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Birb-brained Archive

View 0 posts and 722 comments by Birb-brained on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:22 PM
2

Some years I earn double what my partner does and other years I earn less. I have no issue with it. The times we struggle are the years where I earn less because we can’t afford to have as much fun and luxuries. We have a total share attitude. All our money is our family’s money, it doesn’t matter who earned it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:09 AM
2

Not many people want an old dad for their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 08:06 AM
3

No. The only red flag is if someone isn’t emotionally mature enough to reflect on how their upbringing might have affected them and to do the personal work to make sure they don’t become a product of their trauma. It’s very very possible to be raised in non-ideal conditions, and become an incredible, inspiring adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:02 PM
1

I had this conversation with my partner the other day and said honestly I think the best thing to do is to have that little dance where you both offer to pay, then one of you relents and allows the other to pay, then you can return the favour next time. Hope that makes sense. I would be a little bit put off if the other person immediately jumped to splitting the bill. It gives off a penny pinching impression and as a generous person myself who would never suggest splitting bills in a romantic si…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:55 PM
21

Can’t think of anything worse than sharing a meal with someone I have no interest in. Sounds awkward. But if that’s what someone wants to do, have at it. Reminds me of pumping and dumping which is shitty but there’s nothing I can do about people doing that, so I don’t think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 02:20 PM
7

Agreed. There is no should or shouldn’t, just do whatever feels right for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 06:59 PM
2

Yeah I don’t think exciting is a word I’d associate with painting/drawing either but I definitely wouldn’t describe it as boring. It’s filling your time with something you’re passionate about, that’s the opposite of boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 04:05 PM
1

I’m at the gym to work out too but everyone in there makes normal conversation with each other. I’m not encouraging men to hit on women but all the gyms here generally have a good atmosphere and people just freely chat.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:24 PM
2

Hmmm in which case I have no idea if I’ve been cold approached, but I still don’t think I have? People talk to me all the time but I think it’s just general friendliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 12:52 PM
2

So what is cold approaching?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 11:01 AM
10

At least someone mentioned it. I got a bit butthurt from the painting comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:17 PM
–

Hahahah staying at home is pretty accurate but no I’ve never been like cold hit on that I can remember (bare in mind I’m 35 so I’m thinking back 15 years here) I have definitely had people I know who’ve liked me type of thing but never had a guy stop and ask me out or something without knowing me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:58 PM
6

Same tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:52 PM
3

If he’s made it to that point then he very likely isn’t type 2. No trial needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:17 PM
35

No, not really. It depends if it’s just an unfortunate lack of opportunity type thing and they are actually a nice but shy person, or whether they are somehow really unpleasant people where it’s really obvious why they’ve never had a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:16 PM
2

Well I’m a red flag then. Oh well, it’s too late for my poor husband now, I’ll let him know he’s made a giant mistake with me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 08:48 AM
0

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 01:51 PM
1

In my experience the uglier the guy the more likely he is to cheat or attempt cheating. That’s just anecdotal obviously but I think it’s to do with the low self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 01:50 PM
–

I am intensely loyal, I would have questioned how well he knew me to really think I could do something like that. I’d have seen it as him not really knowing or understanding my character. I’d have 100% accepted and done a paternity test but it would have dented the trust we’d built in our relationship. Stuff like that didn’t even cross either of our minds when we found out we were having our son. And surprise surprise, he came out looking just like his dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 07:16 PM
1

I would have been really weirded out if my partner had asked for one. It would have given me serious pause for thought about if the relationship was really strong enough for kids to be introduced.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:40 AM
–

Such a myth. The unfortunate single guys from when I was young are still the same now but with money. There’s not a single person I know who wasn’t a good catch then that suddenly became one 15 years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:43 AM
6

Oh and plant care!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 07:40 AM
15

Both TikTok and Instagram are what you make of them based on what you search for and interact with. Both mine are just full of books, art and cooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 07:40 AM
1

Same same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 09:08 PM
16

45+ I’d say.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 09:07 PM
1

This ^
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 04:23 PM
1

They only seem to have one kind of woman on there too. I’m yet to see someone with a PHD in psychology. Correct me if I’m wrong since I obviously am not a fan of and don’t watch or listen to those kinds of podcasts. Guys on there are not average how? There are lots of ways to take an average and from what I’ve seen they are of very average even below average intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 01:43 PM
4

Bowling for soup, but no I’ve never felt like that song resonates with me as a woman on a personal level.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 01:30 PM
17

What?! That’s literally ‘basic first five questions getting to know a person 101’. I don’t understand how you can be interested in a person and not want to know what they spend most of their life doing. Do you work with human excrement or some other less pleasant job OP? That’s the only reason I can possibly imagine being a bit more reserved about talking about your job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 01:56 PM
2

Same. A man who looks like you couldn’t just knock him over but I don’t like muscle guys either. Just thick and strong looking like pre Guardians Chris Pratt and he must have been over 30% bodyfat at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 08:33 AM
2

I see tonnes of in shape PTs at my gym marrying their overweight partners though?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 08:03 AM
1

Yikes then! Well she’s got her pick of the guys who lap up all those opinions…wonder why she’s struggling to find a decent guy? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 06:20 AM
16

I look back at the people I ‘loved’ as a teen and I cringe. I am genuinely perplexed by my teenage self and what/who I thought I loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 04:14 PM
3

Ooof
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 04:08 PM
2

Omg not me thinking she already was older than me. I assumed about 38.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 02:36 PM
6

He also said men WERE blind to women’s issues and then continued by including ‘whatever the equivalent is’ in brackets showing he is in fact still blind to women’s issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 02:35 PM
59

I feel like you’ve described that people who are important to you in your life like your sisters and friends (who I assume you care about) are having problems. You’ve also described you’re deriving pleasure from it rather than feeling empathy for the people you care about. I think you’ll want to have some careful reflection about what that says about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 09:02 AM
5

Exactly. She doesn’t have any faith in her own arguments and she’s made a rod for her own back because now the only men interested are the kinds of men she doesn’t actually like and hold views she doesn’t actually believe in.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 06:42 AM
2

I agree with this take.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 06:40 AM
3

Hannah the pickme quite simply isn’t getting picked.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 06:39 AM
–

I feel like a lot of these posts would cease to exist if the posters simply went outside and looked at the general population.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 12:28 PM
–

Nope. Men get old too. Go to any parents thing with the men ranging from early 30s - 40s, they’re out there aging like cottage cheese in the sun. God love em, but this is delusional that all the men turn into handsome grey foxes. Can’t move for the beer bellies at kids football/soccer tournaments.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 12:25 PM
2

I don’t have any greys or wrinkles either yet! Mostly this stuff is determined by genetics and lifestyle rather than a set age.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 07:28 AM
3

Same and also 4 sounded sweet at first and then turned into ‘people pleaser past trauma’ territory. I am very supportive of my partners goals but I would never, ever give up my own job to support him. It’s giving martyr vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 06:49 AM
1

Sorry to be clear he invited several others in our friendship group as well but they were guys. And yes, I would have happily hosted our friends at my house at the time. We were all opposite sides of the country so it happened to be his house that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 06:16 AM
1

Interesting! He thinks I did lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 08:24 PM
1

‘Initiating’ isn’t usually that linear through in real life. There isn’t always one initiating event. For example, my partner invited me to visit him at his house for a weekend after we’d known each other a long time in similar friendship groups. At the end of that weekend, I plucked up the courage and kissed him. Who initiated?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:09 PM
16

Same.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:30 AM
1

Ooof 35. Better hope my partner doesn’t dump me then. These creaking old bones aren’t what they used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:42 PM
5

Why is it a problem for you though? Like a lot of thought goes into random strangers’ life decisions here and I don’t see how any of it is relevant. if you’re not going for those people why does it matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:31 PM
1

Absolutely! Love a jiggle!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:57 PM
-1

Yeah I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. I appreciate introverts and people who have interests in things. Never used OLD
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 02:23 PM
8

Yeah look I know there’s nuance hence why I said ‘yellow flag worth a closer look’.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:17 AM
2

Getting so sick of them now. Found my autistic partner perfectly dateable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:07 AM
16

Yeah I’d agree with this. It’s not a problem per se but there are yellow flags there that warrant a little investigation from friends or loved ones just to check. It’s just that (definitely not always, but sometimes) the power dynamic discrepancy is what draws an older person towards a younger person. Younger people are easier to manipulate in general having had less life experience so the gates are open for would be abusive partners to come and wreak some serious damage. Please note, I do not m…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:01 AM
1

The jiggle is mostly on my lower half when jumping.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:05 AM
1

Yeah you really don’t have to be an athlete. Some people build muscle much quicker than others because genetics. I’ve always been higher BMI even when I was a size 0 and 16 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:27 AM
1

This is true. I am training 5x a week and there are regulars of all shapes, sizes, ages including obese folks being incredibly active. It’s 80% diet not activity and it can be very easy for some people to maintain a higher weight simply by enjoying a high fat diet, even healthy fats.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:16 AM
4

Yeah they are about equal
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:17 AM
1

Is she a celebrity?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:16 AM
3

This lady I think is attractive rather than average. Yes it’s dated but she’s got a great bone structure and there’s a little something that draws you in for a closer look.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:14 AM
5

<image> I would consider this woman about average. Not ugly by any means but nothing that really draws you in either. I have a side gig as a portrait artist and have seen and closely studied thousands of couples and different people in my time, and this lady is about an average in terms of what I see most?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:12 AM
2

It’s hard! Mine is about chest length so mid/longish but I have never ever been able to grow it out further without it just becoming a whispy mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:54 AM
2

She does. I’m so envious of people who can grow their hair long!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 12:12 AM
5

It’s pretty subjective honestly. Hot to one person might not be hot to another but you can generally see whether someone is objectively attractive, whether you are personally drawn to them or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 12:11 AM
8

He’s like American Mario.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 07:56 PM
7

Ooh what a catch!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 07:39 PM
19

If Margot Robbie is an average looking woman then god help the rest of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 07:36 PM
8

I love this response so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:06 PM
5

Yeah that makes sense. I find it confusing when people here say giving oral is submissive. I see it completely differently. Male taking control of female pleasure. Very masculine,
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:00 AM
4

How is giving oral not being dominant?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:53 AM
8

I don’t disagree with this. I don’t think the blame is always with men on an individual level at all, More of a pervasive culture of PIV sex being the ‘standard’ based on what we see growing up via porn and other media.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:40 AM
16

This! I’m thinking that at least when lesbians DO have sex they seem to be both taking care of each-other’s pleasure. It’s really a let down when a guy doesn’t seem interested in reciprocating during sex. This happens too often, I think as a result of the focus on PIV rather than all the amazing other things that surround the art of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:24 AM
1

Yeah I have a high BMI and a low/healthy waist to hip, waist to height ratio etc. I’m still in the process of losing excess bodyfat as I’m currently at around 30% and want to drop to 28%
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 08:43 PM
4

Body fat % is a better indicator than BMI that’s all I’m saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 08:29 PM
17

I Wouldn’t go by BMI to decide if someone was obese, but yeah I would as long as it’s not morbidly so and they are generally active.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:59 PM
9

If you have to work hard to get them, they won’t appreciate having you. Effort should be 50/50 reciprocated. Both planning the dates, both buying gifts, both cooking etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:53 AM
2

Read what I said again and think carefully about the passage of time and what ‘just checked’ means.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 08:33 AM
2

No, the action itself is the only legal part, just checked. Most of the surrounding activities are illegal. You can’t stand on the street and solicit either or walk up to cars etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 07:49 AM
2

Prostitution is legal here? News to me…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 07:11 AM
0

I don’t think jaded is the right word. Experience teaches us a lot in life and certainly that includes relationships with friends and partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:02 PM
3

No. Experience raised my expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:08 PM
6

Wind your neck in a little. I don’t expect anything from porn. Just saying that it’s possibly one of the reasons why the female orgasm is less front and centre so lots of young men will have less exposure to it, therefore know less about it and how to make it happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:01 PM
3

Porn is part of it. (Although there’s better stuff now than there was 10 years ago) Most mainstream porn offers maybe 2/3 mins of female centred foreplay if you’re lucky, compared to maybe a whole ten minute section of blowjob action then pumping. That’s going to be most young peoples introduction to the world of sex and already they are getting a wildly unbalanced view of what foreplay entails.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 02:32 PM
6

Another issue is the dented pride thing. A lot of guys can get annoyed by being directed even slightly during sex. So it’s not that they are incapable of being given directions, it’s that some refuse to be given directions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 02:26 PM
2

My take on that is that makeup can only do that in photos and in film and the people who say it can change your whole face are only looking at women through a screen. Heavy contouring will mimic shadow on camera but in real life it doesn’t do the same thing at all and does not enhance or change anyones face, it can only enhance what’s already there because real human people are seen in 3D. . This is why theatrical makeup is a thing. It’s over exaggerated for the camera or stage so it can be seen…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:30 AM
2

Awww bless you. We have tonnes of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 09:41 PM
2

There’s really only so much Spanx can do, I don’t know why men get all up in arms about it here. It doesn’t change your entire shape it just smooths you out a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 01:06 PM
9

I don’t know. I’m still attracted to mine probably more so now than I was when we were first together 15 years ago. But then I feel quite lucky that we are practically best friends and just have that rare joined at the hip type relationship where we do everything together and hang out together and have a fucking ball ever day.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 12:34 PM
–

I would agree with you. I’ve been in a relationship since my early 20s but if (god forbid) I suddenly found myself single now at 35, I already have the experience now of what I am not prepared to live with, far more than when I was in my late teens and early 20s. If I don’t find that again then it is preferable and easier on my mental health for me to be single than in a crap relationship with someone who I know is red flags aplenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:47 PM
–

What the what?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 11:03 AM
1

I take some exception to Holly Black being tagged as a romance writer for women. She’s a prolific young adult author spanning several decades, and the queen of faeries…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 08:09 AM
2

Unfortunately yeah. It usually takes me by surprise and it’s the first thing I can think to say because I don’t like the idea of saying anything that might affect their self esteem, it’s not their fault I’m weird and only find I’m attracted to a minuscule amount of people, so it’s usually nothing against them as a person. Having said that, it’s perfectly reasonable to assume that many women may actually not be looking for a relationship or just come out of a breakup or something and not want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:08 PM
5

‘That’s very flattering but I am not really looking for a relationship right now’ I’ve said the same thing to those who were friends and cold approaches basically. If it was a friend I might add some more stuff in there like ‘you are an amazing person, but I think we’re better as friends’ then everything is awkward for a few weeks till things go back to normal and they invariably move onto someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 05:58 PM
–

Ahh ok fair enough. Obviously I only really know my own partner in that way and he loves touch and is very touchy with me but just doesn’t like other people touching him a lot, if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 01:28 PM
–

How does being ND affect your sex life when your partnered with someone? I don’t understand the link you’ve made there. My partner is ND and we have a super healthy frequent sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 12:50 PM
1

I reckon slightly above average is the sweet spot to be honest. That feels comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 12:41 PM
6

No, I agree there to some extent. I am definitely not laying the blame entirely at mens feet. I think it’s a large part cultural as well, but the outcome is the same, women left feeling sex is one sided.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:27 PM
8

If the gap is reversed for you then perhaps you can understand the frustration many women feel about it. You might need to ask yourself why books about the female orgasm exist… because there’s a gap and a need for education on the matter. Let’s not sit here and pretend that most mainstream porn doesn’t dedicate very little time to female focussed foreplay whilst we get a healthy ten minutes of full throat fucking action. Ergo, boys and men are seeing porn that highly centres male pleasure from a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:06 PM
15

They are just trying to move the goal posts. The orgasm gap exists whether men have reasons for not filling it or not. The ending is the same. Women are less satisfied by the pervasive cultural norm of PIV sex that ignores foreplay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:00 PM
6

It can be fairly easy for many women to have quick orgasms using only their hands and imagination. A few minutes for example. But I am not going to give personal examples here because that’s weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:42 PM
5

That varies for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:36 PM
11

Are they that much more complex? When we form at a foetal stage we start of with the same basic set of coding for genitalia. It’s why you have a seam down the centre of your testicles. The male penis is basically a giant elongated clit. Not touching a woman’s clit during sex is a akin to not touching a guys dingle dangle during sex. In the same way that men might like gentle or more firm touch, women also enjoy different ways of being touched that are more pleasurable for them. It’s basically at…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:30 PM
16

I’ve ruffled some feathers, I see. It is a shame that women have only laid there for you. That sounds like they were bored. That is a shame for you. I would hate to be boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:15 PM
13

I mean you’ve decided that would be women’s reaction BUT the point is you’d be rightfully unhappy about it if the shoe were on the other foot so it’s fair that women are talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:12 PM
11

Yes I agree. I’m really not saddling all the blame onto men. However in my own experience as a woman growing up, there really are plenty of men out there who just don’t seem to want to or particularly care about whether their female partner enjoys themselves. The only person for me was my now partner. I’m aware that’s only using myself as a sample size but I’m certainly not alone based on speaking to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:09 PM
2

