~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Why Re-marry after Divorce?Fix yourself and fix your picker. Marriage is awesome when you have the right partner. Finding that person is another thing..... My state of mind right now is that I will NEVER remarry when this one ends up in the dumper. But I also know that I WANT someone to share life with - not someone who doesn't trust me, second guesses EVERYTHING I do / say and makes me feel completely inadequate. Who wants that? | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:04 PM |
| 3 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Amen brother.... I came home in a great mood the other day to get grilled on "why" it took 30 minutes get home from work - which is 30 minutes away. Immediately ruined the entire evening. Just a glimpse of the frustration of daily life being in this type of relationship. Exhausting is an understatement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 03:47 PM |
| 7 | How often do they come back?Mine "tested the water" a time or two to gage my interest.... I didn't take the bait... Never take the bait... Move on and don't look back brother... | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 09:16 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife's' current Boyfriend called me to ask about "My Side of the Story"You made the right choice - no need to interact with this dude. My ex's affair partner did the same thing - except he did it ONCE he was outed by his wife about the affair and begged me to tell my wife at the time to leave him alone because he was "trying to work things out with his wife". Total bullshit - I told him to fuck off and best of luck with the reconciliation. (I could hear his wife in the background chewing his ass - so that made me smile at least!!) Needless to say - BOTH marriages e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 05:01 PM |
| 2 | Dating women with kidsEvery situation is different - early after the divorce, I dated a few women with teenage kids still at home. Although the first relationship was 6-8 months - I did NOT support her children in any way financially as I was merely the dude dating their mom.. As long as you're dating and NOT living under the same roof - your finances are YOURS and hers are HERS. Any support given from you is your decision to make. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 08:28 PM |
| 9 | Paying for DatesTrust your gut - leave her at the curb. I'm old school and don't mind picking up the check - but someone who never offers or avoids it isn't worth the effort. Next time you're out with her - pull the old "I left my wallet in the car" excuse and ask her politely to pick up the check. Her body language will tell you EVERYTHING at that moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 08:41 PM |
| 2 | How petty to be splitting stuff?True statement.... I see people's shit sell for a dollar at estate sales all the time!!! Whole tables shit people spent a lifetime accumulating selling for NOTHING. Some items won't even bring a bid - so they group it with more crap to sell for a dollar. Walk away - start anew. You won't miss any of it!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 06:23 PM |
| 4 | Divorce and DestructionAllow yourself the time to grieve. My divorce was several years ago - so the pain has faded along with my recollection of how truly awful of a time it was for me. We were married 17+ years, together for 25+. Emotionally it was death by 1000 cuts. Playing the whole scenario over and over again on replay in my mind and the sheer betrayal / callousness my wife displayed wiped me out for MONTHS. I was on anti-depressants for a year through the whole process. For what seemed like weeks - I would have… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 05:00 PM |
| 3 | Every now and then you get a good little reminderDon't get me started!! Her 30 year old chronically unemployed man-child of a kid living in the home - eating everything in sight only to have her buy SPECIFIC shit for HIM - yet he eats / drinks MY shit!! Grinds my gears every goddamn time... To be free again - that is the goal!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 05:50 PM |
| 8 | Anyone ever send your in-laws proof your wife cheated?I did - was NOT a good idea at the time. As others have said, its HER family - NOT yours. MIL was NOT on my side or "rooting" for us like she said she was. Got bum-rushed by her and the wife in front of the kids yelling and screaming at me how I was the "piece of shit". If you want to know where your alliances are - by all means, open that door. Otherwise - beware that you'll get blamed for her infidelity and made out to the villain of HER story. I learned a hard lesson that day - and do NOT com… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/25 04:36 PM |
| 3 | Dating After DivorceGive yourself some grace. It is natural to think about the ex when things start going well for you. I wouldn't categorize it as "missing" the ex - as much as it could be just thinking of better times before the dumpster fire of divorce happened!! Take comfort in the fact that you have this amazing new woman and the opportunity to explore where your relationship will go with her. As others have said - take it slow and be honest with her and yourself about your feelings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 03:33 PM |
