look as if you only mentioned society disliking children. You also said I was making excuses for single moms so I addressed that point as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 02:06 PM
2	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. Ok, tabling that point, I was responding to your statement that I was “finding excuses” for why single moms are not viewed “favorably.” You are vacillating among multiple points and then when I address one insist you meant the other one, despite what you actually said. If you had even skimmed my comment, you would have seen I wasn’t excuse-finding- and explicitly called out the shield from criticism that seems to cover many single moms and leads to a lack of accountability for their actions. The…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 02:01 PM
4	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. …. Did you even read the entirety of my comment? Even skim it? Here. Here’s a segment for you: “some single moms (and others) act as if it’s verboten to ever suggest that a woman, even a woman with a repeated history of failed and “toxic” relationships, has played any role in their downfall. I think there is an understandable knee-jerk reaction to that. Children’s lives should not be pawns for adults’ (men or women) egos. Personal reflection, accountability, and recognization of your own faults …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 01:55 PM
4	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. It may be reductive but there are large segments of society that show an active disdain for what seems to be the mere existence of kids. I don’t know how anyone can post on Reddit and not see this undercurrent. Merely having a family photo, especially if there are more than two kids- or suggesting that kids have the right to be in public (even if the poster is “disrupted” by child noises at his favorite restaurant, Chuck E. Cheese). The names used are vile and dehumanizing. In a broader sense, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 01:51 PM
9	The hate for single moms comes from jealousy. I think some of the vitriol toward single moms is unwarranted and unproductive, and I agree with your ending point that it’s sometimes tied into society’s increased hatred and disdain toward children… Which is a huge issue. But… I think there are real concerns about single motherhood that should be able to be discussed. However, a lot of the discourse does focus on irrelevant issues and only vaguely tangential grievances, and sidesteps the actual major issue with a lot of single parenthood. I th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 01:31 PM
6	Most High Value Men will cheat, and if your Husband doesnt cheat, hes most likely not High Value, and u claiming he is doesnt change the fact that he isnt. I’m not going to argue that it would be much easier for the vast majority of women to find some random guy to sleep with than vice versa. Obviously that’s true. I also won’t argue that men tend to have higher sex drives than women…. But this is irrelevant to what I commented so I’m unsure why you responded with these “points?”	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 10:00 PM
10	Most High Value Men will cheat, and if your Husband doesnt cheat, hes most likely not High Value, and u claiming he is doesnt change the fact that he isnt. My husband is intelligent, is very good looking, makes good money, and is charismatic. I don’t know what “cool Instagram” means so he’s likely not that. I would bet money (his money technically but point stands) that he has not cheated on me. I don’t think my husband is perfect (no one is) but I think it’s unbecoming and disrespectful to air any of his perceived faults but he’s a great man, husband, and father… and I’d be shocked if he cheated on me or on anything more serious than looking up cr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 09:52 PM
2	CMV: GFs should not cook for their BFs I’m fairly “traditional” and there were plenty of ahem… “wife privileges” that were reserved for marriage. But I’m pretty sure I brought cookies on about our second date. I’ve also given baked goods (literal baked goods, no weird euphemisms) to the neighbors, the mail carrier, church bake sales… I’ve also cooked meals for plenty of people from family and friends to acquaintances who had a baby or surgery, etc. I don’t view cooking as a marital or romantic activity. I like to cook and it’s an eas…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 07:14 PM