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Bluerednaz Archive

View 14 posts and 222 comments by Bluerednaz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
74

RantBluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:44 AM
67

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:05 AM
65

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:25 AM
57

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:38 PM
51

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:18 PM
34

RantBluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:36 PM
29

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 11:56 AM
25

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:48 AM
20

RantBluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:55 AM
18

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:09 AM
7

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:31 PM
4

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:09 PM
3

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:32 AM
2

Bluerednaz/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 09:48 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It’s unfortunately not that easy. And personally I was in denial about many things. I’m not saying I’m better, but what has helped, is stepping out of my comfort zone to do what’s best for me. And it’s resulted in me feeling like I can show my kid I’m capable of overcoming the hardest of things.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 10:51 PM
3

It’s good to get it out. It may not feel like it, but you are valuable. You are not trash. You are important
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:04 AM
2

Take the steps now to save it my friend. That way you are left with no regrets
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:27 AM
2

Women move on QUICK after divorce. And I speak for myself when I say at first, I felt like I had to match her healing process. But that was a mistake. Because everyone is different. And everyone’s situation is different. I need to repair and work on myself, before I even consider the idea of entertaining another person in my life. Also, my son is enough for me. I am his hero and I let that drive me
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:19 PM
4

I think it’s important to try and create new memories and relations with people that share your passion. And these people don’t have to be romantic interests. You have to try and replace those painful memories with new ones. I recognize that’s hard to do, but it’s necessary
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:18 PM
1

Christ that’s crazy. I feel like after the divorce they take their brain out, scrabble it up, then put it back in
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 02:26 AM
1

I’m holding on mostly because I don’t want to want to be the typical, mom and dad divorced so they gotta hate each other statistic. And i honestly do want to be close to my ex. For me and for my son. But some of the things she has done since the divorce make me real sad and think she’s not the same person I was with for 15 years
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 01:57 AM
1

Yeah I get it. Hang in there friend
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:51 AM
1

You would think. But I struggle with that myself sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:40 AM
2

I feel you. And I understand that it can be hard for other to be mature and understanding of coparenting situations. But that’s just the nature of the beast
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:35 AM
10

Oh no. 100%. When she realized she was horny and us having sex was no longer an option, she got onto a dating app and virtually opened her legs. It makes me sad because I had this idea that she was sweet and innocent and better than just using people for sex. But, I guess people change
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:29 AM
5

Because they are convinced they will be happier and that things were so miserable. But in my case, I never knew how unhappy she was until after the divorce. There were so many things that piled up and I stood no chance. We sat across a counselor and she never made a peep
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:20 AM
9

You have got to remember, it takes two to make it work. You didn’t marry yourself. And you know what is terrible but I feel is true? People think the grass is greener on the other side and with the state of the world, and everyone putting more value on themselves, the grass isn’t always greener.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:11 AM
12

It won’t help you feel better, but I found out my ex went nuts with her vagina after the divorce. It hurt to hear she more than quadrupled the amount of people she slept with after the divorce. We aren’t them. They look to fill the holes they left when they wanted to be selfish and stop trying. Keep your head up friend
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 11:06 PM
2

Exactly. You can spend quality time with people as well, without having to be in a romantic relationship
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:32 PM
5

Maybe I am an in the minority, but, I had a very bad break up at the age of 18. 2 years I went without any kind of relationship at all. Then I met my ex wife and we were together for 15 years before we divorced. And those were a hard 15 years because there was a dangerous lack of communication. And I didn’t make myself a safe space. I equally take blame. But unfortunately there were many things stacked against us. I was her first everything. She never really dated. And when we were married we is…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 08:45 PM
1

It’s my pleasure friend
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 12:18 AM
6

This is the absolute hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life. It is crushing. It is devastating. It hurts. It’s all the things. Being together that long, and then it ending causes an insane amount of grief. You have to acknowledge that grief. Feel it. Hurt from it. Cry from it. Don’t let statements like, there are plenty of fish in the sea, or you are better off , or even, you must be strong for your children get to use. These are well meaning statements but they are said be people t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 11:34 PM
10

Unfortunately what the other user said, you can’t stop it. Most of the time, they have made up their mind, well before they tell you. My Wife and I were together for 15 years. No serious indications that anything was really wrong. She said she just got tired of fighting for our relationship. Divorce accepted in December. Out by the end of the month. I thought the same things you probably are. I thought, no way this women I thought I knew so well would move on so quickly. Unfortunately I found ou…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 08:25 PM
1