| 6 | "Family"A little story here - I've been friends with this dude for 40 years.... He's been divorced from wife 2 for 30+ years and has been married to wife 3 for most of those 30+ years. I witnessed this behavior at his ONLY son's wedding (Son happens to be from wife 2). Dad was his best man and organized much of the wedding reception - along with Wife 3. Fast forward to " picture time" during the reception. Son asks dad "Hey - can we (Bride, Groom, Father, Mother) get a picture of just us four". Dad has … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 04:46 PM |
| 3 | Well, I started the processIt's tough and it surely isn't easy my friend... Your kids are grieving the loss of the family structure. Part of the divorce process is the "Kids in the middle" education - which some parents ignore entirely and use the kids as a weapon against the ex. Let your kids grieve and be sad about the changes coming their way. Above all - let them know that you love them and would move heaven and earth for them and that they are NOT the reason you are ending your marriage. Given time - hopefully your k… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/25 05:37 PM |
| 6 | What to doSorry brother. If I were in your shoes - and I'm VERY close to it at this point - it's time to pull the rip cord and start the process! Best of luck with whichever path you decide to take. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 06:32 PM |
| 16 | What are some if the red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you missed?Some common ones: First - the constant "miscommunication" and having to explain what I meant or intended. I honestly believed it would get better once we were under the same roof.... Boy was that a mistake. Secondly - probably the most telling as well... Not knowing how this woman "fights" - I have to relitigate every transgression ever perceived in this woman's mind every time we have an argument - which are more frequent as of late. What joy!! Finally - and for sure NOT a complete list by any … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 03:30 PM |
| 2 | Who initiated the separation/divorce? You or the wife?I'd take that as a warning too brother... My ex did that exact same thing. Updates from their nights out and telling me how "lucky" she was to have me as an understanding husband - only to find out the stories she told me were with HER as the main character, not her "slutty" friends. If she's going out with girl friends who are looking to hook up - your wife is going to get hit on a lot!! Just sayin - her so called "friends" are also going to urge her to cheat on you as she gets attention from r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/24 04:30 PM |
| 4 | Fundamentals: Why You Are HereSpot on, brother!!! Thanks for the read - I needed that!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 08:42 PM |
| 10 | How did you move on?For me there wasn't a secret to it. Time & inner reflection about the relationship and understanding why it failed. I gave up alcohol as that fueled other destructive tendencies when I drank. (Depression, "missing her", and blaming myself for her cheating.) It took me the better part of 3 to 4 years to get to the point where my anxiety wasn't at a level 10 just knowing I would run into her and her paramour at my kids events or even out in public somewhere. I finally just "let shit go" and forgav… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/24 10:00 PM |
| 18 | Is your ex-wife better off after divorce?Honestly - I don't know and really don't care. I'm sure she would tell you she's better off without me - as I would say the exact same thing about her. I have enough self esteem to know that I'm a good man for any woman who chooses to be with me. Divorced for 12 years -ex (40) me (42). Kids are all raised and living their own lives - so I don't speak to her / haven't spoken directly to her in years... That is the gift that keeps on giving!!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/24 09:17 PM |
| 9 | It’s All DoneSorry brother.... My ex got a chunk of my 401K when we split in my early 40's. She made more than I did on paper, however did not contribute to a 401K as she was self employed for much of our marriage. Needless to say - I don't miss that woman for one second, and what she took from me in the divorce was money well spent on my part... Good luck with your new freedom and endless possibilities!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/24 09:08 PM |
| 5 | Remind me never to get married againGood luck with the process this time around!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/24 05:52 PM |
| 1 | Time to go?If you are miserable and she isn't willing to work on it - then you know the decision you have to make and the path forward. You deserve to be happy, valued and desired by your person... Your wife should be all about satisfying her man!!! Sorry that isn't the case currently. Best of luck moving forward!! Would like to know how things go for you - as I'm in a very similar situation as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 09:20 PM |
| 3 | AdviceReally up to you. Personally - I'd give her 16K in cash. The QDRO route potentially diminishes your returns for the immediate future on your 401K. She will still have to report it as income and pay taxes on it - although the QDRO can be rolled into her retirement account - likely she will use it as a payday and buy a bunch of shit for herself. I'd rather her start off with a 16K "nest egg" than a 32K one!!! Mine did exactly that with the QDRO she received from my account. I never heard how the I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/24 10:32 PM |
