BobtheArcher2018 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Showing the 1,000 most recent of 3,229 comments.

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. The notion that we aren't born with an obligation to further the species is beyond peak Liberalism. That's nuts. Really, it shouldn't come up since the initial obligation is to our own society, and that is enough.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 06:51 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Sure. Maybe. But whatever total population you get to, you then need replacement pop. So this is sorta non sequitur.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 06:13 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Nihilism is not an option. Both genders have the burden to find the fairest and best way to meet reality's needs. Everyone has a say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 06:13 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Nobody said women needed economic freedom taken from them, or that they had to mate with men they don't find attractive--much less that this would make such men 'unworthy'. It is premature to assume free and equal women won't voluntarily pair in sufficient numbers given the right culture and environment. You are basically starting off with the presumption that women's selectivity is almost all biological.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 06:02 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. It isn't. The burden of reality is on everyone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 05:19 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Nobody is happy if your society gets destroyed or conquered or outcompeted. Even for these purposes, the ideal pairing rate is not likely 100%. There is a nature and nurture component to all these things. It seems like a bad idea to start with the assumption that free women free of economic need for a mate are too innately, biologically selective for sufficiently high monogamous pairing rates no matter the culture.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 05:19 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Nobody said 100% pairing i the goal or even ideal. The NW European marriage pattern of the past few hundred years had ~20% of women never marry. These societies outcompeted everyone. But not caring at all about the pairing rate is basically nihilism: the world can fucking burn if that is what is needed to make sure women never have to sleep with guys they find gross. That is the wrong choice, but I suspect there is a middle ground as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 04:12 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Without too much of a sidetrack into philosophy, serving the greater good can be a grounding for morality. If society needs high pairing rates, then morality follows.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 04:09 PM
–	The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it. Most male morality on this is based on the unexamined prior that widespread monogamy is the aim of society and should be achievable in a gender-fair way. Male expectations and 'entitlement' are downstream of this. For this to work, women cannot be too sexually selective. Thus men feel 'entitled' insofar as they believe that if 50th percentile mate value women are holding out for 70th percentile men, the women are being wrong. Hypergamy by this metric needs to be constrained.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 03:12 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. I look at it backwards. You MUST get to replacement birthrate. You cannot exclude too many males from mating. You need stable families (or find some alternative). These are non-negotiable barring some new approach that meets the same eternal underlying human issues. Anything and everything can (and eventually will) be sacrificed to meet these ends. So the question how you get there. I also value female equality, though that doesn't mean no gender roles either IMO. And sure, marriage and birthrat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 02:52 PM
–	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders Maybe. But that is a whole different context than today, with different death patterns. Different needs. Etc. Generally speaking, too many men of reproductive ages cannot be denied mates. Period. So if women are dying in childbirth, surviving older hunters often need new mates, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 02:18 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. Humans have NEVER not regulated mating. Some psychologists feel that as a counter to this, individual women actually became more selective to fight for 'genetic quality' better given they knew family and society would prioritize other things more. So yeah, if you take all the limits off that have been on mating since forever, the argument is that modern women will be MORE selective than even ancestral ones because we humans never let evolution find a proper homeostatis.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 02:13 PM
–	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders Well a lot of psychology is rooted in biology. But disregarding that, sure. There are reasons why older man/younger woman worked well by various metrics in various circumstances. But even biologically, this may be less true. We live longer. Death patterns from childbirth and war are different. Biologically, it probably makes most sense to pair people at a young age, get babies in their 20s, and support them through it somehow.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 02:04 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. Agree that you can't just magically expect things to change while changing none of the underlying factors. At the same time, the kind of aggregate mating results we are talking about have been achieved in economically unequal societies in the past. And equalizing things in status and economics has proven very tricky, so are these the only levers that will work in 2026? Something changed so that we basically need communism that works if we want high pairing rates and a replacement birthrate?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:53 PM
–	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders Yes, but if you go from 1 out of 100k to 10 out of 100k, that is a huge percentage jump but not that big a deal in reality. OFC sperm banks limit age because why wouldn't they? No downside. I'm just saying that of all the reasons not to setup a society where 20 year old girls marry 40 year old men, sperm quality is pretty far down the list.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:42 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. Unclear how much education is primarily a sorting mechanism here. If it is, then you can't just educate everyone and get the 'educated' results for all because you'd also have to greatly equalize income, resources, status, etc. for all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:40 PM
–	The core of our problems might be a matter of Trust I think these are all valid points, but everything works in context. That is why one can never just turn back the clock. There were many changes underway before the Pill and sexual revolution that were already creating strong pressure in that direction. Once contraception and the revolution hit, people were super eager to get out of what they considered sexually stultifying relationships and social obligations. Do any of the older systems work when sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, more advanc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:22 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. Things do change. Technological advancement always changes the underlying reality. So if there is some new way to get the aggregate results society needs, I'm all ears. Non ironically. But the key point is accepting that a healthy society does need aggregate results to fall within certain ranges. The more this can be achieved with a light social touch the better. But humans be humans and we should beware of magical thinking here, too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:17 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. No. But you can't exclude too high a percentage of young males from reproduction and family making. Doesn't mean you need to pair them with way older men or anything like that. Unless, ofc, you feel males are in general way less able and attractive and most of them make shitty, unattractive partners.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:15 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. You need a replacement birthrate. You need well-raised children, with male and female influences and role models. You cannot sexually exclude too high a percentage of the population, especially young males. You need family units as the building blocks of identity and social organization. Or alternatives that accomplish the same things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:12 PM
–	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders sperm degradation is overhyped as a 'gotcha', but point 3 is pretty valid: you want to return to the type of sex lives such relationships usually had in the past?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:03 PM
–	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders You can't judge every society or set of circumstances the same way. But modern society idolizes sex, even as it seems to have less and less of it. And the sex required--even discounting porn and all its effects--is very different than 'lie back and think of England'. In such an environment, how can relationships that basically ignore female desire be psychologically optimal? There is a lot of political bullshit distorting age gap discussions. That said, even if you remove that, young women are f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 12:57 PM