Try to cut it out if you can. Otherwise touch yourself to your hearts desire
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 05:32 PM
0

Go for 50/50. Seriously do the best you can to agree on 50/50. You are going to have a lot of hard days but going no contact is absolutely for the best. Me and my ex didn’t do that and it’s been brutal for me personally. However it’s given me insight to why the divorce really happened. It’s sucked but we are still really close and just couldn’t break the contact. I feel like my situation isn’t unique but it’s definitely more rare. Going no contact, if that’s what you both want, is for the best
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 10:24 PM
2

Start with the Grief Recovery Handbook. Grief comes in many different forms. It’s important to recognize it, and complete the process
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 09:10 PM
1

You are all that matters king. You are #1 here
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 09:06 PM
2

I get it. It’s hard. All I can say is reach out and make new connections. Shit, there are even people here that would be more than willing to drop In for the occasional hello Unfortunately in most circumstances, women grieve while still in the marriage. And they most certainly will not do it in front of us. Because if they did, we may do something to change their mind. Which really is sickening. Especially when kids are involved. Thats what my ex did to me anyway. The really sad thing is, days b…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 12:19 PM
2

Hold that head high my friend. Better days to come
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 01:43 AM
3

I’m glad your doing great. But isn’t that tragic ? Getting married is supposed to mean they are there for you, through all the hard times. Until eventually they just don’t feel like it anymore. There is something so wrong with that. Glad you are doing better
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:49 PM
1

Thank you. I appreciate the input
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:47 PM
9

It’ll happen. I promise. Give it time
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 09:32 PM
1

It’s possible to feel both, unfortunately human beings and emotions are never simple
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 04:41 PM
1

Could be brother. But it’s not our problem anymore
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 03:16 PM
1

I feel you. Look back at my posts. I am in the exact same boat as you. Today is especially hard for me because she asked me to switch days. And it’s so she can do an over night with her new interest. Huge gut punch. Just try to focus on you. And the present
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:58 PM
1

That’s fair. I get that. But it’s better than drowning every day. Keep going you are amazing
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:49 PM
3

It’s okay to seek medication too. Because it can help take away that feeling of not being able to control the emotions
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:46 PM
5

Let the sun shine in your face, and the wind blow in your hair. You are doing amazing
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:08 PM
4

Very well said friend
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 12:09 PM
3

It is annoying because it’s so repetitive, but you gotta learn to love you. It’s the only way to true happiness
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:37 AM
1

She told me. And has talked to him around me
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 08:50 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:13 PM
3

Great advice. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 11:53 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 06:34 PM
2

Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:28 PM
5

Women get to a point when they reach an almost euphoric state once they have made up their mind that divorce is the only answer
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:57 AM
0

Yup yup.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 07:40 PM
5

Chin up. It absolutely sucks because time moves slow when we are hurting, but time is the only thing that will make it better
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 07:12 PM
3

Will do. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 07:11 PM
2

Thanks for your input
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 06:55 PM
6

That sucks
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:55 PM
0

I don’t see how that kind of attitude is helpful
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:41 PM
7

I have two male co workers that were in 10+ years relationships and were cheated on. They say never again
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:19 PM
1

lol okay
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:09 PM
3

Yeah, you are right. 100%
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:46 PM
1

Thank you friend
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:45 PM
7

Yeah you are right. I’m sorry you had to go through that though
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:44 PM
4

I have unfortunately seen it myself. I wanted to believe my ex was different
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:02 PM
5

I appreciate you friend
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:01 PM
5

I think it’s interesting the more space that’s created, the more they want to come back. I myself have seen that several times throughout the course of my divorce
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:57 PM
4

Yeah. I hear you
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:43 PM
2

Ha bold move
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:37 PM
1

Gotcha. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:37 PM
3

You make very valid points. I appreciate that. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:31 PM
4

I hear you. I hear everyone. I’m in a deep depression and vulnerable myself. I’m working on getting help with that
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:11 PM
5

Yeah I call total bs on that my friend. Not on you. On her. I think it’s part of the picture they are trying to paint
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:06 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:05 PM
0

We have been divorced 4 months now. She is doing things for me she’s doesn’t have to. No other way to really describe it. And I understand why people would think she’s using me. But, that’s just not the case. I have nothing to offer her. And she is deliberately reaching out to me
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:33 PM
-4

