BigMercReflections Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?	Rant	BigMercReflections	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 04:28 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? Yes, people are in a fallen state. We’re all flawed and make mistakes. But that doesn’t mean our mistakes define who we are. Recognizing our shared imperfection should actually lead us to more compassion for each other. Even if a marriage didn’t work out, we can still see our former spouse as a human being who is imperfect — just like we are. Sometimes two imperfect people simply weren’t compatible. The important thing is to look inward and ask: What in me needs to grow or heal moving forward?	/r/Divorce_Men	12/03/26 04:19 PM
1	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? When we start blaming our ex-wife for not appreciating the sacrifices we made, it might be worth asking a deeper question. Sometimes that pain comes from an internal belief that our value comes from what we do for others. Many of us learned that in childhood when certain emotional needs weren’t met. Without realizing it, we can look to our spouse to fill those deeper needs. But no human being can carry that responsibility. Only God can truly meet those places in us. When we put that weight on an…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/03/26 04:16 PM
1	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? Because we haven't felt our own inner pain... uncomfortable emotions like shame or abandonment wounds.. so, we react the cycle...subconsciously we are trying to get needs met that were not met in child hood.. and we use our partner to do it, same goes for women.. divorce will keep happening if we don't look inwardly	/r/Divorce_Men	11/03/26 01:07 PM
1	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? What do you mean by your wife treated you like shit ? Are you saying that other people can control how you respond to them? Like you dont have the choice in how the words and actions of others effect you ?	/r/Divorce_Men	11/03/26 01:04 PM
1	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? Why do you think you attract "crazy takers' ?	/r/Divorce_Men	11/03/26 10:55 AM
3	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? Exactly! That awesome to hear yoir doing the work. Same here bro 😎	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 08:30 PM
2	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? I hear what your saying.. but its not your fault. You were not responsible for being abandoned, and honestly the person who abandoned or yoi felt abandoned by, its not their fault either, however they may be responsible. Our bodies store memory of trauma like abandonment, and our bodies will also miss perceive reality and so we might think we are abandoned because we feel abandoned in our bodies and that carries into adult hood cemented in a belief that, for example people will always leave in t…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 06:44 PM
-3	Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ? Well. Your comment is a breath of fresh air! Glad to see someone else can see the bigger picture. Yeah exactly.. when the first marriage doesnt work out, that should be the warning light to take a look at yourself.. the moment we shift to blame our exes doesn't even matter if they cheated.. thats when we are not in a healthy place. If we always work on ourselves and stop judging others especially our ex's our next marriage can be a wonderful thing... but thats easier said than done, alot of bad …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 06:36 PM
1	Depression killed my marriage..... update 3...Thank you.. Meds can help short term... as in suppress feelings.. but it cant eliminate them, they just come up somewhere else. Personally I think depression is a wonderful thing not of course from how it feels because thats terrible, but instead what it can help you do yourself... realize its a signal that something in your life is not serving your best interest and so once your aware of it you can begin to fix it... but not through behavior modification alone.. but through action steps in the body.. like …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 04:25 PM
2	What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit. A dysregulated one	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 04:02 PM
1	Depression killed my marriage..... update 3...Thank you.. You can't avoid your grief. If you want to heal, you have feel. Everyone including myself would rather not have to face uncomfortable emotions like grief... but its the only way to find joy.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 04:01 PM
5	The shift that changed everything for me That's so awesome to hear ! Exactly.. who you were before the divorce, the identity. Things like divorce force us too look internal at things we have been supressing even before divorce. Same happened to me, I was forced to face my grief, to face my hopelessness for the future without my wife.. but through my relationship with God, I was able to pull myself out of despair and thinking of a dark future. Not saying things are fixed or anything, some days ill have a thought that reminds me of her a…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 01:12 PM