I seem to have ruffled some feathers here :/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 11:46 AM
14

The fact women have less orgasms because they aren’t advocating for themselves until they are older and more experienced seems to escape you. When have men had to advocate for their orgasms? Male orgasm is an expectation while female orgasm is ‘given’ based on the generosity of the male partner or the female advocating for her own pleasure. This shows quite clearly the focal point and uneven balance between the sexes. How much of an issue is the man failing to achieve orgasm because the woman ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 11:12 AM
2

Thank you so much for the award!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:53 AM
67

It’s not ALL one sided. But the orgasm gap is pretty telling in terms of how much importance is placed on women’s pleasure as a general rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:54 AM
2

I think we’ve spoken before but I definitely think while having autism does indeed suck, if you find the right kind of people in your life you can have great and meaningful relationships. Obviously, as with everything being decently attractive does help and opens doors for you in life whether you’re autistic or not. Also depends how your autism affects you and what you struggle with. For many autistic people, they are indeed very charming and social, but just find it very draining and need to ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 12:48 PM
1

Well I’m already in a 15 year long relationship but if I was single, I have quite a diverse circle of talented people around so I’m not too worried.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 07:38 PM
1

Yeah that’s fair. I’m not really interested in most people though so umm yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 07:34 PM
2

I really think that depends what you do. But I like people to have a passion and talent about something and have made that what they do for a living.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 07:26 PM
3

I am yeah. It’s important to me they are doing something they love and has meaning to them. I’ve been with my partner for 15 years and he’s at some points earned more and sometimes less (my work can be really well paid one year and not so much the next). Work that has meaning to them is important to me, but often times vocational jobs aren’t as well paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:53 PM
8

No interest at all in a higher earning man. Don’t care as long as he’s happy and doing something that’s important to him and he has goals of his own he’s fulfilling. I realise that’s probably said from a place of privilege, because I completely understand if you want upward mobility, you certainly may want someone who earns more than you as a woman. Just that it’s not my experience or that of many of my female friends or family.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:09 PM
1

No, you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 01:40 PM
6

A glow job? I’m having such fun imagining what that could possibly be and all of my imaginings involve women becoming bioluminescent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 12:32 PM
8

Crap moral compass.Lack of inner strength and resilience. Defensiveness. Poorly developed sense of self and general lack of ability to be reflective and listen. Same for women. It takes strength and maturity to listen to other people and communicate without defensiveness. I feel like I’m basically describing narcissistic people here and I l do think they are some of the weakest people in existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 07:00 AM
2

The first photo is literally a still from a video. Try filming yourself and pausing it at random moments. People make all sorts of expressions while they are talking and not all of those expressions will be flattering in a freeze frame. She is quite clearly an attractive woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 08:32 PM
3

I am an old lady now and In all my many many years on this earth, I have never had any of my female friends agree on who and what they found attractive. I had a friend who always went for the super skinny skinny musician type, one who hated that and was into the muscular ‘Thor’ look, and a few that were basically only ever into silver fox type men even as young women. In fact, I rarely remember having any one pair of friends who had the same ‘type’ they generally went for. It was always very div…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:59 AM
1

Lola Ferrari is off the charts big though. DD is just more than a handful.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:59 AM
2

I would say this describes me pretty well when I’m out. I like people to get to know me, and for me to get to know them. A friendly approach that doesn’t just single me out but involves everyone in group conversation will probably start the process of me letting my guard down. I did find someone, and still with him 15 years later. Never liked or responded to a cold approach though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 07:31 AM
1

Yeah it’s a bit weird. Seems like you need someone to validate you often because you’re maybe struggling with your own self worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 10:46 PM
1

I don’t remember I was a teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:28 PM
1

No they were just twats.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:17 PM
10

Some of the worst guys I went out with were the least good looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 12:43 PM
2

Me too, can we team up?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:44 PM
6

Of course, are you joking?!? I’m a feisty little shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:08 PM
21

If you were on the street with any friend (male or female) and they got attacked, I would assume you’d defend them or find help immediately…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 07:22 AM
2

He is handsome, (as in his facial features are all in the right place and he’s healthy) but I think conventionally attractive is a word used here to imply a muscled chad type guy and he’s not that. It’s tricky because as a demisexual I can’t really put my finger on when I became attracted to him, it just built as I got to know him through a mutual friendship group. He is very funny and charming and very kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:31 AM
1

I apologise I don’t think I worded what I meant correctly. I mean that the term autistic is used here not as an actual descriptive of someone who actually has ASD, but as a slur, for ‘unsocialised men’, which I think is reductive and unfair to people with ASD. I appreciate the things people with ASD struggle with but I just think the term is overused in this sub and unfairly pigeonholes People with ASD as hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 07:36 AM
1

Just for context. We’ve been together 15 years, known him for 17, I know him inside out and sideways.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 03:50 PM
1

He is truly the funny person people like. He just has to take breaks, the same way An introvert might. He isn’t pretending to be someone he isn’t, he’s literally the same person at home, but he also comes with the emotional depth of the 3D human that needs sensory breaks .
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 03:48 PM
0

I’d really rather not go into personal stuff but let’s just say he’s good at masking in the way that women with autism tend to be. He was popular and not bullied no. His struggles always came out more in private when he felt safe and able to do so. Our son is currently being investigated for autism too and he displays much the same way. Has lots of friends, but struggled with particular things that he ‘hides’ at school and kind of releases at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 01:01 PM
0

No. He’s just extremely popular, funny, kind, intelligent etc. He didn’t actually find out he was autistic until his mid 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 11:01 AM
2

Our son’s 10 lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:59 AM
1

My autistic partner is extremely popular. I feel like a lot of people here bunch autistic people into this ‘hopeless’ category as an excuse for not pushing themselves to lead a fulfilling life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 08:01 AM
4

Lol didn’t work for us! We have a beautiful son from this ‘method’!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 06:59 AM
1

Yeah I’d say that’s fair. But I think being realistic here (and from personal experience) Most highly educated people, in high flying careers, tend to partner with other intelligent people. That’s just my experience. There just weren’t any kids with mums who were young and working as baristas while the dads were surgeons.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 10:36 AM
4

If that were the case, all my school peers would have been of similar intelligence. There was a vastly wide range of levels of intelligence, and whilst good education helped get the best out of each person, there were people who went on to PHDs and STEM careers and others that achieved well but weren’t on that level. Good education helps boost attainment, not natural ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 09:50 AM
6

You’d be in the minority. Most people in higher up careers , particularly educated ones, prefer to marry someone who has a similar level of education and career. Think about it. Most people here talk a lot about genetics etc, these people want clever, aspirational kids as well. Two intelligent aspirational parents are going to have an easier time creating and nurturing the same in their kids. [edited to add] as someone who went to private school right through education, (three separate schools) …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 08:31 AM
-1

Yes a couple and absolutely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:49 PM
9

Also not everyone wants to go down that road. These things might look good for a bit but you could be permanently changing/stretching your skin and then unable to keep up with the upkeep of surgeries if they need topping up or redoing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:12 PM
2

Is that why they’re all calling Margot Robbie a ‘Mid’ (aka average) now? Dream on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 12:27 PM
15

Good luck not maintaining a relationship then. It won’t take long for resentment to build with that attitude. And I say that as the bigger earner of the household.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 11:59 AM
3

Farting competitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:29 PM
1

I mean obviously my sample size isn’t everyone but given that I’m 35 I feel like I can comment at least for myself and the other couples I know and no I wouldn’t say it is. We expect the same fun/passion whatever that we did at 20. It’s just that now, generally that comes along with needing the other ‘grownup’ stuff along with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:27 PM
1

Yeah that makes sense. Tbh I don’t actually think I’ve ever used that phrase anyway, it’s very 90s British Romantic Comedy. Also, I met my partner at 20 so have never really been looking at men thinking what material they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:11 AM
2

Very British. No Jesus for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:08 AM
1

Can’t imagine having to tell my partner to brush his teeth. That’s just…he should be doing that and just you know…a normal capable adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:35 PM
1

26-50k is fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:32 PM
9

Yes this. You said it better than me. I got cross and called everyone demented.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:30 PM
10

Who the hell wants a husband that’s devoid of romantic and passionate energy anyway? To most women (that I know of) husband material pertains to stable partnership person AND passionate soulmate type who you want to go to bed with. I can’t imagine marrying someone I don’t actually find attractive. I honestly feel like you lot are actually demented.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:29 PM
1

Easier pension and inheritance stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:17 PM
2

(If I were single) Food service, Starbucks or bus driver - nope. Medical assistant, yes. I’d just wonder why they’ve got to their 30s and haven’t gotten bored. Medical assistant seems more like the kind of job you’d do because you care/want to make a difference, so more vocational, which I can definitely get behind. If it’s a skilled trade that’s also fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:07 PM
1

Definitely not. Had to kiss a few frogs and luckily my good one didn’t get away!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 05:57 PM
24

Same also.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:48 PM
12

Exactly. A large amount of the MGTOW dudes were undesirable anyway , the women didn’t want them in the first place for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:30 PM
2

It’ll be subjective from woman to woman so I’m not sure how useful this question truly is. Personally, high value to me is someone intelligent, kind, funny and slightly weird, good moral compass, good with kids, self reflective (as in reflects on behaviour and puts into action self improvement -growth mindset) and proactive about daily life and their personal goals (whatever that may be) Also, someone who has similar interests to me - art, books, music, interest in history and culture, likes coo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 02:22 PM
9

This Is the answer. It’s no one’s business why and when someone decides to have sex. The answer is either yes or no. If that doesn’t work for the other person they are within their rights to not continue seeing the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 07:13 AM
–

Well I’ve been here for 35 years and I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:49 AM
–

In a monetary sense yes, but I don’t personally value Chanel Handbags or luxury cars the same way another person would, if I ended up with one I’d just sell it on rather than enjoy it because I don’t like them. Value on a personal level is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:47 AM
–

What does?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 10:16 PM
14

Yeah this. Value is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 09:09 PM
8

That’s quite an offensive pile of stereotypes you’ve got there…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:16 AM
5

Haha I didn’t find out my partner was on the spectrum until after we’d had our child.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:13 AM
3

I got rejected a few times as a teen. Yeah it feels shit but you’ve just got to pick yourself up and focus on the people that give you the time of day who like you for who you are. But yes I imagine it would feel pretty awful to feel that most people don’t like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:10 PM
3

There is literally nothing that could make me date a sex offender. Nothing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:47 PM
4

Tell him to gtf out of the house and get to know people in real life, form friendship groups and be a kind person.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 01:42 PM
2

I loved reading your story. I’m so sorry about what you went through when young with your father and babysitters but so glad to see in adulthood your relationship with your father has turned around and that he has found his peace in sobriety. It’s so good to see you have taken negative experiences in your life and flipped them around into positive outcomes, it shows resilience and courage. Wishing you the best of luck with your forthcoming date as well ! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 09:21 AM
3

My partner is an incredible father. It’s honestly about what you put into your relationship with your kids and their mother more than anything else. The more you put in, the more you’ll get out of being a parent, the closer you will feel to your children and them to you. My partner was absolutely there for us from day 1 (and active and interested during pregnancy and birth too). Yes he got up at night, did the usual stuff like bathing, changing baby etc but most importantly he actually spent tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 07:04 PM
4

No. Do what you want. Your preferences are a personal choice. But the point is they are personal to you, the public at large doesn’t need to know your opinions on other peoples sexuality. That’s when it becomes misogynistic, when you decide to use your personal preferences as a way to denigrate random women just living their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 09:21 AM
0

Yeah that’s my take too. I want my partner to have freedom to live his life how he wants to live it, picking the friends that make him happy. I want someone to WANT to be with me exclusively because that’s their desire, not because it’s their only option.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 08:22 AM
14

I spend anywhere from £200-400 a month on skincare, nails, hair care, colour and cuts, eyebrow wax and tinting, etc … and then every so often a bit more than that to replace whatever makeup needs replacing. it’s definitely nowhere near cheap or free…I have to earn the money to actually get all that done. And at that cost I’m not even what I’d define as ‘high maintenance’ looking, just generally well groomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 10:34 PM
2

I don’t even know what a league below looks like. I don’t think of people in leagues. If I didn’t find him to be physically very attractive to me, but he was a completely normal person approaching in a polite way. I would be polite back and wouldn’t find it creepy. Creepy comes from creepy behaviours, so if they are overly awkward, strange body language, spoke rudely or strangely. That applies (for me) to anyone, regardless of how they physically look.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 12:07 PM
3

Yeah I’d agree with this. My partner has 100% ruined me for other men, there’s no way anyone else would measure up in the bedroom or as a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:50 PM
2

Same
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:24 PM
6

Yeah pretty much this. It’s good fun to go out and just have fun talking to new people. Gives someone fresh out of a breakup a bit of a boost to self esteem where it’s needed if the breakup or relationship was bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:31 PM
1

3-7x a week I like to have sex. Luckily me and my partner are pretty much on the same page when it comes to wanting that kind of frequency. Important though is the quality. 3-7 quickies aren’t going to do it for me. At least 3x a week we need a good proper session with oral, lots of foreplay. I do also enjoy quickies when you just need to be together immediately though. So long as there’s a mix and lots of what I call ‘build up moments’ throughout the day. When I was single, I could go many many…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 07:56 PM
2

Then I’d have to let you know that as a teacher (I used to be one) we are directly responsible for the attainment and progress of every one of our students (if a student fails it’s looked at as our fault and goes against scores for the school as a whole) , so I struggle to get on board with the idea that a teacher would put their own career in jeopardy to fail people for no objectively (as in with appropriate proof they are failing students) good reason other than them being ‘alpha’…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 11:39 AM
4

It’s in a teachers best interest that all the people in their class succeed, though right? They are judged on that as part of their job. At least that’s the case for teachers throughout primary and secondary education. I feel for you if this is truly the situation and not just blame shifting for what was effectively, when looked at with an objective eye, just worse behaviours from the ‘alphas’.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 08:20 AM
3

35 years on this earth, lived all over the country, been to university in London, even been to massive parties in central London full of people having orgies, I’ve even seen groups of 20 people having sex all together. All that to say the only people I have ever known do anything resembling that setup OP describes are polyamorous or highly promiscuous friends where both the guy and girl sleep with several other people, so it wouldn’t be described as a harem. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen. …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 06:25 PM
1

You don’t have to like everything. Give it more of a chance. At the very least in a group setting you will be meeting other people and developing social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 07:40 AM
5

I don’t think I was in that conversation but just want to back you up cause I’ve also been with partner 15 years, earn more than him and am just super happy to see him doing what he enjoys. Money is just money. My sister also makes double her husbands income.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 08:06 AM
6

Omfg most educated women who enjoy literature know who Jane fucking Austen is…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 11:10 PM
3

Haha I always say this. Trash books are like pizza. Sometimes I just need some crappy cheesy pizza in between my gourmet meals.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 11:07 PM
1

Don’t think so. Daemon was fucking grim.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 11:02 PM
19

Lol women being pregnant after 30 aren’t outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 08:26 AM
3

Arrogance, guys that ‘peacock’, lack of emotional depth, racist, rudeness, unkindness, condescension, lack of humility. Basically below average, bad symmetry, unclean/unhygienic looking, ‘sporty’ looking gym type (unless he’s actually in the gym at the time of wearing said clothes) below 5’5, weird shoes that don’t go with his outfit. Anything that is basically just ‘money money money’ or ‘just a job’ like banking, investing, salesmen, middle management/upper management of a boring company. If y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 08:43 AM
3

If we teach children it’s not ok to slam doors in anger, we should expect men not to, since they would have been children who were taught not to slam doors.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 10:02 AM
10

From my experience when I was early 20s and very attractive, I did not want older men at all. But then I’m not really driven by money or status. I had two friends who went out with one particular older man we knew at one point, But he didn’t really have money or status, he was just an older guy hanging out with younger people because we all knew him through a mutual interest group, and he was cool. But yeah, me personally no. I thought 30s were ancient when I was 20 , I’m now 35 and still wouldn…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 07:23 AM
1

Google is your friend. Toxic masculinity- a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole. An example of toxic masculinity is not allowing young boys to show emotion or cry , ‘it’s not manly’ - as a society if we keep drumming away that men can’t be vulnerable because they risk being seen as not ‘man enough’ we risk further damage to the mental health and well-being of men. It’s both…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 02:39 PM
35

Yeah I’d agree with most of these ESPECIALLY invalidating male emotions. It’s just reinforcing toxic masculinity issues and stereotypes about ‘how men should be’. No thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:31 PM
1

Tbh I don’t have any forever single friends. There is an acquaintance I can think of that my husband knows but I’d say is very obvious why he can’t get anywhere with women sadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 02:50 PM
6

Some of the worst messages I’ve ever had have been from not very attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 10:57 AM
4

Social anxiety does not and never did mean you lack social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 09:50 AM
13

Ahh so anecdotal evidence then?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:54 AM
2

Yeah I agree , I think our conservative here is closer to the US Democratic Party. Our left is absurdly left wing to Americans.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 12:37 PM
0