–	Men need to come up with an alternative to marriage. Look at the comments. Before any alternatives to marriage, monogamy, etc. can even be discussed, most modern people need a refresher Civilization 101 course. They are so steeped in post-Enlightenment Liberalism that they do not even recognize the essential civilizational problems that a mating system is meant to address. The general belief is that dating and reproduction are the most intensely personal decisions possible, amongst a wide menu of very individual decisions in life. So social pressu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 12:44 PM
–	Women handle rejection worse then men Women do handle it worse, but hard to distinguish between women actually taking it worse and social structures making it way more humiliating for women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/26 01:30 AM
8	What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks? You see the insane hubris of the progressive left here. Nature and nurture are at play in everything human; so we do have some conscious control. But we don't know how much. She's acting like gender roles and expectations came out of nowhere, almost arbitrarily. And that they are simply cultural constructs supported by other cultural constructs, all of which we can easily reconfigure if only we have the will and goodness to do so. But this is not how it really is. Evolution and culture worked in…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/07/26 12:04 PM
2	Women like dominant and aggressive men, even if they date nice guys True. Not necessarily. Neither would dual mating necessarily. Some things we don't know. This is a big manosphere point of contention with TRP OG Rollo Tomasi arguing for dual mating against evo psych OG David Buss who once believed in it, but who now supports mate switching. My current hypothesis is that both are correct in a way. Women evolved a psychology that would take either approach depending on conditions. I believe Buss is correct that in general not much dual mating happened because me…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/07/26 07:51 AM
3	Women like dominant and aggressive men, even if they date nice guys I think it's a bit more complicated, but yeah, if a guy can balance and control his aggression it is great. The perfect balance. But at scale, only so many guys will achieve that, and there will be correlations between dominant and aggressive personalities and abuse. But any one guy can indeed be near perfect. Just not gonna be that many who do so.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/07/26 03:05 AM
3	Women like dominant and aggressive men, even if they date nice guys Nature and nurture are always both at play, but yeah, I disagree with you strongly here. The ubiquity of this dynamic strongly suggests it is primarily evolved psychology and biology.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 10:32 PM
5	Women like dominant and aggressive men, even if they date nice guys Yeah. There's a lot of argument on this. Don't think you need ovulatory shift for there to still be an obvious tension between the rough and tough guys she likes in some ways and hates in others, and the nicer guys she also has mixed feelings about. Some women get the whole package; most have to compromise somewhere in the middle.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 10:06 PM
6	Women like dominant and aggressive men, even if they date nice guys Part of the reason women are reluctant to be candid about these things is that guys seem incapable of understanding the nuance here. That doesn't justify the gaslighting, but it is part of the reason. Women have complex internal tensions in their sexuality, and there is a great deal of individual variation with respect to which side of the tension they lean to. They evolved for this. They need the aggro tough guy who can defend them and beat out other men for resources. But such guys tend to be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 10:05 PM
1	Women should make the first move, its better for everyone. Women can be made to initiate more in a more formalized dating system where there is plausible deniability. Being publicly rejected is way, way more humiliating for a woman. Such a system has many advantages, for men and women. There are costs, too. It is more formal. Nevetheless, female sexuality being more responsive, men will still have to sexually initiate and escalate a lot more. And initiate romantically more inside the relationship in countless small ways. But it does spare men excessive …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 04:20 PM
3	Most men aren’t “nice guys” Terms are kinda vague here, but seems like a red herring. Let's stipulate that 'nice guys' generally are nice. So what? That still doesn't make them attractive. Women are hardwired with very strong innate tensions when it comes to desire. They want the caveman strong and aggressive enough to protect her and the children and outcompete other guys. OTOH they don't want that guy to turn the aggro on her, which is quite likely as there is a correlation. This is why Beauty and the Beast is the archet…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 02:20 PM
1	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe The genders will never perform equally at anything given how different they are. But yeah, I have no idea on this one. Impossible to really study given the ideology of the past 30 years. Maybe in the future.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 04:20 AM
–	"Gold digging" attitudes are a spectrum, so no, they are not always that obvious. There are hardwired differences that will be resistant to any cultural push to make the genders feel and behave identically. Women caring more about a man's status and resources than the other way around will always be a thing. Love can still happen. Men also have hardwired superficial preferences. There is a transactional basis to mating, but love still happens when the transaction is balanced. The real issue is the tension between a society going out of its way to equalize male and female reso…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 03:47 AM
1	We pathologize male passivity in dating but reward female passivity and nobody can explain why without circular logic Well equal or equal-enough dynamics are possible, but definitely not identical. I applaud your candor here. No red herrings about 'because women don't have to' or ' if we initiate we get guys who aren't into us but say yes for the easy sex'. Those are factors, but tangential. I would say that you can get women to initiate more at the outset if things are more formalized and there is sufficient plausible deniability. This can spare men too much rejection, which is good. That said, your core point…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 03:42 AM
2	Why doesn't the red pill push for expanded views of attractiveness? The more sophisticated TRPers that access the better evo psych sources understand that there are definitely environmental and cultural influences on attraction in addition to biology. The reason desire is non-negotiable is that these cultural and environmental factors operate on people over their whole lives in ways that go well beyond the conscious, explicit or rational. A classic manosphere mistake is believing that even if you fully persuade someone their standards are too high due to culture…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 03:35 AM
0	What do you think women bring to the table and what do you want them to add? Navigating 2026 on an individual level, there are few consensus gender roles. People usually need two incomes. So it is all contextual. Each woman brings what she brings and you see if it complements what you bring. See if it seems like a fair exchange. On a societal level, I just want candor at the intellectual and academic level from influential female thinkers and personalities. Obviously, I'm not asking for unvarnished honesty in all individual interactions. Nobody should do that. It is peak…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/07/26 06:14 PM
1	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe Yeah. It's interesting. Men and women are different enough that one shouldn't ever expect them to perform equally at any given things in any given environment if there is an equal playing field. I wonder if older profs feel men have declined, or if maybe this is just that women are better suited to this biologically in today's world on a fair playing field. Or possibly the field is somehow not fair. I dunno.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/07/26 02:12 AM
1	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe Women don't even want to do STEM. They are just always worried that if men predominate in fields that have disproportionate power, then men in general will have more power than women and eventually use that power to re-oppress women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 04:41 PM
1	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy Another argument I have heard is that on some level women understand that no sustainable civilization can be maintained without the sexual oppression of women as women are too innately selective to ever pair widely enough voluntarily. Thus, in a weird mirror of TRP's 'enjoy the decline', women 'lucky' enough to live in brief periods or female emancipation should just go for it. Live their lives. Fuck society and civilization because in the end they will always re-oppress women out of necessity. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 04:11 PM
3	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe Average boys always sucked at anything like modern schooling, even in more disciplinary environments. I do believe that boys should be raised and schooled differently than girls, and largely separately. But if you find a way to raise boys that leads to boys outperforming girls, you have a problem. If they underperform girls, there is a problem. So it seems like a bind lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 04:01 PM
10	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe If this is true at scale, why? There are arguments that women are actually biologically more suited to modern life than men. But if that isn't true, what's up with the boys?	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 03:44 PM
