TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

BlindPelican Archive

View 15 posts and 1,509 comments by BlindPelican on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
243

BlindPelican/r/MensRights12/07/14 06:41 PM
34

BlindPelican/r/MensRights14/02/14 09:23 PM
33

BlindPelican/r/MensRights08/03/14 08:19 PM
30

DiscussionBlindPelican/r/MensRights25/07/14 10:34 PM
16

BlindPelican/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:05 PM
14

BlindPelican/r/MensRights27/01/14 10:05 PM
13

BlindPelican/r/MensRights23/01/14 08:56 PM
13

DiscussionBlindPelican/r/MensRights30/05/14 07:35 PM
12

BlindPelican/r/MensRights20/02/14 06:29 PM
9

BlindPelican/r/MensRights14/07/14 04:01 PM
9

BlindPelican/r/MensRights18/02/14 12:18 AM
9

AnalysisBlindPelican/r/MensRights13/07/14 12:40 AM
5

BlindPelican/r/MensRights05/04/14 08:34 PM
4

BlindPelican/r/MensRights19/03/14 05:32 PM
1

BlindPelican/r/MensRights09/03/14 12:43 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,509 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

A couple of thoughts here... Did the custody decree stipulate conditions where apologies were necessary or ordered? I suspect not. I also suspect that whatever extra money she wants has to be adjusted by the courts since how much you pay is already in the agreement, yes? Consequently, it's obvious why the court would be interested in one and not the other. Isn't he your son as well? Pronouns tend to display attitudes. "Our" son suggests a bit more connection to the mother. "My" son suggests a co…
/r/MensRights15/02/16 07:43 PM
2

I'd be very interested in seeing what you've posted. Could you be so kind as to provide a link? Thank you!
/r/MensRights08/02/16 06:46 PM
1

Let's not forget her her limited and entirely unremarkable record in public service.
/r/MensRights15/01/16 10:15 PM
1

Trolling, of course, but I find one thing particularly objectionable about your post... "force a female to give me access to her children..." The pronoun you're looking for is "our"...as in "our children". Men have equal responsibility and privilege when it comes to raising mutual children. I don't know of many self-respecting feminists who would disagree with that notion, either. Perhaps you should examine the underlying attitude of "ownership" you're exhibiting here and figure out if you're re…
/r/MensRights15/01/16 06:53 PM
3

Outstanding! I'm happy to hear things have achieved a balance. Best of luck to you and your son!
/r/MensRights19/08/14 04:13 PM
3

That's pretty much the thread right there. If anything, this little exchange should give OP proper reason to not lend her anything again. If she asks, a simple "No, I can't do that" should suffice.
/r/MensRights01/08/14 06:58 PM
2

I'm sure this is a very scary situation for you, but I'm curious, what point are you trying to make here, OP? A significant part of the conversation seems to have been left out - did you pressure her to get an abortion or something? Per your other comments, you chose not to use a condom even though you were aware she wasn't on birth control and assumed her stance on religion would necessarily mean she would abort a pregnancy. This seems like really poor judgment by both of you. It is what it is,…
/r/MensRights01/08/14 06:22 PM
75

That's nice to see. Especially since there were no mental gymnastics at play making all of those issues for men/boys to actually be some sort of misogyny.
/r/MensRights30/07/14 07:03 PM
5

Here's my take on this article - Stop Mansplaining There's a qualitative difference between "this happened to me" and "this happens to all women". If you speak of generalities, it becomes fair game for disagreement. And really, with regards to personal experience, sometimes that's fair game as well depending on the relationship between the speaker and the "mansplainer". E.g., my best friend, Heather, tends to catastrophize. I can't count how many times I've talked her off a ledge because some gu…
/r/MensRights30/07/14 05:30 PM
2

I'm glad the Harvard Title IX official is showing a little bit of sanity here, I guess. I mean, such a well-run and efficient college like Antioch must certainly have gotten something right. No wonder the VP is so eager to adopt these winning policies.
/r/MensRights30/07/14 04:42 PM
1

I'm not sure if this is some odd expression of a female power/entitlement fantasy or a way to legitimize male escorts. Either way, it will be entertaining to see it play out. I also have an inkling this won't catch on -it seems to me that men are socialized to do a lot of these sorts of things already (the whole Hero Myth I was talking about the other day). So I doubt the supply vs demand will really work out in their favor. Regardless, if some guy wants to sign up for what appears to be fairly …
/r/MensRights30/07/14 04:34 PM
2

Did the people who make the rules know what the effect of their rule-making would be? Impossible to say, really. Perhaps your super-brain can suss out their motivations? I can guarantee you that they did Oh...there it is! I knew you wouldn't let us down. Looks like that ESP comes in handy. So yes, they rigged it up so that watching this would be 'required', even if they gave enough wiggle room to let dishonest little shits like you argue otherwise. Scene: Conference Room - Comic Con 2014. 6 mont…
/r/MensRights30/07/14 02:04 PM
1

Welp...ya caught us. David and I are just SRS deep-trolls craving karma.
/r/MensRights30/07/14 01:55 PM
9

But...that's not what the author said. The reason it was "required" was because one would lose their seat if they left not because they wouldn't be allowed in to the Marvel panel.
/r/MensRights29/07/14 11:15 PM
1

Probably more applicable to ask: which men?
/r/MensRights29/07/14 09:47 PM
10

True. The same argument could be made for any scheduling decision that puts one presentation before another where the latter is expected to be very popular.
/r/MensRights29/07/14 07:08 PM
16

I think it's several things going on: Women are, to some, viewed as being morally superior, thus if they strike a man he "deserved" it in some way. A correlate to that is that men are often villanized, so there's the assumption of self-defense on a woman's part. Men being violent, or being exposed to violence, is considered "normal" male experience so when it happens it's not notable. Women are not given proper respect and assumption of agency, so it's dismissed when this happens in much the sam…
/r/MensRights29/07/14 06:56 PM
1

I find your compassion for your father to be truly awe-inspiring. So many people would be bitter towards a man like that, but you've managed to transcend that and see him as a person.
/r/MensRights29/07/14 06:20 PM
3

That part was so sad to hear. Even a relatively normal couple can visit conflict on their children by virtue of a breakup or divorce. That she put you in that position purposefully speaks volumes to what you had to deal with. I hope she finds some peace someday.
/r/MensRights29/07/14 04:43 PM
24

I'm happy This. A thousand times this. I'm really happy to hear you've gotten through this and reconnected with your dad. I hope this serves as inspiration to all of the forcibly estranged fathers our there - your children are your children for their entire lives. Things do come full circle so never abandon hope. Thank you for sharing this.
/r/MensRights29/07/14 03:21 PM
3

50% is slightly...?
/r/MensRights27/07/14 04:56 PM
1

Tagged as having zero reading comprehension.
/r/MensRights27/07/14 04:26 PM
39

Speaking just for myself: yes. Opinion on the majority is yes as well.
/r/MensRights27/07/14 02:18 AM
11

Many of the more prominent MHRM people - Farrell, Pizzey, Paglia, Sommers, Fiamengo, et al - either split from Feminism or still consider themselves feminists. One could make a case that the MHRM actually had it's roots in Feminism but split off due to active denial of equality for men so I think your point has some validity.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 10:26 PM
1

Ah, I get you. Thanks for clarifying. Now, a follow up - do you think this outlet reinforces or relieves the pressures of the Hero Myth?
/r/MensRights26/07/14 09:48 PM
2

should we treat those without boundaries between fantasy and reality as the norm? That is a good question. We are probably in agreement here, but I'll offer some comment to keep it rolling. I'd posit that the fantasy of the narrative is just one incarnation of the Hero Myth and that the lines between reality and fantasy are blurred when it comes to relationships and roles within the relationship. Here's a personal example - in my younger married days, I spent a lot of time on the road for work. …
/r/MensRights26/07/14 09:35 PM
1

This is why I'm glad I'm a gun owner and you're not.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 07:19 PM
1

I worry about the mental stability of people who have no resistances to narratives or characters in fictional settings, Well, here's the thing - does the narrative inform or portray life? Is the Hero Myth just a function of media and story-telling, or does it have roots in society at large? I think it's the latter, to be honest. Ir's more of a reflection than a projection. It's just a little easier to talk about a story since it's codified into a narrative with distinct themes. I mean, it's not …
/r/MensRights26/07/14 05:44 PM
1

I felt for the first time in a long time that I was doing what was expected of being a man. This. Many times, this. Exactly what I'm talking about.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 05:33 PM
3

It's impossible to say what the exact facts of their cases are, really. Since your relationship to them is personal, rather than as an authority, it's better to just take them at their word.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 02:40 AM
1

Yeah, I get that this was satirical. But you know me, I prefer blunt rhetorical force. :)
/r/MensRights26/07/14 02:37 AM
3

I don't think this is an epidemic by any means. I'm quite certain the vast majority of women would never even dream of doing something like this. But, by the same token, the few that would have an enormous amount of power to manipulate the system and therein lies the problem. That's why opposing overreaction by authority is so important and achieving a balance between the rights of the accused and the well-being of the victim should be the priority.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 01:52 AM
1

I don't think it's a matter of "lying" to be honest. I would venture a guess that of the actual unfounded accusations made, only a small number of them are done out of malice or are explicitly fabricated. Many, I suspect, are the result of other factors - pressure, panic, regret, alcohol. The idea here, since we're excluding the response to the issue by authority (which is really the crux of it, but we can talk about a tangent) is that women and men should be responsible for their choices. Being…
/r/MensRights26/07/14 01:42 AM
2

Most of what I wrote was off-the-cuff so I'm not holding position here dogmatically by any means. But, I'll reply for the sake of discussion. There is no more legitimate concern over the welfare of a 120 pound woman than a 120 pound man. Administrative Segregation is available for cases of someone who is particularly vulnerable. It's not designed for half the population of a facility, though. Regardless, it's a problem for men in prison as well as women's prisons. This would just exacerbate an e…
/r/MensRights26/07/14 01:31 AM
16

Seems to me that the pregnancy defense is irrelevant here. It's horrible and I feel badly for the man that he was robbed so many times before and attacked, but the bottom line is he shot someone outside his home twice in the back as they were fleeing. This is not a case a self-defense.
/r/MensRights26/07/14 12:04 AM
3

Thank you kindly. I may just do that later. Good suggestion. And my first sticky! That's exciting. :)
/r/MensRights25/07/14 11:49 PM
2

So, from a personal perspective, success at a game by overcoming obstacles provides a sense of worth and achievement that counteracts the social message of men being expendable. Is that about what you meant?
/r/MensRights25/07/14 11:43 PM
4

That's a pretty good point, though I think it works in reverse to what you've stated. I recall some research I read many years ago as it pertains to violence in media and how boys play. Violence, unto itself, was almost never a goal. Little boys who played the "good guy" would enjoy games vastly more than those who played the "villain". Violence for a moral cause is not that far removed from the hero myth and I think speaks back to how boys are socialized to accept their own disposability as opp…
/r/MensRights25/07/14 11:09 PM
1

Oh, that is a good point indeed!
/r/MensRights25/07/14 11:01 PM
1

Sadly, not so much, at least as it concerns the prison industrial complex.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 10:40 PM
4

So, I pondered this for a moment just to see if you had a point, and I'm not so sure you do. It's an interesting question, but I don't think gender segregation is a function of sexism, but of practicality and purpose. Just some off-hand thoughts on this; Prisons are violent places and, on average, women are smaller and physically weaker than men. There is a large potential for harm so some of the reason is a legitimate concern for women's safety. Prisons are for punishment - recreating a normali…
/r/MensRights25/07/14 09:46 PM
3

I only hope that a fraction of what I typed flips a switch in readers minds, so they will go do some further research. I think you gave a great response and really, that's the whole point of discussion in an open forum - you're not going to change the mind of your opponent, but you might sway the bystander.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 08:37 PM
14

That's a great sentiment for them to have. Yay! We've arrived! The National Organization for Women should be issuing a retraction of their opposition to shared parenting any day now...
/r/MensRights25/07/14 08:08 PM
4

Pretty typical imputation of ignorance/bail from the discussion tactic. Loosely translated: "I hold an untenable position and won't agree to your more reasonable middle-ground, so I will call you dumb and exit the conversation".
/r/MensRights25/07/14 07:36 PM
-1

Yeah, the slander campaign is the doxxing - getting someone's personal information so they can be harassed. I think people are confusing a "drop" with trauma, so that's why people are upset. They seem to be reasoning that because your ex was curled up in the bathroom crying she was significantly harmed. When you do any sort of BDSM play (or any very intense sexual play, really) people will sometimes "drop" - that is, all the yummy neurotransmitters that got jacked into hyper-saturation in the br…
/r/MensRights25/07/14 07:17 PM
6

Two things came to mind when I read that snippet you posted about the experience: She dropped and you didn't provide adequate after-care. It wasn't as consensual as you thought it was. I think having your ex post a statement clarifying the event would go a long way as this sounds more like #1 to me. Everyone handles sexual trauma differently, but from the accounts I've read, shock seems to be the most common immediate response to it whereas dropping is a very common response to BDSM play. Her st…
/r/MensRights25/07/14 06:53 PM
2

Apologies in advance for not finding a tactful and diplomatic way of saying this... That was pretty stupid. Please do the movement a favor and not talk about it with strangers until you can do it right. Leading off a conversation with "ho", then jumping to generalizations and being an ass does not help the cause. We're fighting an empathy gap. No one has empathy for an asshole.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 06:35 PM
1

Oh yeah, I've experienced this phenomenon as well. Owning one's feelings is a difficult skill to master, especially when one is young.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 05:00 PM
2

TERFs have a repugnant world view, no doubt, but I am still suspect of any movement telling anyone who they should sleep with. Taking the same bigotry some political lesbians spout at heterosexual women and turning it around on them doesn't make it right.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 04:57 PM
2

Damn...this is a dreadful event no matter how you look at it.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 02:15 AM
1

I find that surprising given they explicitly prohibited funding grants to research male victims of IPV up until a few years ago. Still, that's good news indeed.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 02:04 AM
2

That's some good stuff, J_r_s. I've looked at the therapeutic aspects of anger/behavioral management, but never the overall effectiveness. This is rather eye-opening and furthers the case that the way we deal with IPV now is truly ineffective.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 01:37 AM
2

I think your title is more than a bit misleading.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 01:34 AM
1

Honestly, that's not your call and there is no way to force her if she chooses not to. Given her response to you, there's no telling what the actual story is, anyway. She could just as easily take your money and have the child regardless of anything she's said. You might be better served holding on to that $5k for now in case you need a lawyer later.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 01:26 AM
4

Why are you even engaged with her at this point, OP? From the conversation you and she had it seems you have some sort of twisted sense of obligation to her. You don't. If she chooses to have the child, you'll have an obligation then to the child, but if she's going back and forth between keeping the child and aborting it so quickly, this is not someone you should be involved with right now, if ever. That sort of erratic behavior is really disturbing. If you factor in her asking for an excessive…
/r/MensRights25/07/14 01:08 AM
5

Welcome to the sub. Seems like you acquitted yourself fairly well there - YouTube comments tend to be a cesspool of crazy so seems like you had at least some reasonable conversations. Kudos for putting the idea out there, at least. Now we shall see if Laci takes you up on the offer and invites someone.
/r/MensRights25/07/14 12:38 AM
4

Kudos to you for wanting to jump into this but I have to ask what you expect to accomplish. If you're expecting to FTSU, you will be outnumbered in potentially hostile territory and, honestly, if you're asking us for talking points you probably won't be close to being as prepared to storm that hill as they will be defending it. If you just want to get men's issues on the table, that might be a more reasonable goal. You might ask them or discuss items like: NOW's opposition to alimony and shared …
/r/MensRights25/07/14 12:20 AM
3

Damn, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. The first thing (and perhaps the most important) is to take care of yourself. You're under huge stress right now. Things are shit for the moment, but if you don't take good care of yourself, that shit can last far far longer than it needs to. It will also make dealing with everything else that much harder. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends and family. This is something you're not supposed to have to deal with all by yourself. The und…
/r/MensRights24/07/14 10:36 PM
1

That's not really what I'm saying. Perhaps this: "teenagers earn less money than adults". Factually, that's true. There are a lot of reasonable causes for it, but the fact still stands. Women, on average, do make somewhat less than men. Just because they work less hours, less overtime, take lower paying jobs, and don't negotiate their wages as much is irrelevant to the fact. The real question is what, if anything, should be done about it.
/r/MensRights24/07/14 09:13 PM
0

Just looking at it as an independent issue, really with two basic questions: the what and the why. The what has some fairly solid support. So, the statement that women are paid less is tenable. The why is a completely different question and that's where feminism gets it wrong by implying it's a matter of discrimination. Either way, until trying to rectify this becomes harmful to men somehow, I'm not convinced it's something we should even worry about.
/r/MensRights24/07/14 07:23 PM
34

So, tracking the process of a marginally functional relationship that lacks communication between two people with incompatible sex drives is...rape culture? Physical intimacy is a reasonable expectation in a romantic relationship. Being disappointed is not a function of being "entitled". Perhaps the tables can be turned here. How many times have you heard a girlfriend or wife complain about lack of emotional intimacy? Are our partners "entitled" to our deepest and most intimate thoughts and emot…
/r/MensRights24/07/14 05:46 PM
-2

The pay gap is not a myth, the idea that it's a function of sexism or discrimination is. Regardless, I question whether this is even an issue for us. If women make more, intact marriages benefit. Men benefit if the marriage breaks down as a result of lower or no spousal support (or even alimony). And if it's someone unrelated it's of no consequence.
/r/MensRights24/07/14 12:13 AM
2

You might want to take a look at our Wiki, sidebar, and affiliate subs (especially /r/MRActivism). That should give you a pretty sound starting point and some decent information.
/r/MensRights23/07/14 09:09 PM
6

I can understand your reticence and fear - it takes some courage to stand up in an environment that seems hostile. Still, there are ways to do this - find like-minded people informally without raising too much attention, reach out to other groups that have tried (and especially those that have succeeded), find a sympathetic professor or mentor that knows your environment. If you can gather enough people together and have all of your issues and agendas straight, you can present this in a way that…
/r/MensRights23/07/14 08:58 PM
14

Perhaps rather than assume you can't create a men's issues group, give it a try. An effective form of activism is to test the system. If there are officially sanctioned groups at your university that address women's issues, then there's precedent for creating a men's group. Approach this in good faith and out of a legitimate desire - be organized, have an agreeable agenda, a sponsor, members that want such a group, position the group with regards to actual advocacy, etc. At worst, you expose a s…
/r/MensRights23/07/14 08:16 PM
2

Depends on what your goal is, I suppose. You're not going to be able to change many minds with a reasonable argument. The idea itself is too far entrenched in modern thought. And perhaps that is, overall, not a bad thing - they certainly started the gender dialog and there have absolutely been issues facing women that needed to be addressed. So, in my opinion, it's better to be selective in opposition to Feminism. There are certainly places where it unnecessarily opposes men's interests and ther…
/r/MensRights23/07/14 04:09 PM
1

I believe it means pence - as in the UK version of the penny.
/r/MensRights23/07/14 03:52 PM
2

This is a very strange post. Usually when we get false accusation stories here, they are full of fear and confusion about the event, not a graphic and crass depiction of the sex involved. Regardless, as unfair as it is at a personal level, she told you to stop. You didn't. Your best bet is lawyer up and break off all contact with her.
/r/MensRights23/07/14 03:12 PM
3

Ah Disney...they must have significant investment in porn production companies. Might as well groom the next generation of Fem Dom consumers early, y'know?
/r/MensRights23/07/14 02:54 PM
1

Ah, cool. I'll see if I can add to them. I'm looking for primary sources and though I've run across several articles so far, nothing that seems to reference an on-line publication that's citable. Going through the Kinsey Institute's search feature now. If anyone has this, they would.
/r/MensRights22/07/14 08:37 PM
2

Ah, I see. That's an interesting question! I think, even for men, the differences between arousal, erection, orgasm, and ejaculation are often blurred so some sort of specific research would be enlightening, for sure. I suppose that would require specific medical testing, though, and using some sort of brain scanning or other involuntary physiological response to determine if an orgasm is actually achieved when ejaculating. You've got me curious now. I think I'll jump in on this topic with you i…
/r/MensRights22/07/14 08:18 PM
3

Judging by OP's response to his email any sort of contact with the author will assuredly be misconstrued as yet another set of "harrassment and rape threats" from the boogie man MHRM no matter how politely they are written. Perhaps just writing the editor is the better way to go.
/r/MensRights22/07/14 08:13 PM
3

Interesting that the only mention of an orgasm is done with relation to the female orgasm and not the male. Did you search for related terms as well? "Climax", "pleasure", "ejaculation", etc.?
/r/MensRights22/07/14 08:00 PM
1

Holding back as in suppressing your feelings a bit so you don't get overinvested and consequently get hurt.
/r/MensRights21/07/14 09:47 PM
1

What you're describing there is probably better defined as infatuation, I think. Although, the term isn't as important as the ability to deal with those feelings when they come up. If it's become a problem, you should consider ways you can protect yourself - everything from holding back until you get a batter feel for another person to therapy. There's no one single right way to do love, but there are some wrong ways. Investing emotionally in someone without knowing if they return the sentiment …
/r/MensRights21/07/14 09:39 PM
1

Just with regards to infidelity - emotional and physical infidelity are both possible. When it comes to intimate betrayal, both are damaging in various degrees to the betrayed spouse. Typically men are more sensitive to physical infidelty and women are more sensitive to emotional infidelty. They both do considerable harm, though. I find it unlikely the man would fall in love with another woman without there being a significant effort placed in getting to know her as well as violating some seriou…
/r/MensRights21/07/14 09:28 PM
6

Side note: that had to be one of the most coherent and interesting use of metaphors I've ever seen on Reddit.
/r/MensRights20/07/14 07:06 PM
2

I think you have a point at least with regards to opposition to Feminism from the MHRM. There are places where we can most likely agree. Circumcision, men's mental health, Selective Service, etc. come to mind offhand. However, there are places where feminism's power structures specifically oppose progress on men's issues. I don't think Feminism will go away anytime soon, so I think we need to redefine our relationship with Feminism so we can get some progress in the real world. Oppose it selecti…
/r/MensRights20/07/14 05:49 PM
2

Here's my take on this: apologize to her with the intention of getting her out of your life. Give her no fuel for anything. Then, get yourself sober and get some help. So much of your story resonates with dysfunction and confusion, it's heartbreaking. This is not how love is supposed to be. Have you considered therapy for yourself? If not, please do. It sounds like your ex might be borderline given her back and forth flipping or attitudes and some of her behavior towards you (testing, emotional …
/r/MensRights20/07/14 04:14 PM
2

If it had been a girl baby they would have let her off with probation or something, I'm sure.
/r/MensRights20/07/14 12:55 AM
1

That's true - being an ebullient teenager in direct contact with a customer and a stranger walking on the street are drastically different interactions.
/r/MensRights19/07/14 05:39 PM
1

I'm not so sure that was the intention, though. We obviously simply have different perspectives on this.
/r/MensRights19/07/14 01:50 AM
2

Yeah. 18 year-old me hadn't learned that lesson yet and I opted to try "Fix It" mode.
/r/MensRights18/07/14 11:18 PM
9

Sadly, we're our own worst enemies at times. I think you're well in-bounds to be frustrated here. It's disappointing to hear other people show an outward lack of empathy. But also consider the venue - it's quite possible that any of those guys could be moved by a more personal story or would react differently one-on-one. People tend to behave differently in groups and there is always pressure to conform. I think the thought process is basically: I must not be a victim in order to be a man. Men's…
/r/MensRights18/07/14 11:04 PM
3

Oh yeah, I remember you. The shocked uncomfortable yankee, right? :) It is a bit of a cultural shift, for sure. Around here, if someone doesn't call you "m'baby", "boo", or "darlin'" during a conversation, it's nearly an insult.
/r/MensRights18/07/14 09:58 PM
2

Overall, I'd say I'm Liberal, by American standards anyway.
/r/MensRights18/07/14 07:11 PM
4

I can imagine that was pretty frustrating for you. I know it can feel like an assault on your character sometimes. Here's my take on it though, and maybe some of this will resonate with you. I recall working in a restaurant in Jacksonville, FL many years ago. A woman came in during the day, and I, being a rather jovial guy, beamed at her a hearty "Hello!". She smiled back and replied, "just 1", meaning just herself for lunch. So, I was feeling especially affable that day so I responded, "more th…
/r/MensRights18/07/14 07:08 PM
1

Just speaking my personal opinion here, but I think if the meme had just stated that women had 624 pieces of legislation interfering, it would have proved the point wonderfully and truly focused on the issue. I mean, that's a sickeningly drastic number. But to continue with the "since the dawn of time" bit and put the number for men at 0? It would be wildly disingenuous to interpret that in any other way than "women have problems, men don't".
/r/MensRights18/07/14 06:28 PM
2

It's undeniable that government meddles with women's bodies. But in terms of the overall conversation, framing these discussions in a way that eliminates men does some harm. The meme sends a clear message that men's bodies aren't interfered with, or are protected, which is clearly not the case.
/r/MensRights18/07/14 03:27 PM
4

Maybe think of it as a more elegant way of saying "not trans" when used legitimately. It's often weaponized though (I'm looking at you, Tumblr), so I get what you're saying.
/r/MensRights17/07/14 06:54 PM
32

It might get published, sure. Seems like a winner no matter what - sometimes getting stuff down on paper and actually doing something makes people feel better even if the results aren't perfect. I think you should totally go for it.
/r/MensRights17/07/14 05:30 PM
76

Ugh! That's maddening. I'm sorry to hear that happened. I'm assuming the park is open to the public, yes? If so, have you thought about writing a letter to the school or parks department in your town noting the obvious discrimination? Or perhaps even sending a letter to the editor of your local paper? It might do some good for you to voice your frustration meaningfully and can help the cause in general too!
/r/MensRights17/07/14 05:06 PM
2

I think we should stick with the immediate and pertinent issues - legal reforms, policy changes, getting answers, etc. Opposition to Feminism should be selective and pointed at specific organizations' policies and not so broad based or ideology driven. That might even get us places - a concerted effort to appeal to NOW to drop their opposition to shared parenting might be more constructive than trying to paint all feminists as horrible people. That's both unfair to the people (and they are just …
/r/MensRights17/07/14 04:53 PM
3

As opposed to the highly advanced yank which should be reserved for the weekends or while watching Baywatch.
/r/MensRights17/07/14 06:13 AM
9

I have no idea, man. I've emailed Warren Buffet a dozen times and I still haven't gotten my Overlord of the Patriarchy introductory check and welcome package.
/r/MensRights17/07/14 04:09 AM
1

I think this is parallel to issues men face when they're victims of any type of abuse, especially by females and women and also in instances where their issues are ignored (I think examples of this would be in child custody cases, formal education and building self-esteem, etc.) I think I'm following you here. Let me see if I have this right. I've been of the opinion that for men, it's not always a matter of constant oppression but in cases where a man's life breaks down where we see the issues …
/r/MensRights17/07/14 01:19 AM
2

I think it has more to do with Apple's demographic target for marketing. Remember those Apple vs PC commercials? PCs are for stodgy white businessmen, Apple products are for young urban hipsters. In the shop where I work, the division is more over the technology and the stodgiest old white guys in the office prefer Mac to PC for some reason. In contrast, I'm the liberal, pony-tail sporting, beach bum and I swear by my PC (because reasons).
/r/MensRights16/07/14 09:06 PM
17

One could easily note the lack of legal protection for men's bodies as a challenge to this idea. We can still be legally mutilated at birth. The Prison Rape Elimination Act has no teeth and paltry enforcement. Excessive incarceration and sentencing biases regulate not only men's bodies, but their entire lives. Part in parcel to this is inmate labor. Whoever posted this is fundamentally flawed in their reasoning anyway - it's not men who oppose pro-choice legislation, it's predominantly conservat…
/r/MensRights16/07/14 07:47 PM
1

So, from a non-binary perspective, where do you think the overlap lies?
/r/MensRights16/07/14 05:56 PM
1

That is an interesting question, definitely, and I'm curious as well. I seem to recall there being a few, but not many that have identified as such explicitly. There is certainly room for trans people if they choose to be a part of the MHRM, I think. We don't hold things like "privilege" as having a lot of weight so we don't see someone crossing gender lines as being for ulterior motives. No one will be labeled a "gender traitor" here and I can be pretty confident in stating that. Regardless of …
/r/MensRights16/07/14 04:52 AM
1

Ha! As foretold by prophesy... Verily, the recantment of the frail shall be seen with taint... In the city of ghosts the banner shall be held high... Kill the sinner, ignore the saint... Ever the victim incapable of lies...
/r/MensRights16/07/14 12:14 AM
4

That's a good point, actually. Accumulation of anecdotes can eventually become quite compelling, I'd imagine.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 10:16 PM
1

My lack of personal awareness on this issue has made me unwittingly allow the further destruction of the male persona ion society. I think this is a sort of trap thinking, punch. There's certainly a case to be made for inaction in the face of obvious injustice having some complicity. But it's worth asking - what harm does it actually do not having two men kissing a little boy in a pharmacy window picture? I can say with some certainty that I've survived it myself. So, maybe hold up on the self-r…
/r/MensRights15/07/14 10:00 PM
1

There are definitely double-standards in abundance when it comes to male sexuality.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 09:06 PM
1

Honestly, I can't answer that beyond speculating. This does seem like a good question to post on /r/AskFeminists though.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 09:05 PM
1

This is very true. It's actually built in to VAWA explicitly.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 09:04 PM
1

I've always thought of it as being sort of like MGTOW with Benefits, myself. Given that women usually have larger ranges on the Kinsey Scale, it's probably about the same base idea really. There is certainly an inherent mistrust of men involved with political lesbianism, at the very least, though. I don't know how popular that notion is anymore. Just looking at it from the outside, gender separatists seem to be marginalized in some feminist communities. As for how society would respond to MRAs b…
/r/MensRights15/07/14 08:39 PM
3

That approach is really stupid, you're right. Self-worth is one thing, but expecting others to extend their personal preferences to accommodate someone else is just way out of whack. I couldn't tell you why feminists don't decry such things, honestly. That might be a good question to pose over in /r/AskFeminists
/r/MensRights15/07/14 08:32 PM
2

Heh...this reminds me of something I learned from my dad... "Don't ascribe to malice that which is better explained by incompetence". I'm voting newbie here. Some of the OP's other posts were fairly thoughtful.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:56 PM
1

I think you're conflating the fat acceptance movement with some feminisms that support positive body images. FA people often cite things like thin privilege, resist notions that they should lose weight for health reasons, and often try to normalize unhealthy behavior to avoid scrutiny and criticism. That's typically where you'll find statements comparing not being attracted to overweight or obese people to discrimination. The positive body image people are more concerned with tearing down unreal…
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:46 PM
3

I feel like the MHRM is a bit of a fraternity or brotherhood (or some other better inclusive term that incorporates female and non-binary MRAs). I feel a specific connection to the people in the movement. There are a lot of common experiences that have gone unrecognized and this is a great place to find people who have seen the same things I have. As for issues - recognition and resources for male victims, advocacy for men and boys from government, and a focus on actual equality for all people w…
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:36 PM
3