Yeah. Thats fair. But creating space will be a slow process for me. I’ll get there. I hear what you are saying. She makes times for me and does things for me that she doesn’t have to. So I agree with you. But not 100%
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:09 PM
9

Well we have a kid so I can’t cut her off completely. And trust me, I have no interest in checking up on her. I was just curious about who her rebound was. I don’t even use social media. It’s too stressful
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:06 PM
7

That’s assuming no one has changed. Life is hard. Harder than people realize. People can change. But how we both are now, it would never work
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:05 PM
5

Can’t really stop communicating with a kid. But I can definitely limit it. And I’m not in denial about “new dick”. It just feels weird to me. That’s all
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:04 PM
-8

Pfft. Doing my absolute best. Outside of sharing a kid, we are still really close. She came over today and cuddled with me and kissed me on my head. But I agree I gotta put space. A little at a time
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:03 PM
2

Could be. But who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:42 PM
1

You are right my friend
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:52 AM
2

Exactly :) you are welcome
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 02:18 AM
8

I would say that it’s still too fresh. Lots of emotions still tied in. Probably not from you. But from her, most likely. Tell her the focus should be the kids right now. Even if you have no intention of ever trying a relationship with her again. Telling her no, will probably bring more you more trouble. Telling her yes will bring you more trouble. Right now, the focus really should just be the kids. Drive that point home. That’s all that matters right now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:40 AM
2

No. But im 6’4” 260 lbs so if she does meet someone, the little guy can mean mug all he wants as long as he’s no threat to my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:17 PM
2

In that situation you absolutely don’t. Me and my ex had a mostly amicable split
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 07:52 PM
1

I told her that I would do better next time. Possibly. I just gave her several opportunities to give me a time she would like him back and she didn’t say anything And thank you. It definitely turned around
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 07:00 PM
7

You may be right
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 04:06 PM
6

Yep
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:45 PM
7

Man sure sounds like it
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:23 PM
11

Yeah. I think that’s what my ex wants, for us to be a family and hang out for the kid. But what she doesn’t realize is I don’t know if I can ever look into her eyes and not see a future where we’re together, so doing stuff with her and not being together is painful for me
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:09 PM
6

Yeah. Exactly. I did all the duties my ex did. In addition, cooking, house maintenance, and I absolutely adored her. Like, she was my world.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:08 PM
10

And that makes me sad. But it may very well be the truth
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:06 PM
5

It’s annoying and boring to say over and over again but work on yourself. Way easier said than done. My brother gave a me a good perspective, he said, if I don’t move on, then what happens when I find out she starts dating again? Then I start all over from step one. Do the best you can to better yourself and move on Trust me. I know is it’s so fucking hard. There is nothing wrong with keeping your heart open, just don’t wait for her to come back. More than likely, that won’t happen. Stay strong …
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:06 PM
1

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:58 PM
1

Ooof. I wouldn’t say they are weaker. They just don’t play fair when it comes to emotions. Women do have many strengths. But not realizing their mistakes when they wanted a divorce is not one of them
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:58 PM
6

Wow, like literally, word for word, that’s what everyone I’ve been talking to has said. Believe it or not even one of my female coworkers that got divorced. What my ex didn’t realize when she said she wanted a divorce, is that I had all the family, including her dad and she just has her dad now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:57 PM
6

That is exactly how I feel. We will be waiting for a while
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:53 PM
2

Yeah. Women are good at that
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:50 PM
6

Ugh. Like, if they would show tiny amount of empathy, it would make everyone’s life easier
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:45 PM
9

See, that’s so crazy to me. Do these women really not realize how good they had it until all the dust settles ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:22 PM
4

Yeah. Well unfortunately she is already getting the wrath from our kid. He treats her like total crap and doesn’t respect her at all. All her doing I might add. And I just tell him that’s his mom and he should try to be nicer to her because it’s hard for her too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:17 PM
9

Too little too late kinda thing ? Did you two have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:04 PM
11

I’m not really seeking closure. I’m just sad that she was no different and is obviously like all the other women
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:03 PM
9

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:57 PM
1

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:39 PM
6

It all kinda falls on you guys honestly. Personally I can’t handle hanging out with my ex right now even if it is for the kid
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:36 PM
12

From what I gather from Family, co workers, and friends, this is almost always the case even if they don’t admit it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:34 PM
6