Ooof neither. I can make some slight allowances for Steve like ‘talented being allowed to rise’ because I believe maintaining a meritocracy within the arts in particular is really important. But I don’t like his unempathetic view of homelessness, that shows that he’s unable to think with nuance. Sam, I think he’s got more negatives for me. He seems more stuck in his ways and you’ve written him with less overall positive attributes. I don’t enjoy that he views women in such a regressive way. A mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 12:34 PM
1

Hornier. More confident in myself so I feel sexier which means I enjoy it more. More able to feel confident to say what I want and advocate for my own pleasure. More time now kid is a bit older and more independent. Longer relationship aids feeling of safety to be more exploratory of both our desires and sexualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 10:38 PM
7

Yeah. There’s a saying ‘straw that broke the camels back’ for a reason. The straw itself didn’t break his back, it was just one small thing too many. It’s not the glass, it’s the lack of respect. In fact, after living with my parents for a few years as an adult while I was saving for a mortgage, I can tell you my dad does exactly this with the dishes and glasses and it’s utterly infuriating once you’ve told someone more than enough times that is saves everyone a job if you simply put the dishes …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 08:00 PM
2

Red flags - my work life balance is….eh. I’m an illustrator so Sometimes I’m working 12/14 hour days on big projects, sometimes I am working no hours at all. Makes life scheduling hard and also planning things like holidays and getaways in advance. I have a kid (would be a red flag by RP standards if I was single) Over 30 shock horror Career is important to me (that’s a green flag to me but I’m assuming we’re going by RP standards) Green flags - empathetic, kind, considerate, thoughtful, intelli…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 07:26 PM
1

Was that aggressive comment necessary?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 07:13 PM
2

I see no issue. I myself think I’m more drawn to men with personality traits that Red Pill guys would say are ‘feminine’ such as emotional intelligence, empathy, kindness etc. my own partner leans much more this way, despite LOOKING incredibly masculine (hulking tall Irish lad). And I would say I have quite a few masculine traits in my personality) based on What RP classes as masculine) such as being ambitious, hardworking, ‘go getting’, however I also visually present as very feminine looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 07:11 PM
2

Ahh sounds fun! Never really seen anything like that over here. Sometimes the kids in school make little cards and things but that’s about it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 06:49 PM
11

Eh. We still don’t know where it happened and with what weapon. Stop ruining my mystery fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:12 PM
14

Not the murderer that’s for sure. I’ll take Don and we can play a fascinating and exhilarating game of ‘real life Cluedo’ where we find out who Pat killed, and whether or not it was in the conservatory with the lead pipe.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:05 PM
5

Worth mentioning, I imagine it’s more a ‘thing’ in the US? In the UK it obviously exists but a lot of people aren’t bothered by Valentine’s Day. Of the people I know that have done something for Valentine’s Day, it’s usually been pretty reciprocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:03 PM
36

I think most established couples don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day, honestly. Instead, my partner and I ‘date’ and treat eachother to things throughout the year to keep things fun. No need for a special day for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:00 PM
17

Lol at stay at home mums not having to get up early.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 08:19 AM
2

That’s not my experience. Sex has gotten better as I’ve aged into my mid 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 08:17 AM
3

No catch. Though our wages have differed over the years with some years early on him earning more than me, others where we were earning quite even amounts, but my career took off quite considerably about 5 years ago once I got agented and published. I am now earning roughly 2-3x more and work an average of 20-25 hrs a week. We’ve been living together 12 ish years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 09:49 PM
1

I am SO much happier in my 30s than I was throughout my 20s it’s not even comparable. I think we just know ourselves better, know what we like and make sure we take the time to enjoy it. My 20s were taken up with ‘who am I?/how should I live my life?’ Energy that was just draining.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 06:45 PM
1

Yeah that’s pretty much me. My skin is so much better at 35 than it was all the way through my 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 06:30 PM
1

No lol!! Omg. My first boyfriend was 13 too and we went out for like 4 months and just kissed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 06:00 PM
1

Yeah that is a deal breaker for me. Just diametrically opposed viewpoints on intimacy and not compatible, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 03:38 PM
3

I mean…10 is definitely possible if you just had a bunch of different boyfriends as a young teen. I think I had 6 boyfriends between age 13-21
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 09:40 AM
1

Yeah I agree, I just think your wife sounds awesome
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 07:22 PM
1

Awwww that’s kinda cute though!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:16 PM
3

Awwww that’s kinda cute though!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:16 PM
–

Very much this. I haven’t had a fizzy drink (soda) with sugar in it for 8 years. That and our ‘large’ portion sizes are probably about equivalent to US small or medium sizes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:38 PM
–

It really does boil down to time and priorities!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:29 PM
–

Which part of Europe? It can effect women over here just the same. Depending on the specific country, Europe consists of vast amounts of differing cultures, family dynamics and work cultures making it hard to compare anything in Europe to The US without being more specific. The general standard of food, portion sizes and cost of healthier food is different to start with in many places in Europe. More areas in Europe have closer knit families who can provide support. There are a zillion reasons w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:28 PM
–

Not always a choice. Many women during marriage and baby making years, end up prioritising everyone but themselves. That has a negative impact on their level of self care to varying degrees. I know that during the early years of my sons childhood, and helping husband through mental health struggles, I had very little time left to think of myself…It was only as I got older and learned to advocate for my own needs, (realising I had to, in fact, look after myself in order to be the best version of …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:13 PM
–

35, 14 year relationship, 3 x more last year but differs year to year.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 12:27 PM
–

Yeah pretty much. I’ve met so many of his friends and colleagues for the first time who’ve said ‘omg Mr Birb was showing off your art to us, you’re so talented’ . So yeah. I know he’s doing that lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 11:52 AM
–

I’ve out earned my partner for years and he’s my favourite person.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 11:50 AM
1

Ok well he’s around 14 stone so whatever that is in lbs. I’m uk
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 11:41 AM
1

Lol why? I don’t know off hand …190/200ish?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 09:39 AM
7

This is to do with direct conversations with the person asking you out though
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 11:17 PM
2

I frequently show husband what’s being said and what I’m saying lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 10:50 PM
3

I’m a member of ask women and I rarely see the things you are speaking about. I wouldn’t put it in the same category as TwoX
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 10:44 PM
16

Most irl normal men aren’t rude though either. So this isn’t a ‘men are direct’ thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 10:42 PM
1

I don’t know. Hasty typing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:02 PM
0

Yeah this. All of this. I just….cannnnn’t. Like. That’s a relationship ending level of disrespect and mistrust.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 04:58 PM
1

I have never cheated on my partner in 14 years but I can tell you now that if he turned around and demanded a paternity test for our son or subsequent children I think that would negatively impact the relationship. It’s quite something in a trusting relationship where there have been no fidelity issues to broadly announce to the world you don’t trust your partner. That said, if it was a government mandated thing, I can’t see that being such an issue at all. It’s really about the personal trust t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 04:54 PM
2

I’m demisexual so I’ve never wanted casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 06:48 AM
3

No 7 relationships, 7 sex partners. Well ok then, my partner of 14 years is technically a ‘chad’ then. So 1 chad out or 7 relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 07:28 PM
4

I don’t have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 07:27 PM
2

Well my partner is 6ft in shape and handsome but alternative and not a typical masculine guy so I don’t know: maybe one then. I don’t have any other sex partners
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 06:53 PM
0

Ummm I find myself drawn to talented people with similar interests to me like horror, fantasy, reading, music, gaming and tabletop gaming etc. I don’t really have a looks ‘type’ except maybe slightly alternative people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 03:43 PM
23

None I don’t think. I’m not entirely sure what a chad is though. Like…if we are talking 6 foot, muscly, trendy/fashionable , popular guy frat boy types then I’ve had a relationship with 0 out of 7. Edited to clarify - 7 relationships in my lifetime, 0 (I don’t think) were chads. Haven’t had casual sex as it’s not my thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 02:11 PM
2

No we shouldn’t raise the age of consent. Age of consent is 16 in UK and young girls of 18 still consider much older men vying for relationships with them to be bit ‘weird’. So it’s not about the age of consent but the stage of life a young girl is in versus the stage of life the older person is in, opens the territory up for control and abuse. I don’t believe this is the case for all age gaps at all. But if a man or woman is consistently dating someone in their lower adult years, that’s a patte…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 08:53 AM
3

I don’t really have any that I can’t fulfil with my partner. Sometimes I might fantasise about something flippantly, but it’s not something I’d ever want to do in real life (like group stuff or something) because the idea of having sex with other human beings who aren’t my partner repulses me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 03:35 PM
2

Agreeable to me means positive, polite, altruistic, generally kind. Not a red flag to me personally. I’m more worried by that French comment. It’s a bit try hard. Edit - oh just reread that is what he is looking for and that he is not describing himself as agreeable… hmm. That changes the context a little for me? Not sure why? Maybe it’s because I’ve seen it so many times used in context of wanting a ‘submissive’ girlfriend??
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 07:40 AM
1

Do you think it’s possible that those women are just less sure about how to interact with you rather than ‘losing attraction’ - are they assuming they will need to know sign language and so are a bit intimidated at the prospect of maybe embarrassing themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 08:08 PM
2

Nice!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 04:35 PM
1

Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:15 PM
1

Ok. I really don’t have the energy to debate the specifics of what those horrible few years did to both of us. My intention was to say that shit happens and when you’re committed to someone, sometimes stuff that is out of general control happens to our bodies. He was deathly ill, if he overate while he was practically comatose on antipsychotic drugs so he didn’t jump off the nearest cliff or run into a road full of traffic , then so be it. He certainly wasn’t anywhere near aware enough to think …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:13 PM
4

He is a profoundly stupid knobhead
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:05 PM
0

I feel like you’re splitting hairs here. I’m not sure why? If it made him more hungry and he gained weight, it was still the medication that cause that. And at that point it doesn’t even matter, I saw him through some of the worst years of his life, with patience and love, and you’re like ‘yeah but I bet he got fat cause he ate too much though’ Literally ridiculous point shifting. But also: Metabolic syndrome has been studied in direct relation to antipsychotics affecting the way dopamine intera…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:01 PM
0

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1034/j.1600-0447.2000.101006416.x Quetiapine. Antipsychotics are absolutely known for weight gain. Its far worse at higher doses. He’s back on a far lower dose now (prescribed for anxiety not psychosis this time) and is not having any weight issues. It’s been studied. But at the moment they work so people have to take them, unfortunately weight gain is a significantly bad side effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 08:30 PM
9

I can’t speak from personal experience as I’ve not dated since my son, but I know a few ladies who started dating again after their relationship with child’s father broke down. They seemed to do ok, generally aimed for other guys with kids from a broken down relationship. So obviously it probably does lower your dating pool a bit, especially if you don’t want any more children, you’ll be looking for men who’ve had their kids too, or don’t want any.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:32 PM
2

You aren’t making any sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:24 PM
3

And that’s disingenuous because other people have said something different to me? That is a….bizarre leap of logic
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:19 PM
2

What did I actually say?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:17 PM
2

If that’s what you took from that then fair enough. But it would be disingenuous if I had said old men are bald fat and gross. I haven’t said that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:14 PM
5

Wow that’s horrible :(
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:13 PM
9

I think most men are fine with accepting bodies change. When you love someone, especially someone who has been a part of your life for a long time, your attraction isn’t purely physical at all. It’s the vocal few men that make it seem like all men have this shallow, fragile physical attraction issue. At the end of the day, most people will at some stage in their life ; lose or gain weight, get cancer and lose their hair or a part of their body, gain scars, burns or other physical problems. Most …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 02:34 PM
1

We always planned to get married but it’s not a priority for me and a big expense and a lot to plan. Therefore we decided our son would have his dads surname so there’s less surnames to change when we get round to getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 08:25 AM
60

I think it’s reasonable to want someone to stay healthy, yes. But it’s realistic to understand people go through things in their life that are out of their control. My husband who was always physically fit, gained 40/50lbs in 6 months due to some medication he was put on many years ago. He hated it. It took him 3 years to finally lose it and his body is now physically fit again, but that weight gain took its toll and his body looks different to how it did when we first met at 20. It changed his …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 08:01 AM
-1

Noooo I have always absolutely melted over guys who are good with kids and being caring.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 04:53 PM
2

I have never dropped a smile on purpose because someone has looked at me. In the UK some people smile and nod gently to greet each other (as in strangers when you walk past eachother) so it’s kinda muscle memory that if someone looks at me I smile. But maybe in this case they were just embarrassed they’d been caught randomly smiling to themselves, they were daydreaming and catching someone’s eyes quickly broke the daydream? I’ve definitely done that before; I have a guy friend I was in training …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 08:26 AM
1

I think I’ve spend more money on gifts for my partner than he has on me, all things considered. But I’ve got no interest in keeping tabs and I don’t see it transactionally. The things I wanted to get him for birthdays just happened to be more expensive than the things I tend to want. Got him a Fender Strat and a new amp for his 30th birthday. When I met him we were both virtually penniless although I have a far richer family. I love him because he’s an awesome person. He’s never once needed to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 08:08 AM
8

Haha that’s a stretchy piece of mental gymnastics there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:58 AM
1

I walk past/ through the local high school every day to go get my son from his school, and I see teenaged couples of all different kinds. Mostly generally average people. Same with my sons football matches at the weekend, it’s full of the other players older siblings, all relatively normal looking, nothing stand out about them, there with their girlfriends and boyfriends. Same when I got to the supermarket or into town to go shopping. I think maybe it just confirmation bias, they are only lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 05:53 PM
9

Gosh same, when that shooting happened in the UK it was so unbelievably shocking. Not that far from where I live either which was doubly shocking. I love men, and have many great ones in my life. But like you, I’m glad I have an idea of what to look out for now.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 04:32 PM
1

In fact, thinking about it, my brother who has two children in two diff schools had letters from both those schools too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 09:23 AM
1

My sons school is having to have talks. Got a letter last week: I’ve heard all my sons friends talking about Tate and repeating phrases and talking points. They are 9/10 year olds. Luckily I am quite careful with my son, spotted that a video had popped up while he was browsing YouTube shorts a while ago and had the talk with him then.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 09:22 AM
3

Unfortunately it does. I think most women in general, particularly now, have at least a good understanding of how to stay safe but most of them aren’t feeling wary because they’ve been told stories. Nearly every woman I have ever met has had similar experiences to me. But again, saying that, I don’t assume the worst when I meet anyone, I just know what to look out for.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 08:44 AM
10

At 11 I couldn’t have avoided being rather forcefully invited into the car of a 25 year old while I waited for my dad to pick me up. I thank myself everyday that back then I was shy enough to refuse, because I hadn’t been prepared for that by my parents. I have NO IDEA what would have happened if I’d gotten into that car. I couldn’t avoid at 15, adult men making comments about my underwear at work and asking probing questions about my body. That was in 2005/6 ish when there just simply wasn’t an…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 12:13 AM
18

I’m confused. Like off the top of my head I could list 5 or 6 women in the sub that have openly talked about being in relationships and enjoying their sex lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 08:50 PM
1

And what is your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 08:48 PM
1

Mmhmm!! My patience wanes more by the day
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 07:19 PM
1

Blah blah blah angry man
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 07:12 PM
1

Opinions aside. I liked your writing :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 11:22 AM
1

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 09:39 AM
3

I have done that exact thing several times. I work remotely most of my life so I’ve been in positions where I’ve been at events completely alone and managed to work the room and gain a group to be around. It’s tricky but not impossible with the right introductions, especially if you’re in a group of people with similar interests. And the ‘cold approach’ is one thing about this I’ve really thought about. Lone men walking up to a woman cold would not be a good approach from my personal perspective…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 09:31 AM
2

What do you mean? My career has absolutely zero to do with my looks. But you also don’t know what I look like. I have male peers who are successful in the same career, who are certainly not an oil painting. Go check out the likes of Will Terry, Chris Riddell, Paul Kidby and get back to me. (I don’t know those specific illustrators but they are very famous ones)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 09:28 AM
0

Well whatever. I’ve never done it so I have nothing to go on other than what I read and what my friends have said. I imagine it would be easier to just go out somewhere honestly, you can tell better in person if someone is someone you connect with
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 10:02 PM
1

Never done that. From what I see on some of the women subs, they find App dating difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:57 PM
4

Not so much when I was a late teen/early 20s. Not much was really available for young people to access to spot toxic/abusive behaviours. Most of the stuff you heard about was violence rather than emotional abuse/ toxic stuff. I wish I’d had a better understanding of these things. I wonder if now young people have a lot more material available online for spotting toxic people, but it’s coming up more in women’s algorithms because they are more likely to consume that kind of content?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:52 PM
1

I’ve no idea. All my friends/family are fine. I get there’s more of a drinking/partying culture here maybe, and that might not suit everyone, but you don’t have to take part in it if you don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:25 PM
2

Yessss!! That’s me too! People are often surprised I am an introvert, but I can and do come across as very confident and amenable in social situations. It does takes a lot of energy though, and I need to hide, read and draw for a while after an event.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:12 PM
2

It’s interesting because I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a confident person, I just feign it when I need to. It’s more of like something I have to work my way up to, but I do find it easier to do when I am alone strangely. I think it’s like a subconscious survival thing. If I’m with others I’m usually happy for them to socially take the lead, since When i feign confidence it takes a huge amount of energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:08 PM
4

Hmmm well I can only pull from my experience as a woman, but my career is pretty cool and tends to be picked up as an interesting talking point when I meet people. I’m assuming I’m waking up as a male version of me with same career etc. I think I’d be the same level of confident if I were a man. I’ve been in situations before where I’m at an event where I don’t know anyone, and If you can introduce yourself to groups of people in such a way that you come across as a ‘confident newbie’ and ask go…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:01 PM
14

Nah I’m just gonna take the win. I’m getting laid as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 07:38 PM
7

Hahah why thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:06 PM
44

I don’t want to do a cop out answer but I don’t even know how a woman would go about getting casual sex ‘right now’ so it’s hard to answer the question. I guess the first thing I’d do is go shopping, get some nice new clothes in a slightly alternative style, go get barbered and look nice etc. Then for the evening I’d find a gig at a local music venue, get chatting to some people, form a small group of both guys and girls and see if I hit it off with anyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 04:04 PM
2

I think what I see as a high value man is probably different to what TRP generally described him as. But my partner- works consistently on his struggles living with autism and anxiety, is proactive, and sees his mental health as a lifelong process of improvement. Helps other people who aren’t as far along in their journey with mental health. Has changed his career in order to do so and be paid to do it because he’s good at it. takes accountability for his actions. Always. Is reflective and emoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 12:57 PM
4

Yup. I am kinda hoping OP Just made this up to get a reaction
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 10:28 PM
11

Sorry I missed the nagging bit. However, It is after the fact when she becomes a ‘kitten’ for a few weeks, that is appeasement mode after an abusive episode. This is not a healthy relationship by any stretch. No, he should Not under any circumstances be turning the house over for any reason let alone nagging. Look, the nagging isn’t good. Flipping tables isn’t good either. Toxic. Abusive. Bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 09:01 PM
5

I don’t think that’s how that works.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:52 PM
4

Yeah I thought the same…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:48 PM
8

That’s just…weird and horrible though…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:47 PM
1

It has long been subject to study narcissism is linked to low self image. It’s not one random study, that was just the first study that came up on google cause you are all too damn lazy to do it yourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:42 PM
1

Sorry I’m from the uk. So all the women of a certain age are only in LA and NY , is that what you’re saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 04:51 PM
0

Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 04:37 PM
6

Do I know people who have struggled in the past with dating? A few, mainly women when I was in my late teens, early 20s. I don’t know anyone that’s really struggled for more than a year, though. My older brother’s relationship broke down a few years ago, he spent probably around 8 months licking his wounds and around a year after got a lovely girlfriend via online dating. I can’t remember which one. I must admit, I don’t know any ‘good’ men who have seriously struggled for a long time with it. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 04:09 PM
4

I’m put off by that too. But I’ll be told I’m virtue signalling or lying. Yes boys we are allllll lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 01:18 PM
2

https://www.nyu.edu/about/news-publications/news/2021/march/narcissism-driven-by-insecurity--not-grandiose-sense-of-self--ne.html
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 12:46 PM
3

I’m getting downvoted for that comment and it only takes a google search to find the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 12:44 PM
-1

The thing is, narcissists are actually highly insecure, it’s one of the main benchmarks of narcissism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:54 AM
0

I expect some level of insecurity in everyone. The difference is how you cope with that insecurity and what kind of behaviour it brings out in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:52 AM
3

Ahhh ok fair enough! Yes, people driven by passion hits differently to people driven by status.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:51 AM
3

Some people have careers in music and drawing though, there’s plenty of people making good careers out of their passions!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:10 AM
4

‘Mentorship’….sexy…/s
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 02:55 PM
5

I definitely do not believe that in the slightest, my apologies if what I wrote came across like that. To clarify: I do believe that a single parent (father or mother) can adequately raise a child without too much knock on impact if they have a stable background and enough resources. I think the negative impact to children comes in greater part due to socioeconomic circumstances and the culture of parenting/education they are born into. This happens to be where the greatest number of absent pare…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 02:53 PM
4

I’m not saying both parents aren’t important and yes it’s a bonus if you have both and the child might ‘do better’. But the data about kids growing up to be criminals is often used to say ‘that’s because no fathers’ , when in fact those people are completely ignoring the socioeconomic issues surrounding single mothers. Context is key.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 02:19 PM
3

I think there are many men doing a better job in recent years in realising the work involved in maintaining a household. There’s of course always going to be men that don’t think about it/won’t meet their partner in the middle. But they are going to have a harder and harder time either finding relationships or keeping them, because people are talking more and more about things like mental load so it’s harder to brush such things under the carpet than perhaps it was 20 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 02:10 PM
8

The fact of the matter is, when people here argue about single mothers creating kids who end up in trouble with the law, they are ignoring the context involved. A lot of single mothers are from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, we can go into the why of it for hours, but people who grow up in not the most ideal circumstances, end up with other people who also didn’t have the best circumstances growing up. Men from those backgrounds are more likely to leave a mother to parent alone or possibly be …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 01:39 PM
2

I don’t think we know enough about ancient hunter gatherer society to really understand why, during prehistory, the age gap was slightly higher. It’s literally all conjecture. I could just as easily say it was nothing to do with ‘building up resources’ and say that maybe all the young men of each community were fitter so sent out to hunt, (remember this was before agriculture and arable farming) where the older men were left with the rest of the community and so were around more to help look aft…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 08:32 AM
2

Plenty of high earning women out there pay for and support their families.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 10:03 AM
1

Sorry, off topic. I love DA:I … But agree, it’s about priorities. It’s EASY for me to get sucked into spending all day gaming. Since I work from home on pretty time consuming projects, once I’ve finished an 8 months long project, it’s literally so easy to just be like ‘I’m exhausted so I’m going to spend the next two weeks gaming non stop’. The problem with that is it actually quickly triggers some depression in me because I’m someone who always needs a thing to be achieving. So really I’ve alwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 08:26 AM
29

I guess if your only goal is to get into a relationship regardless of the trauma and damaging effects it might have on the other person, then yes…mission accomplished. I’m still picking up the pieces of the trauma 15 years later though, so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 09:15 PM
14

Ooof I don’t want to delve into it to be honest. I was uncomfortable enough just reading this post. I have no idea if he ‘intended’ to do what he did or if it is just part of his nature. When I left him he seemed absolutely devastated but I don’t know if it was out of actually loving me or a narcissist with his ego shattered after having 3 years of absolute control. He continued to send mixtapes, cds and letters to my parents address for 6 months after I left. He was still trying to contact me 6…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 09:11 PM
3

It’s an abusive tactic whereby someone makes grand romantic gestures with gifts or expensive treats in order to pull the other person in. Sometimes it’s then used at a later date to manipulate someone. Or can be used as part of the cycle of abuse when the abuser does something abusive, partner is upset, abuser buys expensive gifts or makes grand romantic gestures in order to ‘fix it’ and reel the person back into the abusive cycle. This probably explains it better: https://www.betterhelp.com/adv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 08:09 PM
61

This is giving me horrible, ‘was I in a relationship with that guy?’ feelings. I swear he did this exact process to me. Didn’t end well for him honestly. I left him. The whole dread game thing was just bad times.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 06:55 PM
2

Ohh sorry I think I misinterpreted the question. If we are talking early courtship, maybe flowers are nice, or a small token if you really want to, but just tone it down a little bit…you don’t want to give ‘love bombing’ vibes. I think people are just quite reserved these days in early dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 06:47 PM
2

Last week was my 35th birthday. My partner had a baker make me a surprise birthday cake in my favourite flavours and he wrote me a letter inside my card (which he does every year and I keep them). I would say he’s very romantic, so I don’t think romance is dead. I love getting small gifts and flowers, anything that shows they were thinking of you when they weren’t with you. If you are a naturally romantic person, I don’t think it will matter if you met the other person through online dating or a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 06:43 PM
8

Could literally play buzzword bingo off all your cult words there, pal.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 12:12 PM
3

Yeah last time I heard of anyone using a tanning bed was like circa 2005. I’ve never used one and I’m mid millennial. Always sunscreen, no sunbathing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 10:46 PM
2

Yup this! Plus there’s also variation between people of both sexes regarding skin. For example, I actually have thicker skin than my husband, who is younger than me. Consequently, he has far more wrinkles where I have like, 1 wrinkle at 35 years old. So whilst men tend to have thicker skin on average, there’s a lot of individual ‘skin thickness’ variation between the sexes too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 10:43 PM
2

Oh god this was so long ago, half of them are married with kids now. Lots of people are attracted to lots of other people as teenagers, it happens. We were all part of larger friendship groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 07:11 PM
2

Omg that’s despicable!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 06:48 PM
1

Just want to offset this by also saying, I have had guys who were absolute gentlemen and very gracious about it, which I really appreciated, and we are still friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 06:30 PM
0

Rudest/meanest way someone has reacted to me not being mutually interested in them : Got drunk in my garden, smashing bottles and singing and trashing the place while I hid upstairs and called the police. Fun. Another one SA’d me anyway, friend had to call police because he would not leave her house. Also, I’m so sorry you experienced such horrible POS behaviour OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 06:25 PM
1

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 02:29 PM
4

They were. I lived in a predominantly white area of the UK growing up. South west England in the early 2000s was not very multicultural.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 10:18 PM
9

I’m demisexual. I had boyfriends in my teens that I literally had no attraction to until about a month into the relationship when I fell in love with them. They have all looked completely different. Baring in mind I didn’t know I was on the ace spectrum then so I just had a boyfriend cause everyone else did and they seemed ok, but I was mildly disgusted at the thought of kissing them until I suddenly wasn’t. It’s difficult to describe, like I wanted companionship and the clout of saying ‘I have …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 06:10 PM
20

I don’t experience finding people ‘hot’ until I know them. Generally I like to find them nice to look at to start with but that won’t get me hot for them till I know them. So I have nothing concrete for looks, other than tallish ( my partner is a giant compared to 5ft me and I love that ) and generally ok looking with relative symmetry. I’m better off saying things I really don’t like, which are bad teeth and poor hygiene and not healthy looking. For me to find them ‘hot’ it’s a mix of emotional…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:44 PM
3

Exactly!! They definitely exist simultaneously. Struggling a bit to see OPs point here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:30 PM
2

Oh yeah completely. I reread OPs post and the bit about dread, uncertainty, doesn’t sound good. That just sounds like insecure attachment and possible mental health issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:07 PM
9

But you are gatekeeping attraction and accusing those of us in relationships of ‘not feeling proper attraction’ to our other halves. Which is just….plain wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 03:23 PM
5

I still look at my husband and want to tear his fucking clothes off though. So attraction is still 100% there.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 03:15 PM
5

I think it’s perfectly possible to experience both within a long relationship. I feel like those initial experiences of a ‘high’ are in line with the first attraction stage, if you both fancy each other enough. Then (if you are compatible enough) it moves into mutual love, comfort, occasionally punctuated with some lusty moments. Which is honestly an all round better experience in the long run. You can’t stay ‘high’ forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 03:13 PM
2

Yeah I’d agree with this. Your Standard Victorias Secret models (very male gaze oriented) look very different from high fashion models. Designers tend to look for interesting bone structures that catch the light in a particular way when photographed or under strong stage lights; sharper angles and unusual features. These tend to be more masculine and elegant, than pretty and wholesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 08:45 AM
2

It was an example of an unsubstantiated claim I pulled out of thin air. I am not claiming men cheat more, that’s just the example I could think of at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 09:28 AM
2

I literally went across the country every few weeks to see mine when we first started seeing each other. So D
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 07:37 PM
2

I’ve heard it’s the case but in my personal life I don’t know many women like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 07:36 PM
6

Wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 04:22 PM
11

‘Suggests’ is an accurate word to use here. ‘Proves’ is not. Data about who initiates divorces cannot and can never prove the why of it. It can only prove the initial question, which was ‘who initiates more divorces’
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 04:03 PM
18

There is no way to extrapolate from this data the necessary information to form a hypothesis. As previous posts have said, a woman being more likely to initiate a separation or a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean the woman is the one who causes the relationship to fail. It could be either partner or both who couldn’t make it work. Men are less likely to initiate a divorce, this is a statistic fact we have known for a while. All this data shows is exactly what it shows. Women are more likely to in…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 03:41 PM
3

Yeah that sounds about right.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 02:49 PM
12

Both abhorrent. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:22 PM
2

I get what you’re saying, but I still don’t think that’s warranted by any stretch even if they look like they are rolling in cash, it’s just really crass manners.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:21 PM
6

Hmm, honestly no. I think it’s a bit juvenile for a grown man. So yeah. All round no.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:19 PM
3

Asking about salary like that is plain rude, that’s not even something I ask my friends. Ask what someone does for a living and make your own inferences from that, otherwise it’s as invasive a question as ‘what’s your n-count?’ . Both of those are off the scale, won’t get a second date rude. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:01 PM
7

This would be a no go for me if it’s on his main account. That’s public…like everyone can see who you follow and it takes a few clicks to see you’re commenting on those people. It’s the embarrassment factor of your partner not hiding that stuff from your family members or people you both know. I have a sizeable presence on Instagram, and he does too. For me, that would be a real issue because work and professional life. If I’m searchable to clients, he is by extension as are the rest of my famil…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 09:49 AM
9

I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 09:40 PM
8

Cool
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 07:01 PM
25

Exactly. I’m super high libido, but nothing kills libido like feeling disrespected, unheard and under appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 06:32 PM
8

Thiiiiiiis right here
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 06:08 PM
33

Because if you don’t have effective communication and conflict resolution techniques with each other when stuff is bothering you, resentment builds in the relationship and resentment is libido death. You’re micro focussing on sexual arousal when I have just explained that 90% of a good, lasting sex life is what the relationship is like outside the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 06:02 PM
25

All relationships will have peaks and troughs regarding sex and closeness. You need to establish that you’re sexually compatible as a baseline before you marry/have children/cohabitate , then it’s communication and keeping the relationship alive outside the bedroom that will keep things good within it. Obviously there are some things that can have effects on libido throughout life like medications, illnesses and such, which can’t really be helped.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 05:54 PM
9

This is why I think investing in hobbies that allow you to socialise with mixed gender groups is a good thing. It allows you time to ‘get more comfortable’ with the bonus of everyone being distracted and focussed on whatever the activity is. There’s less pressure to socialise directly that way (as in the focus isn’t on the socialising part) , but you are still in an environment where you’d naturally be getting to know each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 08:33 PM
9

Mmm’kay so that’s one tick in the ‘doesn’t like women’ column. Just keepin’ score here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 02:37 PM
2

I think the point is that if you are an inherently good person, it’s not an effort to be kind. It comes naturally. This should have been stuff taught as a kid really. And I totally agree that sometimes we are exhausted if we keep giving. But that’s usually in the context of an imbalance relationship of some kind, rather than just day to day kindness. For example. I will open the door for someone if they are walking behind me or toward me as I enter a room or a building. That’s built into me, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 09:20 AM
1

Yeah, I feel like this is something I taught my toddler, and now that he’s ten I occasionally need to remind him of the fact. If people are getting to adulthood with these transactional attitudes to kindness…what went wrong? That’s like…child parenting 101.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 09:18 AM
1

I would totally do those things with you Cim :) I don’t have anyone to play D&D with here !
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 08:15 AM
9

Absolutely. Rejection hurts, it lowers anyones self esteem. I think as a human being you have an absolute duty to be kind back to people even if you are rejecting them. Just be kind. When I was an illustrator looking for an agent, I found the worst rejections were the ones where they barely took the time to remember your name. They were utterly crushing because they were so impersonal and cold. The better ones were the ones where they remembered to say your name, to give you some positive feedba…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 07:41 AM
1

Made the mistake of being with someone promiscuous once and shock horror he cheated on me and gave me an STI.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 05:03 PM
1

I do not want to go with a man who has vastly more experience than me. Even at my advanced age, I’d prefer we were relatively similar in the amount of people we’ve been with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 04:58 PM
12

It really does make men seem like these absolutely pathetic creatures that can’t possibly contribute to life unless someone dangles a carrot (vagina) in front of their unkempt faces to give them something to reach for. Absolute grade A own goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 08:20 AM
5

Yeah! Those looksmaxxing posts make me giggle. The stuff they list is like a third as long as the average woman does AS STANDARD just to maintain day to day hygiene and professional looks. And they whinge they have to keep their hair tidy and go gym. Come the fuck on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 08:17 AM
2

My experience as well, am 35 years old, all friends I’ve known throughout the years dating always offered to go halves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 02:53 PM
3

Same. My Instagram is almost entirely artwork and illustration. I have never seen a instamodel type on my suggested page.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 09:28 AM
2

Yeah it can be. My husbands dad is definitely on the spectrum but was never diagnosed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 05:03 PM
7