If this is sarcastic, I applaud your attempt at humor and satire, even if it falls a little short of the mark. Though it may work as more of a satire against the MHRM than in favor of it, honestly. If it's not, perhaps you're not in a good frame of mind to pursue a sexual relationship at all right now. This just seems overly paranoid and unworkable.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:25 PM
2

/r/nottheonion is over thatta way...
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:20 PM
3

That's an interesting statement. Granted, there have been plenty of significant women in history, science, and society and some of their contributions haven't been highlighted to the degree they perhaps deserve to be. But that narrative is otherwise spot on - the bad gets attributed to men as a gender and the good becomes a matter of personal accomplishment. If one does even the slightest probing into women functioning in positions of power, you'll find pretty quickly that everyone has blood on …
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:16 PM
2

You, sir, are quickly becoming one of my favorite posters here. Very well said.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 02:07 AM
3

That's an excellent comparison, actually. Both are not recognized for their intellectual honesty or vigor and have obvious ideological biases that neither is particularly apologetic about.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 08:26 PM
4

Selection bias has long been a problem with this sort of thing, no doubt. There's a very good reason Michael Kimmel and his ilk are critical of the CTS - it doesn't rely upon victim reporting to authority which is a highly biased approach in favor of female victims and nearly erases male victims who are less likely to report.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 07:53 PM
12

Cue accusations of people questioning the notarized retraction as a fabrication, or citing the retraction as a forced move because of the libel suit and it's not authentic. They will not take this as proof. Rest assured.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 06:51 PM
1

Brilliant comment. Well said.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 04:40 PM
5

Eh...there is a time and a place for politics. I tend to think that dating isn't one of them. You don't have to necessarily live this stuff 24/7. For what it's worth, I'm currently dating my Super Smart Feminist Girlfriend tm whom I met on OKC and we've been doing great. We accept that our concepts on gender politics differ, but neither of us are jerks about it to the other. Much better, perhaps, to just find someone that loves and respects you that you can love and respect.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 04:11 PM
3

I found this site earlier today looking for information on Edward Leineweber and thought it might be of use to our community. It has information for all the judiciary positions in the US so might be a source of reference the next time we see insane judges making insane decisions to the detriment of men. Some of the entries contain election information as well, so cases that highlight extreme bias might lead to some activism to help the worst ones get voted off the bench.
/r/MensRights14/07/14 04:04 PM
1

It appears that he has retired already (thank heavens for that). His Judgepedia entry
/r/MensRights14/07/14 03:57 PM
1

Ah, yes. I wish our stories were rare. Thanks for the encouragement! Perhaps there's a smoking gun around here somewhere. :)
/r/MensRights13/07/14 02:40 AM
1

Oh, absolutely. I'm going to have to do some research into the income brackets of the average child-support paying man. I'm curious about relative incomes now. Dammit erry. :)
/r/MensRights13/07/14 01:51 AM
1

Relating to that specific question, none yet. I'm still digging through the links though. My hypothesis is based on something I'd observed when I was part of a Retrouvaille Angel couple - men who were cheated on and had suffered severe intimate betrayal often had suicidal ideation. 2 of the 10 or so guys in that specific category actually attempted it. Then there was what I call the "worst day of my life". My ex-wife had left a few months prior, I had to give up my house and was holding a garage…
/r/MensRights13/07/14 01:17 AM
1

I was just playing my Google searching game - pick a question I want answered and see what pops up. This time around it was "male suicide rates due to domestic violence emotional abuse".
/r/MensRights13/07/14 01:03 AM
1

There are a couple of iffy factual claims (e.g. that women are the majority of the victims of DV). But overall the article is worth the read and does a nice job of outlining the complex mix of factors that go into men's mental health.
/r/MensRights13/07/14 12:43 AM
25

Very true. And even a fourth option - the suit gets thrown out or they lose, which brings focus on the inherently sexist response of the court system with regards to men's issues.
/r/MensRights12/07/14 11:14 PM
3

I'm more of a cafeteria politico, honestly. No particular party or partisan stance sums up my views that accurately. I'm socially and somewhat financially liberal, conservative in certain personal values, progressive is others, and have a classical liberal (I suppose libertarian) view of ethics and civics. I know it's a non answer, so sorry about that, but figured I would chime in to get the discussion started. :)
/r/MensRights12/07/14 10:19 PM
2

Thanks J_r_s!
/r/MensRights12/07/14 10:08 PM
0

Offering just an explanation here, but I think it stems from the groups that are engaged in these activities. The abortion issue is viewed as applying to women in the lowest of economic strata (which is a supportable position, actually). Child support is viewed as being paid by well-to-do white men who stepped out on their wives to have affairs with the 20-something nurses (a not supportable position). It's all about the narrative and speaks more to bad assumptions and stereotypes about men. Edi…
/r/MensRights12/07/14 09:07 PM
1

Those are interesting links and I appreciate the gracious response. However, if I may gently point out something here. Assuming I am a "Marxist SJW", as well as other ad hom comments, is most certainly a post-modern approach that you took in our exchange. The only affirmative statement you made initially was with regard to chimpanzees and toy preference. The rest was just implied personal attacks. The implication was fairly strong in my position that I interpreted the comments in that article as…
/r/MensRights12/07/14 06:24 PM
2

Yeah, I was happy to see that too. The judge's comment was just so the-fuck-out-there it made me a bit queasy.
/r/MensRights12/07/14 05:31 PM
2

The fact that it happened at all is the shocking part. Still, I'm glad to hear that some sanity prevailed.
/r/MensRights12/07/14 05:24 PM
54

The fact that they can unironically diagnose a 6 year-old with ADHD is nearly sufficient unto itself to rule out competent adults being involved in this case. Obviously the answer is to pump him full of amphetamines to curb his impulse control.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:44 PM
-5

I've been over in the debateAMR sub the last week or so and it's not too bad, actually. I will be curious as to whether this article makes the rounds over there and what the responses are.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:34 PM
62

A child of that age can't even spell consent let alone know what the proper application of it is. I mean, kids have no boundaries. None. I mean, at the very worst you might maybe kinda sorta be able to make a case to hold the parents responsible. Maybe. Big huge pulsing pile of maybe.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:30 PM
2

Assuming she's a feminist is a bit faulty - some polls put self-identified feminists at what? 30-some-odd percent? What will be interesting, though, is to see how known feminists pick up on this and use it as a banner. I can see the headlines now... "Cards Against Humanity Creator Says Woman He Raped in College Was Just a Jilted Lover".
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:20 PM
5

I have a feeling that the "Nope" gif at the bottom was trying to make it an ironic post. I think you can safely continue to be disappointed in Buzzfeed.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:16 PM
-2

Hmmm...you know what? You're right. I got hung up on the term "always" and made a bad implication. That being said, prescriptive biological determination is still a faulty proposition. As a descriptor, sure, it has some merit but that's not really the connotation of "biotruth" as I've seen it used. It's not prescriptive in that it cannot effectively dictate an outcome for any given case. That's what it seemed to me that Dr Stoet was implying at first. Hedging your bets in case someone cites you …
/r/MensRights11/07/14 11:09 PM
84

I know, it's weird. I don't know if anyone else ever had this, but I remember turning 9 or 10 and my dad sitting me down and telling me I had reached the "age of reason" where I would be expected to know right from wrong. Setting expectations like this for a 6 year old is a horrific precedent. I don't even want to ponder the implications.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 10:20 PM
3

Damn. Suck situation, but I have to hand it to the guy. He responded really well. His lack of defensiveness, and great tact, speaks volumes. It's impossible to say what this girl is on about. Maybe she was assaulted by someone else 10 years ago and his image triggered her. Maybe she has been carrying resentment for his fade out and is looking to get back at him. Maybe she's out to make a fast buck with some sort of legal action. Maybe she's even right and the guy is lying about what happened. Re…
/r/MensRights11/07/14 10:16 PM
–

Judge Edward Leineweber found probable cause to proceed with the petition, reasoning that the boy needed only to have penetrated the girl and known she was under a certain age. “Even the most immature 6-year-old could appreciate these two concepts,” Wait...what? How the hell can you hold a child criminally culpable for anything at that age?
/r/MensRights11/07/14 09:38 PM
0

You gripe that people downvote you without counter-arguments, but you just did the same thing to the article by your use of the meaningless thought-terminating cliché, "biotruth". I have no accountability to the author. As the first to respond with some semblance of counter-argument, I'd say we are on the right track so that's appreciated. If my initial response offended your sensibilities, so be it. Snark happens. The term "biotruth" is nothing but a weaponized meme used to avoid answering peop…
/r/MensRights11/07/14 09:06 PM
1

Hrmmm...I've not heard of it getting that granular. That's pretty bizarre. Are these cases of claims filed with the EEOC?
/r/MensRights11/07/14 08:12 PM
0

So, you subscribe to biological/gender imperative?
/r/MensRights11/07/14 08:10 PM
2

There's definitely a problem with the undistributed middle term here. This reminds me of the ol' question about the tree falling in the forest making a sound. The definition of sound shifts around to make it a meaningless question. Ultimately, the idea of objectification denies two important pieces: The agency of the person who chooses to engage in that behavior (are women and men not allowed to objectify themselves or knowingly put themselves in position to be "objectified"?). The actual attitu…
/r/MensRights11/07/14 07:41 PM
3

That's pretty much what I would expect, yeah. I haven't seen it yet, but my biggest concern is where employers keep overall payroll the same, but raise women's wages by virtue of lowering men's. I mean, who cares if women's start earning more than they do now as long as men aren't paid less to make that happen? I mean, by extending the duration of my divorce my ex-wife was forced to make her own living. When the time came to finalize everything, there was grounds for no spousal support due to th…
/r/MensRights11/07/14 07:25 PM
-4

I agree, it should be a pull rather than push. The author's thesis seems to imply there's some sort of biological imperative so that's where I make my objection. It's a double-edged sword and that line of thinking has some bad ramifications for men.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 06:46 PM
3

The wage gap is pretty much a non-issue from my perspective. It's one of those "wake me when they decide to draft a law which forces an averaging of salaries between the genders" things. If they want to harp on their woozle, let them. We have enough affirmative evidence to push our issues without needing to negate every misinformed concept that comes from the Feminist camp.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 06:43 PM
-9

Yay...another neo-con bio-truther. The correlate to this, of course, is that men can't be nurses, English teachers, childcare workers, social workers, Human Resource professionals, administrative assistants, clerical workers, or copy writers. Looks like we got our choices here guys - Java or coal mines. Take your pick. Edit: Downvotes without counter-comments? C'mon guys...if you disagree, let's have it out. Edit 2: After further review, the play on the field has been overruled. 15 yard penalty …
/r/MensRights11/07/14 06:14 PM
1

I like this. Well said.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 03:50 PM
2

Hey, thanks for the thorough run-down of the debate. It doesn't sound like it's worth watching. Lack of clash bugs the crap out of me.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 04:20 AM
10

I agree. And it's as simple as that. Yes, we should all treat each other better. Indeed, every person has the capability, and often the actuality, of doing harm to another. The roles we play as a result of gender do harm when they are thrust upon us and our natural inclinations try to defy what society as a whole tries to impose. Oddly, I've been spending some time in a new debate sub with a group that is explicitly against the MRM. Even there, we've found some common ground. It takes a good dea…
/r/MensRights11/07/14 04:12 AM
1

...flying chest bump... Oops...sorry. You ok?
/r/MensRights11/07/14 03:37 AM
1

Did I just land some shitlord points in r/MR? SCORE!
/r/MensRights11/07/14 03:32 AM
3

Ah, I knew it! And all this time I thought it was because little dogs didn't get corrected and socialized with the same care as big dogs. :)
/r/MensRights11/07/14 03:19 AM
1

I don't see this as an influx in workers, just applicants. Per the article, Google was just spending some cash on training, but I didn't see anything guaranteeing jobs. As a for-profit entity, expanding their pool of applicants makes sense. If that qualifies them for jobs elsewhere, great. They still have to make the cut and, in the tech sector at least, there's still a good deal of a meritocracy involved. If you can code, you get hired. If you can't, you don't.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 03:15 AM
7

Glad to contribute. I recall at one point in my life, I was told that I was "too big to have emotions". As if being 6'3" means anything to how one feels after exiting an abusive relationship. I received denials and lack of validation similar to what you went through and can totally get where you're coming from. It's disappointing and disheartening and makes the world seem so much more hostile. It's sometimes hard for some people to recognize that men are human beings.
/r/MensRights11/07/14 12:28 AM
-3

Very true! It's time to stop seeing this stuff as zero-sum. Until and unless it affects men adversely, seems to me like it's a non-issue from a men's perspective. If anything, it's laudable.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 11:50 PM
5

This smells of Poe.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 11:39 PM
3

convened several town hall sessions on campus sexual assault to which she didn’t invite defense attorneys or civil libertarians. This is her biggest failure. She's a former prosecutor and obviously has little interest in consensus building. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. This sounds like a good time to find out who will oppose her in the next election and lend some support. Alternately, here is her senate contact information if you feel like writing a nast…
/r/MensRights10/07/14 11:30 PM
58

Honestly, if Google wants to do this all on its own, that's fine. I'm not sure why they don't realize that one can spend the same 3 months on W3School or Stack Overflow and learn a lot more for free. As long as their hiring practices fall in line with fair standards, they can spend their money as they see fit.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 11:24 PM
15

I'm really happy to hear you've come to a good point in life and got that last bit of insight into your abuser. When you can shrug them off as being ridiculous, you know you've come a long way. :)
/r/MensRights10/07/14 10:44 PM
5

Fair enough. Still, ya done good. :)
/r/MensRights10/07/14 10:27 PM
1

Oh yeah. /u/J_r_s just revamped the support groups area. Did a great job on it and also opened a new sub /r/MaleSupportNetwork for this kind of stuff.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 10:15 PM
2

This is an excellent site, indeed. It's on our wiki under the support heading.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 10:05 PM
5

/r/asoiaf makes sense. GRRM pisses everyone off eventually. There is much angst.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 10:02 PM
4

I hope McGill gets flooded for male applicants for secretarial/clerical positions. Then we can see how "fair" they actually are. And that's all I have to say about that.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 09:50 PM
72

A tiny drop of sanity in an otherwise insane scenario. Pardon me if I don't see this as a win.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 09:39 PM
1

As foretold by prophesy!
/r/MensRights10/07/14 09:12 PM
1

That dude is one repugnant human being.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 08:10 PM
3

LOL! No kidding. Given the chances of pregnancy, even if one is actively trying, aren't that great, under those circumstances it would truly be a "miracle" baby. Who could possibly deny what it obviously a force of nature? :)
/r/MensRights10/07/14 08:00 PM
2

Oh, that's a great link. I've only read about RISUG from ancillary sources, and know more about Vasagel, but this is some great information. Thanks!
/r/MensRights10/07/14 07:54 PM
6

Wow...the ramifications of this are immense. Vasectomy is considered by many to be a man's ultimate fallback and protection from unwanted fatherhood. So, once again, we see men's options being reduced by the necessity of making difficult life choices.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 06:20 PM
1

Yes, "bad show" is such scathing commentary. I find it telling you didn't post similar comments to the mods on this thread who also believed it could be the case. Intriguing thing, that. You posted your correction and that was appreciated. All is find and dandy in the world.
/r/MensRights10/07/14 02:10 AM
0

Ah, gotcha. Thanks.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 11:14 PM
1

Generally, defendants are punished for seeking to resolve their charges in a court room instead of bargaining with the prosecutor. Yeah, I see this as a problem. Good point. What causes this? Is it just to ensure the backlog of cases doesn't grow so big and thus ensure a "speedy" trial when it becomes necessary?
/r/MensRights09/07/14 11:13 PM
1

Done and done. Curious, though - is this a new petition? I seem to recall seeing a similar petition going around at some point. I recall after signing it the system responded that my email address was already on the petition but this time it went through.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 10:58 PM
3

Isn't that essentially the same as fearing loneliness? I think there's a qualitative difference between being in a relationship because you don't want to be alone and being in one because it is fulfilling and satisfying. When one is afraid of being alone, the quality of the relationship doesn't matter too much, whereas with real intimacy is matters a great deal. Does that make sense? Good point! Thanks. :)
/r/MensRights09/07/14 10:41 PM
1

I hadn't heard of him until he presented at the conference and I watched his presentation. I thought what he had to say there was pretty good. but I don't put him on a pedestal so this doesn't seem like a huge fall to me. Just someone doing something dumb on the internet. Personal opinion aside, though, yeah, it looks like a dumb move trying to manufacture legitimacy, and as a conference speaker he's obviously elevated in the community so this reflects on us all somewhat. Bad show all around.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 10:37 PM
5

I think that's an accurate depiction as well, with perhaps a notable absence of a 4th advantage of physical and emotional intimacy. Yes, these can be fulfilled in a short-term relationship or even a long-term unmarried one, but there is a qualitative difference to what can be achieved by virtue of the relative security of a marriage. It's probably worth mentioning a few legal advantages as well - default medical power of attorney, protection from giving testimony, etc.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 10:28 PM
1

Legit question: how does this affect men?
/r/MensRights09/07/14 10:07 PM
5

There are a lot of reasons to get married, really - because someone is important enough to you you want to spend the rest of your life with them, the tax break, a stable environment for children, having a companion to share the load of living, physical and emotional intimacy, not dying or aging alone, someone to learn from, and really any of a number of reasons that vary wildly from person to person. From a men's perspective, there's really only one argument against it and it reduces down to: it…
/r/MensRights09/07/14 09:24 PM
1

Cool, thanks.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 05:31 PM
2

Yeah, I was taking a closer look at the Karma graphs and I wasn't sure what it was revealing. Was that overall voting, upvotes, downvotes, a delta between them? More explanation would help there, I think. I suppose there's no real way to determine karma by subject at a macro level either. Upvoting a TRP'ers comment supporting opening male DV shelters is qualitatively different than upvoting comments stating all women are hamstering exploitive sluts (or whatever term du jour they're using).
/r/MensRights09/07/14 04:40 PM
1

And now we know what really motivated Paul to write that article. I mean, who wants to serve jury duty? The coffee is awful.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 04:22 PM
1

Hehe...no worries. It's a PDF file. Sorry, I didn't specify that in the link.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 04:21 PM
1

Yeah, that's a pretty reasonable objection if you think in terms of the "state" being the overall process. I tend to think of it as just one piece of the overall process. Seeking the "truth" seems to be the job of law enforcement. Using that truth is what the trial lawyers do. Much of how the system has developed seems to fall back upon what role each group plays. The DA is driven to convict just as the defense is driven to get an acquittal and law enforcement is driven to investigate, get arres…
/r/MensRights09/07/14 04:19 PM
3

This is an interesting article. The data is clearly there, but it is a bit dated and I'm not sure what that data actually shows. This sub has grown considerably in just the last 6 months, so I would be curious to see whether these same patterns hold true over time. So, establishing a trend would be quite valuable,I think, in terms of supporting your thesis. From an observational perspective, even though I really despise TRP, I can also see how some can hold both MRA and TRP views simultaneously,…
/r/MensRights09/07/14 04:03 PM
7

Poe's Law is a beautiful thing.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 01:09 AM
6

Dammit dawn...now I had to go look it and read and stuff! So, I found this interesting blurb in a paper by Cornell Law School: “juror demographic characteristics have been only weakly and inconsistently related to juror verdict preferences.”1 Which came from this citation: 1Dennis J. Devine et al., Jury Decision Making: 45 Years of Empirical Research on Deliberating Groups, 7 Psychol. Pub. Pol’y & L. 622, 673 (2001); see also Randolph N. Jonakait, The American Jury System 159 (2003); Nancy J. Ki…
/r/MensRights09/07/14 12:23 AM
0

Actually, the more I think of it, it's not too bad of a system. I don't think the juror striking is done arbitrarily. There are sometimes actuarial analyses done to prevent potential biases in any given pool. But, since both sides can strike, a natural compromise is reached through selection. If both sides believe that the remaining jurors aren't prejudiced against their particular side, there's a good chance it's an actual impartial jury.
/r/MensRights08/07/14 11:52 PM
4

The point is to get an impartial jury. I mean, if you had the victim's or defendant's aunt sitting as a juror, I doubt that would be an equitable execution of justice. The striking process just allows for scrutiny to make sure the jury is as impartial as possible. It's not perfect, of course, but it's a bit better than perfectly random.
/r/MensRights08/07/14 11:41 PM
1

You can count me in. I'm in the New Orleans metro area if anyone is interested in talking about it.
/r/MensRights08/07/14 06:16 PM
1

Man, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. This is absolutely a good place to vent it out. We understand and can sympathize. There is another sub you might try called /r/MaleSupportNetwork if you feel like talking it out more. I know this is hard, and I hope you consider getting some professional help getting past this. You're not alone.
/r/MensRights08/07/14 02:12 AM
6

Some serious academic thought and discussion relating to the causes and potential cures for all the major issues we believe are important should be what we concentrate on next, I think. Things like: The gap in IPV/DV resources - how do we fix this? What parts of the Feminist power structure specifically have made this a problem and what other factors come in to play that have nothing to do with Feminism? The educational gap - what causes it and how can we develop policies to help boys? What grou…
/r/MensRights07/07/14 09:11 PM
2

Spamming the site could be considered a DDoS attack on a public service and that pushes the bounds of legality. It's stupid, unethical, a PR nightmare, unproductive, and contrary to everything the MHRM strives to be - fair and just and lawful. If we really wanted to stress the system and exploit its weaknesses, let's offer a donation to the first man to have a woman expelled from Occidental by using this system. $5,000 should do nicely, I think. The way detractors would view this would be illumi…
/r/MensRights06/07/14 09:32 PM
2

Criminalizing drink driving is a matter of public safety. It is an inherently dangerous behavior. Contrasted with sex which is a normal behavior, it is appropriate to keep DUI as a crime. The real issue is one of coercion. It's quite possible for a man (or woman) to have been violated and entitled to all the support and validation as any victim, yet no crime has been committed.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 09:18 PM
9

Ah, I understand you better. Thanks for the clarification. The root of this, as it pertains to men with this attitude, is based on a couple of things. Having sex for the first time is a sort of rite of passage for men. If you've had sex, you're a man. Consequently a 13 year-old kid who has been exploited and victimized by a woman is seen as a rational actor and not as the child he is. There's also no small amount of a male gender roles being at play. Men are always supposed to want sex, so anyon…
/r/MensRights06/07/14 06:11 PM
7

We actually despise this scenario here, in general. I would recommend you take a look at some of the WBB posts that pop up now and again. Many of them outline the exact scenario you've described and decry some of the common problems: The media portrays it as "a relationship", "an affair", etc. and doesn't call it what it is: statutory rape. The woman is typically given the slightest of taps on the wrist with regards to how authority reacts. Comments on such articles are of the variety you descri…
/r/MensRights06/07/14 05:38 PM
5

Some of that is pretty rough, for sure. I'd be curious to see this done in the US, UK, or Canada and in various sized cities. It would also be informative to have a sort of running count of men who pass by without any interaction. Not to invalidate a woman's experience, but to see if there's any validity to the M&M claims.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 03:21 AM
2

I'm pretty sure that had nothing to do with feminism. Very poor troll attempt.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 02:32 AM
11

I don't think I've ever seen this talking point raised independently of discussing male suicides either. Sadly, most discussion on the causes of this (attention seeking behavior, teenage depression, post-partum, etc) would most likely resolve to "Patriarchy" or some other intersection of oppression. Remember, for the ideologues in that movement, they have their villain already. Pursuing any other avenue of discourse is just derailing.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 02:07 AM
2

What's sad is that these are the things that inform public policy and law. We're seeing the results pretty clearly, but when the causes are all just absently summarized as "toxic masculinity" it seriously limits any effective change. It really increases my respect for guys like Murray Strauss.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 10:35 PM
1

Yeah, that would be a difficult thing. One would have to look at pre/post pregnancy work hours and getting that from any macro study (which is necessary for actuarial type analysis, I think) would be damn near impossible. I've been looking for suicide rate studies based on forced parenting since Pundit posted this and haven't found anything yet. I think if a comparison is to be made, that's the most probable place to look.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 10:07 PM
7

HA! That analysis is clever, but I'm not sure it supports the premise. The risk associated with workplace fatality isn't a result of getting a woman pregnant. What would be interesting to see is suicide rates for men reviewed in relation to forced parenthood. There is probably a better case for showing a cause/effect relationship there.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 09:40 PM
3

That's a great analysis, yeah. Thanks for posting that (I bookmarked it this time :)
/r/MensRights05/07/14 08:49 PM
9

Does it matter? If a particular father wants to cede his parenting time, he has a right to do that as a negotiation point. There's no implication of force when it comes to default shared custody.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 08:45 PM
8

I think the question that should be asked is: why is default shared custody not the norm? The fact that it isn't is evidence enough of bias, really. Any explanation as to why it is not in place is generally sexist against men.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 08:27 PM
1

That's pretty cool, thanks for sharing that. If you have cable TV, check out Through the Wormhole's "Genetics of Wealth" episode (I think it's called) for a variation on this topic. It's a pretty interesting piece.
/r/MensRights05/07/14 03:41 AM
1

I think this raises a great and wider-scale point - men's sexuality is often seen as dirty or predatory rather than something a man can enjoy and be open about exploring. It's cool that companies are taking note of the demand and presenting these items as openly as they are.
/r/MensRights04/07/14 11:58 PM
3

If you haven't seen it, check out Stephan Molyeaux's (sp?) video from the ICMI conference. He talks about this precisely.
/r/MensRights04/07/14 11:34 PM
1

How often do you assume you are right simply because you feel you are, as opposed to looking at the consequences of an ideology or action. I suppose this question is specific enough to answer (though any further clarification would be appreciated). It's not so much examining the consequences of a particular action, it's measuring what is against what should be using a relatively objective standard. We aren't really moving into uncharted territory here. We understand that female genital mutilatio…
/r/MensRights04/07/14 07:43 PM
1

I understand you're looking at a general idea, but honestly this is something that's really too vague to put in terms of a gender politics realm. Can you cite some examples of what you want to talk about as it pertains to Men's Rights?
/r/MensRights04/07/14 07:07 PM
1

As an only reason, absolutely.
/r/MensRights04/07/14 01:25 AM
6

Oh, that is great to hear, OP! Congratulations! I think it's important for any father who is subjected to this to keep in mind it is a long-term (sometimes lifetime) game. One's child will be their child forever. And thought time may be missed along the way you will never get back, never give up hope. I'm really happy for you and your daughter, OP. Thanks for the cheery update. :)
/r/MensRights03/07/14 04:11 PM
3

A free-wheeling exchange of thoughts? Awesome. A vitriolic-as-we-wanna-get environment without pretension? Awesome. A hot pink theme? I'm out. Kidding aside, sounds like a decent idea. Might get people talking, which is always a good thing.
/r/MensRights03/07/14 03:46 PM
2

Do you love and trust her? Are your life goals compatible? Do you have a good sex life? Do you share the same core values? Also, curious why someone being financially independent would be a reason to consider not marrying that person. Especially if you maintain your own financial independence, talk about and share financial responsibilities, and make sound financial decisions.
/r/MensRights03/07/14 03:22 PM
4

Eh...it may have been a pedantic interpretation, but still fits the denotative definition if not the connotative one. And of course it's normal. We all discriminate in some ways, even if it's not discrimination (in the connotative sense). It was just an offhand thought on a silly article, Pierce. Things going ok at COTWA? I know you were pretty frustrated a few weeks ago. That situation improved?
/r/MensRights03/07/14 02:55 AM
2

I posted this a few weeks ago. Thought you might find the article interesting.
/r/MensRights03/07/14 02:45 AM
6

I don't think he's making the statement he's being an oppressor. Rather, that he's being sexist (which is somewhat accurate - it is a bias or prejudice towards a person based on their sex even if it's a benevolent one). The sad part is the self-flagellation over a thought crime. Choosing not to reflect on a stranger long enough after meeting them that you don't remember their face is not the sort of choice that affects anyone else. I actually feel sort of sorry for the guy.
/r/MensRights03/07/14 02:35 AM
2

I'd say the author's comment is a very good insight into the mind of the social justice warrior. It's not sufficient to be a group with problems that need to be addressed. One must be a victim of everything in order to be taken seriously.
/r/MensRights03/07/14 01:08 AM
5

I'm with you. Same goals, same spirit, different methods. If AVfM realized they are just the reactionary arm of the MHRM and understood that role, they can keep on doing what they're doing and everyone understands what's happening. But when there are real-world consequences for association with them and a group that does a lot to help men and boys is hindered, a change has to happen. Such is realpolitik.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 10:02 PM
3

Eh...it's Tumblr.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 07:56 PM
3

How long have you been preying on children, beating your wife, and torturing small animals? Love me some compound questions, now.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 07:12 PM
10

I would have society treat men with more empathy, and treat women with more respect. Empathy is obvious, but by respect, I mean that to be treating a person like they are a consciously-acting and self-responsible agent and having those be the expectations for everyone.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 06:47 PM
4

I'm here daily and see it very very rarely. Some examples would be helpful, thank you.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 06:37 PM
3

Thus these studies are illegitimate ... and obviously inaccurate based on opposing independent studies that prove the exact opposite. Exact opposite as in Michael Kimmel. And...well...that's about it. If you want more sources for what TRPACC is talking about, start here with the Fiebert Bibliography. That should keep you busy for a while.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 02:47 PM
11

So, you don't like the results because they don't fit your sensibilities or cultural narrative, thus is is a bad study. Got it.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 02:18 PM
2

Hehe!...I suspect the further back you go, the saner it becomes. Some of the early thinkers had some pretty good thoughts on gender politics. I mean, Betty Friedan was a huge proponent of freedom of speech and openly criticized gender feminism and the radical elements that had insinuated themselves into the movement.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 06:26 PM
2

I ended up as Olympe de Gouges. I like it as I've always been a fan of the Enlightenment thinkers so this doesn't really surprise me that much.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 05:59 PM
9

That was totally cute. I admit, I was expecting a "gotcha" on that last panel. Was pleasantly surprised.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 03:41 PM
2

Thank you kindly. The feeling is mutual. There some very good people in this community, for sure.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 03:03 PM
3

I think using part of it as a grant to seed local groups/activism would be beneficial.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:55 PM
4

Honestly, don't rock the boat for your own sake. Get your grade and get out. There's a good chance this won't go well for you. I would hate to see you waste your money or have something even worse happen to you.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 05:57 AM
1

Well done. Well done, indeed.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:57 AM
4

Who is "you guys" precisely? Do you think there's an official MHRM dues-paying, card-carrying, designation or something? Also, I guess you haven't watched any of the videos from the ICMI yet. There were at least two father's groups that presented. And, ironically, one of the last comments in the last panel was a fellow from the NCFM who explicitly stated he wanted them to present at the next conference. So...well...there's that.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:55 AM
4

Of course. We don't have it all. And often times societal and authoritative power is used against us in particular, but men, just like any demographic group, have power in society.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:27 AM
5

Once the writer got past the obligatory ironic introduction, it got a bit better. On balance, not a bad piece. While not a glowing and enthusiastic endorsement of the MHRM I suspect there is enough there to drive curiosity and perhaps some interest.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:24 AM
3