That’s shitty
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:32 PM
3

Figured as much
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:28 PM
3

Wow. I’m glad she apologized
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:28 PM
7

Good for you
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:27 PM
2

Holy crap
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:25 PM
4

We are worth better my friend. We deserve to be loved by someone that loves us. Even is that someone is US
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:28 AM
18

God that’s what makes me sad. That you are right. I’m just angry, being a child of divorce, like fine, divorce me because of some delusional story you made up in your head that you are better off, but do these women with children ever realize the kind of damage they are doing to their children ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:27 AM
4

It’s too bad. Like, how long were they “faking” it
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:22 AM
8

Unfortunately I think that’s exactly how my ex feels and it makes me nauseous. People change, but not always for the better
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:16 AM
3

Unfortunately it’s going to get worse before it gets better. You may both still love each other and want to be friends. But now isn’ the time. It’s far too confusing for both of you. And you won’t heal
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:01 AM
2

I’m in the process of moving all my photos and videos to usb sticks. It definitely is a process. But because we were such a close family I know I would regret it down the road if I deleted any
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:31 PM
3

Just reach out to literally anyone that isn’t involved in your situation. Anyone that can give you an outside view of what’s going on in the world
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:29 PM
1

Thank you. The little guy has been in therapy for the better part of a year. So hopefully we are on top of it
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 09:05 PM
3

God. Great point. Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 03:18 AM
3

True. I just don’t know how much my part of the equation will negate whatever is going on at his moms
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 03:13 AM
1

It’s sad :(
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 09:27 PM
2

Wow. How long ago was this ? My son hates his mom right now :( he’s only 7 but he recognizes she is the one that wanted it and sees her as the enemy because she broke up our family. I never said anything to him about the divorce other than it’s not his fault.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 08:20 PM
1

So interestingly enough, he has been in counseling for the better part of a year due to a previous condition. And since the divorce I started going to his sessions and it’s been great for both of us Unfortunately my ex wife is still emotionally attached to me because she can’t seem to sit down for five minutes to a have a logical conversation with me without losing her temper.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 03:07 PM
1

Thank you :)
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 12:20 PM
1

Time time and time my friend. The world is full of happiness. Happiness you deserve. It’s just hard to see it right now
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 11:58 AM
1

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:33 PM
1

No. What’s that ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:11 PM
3

Time time and more time
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:10 PM
2

Wow. Very very very well said. Easier said than done. But I agree with you 100%. I am getting closer and closer everyday
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:10 PM
1

I agree:(
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:22 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:17 PM
2

Because it’s feels good that someone appears to be interested in how I’m doing. And it feels nice honestly I have tried my friend. But you are right, my knee jerk reaction is to respond back. But maybe it’s best I just leave it alone. It’s just very difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:15 PM
2

He does have one, yes
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 11:09 AM
1

Ooof. Yeah. That hits home
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:36 AM
1

Checks out :(
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:55 PM
1

Ugh. It’s so hard
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:36 PM
4

That’s too bad
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:18 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:50 AM
1

Yeah :( I remind him all the time it’s not his fault
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:33 AM
5

He just said he was mad at himself :( I pushed for us to do stuff as a family but my ex, and her therapist said it was a bad idea. He had very little notice. As did I. He told me just tonight that he hates having two houses
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:20 AM
5

Take care of yourself. The best that you can anyway. It’s the best thing for you. Women in these situations will make the husband feel like dog poo and not blink an eye
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:18 AM
3

Wow. I needed that. Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:16 AM
3

Thank you :) and maybe. But I don’t think so. I know she feels incredibly guilty about this whole thing and I would think she’s doing everything she can to soothe him when she has him. As she should. And I make every second count when I have my son. I’ll even sit at the dinner table while he’s eating, so he doesn’t feel alone
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:12 AM
3

I agree with everything you said and I’m doing just that :) And he never sees the side of me that is sad or upset about the divorce. I save that time for when I’m alone
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:09 AM
2

Forcing a divorce to start. Other then that, I don’t think so
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:47 AM
3

He actually has a regular Therapist he has been seeing for the better part of a year because he has adhd and we figured it could help.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:31 AM
5

He literally has never done anything like this before the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:30 AM
3

That’s sad to hear :(
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:58 AM
3

He has a counselor, thank god. We are seeing him tomorrow
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:56 AM
3

Yeah, that makes total sense
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:02 AM
2

