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BlackSun56 Archive

View 1 post and 70 comments by BlackSun56 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Wow. Tell us how a self ordained alpha male really thinks!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:43 PM
14

Only financially. I realize now that I’m happier not having to deal with her perpetually selfish ways. Much happier in my new relationship as well.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 10:04 AM
7

Well first of all, maybe focus on hygiene if it’s possible she has any sort of point? Sorry, that may have been brutal, but if you’re gross…. I get it. Tell her you’ll make an effort, but you need to have a heart to heart and if you do think it’s going the way of divorce then lawyer up first.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:06 PM
5

Get a good lawyer and do your best to slow the pace down on Thursday so you aren’t reeling from the punch in the throat you just got. She’s been planning this for a LONG time. She has a plan, and an attorney. Slow it down, regroup, and put a plan together so you’re not punching off your back foot.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:00 AM
9

Dude, everyone has their breaking point. I’m sorry you’re so depressed and having such a hard time. At some point the people that have been there for you (and have done their best to help you) need to pull the rip cord to protect themselves from the hurt you do to yourself, and consequently to them. Focus on you and getting better. Once you’re better you can reevaluate your relationship, or at least what’s left of it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:19 AM
22

I got so screwed in my divorce. I’ve never met a more financially irresponsible person in my life. When I met her in 2006 she was about to go underwater and have a teaser rate expire on the two sub prime mortgages she had on her tiny condo that she put zero money down on… her payment was about to go from 800 a month to 2700 a month. Before we were even engaged I bailed her out at the bell getting it sold without a realtor and put some of my own money in to cover the closing. Then I bought her a …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:45 PM
3

It works if you’re on the same page and equally contribute. If you marry a lying manipulative selfish bitch, it doesn’t work at all.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:17 PM
1

Meaning don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve. Be your true self. A lot of dudes feel the need to “bring the game” and have all these pickup lines at the ready. Just be honest. Be yourself. You don’t have to over share about the deepest parts of your soul in the first conversation… but just be you. And be comfortable with the fact that some people will have interest in who you really are, and some won’t. But all of them will appreciate meeting the real you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 12:33 AM
1

Just let it happen naturally. It’s not a performance. You don’t have to be Brad Pitt falling in love with Claire Forlani in Meet Joe Black…. It’s a conversation in passing and then some subtle glances, and then maybe a question followed by another conversation. They’re just people…. Be confident. Be vulnerable. Be okay with getting let down. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. That’s how you learn. That’s what makes it fun! It’s not just swiping on your iPhone hoping she thinks you’re cute eno…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 12:07 AM
1

That’s great man. Keep at it!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:13 PM
2

It will get easier. Don’t force it. The law of attraction is a real thing. Manifest it. Be confident but not an ego maniac. There’s a girl out there that’s looking for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:53 PM
1

I’ll be 45 in November. She just turned 39. We’ve been together almost three years. I met her in a Starbucks. I passed her the sugar and made a joke. Turned out we were working on our laptops at adjoining tables. We talked and flirted for a few hours. I asked her if she would like to have dinner with me. Took her out later that week. That was almost three years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:52 PM
3

I’m sorry man. It gets easier. You’ve held onto the feelings of wanting to save it longer than I did. I was on the dating apps about six weeks after she threw me out of the house via restraining order (total bullshit). In hindsight that was probably too fast… but I ended up finding g an amazing girl so no harm no foul. Look, she’s made up her mind. She’s going to try and keep her hooks in you for as long as she can… but don’t let her. She cheated. She left. She ended it. Get through this as fast…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 08:09 PM
12

Looking back, she liked the idea of marriage, just not marriage to me. The sex was rough at first but got better as she warmed up in the relationship. I think I taught her a lot… she had only been with a few people before me. She loved what we (I) provided to the marriage, house, cars, material things. When things got hard during Covid she bolted. Ruined me financially. Oh well. I got three amazing kids out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:49 PM
5

Strike first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:34 PM
4

I did not. But maybe you think the divorce was your fault??? And maybe it’s just a fear of you being judged/left again? Go to therapy man. It helps. You have to puke all that stuff out. There’s no shame in it. You will feel better, I promise.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 12:06 PM
5

Same here!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:08 PM
15

Dude… she will get hers…. TRUST ME. Karma is a real thing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:08 PM
5

Boom. There it is. But at least you know now. We all do. They’re cold blooded, boys…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:55 AM
2