| 5 | Pros and cons of life after divorce?Good luck brother.... Praying it is amicable and works out for you!! Mid 50's here - not wanting to get back into the dating thing, but realize it is most likely in my somewhat near future. At this point in my life - I'm unwilling to compromise on my standards and what I expect to give and receive from my partner. Will definitely take whatever time I need for myself to reconnect with family and friends and to "redefine" myself through exercise, therapy and life experience!!! No rush at all... It… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 06:58 PM |
| 3 | Ex keeping last nameMy wife and your GF must be sisters... Just wait until some junk mail shows up with your ex-wife's name on it!! Talk about someone losing their shit..... | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/24 06:42 PM |
| 2 | Freshly divorced and deeply depressed but also glad it’s over and know it’s for the best.From experience - focus on YOU and when those emotions come back - remember the reasons WHY you divorced instead of the reasons why you married her to begin with. Keep the good times stuff in your memory to reflect on when you're in a better place overall to maintain your perspective. The bad times are what drove you to divorce - whatever your case may be - remember those reasons in particular when your emotions flood your thoughts and you try to tell yourself "it wasn't THAT bad"... Dude - it w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/24 06:40 PM |
| 1 | How long did you talk divorce before filing?Lucky fella!!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/24 08:36 PM |
| 2 | What are some signs you saw in the beginning but ignored that later contributed to the reason to your divorceFor me - thinking that our "communication gap" would get better if we were married and living together. If there are communication issues / disconnects in the dating phase - believe me - they get MUCH WORSE once you're married. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/24 07:33 PM |
| 6 | In case you are missing your ex-wife today...Dang - sounds like we were married to the same woman!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/24 05:00 PM |
| 11 | Has anyone divorced due to lack of intimacy or sexual attraction?Yes - they are reasons enough for divorce when other areas of the relationship are lacking as well. As others have said - cheating is never the answer. It leads to WAY more complications than it is ever worth. In my opinion - being single would be far better than being in a loveless / intimacy-free marriage. Life is too short to spend it unhappy or begging for attention from the one person who should be showering you with it!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/24 07:04 PM |
| 3 | How do you actually know if you’re ready to date again?Don't rush - give it time. New relationships are NOT indicative of what life together forever will look like. We tend to forget that VERY important tidbit sometimes. Have you had your first fight / disagreement with this new woman yet? You'll learn A LOT about her in how she handles a disagreement with you and her process in dealing with it. Everyone is different in how we process / manage the stress, loss of a marriage. For me - I waited 6-8 months after the divorce was final to start dating - … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/23 04:56 PM |
| 2 | Why do women complicate their lives so much?Love it... Life 360 - screenshots of me at X location when I'm 2 blocks away - then being called a liar because the app "can never be wrong".. Going on a road trip with her sitting beside me - google maps tells us to turn right onto a non-existent road - I say "see - apps can be wrong" - then I'm still the asshole for being disrespectful... It never ends. Don't get me started about the ring doorbell and home webcam stuff!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 10:27 PM |
| 4 | Hating Being ComfortableKeep searching for the right one... You'll find her. If you decide to remarry - that is up to you. I get the "emptiness" thoughts... Life seems better having that ONE person to share it with... The WRONG person to share it with makes it 10000000 times worse...which is why you came to this sub in the first place. Good luck to you on your journey!!! Don't feel guilty for actually enjoying being single!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 06:23 PM |
| 8 | Name one of the best things that has come from your divorce.How about getting guilt tripped when seeing a mess, cleaning it up without being asked or provoked to do so - to only be told "so now I'm a horrible house keeper too?" I thought I was being helpful - she sees it as an attack on her character... I don't get it at all. Eggshells it is!!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 04:26 PM |
| 1 | When did you know?Obviously 4 exes are a red flag - for her it was abusive husbands and infidelity on the husbands part as well. I'm neither a woman beater or a cheater, so I thought I would be good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 07:21 PM |
| 9 | Looks like divorce is comingSit down and talk through the issues with your wife. If you decide it is best to end the marriage - get an attorney and file. If you can agree on asset / debt split WITHOUT it being controlled by a judge, the better you'll be. Divorce is a woefully painful process - sorry that you're going through this stuff... If she is recording everything - my guess is she wants out too. Talk to her - hopefully you can make decisions that do not bring the kids into the middle of it all. This is about mommy an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 06:35 PM |
