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Blue_wafflestomp Archive

View 0 posts and 39 comments by Blue_wafflestomp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Women don't love people, they love the way people "make them feel." That's something neither of you can control over the long term. Even if you do everything storybook right, after enough time the endorphin plateaus and that's when women translate that change to the relationship is the source of all their life problems. Accept that and life and any future relationships (some men are gluttons for hell) get a lot easier.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 03:43 PM
4

They say that divorce is the second most traumatic thing an adult can go through after the death of a child. Death of parents, friends, etc doesn't come close. Saying that just so you know it's more or less "supposed" to feel like this. One day at a time, one hour at a time some days. It'll get easier but for now just get through the moments of the day. It's not time that heals, but experiences. If you sit and wallow, and wait to be "better" it'll take longer and hurt deeper. Do things while you…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 02:10 PM
5

Culturally it is considered a badge of honor, proof that she is a strong independent woman. There is no downside to divorce for women, aside from the erosion of their own internal character.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 12:06 PM
2

Closeness engages different and deeper rooted behaviour, so the fact that your anger doesn't occur with other aspects of your life isn't a pass at all. It's still your anger. You'll do the same shit with anyone who you develop a deeper connection with down the road. Solve it now. You don't have to keep the wife, and nobody here can damn or absolve her, that's for you to figure out. But no matter what happens, it is 1000% better down the road if you own your shit with extreme zeal. If you're in m…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:10 PM
6

Sounds like you've assessed and owned your part of this. That in and of itself is a huge improvement, let alone building better habits and tools moving forward. You only have levers to operate of your own self, so keep up the good work. It does not so much matter where you are at today (emotionally, financially, physically, take your pick) it only matters your trajectory. It's ok and normal to be plunged back into the grief and pain. Emotional wounding is easy to re-rupture. Know that it is not …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 01:53 PM
15

Your kids would be more fucked up by growing up in a dysfunctional fake marriage. The most influential things on them are not that mom and dad live together, they are that mom and dad love and support them, give them safe ways to fail, and help them to find the forward path when they lose it. You won't be able to provide those things living with a she devil of a woman who views you as a he devil of a man. We are most attuned to undertones as children, and the things you think you can hide by sta…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:31 PM
1

Sadly, this is the blueprint for many divorces. I've been there, not that long ago myself. It gets better for sure. Keep your chin up, you sound like you have a good grasp on reality and that'll help a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 03:33 PM
4

if your fiancee is not head-over-heels in love and burning with genuine desire for you Sir, this statement is bad intel. These feelings 100% WILL CHANGE. In fact, if this is the tone early in the relationship, it is a good indicator of how far the pendulum will swing the other way when the novelty wears off and the real relationship starts. Fire early, ash later. As a man, we have to look at how she handles things outside the relationship, to best guess at how she will handle the actual relation…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 03:03 PM
18

Your wife didn't have a therapist, she had an emotional prostitute.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 02:55 PM
1

Anything from pictures of unbecoming humor/memes or behavior, to locations, company kept. It's the ultimate "anything you say can and will be used against you."
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 01:08 AM
5

I would add, nuke your social media. If you're too addicted to delete your accounts, block her and everyone she is friends with. There are no mutual friends. Everyone is on a side and if it isn't yours, it's hers. Ive known several men who got a little extra screwed because social media was used against them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 11:21 PM
4

There 100% is a delusion required for her to hold her beliefs so adamantly. There is no way around that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 12:40 PM
16

... justifiably pissed and terrified about the election... ...she’d never feel safe returning to the US... Major therapy needed. These are not the stances of a remotely rational mind. It is possible to be unhappy about the election and still understand it truly affects you basically zero. Like another said, she's a lunatic. You might be too. Seek help.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 12:39 PM
9

because I’m unwilling to cut my Republican family out of our lives she doesn’t think she can stay married to me Your wife need some serious therapy. This is not the mark of someone who is mentally stable. (likewise for reverse roles) I can’t believe this asshole has literally broken my family. You need some serious therapy. This is one tiny bit less delusional than your wife. You two might actually be perfect for each other, just need to align your crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:34 PM
4

1000% they manipulate statistics to support their claims. I manipulated that percentage to help prove my point. Statistics in the media are just carefully crafted propaganda. They work well because so few people understand statistics enough to know it's pretty much all bullshit and lies.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 12:10 PM
3

But consider this: other people, including the ones married to you, owe you nothing by default. You bore them? They may choose to leave. You are tough to be with? They may choose to leave. There is better option? They may choose to leave. That's true of dating. The whole idea of marriage is to commit to overcome these trivialities because both partners are mature enough to realize that discomfort in its various forms are a requisite part of the growth of depth of relationship. So if that is how …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 11:54 AM
5

Exactly. Women don't do anything by mistake, or haphazardly regarding how they present themselves. She might also be seeking outside attention, sure. But she's 100% trying to fuck with your head.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:49 PM
5

The Ben Affleck law of women.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:43 PM
7

The first time 5 years ago she deleted all the texts, it was well past over. She was 100% cheating then. Everything after is just confirmation. Nobody "deletes all their texts periodically".
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 12:56 PM
8

Mine did, but continues using my name for her career, so she doesn't have to have the uncomfortable talk about being divorced. What bothers me is using my name only as convenient to her selfish ends.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 12:33 PM
9

some scholars say it's actually a mispronunciation of the term "whoring journey"
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:01 AM
2