2	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy The Torah is pure genius of the highest level. Yeah, it always seems like in any analytical conversation with women, they have one eye on what any admission in the analysis might lead men to do. And will happily manipulate facts if they feel any of them might lead to prescriptions they have already decided shouldn't happen. It's like they have a secret meeting with only women first, then decide what to tell men cause they dont trust us lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 03:42 PM
3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy I don't even care about the blame. Just the best path forward. I'm never 100% sure why so many women seem so set on first establishing some rule that individual autonomy is paramount and that societies can and must simply adapt to whatever aggregate outcomes result from these totally free, uncoerced or incentivized mating decisions. Is there some secret belief that it is inevitable that free women will increasingly be unwilling to have babies or pair with men widely under any conditions? Some se…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 03:25 PM
-1	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe Fair. Just this seems like needed context to decide if men are worth dating. But I assume many will disagree with this key prior. That said, given increasing male underperformance statistics, it seems quite possible. Begs the question of WHY men suck so much, ofc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 03:21 PM
21	Men on the whole are objectively worth less to date now than ever I believe Do you feel modern women are significantly more capable?	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 03:08 PM
2	Would you like to live in a post gender society? Seems a moot question. I see no way to eliminate gender roles or expectations without some highly dystopian technology nightmare scenario. So we live in the world we live in. Pretending we can eliminate gender roles when we cannot ends up in a mess since no real control or balancing of the roles that persist. OTOH I definitely don't want the most extreme gender roles human societies have produced, either. Looking for roles that work and where overall each gender feels treated fairly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 02:22 PM
–	We men are setting ourselves back. And there's no excuse The genders are different. Depending on the overall context, that means that one gender or the other will have more 'market value' in mating. At the same time, societies tend to need widespread monogamy with high pairing rates. This doesn't work well if one gender has way more leverage. As a result, mating markets have generally been regulated to make it all work out. Right now, the mating market is the least regulated it has ever been. Overall conditions are such that female market value is hig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 08:16 AM
6	CMV: It is not the premature ejaculator's job to solve the problem, it is the other partner's, because they are the ones who wants them to last longer Feels like a weird 'gotcha' post. Women have their share of issues with sexual double standards, sure. But as a guy, I also prefer lasting longer than 2 min. And I like my partners to enjoy sex.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 08:07 AM
3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy These are all real questions that societies in the past have answered in different ways. The point is that there is still an age-old problem to be solved. Can we find a better way to solve it? Maybe. Hopefully. But it does have to be solved.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 05:29 AM
3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy And we know this is an enormous problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 05:27 AM
3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy Autonomy isn't an absolute. Societies have used different carrots and sticks to get what they need. Is social pressure stripping people of autonomy? I dunno. But the point is that nihilism isn't an option. If enough people don't want kids or to pair, societies don't get to say 'Oh well. I guess we didn't work out. Maybe some other society with full individual autonomy will happen to work out.'	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 02:45 AM
-3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy If the mating system doesn't work, eventually your society just fails or gets conquered. This is a worse outcome than anything else, which is why every society ever has regulated and intervened in mating. Yes, this has always created countless tragedies on an individual level, as can be seen in literature and mythology from everywhere. But the alternative is worse. So the point is that certain aggregate outcomes are non-negotiable. They have to happen. They will eventually be made to happen if t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 02:29 AM
3	Attraction isn’t a meritocracy This is naive. Society has needs from the mating market. There have to be enough pairings. There have to be enough families and children. What that threshold is, and how society should go about making sure it is met are definitely debatable. What is not debatable is the idea that everyone can just do as they please and whatever happens happens. That doesn't work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 02:04 AM
0	Men nowadays want babies to grow up in paid care I'm not 'trad'. But those who want a more trad social system that makes it work at scale. Men complain that they are asked to pay for dates in a social system where the genders are economically equal. If men were the workers and women stayed at home, these men wouldn't complain about footing the bills.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/07/26 03:39 PM
2	Fellas, is it discriminatory for women to experience attraction? Discuss On an individual level, to the extent that our standards are shaped by culture and the environment, these are still not the types of lifelong external influences that are easily undone by the individual, even if you understand your standards have been inflated past what biology requires and wanted to truly lower them. On a macro level, some degree of female hypergamy is natural and normal for various reasons. But in aggregate female standards can't become such that a high and stable monogamous p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/07/26 01:27 AM
3	Fellas, is it discriminatory for women to experience attraction? Discuss There's nothing wrong with women treating more attractive men differently. It is human. But women need to be more candid about their desires and preferences. Not in person, but when speaking more generally and conceptually about female sexuality. More importantly, there has to be an understanding that IF in the big picture male or female standards and preferences becomes such that widespread monogamy with high pairing rates becomes impossible to reach, then we all have a problem. This could in t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 09:29 PM
0	If woman understand there own attraction and stuff, why then people do studies? For a variety of reasons--some more understandable than others--women don't like generalizations about women. Consciously and unconsciously they seem to undermine any attempt at generalizations becoming consensus wisdom. They would rather men deal with each woman as an individual entirely.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 06:42 PM
1	It’s not that women having inflated egos. It’s just a lot of guys underestimate a woman’s worth in the dating market. People have projected their beliefs about 'true' human nature and sexuality onto the prehistoric period for a long time. So I'm skeptical about a lot of takes. You lack the social control technology to really enslave anyone, including your own women. But I dunno how gender egalitarian it all is. Men are absolutely calling the most important shots. I agree, though, that the real Y Chromosome bottlenecks appear as humans adapt to agriculture before civilization. Human sexual selection is similarly…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 06:29 PM
4	It’s not that women having inflated egos. It’s just a lot of guys underestimate a woman’s worth in the dating market. Generally speaking, differences in reproductive success levels were not the result of women just being more selective and only choosing to share the best men. Usually, different death and violence patterns were the main reason. Sometimes some hoarding of women by top men. But most of our evolutionary history is during prehistory. In a hunter gatherer tribe, you aren't gonna have a lot of healthy males of reproductive age who don't get paired with a woman while there are surplus, unpaired female …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 03:29 PM
2	Women, when you ask a man to take out the trash, what is the time limit for the man to do that? I think caring and reasonable partners realize that--within reason--you have to match the standards of the partner who cares more. If not, they will always be uncomfortable in their home. What kind of life is that? Why would you do that to someone you love when you could just put in a bit more work and be a bit more timely about it?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 03:17 PM
1	Women are not masculine enough. Classic case of coming to the wrong conclusion about there still being gendered expectations and differences. The point is that these show that a society without gendered roles is impossible, not that these are the last things we need to deal with before we get to a genderless utopia. Furthermore, to the extent women push themselves to be more 'masculine' than their natures in some areas, this is not without costs and stresses. Naturally, areas around actual sex will be the ones most resistant t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 12:13 PM
1	Women, when you ask a man to take out the trash, what is the time limit for the man to do that? If someone is always doing the asking for things, you probably have a bigger issue than what is the time limit for following her order lol. So the more interesting question is assuming things are even, what is the priority for keeping things constantly in good order? How long can you leave dishes in the sink? How long can the bathroom need a cleaning? Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 12:05 PM