Where’s the like button in this thing?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 12:16 AM
1

12 years and she’s pinning it on her first divorce??? Your situation sucks, but… c’mon man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:19 PM
0

iPhones, social media and online dating has destroyed dating and relationships in general. People are addicted to their computers and phones and not experiencing life. Everything is skin deep and shallow these days. The best thing that could happen is for him to find a real life woman that he can have an actual physical relationship with. And if he doesn’t, pony up the dough and insist they have a lawyer draw up and have them sign a prenuptial agreement. They can both decide what they keep and w…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 04:01 PM
7

First round I cheaped out and paid a lawyer 250 an hour due to a family recommendation…. She sucked. I’m now back into it paying the best lawyer in the city 575 an hour… and this just to adjust child support. My ex wife is the worst human I know.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 04:08 PM
12

You are supposed to feel the sadness. Let it happen, it’s healthy. It does get better.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 01:21 AM
9

This part is always hard man. For me, it wasn’t her being with another guy, it was my kids being exposed to another guy that I had zero control over. That’s why I tried to get a “6 months of dating someone before the kids are introduced” into the separation agreement, which was laughed at and not agreed to. I was blindsided with divorce papers by my ex, and started dating very quickly, like within a few weeks (honestly it was kind of a “fuck you” to my ex), but I ended up meeting someone really …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 08:15 PM
0

Isn’t the point of dating to catch feelings? You’re dating people to meet, learn about, find companionship, and eventually end up in a relationship? It sounds to me like you just want meaningless sex. And if that’s what you really want, then say just that. Tinder is your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:04 PM
3

Seek therapy, work out, get that anger and frustration out in some way. It’s normal to be angry when you feel betrayed. It’s probably even normal for your brain to wonder to a place seeking revenge or retribution. It’s not normal to cross the line from thought to action. This does get better, and it will fade, but that doesn’t happen until you are clear of her completely, you’ve worked on yourself and you begin to realize how miserable you were when you were together with your ex. Life is libera…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 06:09 PM
1

I went to court and used my record as evidence for deserving 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 05:10 PM
3

She lied when she served me papers. She made me out to be a viscous alcoholic. Total fallacy. The court ordered me to undergo random drug and alcohol piss testing, and I never missed a test and went above and beyond… I had a hair follicle test done which proved 6+ months of total sobriety. When we had a hearing to throw out the testing and to undo the supervised parenting time restriction, my ex and her attorney didn’t even show up, so it went uncontested. It took the judge about 7 seconds to th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 04:01 PM
3

It’s the worst man. All the Dads that love their kids feel this…. It’s the worst part. My ex blindsided me, threw me out on restraining order with ZERO notice, never even mentioned a divorce. I had 8 months of court supervised visitation for a total of 6 hours per week. Now I have them 50/50, I’m with a girl I truly love, and the time we have with my kids is great, but our time alone is also nice. You still miss them when they’re not with you, but at least you have you time. It gets easier. But …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 06:24 PM
0

“Don’t ever go against the family…..”. Did a lot of people ask her father for favors on your wedding day? Do a lot of people call him “Don”?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 02:52 AM
6

Hers came off immediately after serving me. I wore mine for maybe two or three weeks before realizing it was unsalvageable and focused on putting my energy into the lawyers and therapists.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:15 PM
1

Document everything. The lies. The correspondence. And get it all to a really good lawyer. The best defense is a good offense.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 11:34 PM
2

I pay $858 per WEEK for my three kids. Plus a significant portion of my bonus if I get one. I got laid off after my divorce closed and am making 22% less in my salary. I asked her to change it amicably, and she hit the roof, so I’m back in the legalese. Propose that you pay what you owe according to the law, and if she balks, you have to pay the money to adjust it officially. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 04:53 PM
8

Hang in there dude. Keep the lines of communication open with your kids (uncertain of their ages, mine had cell phones), and be transparent and honest with yourself and others. You’ll be okay.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 06:41 PM
10

“Quickest and most painless” hahahaha. Rookie alert! Everyone here is in therapy and almost bankrupt. Who wants to tell him??!!!???😂🤣
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 04:29 PM
30

Have hot sex routinely.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 03:56 PM
3

I did the same shit. Couldn’t BELIEVE she would do this. I don’t think she was cheating, but she was just done with me. She took 250k in equity, 270k of my 401k, spent the savings, handed me 14k in credit card debt, and I hadn’t paid for my lawyer yet. She also had me on court supervised visitation with my kids for 8 hours a week for 6 months…. With no cause except she said she was afraid for her life… zero history. You just have to go forward dude. I can’t give you a potion that makes you feel …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 10:12 PM
13