No worries on the length. It was a very cogent and well-put read. :) Rather than turn this into a discussion of the semantics, I suppose I will just address this point: I perceive it as a example of how sexism is causing harm to both men and women because it includes a man being insulted for acting how he chooses to and the female-centric insults that are used to attack him; you perceive it as promoting a combative attitude because it chooses to include feminine terminology alongside an issue th…
/r/MensRights01/07/14 02:10 AM
8

The thing you want is to not live in fear. To paraphrase Ronald Reagan - "trust, but verify". If a girl says she's on the pill, ask to see her dispenser so you can make sure she didn't accidentally skip a dose (a common and honest mistake). If a girl wants to have sex with you, trust that she does, but ask to make sure and get a "yes" first. If you become emotionally vulnerable with a woman, trust that she has your best interests at heart, but verify that she doesn't have abusive or harmful pers…
/r/MensRights01/07/14 12:49 AM
6

Oh, yes. That does make sense. It's one of those things where there is merit to the idea that women have a certain inherent worth to society by virtue of being the ones carrying the babies. Men, on the other hand, only have value when they can "do". There are plenty of non-gendered slurs that mean about the same - "wuss", "wimp", "crybaby", "retard", etc. for example. So, anything that suggests a man is incapable, regardless of the semantics or origin of the term, has the same effect of undercut…
/r/MensRights01/07/14 12:35 AM
7

That we do no actual activism - see COTWA, FIRE, SAVE, Fathers4Justice, National Coalition of Free Men, etc. That we hate women - criticizing feminism is not anti-woman unless something thinks that feminism = woman (which it clearly is not). Many, perhaps most, MRAs have a pretty healthy relationship with women. A lot of support for father's rights comes from second wives - women that marry a man with an ex - not to mention that we have so many female MRAs. Those two come to mind, at least.
/r/MensRights01/07/14 12:24 AM
4

I guess it's a matter of perspective, unicorncuddles. I think the intent of the cartoon was commendable - let's take a more empathetic look at men's experiences and recognize their hardships too. I'll ascribe that to the author as a matter of good faith. However, the same point could have been made without using "girly" or "woman" and using "not manly" and "not a man". In fact, it would be more accurate. A man who has been subjected to that doesn't view it as "oh my gosh, I'm a woman!". He views…
/r/MensRights01/07/14 12:16 AM
5

Oh, I agree with the overall sentiment you've described - rigid definitions of gender harm both men and women and it's something we should all be more sensitive to as well as work to expand for everyone's sake. The cartoon sends a rather nuanced message that I don't agree with, however. My issue is with the implication that a weak man is being "like a woman" and implying that men suffer from this due to lack of respect for women. They could have made the exact same point if they used "not a man"…
/r/MensRights01/07/14 12:07 AM
1

Ah ha! That's where I saw it, thanks. Consider yourself cited. :)
/r/MensRights30/06/14 09:02 PM
2

Oh wow. I'm sorry to hear that she had to deal with that. Sounds to me like there's much more going on here than simply sexism. It may be hard to challenge her world view if she's let an issue like that affect her for so long. I hope she's gotten or is getting the help she needs. I would still suggest you put it in personal terms. Just gently remind her that you're a man too and let her draw her own conclusions.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:58 PM
3

Ok, I can understand that. In terms of a less optimum solution then honestly I am not sure. On the one hand, no, I don't think women should be included. As someone else pointed out, and I agree with, pushing more women into the military, potentially, without having equal access to combat positions just puts more men at risk. Invariably, should there be a draft, women would take up more support positions and that just puts more men disproportionately in harms way. On the other hand, in the absenc…
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:51 PM
13

She's really being sexist to everyone here - your sister included. If she won't recognize how discriminatory her comments about the roofer (or any other strange man, for that matter) are, perhaps she will at least realize that she's treating your sister like some wilting wallflower that is unable to take care of herself. From there, you can extend the conversation. I might suggest putting it in personal terms as well - "I'm a man too, mom. Do you think it's fair if I am treated like some horribl…
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:38 PM
0

I'll add that only sith speak in absolutes. But...I like being on the Dark Side. We have fun over here. There are cookies, kittens, and lots of bacon.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:27 PM
1

Fair enough. That does raise the underlying issue, really - is Selective Service itself a bad thing? I believe so, and many people agree and many others, perhaps, disagree. So, in a way, a consensus on this issue is required before any particular focus can even be considered.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:23 PM
1

Then we keep trying. I mean, what would you suggest? We do some activism, get no repeal, so then shift focus to forcing women to be included in an already flawed system? We haven't even made this a focus issue yet. Maybe we should start there and see where it goes. Forcing women to sign up for selective service may be "equal" but it's tantamount to campaigning for men to suffer more street harassment - spreading misery around doesn't make it go away.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:19 PM
7

There are a broad range of issues in the MHRM. I don't think any one particular issue is a "deal breaker", really. Everyone will have their priorities and disagreements. That being said, it's probably not productive to create wedge issues within our own movement. Not to mention I've honestly not seem much debate on the subject to suggest there is much of a divide at all.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 08:02 PM
1

A very nicely put and accurate reply, my friend! What's sad is that the opposition to the MHRM won't see our movement as an act of equality and love simply because they view our existence as a constant act of oppression. That's something that needs to change, I think. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to borrow your concept and use it in the future when this issue comes up.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:54 PM
1

I can understand your point, sure. I replied to Pope in a branch, but it's worth repeating: the law of unintended consequences is in effect here so taking the approach of exacerbating the problem in order to fix it could leave everyone screwed.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:43 PM
3

I suppose I have a hard time resolving the logical dissonance of having to exacerbate a problem in order to fix it. This is possibly a more practical solution since now you have the entire population with a vested interest rather than slightly less than half. That being said, the law of unintended consequences is always in effect. A contrarian approach could very easily backfire.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:39 PM
1

Excellent and accurate point. In a way, that almost proves a different point - if the MHRM were truly a misogynistic movement, would we not embrace that idea and strike out boldly rather than be reluctant to be falsely branded misogynists?
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:26 PM
1

I think a part of it is that for more radically-minded people, it's not "action" unless there are painted signs, chants, and hashtags involved.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:15 PM
1

I'm going to indirectly invoke Godwin here, but the article reminded me of Italy in the mid 20th century - Mussolini did make the trains run on time, after all. You're right - this is very manipulative presentation of the issues and removes a lot of context. NOW lobbying against equal parenting laws or pushing the Duluth Model, for example.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 07:06 PM
2

I might direct you to the final panel discussion of the Detroit ICMI conference in which several MRAs described their individual activism. There are also numerous Father's Rights groups that have been operating for quite some time, as well as the National Coalition of Free Men. Additionally, you might take a look at all of the Action Opps that are posted in /r/MRActivism as well a campaigns from CAFE, COTWA, and FIRE. And don't overlook the value of individual efforts either. Hell, I volunteer a…
/r/MensRights30/06/14 06:55 PM
7

While that applies to a lot of people here, it's not really the accurate depiction of the whole movement. There's plenty of anti-feminism rhetoric and criticism, no doubt, but the bottom line is addressing men's issues. That is something that doesn't really require much of an ideological basis beyond simple ideas of fairness and treating everyone as a person. That being said, it's a pretty common response from individuals when challenged. It's not uncommon to see something like this take place i…
/r/MensRights30/06/14 06:48 PM
23

This made the rounds the other day and there was plenty of discussion on it. I suppose the point is worth repeating, though. The sentiment is great - yes, there should be mutual understanding between the sexes and both men and women are hurt by sexism (using the proper concept of sexism, not the social-justice version which negates men as targets). By the same token, the undercurrent of making sexism towards men actually be an affront to women is an abhorrent cooption of the issue that is, ultim…
/r/MensRights30/06/14 06:30 PM
3

Has there been a concerted effort to try and make it go away? Seems to me that the MHRM and Libertarians are the largest of the few groups who take it seriously and outwardly oppose it. I've not found any news relating to protests, marches, or concerted letter writing campaigns to have it repealed - at least, nothing recently. My thinking is that if we're going to push for something, let's push for the optimum solution.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 05:57 PM
3

What's interesting is that almost all of these are indirect and unintended consequences. The article is trying to suggest that "feminism helps men too" which is not completely accurate.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 05:49 PM
1

Wait...that suggest that there must be some calamity to force one into moral advancement. Isn't this what we absolutely do not want for our children? I'm not so sure what you're suggesting refutes CameraLady's comment at all. We're in a post-modern world dealing with post-modern issues. Regardless, free time doesn't lead to bad thoughts inherently. I think that was her point.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 05:34 PM
4

I'm a fan of Strauss's work. Even though the moral argument for supporting male victims of IPV only requires a modicum of evidence that it exists ("Not even one" comes to mind) having an extensive library of studies helps move it into the urgent public policy category. Given the amount of substance being generated about this topic from multiple researchers, it makes puppets like Micheal Kimmel look like flat-earthers.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 04:53 PM
3

It seems like a fine line to me, actually. Your kid will be exposed to all kinds of ideas as she grows up - some will be good ones, others not so good. The best you can do is instill in her ideas of fairness, self-empowermentm self-responsibility, and intellectual honesty. Hopefully that will help her avoid the crazies in the movement. In the end, she may adopt the mantle of "feminist" anyway but that does not, necessarily, mean she will treat all men as inferior or as an inherent threat to her …
/r/MensRights30/06/14 04:44 PM
6

Just remember guys, this will apply to Vasagel or any other male-centric contraception. Anything that impedes access to contraceptives for women will, ultimately, have bad effects on men until we have something that allows men to have a suitable option.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 04:05 PM
25

I don't recall who said this originally in this sub, but I can't agree enough with the premise: "At the moment this is a problem just for men, let's not 'solve' it by making it a problem for everyone." - newSuperHuman I think the most rational approach would be discussing making Selective Service go away rather than focusing on making it equal.
/r/MensRights30/06/14 03:59 PM
6

You're not understanding what I'm saying. No life, no potential for anything, good or bad. Further, it is an essentialist position that assumes life is measured as an absolute value and that life is a constant with no possibility for change. If trauma were the sole measure of whether someone would live or die, we would not have survived as a species. Kavorkian logic. Lastly, you are conflating sexual assault with the finality of death - something every organism is designed to resist and is unive…
/r/MensRights29/06/14 05:31 PM
4

You're making a rather tired argument, here. It is, essentially the idea that life is only valid if it is a good life. Being "alive" is not a predicate. It is, rather, a baseline on which every other predicate depends.
/r/MensRights29/06/14 04:18 PM
8

Men are, of course, one huge cadre operating in synchronous agreement and each of us in responsible for the decisions of every other man. Damn...looks like she's on to us, fellas. Next time you hear that crap, challenge her to find a single female executive who does not have blood on her hands. Grab a beer or two while she does this; it'll take a while.
/r/MensRights29/06/14 04:09 PM
4

What's the context? There's no video of the conference yet so it's impossible to say.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 11:27 PM
2

If anything comes to me I'll absolutely let you know.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 09:17 PM
1

Yeah, I hadn't thought of the "Need an Ear" flair to be used for that until you mentioned it. I usually associate that with asking for advice as opposed to "listen to me". Maybe a clarification would help.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 08:10 PM
1

I was just thinking that the other day - maybe a "Vent" flair would go over well there?
/r/MensRights27/06/14 07:52 PM
1

I'm holding out hope indeed. It's hard not to get cynical, but history suggests there will be a backlash against even this reasonably styled type of program. Just the fuss over My Brother's Keeper is enough to illustrate that.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 06:23 PM
2

I would contend it's not just a gross generalization, but patently false. Anyone with a cat who takes a look at the picture of the ostensible injuries knows exactly what those are.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 06:04 PM
2

That's the problem with the too perfect narrative, yeah. It can't account for any reasonable variations from other perspectives so the details come out illogical, or at the very least, unlikely. The photo did it in for me, though - I've got nearly the exact same scratches on my arm from my girlfriend's cat. Fingernail scratches are half-moon shaped, not straight. And the pattern is nearly impossible to replicate. The marks form a box - perfect for 4 paws, but impossible for 5 fingers.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 05:54 PM
4

Just a more condescending way of saying "you".
/r/MensRights27/06/14 05:44 PM
2

I find this consistent with my views on the subject: college tribunals are not equipped to handle this issue. It's bad for everyone, victim and accused alike.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 05:36 PM
5

Are we stooping to XO Jane levels now?
/r/MensRights27/06/14 05:22 PM
20

I think there is, at the very least, anecdotal evidence for every one of these. A point by point analysis really isn't necessary. Honestly, though, the majority of those things are the way a person should be treated and really aren't "privileges". Even the outliers and more outrageous claims can be viewed in this light. For example: Women have the privilege of having their partner blamed if they murder their partner Duress and the circumstances of a relationship should be considered mitigating c…
/r/MensRights27/06/14 04:58 PM
2

You know someone somewhere will challenge with "well, did you read the article???". That's 10 minutes of my life I will never get back...sigh...
/r/MensRights27/06/14 04:41 PM
5

Dubious account at best. I'm no friend of the Red Pill ideology, but in this case it seems false. Putting it all together...the photo of the woman's arm which has no bruising and teardrop shaped scratches that are more consistent with playing with one's cat, the all too perfect narrative, the fact that it's XOJane, an Anonymous article, and on the eve of the Men's Conference in Detroit. Yeah...this is rubbish.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 04:35 PM
2

I sense a great disturbance in the Force...it is litigation teams from every chapter of NOW in the nation booking flights to North Carolina to lobby against this.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 05:15 AM
1

That's pretty cool. How long does the process take?
/r/MensRights27/06/14 03:34 AM
6

Just poking fun at Texas.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 02:41 AM
7

(Ie, women feminism) FTFY
/r/MensRights27/06/14 01:17 AM
15

Internalized misogyny strikes again! I mean...what other explanation could there possibly be???
/r/MensRights27/06/14 12:08 AM
15

This is pretty repulsive. Why am I not surprised it's in Texas?
/r/MensRights26/06/14 10:46 PM
2

Yeah. That leads to the false impression it's reversible which it clearly is not.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 10:08 PM
2

It's probably better than nothing, certainly. Though it falls well short of "revert to the natural form" I think (assuming BALROGG didn't mean "form" as simply cosmetic, in which case I misunderstood his comment).
/r/MensRights26/06/14 09:54 PM
2

First world women are opressed like I said in my example, by the fact a female CEO is considered a token. I hope you can see the poor logic here. What you're saying is that the CEO of a company is oppressed simply by being rare. I have to ask, and I'm honestly not being condescending when I do, but are you aware of what actual oppression looks like? You won't find it in the first world except very rarely. An actually oppressed group would not have a CEO. Apartheid in South Africa was oppression.…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 09:49 PM
3

Therein lies the root of the division and why the two movements are at times opposed. First I would point out that if you believe there is class-oppression, and that first world women are oppressed, I have to ask: by whom? It's rather difficult to hold the view that men don't oppress women yet also consider women to be oppressed as a class. If you're looking purely from a gender perspective, the two are in direct contradiction. Granted, there are other intersections where class oppression can be…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 09:12 PM
7

Those methods don't regenerate tissue. At best, they simply stretch whatever tissue is left. The nerve endings are gone forever.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 08:46 PM
3

I understand what you're trying to say. And, rather than simply dismissing you as a NAFALT claimer (Not All Feminists Are Like That) I'd like to ask you a question or two: Do you believe in privilege, patriarchy, class-oppression, rape culture, and toxic masculinity? Do you believe that men oppress women? Do you believe that women in the first world are still oppressed? And, for the purposes of these questions, I'm defining oppression as meaning actual oppression - as in a concerted effort to pr…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 08:38 PM
2

she cannot be trusted to distinguish reality from her own past trauma. I agree, and that's the important part. It's one thing to overreact to a potential abuse of one's child (I mean, that's quite understandable). But, it's quite another to start demonizing her husband as a rapist, derailing the investigation by focusing on her own issues, coaching the children to match her skewed view of events, and insisting even when presented clear and obvious evidence of no wrong-doing that her perspective …
/r/MensRights26/06/14 08:34 PM
5

If you think a particular point is invalid, why not argue against the validity of that point rather than painting a broad brush? You will actually be allowed to do that here, whereas in other circles you would be immediately banned and censored. If that's not a qualitative difference between the two movements, I don't know what is.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 07:37 PM
7

The part you're missing is that Silverman was affected by direct and overt attacks on the validity of his actual experiences as well as thwarted by society, government, and other social movements (to put it kindly) when he tried to do something about it. I hate to use the term but it applies here: he was, actually and literally, oppressed. I mean that as in there was a concerted effort against him. No one was out to get Rodger. He manufactured all of his dysfunction on his own.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 07:02 PM
14

To add to anonlymouse's post, there's also an argument from principle. You (and I) have had a part of our bodies removed and we've lived our lives without it. We don't notice it. By the same token, we have no idea what we're actually missing. There are a lot of nerve endings in the foreskin. Our sexual experiences may, and probably have, have been dramatically reduced as a result and it was done for no reason other than cosmetic ones. I mean, if you have daughters, would you have their labias cl…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:59 PM
16

I think anonlymous's point being that Israel Apartheid is an anti-Israel group and has nothing to do with gender politics. This seems like a decent article about the movement
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:27 PM
17

I invested some time watching this and it was awesome to see a guy get validation in the face of crazy accusations. But I have to say, the whole thing is pretty sad. No matter what happens, that family is ruined. And even though it's the woman's dysfunction doing it, those kids and their father have been put through a wringer for nothing.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 03:53 PM
3

Damn...that's powerful. Heartbreaking, endearing, and enraging all at once. Edit: Good luck, OP!
/r/MensRights26/06/14 07:35 AM
2

Oh...um...right! Coke! ...but Pepsi's ok too...
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:51 AM
9

It's not really a comparison to women. Rather, it's a lack of specific rights, policies and legal protections where men are discriminated. For example, men are about 50% of the victims of Intimate Partner Violence, yet they have access to less than 10% of the publicly funded resources (unless they are the aggressor, of course). We work to prevent erosion of Due Process rights for the accused which are often trampled by aggressive and unfair university policies which assume guilt because of an ac…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:47 AM
5

I usually don't push the Gender Swap stuff, but in this case it's just too hard to ignore. If that had been a 15 year-old boy instead of a girl, and a woman of any age, nothing would happen. Even if it was a teacher, we're looking at a couple of months probation, tops.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:39 AM
2

This seems to be it
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:26 AM
1

When a columnist suggests two drunk kids could be raping each other, it's heresy. This is but a "provocative question".
/r/MensRights26/06/14 04:20 AM
2

And that's a pretty good trick for someone that is on occasion quite solipsistic.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 03:27 AM
3

But...but...but...wings. Everyone likes wings.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 01:38 AM
6

All things being equal, yes. For the same work, hours, experience, education, value, etc. the wage should be the same. The same rules should apply for management granted raises as well where there is no negotiation from an employee for a higher wage. However, if said man negotiates a raise with his management and ends up making more, and said woman doesn't negotiate and makes less, I don't think that's inherently unfair. I have seen several programs advertised exclusively for women on assertiven…
/r/MensRights26/06/14 01:37 AM
1

That's interesting. Everything that goes before a judge is gender neutral. I suppose that goes out the window in the case of a live hearing, but I don't know how often it ever gets that far. This is certainly a ponderable idea.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 01:31 AM
4

No worries. AlphaWookie just posted another good link that I think you would find informative as well. Start there, and then we can discuss anything you still want to know or want clarified. We're not a homogeneous group so there may be multiple, sometimes opposing, answers, but the basic issues are things we generally agree on.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 01:11 AM
5

I'll be happy to reply, but a preliminary question: have you read the sidebar yet? That should answer quite a bit of what you're asking. We would, of course, be happy to answer more specific questions once you've done that.
/r/MensRights26/06/14 01:06 AM
2

That the best lead-in I've heard since "so...two nuns walk into a logging camp..."
/r/MensRights26/06/14 12:16 AM
1

Calvinball in a nutshell
/r/MensRights26/06/14 12:13 AM
8

Nice job man. Thanks!
/r/MensRights26/06/14 12:10 AM
1

I think this has become the Reddit equivalent of Calvinball...:)
/r/MensRights26/06/14 12:07 AM
1

Rats...totally telegraphed the celebratory check-raise-push. Need to be more subtle next time. ...flips suited 7-2...
/r/MensRights26/06/14 12:01 AM
1

I'm all in with a yippee.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:56 PM
1

Ah...good point. They have much more class than that. Doritos it is.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:55 PM
1

I haven't decided if that was an act of absolute PR brilliance or stupidity approaching an inanimate object. Maybe Horseshoe Theory applies here.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:54 PM
7

No outrage machine? Safe to say Valenti does not know Tumblr exists...
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:51 PM
2

I think it helps to do that, yeah. It's pretty easy to get bummed out with this stuff.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:47 PM
2

Sorry...hate to waste good coffee. :)
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:45 PM
12

Jabba the Futrelle wants them all to himself...
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:35 PM
5

I think they blew it all on hookers, coke, Cheetos and Red Bull already.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:33 PM
3

Awesome idea! "Why settle for a 6-pack when you can have a pony keg?"
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:17 PM
4

Dirty tactics in family court? Naaaa....never happens. /s I know your questions were mostly rhetorical, but honestly it would depressing to know the precise number. I think we can all agree on the fact that it is widespread and pervasive. What's tricky is figuring out a solution. How do we address this, precisely? What sorts of law are required? Even if we get default shared custody, this stuff will pop up. Preventing it is impossible. So, the real question is how do we mitigate it?
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:15 PM
2

I agree with you. Just saying, in this particular case, the public outcry and scrutiny might ensure there's not an obvious retribution against that sailor. Her stepping down would be ideal, you're right.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:10 PM
2

I know, right? Kittehs are the reason for the internet. Everyone knows that.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 11:08 PM
2

Damn those IT guys and their meddling firewalls.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 10:52 PM
3

I think this case will be under great media scrutiny from this point forward. That may mitigate any sort of vindictive ruling. At least, I hope it does.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 10:51 PM
2

I get that problem sometimes too when loading Facebook comments. If you launch the link into it's own window (without the Reddit frame) they usually show up for me. Maybe you can try that.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 10:42 PM
8

Eh...I thought the postponement was a good thing and worth a single-bang yay, at least. Good news is sometimes hard to come by. Whether the judge is sanctioned or not is a whole 'nother matter. For now, though, Hindes's life is a bit less stressful (as if being a submariner wasn't stressful enough).
/r/MensRights25/06/14 10:41 PM
1

Yay!
/r/MensRights25/06/14 10:04 PM
6

Another false conflation with Red Pill and mischaracterization of the MHRM. Nothing new to see in the article. Some of the comments were good, though. It's nice to see a fairly consistent reaction supporting the MHRM as opposed to the all too common singular defender.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 09:51 PM
2

Cool, thanks Erry. :) I found a couple of other interesting articles on this, some of which slightly contradict that Time article's presumptions, but still reach similar conclusions. Psychology Today This study, which uses a slightly different methodology
/r/MensRights25/06/14 09:41 PM
1

Oh, yeah. I can understand that. It's hurtful when you don't get validation from the people that are closest to you. Still, remember you can't control others. It's important that there be someone to listen to you and help you. If they can't or wont do that, you owe it to yourself to find someone who can and will.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 08:57 PM
2

Weird. Most reputable therapists wouldn't push you into something you weren't comfortable with like that. If you are inclined, maybe try resuming your therapy. That, with perhaps some medication to help with the depression and anxiety, can really increase quality of life (as you know given that some of your therapy was effective). Your therapist should work with you on treatment options. If you find someone pushing you into something you don't want to do, and they won't abide by your wishes, the…
/r/MensRights25/06/14 08:43 PM
2

Oh, meaning the irony generated by the "feminism helps men too" or "patriarchy hurts men too" catch phrases. This is, obviously, much more demonstrable a benefit. Interesting info on testosterone. I've not run into those ideas before. Have the citations handy? Would love to take a look see myself.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 08:39 PM
6

Oh so true. Conscious recognition really helps, doesn't it? Have you been in any sort of therapy and/or counseling? Given the history you've shared on this thread it seems you would be, but it's worth asking.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 08:34 PM
8

Don't let fear mongering affect you. There's no way you can control the actions of another person and being in any sort of relationship means being at risk. This is true for everyone. By the same token, the vast majority of women out there will not fuck you over. They might break your heart. They might treat you poorly. They might be the best thing that's ever happened to you. It's up to you to decide what you will tolerate and what you will not and up to you to determine with your own faculties…
/r/MensRights25/06/14 08:21 PM
5

No kidding, right? I would hazard a guess that alcohol plays a much greater role than a soccer game in whatever is going on there.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 07:37 PM
7

I had a similar thought - I wonder if this sort of study will be used to vilify or garner empathy for men's issues? I can all but guarantee that the gender political machine will use this, and any follow on studies, to just continue the "man bad, woman good" narrative instead of seeing how, ironically, helping men helps women too.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 07:01 PM
1

That 38% stat they cited seems a bit dubious. Per the link in the comments to the study that stat was retrieved from, it was a very small sample and just looked at DV rates for one police force in the northwest UK. Further, it has no breakdown by gender in terms of victim or offender so there's no way to determine that these were unilateral assaults against women.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 06:23 PM
2

Very nice post, man. Very nice, indeed. If you have an inclination, I would strongly recommend volunteering. It will change the way you see the homeless even more and might even change you (though you see like a very good person already). I've been doing that for maybe 7 months now or so, and have experienced a transition in attitude as well. Strangely, it's made me less sympathetic in some ways, and more sympathetic in others. , I don't have this sense of them being just "poor" anymore, and red…
/r/MensRights25/06/14 05:23 PM
3

just calling you out for your feigned outrage over the, "sickening narcissistic self-service" of identifying the gendered nature of this vitriol and the dichotomy between feminine and masculine traits. So, this is a call out? You assuming what my thoughts were? That's pretty arrogant, don't you think? You know zero about me so take your sanctimonious "call out" elsewhere. Let me tell you what was going through my mind. Here's this nice cartoon. "Hey, that's pretty cool" I thought as I read it. I…
/r/MensRights25/06/14 04:14 PM
2

Why did Ubisoft choose to use a female hostage in the stage demo? Couture explains that the developer wanted the audience to sympathize with the hostage and want to protect her. Yup...I see your point. This will probably piss everyone off.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 06:30 AM
6

I'm not familiar with these sorts of applications, but I have a suspicion that this might be common practice. Can anyone confirm?
/r/MensRights25/06/14 06:22 AM
8

A man's genitals are perceived to be the center of his masculinity, so having "no balls" just means "not a man" as opposed to "is a woman". As for pussy, it is just a term for something that's soft. Pussy willow, pussy foot, pussy cat, and...well...pussy....(because soft, dammit). It's not strictly a term for "vagina" though the connotation has evolved to squeeze out other meanings these days. Being soft is not manly, so...again, "not a man".
/r/MensRights25/06/14 05:43 AM
1

Maybe we can just call a tyrant a tyrant and an asshole an asshole instead. This fits my sensibilities. I think I will keep it.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 05:32 AM
3

You must cut down the largest Alpha in r/TRP with....a herring!
/r/MensRights25/06/14 04:54 AM
9

Very Dalek...I like it.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 04:11 AM
0

Dammit Alison...now I'm logic bound to agree with #BanBossy since you've just associated it with tyrants and assholes. ...hangs head...
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:50 AM
1

Side note: that's a lotta loony alliteration right there. Good show.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:43 AM
9

That's a good question. Those words just describe traits, not a gender. If you consider the esteem that society holds for an average woman, compared to a "failed" man, there's where I make my comparison. The language is a bit of a red herring and, honestly, I don't think it means what many feminists think it does when those terms are used. This would be an interesting experiment, if you took an obviously down-and-out man, a homeless person for example, and put them next to a normal garden variet…
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:36 AM
1

Ah, good plan! Give me a minute to get my frame up. .... Is it working? No? Dammit...
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:11 AM
1

You missed the point. The generalization about a "woman's psychology" is not cool. Just chop that part out and call it good.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:02 AM
3

He could have stopped a paragraph earlier and it would all be good, but nope.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 03:00 AM
3

In addition, thank you for providing TheRedPill theorists with further evidence to support their arguments about a woman's psychology. I'm sure you will continue to be successful... Just...no. Keep that shit out of here.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 02:54 AM
1

oh...right...shhhhhh
/r/MensRights25/06/14 02:51 AM
10

"So you think society respects women more when they act like men?" The implications abound when you consider #BanBossy don't they?
/r/MensRights25/06/14 02:47 AM
6

I don't know if this is any good or not (marketing isn't my thing), but these came to me. "I am not invincible...I am a man". "I am not a monster...I am a man". "I am not a predator...I am a man". "I am not fearless...I am a man". Basically just the format "I am not :stereotype:...I am a man".
/r/MensRights25/06/14 01:01 AM
37

No, not even close. A man that has had his masculinity undermined, is not seen as a woman by society. He's seen as simply nothing. A non-person. I can appreciate the attempt at empathy and mutual understanding, but that part is just sickening narcissistic self-service.
/r/MensRights25/06/14 12:36 AM
1

So, what'e the over/under on this getting included in an article on Jezebel? 2 days, maybe?
/r/MensRights24/06/14 11:46 PM
3

C'mon man...
/r/MensRights24/06/14 11:32 PM
2

This person has never read Calvin and Hobbes. I only object to this term when used describing men, not boys. Little kids are going to do all kinds of things that are inappropriate and out of bounds. Boys just tend to have more energy when they do them.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 10:57 PM
8

Oh, one of those conversations. Some people like to confuse "rant" with "talking", I guess. I would hazard a guess that the more reasoned and level you were, the more incensed she became. We shall dub her St (insert name here) of the Immaculate Conniption. :)
/r/MensRights24/06/14 09:48 PM
18

Dismissed as being "altered in the head" for disagreement? Cant say as I am surprised. This doesn't sound like a person you would want to be around anyway.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 09:18 PM
3

There are legitimate uses for the term, but more often than not "objectification" just means "thought crime".
/r/MensRights24/06/14 06:55 PM
6

The anti-phallic sentiments are strong with this one. Granted, I never quite understood gun culture even though I grew up in the south and have owned firearms in the past. One thing I do know - if you find a culture that seems to prioritize a thing over a women, it only has meaning when you assume that women are actually that important. I mean, does this make sense? "My gym shorts, YES. My dog, MAYBE. My guns, NEVER"
/r/MensRights24/06/14 06:07 PM
4

That is a nice article. Though it needed a Trigger Warning for Michael Kimmel....barf...
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:52 PM
4

This is an excellent post.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:32 PM
5

Dude...enough with the misleading bullshit.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:29 PM
1

Sure thing.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:10 PM
1

Oh...sorry. Duh...I didn't bother to compare user names. My bad. As for the legit crazies - it's more a case of which is the set and which is the subset. A eugenics supporter is, almost by definition, a radical feminist simply because..well...that's a pretty damn radical overhaul of the social system. However, not all radical feminists are eugenics supporters so that's not a defining characteristic.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 03:51 PM
2