5	Women, when you ask a man to take out the trash, what is the time limit for the man to do that? This is an interesting topic, but needs better framing. Let's assume here both partners are carrying their fair share of the total work in the relationship, including 'mental load'. The issue is more that women have a lower disgust threshold and tend to have more diffuse awareness and less of a single-minded focus. So what guys wanna know is how long can the house be in disarray in various ways while I finish one thing first before I get to the next. And IMO the answer is 'not very fucking long'…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 11:54 AM
1	Question for red pill: what of genuinely sexually submissive men? The point of trying to show hypocrisy and double standards is to ultimately show that the genderless, blank slate ideology is wrong. Thus, wherever society goes, it will have be based on the truth that there remain and always will remain strong gendered expectations. It isn't to try to get society to actually undo the different gendered burdens of performance entirely, which is impossible. At best they get tweaked and tuned to be as fair as possible overall.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/26 09:22 PM
–	"What about women" is deflection from personal responsibility. Of course, purely for its own sake, pussy has more market value than dick. And that would be fine if sex were some side hobby unrelated to anything else, like say bowling or quilting. But sex is way more than that. Mating is essential to a healthy society. So just because pussy > dick doesn't mean a healthy society is going to let the mating market become a totally unregulated one all about mutual desire to fuck or not. Maybe men should have different standards, though it probably needs a cultur…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 03:00 PM
2	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Well, no society has ever let natural and sexual selection reign supreme, unregulated. Your own tribe will die long before any kind possible evolutionary benefits kick in. It does seem that a direct desire for kids is primarily environmental, yeah. But we have to have them and either we figure out how to do it under our current Liberal Enlightenment paradigm, or Liberalism dies and some other mode of being and belief takes over and finds a way to get the kiddies.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 02:56 PM
–	Is it bad that I cut ties and ignore women after rejection? It depends. If you can manage your feelings, no reason not to have a girl who rejected you in your life in some way. The issue is that 'friend' covers too much ground. There can be many types of friends. So you can make sure the relationship is mutually beneficial and walk away THEN if she can't do that. But if you know having her around will keep giving you feels, then yeah, bail out immediately.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 10:10 AM
1	If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted. Academics all model mating using economic models. You are just being dense on purpose to start shit. It's exhausting.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 05:25 AM
4	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Evolution is generally parsimonious, but sometimes it can do crazy shit. Still, most academics think the majority of any instinct to settle down and reproduce is found in the sexual instinct. No need to have that many instincts to reproduce directly when the instinct to fuck always led to kids.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 04:48 AM
4	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Haha fair. Maybe just a different idea about what moral is, especially in situations where there is no perfect solution.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 02:26 AM
6	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture I'm more saying that unless technology + some bright new idea create an alternative endgoal, we have to get to sufficiently high and stable pairing rates. Period. I'm totally open to any ideas about how to get there, but history suggests that there will be no perfect manner that doesn't cause some tragedies at the individual level. Or that doesn't involve both carrot and stick. The point is understanding that these cannot be entirely individual choices. Society has critical needs that must be me…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 02:19 AM
5	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Thanks. Though my reasoning goes the opposite of yours. I think past societies were sane and we are the insane ones for thinking we can just do as we please. Might be nice if possible. Maybe. But technology and birth control didn't eliminate all the reasons why societies do need high heterosexual pairing rates that are sufficiently stable. Possibly, that requirement was met in ways that were not as fair to both sexes as they could have been. That just means trying to be more fair now. But no avo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 02:01 AM
2	Why do they say that there are no benefits in a man having a woman as a friend? It's hilarious that English has too many words in general, but uses the one word 'friend' to cover so much ground. Having women in your non-romantic life can be great. But the best relationships with 'friends' from the other gender have realistic ideas about what that friendship can be like.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 01:54 AM
–	Would you marry women who have plastic surgery? Depends on too many things. But a lot of this is contextual, i.e. not just about the surgery but what being willing to get it says about a person. Well, what it says is changing constantly given how normalized it is all becoming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 01:51 AM
6	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture I think wider context is useful. Societies around the world for all time have enforced widespread monogamy with varying degrees of carrot and stick. Everyone was well aware that at scale this produced countless individual tragedies, for both genders regardless of which you feel was more impacted. So why did they do this? And whatever the specific details, wouldn't one expect pairing rates to decline as this social pressure is reduced?	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 01:47 AM
1	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Yeah, CompHet is not exactly the right term for this. But no doubt that women are more innately selective, and that on a biological basis, women are more disturbed than men are if they are not happy with their primary relationship. But I think the argument goes too far, or at least is premature. All evidence still suggests that societies must have sufficiently high and stable heterosexual pairing rates. Must happen. Women need it as much as men in their role as citizens and members of society. S…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 01:41 AM
5	People want for relationships is strongly tied to what they have been taught and culture Yes. Nature and nurture are always both in the mix. But this dodges the relative importance. Some argue that, yes, a different culture and environment in past times encouraged (forced, some say) women to have to choose one of the men they could land. But they also argue that biology is different enough that forcing the average woman to marry the average man is far more onerous to her than to him. Widespread, socially enforced monogamy always oppressed women more than men, no matter the details, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/26 01:31 AM
1	If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted. Men can be delusional about their prospects as well. That is the only delusion I'm referring to. If one understands where they stand and still doesn't want what is offered, that is not delusion.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 11:45 PM
1	If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted. That's the fucking strawman. I don't make policy. I don't have to make some decision right now based on imperfect information. I just have an academic-style interest. All possibilities are on the table for me. I am not pretending about any uncertainties--I am uncertain. Do I have best guesses on what I think is most likely, sure. But nothing is set in my mind. The delusion I was speaking about is delusion about where one stands in the mating hierarchy, what one can get for sex and what one can g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 11:08 PM
–	Men don't ask women to have low standards, they ask women to have realistic ones The currently very degraded manosphere (pay for clicks deranges anything and everything) tends to make the argument poorly. The real argument is that we know both nature and nurture play a role in attraction standards and preferences. But it is not clear how strong each is, or how easy it is to manipulate nurture to achieve desired results. That said, given that all evidence still suggests we do need widespread monogamous pairings at high rates, you naturally would start with trying to change th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 10:56 PM
3	Men don't ask women to have low standards, they ask women to have realistic ones Well, you smuggled in an assumption that many would argue with: that it is normal, natural, and or desirable for women to be attracted to their rough male mate value rank equivalents as this is needed to make the math on widespread monogamy math. It is true that many women are deluded about their own mate value or what they can land. And less delusion is generally a good thing. However, this does not necessarily mean that if you magically dispelled all female mate value delusion that the women a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 10:40 AM
1	If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted. Every serious academic uses economic modeling as one lens for looking at aggregate dynamics in the mating market. Types only go so far. The point is that the rankings exist as theoretical constructs. Someone out there is whatever rank; but you can't actually go around and give individual people a mate value or mate value rank. Everything you've written is an insane strawman. It is very possible that men became less attractive, for various reasons. The point is that all evidence suggests that the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/07/26 02:53 AM