Oooo. Yeah. That makes sense
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:14 PM
3

As others of said, it is not help how, but you are still young. I get this stings. A lot. But you have a lot of life and happy days ahead of you
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 09:14 PM
2

lol that’s fair. That’s definitely the point I’m at right now
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:48 PM
11

From what I gather, it really is equivalent to a mental break for them. Women are good at compartmentalizing(no knock on that, it can be a good skill to have) so they take all the negative feelings a normal person should have during divorce, box them up, and file them away. And what’s left is a born again, escaped from a horrible situation, blame all hardships on the ex, type of person. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. My ex was the sweetest, most selfless person I ever met in my life, and now sh…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:26 PM
3

Lucky for me, I was a hermit when I was married so no friends to speak of
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:17 PM
2

Wow. Thats amazing! If my ex apologized for what she did to our family, it would make me feel 1000x better because I would know she still had a soul. I have a feeling I’ll never be getting that apology
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:16 PM
3

Checks out, unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:03 PM
3

Exactly. Just know you aren’t alone
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:46 PM
1

Ha yep
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:45 PM
14

With women, they usually plan some part of leaving in their head. And are very very good at hiding it. There aren’t always signs. They just wake up on day and decide, “I’m tired”
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:28 PM
4

I agree. If you absolutely have to investigate use a recorder. Record the entire conversation
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:27 PM
11

Very true my friend. But I’m getting there
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:51 PM
5

Christ. Very very well said
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:16 PM
2

Exactly. It’s crazy how that goes
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:10 PM
8

It’s just a gut punch. Like, I feel like to, for years What was the point of saying, we are in this together, if they had no intention of sticking it out
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 03:51 PM
4

Oh for sure. We can all be better at certain things. But it takes two for a relationship to work. It’s takes two people to want to put in the effort and not just auto pilot through it
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 03:50 PM
6

Holy shit ! Yes ! Omg 🤯 I felt so alone in this, but now I’m starting to see, I’m not crazy. And I wasn’t crazy
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 03:41 PM
7

God this hits home to me. She was having serious mental health issues just before the divorce. It was evident. At one point we were going to marriage counseling together then she slowly stopping inviting me and I thought it’s because things were getting better. Nope! Joke was on me : /
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 03:34 PM
1

Fuck man. That’s so rough. I’m sorry to hear that
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:22 PM
3

About 2 hours before bed. Next day got a text saying paper work was ready
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:18 PM
1

How long were you married ? Any kids ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:14 PM
1

Yea. That exactly what it feels like.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:18 PM
1

So true
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:58 AM
1

Did you stay single ? And I appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:34 AM
1

Hmm. Fair point. But I am paying only $500 for rent. Which is a steal. She was tired of trying. Exactly her words
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:30 AM
1

Nope. Just me most of the time. But depending on how things go, the ex father in law may move in with me eventually. It is his house
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:28 PM
1

Well, I don’t NEED to move until the kiddo is out of the house. At least another 11 years. But it’s just hard being in the house we all were together in
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:17 PM
1

He sees me every day for a few hours after school. And I’m taking him the whole weekend
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 09:23 PM
2

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 09:19 PM
2

Yes, the person who ripped our family apart is making sacrifices and taking some debt(did I mention she got the nice new car too)
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 11:28 AM
1

Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:57 PM
1

I gotcha. Who initiated and what was the reason ?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:51 PM
1

Any kids ? Are you guys close at all ? Or stay in contact ?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:36 PM
2

Oh man. Two years and you are still feeling it ?!?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:33 PM
1

How long has it been for you ?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:22 PM
8

Well and Marriage is Marriage. I used to take it seriously but now like, what is the point
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:14 PM
3

He really is a solid dude. Always around us and his grandkid. And would do anything for us Yeah. I know it seems suspicious to some, like she was cheating, but I know she wasn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:01 PM
2

He’s on both of our sides. We were very close before the divorce. But he obviously needs to honor his daughter too
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:56 PM
1

Yeah I agree
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:19 PM
3

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:01 PM
8

I wouldn’t say they necessarily. The feeling is coming more from a place of helplessness for my son. Trust me, I am moving on
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:22 PM
2

I have. Many many many times. But unfortunately, for as long as he’s been alive, he uses her as his punching bag :(
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 03:33 PM
2

I’m not. I’m doing my own thing. I have no control of what happens at her house
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 03:24 PM
2