I meant this point: A "radical feminist" is all for the death of males... Anyway, yes you're correct. It's a difference in how they seek to achieve their goals.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 03:36 PM
1

The opposing viewpoint is liberal feminism which holds the view that change is possible within the current system. So, it's not a measure of extremism, but of how change should happen. So, it's really unrelated to your point, strictly speaking. It's quite possible to have a radical feminist who is sympathetic to men's issues as well as a liberal feminist who is strongly misandric. Though the term "radfem" is usually associated with people who hold extreme views, it's not an extreme view by itsel…
/r/MensRights24/06/14 03:20 PM
6

Radical just means that their vision of progress can't occur without revolutionary change to social, economic, and political systems.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 02:38 PM
2

That article has absolutely nothing to do with your post's title.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:55 AM
1

Exactly! A hypothetical situation works just as well. As I recall the whole idea of developing moral reasoning is based on being faced with challenging questions like that. Maybe that's the kind of thing that has to happen more often.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:44 AM
2

Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to talk about this and listening to what I had to say.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 03:11 AM
10

So, because more women die or are seriously injured we should completely ignore the men who are at risk for the same thing? Do you want to live in a society where the slogan "Not even one" can be applied to women, yet any number of men can be severely harmed or even killed and it's deemed as a non-issue? Is that just and fair in your opinion? A victim is a victim. We should be helping victims who need it, don't you think?
/r/MensRights24/06/14 02:35 AM
2

I've stared at this for the last 5 minutes and I do not grok. Help a brother out here.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 02:29 AM
13

I was going to dismiss your comment at first, but I think an actual response is in order because it's apparent you simply don't know and I'm assuming you're here in good faith. Why the Christ would a man need a domestic violence shelter? For the same reasons a woman would. I sincerely hope you have never experienced, and never will experience, what it's like. I thought I was impervious to this too until I spent 5 days barricaded in a spare bedroom because my ex girlfriend threatened to kill me i…
/r/MensRights24/06/14 01:01 AM
3

I was thinking the same thing. Reacting to a guy who steps on your shoe in that manner speaks more, perhaps, to one's attitude towards other men than towards women.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 11:58 PM
3

This is just my honest opinion - but if you have a relationship that is that important, keep the politics out of it. You don't need to see eye to eye in order to keep and maintain this obviously important friendship. The MHRM doesn't have to be a 24/7 commitment. You're allowed to take a break now and again. :)
/r/MensRights23/06/14 11:57 PM
2

I fail to see how another male-safe space can be a bad thing. Even /r/feminismformen has a community with some agreeable and supportive ideas. Is there something specific we should be aware of, besides the mod's outward distaste for AVfM?
/r/MensRights23/06/14 11:54 PM
2

With regards to your girlfriend's family, I think abit sexist against both if you, really. Your girlfriend's family treats you (jokingly) like a predator or loser-in-waiting and your girlfriend like she's some wilting flower unable to take care of herself and has to be watched over. Your family seems, at least from what you've described, to be a bit more fair about it. Telling you you are lucky to have such a nice girl I see as being more of a compliment to her than a knock against you. To pull …
/r/MensRights23/06/14 10:54 PM
3

Well put. Much more precise.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 10:43 PM
22

Love the priorities here. Black men are incarcerated at hugely disproportionate rates with economic duress and poor education being a huge contributing cause. Somehow, that's not sufficient justification for a program that addresses some of those causes, though. It's got to revolve around women's issues. Absolutely disgusting.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 10:16 PM
9

It's pretty obvious, yeah. The ol' hypo/hyper agent stuff can be seen all over the place.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 09:33 PM
1

That is spot on. When there's no avenue for actual help, repression and denial can look pretty inviting.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 08:11 PM
15

Well put.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 08:08 PM
2

That was an interesting, and possibly an intentionally very cool, move by the JP and the Prosecution in that case getting the fines increased (as absurd as that sounds) so it could enter the appellate process. Neat case. Thanks for sharing that.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 06:51 PM
20

Honestly, I've found the best way to approach these things is to start with the issues and then lead in to the movement. Talk to her about bodily autonomy for little boys. Discuss the fact that men are routinely denied access to Domestic Violence shelters (you don't necessarily even need stats showing gender symmetry to make a care for this). Speak about how accused men still deserve the right to a fair and unbiased proceeding. Talk about men's mental health, suicide, homelessness, and addiction…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 05:34 PM
1

True. 'Nuff said right there.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 04:46 PM
4

Such a weird world where a man can be considered paternally liable for a sperm donation that wasn't done under precise circumstances, yet two entirely willing and capable biological parents are put in danger of having their paternal claims revoked.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 04:43 PM
40

However, according to a report in Bhaskar, the centre is not able to carry out its agenda efficiently as men in the state are now increasingly making calls to the counsellors claiming to be the aggrieved party. It's bad enough these men are being denied services, but it seems they are unapologetically being considered nuisances and there is a sense of almost disbelief they are being sincere. How dare these men ruin the efficiency of this service by...asking for access to the service.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 04:14 PM
4

Ah, thanks for the explanation. It seems like the circumstances of this case are extraordinary. I never thought for one second that an actual biological parent would be denied such a thing at all, let alone explicitly by law. I don't think of myself as being particularly naive or overly idealistic, but this I found to be shocking.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 03:45 PM
6

In before "if you swap the genders..."
/r/MensRights23/06/14 12:34 PM
22

This is outrageous. If the Supreme Court can strike down prohibitions against interracial marriages based on Full Faith and Credit, why has prohibition against same sex marriage not been challenged in the same way yet? Is it simply too new a concept?
/r/MensRights23/06/14 11:11 AM
4

No worries on the length. Everyone needs a good ramble now and then. :) Perhaps some perspective is in order. If you were talking about women's rights or a women's rights movement that did not have the qualities of class-oppression, patriarchy, privilege, rape culture, toxic masculinity, and a bunch of other rubbish, it might work. The thing is Feminism has a bit of a monopoly on the women's rights thing at the moment and it's not going anywhere. Further, no matter what it purports, Men's issues…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 10:57 AM
3

I think an egalitarian approach, while seeming ideal, won't really work. First off you have different problems for each gender. By virtue of this, the causes, and thus the cures, will not coincide. So, a one-size-fits-all approach, even if there wouldn't be any inherent conflict of interest won't be terribly effective. It would dilute resources and invariably lead to prioritization of some sort that will marginalize someone somehow. Secondly, unlike, for example, environmentalism where there is …
/r/MensRights23/06/14 10:06 AM
5

Honestly, the terms "ideology" and "MHRM" don't really go well together. There's no codified ideology here. Well, unless you count the Enlightenment ideals of natural rights, equal protection under the law, Due Process, etc. I've found it's much easier to think of the MHRM as an amalgam of issues. Specific discriminatory policies and law (or lack thereof) that have a common denominator of primarily or exclusively affecting men. Granted, there are some social ideas that smell a bit like ideology …
/r/MensRights23/06/14 09:31 AM
3

And now for the Airing of Grievances... This might take a while.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 09:26 AM
3

As far as I know (and I could be wrong) he didn't particularly. And even if he did, what was wrong with that? Explain yourself. This was supported by both an AVfM article as well as, IIRC, a YouTube video of a Google Hangout. As for why it's bad - this sort of brigading tactic is unethical and is advocating a denial of service attack on a public service. I don't agree with how Occidental approached the issue, but that is not how one refutes it. It could very easily have violated the Computer Fra…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 09:22 AM
1

That's been some of my experiences as well. Worked construction in Arizona and a lot of the guys I worked with were illegals. These guys were under considerable pressure to keep working well into the day (and roofing in AZ after 2:00 in the summer can be very hazardous) as well as picking up side work after hours, weekends, etc. Language wasn't too much of a problem (most signs were bilingual) but you're spot on about being put on the more dangerous jobs and being in a position where they can't …
/r/MensRights23/06/14 08:12 AM
1

Any solution for workplace fatalities would need to incorporate some immigration reform as well. 60% of workplace deaths happen to immigrant labor, much of which is illegal, and is often the result of lack of reporting to OSHA due to potential deportation. Pretty good AFL-CIO report on this
/r/MensRights23/06/14 08:02 AM
1

I can certainly appreciate you being sensitive and fair-minded enough to consider this offensive, but as a beard-wearing MRA I thought it was mostly harmless. I mean, sure, it speaks to double standards and certainly promotes stereotypes of what men should be, but from what I could tell this was just a soccer (football) site and rather low on the totem pole of cultural influence. Honestly, we get far worse sexism from "official" sources. Like university officials suggesting that being falsely ac…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 07:17 AM
1

Ah, ok. I think there's some info for that on the sidebar. There was also a great recent post by Pierce Harlan (/u/pierceharlan) with a few quotes from just this year that would make for a good addition to something like that.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 07:04 AM
2

I think memory is a part of it. The rest of it is how men process emotions and stress. We tend to repress and compartmentalize rather than retain details so it makes sense for that lifetime rate to be lower for men. It's sort of an extension of that classic trope - a couple is fighting and the woman brings up something from years before that the man has completely forgotten about, even if the event was stressful to him as well.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 06:55 AM
8

I like this, Erry. A lot. The implications for this span quite a few issues - not just in terms of addiction, but also men's mental health, homelessness, the empathy gap, suicide rates, and probably even extending into divorce rates and family law bias. Social support is sadly lacking for a lot of men, and we see the sometimes tragic results of this almost daily. The vast majority of the men at the shelter where I volunteer have no family, few friends (besides other homeless), and an obvious lac…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 06:37 AM
1

I am also critical of Elam's rhetoric and feel that it does more harm than good. Nor am I fond of some of the tactics he's encouraged (e.g. DoS/Spam attacks of the Occidental anonymous rape reporting system). He certainly comes off as an asshole at times and that's not always a good thing, especially since our exposure is starting to hit the undecided middle - those people who are curious about the MHRM but not yet dedicated to the cause. However, I cannot fault his dedication or apparent work e…
/r/MensRights23/06/14 06:24 AM
1

Awesome! Thanks so much for sharing that! I'm on mobile right now so haven't read it, but I suspect this is exactly the thing we were talking about.
/r/MensRights23/06/14 12:03 AM
6

Trad-con trash. Is mutual respect and engagement really that much to ask?
/r/MensRights22/06/14 09:31 PM
13

I'll take Self-Entitled for 1000 please, Alex...
/r/MensRights22/06/14 09:13 PM
1

Oh. Seems to me it's already covered. If being unable to manage sexual frustration to the point one acts out on it isn't a sure sign of poor mental health, I'm not sure what is.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 08:44 PM
2

Are you speaking literally or sarcastically? I'm not sure and want to understand your point.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 08:27 PM
2

What's the application for this? Depending on what you're trying to do, less controversial quotes in context might be more effective.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 07:47 PM
1

Cool. Please let us know how it goes.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:53 AM
2

You might find resources on "The Warrior Gene" to be interesting. It doesn't necessarily provide an evolutionary reason for it to exist, but it sounds like this is what you're talking about.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:41 AM
1

In other words, you got nothin'. I love winning.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:10 AM
1

Well chris, I can't tell you how to spend your money, but I do have to question what this will actually do. Seems to me that we're better served by references in publications, media coverage, and really the "publicity" that is pushed our way because of criticism (ye oile Streisand Effect). Just since I've been here we've added over 10k subscribers. That's not too bad. Anyway, if you think it's a good investment and will help the cause, go for it. If you can demonstrate some ROI for it, I'd be ha…
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:09 AM
1

You need but refute what I said. Please feel free.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:02 AM
2

There are lots of weird cases, absolutely. I've read plenty of articles that correlated spikes in domestic violence with economic downturns, the death of a child, divorced parents, and even having a pet (which seems to suggest less occurrence of DV). Not that these create a cause-effect relationship, of course. But like you said, there are several other triggering mechanisms for it and it's not so cut and dried. Though, I believe that some inherent emotional problems and family backgrounds are c…
/r/MensRights22/06/14 12:00 AM
1

No, I read your sub and can think critically.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:50 PM
2

You have a deal. :)
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:46 PM
1

Indeed it is. The Law of Unintended Consequences is always in play.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:44 PM
2

I agree whole-heartedly! If it was possible to quantifiably measure just emotional abuse against men, I suspect the numbers would be sickening.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:28 PM
2

I have to give mad props to TRP for this. Their ability to codify the obvious is truly astounding.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:15 PM
2

Ah, gotcha. Yeah, arbitrary enforcement of standards is frustrating. If it was not a big deal yesterday, why am I being crucified for the same thing today? It sucks navigating this stuff, but we all have to do it. Just please protect yourself, OP. 15 years on a job is a pretty big accomplishment in this day and age.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:09 PM
3

Oh...maladaptive in this context simply being "a bad way of handling a situation" and not adaptation in a Darwinian sense. That is, low self-worth is often associated with domestic violence victimization because a victim frequently perceives this as how they are "supposed" to be treated. That tends to quell dissonance. In terms of attraction, often times it is self-selecting. You know the trope - woman goes out with "bad" boy, feels attraction because some of his behavior triggers emotional fami…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 11:04 PM
2

Honestly, there are several levels. Recruiting the vulnerable. Typical referrals to TRP go out to guys that are expressing frustration or are socially awkward. This sort of indoctrination is almost identical to how cults operate - find someone in need, give them the answer, and exploit them (because, let's face it - the gurus and alphas in TRP get off on the status and ego-stroking). False empowerment. The idea that there is some program they can follow to achieve their goals, and that program i…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 10:43 PM
2

Given that much time spent there, were you not aware of the culture you were working in? I mean, I get what you're saying in that it's rather unfair to have a reference to having your genitals mutilated be ok, but a backhanded reference to masturbation become an issue. But honestly, I apparently made some bad assumptions about your working environment (I was thinking break room at a restaurant and a group of teens or 20-something, or something like that, and not an office environment). Seems lik…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 10:02 PM
7

Naaaa. Honestly, most of the pathology surrounding people who tend to get involved in abusive relationships centers around ideas of low self-worth and/or emotional familiarity. There are always exceptions, of course, but this isn't an evolutionary thing as much as it is a maladaptive thing.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:56 PM
4

Why oh why did I look that one up? For anyone curious, it's apparently pictures of women looking bored or appearing condescending while "listening to men".
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:53 PM
6

Yeah, depending on the culture of where one works, being informal, vulgar, or overly familiar can be a huge no-no. A conversation that's completely fine over beers in a pub can be wildly inappropriate in a professional setting. I've learned this lesson the hard way many times in my life. Usually over ridiculous things (I would never have a conversation like the OPs personally, but then I don't know what his company is like). I was once called out by management for sending the following message t…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:47 PM
3

Oh, gotcha. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. This is an unfortunate truth about the modern workplace - sensitivity abounds. I recall getting in trouble over something similar. It was the mid-90's and i was working for MicroAge (a rather large technology company at the time) and I was complaining about one of the consultants who was working on our project was being "cocky". A few hours later I'm called to the HR office and told that my "phallic reference" offended someone who wasn't even a part of the c…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:40 PM
3

I think this is one of those cases where you are certainly valid in feeling violated and pressured yet no crime occurred. If this bothers you, please take it seriously and get some help.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:33 PM
2

Sorry, I'm not following your story here. Can you clarify, please? I'd like to understand what you're saying here. There was you, a male coworker, and two female coworkers. That's 4 people. But in your closing sentence you stated this: Guess who gets in trouble? I'll give you a hint: Its not the guy that acknowledged and joked about unequal treatment of male workers (1). Not the guy that joked about cutting off my penis(2). And, not the two ladies that laughed at the mention of my genital being …
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:26 PM
0

You're correct. Movement is a poor choice of terms. Cult is probably more appropriate.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 09:05 PM
1

I can understand your point. I object to TRP's mechanisms more than anything. They tend to be a bit predatory and suck in the vulnerable and socially awkward (or the successful who are immediately granted elevated status). Like any sub-culture, there is an imperative to propagate the culture itself. TRP recruiting tactics rely on the perception of the environment being skewed against men. That's, literally, the foundation of the whole community. What will be interesting to see is, if the MHRM ma…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 08:49 PM
3

From what I understand, at its core, red pill is basically accepting the reality of the world as it is (as they see it) and working to maximize your opportunities for success (usually measured in sex) within that world. Your comment spurred a question that I think is worth asking - if we are seeking a progressive solution to men's issues, what value is there in accommodating a movement based on the status quo? The conflict of interest is obvious in my mind, at least.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 08:27 PM
2

The Red Pill at least partially informs the philosophy of the MRM. You can't completely separate the two. Wait...what? You have the effect in complete reverse. TRP takes the issues we want to address - bias in family courts, erosion of due process in accusations, feminism's opposition to men's rights (which is then conflated to mean "all women") - and turn them into scare tactics. If the MHRM actually achieves its goals, there would be no reason for TRP to even exist.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 08:20 PM
2

Yeah, that site is really great. I've always thought that personal accounts and narratives are one of the best resources for us. Putting flesh, blood and bone to the issues helps to break through that Empathy Gap. And by the way, the support page is looking great. Well done!
/r/MensRights21/06/14 08:11 PM
17

I think you're spot on to be offended. And really, maybe even a bit scared. An attitude like that is a sure-fire way to shut down an avenue of support if you ever needed it. Sometimes things like this need a bit of perspective. I'm not defending her attitude, but honestly, one of the biggest hurdles we have is simply getting people to understand the personal nature of a man's experience. So many people don't "get it" until it comes home to roost. It's not until their son, father, uncle, boyfrien…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 07:54 PM
3

Sorry it took a bit to get to this. As for what I do personally, it's not too much different than what a feminist might do - when you see it, challenge it. Sometimes I do this in conversation. Sometimes by validating a person who mentions it. Sometimes by confronting the person who said it. A lot depends on the social context. I do my fair share of self-reflection and challenge my attitudes as well. For example, my Super-Smart Feminist Girlfriendtm resists the fact that I like to "take over" cer…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 07:44 PM
8

I dislike TRP for a number of reasons, primarily in that it puts men into a victim mindset and establishes a man's worth only in relation to women. Also, the false dichotomy of "alpha" and "beta" just serves to prey on the socially awkward, and allow the "alphas" to get an ego boost out of their presumed superiority. As for hating it - that seems extreme. Critical of it when the subject comes up, certainly. But I can't, as an MRA, say with any conviction that if a man wants to go MGTOW, drop a c…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 07:19 PM
2

Eh...if these were Op-Ed pieces, I could understand being wary of the content. The facts alone are enough to prove the point - the safety and well-being of imprisoned men are not a priority to our government. Especially in light of how toothless the PREA actually is.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 06:41 PM
1

That's a pretty sad notion. The idea that proxy violence is actually advocated by the state is rather disheartening.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 06:35 PM
3

You are a fucking child who doesn't actually have the courage of his convictions. You pretend to believe in a whole lot of things, but when something gets your back up, you throw it all out and start scream 'Exterminate the brutes!'. Is a personal attack really the best you can do? I'm disappointed. Your first paragraph almost looked like a reasoned, albeit impassioned, argument. I can only assume that, for you, "courage of convictions" means "absolutist". Life is seldom black and white. I've be…
/r/MensRights21/06/14 06:31 PM
1

I have no idea why you're suddenly thread stalking me, but my inbox was full of your poorly framed and illogical comments today. So, I'll type this slowly so you can keep up since you missed the point of virtually everything I commented on... I don't give a shit what party it was - Democrat, Libertarian, Republican, Green, Tea, Tory, Whig, or Birthday - the fact remains that there are governors in the U.S. who are opting not to comply with the PREA. So, unless you can factually demonstrate that …
/r/MensRights21/06/14 06:01 PM
1

Oh, it means Intimate Partner Violence.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 04:56 PM
1

What's sad is that you know there's some yahoo somewhere that will conflate individual experience with some collectivist notion, view men as the universally dominant gender that runs the world, see this, and assume that men's issues are all self-inflicted and thus not worthy of attention.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 01:01 AM
2

I understand the case you're trying to make, though I think swapping genders is only illustrative up to a point. This is an extraordinary set of circumstances.
/r/MensRights21/06/14 12:16 AM
4

So, you basically have two extreme things going on. Are you attempting to paint the guy in this scenario as a victim in some way? Honestly, given the extreme emotions such a thing would inspire in anyone, male or female, I'm giving this woman a pass. I can't condone what she did, but I sure as hell understand it and can't condemn her for it either. That's their kid we're talking about. You don't fuck around with people's emotions when the emotional stakes are that high.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 11:46 PM
3

I agree with this. I recall seeing a comment on a FB screencap someone posted here once that said (paraphrasing) "if men want access to domestic violence shelters, then men can pay for them". That, I think, is a good demonstration of what you're talking abut. - that a social issue is genderized when it should, in terms of policy and law, not be. The further irony being, of course, that publicly-funded resources are already paid for in part by men by virtue of being part of the tax base. This is,…
/r/MensRights20/06/14 11:38 PM
11

Thanks, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to NOW's official opposition. /u/SarcasticCock nailed the crux of it. The street feminist can be as reasonable and egalitarian and fair-minded as one could hope, but the power structures that drive opposition to actual fairness are solidly against it. I'd love to see a moderate movement rise up in Feminism to combat this sort of thing. So, we shall accept this perspective and I hope you'll take back with you this simple message: If you actually want…
/r/MensRights20/06/14 11:31 PM
14

This is a perfect segue into the discussion blueoak and I were having about abolishing women's prisons. I mean...all this woman needs is some social support, compassion, and understanding. Prison is far to harsh. It's not like she victimized a person or something like that.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 10:29 PM
7

Meme overload.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 09:44 PM
1

Understandable, yeah. If this were more controversial I would probably dive in for the free trial and get the rest. The abstract, in contrast to the theory, was enough to paint it as absurd.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 09:42 PM
1

Did you, by chance, get the full text of the article?
/r/MensRights20/06/14 09:32 PM
4

Ah, that is a much clearer picture. Thanks for that.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 09:16 PM
2

If Servant Leadership is so abhorrent, what is the alternative then? Soul-Crushing Dictator? Selfish Oligarch? Greedy Tyrant? I whole-heartedly agree with your thesis, OP. Every example of good management theory I know boils down to "help your subordinates do their job" - basically that management provides resources and forms essential bonds with subordinates by engaging in the actual work.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 09:10 PM
3

I'm not going to deny that black men aren't at a huge disadvantage and suffer routine discrimination. By the same token, though, I'm a proponent of self-determination. If the "in" group says it's ok, and I'm not a part of that group, then I really have no place speaking for them. If that's what they want to do, go for it. Edit: it's worth noting that I see this as an intrusive action by an "out" group.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 08:41 PM
8

I didn't have a problem with the initial letter provided by the 200 men to which this program was available. Now I have a problem. Christ...can't men, especially black men, have something all to themselves? Isn't being excluded from huge chunks of social programs already enough justification to have something separate and dedicated to the boys and men that need it?
/r/MensRights20/06/14 08:22 PM
2

It's interesting to see the nose-dive taken for some fields during the 80's and early 90's. Rather counterintuitive considering that was the rise of modern Conservatism. Though it did mark the start of 3rd Wave Feminism as well.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 07:31 PM
6

Yeah, I've seen that idea of removing criminal punishment for women and opting for "rehabilitation" thrown about a few times. On the one hand, applying that to more incarcerated men and women could be beneficial to society as a whole. The benefits might be arguable to some, but in many cases it may be a better solution. Alternative sentencing usually has good results on reducing recidivism. On the other, though, the fact that it requires inhumane treatment of women to draw attention to the probl…
/r/MensRights20/06/14 07:25 PM
2

In other words...we're going to fail because we haven't taken the Red Pill and recognize those eveeeel wimmins as our natural born enemies. This is just a different flavor of pandering and if anything will make sure our cause fails. Like it or not, we need women willing to tackle the issues with us in order to make our movement work.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 06:38 PM
5

Exactly! Sometimes I don't even bother to argue the stats when I discuss male victims of IPV, for example. It's easy enough to justify action just by pointing out that 1) it exists and 2) there's no recourse for a man when it happens. "One is too many" should apply to men as well. If someone can't get that far in their thinking, they're probably a lost cause.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 06:29 PM
8

Ah, nice. Thanks for sharing that.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 05:45 PM
51

We hear this sort of thing often... "False accusation rates are less than 5%" "Men aren't half the victims of IPV" "Men being raped by women is so rare" Basically, any response like this is basically the argument that A > B, therefore, B does not exist. Frustrating, I know.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 05:33 PM
11

Yeah, the PREA is rather weak as it stands now. It certainly needs more teeth if this issue is ever going to be addressed. Also, I fixed the link. Had a typo in there so should work now.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 05:19 PM
29

Here are a couple: Huff Po MSNBC PNS
/r/MensRights20/06/14 05:05 PM
6

From my perspective, the only way male privilege can exist is at the disadvantage of any other gender and the female sex The whole idea of privilege in the context you're using it assumes there's no objective standard of treatment and everything is in relation to others. In fact, there is an objective standard - all the principles of the Enlightenment are at play here. There are many bills of rights around the world and, in some cases, men are denied those rights. The idea that others are denied…
/r/MensRights20/06/14 04:58 PM
7

Honest question here, ed - how do we do that without co-opting the social movements of others?
/r/MensRights20/06/14 04:34 PM
8

That is a very good point.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 04:31 PM
10

And male privilege is also entirely unrelated to injustice any other group might experience. The point of the OP being the irony of the over/misuse of the term "privilege" to somehow paint men's issues as being irrelevant because we have so many other advantages.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 04:30 PM
1

Honestly, I would have been fine with it, until the parent of a 16 year-old chimed in at the bottom. That suggested to me there's no minimum age of applicability. A parent has an obligation to intercede in their children's lives at times until they reach an age where they can make truly informed choices and understand the consequences of their actions. Maybe I'm ageist, but I would think the same way if the shirt was about a 16 year-old boy as well.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:57 PM
85

What's even worse - in some states, efforts to stop prison sexual assault are being explicitly hindered or outright prevented. 7 GOP Governors refuse to comply with the Prison Rape Elimination Act Edit: fixed the link
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:34 PM
4

I heartily agree with this.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:18 PM
6

I don't quite see your point. Consider the issues we address and talk about - in nearly all cases it is about rights. A right to bodily autonomy. A right to equal access to public services. A right to Due Process. A right to equal treatment before the law. There aren't really any issues we have that don't have legal and policy remedies, so...Men's Rights is the correct and accurate depiction. Any other objection is really just marketing.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:08 PM
3

Indeed it is. I'm feeling a bit lazy, but should be easy enough to Google for the info, otherwise I can post links tomorrow when I'm not so tired. Granted, they're also used for burn treatments and a few other medically useful applications, as well as a source of stem cells. Edit: One of my older bookmarks
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:54 AM
6

In contrast to the male foreskin which is routinely sold for thousands of dollars per, the profit for which is retained by the hospital, and is used for such crucial social concerns like...cosmetics.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 03:43 AM
1

Oh, lord no. r/MensRights seldom, if ever, removes comments and only removes obvious troll posts usually. Freedom from censorship is a big deal in our community. I was speaking about the comments section on the MS Magazine article.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 12:34 AM
0

At that point, yup!
/r/MensRights19/06/14 10:21 PM
3

Wait...what? What's so difficult about balancing the emerging need for independence for a child against protecting said child from the potential excesses of their own behavior? My daughter turned 15 and started dating, she got on birth control. We or her date's parents would drive them to where they wanted to go. Had a set pick-up time and a curfew. When she was old enough to have boyfriends that drove or drive herself, we got his phone number, his parent's phone numbers, knew where they were go…
/r/MensRights19/06/14 06:08 PM
5

I have to give 4chan props for their uncanny ability to make everyone look like an asshole.
/r/MensRights19/06/14 05:19 PM
7

The violence is unfortunate, but this is just a case of two ideologically repugnant groups colliding.
/r/MensRights19/06/14 05:05 PM
4

MS Magazine, a dissenting point of view, intern writer, etc. I'm happy it's up, don't get me wrong, but considering the typical moderation policies for those spaces, I'm rather (pleasantly) surprised.
/r/MensRights19/06/14 02:10 PM
1

That's what prompted the idea, yeah. I mean, if one is concerned about battery life enough to tell the driver their lights are on, why not add something like this?
/r/MensRights19/06/14 02:07 PM
3

Why not have an alarm installed in newer model cars that can alert the driver that the rear seatbelt is extended when they shut off the engine?
/r/MensRights19/06/14 01:48 PM
3

Thanks. I wonder if there will be any rebuttal.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 11:34 PM
2

Thanks for the heads up. I'm rather surprised they left it up. studies done into under reporting show that the number one reason, by a large margin, women are reluctant to report assault is the belief that police don't take rape seriously, and that the conviction rate is just 6% - two utter falsehoods disseminated by feminists. That's a great point and a perfect example of a backfire in approach. I think we'll see the same thing happening as men reject the routine demonization of their masculini…
/r/MensRights18/06/14 11:32 PM
20

Should be interesting to see if my comment makes it past moderation. Your comment is awaiting moderation. “These lawsuits are an incredible display of entitlement…” Can’t argue there. All citizens are entitled to whatever legal recourse is available. Would Prof. Heldman prefer that the system not be challenged and examined and that people not be allowed to protect themselves from potential abuses by authority? Perhaps, following her logic, we should scrap the appellate system because lower court…
/r/MensRights18/06/14 09:51 PM
2

The whole "boo hoo, poor men thing" was really over the line and what drove me to write this post. This implies much bigger things than I think she realized at the time. Yeah, I thought that was rather shocking as well. I'm currently dating a Super-Smart Feminist<sup>TM</sup> and even though we've disagreed on gender issues neither of us has deprecated the experiences of the other gender. Not even once. To do so with such obvious contempt is just unfathomable to me.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 09:18 PM
1

Since when does being fair mean we should all be treated equally bad?
/r/MensRights18/06/14 09:00 PM
5

Hmmm...I'm just going to say this. Don't, for one tiny second, think that her views about men won't include you eventually. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 08:46 PM
2

Yeah, the gender reversal would be a shit storm, no doubt. Of particular note, though, I'm not sure what I think of this article. A part of me is thinking it's a tad shaming. Yes, little boys have a penis and it's a pretty cool thing. Touching it feels good, it can stretch and grow, you pee out of it. This all seems pretty normal to me and she seems a bit mocking about it. At the same time, we're talking about little kids and they aren't really treated with the same deference one would treat an …
/r/MensRights18/06/14 08:19 PM
1

Options for what, exactly? Maybe it's just my perspective but I would rather be alone than be utterly surrounded by unhealthy people. Just be patient. Whatever you want - whether it's a friend or a life-long partner - will certainly manifest itself in opportunities along the way. Just try not to get into a negative frame of mind or you'll miss chances to meet good people.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 06:42 PM
3

Why angry? When I was dating, stuff like that was a relief! It made it so much easier to separate people that I wanted to spend time with from those I didn't. I mean, to be fair, she has every right to address how she wants to date however she wants to. However, the fact that her approach smacks of dysfunction means you saved many hours of conversation, driving, and a fair amount of money before finding out the inevitable - she's not right for you and isn't all that emotionally healthy. The grea…
/r/MensRights18/06/14 06:29 PM
8

I prefer the term "sightless" you ableist shitlord!
/r/MensRights18/06/14 06:15 PM
1