3	If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted. Sure. But the male complaint is that market values have become deranged. A guy who ranks say 50th percentile in mate value among men can probably accept that some female hypergamy by this metric is normal. So if the market is showing his equivalent is a 40th percentile mate value woman as ranked among women, OK. If the market is starting to clear at 50th percentile guy matches with with 20th percentile girl, then something is fucked up. The real argument isn't that either gender should necessari…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/07/26 02:17 PM
4	What do you think about the patriarchy theory being used in therapy? Therapy was never the 'mental health' solution men are looking for. Avoid. (Yes, there be exceptions.)	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/07/26 12:04 PM
21	Being her best sexually isn't that important and is unrealistic Being her absolute best was always an overly extreme and weak form of the argument. In most cases, a woman probably can't even determine her absolute best. The point was that if there is enough of a gap between you are her best (at least in her perception) past lovers, this would cause problems.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/07/26 12:20 PM
1	Women are not more emotionally intelligent, Men just complain less I question whether the literature shows men are equal to women at emotional regulation. But that gets complicated, and depends on which emotions, etc. But EQ encompasses more than just personal emotional regulation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 09:30 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. Ah. Perhaps a miscommunication. I'm in no way talking about what strategies an individual should pursue in the world we live in. I'm speculating about avenues that society may evolve along to deal with aggregate results that would be untenable for either gender. Men won't tolerate a society where, at scale, women are fucking guys they had way more desire for (however long it took for that lust to be generated) when the women are young, leaving all sorts of average men out of the game then. But l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 07:09 PM
3	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. I think all these things, which once existed, are on the table for possibly coming back. I have an open mind. The mating and family creation system eventually has to work, whatever it takes. And we should aim at making things as gender fair as possible in the process. I think you are looking for someone to fight with, but I'm really not that guy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 07:03 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. It's what is happening at scale that matters. How often is joe average actually getting a shot with stacy? Sleeping with Stacy? What about mid-level Nancy and Chad? I dunno. The facts on the ground aren't clear. Many argue that mid-level women aren't actually willing to date with their mate value rank equivalents, especially when young. We are speculating on the direction society might go, with social enforcement and such. Not on how an individual should act or feel right now, given how things a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 05:45 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. I'm not sure the dynamics are as symmetrical as you suggest. But sure, this works both ways. Society will have to evolve to accommodate the psychological needs of both genders in these areas.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 05:36 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. maybe true at this point, but even before they had double and tripled down on this, they denied it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 05:33 PM
2	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. That's a fair argument. I'm just saying there is a common argument made that if he makes more per hour it is fair for him to work less total hours.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 02:46 PM
2	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. Healthy societies need replacement birthrates. Whether we are currently and temporarily overpopulated is a different question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 02:45 PM
0	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. This is a much more generalized issue than one nation's current geopolitical standing. It is a universal fact of life for all nations over time, whether people see it or not. But all good. The important thing is for women to think about mating issues at this level. What will be the overall effect if we allow this or do that, etc. Not the idea that everyone can do whatever they want and society will just have to accept the results, whatever they be.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 01:24 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. The point is that we can't psychologically get over some things if presented in certain ways and contexts. First off, the details matter. How much more desire was there for the hook up than the husband? What does that translate into with respect to the sexual experience? If the gap is not large, then maybe it can be lived with. If it is large, then maybe things need to be structured differently. There was more sexual restrain in the past. At least your wife didn't actually sleep with the hot guy…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 01:21 PM
1	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. The ultimate rule is that societies compete with one another materially. If you fall behind your neighbors, eventually they conquer or kill you. Mating systems evolved over time based on what supports societies in this. Somehow, basically the same system evolved almost everywhere. There was no secret meeting of patriarchs that imposed this on everyone. The widespread monogamy system meets many critical needs, for all its flaws. It prevents there being too many sexually excluded men, who will gen…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 01:06 PM
4	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. I think that effort and hours have to be equalized. If he puts in 60 hours a week between work and chores, and she puts in 70, that is unfair even if he makes more money.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 01:02 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. Yeah. I don't fully understand women's reluctance to admit to any generalized truths about groups of people.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 01:00 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. Maybe I could have worded it better, but I tried to qualify. I think men can live with not being the most immediately desirable so long as they are confident that that attraction generated over time is not on some qualitatively different and lower level than the immediate attraction felt for 'Chad', as they call it. Both men and women have to accept that their partners have probably felt more raw lust for other people. So it is a matter of degree, how much status is attributed to these differenc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 12:59 PM
–	Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did. You've taken a way too extreme position as to what modern men want. What they dream of and what they can live with are different things. Above all, modern men want a basic understanding of the generalities of female desire. Yes, individual women differ; but men need a generalized context first to operate within. They lack this, so you see derangement. Women seem determined to not provide this understanding. I think modern men want their partners to prefer having sex with them to not. And it not …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 12:30 PM
4	You shouldn't be angry at women The double standards are worth pointing out, but for the opposite reason the OP implies. These are not final inequalities to be eliminated on the way to a society with no gendered roles and expectations. Rather, they show that the 60s blank slatist dream was wrong and is dead. We will have to adapt to some gendered roles and expectations. And yes, maybe men would abuse sexual leverage. Maybe women do. At the individual level, people do bad things when they can, or moreso when actually incentiviz…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 12:16 PM
0	Men are incompatible with long term partnership Both genders are incompatible with long term partnership. And yet almost all societies have forced it on people, creating countless individual tragedies that everyone was fully aware of. You can see it in literature and art. So why would they do this? Did they enjoy pain? Has technology magically eliminated whatever needs it was that made past societies inflict this on people?	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 12:10 PM
6	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. I don't think it is clear that lack of attraction to their mate value rank equivalents is the only or main issue. Women are complaining that even when attraction is there, women do more in the relationship. Even if it is a net plus for both, the inequality is maddening and ruins it. Just can't be lived with even if both partners doing better than being single. And many women are saying that it isn't even a net plus for them. Men just don't do half. As they get older, they want replacement mother…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 12:01 PM
2	For the most part, the idea of "unpaid domestic labor" either doesn't exist or isn't relevant 30 min could also be noise or something else. But yeah, a common dynamic we see is that as groups get more equal they start to stress more about smaller remaining inequalities (true or perceived). I think this is likely because as they get more equal they can compete more, and in competitive positions even small disadvantages tend to really piss you off.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 09:49 AM