You’re in the thick of it man. It will get better. Also, keep in mind that you’re supposed to be devastated. These feelings you’re having are totally normal. Her disgusting rebuttal of her vows and her treatment of you after being married is what doesn’t make sense. Focus on you. Stay sober. Work out. Be around friends. Focus on work. Go to therapy. You’ll be okay. Clearly she’s not a good person. Move on and take your life back. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 07:36 PM
12

Wife. Total blindside. Zero discussion. Intimate on a Thursday night. Friday visit by the sheriff. Diabolical.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:24 PM
2

I didn’t, but she sold it and bought a new car with the money.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:52 PM
7

I’m actually wishing everyday that she changes it back to her maiden name. She doesn’t deserve to use my last name. My kids and I will proudly wear my name. Eff her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 12:22 AM
3

That was amazing. Well done!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 08:16 PM
2

Dude… get a lawyer. Trust me. You don’t have to tell her, but you don’t want to have hers jump out at you and then you’re punching off your back foot. Trust me. Get your shit together, and if you don’t need it great, but have it ready. You can thank me later.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:43 PM
2

It took a solid two years for me before you don’t think of it constantly. Year three you start to move on. Just stay busy. Pay the lawyers and let them deal with it. Get a therapist and like everything out. Go to the gym. Enjoy yourself. Read. Explore. It will turn around. Trust me. Just focus on you and keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:51 PM
6

Same thing here. My ex made up a narrative that I was an alcoholic. I was definitely drinking too much during covid, but an alcoholic was too much. I had also hosted them for countless parties, my SiL lived with us for almost a year, we had countless vacations with them. The betrayal from them was incredible. They plotted and planned the assassination (because that’s what it was…) and lied to my side of the family about it, both denying that they knew and withholding the truth when asked directl…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 05:44 PM
7

It will get better man. You’re super hurt and upside down right now. And that’s okay. You’re supposed to feel that way. I’ve been there. It sucks. It takes time to heal. Focus on you and what you can control. Work. The gym. Therapy. Longstanding good friends. Date when you’re ready but DO NOT rush into anything. Just breathe. You will come back from this. You will be you again. You will never be fully rid of this, you were cut deep, and there will always be a scar. But you will be stronger. And …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 04:06 PM
7

It gets easier man. I went from “I’ll always love her as she’s the mother of my three kids” to “FUCK HER she’s a lying cheating stealing manipulating selfish bitch and may God have mercy on the next guys life she completely destroys”. It just takes time. Focus on you. Hit the gym. Read books. Date when you’re ready. See that therapist. Do the work. In time you’ll realize that you are actually better off without her, and that maybe she actually wasn’t your best friend for all those years, it was …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 02:47 PM
2

It’s just nice to have a consistent schedule, no matter what day it is. And breaking the weekdays up mon/tues and wed/thur allows for longer time together when it’s your weekend. I like it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:50 AM
1

I have every Wednesday and Thursday and every other Friday, Saturday Sunday. So out of 14 days, I have them 7.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:41 PM
9

You’re thinking waaay too much… Which is easy to do as you exit the divorce process. You’re still hurt. It’s normal. It took me over two years to feel normal again. If she makes you happy, you think she’s beautiful, she’s successful and has mutual respect and attraction for you, I would go for it, especially if she’s okay with not meeting your kids for a little while. My girlfriend didn’t meet my kids for the first 9 months of us dating… and that was intentionally done by me. Now my kids are hea…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 03:20 AM
6

She sounds pretty shallow and vindictive. She sounds a lot like my ex, actually. What helped me is realizing how immature she is. She lives her life for the NOW. She is totally incapable of planning for the real future, whether that be in relationships, budgeting, saving for bigger purchases or adventures. She wants everything RIGHT NOW. In that way, she’s a lot like my kids. After she was gone I realized that I actually had four kids, her and the three we had together. After realizing this, it …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 07:18 PM
5

Stop worrying about feeling hurt, don’t run from it, and just allow yourself to accept it. You’re supposed to be hurt. It’s a normal reaction to being on the receiving end of behavior like that after you both said your vows….. That’s a really fucked up thing she did to you, and that body builder dude is just as empty as her. Fuck them!!! I would focus on you first… use your newfound spare time to accomplish things you have always wanted to do, like learn new skills, train for something, or trave…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 06:12 PM
9