Ah, yeah. Age and maturity could be a factor. Still, though, it's one thing to be safe (meet in a public place during the day for example) and quite another to be overly concerned with something that is a huge rarity. Maybe she's this way as the result of either an unfortunate personal experience she's not dealt with yet or hysteria. In either case, it pretty much tells me she won't be an ideal partner regardless.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 06:06 PM
7

Eh...anyone who goes to that length to avoid contact while, simultaneously, engaging on a dating site is a special kind of damaged. She did you a favor by responding that openly about it (and at least she admitted it was her fear so that's kind of a plus these days). I know there are plenty of nice, normal, secure women around that behave like adults and not frightened children that are far more worthy of your time.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 05:52 PM
4

Ah...good point. I held back on that one a bit, admittedly.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 05:47 PM
39

Yup...this confirms it. All children need to be removed from the mother's custody for their own safety. Such a tragic example of systematic child abuse and misandry that only widespread efforts at curbing access to children by mothers will have a hope of stopping it. I mean, let's say you have a bowl of M&Ms... Edit: /s in case you're wondering
/r/MensRights18/06/14 05:26 PM
2

Some context, please?
/r/MensRights17/06/14 08:48 PM
33

I'm reminded of a friend of mine. She has a (now 12 year-old) son that she absolutely decided would be raised without any violent influences. She kept an eye on what TV shows he watched, wouldn't expose him to ideas like hunting (his father hunts, but moved all his firearms to their cabin when the kid was born and they had a firm agreement he wouldn't talk about it until their son was a teenager), supervised all his play dates, no gun-like or military toys. I'm talking full on uber pacifistic, n…
/r/MensRights17/06/14 08:17 PM
4

Yeah, I think that's a pretty good sub and worth reading from time to time. The moderation policies shift around a good bit, but they do seem to be dedicated to creating a fair and balanced environment where both sides can discuss issues with each other without it becoming one huge flame space. I consider the place as a work in progress with good intentions and aspirations and hope it's successful.
/r/MensRights17/06/14 07:17 PM
3

I think there's some merit to the title idea you've presented. Admittedly, we are sometimes our own worst enemy (just as women are, at times, their own as well).
/r/MensRights17/06/14 06:25 PM
2

Yes, much better to shut down dialog completely because someone disagrees with the rhetoric and/or ideas being presented. Why, I can hear the birds singing, feel the sun shining warm on my face and the massive weight of repression being lifted just thinking about it.
/r/MensRights17/06/14 06:22 PM
6

Shhh...we don't talk about 47 Beta.
/r/MensRights17/06/14 05:12 PM
22

PUAs? Damn. I thought we teamed up with 4chan for that. Or maybe it was the Illuminati? Aw hell...I can't keep these damn conspiracies straight any more.
/r/MensRights17/06/14 02:33 PM
10

Interesting. If advocating for these issues means women won't respect my point of view, it doesn't say much for women now does it? Domestic Violence inclusion Educational disadvantages towards boys and young men Men's mental health Homelessness, workplace safety, labor trafficking, upholding Due Process, family law reform, and other policy issues. Balancing reproductive rights Protecting boys' rights to bodily autonomy Recognizing male victims of violence and sexual predation (by any gender) Of …
/r/MensRights17/06/14 01:13 AM
1

I have no idea what you're trying to say here, Sam. It seems like you're disappointed in the PUA approach so are now looking towards another wave of feminism to solve your social woes?
/r/MensRights16/06/14 10:57 PM
8

I've already preempted this point - the conference team will, assuredly, ensure that attendees get value from attendance. Precluding attendance to someone won't help us any, but escorting someone out of the conference after they've made a big public ass of themselves and prevented a speaker from addressing the conference will. Allowing these people to get in poses a serious security risk to the attendants. How do you know who "these people" will even be? Check Reddit user history when they regis…
/r/MensRights16/06/14 09:37 PM
8

I don't see how taking the high road, especially when it's in the public eye, can be a bad thing. If they come and disrupt the conference, we have another UoT talking point and I'm sure the conference team will still make sure attendees get value from attendance. If they don't, well...that's just as good. We have a clear opportunity to present issues to any attending media and the word will disseminate. In fact, it may work in our overall favor is there's some sort of fuss. If they take extreme …
/r/MensRights16/06/14 08:45 PM
6

The lack of self-awareness these groups possess is astounding.
/r/MensRights16/06/14 05:43 PM
3

From my perspective, my top 3 would be (in no particular order): Domestic Violence (and associated issues), men's mental health, and criminal court bias. Really, though, 3 is too few. but if I had to pick, there they are.
/r/MensRights16/06/14 05:38 PM
2

If you want something that establishes the difference, I would suggest the sidebar list of issues. The distinct lack of reference to getting laid might be sufficient for some to recognize the difference.
/r/MensRights16/06/14 04:04 PM
10

She's upset over just one awards show? Apparently she's never watched the View with anything even approaching a critical eye.
/r/MensRights16/06/14 03:27 PM
1

That...that's a thing of beauty. Something to aspire to.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 08:10 PM
6

I love that idea. The Golden Fedora Award. :)
/r/MensRights15/06/14 06:43 PM
10

Thanks. Not trying to be an asshole just that we get trolled so much by stories like this.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 06:06 PM
4

I know. I think it would be awesome if she actually did that. A satirical vote of solidarity with the stereotype would be hysterical.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 06:04 PM
5

I triple-dog extra special dare her to do that in her next vid.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 05:58 PM
26

As a first post from a new account with an all too perfect story of feminist hypocrisy, I'm gonna be that guy. Screencaps of the FB conversation please. And don't forget to block out names.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 05:36 PM
6

What misconceptions and how do we clear them up? Honestly, in the last few weeks we've seen what, close to a dozen or so "I had no idea what the MHRM was about and have been surprised since visiting this sub" sorts of posts. I'd say we just keep on keeping on. Those that want to know will find out the truth. Those that don't never will.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 04:57 PM
19

Outstanding. I dub thee Evil Patriarchal Shitlady. Wear it with pride, Karen, you've earned it.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 04:54 PM
1

Ah...well, that actually helps me feel a little better. Partizanship I can wrap my head around. Backhandedly legitimizing TRP though?....shudder...
/r/MensRights15/06/14 04:05 PM
1

Er...damn... I got nothin'.
/r/MensRights15/06/14 06:32 AM
8

My standards have slipped to the point where seeing an ad that doesn't imply that even consensual sex is rape almost seems refreshing.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 09:37 PM
1

Damn, sorry to heat that. There's the usual prohibition about giving legal advice in play, so you may not get any specific advice here. But, is there any way you could contact the agency conducting the review and get a postponement until you can consult your attorney?
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:57 PM
1

I guess I would take the medical analogy a step further - the cure may or may not be in addressing private sphere issues, but the symptoms are, in some ways literally, killing people. Much like a fever from an infection is what ultimately causes the damage. Antibiotics is the ultimate "cure" but along the way it takes an ice bath or anti-pyretics to save the patient. So, I tend to think in terms of public sphere approaches simply because they are more immediate and measurable. Not to mention the…
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:52 PM
1

Glad to help. Don't forget to let us know what city you live in. There are lawyers prowling this site, as well as potential recommendations for resources. I write him emails to an account I made for him that he will eventually have access to. This...this is fucking brilliant. I really love that idea!
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:32 PM
1

Do you have an attorney?
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:24 PM
27

This is a reason I will NEVER identify as a feminist. They ignore the social issues affecting males That's it in a nutshell right there. This sub is full of former feminists, many of which have been pushed from their own movement by an almost irrational reaction to the very mention of men having issues that require attention. I'm sure it was a frustrating experience, but sadly, you're not alone. Welcome to the sub.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:22 PM
1

Wow. That's a powerful story. I'm really sorry you've had to go through all of that. Best advice I can give you right now is to please take care of yourself. That little man needs a healthy, well-functioning, and happy father. At this point, that's the best gift you can give him once this all gets sorted out. I know there are a few legal firms around that have sliding scales and might even do pro bono work for father's separated from their kids. One is in San Diego and the other is, if I recall …
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:17 PM
4

Heh...seems our posts crossed on the wire. I think we can call that confirmed. :)
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:09 PM
5

Great book. Oddly enough, during his AMA a month ago or so, I asked him about those early years. It seems he was making more money working for NOW than he did after moving to D.C. I think that interesting, as well as very complimentary of Dr Farrell.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:08 PM
1

There are lines to be drawn and compromises to be struck, absolutely. My point in that statement, though, is that given all of the interests involved in LPS, the one with the least agency, power, and arguably greatest importance is the child. Remember that all the men we advocate for were boys at some point in time. Does it really behoove our movement to possibly adversely affect the next generation of men to come along? Consequently, the gap has to be filled from somewhere. Ideally, the State w…
/r/MensRights14/06/14 08:04 PM
1

That makes no sense, sillymod. In advocating any position there's implication for the lives of others. Whether it's circumcision, DV shelters, family courts, etc. there will be affects on others. Does not supporting LPS also "dictate" how others will spend their lives? Namely and especially the resulting child? Do you think it matters one whit to that little boy that his dad isn't around because he opted to not be a parent or because the little boy's mother refused visitation and participation? …
/r/MensRights14/06/14 07:55 PM
1

I'm pretty sure that was a nod to Johnathan Swift.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 07:18 PM
7

Sounds a bit like Warren Farrell, with the exception of the rich part, perhaps.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 05:52 PM
1

Oh! Sorry, I didn't make that very clear. I meant the people you were talking to were being nonsensical.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 05:59 AM
1

I find it best not to try and make sense of nonsense.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 05:26 AM
3

TIL: my opinion is the equivalent of dictating how the world works. Who knew?
/r/MensRights14/06/14 04:48 AM
5

Been there and done that already.
/r/MensRights14/06/14 01:21 AM
0

Anytime there is a need for for LPS its because pregnancy is intentional, coerced in some way, or the result of fraud. Because condoms never fail, people never do stupid things, and women always remember to take their birth control pills. Gotcha. It's issues like this where I pray for Vasagel to be as good as promised and available soon. Once men have more options, the occasionally contentious nature of reproduction will, hopefully, become rare.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 11:59 PM
3

Do you mean paternity testing in cases of child support/visitation where the couple is not married? I think making it mandatory would have a good, albeit perhaps unintended, effect of taking some of the adversarial nature of those kinds of cases away. It's not uncommon for a paternity test to be perceived as an insult to the mother - implying she had been unfaithful or promiscuous. Nothing breeds resentment between a couple that's, more than likely, already contentious than some perceived slight…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 11:55 PM
1

By definition, there is a child involved. Otherwise, what, exactly, is one surrendering their rights to? Though I understand your point if I wiggle it about a bit, I think you're talking about an outlier case where pregnancy is intentional, coerced in some way, or the result of fraud. Most of the time it's in cases of unintentional/accidental pregnancy where LPS would be invoked. I know it's a crazy notion, but every so often, a man and a woman can have a non-adversarial relationship where unint…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 11:43 PM
1

I appreciate the kind words and understanding my position on that article. I think intersectional feminism is a step in the right direction. Kyriarchy is a slightly better expression of power dynamics than pure patriarchy, IMHO. Though, to be honest, I'm not that collectivist minded so anything class based seems over simplified (and for an object-oriented programmer, that's kinda funny to say ;) RE: patriarchy. Ironically, I suppose I've been fighting patriarchy for a while now, given your crite…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 11:31 PM
9

Perhaps LPS? Admittedly, men have suck (read: no) reproductive rights. However, I'm not so sure that legal parental surrender is a very good stance to take. A child's welfare truly does need to be the priority. Honestly, though, I can't say with any conviction that I"m against it entirely either. I feel for the guys who have been coerced into parental responsibility while they had no say in the reproductive outcome (beyond initially having sex which is not coupled with consent to parenthood). So…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 11:17 PM
1

Fair enough. Thanks for clarifying.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 09:27 PM
1

Excellent! Glad to hear you've got a safe place to be. That's super important.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 09:18 PM
2

Great story and good for her, but what's the men's rights angle?
/r/MensRights13/06/14 09:01 PM
1

I'm not so sure it's an issue, really. It would be one thing if the insurance rates were based on gender alone. But my understanding is that insurance rates are based on actuarial analysis so they reflect trends and are more fact based. I'm happy to be corrected if that's not how the system works, though.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 06:56 PM
3

even though it's a lie to say that most women will be able to perform 100% to level a man could each month. Honestly, I don't think this is true. Of all the women I've worked with, hired, managed, or known enough to make an informed opinion about, it varies by a large margin. Those that are good workers work regardless of their periods or whatever discomfort they have. Those that are slackers slack regardless of the time of the month. The bottom line is performance on the job - if a woman can't …
/r/MensRights13/06/14 05:34 PM
5

I don't think it's particularly fair to pay a woman less just because she menstruates. There is far too much variance in how a particular woman handles her period and how it affects her. I know some women have particularly horrible periods, yet they still get up, go to work, get the job done. Others have less severe periods, yet slack and don't accomplish much. So, paying a person less because something can happen is, to me, silly. If productivity drops off, regardless of reason, then it shouldn…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 04:15 PM
1

If someone self-identifies as a "feminist" what else would you call them? As for using "feminazi", t's a pejorative term I avoid using.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:42 PM
2

Exactly! It's not like our feelings or thoughts are considered valid. Mother knows best, of course.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:37 PM
1

Not yet, no. Last I heard they were still in primate trials. As for an equivalent, I can't say. That's intriguing, though, so I might try to track that down today.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:33 PM
1

Thank you kindly.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:31 PM
2

I agree. Although, admittedly, she's just a very unhealthy person overall. Still, if someone's politics impedes raising a child with respect and love, there's something seriously wrong with their politics.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:30 PM
1

I guess my point is that at some point, he may grow out of it so, you stop. Simple. And interestingly enough, my daughter was about 4 the first time she put her little fists on her hips, looked me straight in the eye, and proclaimed "It's MY life!" because she didn't want a bath. Every kid is different, but some are more independent than others and it's certainly possible for them to have their own opinions.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:21 PM
1

Yeah, I was just musing a bit. I'm closer to my father and an MRA. You to your mother and a feminist. A little conversational speculation is all. :) So, what's next for you? Still at your brother's (IIRC)?
/r/MensRights13/06/14 05:27 AM
33

I don't see a problem with it inherently. The bottom line is that when you compliment someone, it should be in a manner that makes them feel good. If the kid objects to it, don't call him that. If he doesn't, go for it.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 05:09 AM
1

Hehe...it's sort of strange. I had the exact opposite relationship with my parents. My mother was a very abusive woman, but my dad was the nurturing one and I'm a lot closer to him. I wonder how much that has affected our respective political ideas? Letting people in is hard! Even now, at 45, it's a bit scary. Those self-doubts run around in your head. So much of it has to do with self-worth, I've found. The more you value yourself, the easier it is to let others really see you. High school is t…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 05:01 AM
1

It is tough to open up absolutely, even when you know it's something that's good for you. I guess we're socialized that way. I remember the ol' stuff from my mom..."if you're going to cry I'm going to give you a reason to cry!". Men are often raised in invalidating environments. I lost count of the number of times I've heard "man up", "be a man", "grow a pair", etc. and that was before I even started high school. When I read your other post, that's what popped into my head straight off (dont' kn…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 04:45 AM
1

In your OP you mentioned wanting to have an open discussion, and I figured since you've just been though this scary event I sort of thought you had something in mind. If not, that's ok. If you haven't considered therapy, I'd strongly recommend it. I went through a couple of very abusive relationships in my life, and I tell ya, they can leave a mark. Both literally and figuratively - every day I'm reminded of it since I've got a deep scar on my cheek that my ex-fiance gave me about 20 years ago. …
/r/MensRights13/06/14 04:32 AM
2

Honestly, I didn't think you were a fool. You can feel or think whatever you want and that's ok. I will point out, however, that your experiences are valid. Every bit as valid as anyone else's. There's no need to compare or deprecate what you've gone through in any way. You may have felt compelled to compare your experiences to being not as bad as a woman's, but really there's no need to put it on a scale. It was a bad place to be for you and that fact is all that matters. Have you considered ge…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 04:18 AM
2

Not really. Even if the fetus were an actual person granted citizenhood and everything, the same idea applies. The state can't coerce you to give up control of your body even if it's to save another's life. It's rather harsh, I know, but truly that's the heart of the issue. Oh, and happy cake day!
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:51 AM
10

::yawn::...another marginal comic engaged in misrepresentation.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:02 AM
1

I think there is an objective standard. In this case, the 14th Amendment and right to bodily autonomy. Then again, maybe I've read too much Locke.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 03:00 AM
1

Great info! Thanks for sharing that.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 02:58 AM
8

I had an abusive 2nd Wave feminist mother. I grew up regularly hearing "all men are pigs", "you're just a male", "the world would be better with no men in it", and other delightful messages. Good therapy, learning to separate a sick person's actions from what they represent, and many years passing have all helped me be a lot more objective about things so it's all pretty much good now.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 02:56 AM
3

If you compare men to women, then your point stands and I agree. I was speaking more in terms of comparing women to an objective standard of fairness.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 02:46 AM
1

I can appreciate your perspective on that article, but I think we're coming to it from very drastically different experience sets. For example, this comment from the article: If you are a man, you are part of rape culture. I know ... that sounds rough. You're not a rapist, necessarily. But you do perpetuate the attitudes and behaviors commonly referred to as rape culture. Men are the primary agents and sustainers of rape culture. Coupled with my own experiences of being victimized at the hands o…
/r/MensRights13/06/14 02:36 AM
2

Oh god. Poor dude would get more Greek letters than a Trig class. They would absolutely crucify him.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 01:34 AM
5

When I say "soft" issues, I mean cultural and societal things - like media representation, demonizing masculinity, etc. If we ever do it like feminism does, I'll be right behind you on the way out. But, I think moving the idea of being a "man" to be whatever a man wants to be isn't a bad idea.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 01:20 AM
8

I'm sorry you got some shitty PMs. That was not right in any way shape or form. And I'm very sorry you had to deal with that situation. I can empathize as I'm a DV survivor and I can tell you that size does not matter one bit. That being said, I think you're being a little disingenuous here. The top comment in the MR thread was very supportive. Most of the top level comments were supportive as well. Many of the crappy ones were downvoted. I think the community here was, largely, supportive. I'm …
/r/MensRights13/06/14 12:52 AM
5

I can understand your point. I suppose I was reading the OP's question as more of a comparison between what is and what should be than men and women. The lack of any sort of reproductive rights for men is undeniable.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 12:29 AM
3

Dean did pretty good in that. I especially liked it when the male host got the female host riled up when he said Dean "might have a point".
/r/MensRights13/06/14 12:07 AM
1

List style works for me. And by the by I'm enjoying the discussion. Thanks for that. Okay, here's where I start to take serious issue. Fighting patriarchy will help relieve men of some of the mental baggage which causes them to see such messaging as slanderous when it is no such thing. I, a total not-rapist, can read these messages and think in hypothetical terms about the safety concerns of a stranger who is deciding to what extent to trust me, without taking it personally or getting defensive.…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 11:10 PM
6

Most Some of the stuff on that list was pretty good so it's hard to disagree with that. Most of it sucked, though. Just for once, though, wouldn't it be nice if men were able to exist for one single day without having to always accommodate feminism's ideas about what a man should be in some way? I mean, one tiny day where a dad, in whatever form he chooses to take from the most traditional stereotype imaginable to the Good Man Project wet dream, is appreciated for just being him. Edit: upon furt…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 09:47 PM
2

I think the issue is fairly simple, really, and you've painted it very well. Per your tattoo and court examples, those are examples of behavior that is considered extreme, but allowable under certain circumstances. Consequently, it's up to the people involved to ensure that the person making that decision is competent enough to know how extreme the act really is. As it pertains to MacKinnon and her ilk - they view sexuality as being an extreme thing to do, so obviously, one's competence is calle…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 09:39 PM
2

The world's a strange place. Oh lordy it is. Personally, I think Vasagel will be revolutionary if it is at all effective. I'm talking revolutionary in the same way the pill was in the 70's. Much of the conflict between the genders over reproductive rights will be ameliorated once men have better solutions available to them. Like you said, surgery, bubble wrap, or abstinence are not great choices.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 09:19 PM
2

Help a man? Are you serious? That would imply men are, y'know, worth the time and effort to reform or something ridiculous like that. Treating a man like a human being with feelings and all that is just...just...absurd.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 09:12 PM
6

Casey Anthony flashbacks. Dear god, I can still hear that dreadful Nancy Grace..."taht mom"...
/r/MensRights12/06/14 09:07 PM
1

I think we've found our "we can retire now" idea. :)
/r/MensRights12/06/14 08:57 PM
2

I don't disagree with anything you've stated really. Just, at a meta level, there doesn't need to be a comparison. Lack of reproductive rights for men is undeniable, but that's a separate issue. A more comparable men's issue would really be circumcision, I think, since both choice and anti-MGM ideas stem from a belief in bodily autonomy.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 08:54 PM
3

I think the point of that slogan is to try and break the stereotype of a feminist being a mullet-wearing lesbian in a wife-beater tee shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals. The idea being that anyone can be a feminist (well...unless you're a male, Though "This is what a second-class ally looks like" doesn't have the same ring to it). Of course it doesn't help when there are photos with that tag of a mullet-wearing lesbian in cargo shorts, a wife-beater tee shirt, and sandals.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 08:10 PM
13

I don't think a comparison is necessary for it to be an area of legal disadvantage for women.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 07:54 PM
22

To your comments: I agree with this. I've long supported the idea that the MHRM is more or less attacking the same level of issues as the 1st and 2nd waves of Feminism. We haven't moved into the "soft" issues really because there are actual legal and policy problems to address. To your question: I think the one place where there's a legal disadvantage is in erosion of rights to choice. States are continuing to erode the Roe decision by placing unnecessary controls and restrictions to birth contr…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 07:41 PM
11

Eh...it's just a phrase signifying solidarity as a couple and a comedy bit poking fun at it. It's not something I'm tempted to get riled up about.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 07:34 PM
2

Considering that around 70% of divorces are instigated by the wife, one has to wonder exactly where the personal responsibility lies. Is there some expectation that, child care aside, a woman can sever the marriage at will and be carried by her ex-husband's income? Dual income families are not only possible, they're nearly the majority. And what about single mothers? Are they doing the impossible by raising children effectively while working? In a perfect world - split the property, split the de…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 07:29 PM
1

Ok, granted. I'll accept, temporarily, that The Patriarchy exists and is as feminism defines it. Now the actual question, what do we, as Men's Rights Activists do about it? What does fighting The Patriarchy even entail? Honestly, you can change all of the social norms to be perfect, but that still doesn't help men. Such an approach, assuming there was an actual path to that change, would take generations. Frankly, many men can't wait that long. For many, their lives are screwed up right now. Fig…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 02:43 PM
1

What's sad is you put a lot of work into a troll post that will be removed within the hour. I'd give this a 8/10 by virtue of the tinfoil bonus.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 05:27 AM
7

I've felt that way, sure. Though, never to the degree you seem to be feeling it (at least, not with relation to the MHRM). Honestly, it sounds more like depression than being let down politically. Have you considered seeing a therapist or counselor? You alluded to stuff from when you were a child (and not trying to pry) but if something bad happened to you, seeking out professional help to deal with it is a wonderful thing to do for yourself. Please, take care of yourself, OP. You deserve it.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 04:57 AM
1

We're almost on the same page except for this. Honestly, I still think that men's lot is better objectively speaking. Comparisons are just pointless. Like you said, putting on the empathy cap and trying to imagine the life of another person doesn't require some sort of introspection or comparison on how good one has it. So, that's really my core stance on this - privilege is really a wasted concept. I'd rather talk about getting more beds for my shelter, opposing Conservative pressures to underm…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 04:46 AM
2

That article has made the rounds already, but your title makes your intentions unclear. Could you clarify why you posted this, OP?
/r/MensRights12/06/14 04:18 AM
2

It's not unreasonable or crazy to discuss it, no. I'm curious though, what actually makes you think that the gender system privileges men overall? And "overall" is the important bit. The last several comments on this thread were specifically looking at the apex fallacy and the silly notion that the top represents the whole. I've yet to see a list of male "privileges" that go beyond the way a human being should be treated. Call it naive if you want, but I believe there is a minimum standard of tr…
/r/MensRights12/06/14 04:03 AM
0

Ahh...you. I see what you did there.
/r/MensRights12/06/14 03:33 AM
1

Your troll attempt would have worked so much better if you hadn't included that article. Next time, don't put up some obvious rubbish. 4/10.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 10:14 PM
8

I can't speak directly to your specific concern, but as a parent with a grown child I can tell you this much. You're going to do things that you regret. We all do. Every parent has to make the best decision they can make with the information available. No one was there to tell you the ramifications of circumcision or the effect it would have on your child. You did what you thought you should or have been raised to think you should. I can't really fault you in any way here. I feel pretty confiden…
/r/MensRights11/06/14 09:47 PM
2

Damn...that's an interesting and good point. I have no idea. One would think if his actions were worthy of police involvement the school administration was determined to see it through.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 08:38 PM
1

Ideally, sure. I tend to assume that someone who is unreasonable to start with won't suddenly become reasonable when faced with authority, at least not at first.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 08:20 PM
2

Very well put.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 08:06 PM
14

Maybe I'll get mine at my divorce hearing along with the spousal support payment coupon book. A guy can hope, you know?
/r/MensRights11/06/14 07:56 PM
1

And thank you for the kind words, interesting question, and willingness to listen. I think you hit the nail squarely on the head when you mentioned empathy. If the MHRM has anything close to a concept of the root cause of the issues we address it's something we call the Empathy Gap. I think the world would be a much better place if men were treated with more empathy and women with more respect.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 07:44 PM
3

Thank you kindly. And I agree, there seem to be a lot of parallels with the gay rights movement. Much of what we strive for is, I think, just a normalization of role and making it "ok" to be a man, however men choose to express that.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 07:16 PM
26

Honestly, I don't think it would look much different than now for most people in the 1st World. Folks will get married, raise children, go to work, earn their living, retire, etc. Life will go on. What we would hope to see, however, is in those cases where life goes wrong, men are treated with dignity and respect. When a marriage breaks down, both the father and the mother are mutual caretakers of their children together. Financial arrangements are equitable and favor personal responsibility. A …
/r/MensRights11/06/14 06:56 PM
3

Nice work, AW. Please keep us posted if you hear anything more and I'll try contacting them after work as well.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 06:22 PM
3

Damn, that sucks. I would still look into making a separate police complaint, especially if any harassing encounter occurred outside of a school related environment (i.e. not at the bus stop, on the bus, at a ball game, in class, etc). Assuming, of course, that she continues to be aggressive. Just whatever you do, do NOT respond with any aggression of your own - neither verbal or especially physical. That can flip on you very very fast and, not only is it a questionable thing to do, you will end…
/r/MensRights11/06/14 06:02 PM
5

Agreed. Maybe we could entice them to New Orleans if Detroit doesn't pan out. Wishful thinking on my part, though.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:40 PM
21

At least Linus Torvalds is a good Patriarch...well, except that he gave Linux away to everyone and didn't make women pay for it. I guess being an Evil Shitlord isn't all it's cracked up to be.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:37 PM
1

Yeah, the douche reference I never quite understood. I mean, how on earth did that term ever come to have that meaning?
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:35 PM
6

Me too. That's the only concept of "privilege" I'll accept - he's still around and is a vital part of my life.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:33 PM
2

I suppose that's true. Pejoratives about a woman's physique tend towards the bovine in my neck of the woods, but I have heard that reference as well.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:32 PM
6

It appears that Dean Esmay was in the comments of that article and it seems he affirmed the cancellation. I'm sure AVfM will have a press release confirming or denying the story today.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 05:01 PM
5

Damn. Sorry to hear that.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 04:47 PM
3

Recording is a good idea, but I'd avoid doing it at school. You might recall the case a month or so ago where that boy recorded all those girls harassing him with his iPad and was subsequently arrested because he did it at school where there is a higher expectation and standard of privacy. Edit: Found it
/r/MensRights11/06/14 04:42 PM
16

Suck situation and I'm sure you feel rather helpless and let down by the inaction of your school authorities. Unfortunately, we're all responsible for establishing and maintaining our own boundaries. You're not going to be able to make her stop. Controlling other people just isn't something we can do without going way over the line and resorting to coercion of some sort. And rest assured, if she pushes you to that point she'll win. It's not fair, but that's sort of how it is. So, at this junctur…
/r/MensRights11/06/14 04:37 PM
82

No doubt. The apex fallacy is alive and well, sadly. I mean, I must have emailed Warren Buffet a dozen times in the last 5 years and I've still not gotten my "Evil Overlord of the Patriarchy" membership check. What's up with that?
/r/MensRights11/06/14 04:14 PM
39

Dammit OP...that bit made me get all choked up. Great commercial.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 03:49 PM
9

Great list. To add: neckbeard wimp pig pussy beta anything fedora related
/r/MensRights11/06/14 03:45 PM
217

For some, it has to do with the fact that men are perceived as being at the top of the proverbial heap in social, economic, and political power so how could we possibly have any issues worth addressing? Anyway, welcome. Feel free to jump into discussion. Looking forward to hearing from you.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 03:03 PM
1

Oh, I'm aware of that. I'd love to visit Spain, Ireland, and a host of other places. Just a bit of a joke, but with a point - Belgium is not doing itself any favors by making these sorts of inhospitable laws that could be taken to extremes. Imagine being the first guy who tried to use broken French to order a coffee and ended up saying something offensive on accident?
/r/MensRights11/06/14 02:27 PM
3

Waffle Houses are worth it, for sure, even if you have to be in Gulfport to eat there. And you won't be arrested for saying things either. Bonus!
/r/MensRights11/06/14 01:27 AM
3

That's pretty interesting. Thanks for finding that.
/r/MensRights11/06/14 12:12 AM
1

Reaction Formation, maybe?
/r/MensRights10/06/14 11:55 PM
5

It's a sad state of affairs when you'd rather spend your tourist dollars in Mississippi than Europe.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 11:20 PM
9

Hard to say objectively if this is fair or not. How much does the father make? What are the expenses for the children? Overall, it seems excessive to me. No sense in making a problem associated typically with men a problem for everyone.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 09:04 PM
1

For every move like this, I think a municipality should be obligated to assist shelter organizations to achieve extra capacity. It's one thing to sleep outside in the summer, but in some parts of the world at some times of year, the weather alone could be life-threatening, not to mention the inherent dangers of sleeping on the streets.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 06:07 PM
2

One place to start is the absence of any inclusionary language or anti-discrimination clause in domestic violence funding legislation. Another is the lack of any legal protection for boys from circumcision/MGM. Probably mostly what you will find is a void where legal protections either should be but don't exist, or already exist for women and exclude men. Then there is public policy which, while not law per se, as a function of procedures often disadvantages men just as badly if not worse.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 01:07 AM
6

The people who think that being fed is the "reason" someone is homeless should be stripped of anything allowing them any sort of public influence. That level of stupidity approaches incompetence. The vast majority of the homeless are that way because of addiction or other mental health problems. The remainder are people who have fallen on hard times and through the cracks. The only ones I've ever met who opted for homelessness were a few of the itinerant rail-riding types and they are a small fr…
/r/MensRights10/06/14 12:44 AM
7