2	For the most part, the idea of "unpaid domestic labor" either doesn't exist or isn't relevant Yes, some of this is political. But most women I know strongly believe that women do more inside a relationship than men when you add it all up. Could be true, but women are also prone to mass hysterias. So dunno.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 09:29 AM
0	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. So is the issue a lack of fundamental attraction to the men they can land, i.e. that innate female sexual selectivity? Or are men doing something wrong? I don't think a society can work where you just leave dating to a fully free market dynamic and let male competition for female drive men to work harder and harder to date. Harder than women do. But if it is more about men working smarter and not harder, i.e. changing their priorities for the hours they put in, that is something that can be work…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 09:27 AM
-2	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. Unless you figure out some alternative to widespread, socially enforced monogamy, then these women who currently figure life is better without a man have to pair with a man somehow. 'Nothing to be done' is not an option. And this answer tends to involve assuming a bunch of modern liberal humanism and individualism premises. I like some of these premises, though not all. But if I want to keep them then you have find a way to rejuvenate the monogamy system somehow while maintaining them. This idea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 09:24 AM
2	As a single man who has no children, yes, I am expendable. I think you are on the right track but need to broaden and retool the argument. To me, the overarching point is that men and women are different. There will always be gendered expectations and roles. The idea of everyone being a unique snowflake who should have no pre-existing expectations based on their gender is silly. Not how humans work. So yes, men are more expendable in a certain sense. Men should go down with the ship before women and kids. However, once you toss out the idea that the gen…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 05:08 AM
12	Let's speculate about men who claim misandry, etc. Yes, lots of men are stupid about this stuff. But there was always an underlying strong form of the argument that gets ignored a lot. Culture and environment impact desire patterns for both genders. Society has a need for people to pair up at high rates in stable relationships that create families. The society that needs this includes women. If, and it is a big if, women's selectivity levels are growing to a point where society can't get enough coupling, we shouldn't just assume this is all biol…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 05:00 AM
4	Women are not more emotionally intelligent, Men just complain less Whatever EQ is--and it is not nearly as defined or testable as IQ--it is distinct from a gender's emotional management strategy. EQ is capability. How the genders behave involves capabilities but a lot more factors. All research shows girls having better emotional recognition capacities than boys from a young age. Part of this is that girls develop faster and the gap does close, but never seems to entirely.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/26 04:48 AM
3	For the most part, the idea of "unpaid domestic labor" either doesn't exist or isn't relevant I think the OP is conflating two issues. Whether men and women contribute equally to the relationship overall is a different question, particularly when both work full time. The studies suggest that both partners put in about the same amount of hours when both work full time, with the man typically putting in more paid hours and the woman putting in more hours at home. But studies are just studies. Anecdotally, the idea of the 'second shift' remains very strong among most women. And women have r…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 08:17 PM
–	In my opinion, it’s pointless to blame women for their dating standards. There is a nature and a nurture element to female attraction and standards, as there are for male preferences. The mating and family creation system of a society has to work. Everyone is responsible for that as citizens in democracies and members of society. Anyone who sees either gender's preferences or standards shift in a way that makes the mating system more dysfunctional and depresses pairing rates is to 'blame' if they just casually accept this and say there is nothing to be done. We don't…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 08:00 PM
–	If All Women Want/Pursuing Tall Attractive Men, By Red Pill, Wouldnt That Mean Most Men are Doomed to be Beta buxes, "Safe guys" or Unselected? And Perhaps need to be Grouped as The Same Tier of Men? It's a mistake to think every society in human history conceived of sexuality and mating in exactly the same ways, or had the same overall psychologies. People make the same mistake looking forward, imagining our society will always look at these things the way we do now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/26 09:29 AM
0	The Reactions to the Ice Spice/Tobey Macguire Kissing situation DEBUNKS the AGE GAP OUTRAGE myth Youthfulness is not nearly as hardwired into women's desire centers as it is to men's. Though all things being equal, women do tend to prefer an age closer to their own. But all things are rarely equal. So culture and environment play a big role in how women see the tradeoffs between a guy being older vs. the things that age might bring (maturity, competence, confidence, resources). Cultures set norms for various reasons. It is true that women today are trying to set norms that reduce the preval…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/26 07:53 AM
2	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. Yep. And I suspect that female appearance impacts male orgasm intensity, though probably not as much. And despite the 'just go down on her' messaging we hear, a lot more women than you think don't really encourage that, particularly when younger and/or in casual or at starts of relationships. Lots of possible reasons.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 12:32 PM
3	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. haha. Well, I think the issue is actually interesting and complex if one truly analyzes it. And unlike others have suggested. I'm not discounting the possibility that men are more selfish or less skilled overall, though if so, it makes sense to ask why. But you can't get all that just from the gap itself given how different the genders are.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 12:09 PM
2	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. Yes. But I said 'just' do that. And a lot of sex is not between experienced couples with good relationships. Not to say there arent tons of bad and selfish lovers of both genders out there. And in such cases, due to biology, he still gets off but she doesn't. That said, even for men, there can be a big difference between great sex and just getting off.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 11:50 AM
1	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. Your reading skills need work. At any rate, yes, the orgasm gap is evidence. As are the experiences of women. But a serious discussion has to put things into context. Lesbian and hetero sex is very different. Women tend to be more anxious and self-conscious in hetero sex. On average, most women would not be happy with a male sexual partner who just went down on them or used toys and fingers to get them off like a Lesbian did. Two people of the same gender, especially when young and inexperienced…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 09:35 AM
-2	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. "This includes the assertion that the gap is obviously the result of men caring about their partner's pleasure less or having less sexual skill than women." There is a lot of room for male sexual selfishness to be true. I said it is not obvious just from the gap. I am not dismissing it out of hand at all. I'm saying the gap itself does not prove this. No interest in rehashing other disagreements outside of this topic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 09:21 AM
-4	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. The genders are not the same. Neither in basic sexual mechanics or in the sexual expectations of one another. So an orgasm gap is not prima facie evidence that one gender is better at sex or cares more about their partner's pleasure. Could these charges be true? Sure. But you need more evidence than the orgasm gap.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 09:09 AM
-4	As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair. The orgasm gap discussion is full of bullshit. This includes the assertion that the gap is obviously the result of men caring about their partner's pleasure less or having less sexual skill than women. It also includes the very wrongheaded comparison to lesbian orgasm rates.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 08:53 AM
1	"Hypergamy" is just a way to blame women for men's lack of effort to attract them Hypergamy is an attempt to describe gender differences in sexual strategy and desire. It is not a perfected concept by any means, but why don't you give it a go then? TRP hypergamy is NOT the same as the original use of the term that started when anthropologists were describing Indian mating iirc. Nature and nurture both impact male and female sexuality. It is difficult to control the nurture aspect individually, and blaming individual women for the results of cultural and environmental impact o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/26 08:50 AM
3	No woman who is not already thinking about divorce will actually gonna divorce you for getting a paternity test There's no easy out here. If the default is no test, then asking for a test is gonna cost you. Just like if the default were to test and your wife said 'we don't really need this, do we?' it would cost her. Either men get the default changed or they have to live with the emotional consequences of asking for a test.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 04:34 PM
–	it is acceptible for women to dress in revealing outfits only because of male-dominated psyops Why women wear what they wear is complicated and the OP is too reductive. Furthermore, while men often get the causation of the underlying behavior right or close enough, they often fail at understanding how it is all subjectively perceived and rationalized in the actual minds of the women. So when women hear men being wrong on that part they often just call bullshit on the entire argument, even when it contains truths in other parts of it. And the answer to the OP's question is that society nev…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 02:27 PM
1	Theory of mind We have no choice but to make our best guesses about these things. And about the level of certainty of the guesses. Then we act on that as best we can. No other real choice.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 01:50 PM
3	Theory of mind But the default isn't that it is all nurture and no nature, either. I just think we have recalibrate expectations on certainty. Our best stabs at the truth in this stuff will not be fully provable. But there is no burden of proof like a courtroom where if you cannot prove something beyond a reasonable doubt then we assume the status quo or some other theory is right, since that theory also couldn't meet this burden.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 12:57 PM
–	Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married him I don't have all the answers for sure. Technology has changed things so at the very least old answers need updating. I don't think we will get progress until the 60s blank slatism is fully done with and women can start contributing more to a discussion of what to do more honestly, less blinded by the idea that we can all just be unique individuals with no gendered expectations. If someone can find some other system than widespread, stable marriage that works, I'm all ears. That system produced c…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 12:50 PM
–	Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married him Freud's 'penis envy' was really agency envy on the part of more agentic women who felt trapped by female gender roles. A not small number of women have mixed feelings about male sexuality. Can seem gross on the one hand, but can also strike many as innately more agentic. So many women started LARPing that women should and can fuck just like men. And I think a lot of men don't get that if you have the high pairing rates with stable longterm marriages many claim they want as a social ideal, this p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 12:32 PM
2	Men have no sympathy towards women On mating issues, women are being rightfully blamed for not giving a shit about pairing rates or relationship stability in term of the big picture. Men are operating under the idea that for society to work, enough pairing must happen. And relationships / marriages can't just all end easily and quickly. Not good for kids. Not good for anyone. This all requires women having standards and preferences that fall within certain ranges. If the male belief that women should be sufficiently attracted to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 12:20 PM
1	Women who don't pay for thier stuff or avoid 50-50 are red flags. This is the type of issue that is never fixed without a strong cultural norm. Some places in Europe seem to be moving towards a new one of 50/50. In North America, there is still a mix of norms and expectations and nothing predominates. If you are too rigid about 50/50 on the individual level you will filter out a ton of great women who just haven't thought deeply about this and are going with the flow of whatever culture and ideology bubble they happen to be in. So there is no perfect answer he…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 06:45 AM
–	Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married him Lack of candor--not an on individual level but on a more academic level--as well as a weird desire for influential women to LARP that the female libido is the same as the male has caused a problem. I do not necessarily think modern sexual expectations are rooted in reality. And the media is sex 24/7 and contributes to this idea that a man should expect sex regularly from puberty until his dick stops working. Or that women should also want that if they are pyschologically healthy and with the rig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/26 05:36 AM
–	If unselected men become a threat, society is more likely to get rid of them then placate them You are missing the point. The point is that we have to find a way to make it so that men and women are choosing one another in sufficient numbers, whatever those numbers might be. Not to think that it is OK whatever happens so long as it is all free choice. That isn't reality.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 09:56 PM
–	If unselected men become a threat, society is more likely to get rid of them then placate them You are making arguments about foundational matters to civilizations that go way beyond 'consent'. Consent is a critical value, but societies have to work to make it so. We can't bind future generations, and no future (or past) society is going to let itself die because people of either gender just didn't want to pair up enough or have enough kids. At some point, societies will do what it takes to survive, and sometimes what it takes is very ugly. Calling this basic reality some sort of threat m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 09:16 PM
1	There are plenty of single and childless men who are just as happy as single and childless women, we just don’t see it advertised as much I don't think it is clear that men gain more from pairing with women than than the other way around. There is a lot of correlation does not equal causation in those stats. Men do less well than women do when they have no external source of meaning. When there is less structure. Etc. Pairing, making a family, and all the structure and meaning that come with that are a big part of why men do worse when unpaired than women--it isn't necessarily that the woman herself is providing more to the man th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 08:58 PM
–	If unselected men become a threat, society is more likely to get rid of them then placate them I'm trying to follow your argument. Why do you feel less and less men will be chosen? Is it that this is female nature to find few men worth pairing with unless forced by either survival necessities, social pressure, or religious programming?	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 08:40 PM
–	If unselected men become a threat, society is more likely to get rid of them then placate them The difference in male and female reproductive success rates is rarely caused primarily by female selectivity. Usually it has to do with conflict and death.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 08:35 PM
–	If unselected men become a threat, society is more likely to get rid of them then placate them There is some level of male sexual exclusion that will end a society. What the threshold is is hard to say, but can you really imagine a society with say 80% of men never touching a woman working? Competing successfully with other societies? Obviously, 80% is an extreme number I'm pulling out of my ass just to make the contextual point that there is clearly some limit to this. Beyond that, it matters WHY some excessive amount of men are not pairing. Have the men in a given society just become wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/26 08:29 PM
1	The sexual revolution and casual sex brought about delusional standards - even for women who are not promiscuous. It is true that a lot of women are delusional about their chances. However, whether the actual standards are themselves delusional is hard to say. Many women who were deluded and had their eyes opened about their league and what they can land then just go to Plan B: "Yep. I am not attracted to the guys I can land. I'm not even better or more attractive than they are. But I don't feel anything for them so I guess I'll just stay unattached until/unless I get lucky and find a guy I can land who I d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/06/26 07:32 PM
2	Why should men feel sympathy for women’s right to an abortion? Framing abortion in terms of rights is a bad way to think about it as there are other beliefs and issues at play. But however you come down on abortion, basing your beliefs on trying to hurt women because they hurt you seems like a bad idea.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/26 11:54 AM
1	I don't understand why men take pride in saying they have low standards Most men still have an ingrained, if implicit, belief that for society to work you need a fairly high and stable heterosexual pairing rate. Thus, if there is a moral angle to standards, it is not having standards that would impede this from happening. A lot of men aren't saying they have no standards, but rather that they have preferences that would allow them to pair with women of roughly equal mate value rank, thus allowing for the widespread monogamy paradigm to thrive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/26 11:51 AM
–	TRP is fundamentally opposed to right wing politics and tradcon The problem is that the Right tends to be a lot more heterogeneous than the Left. So it is hard to say what is or is not compatible with right wing politics. In the beginning, most TRPers were somewhat right and traditional in theory, but most decided that changes along those lines would never happen in their lifetimes. Thus, the focus became more on TRP being an amoral praxis and 'enjoy the decline'.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/26 11:47 AM
1	The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative. I don't think I changed my position. Perhaps I just wasn't clear. But the point to me is that we don't need (and can't have) total certainty. That still doesn't mean we don't have best guesses. We are gendered beings who will see people as male or female. There will always be roles and expectations--so a matter of figuring out what they should be as best we can. Of course much of this stuff is emergent and not fully planned out, but the conscious planning and explicit analysis plays its part in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 07:33 PM