| 5 | When did you know?I'm husband number 5 for my current wife - she's wife number 2 and there will not be a number 3 when this one is done - that's for sure!!!! I'm betting I join the ranks before Christmas or shortly after the New Year!!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 10:58 PM |
| 1 | To my friends and family: Where were you when I needed youFor me and my situation - I internalize a lot of emotion / stress. I don't outwardly ASK for help or give the appearance that I need it. My friends and family are supportive whenever I ASK for help or bring up an issue. But I have to seek out that support when I want it - they don't call or show up out of the blue and offer assistance or check on my well being. It is on me to know when I NEED outside help and spend time rebuilding / nurturing those relationships when the time comes. I'm not one … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 04:05 PM |
| 1 | Wives who had affairs, did their relationship last with their AP?My ex married her AP and they have been together for close to 10 years now - probably like 13 if I knew the "real" date she started sleeping with him.... I'm blessed to have had this man come into my life... Every day without the ex is a good day... | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Is there a right reason for staying?Do yourself and your daughter a huge favor and end the marriage. "Staying together for the kids" however noble that may sound, isn't in YOUR or your child's best interest. You'll be a better parent when your environment is healthy and allows for YOU to thrive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/23 04:48 PM |
| 1 | I guess it's about to be over.You will.... Speaking from experience.. You'll date because we (as men) want to feel loved and appreciated by the opposite sex. You'll eventually crave companionship / affection / intimacy - and you'll meet someone who will fill that need for you. Whether it leads to marriage is a choice you'll have to make. This from a guy who is rapidly heading towards divorce number two!!! Stay strong brother... You'll come out of this process a better man!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 03:33 PM |
| 2 | Guys.. I'm doing all the right things, but I'm just fucking miserableSorry to hear about your struggle. As others have indicated - you are absolutely doing the right stuff by working on yourself and focusing on YOU. It isn't a shame to get on some anti-depressants to get you through this. I took them for roughly a year after my divorce and got off of them as soon as those feelings of being helpless subsided. You'll discover your new identity soon enough - and hopefully you LOVE YOURSELF enough to go out into public spaces on your own or try new experiences SOLO o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 02:51 PM |
| 3 | The bitterness has peaked.Your self awareness and your ability to compartmentalize your situation is to be commended!! From what you have written - you are going to be OKAY. There will come a day that seeing your Ex will not trigger ANYTHING in you. Yes - it will take time, but it does get better and when that day finally arrives - hopefully you're as self aware of it then as you are of your situation now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/23 03:34 PM |
| 1 | Can i get a free consultation with the same family law attorney that my spouse already talked to, as long as she isn't a paying client and didn't pay a retainer fee?I don't know about your state laws concerning it - my state ALLOWS couples to share an attorney - although most of the people I talked to didn't recommend it for various reasons. If you can agree to terms without it getting nasty - then I would say you're probably OK going the shared path. Otherwise - get your own attorney who will act / advise you on YOUR behalf. My 2 cents worth.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/23 09:13 PM |
| 3 | Tell me the good things about getting divorcedI'm sorry this has been your experience with it. For me - sure the process in itself SUCKS - no bones about it... Reading through others' stories on here - I would classify mine as a relatively EASY one. We agreed on asset / debt division, parenting plan, child support and other details WITHOUT having the court / judge determine what that would look like. What happens AFTER the decree is finalized and the dust settles is an entirely different story and each of us has our battle scars to prove it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/23 05:23 PM |
| 26 | Tell me the good things about getting divorcedIt is literally a NEW beginning... You get to make it whatever you choose. Eat what you want - when you want. Talk to anyone you want - without the STBXW questioning your loyalty / motives. Make spur of the moment decisions / plans without getting the 3rd degree about it. Spend YOUR hard earned cash ANY Goddamn way you see fit. Buy a convertible, get a new suit, take a vacation and chill out on the beach. Gain some sanity / clarity back in your life without the arguments / fighting about dumb, i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/23 03:02 PM |