For once the GMP comments called out the obvious hypocrisy. She dodged and weaved like a golden glove featherweight. Hilarity!
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:32 PM
8

Thanks for the anecdote. Every little bit helps.
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:12 PM
1

The fact that your dad is tough doesn't make him bullet proof. All it takes is one guy with a grudge and a shiv. Further, consider that your father had to endure violence anyway. All too often we, as men, take such things as facts of life and shrug it off. It might be worth you questioning whether financial hardships are really sufficient justification for a man you love to be subjected to a violent environment against his will. Just some food for thought. Best of luck to your father and family.…
/r/MensRights09/06/14 04:46 PM
3

C'mon now...I thought that was pretty good for a 2AM off the cuff reply. :P Though I think they are quite different - at least in terms of the emotional response. Fear Disbelief Defensiveness Scorn Jealousy Dissonance As for cause or reasoning...I got nothin' right now.
/r/MensRights06/06/14 07:28 AM
2

Adoption is really that child's only hope of a normal life. I think you're right about that. Get that poor child as far from this situation as possible. Even worse than that is the two kids she already has. Good lord...they must be going through hell.
/r/MensRights06/06/14 07:22 AM
1

Because now, we have this also very untenable situation of inverse oppression through oppression olympics. That has always been the tricky bit for me and probably the whole movement. How does one fight an empathy gap without resorting to narratives calling for empathy that could so very easily become comparisons to the experiences of others? I can't think of any hard and fast rules for this, to be honest. I fear that people will be relieved when they see a real oppressor in power, finally, inste…
/r/MensRights06/06/14 07:18 AM
9

I think there are a bunch of different factors here. For any particular person, it could be one or a combination. Like your quote, the idea of male victimization makes women feel vulnerable. Men are hyperagents, thus any male victimization is inconceivable and so must be false. It breaks the narrative of "woman good, man bad". Male victims are viewed as being especially weak and society tends to punish the weak. It steals the proverbial coin of the realm from those that perceive themselves as pe…
/r/MensRights06/06/14 06:46 AM
6

Safe to say that the kid is coming into a completely fucked situation no matter which was it goes down. That is a good point about precedent, though. That is a very troublesome thought.
/r/MensRights06/06/14 06:33 AM
2

I think some of this is for men's benefit - it's a sort of utopian idea that, even if we're weakened and no longer have utility, we still have value. On the flip side, you have the Nightingale Effect.
/r/MensRights06/06/14 04:23 AM
1

I suppose it's possible. A lot would depend on the person you're talking to, though. Someone who understands that "The Patriarchy" is expressed as just social systems and power structures, and not individuals, would be difficult to find I think.
/r/MensRights06/06/14 04:15 AM
-3

What part of "it's speculative" are you having a hard time with, exactly? Being raised by a 16 year-old kid might be better. Perhaps being raised by both of them would work. My point being, none of us know. 'You are not necessarily a sophisticated person and clearly gave no thought to the consequences.' Translation: You're a woman. Are you making a statement about all women or this woman?
/r/MensRights05/06/14 11:12 PM
0

In my case, it was my abuser's sister, grown daughter, mother, and two other friends, one of whom was male. None were self-identified as feminists. It's just a matter of developing a social circle that will be sympathetic to a particular abuser's narrative. It's not something that's based on politics as much as it is on relationships and personalities.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 09:06 PM
1

I can appreciate that perspective, absolutely. I mean, isn't that what this whole thread is predicated on? It will probably take the form of a series of one-offs - comments on his articles, counter comments to things he posts on, etc. I will make it a point to be more vocal when the hateful/stupid stuff comes up (admittedly, I sometimes just don't want to get into the mud - it can drain a person after a while) but I think it's worth more exertion to do so. Maybe others will come to that conclusi…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 09:02 PM
2

Seems like good business to me. They're responding to their marketplace so more power to Lego. And, really, there's nothing even remotely objectionable about the product. I guess I'm wondering what the men's rights angle is here.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 08:57 PM
1

I guess I'm coming at it from the perspective that we (the figurative "we") don't really have a valid expectation, or even the right, for Paul Elam to step down. He's not answerable to us, or anyone really. AVfM is his and it's undeniable his site draws attention and is a de facto clearing house for many people that voice solid opinions and provide good information. Trying to force him to take his ball and go home is, at this point, a losing proposition for the movement as a whole. So, the next …
/r/MensRights05/06/14 08:32 PM
7

Exactly. Gender is irrelevant. We're talking about an adult and a non-adult (child, teenager, etc.). The power differential is huge.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 08:23 PM
2

Edit: Apparent troll. Still, I think it's better to assume a story is true when responding directly to the narrator. Original The patter that you experienced is really common - much like boiling a frog, the systematic pattern of abuse almost always begins with eroding your sense of self. In this case, it took the form of misandric comments, hurtful "jokes", deprecating remarks, shifting standards, and even radfem ideology...you were subjected to the works. I can't tell you how sorry I am that yo…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 08:11 PM
16

This is an ugly ugly case. I don't know that I necessarily disagree with the sentence since the newborn child's welfare is the priority. It's speculative, at best, to know what would be in its best interests. But this sort of riled me: The court heard the lad seduced Cartwright and had sex with her in her home where she lived with her husband and children. Prosecutor Ms Sati Ruck said: 'It was the boy who instigated the sexual relationship when he slept with the defendant in her own bed.' The ge…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 06:56 PM
35

Well done, OP. The best to you in your recovery.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 06:28 PM
4

Get where I'm coming from? I'm 45 years old. Have lived a truly wide and varied life from the gutter to the top of the heap. I can relate, sympathize, and even empathize with all kinds of perspectives and people. And yet, I have no fucking clue where you're coming from. You can be a feminist, an MRA, both, or neither. But if you support a social cause , support the cause for the cause's sake, not for what you hope you'll get out of it personally. Further, if you want to be a feminist just so you…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 06:20 PM
3

Is that the only reason you would have to care about another human being? If that's your only standard, perhaps not being an MRA would be better for everyone.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 06:07 PM
6

Ridiculous. Male vs male IPV is the least common form of DV. And emotionally abusive patterns are highly prevalent with female perpetrators when the cycle doesn't reach a state of violence. Ugh...
/r/MensRights05/06/14 06:03 PM
1

Zing!
/r/MensRights05/06/14 05:16 PM
2

Now that an obscure comic has made a non-humorous joke about us, I can safely say we're in the mainstream. Ladies and gentlemen...we've arrived!
/r/MensRights05/06/14 05:02 PM
1

Well, yeah...Mandela was considered a terrorist. All those MK bombings sort of left an impression like that. Those were very different times, though, and a very different place. Even under the extremes of Apartheid, he preached strongly against the loss of human life. Once he came to power, his aim was coalition and not division. To draw a parallel - we're in a civil society. There's plenty of repression and discrimination, but not the overt oppression Mandela experienced. We should hold to some…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 03:57 PM
1

I knew I shouldn't have looked when I went to that site. Kind of depressing, but you're right - it's been obviously hijacked by the SJW crowd. Ultimately, any decision resides with the AVfM staff. But, I think it's worth letting them know that (and least, speaking personally with some agreement) we want them to succeed in today's media climate and would be willing to help with the financial cost of that.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 03:39 PM
1

Oh, that is without a doubt. Elam has shown he's able to draw others to him and that's a great talent and testament to his strengths. It's when he moves to the fore is where problems seem to arise.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 03:26 PM
1

Fair enough. I suppose the overall point I was trying to make with the Malcolm X comparison is that anger shouldn't be the only loud message. That, I believe, ultimately, detracts from our goal of wanting to be taken seriously - especially in light of today's media climate where clickbaiting and sound bites have taken the place of actual journalism.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 03:23 PM
10

This one has made the rounds a couple of times, but always worthy of an upvote.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 03:23 AM
14

This is a city that is made up majority of people who have actually experienced hundreds of years of oppression. TIL: the life expectancy in Detroit is way above the national average.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 02:54 AM
1

We get detractors who see angry rhetoric and insulting terms by select members of the group as representative of the group as a whole and cast the whole Movement into the same mold. I suspect we both know the folly in that approach. But I would love to have an actual discussion that cuts deeper than that if you're up for it so I'm going to ask more of you and I promise I will give more myself. So, define misogyny and what you think the Movement is with relation to your claim and show that the Mo…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 02:21 AM
2

Are you making the claim that the MHRM is misogynistic?
/r/MensRights05/06/14 01:51 AM
4

Thank you for the kind words! Honestly, and I'm being quite serious, I would happily donate to get a media consultant or PR person in at AVfM. As an all-volunteer outfit, I'd say they've done good but things are reaching a point of critical mass and they might be in over their heads. And I do give props to Elam for his ability to gather people to him. If this conference is a success, we'll have him and the staff of AVfM to thank. That's undeniable. And perhaps, the conference will highlight a tr…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 01:45 AM
7

Ugh...the Good Lapdog Project is at it again. It is currently 8:36PM CST. Let's see how long this comment I made stays up: I don't necessarily agree with this. We're all responsible for our own actions and feelings as those are the only things we can affect or control. I have loads of sympathy for any victim of rape, and fair amount of empathy as well as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. But the feelings of another person, especially in the absence of any action and based solely on existence…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 01:37 AM
1

Exactly this. Excellent reply /u/rapierwit. Don't buy into the "every man is a pedophile waiting to happen" hysteria, OP.
/r/MensRights05/06/14 01:23 AM
5

I think you may have a point here - at least in terms of who constitutes a spokesperson and why. I did a quick search and a lot of his name mentions on Google have come in the last 2 weeks by virtue of the Isla Vista incident and the false MHRM connection. It seems much of that attention was given by hit pieces and not necessarily by anything Elam did. I still think his rhetoric is unnecessary, and some of the things he's advocated have done some damage to our credibility, but let me think throu…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 01:19 AM
5

Indeed. That is one very impressive feat!
/r/MensRights05/06/14 12:48 AM
4

I understand your point, Sam. I wasn't speaking equivalence when I mentioned Malcolm X/MLK, but rather role - a sort of good-cop/bad-cop, yin/yang interplay. As for why he should be remembered I'm speaking just in terms of historical relevance - it's undeniable he's contributed to whatever progress we've made and he's a significant, if not divisive, figure. He has raised awareness and garnered attention (some of it very bad, of course, but not all of it). And, whether we want to admit it or not,…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 12:47 AM
4

I don't agree with that one bit, AW. I can think of 2 or 3 ways off the top of my head to make a point that didn't require a DoS attack or anything even smacking of illegal. Call for a man at that college who has been sexually assaulted by a women to enter a legitimate complaint and test the system. Hell, if you want to get radical with it, offer a reward for the first guy to get someone expelled. Raise funds for filing a Title IX suit against the college. Organize an actual protest and march on…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 12:28 AM
3

Yeah, you're right. Playing both sides is really hard on public perception. I mean espousing the spamming of an anonymous sexual assault reporting web site with false reports (at Occidental, IIRC)? That sort of thing is just a no. Very bad idea. I can get the idea that such a thing would cause outrage, but that is the absolute last thing that should have happened. Maybe AVfM needs some professional PR help. Hell, I would donate to that cause.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 11:41 PM
3

I don't disagree that those are excellent examples of reasoned and level spokespeople one bit. I respect the hell out of Drs Sommer and Farrel and Karen Straughan. In some circles, they are perhaps even more prominent and familiar than Paul Elam. But I would have to ask - which of them has been as vocal as Paul Elam? To create the balance, we need someone just as loud.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 11:25 PM
3

Honestly, I think I would want him remembered, and perhaps even venerated. But not quoted. Ever.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 11:09 PM
3

One possible partial solution to this would be to shield migrant labor from repercussions stemming from reporting OSHA violations, at least in the US. Even though labor deaths have declined significantly from the early 90's, the majority of injuries and deaths on the job are suffered by men who immigrated to the US (legally or illegally). Close to 60% based on some of the literature I've read. Some analysts have pointed out that fear of reprisals, deportation, or termination have prevented accur…
/r/MensRights04/06/14 11:07 PM
18

Paul Elam is an odd figure for me. On the one hand, he created the eminent site for men's issues that produces relevant content from a wide variety of authors. I'm quite certain he works tirelessly behind the scenes and is obviously uber-dedicated to the cause. On the other hand, he's pretty much an asshole and is a terrible face for the movement for the exact reasons you stated. I've made it a point of watching some of his videos and honestly some of the circle-jerk moments during his Hangouts …
/r/MensRights04/06/14 09:41 PM
2

I suspect this speaks more about the educational system than any wage discrimination.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 08:33 PM
7

I think it has to do with specific provisions like exposing salary information and shielding people who raise claims against employers. So, from my understanding, it's just an extension of the Equal Pay Act. Happy to be corrected, though.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 06:57 PM
3

Just another boilerplate polemic couched in pseudo-reasonability. Nothing new, really.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 06:47 PM
2

Oh man...that is hysterical! Thanks for sharing that. It was, sadly, pretty much what I thought it would be. As for reading...I have a very sensitive bill. It's got super powers. :)
/r/MensRights04/06/14 04:02 PM
3

I won't write a review for a book I've not read, and I had no intention of giving even one single dime to that author. I can say, whatever link PUA or Red Pill has to the MHRM should be challenged and severed. Those ideologies have no bearing on the issues and are far from helpful.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 03:37 PM
1

I think an often overlooked point when it comes to erosion of due process, even in Title IX cases, but especially in criminal cases: once it gets to authorities, it's no longer victim vs accused, it's authority vs accused. The power differential is immense and the repercussions when they get it wrong are huge.
/r/MensRights04/06/14 03:29 PM
2

Not to mention this little statistic: the percentage of divorce cases in which the mother got sole custody dropped from 60.4 to 45.7 That number should be hovering in the low single digits to be fair. There will be mitigating circumstances where an abusive parent or some other circumstance prevents one parent having sole custody, but to think that a 15% drop is in any way even close to equitable is ridiculous. That's like saying the rate of accidental executions went down from 60% to 45%...yay l…
/r/MensRights04/06/14 12:18 AM
7

I blame it on lack of a cool hashtag.
/r/MensRights03/06/14 09:27 PM
1

I don't necessarily agree with the idea of rape culture, but from my understanding of it, it doesn't really work that way. Rape Culture is, more or less, the tacit condoning and normalization, rather than active promotion, of rape.
/r/MensRights03/06/14 05:30 PM
10

No, not really. I think you've missed what I was saying. Both genders attempt suicide, for example, but men commit suicide at a much higher rate. Domestic violence affects both genders equally, but men don't have the same resources to deal with it as women do. Men's shelters are virtually non existent. The simplified point being that men need help in these and other areas and we aren't getting it.
/r/MensRights03/06/14 03:50 AM
15

If you're coming from a feminist perspective it might be difficult to get your head around men's issues because it is based on a very different mind set. Rather than an ideology, the MHRM is really a collection of issues. For example, men are 50% of the victims of domestic violence, yet only the tiniest fraction of public resources are used to help male victims. There is a widening educational gap between boys and girls in primary and secondary education and it gets a bit larger every year as mo…
/r/MensRights03/06/14 03:34 AM
5

I smell troll. Threatening someone with rape is a crime.
/r/MensRights02/06/14 11:18 PM
3

This doesn't surprise me if the conversation did go down as described. The bottom line is that the hotel is out to protect its interests. You, the potential guest, has to be reassured everything will be just fine. Sure, they may call in extra security to ensure nothing happens, but from a PR perspective, everything is fine, there's nothing to worry about, here, have an extra cookie for your troubles.
/r/MensRights02/06/14 05:55 PM
3

Maybe this is a great opportunity for us to understand what sorts of issues come with being a trans person. I understand that violence is a huge problem, especially for trans women (meaning MtF in the event I got that term wrong), but trans men (FtM?) are, honestly, a bit of a mystery in terms of knowing their experiences. So, let me reverse the question here - what issues do you face and what do you think the MHRM's role should be?
/r/MensRights02/06/14 03:06 PM
4

This is a huge issue for me and I would be happy to contribute to any effort to raise awareness. Feel free to PM me. Thanks!
/r/MensRights01/06/14 10:17 PM
60

The one question I would love ask this woman... "What is something you want to do, but can't, because of your gender?" I'd be very curious to see what sort of response she would contrive for that.
/r/MensRights01/06/14 08:56 PM
2

Interesting graphic. Could you provide a source?
/r/MensRights01/06/14 08:48 PM
2

Welp, today I learned something...a very natural and normal act is, by default, criminal, and should be treated as such unless proven otherwise.
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:59 PM
3

Have an upvote for a worthy attempt. Not Yeats or ee cummings, but the message is pretty darn good.
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:54 PM
4

Did Christina Hoff Sommers start the tag? Whoever did deserves serious props.
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:53 PM
1

Can be abused by their domestic partner, but will have nowhere to go. Are expected to know what to do, and if they don't, are considered less of a man. Are raised by women who force stereotypical masculinity on them. Are only valued as long as they have utility and serve a purpose. Are exposed to attempts to demonize their gender - and some buckle in and agree. Are denied basic compassion and routinely have their feelings and identities invalidated because they should "man up".
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:50 PM
9

Smash the Petriarchy!
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:40 PM
5

Feminism is a diverse and hardly unified movement. Do you really want to have Christina Hoff Sommers classified as a Terrorist? Secondly, like Gnarles said, this is just a path to censorship. We don't want feminism censored. Far better for everyone to have all the ideas out in the open. Sunlight, as they say, is the best disinfectant.
/r/MensRights01/06/14 07:39 PM
9

Glad you're getting progress on this! I'm sure it's a great relief to be heard by authorities (finally).
/r/MensRights01/06/14 02:09 AM
0

Ugh! Why must SJW's fuck with everything that's good?
/r/MensRights01/06/14 01:40 AM
8

I took a look at the Innocence Project and found these: Kathy Gonzalez Paula Gray Debra Sheldon
/r/MensRights31/05/14 10:26 PM
2

Well said, Iz and I hope the little guy has a father or other family that can fill in the gap for him. We shouldn't go our of our way to find things to disagree with. But, when it's necessary, we shouldn't shy away from criticism of feminism either.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 08:59 PM
6

That's true. Some parents do have that fear of being upstaged/unseated when it comes to their children's loyalties and affection.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 07:58 PM
3

And hey, if they're all friends, then you could even make it somewhat easier on yourself, and the parents, by organising a mass sleepover with all the children. Ahh...I do so love the concept of economy of scale. Great point.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 07:57 PM
1

I actually like the idea of a video full of succinct vignettes - maybe 30 second narratives describing a particular thing someone experienced. I'm sure there are ways to make it visually appealing, but as a starting point I like it.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 07:46 PM
3

Are you talking about feminism the ideology or feminists the people who follow that ideology? The ideology is full of problems, IMHO, and has an oversimplified world-view. The people are just like any other group - some are awesome, some are assholes.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 07:39 PM
105

Dude, do you realize how fortunate you are? You've found your passion! Congratulations! Don't let the naysayers get you down. Seriously, fuck anyone who tries to dissuade you from doing something you both care about and are, apparently, really really good at. That is rare and precious in today's working world. Play the game if you have to, but don't let it discourage you from this. Good luck!
/r/MensRights31/05/14 07:15 PM
2

I'm very vigilant about my surroundings. Strangely, I know enough to force myself to not be afraid (at least outwardly) since showing vulnerability is something that could very well induce someone to take a shot. I've been held up at knife point before and I suspect a contributing factor was that I was a bit inebriated and rather depressed at the time and not paying attention. My body language was off and I got surprised. In a way I'm opposed to the #yesallwomen campaign because it may, ultimate…
/r/MensRights31/05/14 05:46 PM
3

GTFO, troll.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 05:21 PM
3

I know it seems hopeless and I'm really sorry you're in such dreadful circumstances. You have every right to feel as you do - this is a despicable situation. Just remember that your child is your child forever. For the rest of your respective lives. Think long-term on this. There will come a time when your lives are different and your relationship can be as close and strong as you want it to be without any interference at all. Keep fighting the good fight. Your son will know and really, that's t…
/r/MensRights31/05/14 05:11 PM
2

AVfM has a chat room though the few times I've visited there was little conversation despite having a fair number of people on the channel. Like all things internet, your mileage may vary.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 04:58 PM
4

For me, I'm a huge proponent of getting Domestic Violence against men addressed. Currently we have such scarce resources for male victims it's appalling. 50% of the victims receive the tiniest fraction of the resources, and the majority of those resources are publicly funded. I've been in that situation and it is truly demoralizing when you suffer through something, acknowledge you need help that you see other people receive, only to be turned away because of a Y chromosome.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 04:46 PM
8

I think you've missed the point of the MHRM entirely. The majority of the things we talk about here have legal and policy remedies. When the discussion does turn to how masculinity should work, I'd venture to say the majority opinion is this: society should allow a man to be what he wants to be. That could mean anything from a hyper-effeminate, emotionally sensitive and open, low physicality person to the traditional idea of a hyper-masculine and all points in between. It was a nicely written ar…
/r/MensRights31/05/14 04:40 PM
6

I side with the equity feminists on this issue. There needs to be legal and policy redress for specific cases of demonstrable discrimination. Roe needs to be upheld. EEOA claims need to be filed and acted upon when proven. Due process needs to be upheld. Anything else really devolves into a vague and indecipherable mess that helps no one.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 02:26 AM
3

Unpopular opinion alert! Honestly, if the people being served by this program want to include girls and women, and the resources are sufficient that any man or boy who wants to participate is able to, I have no issue with this at all. The feminist rhetoric is a bit...unsettling...but the end result is not too objectionable.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 01:59 AM
3

Did some reading here and you're right - trans people do have a very hard time of it.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 01:34 AM
6

which is why dumb issues like circumcision and men being raped by women get so much traction. No kidding! Whiny bastards going on about bodily autonomy and sexual trauma. Like it's some sort of big deal. It's just men we're talking about here. Amiright?
/r/MensRights31/05/14 01:27 AM
4

Personally, I'm only offended by the sexism. Hypocrisy, to me, is almost a laughing matter. Frustrating at times, but ultimately it just shows the inconsistency of another's thoughts more than saying anything about me personally.
/r/MensRights31/05/14 12:44 AM
2

I'm reminded of Thoreau for some reason... "Though we build our castles in the air, our work need not be wasted. That is where castles belong - now, we must supply the foundation." When you engage like this, make it a point of doing it openly so others can see what you have to say. What I've found to be true is that people who are not directly involved in an exchange can have their minds changed when they are given an opportunity to see issues from the outside. Maybe just keep to the idea that y…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 11:41 PM
5

Rape is bad - whether it's a male or female victim is inconsequential. I can say with some degree of confidence that you'll not find a single person here that thinks otherwise. As to what we should do about it, you're looking at two different scenarios: actual legal proceedings and pseudo-legal, Title IX-esque proceedings. In a court of law, where severe penalties exist, evidentiary rules have to be adhered to. Due process is an important, even crucial, mechanism for a civil society. We still op…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 11:35 PM
3

I didn't downvote and I don't think you broke any rules, but maybe I can share a perspective here. This is a schtick that's been (over)done by feminists already. Any MRA version of it comes off as reactionary and we're well behind the times with it anyway. It's a sort of obvious attempt to keep up with the proverbial Jones's. In principle, I think it's a great idea to put flesh and blood and real human experiences behind the issues we talk about here. But, I think the mechanism you're proposing …
/r/MensRights30/05/14 11:17 PM
4

What seems apparent here is not so much that the person you were arguing with was moving the goalposts all over the place, engaging in incredible solipsism (you're wrong because you don't agree with me), and relying on circular argument. The sad truth here is that you bought in to it. I admire your enthusiasm, but putting that much effort into this discussion when you were aware that no matter what your rationale was it would be disregarded is folly. So, consider this a lesson learned - assess e…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 11:03 PM
14

This doesn't surprise me in the least. When my daughter was growing up, her social strife was largely the result of conflicts with other girls her age. She could handle the boys no problem but some of her treatment by the girls she knew would cut right through her. Anecdotal, yes, but I don't think it was atypical.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 10:00 PM
4

Eh...I wasn't going for any oppression competition here. I'm not a part of that demographic so I have nothing to gain by doing so. Just stating my opinion based on what I've seen happen to the gay and trans people I know. Objectively, you're probably right in that trans people have particular markers of hardship that exceed other groups. I've only done the most basic research on it, honestly.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 08:42 PM
11

I upvoted gay marriage as well even though it's not exclusively an issue for gay men only. I just think gay men have the hardest time of it across the board. Gay issues strikes straight to the heart of many general men's issues - demonizing male sexuality, gender conformity, lack of empathy, etc.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 08:17 PM
27

I agree. Generalizations tend to water down the discussion as well. Even if the intended target of a comment was an individual or sub-group, use of the "all" qualifier tends to lead things astray. Far too easy to find irrelevant counter examples when you aren't specific in commentary and criticism.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 06:26 PM
7

Instead of telling them, perhaps you can show them. When they ask "hey, what motivated you to volunteer at the shelter?" or "why are you organizing a men's survivors group?" you can tell them about the issue that you're addressing. I've found that someone has to be a right dead-on asshole to disagree with good works.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:57 PM
1

A woman's physiology is fundamentally different from a man's and, consequently, has different tolerances and properties. If I recall correctly, I believe that women have, on average, 2/3 of the pain receptors that men have. They also have superior resistance to certain illnesses like flu. Honestly, I'm consistently impressed by women's physicality - speaking in terms of on average, they have lower centers of gravity, longer adrenaline surges, more joint flexibility, better balance, quicker refle…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:40 PM
2

Well, I think there's a fundamental disconnect here between us, so I'll make this point so you understand my position more clearly. She submitted to him an article that attacks a fundamental part of his identity. If you don't believe the article is inherently bigoted then we're just going to disagree indefinitely (which is ok). But that's the fundamental stance I'm taking here. It's akin to sending An Embarrassment of Riches to a devout Catholic or white supremacist literature to a Jewish person…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:29 PM
1

Maybe even an emphatic disagreement, if they really piss you off.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:13 PM
2

My SO would definitely deserve that disrespect if the reactionary response was to see passive aggression and an underlying motive, and then to look for advice on Reddit instead of discussing it. Does anyone's relationship actually work like that? You mean like looking for an outside opinion on a relationship issue? There's an entire therapeutic industry, 100's of web sites, and dozens of subs on Reddit dedicated to just that. So, I suppose that for some people, their relationships do work like t…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:48 PM
2

Hmmm...well, I'd never advocate punching anyone. But that level of smug condescension deserves a thorough talking to, at least.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:30 PM
3

AVfM can have decent content and I have started reading it occasionally. I'm not a Paul Elam fan, though, and I understand what you're saying. They can get pretty derogatory about women there at times. Even though I understand the sentiment and frustration behind it, and generally oppose tone policing, much of the vitriol that's found there is unnecessary. That being said, they do fall well short of actual misogyny. Bad language and calling certain women names or using derogatory terms for indiv…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:24 PM
1

True enough. I take it from Ghandi's perspeective - "winning" wasn't conquering, but rather gaining independence and achieving goals for the common good.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:16 PM
2

Eh...what I wrote was 90% snark. Consider this, though: if an open discussion was the goal, why make a passive aggressive move by sending an accusatory and bigoted article to kick it off? The content of the article is only marginally relevant, really. Her motives, though, and approach... That is worthy of questioning whether the relationship is something that the OP really needs to be involved in. And note that the answer to that may be staying together and there's nothing wrong with that.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:14 PM
2

Cool. Thanks!
/r/MensRights30/05/14 03:57 PM
2

The condescension is strong with this one.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 06:47 AM
1

Happy to hear you've approached the MHRM with an open mind. Welcome. Hope to see your contributions here.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 06:18 AM
2

I am reminded of that great Ghandi quote: "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
/r/MensRights30/05/14 06:11 AM
5

True enough. A Y chromosome is conviction-worthy in the eyes of some. If they go after Fred Rogers, I'll throw down with them too! <sup>...feeling</sup> <sup>a</sup> <sup>bit</sup> <sup>plucky</sup> <sup>today...</sup>
/r/MensRights30/05/14 06:05 AM
4

Don't fuck with Fred, OP, or we're going to throw down.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:55 AM
16

Heh...this is the second time I've said this today, but it's worth repeating. If you can piss off 2X and TRP...you're doing something very very right.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 05:44 AM
2

Women: Which one? Some are awesome. Some are assholes. They aren't all the same. Feminists: Are usually women, but sometimes are men. Depending on the brand they may be misguided (ifeminists and equity feminists are pretty cool, radfems, TERFs, gender feminists, etc. not so much). Also, see above.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:45 AM
26

(in best Morgan Freeman voice): Well, ain't that something...
/r/MensRights30/05/14 04:41 AM
83

Seems simple to me... Dear Girlfriend, Sex and physical intimacy is a vital part of a relationship. Indeed, I am not entitled to sex, nor are you. By the same token, neither of us is entitled to emotional support, communication, time together, gifts, favors, affirmation or companionship. We give these things freely. If you think you must educate me on simple relationship dynamics, and insult my intelligence by doing so, then I have to question if you're really the kind of person I want to invest…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 03:44 AM
21

I agree, yeah. The upside to liberal moderation policies - people can speak their mind, even if it means they hang themselves in the process. Far superior to just deleting/banning offensive people in a knee-jerk fashion. In the long run it portrays the community more accurately (and favorably) I think.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 03:37 AM
5

Yeah, it is wildly insulting. Some of that conversation went as such... Feminist 1: "I was beat up by my boyfriend" Me: "That sucks. I'm sorry that happened. I was attacked by my ex fiance and she gashed my face open. I can understand how you might feel." Feminist 2: "You can't possibly know how she feels. Drawing a parallel like that is insulting to women!" Such comments only make sense when you start with the assumption that men's experiences aren't as valid as a woman's. A huge and obvious se…
/r/MensRights30/05/14 03:31 AM
11

If you're pissing off both sides, you're probably doing something very right.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 03:21 AM
2

There are men's rights clubs? Why were we not informed of this?
/r/MensRights30/05/14 02:56 AM
5

Ok, I see your point better. Thanks for that.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 12:22 AM
21

How about just stating MGM is bad and leaving it at that? Trying to "trump" another's experience is the epitome of Oppression Olympics.
/r/MensRights30/05/14 12:16 AM
4

Alison FTW!
/r/MensRights30/05/14 12:04 AM
7

Role reversal doesn't work with the solipsistic very well. Lesson learned, I suppose.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 11:48 PM
3

I tend to think of it as the dying throes of the movement, myself. Sort of like the expansion to a red giant a star makes before collapsing.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 11:43 PM
4

Glad to be of help, brother. My inbox is open if you ever need it.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 11:31 PM
9

Am I fucked up? I don't think so. I mean, we all have to get through things in our own way. What I do know, as a survivor myself, is that the longer you wait to address traumatic events the harder it becomes and they tend to pop up and bit you when you least expect it. You might be able to compartmentalize for now, and maybe that's what you need to do until you get through your classes, but these things tend to fester. Sometimes it's worth it to take those feelings and memories out from time to …
/r/MensRights29/05/14 11:20 PM
3