Yes I agree we should not use terms like small dick energy. I don’t think that was that gotcha you hoped it would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 09:59 AM
5

Can we stop with the ableism please? It’s gross. Sincerely signed, lady with autistic partner and possibly autistic son.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 09:25 AM
0

Yeah that’s pretty much the way me and my partner are. Secular country, not that many tangible benefits, not that fussed. Maybe would be nice one day when we have enough excess income to afford an expensive party but otherwise marriage is a bit pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 09:18 AM
1

This is an odd one for me. I frequently call my partner of 14 years my husband and he introduces me to people as his wife. We have a son together. We do plan on getting married but I always point blank said I’d prefer to prioritise other things, like saving deposit money for houses. We are not a very traditional couple and it’s just never come up as a highly important thing to us. We both know we will marry eventually because it’ll make pensions and things easier, but for me it’s more like the i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 08:46 AM
2

A bit of both , it’s hard to tell sometimes !
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 02:00 PM
2

Ok. Honestly don’t have the energy. Don’t put a label on it then. Still wouldn’t have any sexy feelings in a room full of Greek god attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:58 PM
1

Most women fancy celebrities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:38 PM
3

Yeah it’s not about better or worse. It’s just something I live with. I’ve been sexually attracted to exactly 5 people in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 10:16 AM
3

I never said 4 times a day. I said multiple. You have literally based your entire argument over a number you completely made up in your head. I would say at the start, within the first few months, whenever we saw eachother we would literally stay in bed the entire weekend, sex 6 times a day for a bit. We moved in together within 6 months, I worked from home, he was home during the day too, quickie when we woke up. Did whatever needed doing for a few hours, more fun mid afternoon, then usually a …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 10:10 AM
4

I don’t want to take the time to. It’s of no consequence to me whether he believes in it or not. I still wouldn’t/couldn’t have sex with someone I don’t know simply because they are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 07:26 AM
8

Working from home definitely helps! Glad you’re still having a good time 24 years later. I hope me and my husband do too!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:29 AM
7

That’s a long way to say you’ve never felt insatiably drawn to another person. We’ve been together 14 years so it works for us! I was a fledging illustrator, he worked evenings in theatre and live venues. We had plenty of time during the day. It’s was fun, we were only like 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:04 AM
8

Would you like some pepper with all that salt?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:03 AM
5

Mm’kay
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 12:02 AM
3

The perfect evening
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 10:01 PM
25

I think me and my husband were multiple times a day for about 4 years, then we had a baby and all the busy things of life happen so it’s more like daily/every other day now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 09:27 PM
11

I’m Demi though so you could put me in a room with an extremely attractive person and I’d probably just draw them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 09:25 PM
15

I firmly believe the people who have these marriages are the ones who found someone who was just ‘good enough’ and got married because that’s what you’re meant to do. They always end up with a honeymoon phase that fizzles out after a few years and after that there’s not much left there to build a lifetime upon. I really hope as humans move into the future, we concentrate less on finding someone to marry and more on finding someone who is our ‘kindred spirit’. I feel like there’d be less affairs.…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 09:23 PM
2

Absolutely. Do you have a six stage skincare routine already? Go you!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 07:34 PM
2

Just general hygiene day to day stuff really: Skin: Sunscreen, yes even in winter, even indoors or in the car. Good skincare routine - cleanse 2x daily, moisturise, hyalauronic acid serum, and a retinol like Tretinoin (long term use helps keep your skin renewing and less wrinkles) Clothes. Whatever your style is doesn’t matter too much, but make sure your clothes are clean, updated frequently and you wear nice shoes. If a guy has a nice looking style but his shoes look weird I notice instantly. …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:52 PM
-1

I definitely did not go out with top percentage men at 14-18 years old they were just kinda normal boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 09:36 PM
-1

I mean, the people I had relationships were men so like.. they were having relationships too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 09:16 PM
-1

What’s not the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 08:43 PM
2

It depends. I’m self employed as a published Children’s book illustrator. And I’d rather not give numbers online but this year I made 3x more than my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 06:43 PM
12

Why do you assume that is what the working life of a woman who earns a lot looks like ? I work from home, in a home studio. No corporate ladder stresses , just normal job stuff, at home, listening to music.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 06:00 PM
4

Yeah I think I can see where you’re coming from if you are coming from a religious background, because religion kind of stokes those good/bad beliefs and behaviours in such a black and white way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:55 PM
1

Probably a bit! I didn’t mean it to be, I was just imagining myself at 18 and thinking , would it have put the breaks on a bit for me if He told me he’d never had a girlfriend. And I think for me it would have , just because I’d already had a few boyfriends by 18 and would feel like we weren’t compatible as much?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:52 PM
5

But all that really doesn’t account for the fact most people are able to appropriately behave in a multi faceted way depending on circumstance and environment. A woman can be both an excellent, nurturing parent and a highly sexual person, who is fun, sexy and daring. No, you aren’t sexy around your kids, and no you don’t act like a mum in the bedroom. Like I just don’t get how women are either/or here. I am capable of making sure the kiddo has a nutritious dinner, then 20 minutes later be buying…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:29 PM
2

Are you married? I feel like you aren’t. How old are you? Do you really understand what it takes to keep life ticking along in a household with children? I feel like you’re preaching at me, when you yourself have very little experience of such things personally other than growing up within a family. Family is work, the house is work, marriage and long term relationships are work. If one person isn’t working (as in putting in the effort) and the other is picking up the slack for many years, even …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:18 PM
9

Why do women have to be either Madonnas or whores? Aren’t most women a bit of both and everything between? This feels horribly sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 04:31 PM
2

It’s not about how ‘petty’ it seems. Anyone overworked for long enough will lose respect for the person who is seeing that happen and doing nothing about it when they are apparently meant to care about their spouse. If a woman happens to be the breadwinner, and the man is not then picking up the slack elsewhere to help her keep being the breadwinner, he’s not stepping up to do his duty to his family. As a person I feel some sense of wanting my surroundings to be nice, but not ‘as a woman’, my pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 04:10 PM
0

Probably 18, personally. Im having to think back a bit here since I’m an old lady now but growing up I would have been a bit hmmm about a guy if he hadn’t had a girlfriend by adulthood. Probably more forgiving if it’s due to being a bit sheltered or shy? Definitely less forgiving if he’d had a bunch of noncommittal things going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 01:13 PM
4

Yeah! And I wouldn’t say that’s unusual. The development of relationships is rarely a Linear A to B to C. The majority of people I know met their spouse through friendships or as peers in university for example. There was no ‘first move’ in the stereotypical sense, more of a series of small things and signs that allowed each to realise they liked each other and to go from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 08:25 AM
1

A lot has already been covered in other replies so it doesn’t need repeating. One to note though is that studies show women being expected to overcompensate in household workload even when they themselves are the breadwinners is a big issue in divorce rates. Many of these studies have taken place in Scandinavian countries where all else being relatively equal still shows a sizeable chunk of inequity in distribution of household responsibilities. This Is a highly nuanced issue of course but one b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 08:21 AM
2

Agreed! I had my first job at 15.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 06:43 PM
1

It absolutely baffles me that the things listed are considered ‘looksmaxxing’. Most of those things are achievable quite easily and feel like base standard ‘clean person’ things, such as having trimmed nails and wearing neat clothes and a bit of aftershave. That’s like a third of what average women do on the daily for practically their whole lives. I mean yeah if you peel it back that much so it’s just basic hygiene…of course women care about looks. It seems ‘looksmaxxing’ is just standard clean…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 05:07 PM
13

Initiating relationships or initiating contact? Two different things. My husband approached me first and we got to know each other as friends. After it was obvious we liked each other, we had a sort of date thing and then I made the first move after that by initiating our first kiss. So who initiated? No idea tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 04:58 PM
2

I only know of a few. One when I was about 20 (so a century ago) and it was a guy friend who had requested an open relationship with his long term girlfriend. The other is not as much an open relationship as a poly one (I’m not incredibly sure of the difference?) was requested by the woman after she cheated. He accepted it, continued the relationship with her but still maintains that he is highly monogamous. I have no idea how he does it, as a very monogamous person, my partner being poly would …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 02:12 PM
18

Yeah this is it. Why go all out to tell the world who you find unpalatable? That kind of talk has such an air of superiority about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 07:55 AM
1

Yeah size and shape I mentioned in another reply are no good for gauging someone’s level of health. Perhaps I should amend to heavily unwell drug addicted, general recreational drug users you can’t really tell. But you can definitely tell after many years of addicted using, it looks like crap. Not at first, but it catches up on your quickly. We aren’t just talking about people who have some blow on a weekend recreationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 07:03 PM
0

Quick caveat ‘Unhealthy body’ refers to someone who is abusing themselves with drugs or alcohol and not weight or body shape. Men and women who enjoy healthy food and good lifestyles can be all kinds of weights and shapes
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:47 AM
1

Exactly! I think it’s definitely makes a difference how much you invest in yourself and the effort you’re making. If you are projecting unhealthy body and mind, people will perceive you that way
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:45 AM
2

Yeah! Definitely made worse if you’re a drinker with the dreaded beer belly!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 10:39 PM
2

Yeah my 20’s were taken up with parenting my son (now 10) but I’m actually glad we had him earlier and can now enjoy our 30s without being exhausted!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 10:35 PM
5

I agree. But the average 30ish dude when I walk round the local supermarket, is not reaaaaallly taking care of himself. I’m not saying men suddenly become awful after a certain age, they definitely don’t, just that I reckon mid 20s is generally their looks peek and 30s probably career peek for the average. I think it’s roughly the same for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 09:35 PM
27

Not really no. Average men are in average(ish) careers which might or might not peak at 30, same as women. They are generally more financially secure in their 30s , same as women but we probably shouldn’t be deluding ourselves that the average guy will become a prime catch at 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 08:23 PM
5

Yeah I’d say anywhere from 1-3 times a week is good. Everyday and you might be encountering a quantity vs quality issue. You want to be able to take the time to be really present, no interruptions etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 07:13 PM
5

Really it’s someone who doesn’t look after themselves. Poor cleanliness and hygiene, very unwell drug user, badly dressed in tatty clothing etc. you can’t really give specific features as unattractive since I think when it gets to that point, attractiveness is really subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 07:09 PM
3

Hmmm, I’m sure many people probably could change their perspectives on casual sex or their preferences. I struggled because my ex continued to make comments that didn’t sit right with me throughout our relationship so I just never felt matched up right with him sexually. He’d say stuff like ‘she’s fucking hot I’d smash her back door in’ which to most people might seem like a relatively normal ‘guy’ thing to say but since I can’t see people in that way (that I’m not emotionally connected to) it j…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:09 PM
6

Same. As a Demi I have a low(ish) number, and I wanted to be with a guy who also had a low(ish) number whose attitude to how they see sex matched up to mine. It’s not that I think sex is sacred or anything, just that I simply can’t have sex with a stranger or someone I’m not connected to in an emotional way. I had an ex who had loads of casual sex before we were together, and we just never saw eye to eye on sex and that weirded me out a lot. He was a typical ‘have sex with whoever’ kinda guy and…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:00 PM
1

Thanks :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 11:09 PM
1

Yeast infections don’t tend to cause smells , more likely BV
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 11:08 PM
9

Omfg please tell me this is a wind up
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 10:42 PM
5

No No Where’s question 3? Poor middle child forgotten again. I’m sure there must be women out there that are into actual bad guys. Maybe they think they can fix them? That’s Too much of a project for me but serial killers have girl fan clubs for whatever reason so some people must have a thing for them. I think bad men can probably be very charming, and will happily walk over other people to find success, so they are possibly more likely to have more success. Women maybe don’t realise until it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 07:18 PM
2

Footballers in the early 2000’s a bit of a reputation for partying, so I’m not surprised Rooney et al are showing that now. (Mind you Rooney was always weird looking)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 05:24 PM
2

I think that is majorly dropping off. 26% of UK under 24s are teetotal, Gen x and up drinking is still far too much. Millennial and below it’s much less prevalent than it was. Personally I don’t drink, neither does my husband or many of our friends, but there has definitely been a culture of abusing alcohol here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 04:22 PM
1

I think that’s very dependent on where you are in the UK.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 02:13 PM
1

Also just as a disclaimer, i went to uni 15 years ago at the start of Tory leadership. Its definitely gotten far worse since then and I’d say the result is that class seems to be rearing it’s head more again. I think we should be doing more to get kids from disadvantaged backgrounds into better universities but lack of funding over the last ten years is now really showing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 11:55 AM
1

Yeah that’s fair. I was coming from the perspective of university fees being the same for most (outside of London) and your grades being what makes your application successful. I definitely agree that class exists, but that US universities charge considerably more to out of state students. Meaning if you are from a state with a lower socioeconomic standard, it’ll be that much harder to move to a university in a different state regardless of your grades. That coupled with uk students having that …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 11:51 AM
0

I don’t know the answer to this. I think it could be a cultural thing? I think dates should be cheap (certainly so to start with) and generally in the UK I’d say there’s less culture around expensive dinners. I’ve been on many many expensive dinners with my partner, but that was well after we’d established our relationship, so the focus was on our shared interest in nice food. More of an expensive hobby we shared. I wonder if the UK having less focus on class divide plays into this more. I’m not…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 10:57 AM
1

Haha true! I think my husband and me’s first date (if you can call it that, I don’t think we did, we were just getting to know each other) was to a local Folk Festival. No one ‘paid’ particularly, we just spent a day out together, bought each other some drinks, grabbed a curry (yep) on the way home.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 10:32 AM
2

Same! Going straight to wining and dining sounds odd to me too. Maybe UK ladies are just cheap dates haha!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 09:58 AM
3

Altruism is wonderful. Not the narcissistic kind though. Do it quietly and without being all ‘look how amazing I am’ about it, otherwise it comes off as showcasing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 11:45 PM
3

yes
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 11:24 PM
1

I agree and I’m sorry you went through that. I was somewhat similar at a young age. We do definitely try to make sure he knows we are proud of him and I really hope it’s just something that will settle with time like yours did. Thanks so much for your insight :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:36 PM
2

Ahhh same! He just has that thing about him that people remember and like! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:10 PM
2

I would 1000% say I dated down in the past though!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:07 PM
8

This is what I thought! I typed it out but then saw your comment and deleted it! My husband makes less too, he is attractive, and I’d say maybe I liked him because he’s quite socially popular? I wouldn’t say I’m dating down but I don’t know what we’re meant to be judging it by!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:06 PM
5

Women with autism remain massively undiagnosed though so it’s tricky to gather realistic stats.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 05:08 PM
2

Daddy chill
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:57 PM
1

Wow chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:41 PM
1

That sucks! I’ve only had one kiddo and that’s exhausting enough even with a partner who is very involved. Honestly can’t imagine the bone deep tiredness of having 8 with no help.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:38 PM
3

Crying thinking about it!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:32 PM
8

Also her poor pelvic floor.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:35 PM
8

FML that’s like a third of a class of kids all at different learning stages. That would drive most mothers to the brink tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:15 PM
4

I have seen men here use that language to describe why women in their late 20s who’ve had a few previous relationships are undesirable. Normal women with normal life experiences. Most men and women have had some relationships before they are 30. With respect, ‘run through’ in general language means ‘ruined or destroyed’ and is an example of the way some men here talk about women in the context of them only wanting virgins or people who haven’t had a previous relationship. The fact you decided I …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 10:45 AM
3

I also never mentioned sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:49 AM
3

I didn’t say excessive partners? I said some relationship experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 09:46 AM
7

And yet, so many men here say they’d like the listening ear of a partner who didn’t judge them if they were being vulnerable. It’s a shame they would feel so put out to return the favour. Many of the reply comments here have zeroed in on promiscuity and relationship baggage rather than seeing that someone with some relationship experience could actually be a more capable and well rounded partner. That’s interesting to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 07:15 AM
1

As I suspected.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 07:08 AM
5

I just got up at midnight and ate a few pickles out of a jar in the fridge then came back to bed. What box do I go in?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 12:37 AM
6

Ok dudey, have fun with that :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 12:33 AM
3

I love a bit of comfortable silence with those I’m comfortable just being in the presence of. Like both of you reading a book or something but you’re hugged up next to each other or touching in some way is my favourite thing. Does depend on the relationship, I like conversation but prefer to talk about something interesting or have meaningful conversations. I can’t bare small talk, but will do it with acquaintances because awkward silence with people you’ve just met is worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 12:24 AM
16

This is why the ‘I don’t want a girl whose been run through by other guys,and has baggage’ thing doesn’t make sense. People who’ve had some relationship experience before have a bit more of an idea about what they want and don’t want in a partner, which is generally a good thing. Also. Live, love, laugh signs can get in the bin.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 10:50 PM
3

Not body image issues, self image. He overthinks and thinks people don’t like him. It’s definitely anxiety based and we are working on getting to the route of it! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 05:54 PM
6

There are lots of demisexual women with high libidos. I’m guessing by high inhibition you mean ‘doesn’t want to have sex with lots of different people’ ? Anyhoo yeah, demisexual women and men are very choosy about who they have sex with but their libidos vary wildly from extra high to normal to low/verging on a-sexual. So they are definitely out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 04:51 PM
1