| 2 | It's over.Best of luck on your journey my friend.... Keep your head up and always remember that you're AWESOME and will be happy again VERY VERY SOON!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 05:18 PM |
| 2 | Hard to tell if we’re divorcing?!?!It seems like you're done... As painful as it seems - get out while you still have your youth / dignity!! Dead bedroom / separate sleeping arrangements are NOT good and you absolutely deserve better!!! Best of luck with your situation!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/23 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Nearing DivorceYou will!! It will come much sooner than you think it will. Once you get into the mindset that works for your situation - you'll realize how happy you CAN be and will work your ass off to achieve it!!! Best of luck my friend.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/23 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Did you ever feel like getting back together with ur ex?NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't fall into that trap!! I'm sure you think she's attractive - you likely wouldn't have married her otherwise. No matter how gorgeous she may be - the differences that brought you to deciding to DIVORCE her should always trump a fleeting moment of how pretty / sexy you think she is. My wife is crazy sexy to me - but believe me, if / when we spllt up - NO WAY AM I EVER SIGNING UP FOR THAT SHIT SHOW AGAIN!! Those thoughts will pass - I've been divorced from my first wife for the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/23 09:23 PM |
| 6 | Need to rant this morningI hate the thought of being "alone" - but being unhappy in a marriage is worse than being alone. I'm reconsidering my position on the institution of marriage and have decided (for now) - that I will NOT remarry if / when this thing goes sideways!!! I appreciate the note and this thread / sub. I pray that if I cannot "right the ship" this time around - that I don't close myself off to the possibility of ever finding another shipmate to sail with!!! Divorce has a way of hardening the heart for som… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/23 04:55 PM |
| 9 | Need to rant this morningNo need to try and understand it... My 2nd wife absolutely pitched a fit about ANYTHING that was from my previous marriage. I threw or gave away clothes, furniture and anything that the ex might have gifted me or was in photos of me with the ex. Sold my house, car, toys...etc... as well. Still get reminded of it to this day - EVEN AFTER DOING ALL THAT SHIT!!! Women are crazy - don't try to understand it... We are entirely separate creatures and use logic completely different than they do. Needle… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/23 02:55 PM |
| 2 | She did a quiet separationThank you for sharing your story. It sounds eerily familiar with my current situation. I'm sad to say that I'll soon join the club - again!!!! Life is too short to be unhappy - period. Best of luck with your journey!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/23 08:10 PM |
| 17 | Thought I Was Doing The Right ThingsDude - you basically just wrote my situation almost word for word.... Same thing - bought dream home, spent countless hours renovating, planning together, etc. I'm 10 years past the divorce - kept the family home for years after she left. I didn't realize how AMAZING it felt to sell that home to another family that appreciated all of the blood, sweat and tears that I put into it - so their family could get a fresh start in their 'New Home". I also didn't realize how much emotional baggage was ke… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 06:19 PM |
| 1 | I’m All Over The PlaceI'm sorry to hear you're struggling... It is part of the grieving process unfortunately. You have every right to feel the way you do. Understand those feelings, process them and focus your energy on how you will feel TOMORROW. Everyone is different in how they process a divorce. I agree with others that recommend to NOT date seriously for a year afterwards. I made the mistake of trying to fill the loneliness void by dating within the first 6 months after the divorce. For me - I was an emotional … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/23 03:58 PM |
| 4 | It’s evil how fear can keep you from doing what’s best for you.Same boat brother.... I feel ya. My advice is to get the courage to change it! Either through counseling or divorce. You know your worth - and it SUCKS to feel "alone" even in a house with your wife. It is never easy - but you'll find happiness in the outcome when the dust settles!!! Good luck and God Speed!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/23 10:25 PM |
| 5 | Ex flexing over settlementMy experience was similar - the ex got a decent payout from my 401K - even though she had a 401K available to her through her workplace during our marriage and put very little into it. Anyway - that's another story... The ex takes the lump sum payout from the 401K - and blows it on shit. A new motorcycle for the scumbag she left me for, new wardrobe for the "new and improved" her, furniture for the new house...etc. Needless to say - she blew through the whole settlement in a matter of weeks. I l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/23 03:15 PM |
| 21 | Ex wife wants to meet up for a beer and talksDon't do it bro... Keep those memories tucked away as just that... Move forward with your AMAZING life!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/23 10:19 PM |
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