Our society doesn't have markers like that, though. At one point it was marriage, or military service, or some other conformist event. There's nothing wrong if a guy wanted to adopt that provider, protector, procreator model you proposed - but it shouldn't stop there and that's the disagreement I have with you. What you're proposing is rather antiquated and doesn't apply any longer as the specific single true definition of "manhood". If that's the boat I missed, then all I can say is enjoy the v…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 11:09 PM
138

I'm sorry that this subreddit has now become the target of the national media. Honestly, I'm not. The attention has brought people like yourself here to find out first hand. After taking a look, now you know the truth of it. In a weird way, I'm grateful for the coverage, since the perception and the reality are so far removed from each other the absurdity of the those articles becomes self-evident. And for the record, we're not always polite, and there's plenty of salty language, disagreement, a…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:54 PM
10

Damn man, that is rough. I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. I gotta ask, person to person, is this really a good time for you to be taking a class like this? Don't expect that it will get any better, and will probably get quite a bit worse. I took this class to see why these people are so fucked up. And because I'm gay, they all want to be my friend and act as if I'm something to own. I've heard this many times before so you're not alone in this. Wish I had some words of wisdom for …
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:49 PM
10

It's sad, but enlightening, that they focus on perpetration rather than victimization. It might be worth seeing those same categories viewed by who the victims are. Although, that would assume that the point of the whole thing is to analyze the crimes and not fulfill a "men are bad" agenda. Wishful thinking, I know...
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:28 PM
2

I'm sorry you have that response available to you. I hope you're doing ok. You do touch on a valuable idea, though - where feminism has sought to make the personal political, there's great value for men to make the political personal. When it's no longer a faceless statistic facing a person, but an actual flesh and blood human being representing the issue, that becomes a true test of their character. Hang in there.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:23 PM
4

So, you want to enforce legal protections for social perceptions and criminalize free expression? Sorry, but that notion is absurd. The actual legal and policy battles are obvious - sentencing, family courts, domestic violence resources, circumcision, educational disparity, etc. Public perception, though? And with only one definition of what makes a man? Not every man wants to wear the mantle of provider, protector, and procreator. You're way off base with this. A man can be who he wants to be w…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:19 PM
3

After seeing so many campaigns, hashtags, discussions of male privilege and entitlement, etc. something just didn't seem kosher with all of that input. I'm not going to go all tinfoil here and suggest that there is a concerted movement to brainwash men, but given the stages of brainwashing listed, it's almost too easy to see the parallels. Assault on identity. #killallmen, "All men are...", etc. Guilt. Male entitlement. Privilege. Self-betrayal. Allies. White Knights. Breaking point...too obviou…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 10:11 PM
11

I liked to think of it more like being a ninja. Ninjas are cool. But yes, you're pretty spot on as far as them taking offense is concerned. It doesn't take much.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 09:44 PM
1

Yeah, erasure of male victims is something we fight pretty strongly here. I think it falls back to the idea of men being hyperagents. That somehow, we're all indestructible super-men with supreme physical capabilities and completely lacking in emotional response. To hear of a man being a victim of any sort, regardless of who perpetrates the victimization, is often met with disbelief or shaming.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 09:39 PM
1

I didn't do it as you did, but I was able to avoid spousal support in CA by simply drawing out the divorce for multiple years and paying for her health insurance during that time. It allowed my attorney to make the argument that she was able to make ends meet on her own and thus additional support was unnecessary. Considering she asked for $3,000 a month in her initial filing, I consider that a huge win.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 09:27 PM
6

Personally I avoid that term, and here's why. By using it, you are only agreeing to the fact and disagreeing with the extent. For many, if not most, cases the fact is wrong. For example: "Men rape". My response: "yes, some people rape". Coming back with "not all men" just obfuscates the falsity of the original statement and tacitly agrees with it. It puts you immediately into the role of an apologist rather than analyst. It's a game I prefer not to play, to be honest.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 09:12 PM
3

I mentioned this in another thread, but I think it applies well here. When I taught my daughter to drive, I taught her to drive defensively with all the normal rules and precautions. When she was 18 she got into an accident, of course. When that happened, only one thing was important - that she was ok. There was no room for admonishments or questioning her. That time had passed. So, when you engage with people who see prevention as victim blaming, there's a tacit assumption for many that you are…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 09:05 PM
1

I'm going to cherry pick a few of these. Is your goal the equality of opportunity for men and women, or the equality of treatment for men and women? I think you mean outcome here and not treatment. But, going from your question verbatim, it's both and really they can't be separated. As for outcome vs opportunity, opportunity is the more important. Is there such a thing as Male Privilege? Is there such a thing as Female Privilege? Can you give me an example? There is no such thing as "privilege",…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 08:45 PM
5

Great video and certainly has applicability to our sub in light of all the activity and criticism lately. Like the ol' airline safety briefing goes - "put the mask on yourself first".
/r/MensRights29/05/14 08:24 PM
15

This reminds me of something that happened to my daughter many years ago. I taught her to drive defensively. To keep her eyes constantly scanning, watch out for the other guy, assume cars won't obey traffic signals and only trust what they actually do, etc. Naturally, being 18, she got into an accident. Did I harangue her about not watching out? No. The time for that was long past. All that mattered was that she was ok. So, before jumping into that conversation, it might be worth establishing wh…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 06:00 PM
7

How about something like this: "Sis, I love you dearly and our relationship is important. However, I find some of your views on gender issues make me uncomfortable. Can we leave politics out of our discussions, please?" The bottom line is that your relationship with your sister is far more important than your respective world-views and political leanings. Hopefully you have enough mutual respect for each other that you can make it an "agree to disagree" sort of arrangement and not introduce any …
/r/MensRights29/05/14 05:44 PM
2

It does little to foster discussion when you just post a meme (I believe we still have a policy about low-effort posts here). I don't quite follow what you're trying to say. It might be better to repost this with some citations about the 18 a week and draw your parallel more clearly. In other words: use your words.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 05:37 PM
42

Welcome back. I have posted in AskFeminists before and had a decent response. Granted, I did rein in my beliefs quite a bit and simply asked probing questions and left the answers alone and didn't challenge anything directly. I had posted a query at one point if any of them had considered what it would be like being a man and many, if not most, provided a fairly level-headed response. On that thread I attempted to draw parallels between our personal experiences. I did get one or two of the "I ca…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 05:29 PM
3

"Subjugation" is a rather inflammatory term. Can you cite specific examples? I'll try to fill in some blanks here in the meantime... Anti-abortion legislation - this is clearly a conservative based opposition. Objectification, slut-shaming, and over-sexualization - society at large. Both men and women propagate this (and, I will dare to say, it's mostly women competing with other women driving this). Street harassment - assholes. And, not a small amount of hysteria as well that overblows mildly …
/r/MensRights29/05/14 05:09 PM
1

A pyrrhic victory at best, I'm afraid. Now, if there had been witnesses and he came off as reasonable and not aggressive, that's a horse of a very different color.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 04:59 PM
1

It might provide a bit more of an uphill slope at first, you're right. But, as seems to be the case in my experience, those that will agree with us will agree with us. Those that won't, won't. In either case, the name of the movement has little bearing. At least, that's what I've found.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 04:55 PM
3

I understand your point, and to an extent I agree with you. Branding is important to public perception and changing the context might make our movement more palatable to those who don't know about us. The thing is that using the term "rights" is a bit more accurate under the current climate. Most of the issues we address, when it comes right down to it, are things that can be addressed legally or through public policy. "Issues" implies things that are personal. "Rights" implies things that can b…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 04:03 PM
4

How convicted is she to separation/divorce? Your best bet is to try and save the marriage. Not only for the kids, but for you and your wife as well. The fact that there aren't any serious deal-breakers (the 4 A's - Addiction,Abuse, Adultery, Abandonment) suggests this might just be that inevitable stage of marriage where everything gets reevaluated. I would strongly suggest you take a look at Retrouvaille. It's a really effective program. If your wife is willing to spend a weekend away with you …
/r/MensRights29/05/14 03:54 PM
6

So, basically, you were an asshole to her and she was an asshole back at you. This surprises you? And yeah, her words were vitriolic and spitting is assault, but let's face facts here - you poked a bear. If you must engage with people like this, assume before you start that you won't get that "checkmate" moment. Because, well...you won't. It doesn't work that way. The best you can hope for is a discussion where you will disagree with each other but can walk away from without altercation.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 03:23 PM
1

That's perhaps true and certainly indicates a widespread problem of a different sort - a mental health crisis, perhaps. I'm just disinclined to think of this as an event that undermines, and forces a reexamination of, being a man. That's what I meant by this not being an existential crisis.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 04:44 AM
5

Honestly, there is no prevailing message concerning Rodger's actions. There have been no global epiphanies as a result of this tragedy, nor should there be. One sick man does not make for a gender-wide existential crisis. We are not him. At best, we can try to make sense of it in a larger context and think in terms of what to do so it doesn't happen again. It's time for pragmatism, not soul searching. Mental health needs to be a focus in policy and funding at all levels, public and private. Even…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 03:55 AM
76

Strangely, you're the second person to make a comment like this today. I'm not fond of the ideology of feminism, but I honestly think there are good people in the movement, albeit they are misguided in some ways. However, being an asshole crosses all ideological boundaries. So, try not to let the bad ones get you down. I, for one, appreciate it whenever anyone takes note of the fact that men have issues that need to be addressed. So, thank you for that. Hopefully we will see you around and parti…
/r/MensRights29/05/14 03:12 AM
6

I think this sort of thing is just what we need to hear right now. Let's never forget that whatever status men achieve in the public sphere comes with huge sacrifices in the private sphere. And that, honestly, is where real life resides.
/r/MensRights29/05/14 03:03 AM
1

I very much like your approach in general, tildespamzor. An open conversation is what needs to happen, I agree. As odd as this will sound coming from an MRA speaking to a feminist about feminism...don't let the assholes get you down. There's lots of crazy to go around on all sides, but some pretty good folks too.
/r/MensRights28/05/14 10:42 PM
1

This seems self-evident - people are not the same as their politics. Not to mention what someone espouses in the public sphere is often radically different than what they practice in the private sphere. For example, I'm very much in favor of decriminalizing drugs. But, by the same token, there's no way in hell I would encourage my grown daughter to use them. While that may seem hypocritical, it stems from viewing the public sphere as a place where people can make their own choices and a private …
/r/MensRights28/05/14 03:27 PM
5

Don't fall for this, TCL. There is no evidence that her assailant (if there was one - the proverbial jury is still out on that) was in any way connected to the MHRM. Anyone suggesting otherwise is speculating and probably has an agenda beyond reporting the facts. This case is ongoing and, should additional information come out showing the involvement of a MRA, then I'll be happy to add my voice to those decrying the deed. Violence in the name of social progress is never justified. But until it's…
/r/MensRights28/05/14 02:43 PM
2

Touche. :)
/r/MensRights28/05/14 02:13 AM
2

Join r/TIA. Get snarky. Have a few laughs. Besides that, I fail to see the point of Tumblr being of any use to an outsider. I mean, it's really hard to take people who think they are unicorns or wolves seriously.
/r/MensRights27/05/14 10:42 PM
2

I would suggest reading his manifesto. Normally, I would agree with you but that agreement comes with the assumption that whoever we're talking about had some connection to reality. This guy was a grade-A narcissist and totally broke from reality. It's available here and starts getting twisty pretty quick. Especially when he starts talking about his entitlements (the lottery story around page 100 or so, for example, is pretty creepy).
/r/MensRights27/05/14 10:39 PM
3

After reading his manifesto and finding out he had a number of help opportunities from family and professionals, I doubt anyone could have done much to stop him beyond having him committed.
/r/MensRights27/05/14 10:05 PM
1

I can understand your frustration and it does suck. Just remember that all this rhetoric stems from a faulty supposition: that all women are oppressed by all men. It's rooted in patriarchy theory and thus all the rest of that logic flows from that faulty concept and carries forth that fundamental flaw. Think of it as arguing with a drunk. When one's world view is not founded in common and realistic experiences or perceptions, it's nigh impossible to make sense of it. Like my dad always taught me…
/r/MensRights27/05/14 07:11 PM
5

I think this is an excellent idea. I've been a proponent of local action for my entire time on this sub and such a thing is crucial for both the development of the movement as well as the individuals within it. I also volunteer at a homeless shelter. My desire to do so stems from the fact that most homeless are male. And while this may or may not be considered "activism" for men's rights, it's certainly an activity that addresses one of the major issues the MHRM faces. Supporting others that wan…
/r/MensRights27/05/14 06:58 PM
3

So, someone confusing Red Pill/PUA with the MHRM means our downfall? If anything it might help us to draw a great big unmistakable line between the two. I would very much welcome the distinction.
/r/MensRights24/05/14 08:28 PM
1

I think you're looking at this the wrong way. First of all, being fat and/or socially awkward doesn't have much bearing on being a good parent. Ask the child of any given narcissist and you can make that determination pretty quick. Secondly, it's her personal choice, so I'm wondering why you're upset about it. Artificial insemination has been going on for quite some time. The man who donated the sperm did so with full knowledge of how it would be used and has no (presumed) responsibility for a c…
/r/MensRights24/05/14 01:44 AM
8

Kudos for not resorting to dirty tactics, unplugging the router, and claiming unknown service outage.
/r/MensRights22/05/14 09:12 PM
2

Well, here's the thing. There is Feminism and then there are feminists. Most feminists, in my view, are decent people. There are loud exceptions, of course, but I think the average person who considers themselves a feminist is like you - you believe in true equality. The issue many (perhaps most) MRAs have concerning feminists is when they parade the ideology of Feminism as truth. What it comes right down to is this: feminism is a belief system. An ideology. It's just a way of viewing the world.…
/r/MensRights22/05/14 06:24 PM
7

Ah, well that actually speaks pretty loudly to how you view yourself, really. It sounds a bit to me like you feel a bit powerless. Oddly, men's rights is big on the idea of women taking control of their own lives. This video from TyphonBlue is a nice illustration and, I think, cuts straight to heart of the matter. I would suggest you start realizing your own power and what you said in your other post is absolutely spot on the best way to start - you are responsible for your life. I mean, conside…
/r/MensRights17/05/14 09:33 PM
1

A lot of child discipline is really self discipline. Kids will emulate their parents so if a parent flies off the handle about things, so will the kid. If the parent keeps their shit together, the kids will do this as well. If a parent is nervous or anxious, the kid will pick up on that and be nervous and anxious as well (maybe this is what happened to the OP at the Y?). Another part of it is just knowing your child. If they're hungry, bored or tired, they are going to act up. Virtually all kids…
/r/MensRights17/05/14 09:21 PM
3

Since this is men's rights, I'll start with the social angle on this. Part of it might be the way you view male and female sexuality - male sexuality is "predatory" and female sexuality is placed on a pedestal, protected, and given higher value. So, in a way, your attitudes are reflective of a very common set of beliefs. As to what you can do about it - I would first ask if you, or your partner(s), have a problem with how you view it. Social justice is all well and good, but sex is a very person…
/r/MensRights17/05/14 09:03 PM
3

I've got some thoughts on that, but I'll post them in your new thread when it hits.
/r/MensRights17/05/14 08:52 PM
7

That's an important life lesson and kudos to you for recognizing it. We are all largely responsible for our own experiences in life - even the one-off bad stuff, ultimately. We can't control what others do, but we sure as hell can control how we react to it. Hope to see you around the sub and looking forward to your contributions!
/r/MensRights17/05/14 08:43 PM
4

I think you might have a point, xNOM. Mutual physical affection is a clear sign of some sort of relationship. Sounds a bit like the OP is in a bad feedback loop - fear prevents affection which, in turn, makes it more awkward for him which generates more fear. I hope he's able to break out of that for everyone's sake.
/r/MensRights16/05/14 11:34 PM
22

I can understand your fears to a degree - I was a single father for many years and remember very well the odd looks I would get at times. Fortunately for me, nothing ever came close to your situation, but I can understand those reservations. This is one of those situations where all I can tell you is this: be a dad. This is your natural, even divine, right and responsibility. Your obligation to your children is the priority here. Don't let anyone or anything sway you from doing what you know you…
/r/MensRights16/05/14 04:12 PM
5

Have you shared your feelings about this with your wife the same way you shared them with us? I mean, she was right there when the accusation at the Y occurred. Have you shared with her how much that affected you?
/r/MensRights16/05/14 03:44 PM
1

In a general sense, yes. I'm not a proponent of retributive violence at all. It's one thing to use force to protect yourself or others, but quite another to swing back just because someone took a shot at you first. In an enclosed space with no escape and the aggressor not backing off after the initial punch, yeah, you almost have to hit back. And gender/size differences are pretty irrelevant here. An incensed attacker intent on doing you harm has great potential to injure you based on that alone…
/r/MensRights16/05/14 03:03 PM
7

There is actually a whole subset of feminists called TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists). There aren't many compared to the rest of the movement, but they exist in enough numbers to be remarkable.
/r/MensRights15/05/14 09:59 PM
3

Curses. Foiled by my Anglo history blind spot.
/r/MensRights15/05/14 06:06 AM
7

The wrong answer there should be a deal-breaker, you're right.
/r/MensRights14/05/14 05:20 PM
15

If politics are a deal breaker for you, then break the relationship. If they aren't, and she treats you well, don't. As for her attitudes, here's a dare for her: find any female leader in history that does not have blood on her hands. Wars are fought over resources, ideology, and conquest, not gender predisposition.
/r/MensRights14/05/14 05:13 PM
4

Certainly. And thank you for posing the question. It's a good one. I honestly sighed with relief when I finished the text without seeing an off topic remark about how feminists are evil. I make a distinction between feminism and feminists. I disagree with and see problems with, the ideology, but what it comes right down to is that whether it's the MHRM or feminism the movements are just based on people. We're all just hairless apes and have good and bad as part of our very nature. So, no, I don'…
/r/MensRights14/05/14 04:48 PM
7

Nice post, OP. I just wanted to address your top level question - I think that women have been oppressed, but at certain times and in certain cultures. It hasn't been universal. Most claims of universal oppression tend to look at public sphere markers - who were the leaders, who had the wealth, how was lineage defined, etc. These aren't the only markers worth examining and I suspect that private sphere examinations would show a bit more balance to a society as a whole.
/r/MensRights14/05/14 04:33 PM
12

Honestly, I think the MHRM will be seen positively in the future. The biggest static we receive right now comes from people rejecting the very notion of men needing their rights protected. These are factions of society that view men as oppressors or hyperagents, not people with their own collective set of problems, lives, and right to self-determination. I mean, this boils down to what the goals of the movement really are, doesn't it? What does the MHRM seek to accomplish? We aren't out to subju…
/r/MensRights14/05/14 04:11 PM
1

Yeah, I do need to stand up for myself and honestly I know cutting contact is my best bet, but I don't want to lose her as a friend. I know you're neck-deep in emotions over this, but I have to point out something: is this what a friend does? Is she really your friend? For whatever reason, you're giving this woman quite a bit of power. Perhaps it's time to take your power back and do what's best for you.
/r/MensRights13/05/14 10:29 PM
3

I'm sure it does suck, and I'm sorry you're having to go through it. At this point, you need to stick up for yourself. No one else will do that for you. As a side note: I might suggest editing your OP and putting in some breaks. Making it easier to read increases your chance of more responses and more input. Hang in there, OP.
/r/MensRights13/05/14 10:14 PM
6

A couple of things come to mind... Paragraphs. They are your friends. I'm assuming this isn't a troll post for now. You can't expect others to respect your boundaries if you don't enforce them. If that means losing a friendship, then that's the result. You can't control another's actions or make them behave. The whole situation sounds messed up and it sounds like you could benefit from some professional therapy.
/r/MensRights13/05/14 10:02 PM
13

I am appalled that organizations like the ACLU are not offended by what's going on. I'm normally a fan of the ACLU, but I think they have already taken a side on this issue and it's not the one I would expect.
/r/MensRights13/05/14 07:52 PM
1

There very few self-identified feminists here from what I've gathered. You might check out /r/feminismformen. That's probably the kind of sub you're looking for.
/r/MensRights11/05/14 11:56 PM
5

TIL: my personal preferences and unrealistic expectations are a sign of institutionalized discrimination.
/r/MensRights11/05/14 04:53 PM
3

I see this subject come up from time to time, and honestly I can say that in over 4 decades of life, I've never heard a rape joke told by anyone I know. Is this really that common an occurrence?
/r/MensRights11/05/14 12:33 AM
3

Shit gets real in Walmart.
/r/MensRights10/05/14 07:38 PM
5

Maybe we can refer to you as a S'MOREs and all the marshmallowy goodness that implies. Some Man...<insert vapid acronym here>. Seriously, though, using a slur in a desperate attempt to be clever doesn't do anyone any favors, least of all yourself.
/r/MensRights09/05/14 09:10 PM
2

Can you cite some specific examples of hatred of women here? A dislike of Feminism exists, sure, but seldom, if ever, do I see women in general described in hateful terms. If there are some you've noticed, though, have you added your voice in dissent of those opinions? Unlike many places on Reddit, you won't be banned for it here. I've found it's better to engage in solutions rather than whine about perceived problems. But then, what do I know? I'm 93% water...
/r/MensRights09/05/14 08:47 PM
8

I think your question is a bit straw-mannish. Who makes these judgments? I've heard feminists support as well as denigrate SAHMs and sex workers respectively. Personally, I have great respect for both institutions and feel they are worthy representations of women having choices in their lives. Further, I've not really heard this comparison discussed much in MRA circles so I suppose there would be a wide variance in opinion. As for the heart of your question - while both could be reduced to simpl…
/r/MensRights09/05/14 07:28 PM
1

I'm not sure if this poster is incredibly brilliant by forcing one to think about the situation in multiple ways, or incredibly dim and vague to the point of uselessness. At least it wasn't explicitly anti-male, so I'll give the benefit of the doubt.
/r/MensRights09/05/14 04:12 PM
5

Trigger warnings are so incredibly overused they no longer have any meaning. This is something suitable for a therapeutic setting where one intentionally makes themselves vulnerable emotionally and so must have some sort of protection against certain aspects of the experience. If someone is so easily triggered, they need therapy, medication, and a life-plan that accommodates their condition (and perhaps being in college studying harsh realities isn't the best place to be for their own good). I l…
/r/MensRights08/05/14 06:55 PM
9

That's pretty cool. Thanks for sharing with us!
/r/MensRights07/05/14 10:09 PM
2

called my best friend a whore for getting raped. My god, that's horrid.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 07:50 PM
1

My pleasure. Glad I could be of help. And please do keep us updated!
/r/MensRights02/05/14 06:42 PM
2

Yeah, he does. Legal battles tend to bring out the worst in even otherwise normal people. In this case, sounds like he's not really dealing with a "normal" person so there will probably be plenty of "crazy" before it's all said and done. Getting some legal assistance will help immensely in keeping the crazy from affecting him too badly. A lot of the battle will be just in focusing his will and keeping himself from being overwhelmed. There's an emotional toll to be paid for things like this. Make…
/r/MensRights02/05/14 05:41 PM
2

Ugh, that is maddening. I think you're spot on that some distance is required here for his own well-being. You might have him check out A Shrink for Men. There are some good resources there.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 04:56 PM
4

The usual caveats apply here - I'm not a lawyer. But, I think if he's been the custodial parent and she abandoned the kids, he has a good chance of keeping primary custody. Besides that, get him to lawyer up himself. He might be in for a very long fight.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 04:38 PM
15

There it is! I was waiting for you ITT, DIAW. :)
/r/MensRights02/05/14 04:29 PM
56

These kinds of situations are always tough and I feel for you - it's like knowing a friend or family member's spouse is cheating on them. You are under the pressure of telling the truth, while at the same time being in a position to, seemingly, cause a lot of strife. One thing to remember is that being the messenger does not mean you're the cause of any problems. That responsibility falls squarely on "Jen" in this case. Her proposed behavior is the source of the issue, not anything you will do. …
/r/MensRights02/05/14 04:09 PM
2

There have been times in my life I've felt used after sex, but I made those choices willingly (even if naively). There's no way I would punish a woman because I said "yes" or consciously and deliberately engaged in sexual activities and then felt bad about it later. Gender is irrelevant, I think. It's an unethical thing to do regardless of who does it.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:40 PM
3

Not surprised. Just pointing out the hypocrisy.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 02:43 PM
12

That's a phrase that's always irked me as well. When you're working for yourself, all of your labor is unpaid. And when in the context of a family...it seems strange that a normally collectivist movement like feminism can, on a dime, become all about individualism when it suits them.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 04:25 AM
1

Re: the document. Sadly typical gendered depiction of domestic violence that blatantly portrays only men as perpetrators and women/children as victims. My suggestion: get some Victoria specific stats on gender symmetry and lead with that. Good luck.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:59 AM
0

The paranoids Yup, that's the important bit. If they've never suffered violence before, holding such attitudes borders on paranoia or, at best, hysteria. Not a healthy way to live. If they have, moving past those events and resuming normalcy is a crucial step in recovery. Holding on to the traumatic events, again, is not a healthy way to live. Respecting the world at large is wise. Fearing it is harmful.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:43 AM
5

It's snuggles. Who doesn't like snuggles? It's nice to see some of the rigid social boundaries between men being broken down, though. Tactile interaction is an important part of bonding and doesn't always mean there's a sexual intent. More social leeway for men = good.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:38 AM
1

Wow...we got to Godwin pretty fast. I think my replies below explain what I'm saying fairly well.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:34 AM
3

She may have published seminal works in a niche area of Anthropology, but that doesn't let her off the hook for her evasion in the comments on that article. That's where my comment comes from. The lack of intellectual clash she displays is self-evident. She is, perhaps, an excellent author and researcher, but she's shown none of the rigor one would expect from a tenured professor at Harvard if she can't engage directly. Remember, that's her job. And, she cited Kimmel. I actually laughed when I r…
/r/MensRights02/05/14 03:27 AM
2

Since this is a semantic discussion, per the OP, I'm just going by the term "patriarchy" and my understanding of it. So, in relation to your example, this part would apply: But the world is definitely being run by jews. I think the other properties you've assigned, while certainly exhibiting bigotry, don't really fit. I'm obviously not a fan of the term or the concept so I'm not defending it at all. Just keeping the definition in line with my understanding of it.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 12:03 AM
3

And is it in the right sub? I think it fits in very well with domestic violence against men. Women are most frequently BPD (around 80% of those who suffer from it) and from what I've seen and understand, they are nearly universally abusive to their SO's. But I'm with you about the outrage tag being kinda confusing. If anything, this should be tagged as "Good things to know so you can avoid this kind of person".
/r/MensRights01/05/14 10:52 PM
3

Thanks for posting this. This article dovetails really well with the HuffPo article posted earlier about Borderline Personality Disorder. The woman in question's behavior is nearly textbook BPD. And to think I used to live like that...big sigh of relief.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 09:55 PM
5

That would be, yes. But as far as my understanding of "patriarchy" goes, I don't believe painting all men as oppressors is really a necessary tenant of that belief. Of course, I reject the notion entirely for multiple reasons. But believing patriarchy is just a social system that favors men over women isn't inherently bigoted. It's just stupid.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 09:48 PM
3

Very good article. Another good resource for BPD (as well as other personality disorders and male-specific emotional healing) is A Shrink For Men. Dr Tara is one sharp cookie and there are great resources there for anyone who has suffered at the hands of a personality disordered person.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 09:42 PM
9

I don't know that I would consider someone who believes in patriarchy a bigot by definition (at least, not with that being the only qualifier). Misguided, yes. Factually inaccurate, yes. Holding an untenable position, most certainly. Bigoted, though? Even though many believers are, in fact, bigots, I don't think it's because of their belief in that particular societal explanation that makes them that way. If anything, the cause and effect are reversed, and a bigot against men is more likely to b…
/r/MensRights01/05/14 06:59 PM
9

Point well taken. I suppose I should have been more specific in which side of the political spectrum gets the biggest pass.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 02:37 PM
1

Yup! I saw that. Thank you!
/r/MensRights01/05/14 02:25 PM
2

What's rather strange about this poster - it seems to imply that women, in general, are objects of desire and have something other people want. One would have to be quite self-entitled and self-important to hold that view without dissonance. So, I'm calling "projection" on this one.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 02:17 PM
11

Thank you. It still amazes me how being "edgy" can often be confused with "enlightened thinking". I'm glad Harvard has some standards still and hasn't fallen prey to that fallacy.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 02:11 PM
5

Post read comment: what I find interesting is the assertion that the comment "not all men" is used to make men the center of the discussion. If anything, it's more often used to remove focus from the male gender at large and refocus the discussion to the actual perpetrators of whatever is being discussed - often both men and women. I'm reminded of Major Clipton at the end of Bridge Over the River Quai..."Madness! Madness!".
/r/MensRights01/05/14 02:08 PM
4

I've found it best to challenge issues and not ideology when dealing with people in those spaces. If you refute "patriarchy", it gets bogged down in a lot of semantics and can easily become an unwieldy, unproductive, and incoherent discussion. Focusing on facts about a particular issue - that 50% of DV victims are male and the lack of resources available to them, for example - narrows the focus and drives home the point better without generating a lot of static. We're still catching up in the ac…
/r/MensRights01/05/14 01:56 PM
1

I've done the same thing many times. :) No worries. Update when you get a chance. I'm interested to read what transpired.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 01:42 PM
1

I think we can all see why she's the "dump-ee" here. My advice to you: don't try to make sense of nonsense. She's a lost cause and further contact with her will just be crazy-making. As for your reaction - were you out of line calling her names? Sure, you were. Don't get so far in that you drop to that level next time. That being said, everyone has their breaking point and she pushed you to yours. I wouldn't be too hard on myself if I were in your shoes.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 01:31 PM
25

Harvard has repeatedly denied that Theidon's advocacy for alleged sexual assault victims, including her dust-up with me and others in the comments section of the article where she's quoted, had anything to do with its decision to deny her tenure. This is probably true. Political stance doesn't seem to have much bearing on academic careers (Susan Sontag having been a stunning example). What is true, however, given the nature of her comments - lacking intellectual rigor or honesty seems to be a ma…
/r/MensRights01/05/14 12:58 PM
3

I think perhaps you forgot to include the link in your post. Maybe add it when you get back? Have a good day at work.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 12:53 PM
2

I reject the notion of privilege for anyone. Just because you're treated with the rights and respect due to you as a human being doesn't mean you're above other people and are "special". Privilege doesn't cause injustice.
/r/MensRights30/04/14 06:02 PM
2

Ah, cool. Thank you!
/r/MensRights29/04/14 04:57 PM
4

This is one of those "Whaaaaa....?" moments. I read that book as a child and read it to my daughter when she was a child. It seemed to me to encourage play between fathers and children more than violence. It's been a while, though, so maybe the specifics have been lost to me.
/r/MensRights29/04/14 04:36 PM
16

Succinctly: more empathy for men, more respect for women. More specifically, I'd first love to see policy and legal changes enacted that protect men. For example: Inclusion of men under VAWA such that publicly funded Domestic Violence resources can no longer discriminate against male victims of DV. Also, revoking the Duluth Model and Primary Aggressor policies and training law enforcement personnel on how to identify aggressors without regard to gender. Legal prohibition against circumcision/MGM…
/r/MensRights28/04/14 03:22 PM
5