Thank you :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 04:46 PM
1

Aww I totally understand the worry! Hopefully working with the speech pathologist more will help but it would definitely be good if the parents were more proactive with him. Honestly I am constantly worrying about my son, he’s got to an age where all the social side of things starts to really ramp up and we just want to give him the best possible chance for his teen years to go smoothly!! Parenting is harrrrrd!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 04:16 PM
2

Too late! Ffs
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 02:23 PM
4

Thank you! He’s got some good friends, but he’s quite a sensitive soul, very clever and possibly on the spectrum though he’s very well adjusted socially. He’s a bit of an over thinker!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 02:21 PM
2

What is that? Is it safe to google?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 02:14 PM
1

He is a great mix of both me and his dad. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 02:05 PM
0

Aww this sounds great! I will definitely share it with him :) thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:57 PM
7

It’s interesting! I had to have this talk with my 10 year old son this week who is having some problems at school with anxiety and self image. His feelings of sadness are making him see others negatively as well. So we’ve been talking though things each night since, and we are trying to get him to practise mindfulness by seeing good in himself and then seeing good things in all his classmates: so he comes home and tells us something he liked about himself that day, and something he liked that ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:43 PM
115

So men with positive attitudes about themselves, saw other people positively too?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:10 PM
1

Yeah that rings true for me too. Got to have a bit of spice and power play in there!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 11:43 AM
1

Cal killed himself after the Wall Street Crash in the 20s, he lost his fortune.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 11:25 AM
3

This is the answer
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 11:07 AM
1

Yeah I’d agree. The first heartbreak for me was by far the worst and hardest, and not because I was so in love with him. Looking back now I wasn’t but I was young, naive and infatuated. I’m glad I did that while I was young. It’s really important to get some relationship ‘practise’ in before the big ones so you can understand that pain gets better with time and new opportunity is possible after heartbreak. Also you gain practise with setting important relational boundaries, healthy communication…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 08:06 AM
1

I don’t know. I’ve only really noticed someone in that way when the sexual attraction happened. Otherwise it’s just like looking at good paintings or a nicely decorated room… I don’t really have anything else to compare it against. I didn’t meet my partner with the intention of dating him, and I never have met up with people in that way initially. My relationships have always come from people I already knew, who I ended up attracted to because I felt an emotional connection to them. I can only s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 04:34 PM
1

Ahh got it. No I think that’s correct honestly. If I found him unpleasant to look at I don’t think I would have done? I don’t really know though really, I suppose in that sense I was technically attracted towards what he looked like just not sexually
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 06:49 AM
2

Ok? It took about 4 months for the attraction to form so I’d say it was noticeably not there to start with. What’s your point? I answered the question…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 12:22 AM
7

In order to hit the gym, women need a partner who understands that it takes time to care for yourself. Those partners are the ones taking parenting slack so that the mother CAN go to the gym or have a healthy walk. You can’t in one breath say men can’t be expected to take any slack and then in the next say women not hitting the gym after childbirth are lazy. Pick a lane. You can’t have your cake and eat it. Unless one partner is willing to allow women the time to care for themselves, they can’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 05:08 PM
3

Thank you! He is great, things haven’t always been perfect, we’ve been through a lot of shit together, but he was always my person. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 05:00 PM
13

Yeah I’m pretty sure I’m demisexual, so I didn’t experience physical attraction until I knew him. (For the record, he is objectively attractive) but I can’t differentiate seeing someone who looks nice from seeing a nice looking lamp until sexual attraction hits. Edited to add- as soon as attraction hit and we got into a relationship I couldn’t keep my hands off him and still can’t 14 years later. It just takes longer for me to go from ‘you look pleasant’ to ‘I want to rip your clothes off’ . We …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 04:24 PM
2

Yeah it’s exactly that. They argue against us when we say it’s about revenge and pulling people down, but then you get more than a few comments in with them and the revenge fantasy is written all over their words. Plain as day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 04:04 PM
11

Oh totally. I am so thankful for my partner, his proactive nature as a partner and parent means that I’ve got time to go to the gym, get manicures, hair care, skin care, take time to select nicer clothes and put on makeup. All those things make such a difference to your mental health and feeling nice about yourself. Obviously these only apply if you enjoy doing them, any self care activity will improve your overall wellbeing and help prevent burnout.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 03:43 PM
46

I think I agree although I wouldn’t say it’s a wall as much as when you’ve got younger kids it gets harder to prioritise yourself for a bit. One thing to point out though is that the father/husband plays a big role here. Someone who is able to pick up parenting slack and allows the mother time to practise self care is infinitely better than someone who doesn’t. That’s a win win for everyone including the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 03:11 PM
9

This was posted after Purge finished.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 02:40 PM
8

I’m really glad you managed to get yourself out of that situation. I think so many fall further into it. It’s a hard thing to do, to self reflect and improve yourself instead of looking for blame everywhere else. Hope your life continues to get better and better :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:53 PM
21

Title of the post was ‘what do men who constantly post and speak about men preferring teenage girls hope to achieve’ The constantly was the word which gave me the understanding we weren’t just talking about people casually mentioning it in conversation. That doesn’t indicate to me a normal person saying ‘well objectively younger people are more attractive’ . The ‘constantly’ indicates an unhealthy obsession with telling other people what men don’t find attractive. You do that to hurt people or t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:50 PM
24

Yes exactly this! This Is a phenomena I have rarely seen in the ‘real world’ with men who are generally social and established. Confident and happy people don’t take pleasure in loudly telling everyone else how they don’t measure up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:43 PM
26

Yes. We are talking about two different things though. There’s the objective reality , then there’s what a bunch of the guys say here, Which comes out as basically shouting loudly at women in order to ‘hurt’ them. Everyone has preferences. Fine, whatever, no/one really cares unless it’s weird and illegal. Loudly screaming into the abyss that women over a certain age (usually 30 or younger) aren’t wanted by any men is not about informing others around them of their preferences, it’s about attempt…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:34 PM
3

Omg I remember these guys hanging out around the edges of metal gigs talking about the matrix.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:09 PM
1

Partner went through a very bad mental health patch about 8 years ago, was put on some medication that crashed his libido for a few months. If I’m being honest It made me feel awful, unhappy and insecure. But, I had to dig deep and be patient and communicative, and listen. Frequent (good) sex and intimacy is near the top in terms of priorities in a relationship for me personally. So when it’s not happening, I notice. Sexlessness timeframe for me (barring times when we physically can’t because bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 11:00 AM
1

I am indifferent to it. But I think it should be legalised everywhere so that the industry can be properly managed to try to prevent incidences of trafficking and coercion. I think if a guy or girl is terminally lonely, they should be able to legally go to a sex worker for their needs. Saying that, I would not date a man that had ever been to a sex worker. That would be a dealbreaker for me personally. That’s just not my thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 10:32 AM
98

Honestly My personal interpretation of it is it’s mostly from spite as a kind of revenge. ‘Look how gross you are to all of us guys, you’re over the hill at 30’ etc etc. they are essentially trying to drop women’s self esteem because they feel wronged by their life experiences. It’s sort of a childish ‘I didn’t want X anyway’ response.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 09:51 AM
1

Oh thank you that’s very kind! Yes that’s me, I think I took that photo early December so it is very recent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 09:41 AM
3

I’m turning 35 in a few weeks and my fb memories showed me a selfie from 10 years ago. I had a good look at it to see if much had changed. All in all, really not much has changed except I go to the gym more now and I have a line that wasn’t there before on the side of my forehead. I think people here vastly overplay the difference. I don’t think we see significant changes until maybe the lead up to menopause, or unless our lifestyle changes significantly/ stop making effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 08:34 AM
7

I don’t think people who aren’t red pilled care enough about it all to make memes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 06:48 PM
4

Women at the time did not have more opportunities than Mozart did. His father was a composer who taught him piano and he was under the nose of the royal court before he was 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 11:18 AM
5

Do you think that is because women are incapable of being as talented as Mozart or that they simply didn’t have the opportunities that a man in the 18th century was given?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 11:05 AM
5

When I look at the illustration world and see that book illustration (bestsellers) is still dominated by men (less so perhaps than 50 years ago, but still skewed in their favour) it makes me feel like I want to keep going, makes me want it more, makes me want to work harder and support more women illustrators. This does not mean I don’t support male illustrators. I do, and my favourite artists comprise of both men and women. But I’m not blind and I can see the disparity in top publishing. There …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:58 AM
2

That’s an interesting thought. I think if we won the lottery and it was a lot, I would still feel uncomfortable about the idea of people ‘expecting’ us to pay , but am aware that disparities in wealth between friendships and family members can create these kinds of uncomfortable dynamics. One of the reasons this situations feels particularly uncomfortable is because this person lost their parent and people who are meant to care for her are making flippant comments about ‘inheritance pockets’ whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:37 AM
2

And before anyone jumps in about shared finances. My partner and I share all our finances, and I can tell you that if someone simply expected us to pay for them just ‘because’ , it would make us a million times less likely to do so. I love being generous with my family if I can, but expecting someone to pay is frankly rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:20 AM
7

Yeah this is about taking advantage of someone who has just lost their parent. Absolutely no. Still no if you reverse the gender. People who take advantage are absolute degenerate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:17 AM
2

Yeah this. I met my partner, had a kid and all the rest WHILE I was getting qualifications. Things can happen at the same time. I didn’t waste any time at all. Met partner in final year of uni, had a kid after a few years of being together, then got PGCE when little one was a few years old. It’s not some chess game where you can only make one move at a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:04 AM
2

I have a degree because it was expected that I would go to uni, because that’s just what people do. I never even thought it wasn’t an option. I chose to because everyone I knew was going to uni and it didn’t occur to me not to go. For the record, I’m from UK where student finance is an option so an awful lot of people who aren’t going directly into trades from A level qualifications, go to uni.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 09:18 AM
2

Exactly!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 09:14 AM
1

Because it’s important to themselves. Have you ever really asked a woman why she has a degree and been met by the answer ‘it makes me more marriageable’?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 09:14 AM
0

Is swipe right for a match ? If so. Probably not, but if his bio is satire sounds like he might have a good sense of humour.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 01:54 PM
2

Awww no I love Brendan, such a sweetheart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 11:10 AM
2

Oh golly gosh I’m terrified
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 10:35 AM
1

I mean. I didn’t say they suddenly turn ugly, I also didn’t say all men or anything approaching that. I don’t think anyone here has said a late bloomers doesn’t qualify as better looking in their 30s. In fact in my other comment I said there are some people who actually look better in their 30s. I think a ‘late bloomer’ would qualify for that for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 01:23 PM
1

It’s nice for you that you look young for your age. That’s great. Most guys still tend to look their best mid 20s though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 12:56 PM
2

Some people end up looking better but that’s usually due to a major lifestyle change where they were not doing well in their 20s (maybe drink/drug problems or they decided to prioritise fitness more) and they do end up looking better on their 30s but that is because they were coming out of a situation that was making them look worse when they were younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 10:05 AM
3

Hmm. Most men on average are not looking better over 30… They’ve gained wrinkles and weight just the same. Most of my friends are mid 30s, and I’ve known them since teen years.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 10:03 AM
1

*the illustrator who understands anatomy coPe The elbow falls about 6 inches too far above the base of the rib cage , making it look wrong. Fixed it for you :) Edited to add for those who want a quick anatomy lesson: If you straighten her arm it would fall half way down her bum. Humans arms and hands will generally fall at the top of their thighs when standing straight, unless they have a deformity of some kind. This drawings arms are like six inches too short and it’s painfully obvious. If you’…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 11:29 PM
1

This is a better drawing than most of the others to be fair. 10/10 prawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:34 PM
1

All these people have tiny flappy t-Rex arms.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:29 PM
0

Wtf is with the anatomy tonight?! Why the fuck can’t people illustrate porn properly?!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:21 PM
2

I am an oldie and I feel this is sage advice. Fetch me my slippers and a mug of warm milk sonny Jim.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:19 PM
3

I’d say it’s more illustrator shit. I bet it’s the first thing any male illustrator peers would say too. Ugh poor anatomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 09:01 PM
6

In fact her entire Arm is Jeremy Beadle.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:59 PM
5

That hand by her head is so poorly drawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:58 PM
0

Why not just go to a prostitute? Surely that’s cheaper than an animatronic robot doll. Unless you go in with a group of your friends and share I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:52 PM
2

Ahh I see. Noo I think it’s good to go halves but better still I’d hate dinner for a first date because it feels like there’s no escape. A coffee would be best, you can leave after one coffee if things aren’t going well or stay way longer or do something else like go for a walk if it’s going well. It’s way more flexible and cheaper, without awkward money conversations, maybe dinner could be like a third date or something then you can take it in turns to pay? By that point I’d assume things are m…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:34 PM
1

NeverMind, don’t think I want to know,
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:31 PM
3

Treat as in pay for? If it’s pay for the whole date or meal , no I wouldn’t expect that. If you mean treat as in, buys a chocolate chip cookie that looks nice when you walk by a bakery, that’s definitely a nice gesture.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:28 PM
2

What’s dummy thick?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:25 PM
3

I saw that too. It was pretty shocking to be honest but tracks with people who I’ve known who went down the RP rabbit hole. I also agree that self improvement is a really useful tool and if RP were just about that there wouldn’t be a problem. But too often it descends into ‘who else can I blame for my lacking life?’ And the content appeals to people who are already looking for someone to blame. Most people don’t need RP content in order to be open to self improvement, or to seek self awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 05:47 PM
2

Delicious pun intended also. Oooh wordgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 03:12 PM
5

Ok but let’s not let that distract from the delicious irony of this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 03:10 PM
21

“Reading is for losers” …bet he wished he’d read the side of that pizza box before pressing record on his phone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:31 AM
1

I think it’s probably A. Physical attraction can and does grow but by the time you’ve had a date or two the attraction (in my experience) is either there or it isn’t. I think once I’ve decided I’m attracted, I will begin to signal of my own accord but I will wait a little to see their body language too. My partner and I had a bit of a back and forth dance over this. We were friends for a couple of months (no dating) but had been a little flirty, I really don’t tend to flirt at all unless there’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:24 AM
2

What I mean is that he didn’t enter my head as an option until I knew him and had speaking to him for a few weeks after I met him. Edited to add; hypothetically since I’ve never used Tinder or any online dating thing, but it’s highly likely I’d have not matched with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 10:41 AM
6

Not necessarily. If my husband, who I am very very physically attracted to, approached me and asked me out the first time we met, I’d have said no, (I’m glad he didn’t do that, he just introduced himself and chatted a bit then we both went off to mingle with other mutual friends) My attraction can take a few weeks/months to grow. I’m just simply not into people right off the bat, I need some warm up time.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 09:00 AM
1

Umm Kristoff. Dear darling Kristoff. That’s all I’m going to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 11:39 PM
1

Did…did you read it?!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 07:12 PM
1

Maybe not the drive through. I don’t know anyone that had a completely unprofessional job after their degree. Also, using a term such as ‘art degree’ is a bit unspecific. You can’t compare a specific degree to an umbrella term like ‘art’. There is no such thing as just an art degree, that would be like saying just a ‘science’ degree. Degrees in the visual arts include: Illustration, Graphic design, Fine art (this is one that is less commercial and many people struggle to make a living), Animatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 09:57 AM
1

Lots of professional illustrators are getting 20k+ for each book they do plus royalties. Many can average between 4-8 books a year plus extras from their other projects (commissions and/or selling prints and products). Royalties roll on throughout your career for as long as the books you illustrated are selling, if the books are made into a film or animation, you get a lump sum again and royalties again for that new product. Extra lump sums when a book is published in a new country, or a special…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 11:11 PM
1

Hi! Art degree here. I earn more than an electrical engineer. Just googled their average salary.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 11:04 PM
9

I’m with you on the musicians. I don’t like painfully thin though. I like broad guys, slightly rugged and raw looking. That second archetype guy you posted there is my worst nightmare. Absolutely ‘turn in the other direction’ nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 04:43 PM
3

You know I remember my grandmother turning to me when I went off to uni (she was a SAHM and housewife in the 50s) and saying how she was so envious and proud that I could do this. That really stuck with me. She so badly wanted to have had a career, to have been educated and have qualifications. Whenever I was struggling at University I thought about that conversation I had with her. She died during my first year there and I’d give anything for her to see how my career has progressed and my siste…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 10:21 AM
1

I mean, I wasn’t necessarily referring to looks at all, I was just saying that women tend to be selective, I made no reference to what they are selective about, since that will vary from woman to woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 08:58 AM
2

Is it bad? I’m not American so I don’t know much about bad US chocolate!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 08:49 AM
4

You know what? I love chocolate. I don’t like cheap chocolate though. I like quality chocolate. I’ll eat a whole bunch of luxury chocolate. Doesn’t mean I don’t like chocolate, does it? Women don’t like sex less, they are just more selective. Concentrate on being luxury tempered salted caramel chocolates and not Hersheys.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 01:34 AM
3

Aww yes this is one of the best takes on relationships lasting I’ve seen on here. Totally agree, my top 3 things differ slightly but I can see where you’re coming from. PS I’m an artist too (illustrator) and this is a big one for me, I need someone who can emotionally understand the depths of artistic creation, whether that’s with music, writing or making images.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 10:05 AM
5

This!! I’ve even been talking to people this week who are in relationships with people they Know they don’t really find attractive just because they are nice enough people and they want to be in a relationship . Those relationships will inevitably break down. I’ve been with my partner 14 years and have never experienced an ‘end’ to the honeymoon period. Our relationship ebbs and flows naturally over the years but at the core the compatibility is there, the communication is there, and the mutual …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 09:59 AM
2

Haha ok! For reference we have been together for 14 years. No red flags here. When I met him he was 18 years old and was qualified at college level and already working as a sound engineer which is what he wanted to be doing. No degree was necessary. He is retraining now because the job has changed considerably since the pandemic, and he’s decided the unsociable hours of working in the entertainment industry are not what he wants to be doing for his ‘older years’ and he has been told for many yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 08:34 AM
1

Oh really haha! I never thought about it being intriguing! On Here I’ve seen arts degrees come up a few times as ‘pointless’. Which is a bit upsetting, but I guess understandable for people who aren’t familiar with the industry. (There is a lot of money in it, and good work, but there’s an element of luck and a few years of seriously hard work to get yourself out there)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 09:31 PM
1

Aww thanks! It was fun! I focussed more on the illustration side of it. You had to choose whether you’d focus on illustration or animation in the final year and whilst I LOVE all the developmental and concept art side of animations, I have zero patience for redrawing frames a trillion times , so illustration was a better fit! Unfortunately, you do still have to redraw stuff a million times with illustration too, haha!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 08:57 PM
8

I don’t really think about degrees in terms of attractiveness. I prefer to judge what they are doing with it to determine whether we match up. Are they hardworking, talented and resilient? We’ll get on. I have a degree in Illustration and Animation, and a Postgrad Certificate of Education (PGCE) which qualifies me to teach. I’m not a teacher, but if I get fed up down the road of working in the publishing industry (I’m an illustrator) I will likely go for a job as a University Lecturer. My partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 08:23 PM
8

This is so good and thorough, thanks for taking the time to write it out!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 06:54 AM
8

Is that a sourced fact or a hypothesis? There are an increasing number of educated women who are certainly deciding they don’t want children, or, and this is a big one that would have tripped me up if I hadn’t had my son earlier : it’s incredibly hard to take a big fat break right in the moment you’ve just established your career. I cannot imagine having to take a break to do baby stuff now, it would feel like taking a massive step back (depending what you do) but as I’m self employed and the in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 11:22 PM
17

What is the point in allowing discussion if your go to is just to discredit everyone who shares their experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 11:01 PM
6

Yeah absolutely. I love spending time with him, we have a similar sense of humour and interests. He is happier at home generally, has taken career breaks and loved being the home person, was less stressed and then the knock on effect of that is that I was less stressed. His career previously was unsociable hours, it was quite lonely for me when our son was young and husband hated it. Luckily he’s retraining in something he wants to do, so he’s left that career behind. But if I could make enough …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 10:53 PM
9

I apologise if I come across as virtue signalling. I would say there are many women I know with good careers that would happily have their husbands at home (if the husband wanted that) doing his own thing and being a stay at home dad. I think it’s unfair to state as absolute fact that women’s nature is that they simply must be provided for. I know there will be many women who want to be provided for, or want to have a man who earns more at the head of the ship. But don’t imply we all secretly ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 10:47 PM
24

I make more money than my husband. There is literally not one tiny piece of me that hates that my money pays for stuff. If I made enough for him to quit work and do his own projects, I would absolutely love that. Hoping that will happen sometime in the future. I really disagree that is in every woman’s nature and we are just going against our instincts by not wanting to be provided for. I was put on this earth with a talent and I’m thankful every day that I can earn enough from it to give my fam…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 10:35 PM
18

Inferiority of the entire person? This doesn’t make much sense. Most people have stuff they are good at and stuff they aren’t. The best relationships come from partners who compliment each others strengths and weaknesses. I wouldn’t say my husband is inferior to me or superior. He’s better at math, I’m better at art, I earn more, he is better organised than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 06:20 PM
4

I am attracted to talented (but humble) people. Either artists, musicians, writers, or basically anything someone can create from nothing. I’ve never really thought about why except that it kinda shows someone will devote the time to get really good at something, is always learning and growing and searching to become better. That’s where the humble comes in, since there are some people who are talented but arrogant, and they tend to not be always looking to improve but believe they already have …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 03:31 PM
3

Oh wow you went and prepared a whole essay. I just don’t put people into pre-ordained boxes based on their religion/sex/sexuality/gender because I don’t have to. I like to meet people and find out who they are by speaking to them. I think it’s dismissive to say ‘you display XX behaviour so I’m putting you here’ - if you are talking about generally sorting people into certain groups in your brain, like for example saying ‘Scandinavians tend to be tall’ , yes of course everyone does that, but I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 07:59 AM
3

Yep! I had fashion colour for 4 years , it’s exhausting haha! Gone back to brunette now because effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 07:47 AM
3

Well I’ve noticed people don’t tend to fit into boxes very well. It’s all the arms and legs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 07:42 AM
2

Yeah for sure! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 12:01 AM
6

Awww I’d hang out with you too!! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 08:40 PM
9

Well yeah! There are a few level headed people here I have seen though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 07:44 PM
39

I’d happily be friends with anyone who has an open mind and doesn’t lump people into a box based on their class/religion/sex/sexuality :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 07:38 PM
1

No I really don’t care and never did. Unless it’s something I maybe associate with bad/annoying traits like MLM sales or some other thing like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 06:42 PM
4

Ok I’ll bite. But I really detest just smashing a ‘not valuable’ sign onto another person. I’m sure alllll the men here would say I am low value for whatever reason, but to my husband I am probably the highest value woman he has known. See what I mean where I feel uncomfortable saying ‘these kinds of women are trash’ ? But for the sake of this, things I find I don’t tend to like in people: not taking responsibility for your behaviour /lack of accountability if you abuse or neglect your loved one…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 06:06 PM
3

I don’t rate men either. That is a ‘pill based’ phenomena and I don’t subscribe to any particular pills.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 05:50 PM
2

I agree with self improving. I don’t agree with personally assigning other people as valuable or not valuable. Different people will have different strengths and weaknesses that will be liked or disliked in varying degrees by different potential partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 05:27 PM
4

Who am I to ascribe an arbitrary value to someone else? I can say what I value in a partner but that doesn’t make someone who doesn’t hold the traits not valuable. Obviously there are some exceptions that make people generally not good to be around like being unkind and abusive. But usually those kinds of people have their own issues going on other people can’t see. I won’t go around calling them low value.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 05:24 PM
6

This is the answer :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 05:20 PM
0

Applying a value to people is dehumanising and doesn’t help anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:42 PM
1

6 so just below ‘average’.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:35 PM
1

Ahh thank you for clarifying! That’s jogged my memory now :)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:32 PM
1

Ah fair enough, it was a while ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:58 PM
1

Yeah I’ve read it!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:57 PM
15

I would tell them the truth. And wouldn’t change mine if a genie showed up. I’d rather he gave me wild riches and a pirate ship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:30 PM
4

For further reading see : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090 This should honestly be compulsory reading for people once they reach adulthood or start dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:21 PM
5

Female sexuality is not responsive. Responsive sexual desire can be held by either men or women. It’s really only relevant once a couple has begun having sex. Spontaneous desire - has the spontaneous initial thought which makes them seek sex or intimacy. Doesn’t need to be in a sexy scenario, could just be washing dishes or taking out the bin. Responsive desire - responds and becomes aroused in response to sexy things happening around them. Partners who experience responsive desire need a prompt…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:18 PM
7

That’s a great book! Should be read by everyone before they start dating/relationships!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:14 PM
1

Haha perhaps!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:04 PM
1

He is 10, sporty, clever and funny. He’ll be fine, just like his dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 06:58 PM
4

I have very little idea what your sentences even mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 05:52 PM
1

Wow gosh I never knew that! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 05:51 PM
0

Does it matter if he did or didn’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 05:50 PM
1

I have a son and he is excellent and definitely not a loser. I really look forward to seeing what life has to offer him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 04:14 PM
6

I could argue that it’s this defeatist attitude that blocks a great deal of men from having meaningful relationships and going out there and getting actual sexual experiences. But I won’t because today has been stressful. So yeah, carry on with your porn or whatever!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 04:12 PM
5

Like I said , a fair portion not most. And this relies heavily on single respondent qualitative data, since we are talking about reasons for divorces which are going to be all kinds of different reasons within any given populace. This is an article which sums up some theories based on a bunch of other studies about relationship dissatisfaction, depression etc all related to division of household labour: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664 Within that article are furthe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 09:26 AM
5

I think you are thinking about this through a lens of ‘office work turned remote’ but plenty of careers that men partake in successfully have always been done at home. I am an illustrator, my office/studio is in my house because I don’t have a boss. My boss is me. Men have been doing similar jobs from home studios forever. Illustrators, Authors, property developers/landlords, architects, musicians, (they might play outside of home but generally their composing happens at home where they are comf…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:58 AM
9

Most women do notice men as attractive, but seeing a person that looks nice and wanting to have sex with them are two different things. Obviously I don’t speak for all women but I would notice an attractive man like I’d notice an attractive looking painting - I have a look and maybe discretely admire , but have absolutely no desire to have sex with the painting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:46 AM
7

Plenty of men on the ace/demisexual spectrum would disagree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:43 AM
10

A lot of (read a fair portion, not most) qualitative data around that sites reasons such as unfair balance of household labour. Which In a way makes sense for educated women, since they are very likely to be in a good career and from experience from when my husband was unwell its UNBELIEVABLY hard to maintain housework, childcare, and your job with very little help. There are a very high number of burnt out women approaching 40. Burnout leads to resentment. And that’s just a slippery slope to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:35 AM
1

Hmmm, you are right. I didn’t think that through, also it’s unfair for parents to have unrealistic expectations of their kids. Maybe just in this context, people can have what expectations they have for finding a partner, but if they are unrealistic, they will have to adjust them?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:27 AM
4

Yes, dignity sums it up better!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:24 AM
5

Well this is my favourite comment ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:22 AM
11

I feel like everyone in the world wants to meet someone who makes them feel special and like they are worth it. Right? People are also allowed to have whatever expectations they want. If those expectations don’t land them in relationships, they are then free to lower them. We can’t police peoples’ expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:18 AM
9

I think most women would prefer something in between honestly. No-one wants to be in a relationship with a loser, but equally not many women want to be with a ‘winner’ if it means they are compromising emotional stability . Presenting the scenario as an either/or when in reality it’s very likely most people fall somewhere between those things is disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:15 AM
2

Nope. I enjoy a calm and quiet existence these days, so I wouldn’t like to invite someone with strongly opposing views into my life! There are some people here that seem cool though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 08:29 PM
2

Hahahah! I do love an adventure!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 01:18 PM
1

‘ Decent looking with everything in the right place’ would be average looking by RP definition, right? I think that’s what they say about women who are average. Just normal looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:59 PM
2

Nope I think I made that clear when I said everything in the right place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:57 PM
1

Looks are like half important for me. If everything is in the right place, they are generally broad framed, they have nice teeth and are clean we are good. The majority of the rest is absolutely down to who they are as a person. I will take a decent looking guy with a great personality over an amazing looking guy with a boring/not so great personality. What people find attractive in personalities differs. I place a lot of importance on common interest things like music, art, movie and literature…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:29 PM
1

Hadn’t thought about that angle. It would be amazing to see rape and harassment disappear, but sadly I agree that there are certain people that do get off on the effects they cause other people, positive or negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 08:59 AM
1

Ok cool. Looking forward to it x
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:49 PM
1

Lol! I’ll wait with bated breath for my husband to replace me with a Japanese sex robot then.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:40 PM
7

Umm ok. If it will help incels cope with their lives, then why not I guess? If it’s between that and being lonely forever then maybe it makes sense. I imagine the majority of people will still want real relationships though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:51 PM
7

Ah ok it was my understanding from the things I’ve read here that the men think the wall starts after 30 for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 06:32 PM
0

My husband is into reading and writing. Lol. Wow so artificial.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:03 PM
10

I’m so sorry you had to go through all that when you were young. I can really relate to the unwanted touches, I had this constantly too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:01 PM
2

Nice job editing what you said btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:56 PM
5

I haven’t. Like I said, I answered the question below based on what other men and women in my social circle have said. All got back into good relationships with relative ease.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:54 PM
10

She didn’t chime in on that though did she. She replied to that other poster who said we are all bitter by saying the majority of us are actually married or not available. I’m in a LTR myself but I have eyes and ears i can use to pick up whats going on around me. Friends who have been dating in their 30s, male and female. Calm down sir.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:49 PM
1

Yeah I get that and don’t disagree, but the screenshots on there are from real conversations. I have had my own run-ins with ‘niceguys’ , sadly a lot of women have.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:45 PM
6

What point are you trying to make? She hasn’t said anything about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:43 PM
19

My experience has been that single women (friends and family) in their mid 30s have found it relatively easy to dive back into dating and new relationships after a breakup. My experience of men (friends and family) doing the same has been somewhat similar. Nothing extreme to report really. For me personally I’ve been on a LTR since 20 so I can’t comment on dating from my own perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:33 PM
0

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:30 PM
1

Go on the niceguys sub and you’ll see all the proof you need. It’s highly unlikely you are that particular kind of nice guy that gets caricatured.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:27 PM
1

Yeah absolutely! I think that’s the extra melanin at work since people with more melanin take less sun damage overall! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:09 PM
1

If you are talking about female libido, I can’t see where you’ve proved your point with this study. I’m trying to see it but I simply can’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 02:05 PM
2

I can’t see the correlation here for that point since womens cycles continue well into their 40s, whatever role estrous cycle play (if they even do) would be happening throughout the entirety of their fertile years.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 02:04 PM
1

After reading the study - if it were proven true that women do have some kind of estrous cycle , that would mean only a difference in behaviour for literally a few days to a week in the month (when they are about to ovulate and are fertile) how does this have anything to do with age? Women still have a monthly cycle right up until pre menopause in their late 40s. Estrogen doesn’t begin to drop until post 50. So they have relatively the same level of hormone production throughout 20s and 30s, eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 02:01 PM
1

What are the lies they are told?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:51 PM
2

The basic fact is, as a woman in my 30s I now know what a GOOD relationship looks like, whereas when I was 20 I knew I wanted a good relationship but didn’t really know how to make that happen yet/wasn’t sure what I was looking for. This means that if for some reason I found myself single again at 34, I would have a much higher threshold for what I’m looking for, because I have been in really good relationships now and have no interest in inviting projects or people with bad communication habits…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:29 PM
2

Eh? 30+ women are MORE choosy largely because we have figured out our likes dislikes, had a few relationships and noticed which things are total dealbreakers and which things we can generally live with. Also… Humans don’t have estrous cycles.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:20 PM
5

You can compliment anyone for any reason, seeing that someone has nice hair does not equate to sexual attraction. Have you never complimented someone you aren’t attracted to? Like your mother/sisters/an older relative or a male friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:26 AM
10

Breast size has absolutely nothing to do with breastfeeding adequacy and never has done.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 04:00 PM
8

Just want to chime in on the ageing thing! While it’s true men have thicker skin and more collagen, what isn’t so obvious is that those things actually make them more prone to sun damage and the effects of that are that far more men get melanoma and also that their skin actually ages more prematurely. While women tend to wear sunscreen on their face , many men don’t tend to (not all) and a lot aren’t engaging in good skincare routines from a young age. So the ageing thing is actually thrown off …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 02:22 PM
5

Yesterday he made a Christmas spreadsheet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 01:59 PM
1

Just read it. Highest percentage is 33-% of partners being within 2 years of eachother age wise. That means either way, man slightly older and woman slightly older, I’m not talking about giant age gaps here. You said women don’t date younger. The only real difference is between the 10+ year age gaps, and even then it’s within a few percent. Going by your own definition of ‘rare’ , it then must be ‘rare’ for women to be dating men who are +10 years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 11:50 AM
1

Ok so my stats say 15, yours say 10. Even One in every ten relationships, doesn’t sound rare to me. Less likely yes, not rare. You said ALL GIRLS date older. False.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 11:37 AM
1

I don’t think women dating younger is as rare as you think. I am older than mine, I have friends and several family members who have younger husbands. 15% according to surveys, so 15 out of every hundred relationships. Rare would be something more like 1 in 1000 so 0.1%
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 11:12 AM
2

I think they are American. Europeans mostly don’t get so hung up on these things. There’s a nudist beach about 4 miles down the road from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:55 AM
5

No. I don’t have sexual attraction with men who don’t have good personalities who I would want to be in a relationship with. It just doesn’t exist for me. They could look like a perfect human but unless the personality is there I have no interest. I have literally zero celebrity crushes for this reason. There are people I think are good looking, but that’s not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:48 AM
3

Literally just go for coffee for a first date. It’s less formal and generally makes more sense since you can cut it short or it can go on for longer if you want it to. It’s cheaper. A lot of people in Europe do this. Going out for a whole meal with someone you’ve never met is daunting and formal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:02 AM
2

Ok thanks! My initial thoughts About any study involving casual sex and divorce rates are that whilst you can study the correlation, you are left with basically only being able to hypothesise about the reasons for the correlation. Most scientists are in fact only making ‘best guesses’ when it comes to finding a correlation between point A and point B unless they are much more closely related (such as ‘if a person drinks more water, will they urinate More’ . The question ‘if a person has more cas…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:53 AM
6

Would I do any of those things for a female friend if I could? Yes. I don’t understand the post. That’s not ‘boyfriend’ stuff. That’s being a helpful person stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:30 AM
1

Can you offer a source for the claim that casual sex affects a woman’s ability to pair bond? I’ve never heard that before, and it sounds false honestly. I can’t answer the initial question, since I have never been a part of hookup culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:22 AM
3

Yes. Absolutely. Actually if my first love approached me today and I’d never met him before I’d be very unlikely to be interested in him. He was quite below average intelligence, I was 15 when I met him and he was a cool and fun person but not very bright. I was heartbroken when we broke up when I was 16 but I got over him completely within around a year or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:51 AM
2

That’s a great idea and a lovely way to look at it. Very diplomatic and kind!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:48 AM
2

Ah ok thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:35 PM
2

What is a THOT?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:29 PM
3

How do you know that? Is there a breakdown of who voted for what?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:29 PM
1

I feel like that would be super awkward because you’d have to look at the ‘friend’ before deciding and then it would be uncomfortable for both of you if you had to decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:17 PM
1

Ok yeah that’s possibly, maybe better? or at least makes them sounds a bit older/more mature. I would still be utterly mortified if a friend went up to a man on my behalf though. But maybe they were particularly anxious or shy I don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:13 PM
9

Wow! So are these 30+ women saying ‘my friend fancies you’ or are they younger?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 05:06 PM
5

I am imagining quite young ? I haven’t heard “my friend fancies you’ since I was about 16.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 04:56 PM
1

Yeah I’d agree with this. Sometimes you get a real sense that you might be kindred spirits very soon after meeting someone. I am straight but I have had this a few times when I have met women who I just immediately have a good rapport with, so it’s not necessarily sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 02:46 PM
1

Definitely seems to be US centric. Over here in Europe it’s pretty rare to find someone who hasn’t had a peep around other countries. We have more paid time off our jobs annually, we can travel to like 10 different countries just by getting in the car with our friends and driving.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 08:25 AM
2

Haha I was over exaggerating a little. I’m generally a friendly person. I do definitely think there’s something in being more reserved and sizing a man up, they either rise to the occasion and are interested or they are scared. I’m not much of a typical flirt at all, and I haven’t been on the market for 14 years so I couldn’t attest to whether something like this would work these days. A similar approach did used to work for me, because I always hated the idea of ‘fawning’ over a man in a tradit…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 07:36 AM
7

No, I really can’t think of a time anyone I know has entered a relationship with someone who cold approached them anyway. Most people were friends or acquaintances first!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 11:22 PM
10

I have pursued men before but the difference is I already knew them/had a friendship with them first . In that context I am happy to be the initiator. I would never do that to someone I’ve never met. But also, I wouldn’t want anyone I don’t know to approach me either. I suspect I’m a bit different to others though, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I simply can’t ‘like’ someone I’ve just met. I can count on my fingers the number of men I’ve been sexually attracted to in my life, and none …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 09:04 PM
1

Yes I said Angelina too, she’s a perfect example!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 07:48 PM
1

Angelina Jolie has masculine features and she’s definitely someone considered attractive. So I reckon yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 07:46 PM
5

I prefer the praying mantis approach. No hair twirling or giggling. Stare at them with a mixture of anger and disdain, like you are going to eat them alive. They will either be terrified, confused or strangely aroused.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 04:26 PM
7

So a slightly less dead corpse then.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 03:56 PM
5

Westworld for thirsty incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 02:55 PM
9

If whatever is created has a consciousness you won’t be able to do it legally. Dude. Westworld.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 02:54 PM
20

I can only assume these grown human adults will be for all intents and purposes , humans. So ethically, they’ll have human rights. You can’t just enslave genetically engineered women to men. I can’t even believe this is a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 02:21 PM
4

Yep! Sorry I meant the studies overwhelmingly point to men having the majority affairs (as in most of the studies) not that the percentage is overwhelmingly more than women! Sorry, my wording there was about as clear as mud :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 10:41 PM
10

Men being more likely by 10-20% to cheat doesn’t make all men or all women this or that or the other. Absolutes are stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 10:12 PM
11

Just can’t be arsed with this weird world view. Blah move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 10:09 PM
14

Pardon me, I’ve decided I won’t be taking hot takes from eternal virgins today after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 10:05 PM
30

Statistics most overwhelmingly point to men being the less faithful sex. Seeing as how a bunch of the men here say men will move on to someone younger/hotter once a lady has hit the wall, I’ll take them at their word.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 08:37 PM
1

Yeah we have discussed eloping and have both decided if we did get married we’d do it like that for sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 08:13 PM
5

True. Not overly fussed either way. Maybe one day.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 07:52 PM
8

I don’t really. I guess it would be nice from just a ‘officially a wife/husband’ standpoint but the thought of having to arrange a whole ass wedding brings me out in cold sweats.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 06:29 PM
1

Doing intensive hours on projects is enough I don’t need a work stressed partner on top. As Caetraaa above said, I would rather have a peaceful house to relax in than a stressful work obsessed people zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 04:35 PM
1

I’m also completely ok with earning the money. Money means incredibly little to me other than the general of life’s comforts, which I earn enough for regardless. I don’t think it’s as rare in women as you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 04:32 PM
5

I need no incentive other than that I enjoy my partner’s company and we are a family. I get to spend my time with my best friend. I can only see a person wanting to move on if they’re unhappy and not getting their needs met.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:36 AM
3

50/50 is vital in a household with 2 partners working and child(ren) to look after. We tend to just divvy tasks up as and when needed and have frequent check ins with eachother to make sure we are both feeling seen enough and to avoid any resentments building from one person taking on too much. This requires lots of open and ongoing communication, and knowing what each of our strengths are so we’re efficient. Neither of us are in charge, we simply lead when whatever the task os happens to be eit…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:29 AM
27

Stop facting with all these facts, you’ll give all the gentlemen hernias.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 07:39 PM
11

Yeah that’s what I took from it too. Made a good point then just reverted back to blaming women again.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 07:20 PM
2

This is…just..bizarre. I can’t even. Not today. Gosh some of you guys are exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 05:45 PM
1

Haha yes!! I got all that out of my system and by the time I could ‘legally’ go to nightclubs at 18 I was already bored of them so hardly went. I think there’s something to be said for getting all that stuff out of your system a few years earlier so when you’re at uni you can actually concentrate on friendship, relationships, and your degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 04:24 PM
1

We’ve been together 14 years now - first met him when I was 20 and he was 18 (he’s 18 months younger than me) and we have a 10 year old son. I would say it’s been successful. I come here because I have a morbid curiosity about people that think things completely opposite to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 04:20 PM
2

I think I’d agree with this. In the UK all the activities I did as a teen were very mixed. We mixed with friends brothers and their friends and everyone got to know each other. Things like team games and sport, heading to the beach, going to gigs and music venues, I think that seems to be very common here. The only exception I see is the unfortunate uptick in boys that stay in their rooms a lot on their PC. They are by default missing out on that entire experience and all the opportunities for m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 08:16 AM
2

Yes I get that but as a springboard for someone who otherwise doesn’t know how to ask about how they can make a person feel better, it’s a decent enough list that covers enough different forms of intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 07:31 AM
2

Yeah I’m aware of that hence why I said grain of salt but there’s nothing lost in learning what people need/like to feel loved in a relationship and it provides a decent enough talking point for people who don’t know where to begin. You literally don’t have to take any religious elements from it, not that I can see any. I’m an atheist and so is my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:07 AM
1

They are great! My husband is good friends with a vicar who actually gives a copy of the book to all the couples he marries.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 09:10 PM
2

Also it’s just a really nice ice breaker early on in a relationship to have a chat about the stuff that makes you feel good.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:59 PM
8

Find out their love language. Sounds a bit pop psychology-ish so take it with a grain of salt, but honestly, knowing HOW someone feels loved is so important and if you are both on the right page to start with that’s never a bad thing. Not everyone has just one, I have two and a lot of people have combinations. But that doesn’t really matter because the important thing is that you are having a conversation about the things that are important to you in a relationship. Can’t remember everything off…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:56 PM
2

Hahah yes!! I’m over here eating pizza for breakfast and you’re over there buying cars and going on skiing getaways.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:17 PM
2

Perhaps I am, yes. Just noting my observations but you are right these people tend to find their partners in their 20s and grow their careers together.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:15 PM
2

Thanks! Netflix is treating me well!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:13 PM
2

Yeah that was always my thought process. Why u still single mister?! Honestly when I was 20, 30 was ANCIENT to me. Obviously now I’m 34 I don’t feel ancient but I can understand why it feels that way to a 20 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:10 PM
2

I don’t disagree that there are some wealthy older men that have younger women but it’s definitely not standard. I grew up in private school education, so you can imagine there have been plenty of wealthy (yes millionaires) people around me in my life. I can tell you that I honestly can’t think of an example where a fit older wealthy man has a young 20something girlfriend or wife. Mostly they go with people in their career/social circle. Even when they have affairs. And affairs happen a lot. I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:04 PM
1

Oooops *adulthood
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:54 PM
1

Awww thanks x
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:52 PM
2

Husband is younger than me anyway, (only by about 18 months) and that works for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:51 PM
2

Yeah I’m not saying it would NEVER happen if someone absolutely perfect came along I guess, but dating out of my rough age range is just not something I’ve ever considered to be anything I wanted or needed to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:48 PM
7

Yeah, I think everyone should go into adult with the ability to look after themselves. Not to mention life skills incompetence is wildly unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:44 PM
2

I don’t think I ever considered an older man. For me maybe 4 years older absolute maximum. And that’s stayed pretty constant, I think the oldest (if I were single) I’d go now is 38.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:28 PM
1

Oh I see. Yes that makes sense. That’s horrible that scammers would target people like that!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 06:16 PM
1

Haha risk at my work is none. I basically work with a tea cup and Netflix for company.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 05:51 PM
2

I honestly cannot fathom how anyone falls for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 05:48 PM
15

I agree! It isn’t something I’d say a LOT of people do but there’s Nothing worse than someone who can’t look after themselves so they just hop straight from one relationship to the other out of desperation and needing someone to look after them. I’ve seen this happen with a few of the older generation dads of my friends (50+) always having to find a new wife quickly because they never learned to cook or be really independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 04:26 PM
4

Ah I guess there’s definitely a possibility that could happen, definitely a shame. But we shouldn’t deny them their own agency. My husband is autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 03:05 PM
1

This! Take my upvote!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 02:50 PM
3

Super thanks! Does seem to be based on IQ
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:44 AM
2

It’s interesting as an illustrator. I have drawn maybe over 1000 people over my career - hands down I prefer to look at and draw a slightly more unusual face, it’s what I am drawn to. Many attractive people could be described as having ‘blank slate’ faces. Everything is in the right place but nothing really stands out to give them character. So I would say I am less attracted towards blank slate faces which are probably deemed generally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:28 AM
2

Some things are, like ‘everything being in the right place’ is relatively objective. I think then it comes down to the finer points though attractiveness is very subjective. Not everyone finds the same home decor attractive, but most people can agree on whether a home has been decorated to a good standard or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:24 AM
4

Is that stat based on IQ?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:21 AM
2

Yeah. I understood. I was being facetious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 10:49 AM
4

Haha I read that as ‘redpillian brain’ for some reason. It checks out to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 09:00 AM
2

Yeah I would agree that chemistry and stuff in common far outweighs looks. I mostly said what I said to offer an opposing point the the above commenter. It’s not always about looks for many people. Honestly I was very young when the above situation happened and I can’t really remember the specifics of it, just that I was super heartbroken! Such is life :)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:56 AM
2

I think the ideal dynamic is flexible. We each take roles based on our own individual strengths. If we stuck to hard and fast gender roles all of the time, stuff would take longer and be more annoying or not as good. For example: husband is better at cooking, and more efficient. I struggle to multitask with lots of food stuff happening at once. I have burned many many expensive pieces of meat because I ‘forget’ it’s there while I’m prepping something else. I’m not a bad cook by any means, but I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:40 AM
0

Hahaha! There are a million possible reasons, You never know!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:33 AM
14

Why shouldn’t neurodiverse people be dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:31 AM
5

Gosh this just feels far too insecure. Give your partner the freedom of choice. If they are going to cheat they will cheat, irrespective of any rules. Let them show you who they are, make it absolutely easy for them to cheat if they want to. Then you can make your choice to leave quicker if they do and waste less of your own time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:28 AM
3

One of my exes dumped me for a clear downgrade. That was interesting!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:08 AM
10

Yes this is definitely fairly normal friend behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 09:48 PM
–

My partner is my best friend and I love his soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 08:41 PM
5

I thought the whole ‘nice guy’ thing is those who immediately shift as soon as they know they aren’t getting any from polite/kind into total arseholes. Like saying ‘you fat bitch I didn’t want you anyway’ That’s not getting to know someone with the hope of maybe something more, that’s just pretending to be nice in order to get sex then flipping the tables the moment it’s denied like you were never taught good sportsmanship by your parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 03:59 PM
6

Yeah. It was a while ago I read them now but I remember visibly cringing on more than one occasion. Pretty sure Triss’ inner monologue mentions her waist circumference one too many times which is just a bit surface level ‘this is what women worry about’ but actually really gives us nothing about her character so it feels lazy. The women just feel a tad 2 dimensional, was what I took away from reading it. But I still liked the books.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 12:28 PM
17

Yeah! Women tend to write romance in a more emotional and ‘female gaze’ way. It’ll be a hand movement or a gesture, that builds tension between two characters. That’s what is exciting. I absolutely love The Witcher novels by Andrzej Sapkowski but they suffer in the same way, the female characters are written in such a cringy, catty way and they are always mentioning their waist circumference. It just detracts from the immersion for me. Like we get it, women and their weight eye roll. Still love …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 09:47 AM
21

Book boyfriends don’t necessarily come from romance novels. I can think of a few of those types off the top of my head from fantasy novels, historical fictions and things like that. It’s also a joke, not to be taken too seriously. A lot of female authors tend to write both male and female characters in a way that I prefer, personally. Even one of my favourites, Neil Gaiman isn’t brilliant at writing female characters. But I will forgive him because he is a genius.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 09:35 AM
1

Yeah I agree! Less population overall isn’t a bad thing but it can never be even, so you’d be putting more power into other countries hands. Some people will have issues with what that means for different countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 04:28 AM
1

That is true, yeah. It’s not simple
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 04:26 AM
1

Latest data suggests they have closed the gap in some countries (US) but not drinking more than make counterparts. This is recent though in the last 3/4 years, those peoples skin won’t be paying the price yet. Alcohol, smoking aside though. Mens base higher level of collagen actually makes sun damage worse. Ageing is far more likely to show up in men earlier than women in the form of wrinkles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 01:12 AM
1

Do you know a lot of old dudes with money in real life? Are we talking normal wealth or mega riches?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 12:44 AM
0

Yea but overpopulation means collapse of the globe. One is fixable, the other not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 12:42 AM
0

Relationships take work, yes. But what you describe sounds hard. I don’t think it should be like that at all. Is this your personal experience? I think you’ve married someone who doesn’t improve your life. Your partner should always add to and improve your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 12:34 AM
2

Yup absolutely! It’s a misconception that men age slower because those don’t take into account that women tend to have far less sun damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 12:17 AM
2

Well the whole collagen thing that is spouted here often is a bit of a misinterpreted myth. Womens collagen only drops off significantly post menopause so roughly age 50+ (depends on the woman but most womens menopause starts late 40s) Before that womens collagen actually drops at a lower rate than mens. Mens collagen drops off a steady pace throughout his life, womens a slower pace which speeds up past 50 years old and then overtakes men at that point. Men do have more collagen in their skin an…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:59 PM
4

I always found men tend to wrinkle quicker. Wear sunscreen folks!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:30 PM
3

How come?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:05 PM
0

I don’t think depopulation is a bad thing really. The world is overpopulated as it is currently which is unsustainable in the long run. More and more people choosing to have 1 or no children is really not a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:01 PM
1

But why should all that outside stuff matter if the focus is meant to be on self improvement?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 07:05 PM
0

Is it just me or is ‘dating’ quite a modern thing anyway? I’m sure people didn’t really ‘date’ when I was a teen/early 20s, they just met socially through friends or online. I feel like it’s something that’s filtered over from the US somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 06:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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