You may be right. But right now I’m of the mind set that she did in fact choose this. And she made her bed so now she has to sleep in it. And I feel part of her taking the debt was because she felt bad. She did get the divorce she wanted. And she got the really nice car while I took the clunker. There was a lot of negative things that happened between the divorce and now. The divorce was the tip of the iceberg
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 03:14 PM
3

No child support. Split Custody. She took a majority of the debt
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:59 PM
11

I get the cheating angle. I really do. But then the way she had been since the divorce. And how she is now. Idk. Cheating doesn’t make sense 🤷🏽‍♂️ Doesn’t matter anyway. People do get tired. But fuck she didn’t try anything before getting divorced. Which is what sucks
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:58 PM
2

That would be disappointing but you are right, Doesn’t matter now
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:40 PM
3

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:23 PM
9

I agree 100%. I would never talk bad about his him to him, ever. But he knows this was completely her choice, and it’s not what I wanted Now I just gotta be there for my boy
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:11 PM
9

I truly believe it was a 100% selfish act with no other motive(another man) she got her own house. Big enough just for her and the kiddo. I wouldn’t care if she was talking to other men anyway. In fact, if she had told me she was from the start, it probably would of made more sense then what actually happened And I agree. She probably has a narrative that she is such a better place. She escaped a total hell of a situation. Even if that were true, the way she chose to do it, caused irreparable da…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:08 PM
11

Doing my best :) ha no. She just decided, meh, marriage isn’t for me anymore It’s why I think a lot of people think getting married is a joke. Myself included now
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 12:01 PM
11

I hear you. He is 7. And he does see me 6/7 days a week. But I’m working with my ex father in law to see if he can stay a night or two with me so my boy can get me more. My schedule does work out for getting to see him almost everyday. His struggle right now is wanting to spend more nights with me. I’m working on that!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 10:32 AM
6

Take it one day at a time my friend. I found myself living in the past and future so much that is was exhausting me. Try to keep your mind on the present. Do things for yourself, as much as you can. You don’t have to sign up for a gym but I would advise getting some kind of physical work in for yourself. Go on a nice, long walk. Or run. It’s scary right now. But, you are worth it. My ex has clearly moved on. And she moved on the day she asked for a divorce. Don’t make decisions and choices based…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:48 AM
5

Hmm. That actually makes a lot of sense
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 12:37 AM
2

Wow. You sound like me. I think if she wasn’t emotionally attached to me in some way, she might have extended that same offer to me
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:54 PM
3

Is that still a thing ? Being 100% serious. So people really just like to fuck ? That aren’t assholes ? I’ve been out of the game a long time
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:53 PM
1

That’s crazy. But hey, if it works for you 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:28 PM
1

Do you guys have ground rules ? And how old are you both ? If I may ask
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:21 PM
1

That’s insane. Did you guys have a conversation about it? Or did it kind of just start happening ?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:17 PM
1

I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah I’m fixed too. And our sex life was good. Maybe down the road we can be fuck buddies? Better than one of us having sex with a random stranger and catching something 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:05 PM
6

Right. So point being. The sooner the band aid rips, get as much space as possible
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:35 PM
1

Nah. Not happening again
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:33 PM
1

I agree with you. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:32 PM
2

Well just that, with kids, there is no way for a completely clean break for me. We have to, at the very least, talk parental business. So that makes it hard
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:14 PM
2

And I am guessing you are no closer to that
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:47 PM
6

Don’t blame you
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:45 PM
1

Thank you 🙏🏼
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:44 PM
3

I’m sorry to hear that
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:40 PM
2

That sucks :( feel better friend
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:20 PM
7

You guys are still having sex, two years later ? What was the reason for divorce ?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:14 PM
2

Right. But do you guys have any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:13 PM
2

People change I guess :(
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:12 PM
2

How long has it been ?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:12 PM
2

Ha
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:11 PM
3

It was last month. Not on ongoing thing
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:11 PM
4

We were , and still are pretty close. She wanted divorce because she was tired. And wanted to be on her own. But obviously she was still horny
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:01 PM
8

That’s how she got me. Can into my bedroom and she was face down ass up
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:38 PM
7

Thankfully I’m fixed. So maybe that’s why it happened
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:35 PM
3

I agree. It’s not an ongoing thing
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:32 PM
1

Hard when we have a kiddo together. But, she’s out of the house now
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:27 PM
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