And thank you.
/r/MensRights27/04/14 04:00 PM
5

You've got a deal. And if you ever make it to New Orleans, first round is on me.
/r/MensRights27/04/14 02:49 AM
9

It was really disappointing, for sure. From a situation like that, an MRA is born.
/r/MensRights27/04/14 02:46 AM
6

It did at the time, for sure. But, by the same token, it actually helped me figure a lot of things out. Without those events forcing me to get some help, I don't think I could be as happy as I am today.
/r/MensRights27/04/14 02:26 AM
20

Basically, when trying to escape an abusive situation several years ago, I thought I could use the local Domestic Violence hotline as a resource. I was subjected to about 10 minutes of screening (very subtle questions..."why did she hit you?", "did you hit her first, maybe?", "have you ever gotten angry or violent with her?", etc.). Once they established I wasn't the perpetrator, I was told they couldn't do anything for me because I was a man - I didn't have a car, but they wouldn't be able to o…
/r/MensRights27/04/14 02:17 AM
1

Doh! Absolutely.
/r/MensRights27/04/14 12:54 AM
42

What's sad is that rather than acknowledging and moving on, she's internalized being a victim to the point she believes all people who share the gender of those that have hurt her owe her something. This is the stuff of which bigots and emotionally unhealthy people are made. When I think of my own path through life... It was my mother, not all women, who abused and neglected me. It was an older girl in the neighborhood, not all women, who bullied me, broke my glasses, regularly beat me up, and m…
/r/MensRights26/04/14 10:53 PM
6

She is (at this juncture) the only woman that I know of verbalizing MRA in a public forum. There are quite a few, actually. In fact, probably the majority of our public face is female. Have you heard of Karen Straughan, Christina Hoff Sommers, or Alison Tieman? If not, I'd strongly recommend you read them or view their articles and videos.
/r/MensRights26/04/14 08:19 PM
0

It's nearly impossible to avoid a person based on their political beliefs. There may be parts of the country where there are higher percentages of people on the left/right spectrum, but really, even then it's impossible to tell for any individual. My only suggestion to you, per your question, is to do what people normally do - relate to others based on the things you have in common. We all have our work, families, lives, friends, personal struggles, etc. Politics doesn't need to be a part of tha…
/r/MensRights26/04/14 07:18 PM
6

Best advice I can give you - have him check into recording laws in his state. If it only requires one party consent, have him record everything. Also, consulting an attorney can never hurt.
/r/MensRights25/04/14 10:49 PM
25

Seek help. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 like right now.
/r/MensRights25/04/14 08:11 PM
3

Look at the pass that they give for his actions, after all he is one of them and he merely insulted one of us(Heterosexual men). TIL: homosexual men never raise children. Who knew... Seriously, though, GTFO with that homophobic "homosexual men are the natural enemies of heterosexual men" crap. They aren't out to get you.
/r/MensRights25/04/14 05:40 PM
2

Same. He's built up a lot of credibility in my view over the years so I'm inclined to give the benefit of the doubt here.
/r/MensRights25/04/14 05:35 PM
2

Absolutely. Like I said, challenging a broad statement is a very appropriate thing to do. And the beauty of this place...we won't get banned for it! Woot!
/r/MensRights25/04/14 04:37 PM
1

Such a thing is a threat to public safety and, really, not a form of censorship. Ideas being displayed on an internet forum is hardly a threat - there was no call to violence or inappropriate behavior. So, at best, you're working from a position of false equivalence. That being said, I think challenging a broad statement like that is appropriate most of the time.
/r/MensRights25/04/14 04:28 PM
38

Well said, YAC. Additionally, I would add that because the MHRM is relatively young, the large scale activism and policy changes one saw from feminism in the last few decades is still a ways away. The criticism of MRAs doing nothing lacks context - note the amount of resistance groups like CAFE receive when they try to raise awareness. We are, in essence, at about the point of the early second wave feminists (circa 1960). For some of us, outright activism has to be a guerrilla effort lest we be …
/r/MensRights25/04/14 03:57 PM
11

And there was much rejoicing
/r/MensRights24/04/14 09:32 PM
10

What's sad is I'm not so sure u/Coagulate is a troll. I think she actually believes this stuff.
/r/MensRights24/04/14 08:24 PM
21

And stop grouping all females together, that IS sexist. The irony of this, compared to your posting history, is truly a laughable combination. I wonder if you have the maturity to recognize how blatantly bigoted you are. I mean, these are gems: A male. Boy did I learn how not worth it they are, haha! Males throwing temper tantrums, what else is new? Oh, here we go. Men lying, again. Can't just admit he bought the sweater, no, he has to lie to "save face". You know who else men do that for? When …
/r/MensRights24/04/14 07:51 PM
2

Brilliant and a fine example of how this issue should be handled. Tort law exists for a reason. If there are specific claims of discrimination, they need to be addressed in a specific fashion regardless of the genders involved.
/r/MensRights24/04/14 05:46 PM
2

You might want to take a look at some discussions centering around the idea of "female privilege". That should be easily found with a search of the forum.
/r/MensRights24/04/14 02:24 AM
1

Fair enough. Points well taken.
/r/MensRights23/04/14 11:58 PM
1

Yes, 50% is a fairly well-founded stat. Look for info from Murray Strauss and Denise Hines. They've done quite a bit of research into IPV rates.
/r/MensRights23/04/14 11:11 PM
1

OP asked what he should do. I'm pretty sure the language I used stressed strongly that this was my own opinion. As for what I mean by "these kinds of issues" - stuff that falls higher on Maslow's hierarchy. Considering that men don't have complete bodily autonomy (like you pointed out), are often denied basic sustenance and safety (like DV resources, victimization levels, or policies that address homelessness) and lack basic social support (like bias in family courts and sentencing, and lack of …
/r/MensRights23/04/14 11:08 PM
2

DV is a big one. 500+ domestic violence shelters in the US and fewer than 20 accept males, despite men being 50% of the victims. You should be able to get corroborating info for that from the sidebar or a quick Google (I'm feeling lazy at the moment and besides...it's your schoolwork :P ).
/r/MensRights23/04/14 10:32 PM
2

None at all, I tell ya. It almost makes me miss manboobz. Almost...
/r/MensRights23/04/14 08:59 PM
3

Trolling efforts have been abysmal lately. Step up your game. 2/10.
/r/MensRights23/04/14 08:33 PM
2

Impressive. I bailed at about 1:10 or so. I guess my tolerance for condescension from a early-20's Tumblrina has gone down significantly.
/r/MensRights23/04/14 07:45 PM
0

In some cases it can be a gross injustice to the men involved, absolutely. That being said, though, each case is different and the needs of the child do have to take precedence. I think any sort of reform should address those situations where child support is being abused. That could be requiring a custodial parent to submit some sort of affidavit of expenses or having both parents pay into a common fund that can be used for child related expenses, or some other solution. If it can be addressed …
/r/MensRights23/04/14 05:16 PM
3

It's your money so you can do what you want, but honestly, you might consider putting that cash to other uses. I'm sure there are scant few, if any, DV shelters in your area that accept men. Perhaps a donation explicitly for that purpose, or starting a local campaign to get one going would be more satisfying in the long run. As for the restaurant's policy - it's not justifiable, no. Maybe you can arrange a boycott. Or start with a letter to the ownership of that restaurant voicing your opinion. …
/r/MensRights23/04/14 01:02 PM
1

I think that's a good idea.
/r/MensRights23/04/14 12:08 PM
1

There is already something in place to handle this - an adversarial system of law that favors innocence over guilt and puts a high value on evidentiary standards. It's been in existence for centuries and is continually being refined. Things go haywire when kangaroo courts take over. They punish the innocent at times, and offer zero protection from actual perpetrators to the public at large. I mean, so what if an actual rapist is kicked out of school? Somehow that means he/she won't do it again t…
/r/MensRights22/04/14 10:13 PM
2

I've seen a few posters that identify as both MRA and feminist, but I think it's pretty rare.
/r/MensRights22/04/14 02:17 AM
6

I'm sorry those people gave you such a hard time. However, I very much respect you for founding your perspective on facts and compassion. Kudos for that.
/r/MensRights22/04/14 12:01 AM
1

Well, bringing it up when people are conveying their personal experiences would be inappropriate, I think. Besides that, though, I suppose any discussion about the legal and policy ramifications, police procedures, etc. would be a good time and such a discussion would be topical. Like all things, though your mileage will vary from group to group.
/r/MensRights21/04/14 07:36 PM
10

If I understand her point correctly, it begs the question: when is a better time to talk about false accusations? I suspect, in that group at least, never is the unfortunate answer.
/r/MensRights19/04/14 10:52 PM
4

This is obviously satire (even though it will be quote-mined to hell and taken seriously by some numbskulls out there). But, it raises an interesting question. How does one become a better female MRA? Let's see here... Educate yourself on the issues, facts, and concepts of Men's Rights. Advocate against societal gender norms and support men who choose not to follow them. Engage in local activism on issues pertinent to men. Engage detractors and opponents with respect, knowledge of the facts and …
/r/MensRights19/04/14 08:06 PM
36

Now this is a far far better approach than your book. Well done, young sir. Well done, indeed! Keep us posted. I tried to do something similar here in my city and had at least 2 of those calls result in actual laughter. I'm really heartened to hear that's not the case everywhere.
/r/MensRights18/04/14 10:28 PM
1

Thank you, I appreciate that. I don't know if it's feminism, societal norms that see women as not being agents, or just master manipulation by people with personality disorders. Or, maybe it's some combination. I tend to think it's more manipulation by people that are very good at it, to be honest. I've seen enough cases of women being absolutely crucified for cheating that I think that's the clearer explanation. When that happened, the reasons behind the infidelity were far different and often …
/r/MensRights18/04/14 09:05 PM
8

I've seen this first hand and it's not pretty. Short story - during a 12 year marriage, my wife had a total of 3 affairs (the first when we'd been married less than a year). Her tactics were similar to many people who cheat (especially women, but also men) - she sowed the seeds of her own self-justification with others. She had our respective families convinced I was the most inept, unappreciative and inattentive husband in the world. Cheaters do this regularly (as do abusers). They will complai…
/r/MensRights18/04/14 08:18 PM
7

Heartbreaking news. Pierce has been a real standout for the cause and I admire his uncanny ability to be both precise and approachable when dealing with very sensitive issues. Still, I wish him all the best. We all have our lives to lead. Thank you for your work and the great example you've provided for us, Pierce!
/r/MensRights18/04/14 05:36 PM
1

Ack! Spork! If I thought that would be the starting point for a platform, I would have spent more time on it. Now I feel sort of obligated to expand the list.
/r/MensRights18/04/14 05:26 PM
2

She really expands on that in her various YouTube videos as well. I know those are harder to cite, but you'll find some excellent definition and expansion of her ideas there.
/r/MensRights18/04/14 03:22 PM
3

Eye opening comment - Freedom Philosophy35 minutes ago Are these movies made to sell to bitter single mothers?
/r/MensRights18/04/14 03:21 PM
4

Christina Hoff Sommers has done a tremendous amount of scholarship on this subject. I would start with her materials and books.
/r/MensRights18/04/14 03:12 PM
7

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a single MHRM issue that does not end up with some sort of egalitarian solution. Much of what is typically proposed here is establishing legal and political protections and rights that are currently lacking for men. I've yet to see an issue where MRAs have sought out a zero-sum solution to things. Maybe if you provided some example of a non-equity perspective that pertains to the MHRM that would help illustrate what you're asking about.
/r/MensRights18/04/14 03:02 AM
1

You might try /r/FeMRADebates
/r/MensRights18/04/14 02:34 AM
4

A thick skin is necessary for reading any sort of commentary from an extremist. I mean, who really wants to live their life in constant outrage? Some words I like to live by: don't try to make sense of nonsense.
/r/MensRights17/04/14 07:56 PM
4

Venting is a normal thing in settings like this, I think. When you see something that seems misogynistic, call it out. Changing the tone of our own posts and comments is the way to go. Add more quality and balance to the discussion so that it drowns out the other stuff. The only other option is silencing people - that's something we decidedly don't want to do.
/r/MensRights17/04/14 06:38 PM
8

There's plenty of vitriol sent towards the ideology of feminism, but honestly, actual sexist comments against women in general are pretty rare here (and are usually downvoted to hell). Can you give some pertinent examples?
/r/MensRights17/04/14 06:16 PM
6

Assuming you're here in good faith, I'll give you a brief description of some of what the MHRM is fighting for: Equality in family courts. Men are, routinely, discriminated against in divorce, child custody, and child support judgments. Domestic Violence. Despite being 50% of the victims of IPV, men are not only denied publicly funded services because they are men, many victims are actually falsely arrested because of "Primary Aggressor" policies. Mental Health. When the vast majority of suicide…
/r/MensRights17/04/14 03:55 PM
19

This story absolutely sickens me on so many levels - as a human being, a man, and a father.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 07:47 PM
2

They are watching
/r/MensRights16/04/14 04:14 PM
7

LOL! Very true. Flat earthers are, invariably, their own worst enemy. :)
/r/MensRights16/04/14 05:12 AM
5

Yeah, I'm not on the false-flag-self-inflicted bandwagon, per se, but there was a lot to that story that was incredibly fishy. Not the least of which being the timing. We may never know the whole truth, but in some ways the lack of information suggests that it wasn't related to anyone affiliated with the MHRM. I'll take no news as good news at this point.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 02:41 AM
0

Strangely, I would say the same about TRP. The is of the matter is that women are as varied as men and...gasp...have their own sex drives, need for companionship, personalities, desires, and ability to commit as men do. It's messier than neato theories stemming from incomplete evo-psych and broad generalizations about gender, but that is what is. The species will continue to roll out babies, people will fall in love, relationships will be created, and all kinds of other good things will happen w…
/r/MensRights16/04/14 02:31 AM
33

I think you've changed my view on this. At first I was sort of disgusted that such disinformation was being disseminated so readily. On second thought, however, the results of that survey were so far skewed that anyone with any sense would recognize them as being absurd. I mean, there are probably 10 Ultra-Conservative, pot-head atheists in the entire world.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 02:22 AM
4

I don't have any solid news (I've been watching for it as well), but I suspect that since we haven't heard anything new, it's either still under investigation or (more likely) involved a non-MRA so wasn't considered newsworthy.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 02:19 AM
0

Read or not, respond or not - that's your call. It's a shame you will choose not to engage or refute what I said, though. It seems like you're just giving up. Pity. Edit: I'm surprised you've never read Locke or Hume or any of the other Classical Liberal thinkers.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 02:14 AM
13

I agree, yeah. The implications of it being entertaining (I mean...it's porn, so it's supposed to be entertaining, right?) and outrage inducing seems incongruent. I can appreciate where the mods were going with it, but a better term is in order.
/r/MensRights16/04/14 01:02 AM
9

I admit to having a bit of outrage by proxy right now. I'm not sure how appropriate it would be to take any direct action since I'm neither an educator or even a Canadian citizen. But I feel like these are the kinds of things that are the most easily challenged. In this case, it's blatant, explicit, excludes a significant number of men, and has value for men that they are being denied. It might be worth sending an email to the newspaper there - perhaps it's newsworthy, especially in light of the…
/r/MensRights16/04/14 12:52 AM
0

Truth!
/r/MensRights16/04/14 12:48 AM
2

They examine social aspects of sexual dimorphism outside the cultural marxist framework. They just use it from a pua perspective while we go about one from an equality one. Deconstructing social norms is always good, I agree. There's no issue there with raising questions. Although there are plenty of people in the MHRM that do the same without the extra baggage, so it's not an exclusive trait. As I type this, they have over 800 users reading /r/TheRedPill, more than twice the amount on this sub.…
/r/MensRights16/04/14 12:47 AM
0

For whatever reason, it doesn't always feel like men and women are on equal footing regarding the knowledge base to play the non-LTR game. TRP is probably the best available knowledge base for men looking to play the non-LTR game in their 20's and 30's. If you're not going to look for LTR's, it seems inevitable that gamesmanship and a certain amount of objectification and commodification is of humans is inevitable. I think this is true, to an extent. The Hookup Culture does rely on a different s…
/r/MensRights16/04/14 12:40 AM
-1

You have a twisted view of what victimization is: No, not really. My view of a victimization mindset is pretty accurate - there's a distinct difference between changing something that is unhealthy and changing something to fit into a role. If a person is altering their natural healthy proclivities it's because they believe there's something "wrong" with them. Thus, it necessitates adopting the role of victim. They're broken. Not good enough. At the mercy of those darn women withholding sex from …
/r/MensRights16/04/14 12:29 AM
2

Honestly, I can't see much overlap. I mean, some of the foundational ideas in TRP really don't do men any favors. Alphas and betas, fitting into a false persona, equating sexual success with masculine ideals, etc. If you think there are some legitimate overlap points that are not detrimental to men I'd be very interested in hearing about them.
/r/MensRights15/04/14 10:39 PM
14

Ah, indeed. Glad you clarified that. Thanks. Are you a member of this organization and is being a member of that union required for being a teacher in Ontario? Seems to me there's basis here to make some fuss if you're inclined to do so. Also, is there anything we can do to help? Maybe setup a petition or something?
/r/MensRights15/04/14 10:33 PM
14

Are these closed to male teachers or was the verbiage just worded to attract women? I think this would be a great thing to expose if it's the former. Have you contacted any of the people listed on that page and asked about male attendees?
/r/MensRights15/04/14 10:19 PM
6

Great question. Functionally, I would: Force publicly funded Domestic Violence resources to accept men (privately funded shelters can still be gender specific, if they so choose). Remove Primary Aggressor policies from police departments and give them training to recognize actual aggressors regardless of gender. Mandatory minimum sentencing for sex crimes against minors, regardless of gender of either perpetrator or victim. Anonymity for both victim and accused for sex crimes until a verdict is …
/r/MensRights15/04/14 10:11 PM
2

Damn, you called it right OP. The stupidity level in that article is pretty high.
/r/MensRights15/04/14 09:51 PM
1

You obviously don't know who I am. We've interacted here before, I believe, but I have no idea what your personal story is, no. If it's relevant, though, feel free to share. There is no victim in the RP mindset. There RP mindset is "This is how shit is, this is how shit works; take advantage of it." Hrmm...so tell me how adopting a frame of reference to the world that says "I have no luck with women, thus I am a beta, now I must change to an alpha so that I can be on equal terms with women" not …
/r/MensRights15/04/14 09:48 PM
-2

And what is the red pill doing that is so misogynistic? I admire your naivete, to be honest. I have to ask you in all seriousness, though - why would you adopt an ideology that places men in a victim mindset? Why adopt a frame of reference for interpersonal relationships that is, inherently, dysfunctional? I mean, how many times do you have to read stories about guys that get a girlfriend, cant keep up their "alpha frame" and get dumped before you figure out that maybe the empowerment offered by…
/r/MensRights15/04/14 08:47 PM
-4

That's, sadly, true.
/r/MensRights15/04/14 08:34 PM
1

Eh...I think it has more to do with the age of the women/girls in question, really. Girls that age have very little awareness of their sexual power. Some will, eventually, come to terms with it and accept, or even embrace, it with a healthy attitude. Others will use it as a weapon. And still others will use it as those girls did - as a reason to be a victim and enforce a double standard. It might not seem fair, but really this is a matter of picking your battles. There's not a lot of reward to j…
/r/MensRights15/04/14 08:14 PM
–

We don't need to counter misogyny in the MHRM, we need only disavow the Red Pill.
/r/MensRights15/04/14 07:06 PM
4

Hopefully he can now afford a good attorney and get at least the spousal support adjusted.
/r/MensRights15/04/14 06:57 PM
4

Excellent reply!
/r/MensRights12/04/14 05:09 PM
1

I predict a tune change once that court ordered child support kicks in.
/r/MensRights12/04/14 12:52 AM
2

I like this.
/r/MensRights11/04/14 11:38 PM
6

Would anyone actually want to take a class from someone who doesn't understand competitive metaphors are appropriate for competitive environments?
/r/MensRights11/04/14 09:18 PM
2

Exactly!
/r/MensRights11/04/14 07:40 PM
2

Probably just the daily brigade. Today's issue: let's paint the MHRM as homophobic. This too shall pass.
/r/MensRights11/04/14 05:22 PM
3

Given the trollish nature of visitors here, not to mention the ability to submit multiple entries into that survey, it would be horribly naive to think that's the sum of views presented by this sub or even remotely representative. But thank you for outing your racism/homophobia. You may go now.
/r/MensRights11/04/14 05:17 PM
1

Sleeves? I didn't see any sleeves? :)
/r/MensRights11/04/14 05:02 PM
2

Not being hostile, just asking a question. You've answered it, so thanks.
/r/MensRights11/04/14 04:39 PM
0

And is there a reason we should care about this?
/r/MensRights11/04/14 04:20 PM
4

That was a pretty damn good vid. The kid presents the issues well and took a very balanced approach.
/r/MensRights11/04/14 04:07 PM
2

This is great! We're starting to see more and more of this sort of thing. I can only hope that the momentum gained from increased awareness ensures that men can get the services and help they need.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 07:06 PM
9

Really think about this and be honest with yourself. Two people are arguing and you want to hit on them romantically. Does that seem like a good idea? Did you think that somehow the force of your personality would make the situation what you wanted it to be? Obviously, it's not and you don't strike me as being arrogant so I suspect you didn't have an inflated sense of ability (hyper-agency...yuck). So, your expectation was that somehow you would both calm them down and give them a favorable opin…
/r/MensRights10/04/14 05:17 PM
5

Pretty much this. Butting in to an argument to try and "rescue" a couple of women is a very white-knight move. OP isn't as de-feminized as he claims to be. Needs more work on that.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 04:35 PM
0

I can completely believe this. We're talking New Orleans here. Anyone who lives or goes to school here should be on guard regardless. This post is practically redundant, but I'm not surprised it's happening.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 04:00 PM
6

I'm ashamed to say I wasn't aware of this petition. Thanks for posting this. Perhaps the mods can sticky for a while?
/r/MensRights10/04/14 03:53 PM
2

Eh...it's funny-ish. I don't like the male stereotypes. Picking on the socially awkward is pretty unkind. On the one hand, I can imagine the few men that are actually like that can be annoying to the women around them. But, on the other hand, I have to wonder where society went wrong where some men have to turn to archaic archetypes to navigate courtship. I think this just highlights the lack of reasonable presentation in the media, and society in general, of healthy male sexuality.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 03:50 PM
3

You might like this vid from Erin Pizzey
/r/MensRights10/04/14 03:27 PM
2

That is more than a little fucked up right there.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 03:11 PM
2

Yeah, there are a lot of highly charged topics. Being a mod here would be rough.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 06:16 AM
1

Truthfully, KR, not really. :) While I think we could promote a bit more civility, I don't have any real solutions at the moment as far as what the mods might do. I still think community policing is the better overall strategy. But I will always be happy to jump into the discussions and try to contribute.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 05:02 AM
1

I don't think this is enough anymore. I think there are some things that can be clear rule violations that won't drift so far that it can be called 'tone policing' - telling others to go die being one of them. That's probably worth a meta discussion on its own, tbh. A generic "no personal attacks" policy might be workable, but such a thing is open for abuse and/or misinterpretation. Maybe send the idea to modmail and see what they think?
/r/MensRights10/04/14 04:29 AM
5

To be honest, I can't hold the mods responsible for the actions of independent members, or even the whole sub, when they act outside the friendly confines of r/MR. /u/razzliox made a mistake with his original posting by not blanking out the names, but I'm positive that was not intentional. By the same token, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he's made his apologies to the mods over in /r/lgbt for that oversight. Inside the sub, though, I agree to an extent. We can probably all do with …
/r/MensRights10/04/14 04:04 AM
2

Maybe the best thing for now is to just let your friend know you're there for him if he needs you. Also, if you can bring it up gently, you might want to send him a link to ToySoldiers (third time in the last 15 minutes I've given this link...odd and somewhat sad). Sometimes knowing you're not alone is a major step in healing. I hope your friends get all the help and support they need. And once again, I commend you on your empathy and desire to help. You seem like a very good friend.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 02:57 AM
1

You might want to start with ToySoldiers. There are a lot of powerful stories there.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 02:36 AM
2

This is just my take on this, but I'm not so sure there's anything you can do personally, OP. Other, wiser, members of the sub may come along with better ideas. The victims in this scenario would have to come forward and you can certainly be there to corroborate what you can and support them while they do it. Ultimately, though, they will have to tell the story and that's something you really can't force someone to do. The other option would be to talk to the boys in question and let them know y…
/r/MensRights10/04/14 02:33 AM
2

It was an act of generosity on your part. Said troll should be grateful. Grateful, I tell ya! But noooo...they bailed without getting their undeserved rewards. A total bastige.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 12:53 AM
1

Perhaps if you accepted Jesus as your personal lord and savior you would feel less of a need to act out so harshly. Such hate and vitriol is terrible for your soul. If also wreaks havoc on your complexion. That might explain the eczema.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 12:05 AM
1

A 6? That's giving a pretty high score for this meager effort. You must be in a generous mood today, JDD.
/r/MensRights10/04/14 12:02 AM
1

I'm sorry your level of bitterness has reached the point of having to lash out at a reddit sub without actually understanding what it's all about. I hope you find some peace some day.
/r/MensRights09/04/14 11:52 PM
9

That is excellent! The gender neutral language they put in fits very well. Well done!
/r/MensRights09/04/14 11:33 PM
17

Wow. I hadn't seen the post with the mod information, but I agree with you. That was pretty crappy if people were being abusive towards the mods there.
/r/MensRights09/04/14 09:40 PM
2

Luckily I wasn't holding my breath for that one. Although I guess it's safe to unclench now? :)
/r/MensRights09/04/14 07:49 PM
4

Disappointing to see that. Gay men and transwomen suffer horrible discrimination by virtue of having a Y chromosome.
/r/MensRights09/04/14 07:32 PM
15

This has been noteworthy around town for some time. I've been pleasantly surprised with the reactions of most of the local folks I talk to - I haven't heard anyone give the expected "Niiiiice!" response. Then again, that sort of behavior isn't that uncommon around town. This is why we avoid Bourbon St. Drunk assholes come in all shapes, sizes, and genders.
/r/MensRights09/04/14 04:54 PM
13

I'm sure that felt pretty good. Glad to hear there was some backlash, finally. I think you'll find that universities and the internet are very sheltered realms - radical bigotry can run amok (Tumblr, for example) unchecked. Once in the real world of jobs, being around people, starting families and having friendships/relationships, people tend to soften and sometimes discard what they thought entirely. Only the truly damaged people keep those attitudes with them. Let's hope, for that young lady's…
/r/MensRights09/04/14 02:16 PM
3

Hush with your radical ideas....treating men as autonomous individuals with their own worth and not just in how they can best be of use to society is just crazy talk. /s, in case you were wondering. :)
/r/MensRights09/04/14 02:10 PM
3

You know, OP, you're right! I think I've had a complete change of heart here, thanks to your incredibly thoughtful and probing question. I'm going to stop volunteering at the mission, stop donating to every cause I currently donate to, stop being involved in gender politics completely (I mean, who cares about pro-choice, right? Certainly not when there's wars to stop!), and the animal rescue shelter...meh...I still like playing with the puppies there so they'll get a couple of hours a week. In f…
/r/MensRights09/04/14 01:59 PM
1

Naaah. Obviously my Swedish sucks and I need the help.
/r/MensRights08/04/14 10:41 PM
1

That's exactly how I pictured it! Straight from the Boticelli. :) It shall be shared vigorously, I assure you. Gratzia! :)
/r/MensRights08/04/14 07:44 PM
3

I agree. Being a father is more than just being a utility around the house to change diapers. Let's face it, men need that bonding time for themselves as well as women do. And, it's better for the entire family - mom, dad, and kid. This came up last week and there was some discussion, but I think Francesca's comments are completely contrary to everything the MHRM wants to achieve.
/r/MensRights08/04/14 07:29 PM
4

Hypoagency on the halfshell. Love this. I'm stealing it.
/r/MensRights08/04/14 06:14 PM
3

I think the term you're looking for is "projection"...
/r/MensRights08/04/14 04:19 PM
20

The damn I should have said that retort: If I was so privileged, I could have you fired regardless.
/r/MensRights08/04/14 04:00 PM
3

I've found the best approach to stuff like this is to just continue the comment. What she said isn't inherently wrong except for the fact that it excludes male victims and implies only males are perpetrators (maybe an offhand nod to "rape culture"?). So, make the correction for her: "Yes, it's horrible that women can be raped by their intimate partners. And men suffer from this as well and it's often underreported and misunderstood. Men and women alike have a right to consent".
/r/MensRights08/04/14 03:54 PM
4

It's not really the gist, just one of 3 arguments. But in relation to that point, I'm not talking about just throwing a bone, but removing a legitimate obstruction. I mean, if LPS were available, would you think it fair or workable to have that in an environment where a woman couldn't get a dose of Plan B or an abortion?
/r/MensRights06/04/14 12:34 AM
4

Meanwhile, though it seems counterintuitive, eliminating abortion would actually help men by eliminating the moral hazard that exists when it is possible, but not certain, to escape parenthood by abortion. This seems to support a more traditional approach. I.e., engaging in sex is procreation, so the ultimate consequences of that act is not ambiguous. Is that what you mean?
/r/MensRights06/04/14 12:22 AM
2

Would you agree with the premise that abortion needs to be more available before LPS can be given any actual chance of being enacted?
/r/MensRights05/04/14 10:39 PM
1

Perhaps it would be better to help the OP adjust the message than attacking him. We're all in this together.
/r/MensRights05/04/14 10:09 PM
2

I think it's a good idea to back efforts to bring Vasalgel to market, absolutely. That will be, perhaps, as revolutionary as the pill was in terms of reproductive freedoms and society in general. However, I don't think that Vasalgel will be the ultimate cure-all for the issue. Consider that, even in the age of the pill, unwanted pregnancies are still an issue (albeit an issue that has dwindled over time). Not to mention that it would be dependent on a technological advance that, at least as of n…
/r/MensRights05/04/14 10:06 PM
0

Telling the pro-life portion of the men's rights movement we should ignore what we've learned about the issue because politics doesn't make a good argument. So, if I understand you just with regards to this, you would object to the idea because it would alienate the pro-life segment of the MHRM. Is that correct? I didn't want to engage in a life/choice debate, though I respect your opinion on the matter. That's why I'm not replying to the other parts of your post. Rather, I'm hoping to keep this…
/r/MensRights05/04/14 09:59 PM
1

It might be worth testing the system then - start a Misogny page and see what actually happens. When it's taken down (as it most likely will be), show them the double standard, and make a fuss.
/r/MensRights05/04/14 09:55 PM
13

While I agree that awareness is perhaps our biggest current battle, I don't think targeting one side of the political spectrum is in our best interests. What happens so often is that once you align with a "side", the other side will polarize against you, regardless of the validity of your stance. I think an equal or even neutral approach is best. Perhaps target groups that support our particular set of issues rather than ones grouped by ideology or political stance.
/r/MensRights05/04/14 08:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter