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Big-Candidate3238 Archive

View 1 post and 37 comments by Big-Candidate3238 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
46

Dating After DivorceBig-Candidate3238/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:07 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Sorry man. Felt the same for over a decade after the divorce. Dated a ton. Saw through women and laughed at their pathetic ways to manipulate me into a relationship. All women are bad. None are ever to be trusted. Sound familiar? Fully prepared to stay single until the end. Didn’t stop dating, but stopped looking if you know what I mean. That is until I met a woman I was fully prepared to dump after a a few dates like usual, but with whom I felt home all of a sudden. Now we are planning our life…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 12:50 PM
2

Most divorces are initiated by women. Sometimes for good reasons like physical, mental, and substance abuse by men, but predominantly for ephemeral reasons of not being seen, loving but not being in love, etc. This leaves good men taking chances with divorced women. So, yeah, there is a reason that a woman is divorced, just like there is a reason a woman has never been married.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:22 PM
3

Sounds like you were heavily invested, and she got cold feet. I am sorry you are dealing with that. Feet can, and often do, warm up, but question is can you trust this person anymore? Hope it works out.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:16 PM
10

There is a reason she hasn’t been married and has no kids. I wouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you depend on her good graces: living in her house, helping raise your kids, etc. Also, the whole concept of a non-parent helping make discipling decisions about your kid is foreign to me. Haven’t you read Cinderella?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 01:52 PM
5

It’s a special talent to select mental patients for wives. What gives you conviction that you will lose all or half? It’s half of what you made while married, not the original $500k. Plus, sounds like you had no kids with her, so no child support. Maybe some alimony for a year or two.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:40 PM
2

Except for me search was futile. At least the online one. Met a ton of women. Dated longish term maybe 10% of them (all hot or hot-ish) and 2 of them wanted to move-in. But my heart was silent though dick yelled “let’s go, bitch”. Anyway, I have set boundaries, told them not ready to move in. Both broke up with me after a few months and again I felt nothing - like, ok, bye. No anger, no regrets, nothing. They were pretty pissed though. Guess they felt they wasted their time. Then one day a co-wo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 05:20 PM
6

Been there. Divorced over a decade ago. Bitter af the entire time. Finding flaws in women, setting boundaries, never going to get married again, etc. But then you’ll meet HER and you’ll feel you’ve arrived home. Point here, mate, is that you tend to set boundaries when you hook up with chics who are wrong for you. When you’ll meet HER, not the best looking/not the youngest/not the healthiest, the boundaries and other bs go down the shitter bc she completes you - you feel whole again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 02:15 AM
2

Agree with Vollen: don’t go for free consultations on the phone - hire one. She needs to move close to your place until divorce is final. Inyour divorce settlement agreement you should stipulate no moving far and definitely not out of state so as to avoid emotionally impacting the kids due to your inability to parent given long distance. You are a parent with as much rights as her. Don’t be bullied.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 09:07 PM
2

So the divorce is not final and she just moves the kids away? That’s a potential hardship for the kids. Explore the parental kidnapping topic with your lawyer. Also, understand that whatever time you agree to will be your time with them for next 13-18 years, so fight hard to maximize the time. Also, don’t confuse visitation with overnights. You want the overnights.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 09:02 PM
5

I would discourage lying to yourself. Admit that’s it’s not just hard, it’s earth-shattering, but it’s your and their new reality. Your love for them is a constant, and that’s what matters. Grieve it, get closure with the ex, and move on to your and their new reality. Get into your brain that your kids don’t live separately from you. They live with you, just not all the time. Understand that your family is still there - you are just down one person, but that person loves them as much as you do. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 04:23 PM
1

Show me the dotted line, OP. I’ll sign my name under every word. The thinking about more kids, the heartache from fearing my kid would feel left out, the willingness to go 100/0 on custody if mom was willing, the understanding that mom not being in the picture is bad for the kid, and the desire to wake up to kids. What’s stopping me: I can’t do that to my sweet girl, and I take note of the risk that while 50% of first marriages fail, 60% of second marriages fail (in the US at least). Geez, I did…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 03:43 PM
1

Thanks bud. Appreciate it. I know, not worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:49 AM
1

Unless there is assigned seating, do this. Take two physical tickets and take pic of one of them. There are your three tickets. As for being slighted, a different and painful issue. Sorry, man.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 06:48 PM
4