Half of all hard assets, 80% of savings, plus legal fees. Then 29% of my gross income, paid out on a net basis.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 11:53 PM
1

The bend over backwards for you move is always so dang good!! 😂🤣🤪
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:36 PM
6

I had a really hard time out of the gate. Mine was a blindside. We were intimate the night before and then she had me served by the sheriff the following day. Forced me out of the house by restraining order. It was so head spinning that I would write her long texts asking why, telling her I loved her and the kids and that I was willing to fight to change it. Her mind had been made up. There was no coming back from it. It’s normal to worry about her next relationship in the early stages. You are …
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:26 PM
13

They almost always regret it because the grass is not greener, but you will regret it if you don’t let her go because this scene of the marriage will always play on repeat in your head. Let her go. Break contact. Get your lawyer in place to protect yourself, and then let her make the decision to end the marriage. It will suck, but you will come back from this, and like I said, living your best life will make her realize that she’s the one that made the mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:54 PM
5

I tell myself I’m still living and breathing and I’m here to see my kids everyday. You can only go forward. Looking back does nothing for you. It sucks to accept it, but it’s over and you have to move on to find what awaits you. Things will get better, I promise. Just focus on getting all of this done as soon as possible. Once the daily legalese is done, it gets easier to see the other side. It took me a solid two full years from the closing to feel like it was actually over, but I still don’t f…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 06:48 PM
1

Well, over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and in divorces filed around 80% or so are filed by the wife. So, the chips are stacked.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 10:53 PM
3

I’m sorry man. That’s about all I can say at this point. Sounds like you should lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:27 PM
1

Thanks man.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:11 PM
1

I hear you. The problem is, to this point I have no losses to cut. She’s been nothing but additive to my life, and the life of my kids. I’m retroactively disgusted by her past behavior, but for the past three years I have only been in love with her, and she has not shown any signs of cheating, we’ve talked marriage, she’s agreed to sign a prenup that includes an infidelity clause… I dunno.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 09:24 PM
1

I was served papers in 2021, final in 2022. I was blessed to be able to lock my rate the morning Putin invaded Ukraine. I don’t know how people do it these days…. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:00 PM
1

No difference.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:59 PM
2

If your names are both on the loan you’ll have to refinance unless your mortgage is transferable to a new owner aka, her. The deed is easier, you just sign the quitclaim.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:29 PM
1

Yeah. I hear you and you’re right. I always knew her number would be higher than mine. If she had dropped a 3x number on me, so 40-50 guys in the 20 years from 17 to 37 years old… I would have been prepared and actually okay with it. I knew she “dated” a lot of guys as she had never been married and never had kids, and she’s a stunner, so I was fully prepared for that. But close to 10x was like…. “What the actual fuck? WHY would you treat yourself with that amount of disrespect?” Surely after 10…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:11 PM
1

Yeah it seems like people are either one extreme or the other. On one side people say her behavior is totally fine because she was never married so fuck whoever you want… on the other side people say 118 guys is like 4 full MLB teams and halfway through another so that’s gross and excessive, have some self respect. What are you saying is embarrassing about my number, that it’s so low, or that I’m justifying it as “more reasonable”, or that I care at all about anyone’s number?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 02:34 PM
3

I think that’s the way it’s going to have to be. I’m very torn here. I really really do love her, a lot, and so do my kids, and like I said, if I never knew this I would be confident that she is a great partner and I would have zero problem marrying her with a prenup (prenup is mandatory for me after divorce regardless) but I’m really feeling like I’ve been cheated on even though this all happened before she ever knew me. I know that’s ridiculous to say, but that’s the way it feels. It’s like I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:37 PM
3

Jeez I didn’t even think about pics and videos. I’ve glanced at her phone… notes app, files and email, texts, pics… nothing jumps out. The wild thing is, after my divorce (which was viscous) I thought I hit the lottery. This girl stepped in, loved me, supported me and my kids, and is beautiful and kind and confident and successful. I was like “eff my ex, I feel super confident that I could land such a prize out of the gate!”, and now this comes up and it’s like, “wait a minute… what’s going on u…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:42 PM
3

Thanks man. Honestly if she dropped a 3x multiplier on me… 45 guys, and I was married and faithful for 15 years… honestly that seems “relatively” reasonable. But almost a 10x multiplier. That was just crushing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:54 AM
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