Closure is a false idol, a myth. You'll go crazy chasing it Acceptance is the only attainable goal. Accept that some things can make sense, some things will never make sense, and probably most answers will never be had.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:14 AM
7

Insurance isn't in the business of making losing bets. Everything that is insured, is insured because the scales HEAVILY favor no claim or low claim/customer ratios.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 01:01 PM
4

I think I understand what you are getting at, but forgive me if I'm just making more hubris "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part" Not all vows have that, but usually it's in the vow. They call it a vow for a reason... not a promise, or agreement, etc. She can hate you, she can treat you like shit, she can hide/steal money, she can get a nasty crack habit, she can do any number of awful things, but the one thing that's indisputably unforgiveable is the betrayal …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 06:20 PM
3

You're holding yourself prisoner in purgatory by keeping her around. She gets only the parts of you she finds useful while not having to keep good on her vows (the parts of the relationship that require effort). You're carrying all the shit sandwich while she gets the prime rib and dessert. It doesn't feel good to cut people out of your life, but backing out of marriage is a good reason for someone to never be seen again. She had ONE promise to keep. She quit when the bases were loaded, but you …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 02:24 PM
7

To answer the first question, yes. To expound on your synopsis - modern therapy holds an incredibly hedonistic view of relationships and living in general. Putting in work and building is not a part of the model. Even couples therapy isn't a pro-relationship model. Every discourse is nothing more than fodder for the breakup in the neotherapuetic world.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:57 PM
6

It is. Love languages and attachment styles are overblown. They're both constantly in flux and can vary between partners of the same person even. They exist in a continuum of outside forces.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 12:25 AM
37

I lost everything. Even when I thought the dust of splitting up assets was settled and all the paperwork was signed, everything left in my life kept turning to ash. Ended up homeless for several weeks, the emotional effects had the bonus effect of making me a cancer to my business and it failed. It's a story I wouldn't even believe myself if I hadn't lived it. I can't even talk about it all at once. I'm currently clawing out a survival and have a roof over my head, but materially, things are ver…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 01:52 AM
15

she still likes to say “I would of grown old with you if you had changed sooner” This is a blatant lie. Even if you had gone to therapy at her first suggestion, it still would have ended the same. Women say shit like this as a cop out for not being committed from the day of vow. The day she first asked for therapy, she was asking you to change because the novel new love feeling was wearing off, and she wasn't equipped to part ways with it or take responsibility for her part in it. That doesn't m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:55 PM
1

Experienced it firsthand. One of her good friend female coworkers got divorced and went pro hoe mode and preached about how it was the best thing that ever happened to her (her kids probably, not so much the best thing for them). One of her closest childhood male friends got divorced and then was a bug in her ear about how much better life is post marriage and prodded her towards that direction. People are social animals, we want to fit in, by being similar and relatable to our peer groups. You …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:24 PM
1

research suggests that if a close friend gets divorced, people’s own chances of divorcing rise by 75 Considering 1) just by simply being married, the odds are about 50/50 depending on the year, and 2) just about everyone will have at least one close friend, (if not more) who ends up divorced, that adds up to about a 37.5% chance of staying married right out the gate - at best.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:18 PM
2

There is absolutely zero reason in the modern world to get married. It doesn't carry the sanctity and commitment it once did, but greatly increases your liability when it most likely fails. Figure half of marriages end in divorce, of the ones that don't end in divorce, do you really think all of those are good quality?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:18 PM
3

It means you had no business getting married in the first place. 3 months of trying isn't shit. If you're throwing in the towel, when he’s always provided a safe place to grow and has encouraged me to spread my wings you were never truly married/committed to him. If you outgrow your spouse, it's because you left them behind. That's part of the commitment for life, as a team, etc. "For richer or poorer, better or worse, sickness and in health" ...yet everyone wants to bail the first time the nove…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 02:20 PM
2

I feel like this would almost be easier if we hated each other. By the time the dust settles, this is the most likely outcome. Having empathy sucks but it's a good sign that you aren't a monster. Remember that for later. It's gonna be a bumpy ride, internally.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 12:53 PM
3

Similar timeframe here. I remember when every day was waking up in such pain that I wanted to hurl myself in front of oncoming traffic just to have some relief. Especially if your marriage ended abruptly with inexplicable betrayal, it's going to be a rough road ahead. Still depressed, but somewhat more functional. Grief isn't linear, so enjoy the bits of reprieve but brace for the coming waves. You're doing the right things. Keep doing them. I'd add some form of science based therapy to the mix.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:39 PM
3

Your have a lot of great responses here, so I'll try to not be repetitive. Your post is titled "the fight" which is accurate as all hell. You just need to understand that the fight is not you and her. She is a distraction. The fight is you and getting back in rhythm with the rest of the world. She is a gator in the swamp. Don't let the gator hold you underwater when you should be navigating.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:06 PM
3

Your best friend and most trusted confidante betrayed you. You should have difficulty trusting yourself, and your whole world will reframe, whether you like it or not. It sucks, but it is a sign that you are moving forward properly to question yourself in such a way. It's going to get better. The hurt will always be there, but you'll learn to hold distance from it so it can't cripple you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:02 PM
2

Women don't possess loyalty the same way men do. They also don't hold love the same way. For a woman, love is a condition like a sunny day. For a man, love is a commitment.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:59 PM
1

This. Love is not the same thing to a man as it is to a woman. The root problem is that both sexes call two totally different things "love." For men, that word tends to carry a commitment, to women it means nothing other than the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 09:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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