Are you joking? Her taking the kids to another state without your agreement is parental kidnapping. Here is my experience: When you sign a divorce settlement agreement, it will have a clause about ex-spouses changing residences. If she decides to move, she will have to give you a notice (e.g. two months). If she decides to move to a location where you will struggle to see kids as per the terms of the agreement (e.g. every other weekend), your lawyer will file for a court hearing. If you can prov…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 06:39 PM
2

Might be the deepest perspective anyone has given me. I took a screenshot to remember it. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 04:15 AM
2

The way you and HistoricalRich280 describe it is accurate. It’s the formalisation of the loss of the family via the introduction of the new guy is what hurts. The knife, which I thought was out, has been twisted, hitting new depths. Thanks for verbalising what was in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 05:12 PM
2

Thank you for the kind words. Interesting you say that. I’ve not heard of loyalty to emotion over a person. Makes one think.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 09:17 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 09:05 PM
6

I dated this chick once. Divorced her first husband “because fck you, that’s why”… basically because the poor bastard was an eye sore while sitting on the couch after a long day at work (a verbatim response to my question why she left him). Has a kid with him too. Then proceeds to marry another guy and has a kid with him as well. The guy turned out a basket case, do she leaves him. By the time she meets me she a double divorcee with two kids from different guys, angry, and vengeful. Sues her sec…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:44 PM
5

Yes. Planned.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:31 PM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:10 PM
4

Fair
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:10 PM
5

Raising three kids is tough. Don’t know how people afford day care, etc. Stay strong and rational no matter how much you feel down. One suggestion: create a new family tradition with just you and the kids. Once a year, take a week and go somewhere. Post photos on FB or Instagram. It will create lasting visual memories and also support your case as a caring father.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 02:17 PM
13

Thanks for this, I appreciate your input. I don’t entirely agree, but point taken.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 01:53 PM
8

Sorry old pal, it sucks. Your youngest is about the age of my daughter when the d-word was said by my wife. I suspect both of you may have been sleep-deprived and argued a lot. One or two instances of you sleeping on a couch (oh, the couch, telltale sign). Dare I say a fairly sexless marriage? Yes, that’s me at the time. She may or may not be fooling around, but, as cruel as it may sound, it doesn’t really matter as it’s but a symptom of a concluded marriage. Stay strong for the sake of the kids…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 01:42 PM
1

My lawyer straight up told me to not bother going to court as judges tend to side with mothers unless a known crck whre or such. I never understood why this was never made a political issue on presidential campaign trails. Half the country is divorced. 60-80% of divorces are initiated by women. Granted in many cases drugs and abuse are involved, it has to be a minority of the cases. Men are taken for a ride: children are taken away (“you get to see your child every other weekend”), men’s finance…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 12:56 PM
6

Wisely said and thanks for your input. Problem is I am afraid giving a chance to an interested woman. There were several. I am still the same person who was found to be inadequate by the love of my life, so my scared mind is telling me it will happen again. I am beginning to wonder if I am 10 years late for therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 12:45 PM
3

Thank you for your perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 11:38 AM
11

Thanks Sader. Stories like yours put things in perspective. I can’t begin to imagine the agony you went through. Every knee will bend indeed. Stay strong and thank you for this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 09:56 AM
1

Yes. That.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:51 AM
12

Because that would be giving myself a pssy bandaid. It will treat the symptom, not cure the disease.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:49 AM
7

First of all, I am so sorry you had to live through finding out about her affair. That’s just betrayal squared. Second, I thought I was the only man who felt that the ex kept hurting me every time she had a chance after the divorce. I was surprised and puzzled. She already destroyed my and my daughter’s world by breaking up our family, leaving no full-time male role model for our young one, but she just kept giving it to me by blocking all requests for a couple of hours with our daughter on her …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:41 AM
5

It’s hard for me to see it that way. Maybe. You did trigger a memory, though. 6 months before she told me it’s over and when I was still expecting to be married forever, I accidentally stumbled on audio recordings of me during arguments. Forget why I looked at her phone, maybe I was looking at her calendar or something like that. But I try not to vilify as I could start feeling sorry for myself and that’s the road away from the truth. Truth is I hurt and it sucks because I thought I moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:23 AM
5

That’s the second time “loss” is mentioned in the comments. There is something to it. I am thinking it through. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:14 AM
2

Thanks Milo.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:50 AM
2

You’re likely correct. Now just need to close it somehow.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:32 AM
1

Thanks for your perspective. Let me give that some thought.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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