1	The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative. They say nature holds nurture on a leash, but you never know how long the leash is precisely. So nobody knows these answers. But I don't even see why we would think we are remotely close to being able to eliminate gender roles, much less would want to.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 04:07 PM
1	Are you sure size doesn't matter? Women like male status. There seem to be some biological constraints around exactly what type of status we can make women care about in mating, but this is actually fairly plastic culturally. There is another aspect, though I doubt it applies to you. But as we all get on the hedonic treadmill and degenerate, we will do so in gendered ways. Men are not that picky, but a man with options that gets into maximizing sexual pleasure and excitement is going to increasingly want hotter and younger girls…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 03:36 PM
1	The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative. I originally meant that hubris is the fatal flaw of blank slatists. I am fatalistic that we are always somewhat bound by human nature, including gendered natures. But that does not seem like such a bad fate, really. Why would we want men and women to basically be interchangeable?	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 03:27 PM
2	Are you sure size doesn't matter? I have never heard that one. I'll be on the lookout to see if I ever do again. Women have been sexually selecting for larger penises in humans over time, but not a massive selection effect, either. And there could be many reasons for it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 11:23 AM
6	Are you sure size doesn't matter? OP is missing a key factor: status. If men allow things to become intrasexual status contests among men, women will gladly oblige. A big part of penis size is a woman thinking 'am I such a loser among women that I deserve a small-dicked man?'. It isn't necessarily about pleasure or orgasms or whatever.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 08:54 AM
–	Should I give up on trying to get my girlfriend to orgasm? Hitachi	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 08:51 AM
3	Is true that men marry the convenient women they CAN have, while spend their lives secretly obsessing over the women they truly desire but can't have? Not normally. But in these digitized times, media is driving everyone's poor chimp brains crazy on multiple fronts, including the romantic and sexual. So depends what you mean by 'obsessing', but I'd say a lot of men an women are varying degrees of sexually infatuated with online idols and celebrities who look a lot better than themselves or their mates.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 08:17 AM
3	Women have delusions of grandeur in relationships Whether they know it or not, I think on some level women are trying to process the natural human reaction to greater costs and greater leverage in a supposed free market situation. Even if both partners contribute equally, women today rate the costs of pregnancy and early infant care pretty highly. Beyond that, even without those costs, if you have more demand than the other, why shouldn't the terms of the deal reflect your superior bargaining position to some extent? This is human nature. Men w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 08:15 AM
2	The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative. Hubris is the fatal flaw of progressives. They assume you just need to get the right culture and humans can be made to act however you want them to act. If accepting that there are strong limits imposed by human and gendered natures, even while also knowing we don't know exactly what those limits are, means I'm fatalist, so be it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 07:34 AM
7	The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative. This is the fatal blank slatist hubris. You are basically handwaving off biological differences, including evolved psychological ones. We can't fully parse nature from nurture, and even when there is a nature, strong enough nurture can sometimes override it. But it's important to have humility with respect to what we don't know and with respect to what we can do. It seems very unlikely you can just erase important evolved differences that are relevant to the points being made in the OP. In fact,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 08:05 PM
–	We shouldn't incentive young heterosexuals to have relationships, maybe the opposite This is nuts. Whatever your ideal population level, we are on track to overshoot that on the way down. No need to further incentivize that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 03:46 AM
1	A lot of men do not believe women as a whole should have bodily autonomy, which can be proven by a simply hypothetical. And men must fuck women. Babies must be made. Etc. This is not a threat. This is Civilization 101. It simply must happen. Find a way to make it happen that is fair for both genders rather than trying to get impossible promises that if women decide they don't want to touch any men or have any babies everything will be OK. Not how reality works.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/26 05:43 PM
0	A lot of men do not believe women as a whole should have bodily autonomy, which can be proven by a simply hypothetical. It depends. If you have a culture + environment setup where, even with absolute bodily autonomy, people in the aggregate pair up and reproduce in ways that meet societies needs, then all good. If not, then no. Applies to both genders.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/26 05:41 PM
1	A lot of men do not believe women as a whole should have bodily autonomy, which can be proven by a simply hypothetical. Yes, there is some threshold of unpaired men that would likely cause enormous problems. For women, too. If your idea is that either gender can just do whatever it wants, or not do whatever, then you are wrong. It just isn't reality. You need replacement population. You need not too many unpaired men. you need a working family structure. These aren't optional. Women should be focusing on how to accomplish that, not looking for impossible guarantees that women can just walk away from men at any sc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/26 03:56 PM
0	A lot of men do not believe women as a whole should have bodily autonomy, which can be proven by a simply hypothetical. Rights, such as bodily autonomy, are not absolute and exist downstream of a society that can provide them. Societies have needs that the mating system must meet. Ideally, things are as voluntary as possible on the individual level and the aggregate results fall within an acceptable range. The ideal pairing rate is not necessarily 100%--the North West European mating pattern of the past few hundred years saw ~20-25% of women not marry, for example. And the NW Euros surged ahead of everyone in dev…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/26 03:49 PM
1	Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding. Maybe the genders can never fully understand one another, but I think that if both are candid then the genders can understand one another enough that culture can perhaps evolve on a more accurate factual base going forward.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 03:57 PM
6	men DO care about a woman’s income A woman's resources and worldly competence levels are not tied directly into male desire wiring the way the opposite is true. But depending on the environment and culture, of course a woman's income can make her a more overall attractive partner, even a short-term partner sometimes. But the dynamics are different between the genders here, and understanding the differences is key to better calibrating behavior and expectations.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 06:12 AM
1	Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding. I think it is evolved behavior that operates primarily independently of whether there is an actual need for it materially. This isn't bad or good--it just is. But when discussing gender balance and issues it will be good to note that one gender is testing the other for competence and strength a lot more despite other policies designed to push for material and worldly competence equality between the genders. There is a tension here, but it may be acceptable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 06:08 AM
-1	Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding. I guess we'll agree to disagree. I think women actively frustrate having an accurate common narrative about female sexuality, all idiosyncrasies notwithstanding.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 04:56 PM
0	Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding. The female comments seem ultimately manipulative. Yes, as men do, women also vary greatly individually. However, there are clearly enough commonalities that they could serve as a useful context for men to then understand the peculiarities of any one woman. On some level, women seem to not trust men. Like if they explore and reveal the common truths then they think men will just treat that as a one-size-fits-all formula and not put in the work to truly see the woman in front of them. So better of…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 12:07 PM
7	Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding. I agree that the M-W point didn't really land. But she is actually being very truthful about the deep tensions in female sexuality that contribute greatly to the overall confusion. That said, women could provide better answers if they wanted, but this tension she mentions also gets in the way of that: they don't want to. They want a guy to figure her out. It is sorta a test she can't avoid giving even if part of her wanted to.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 12:04 PM
1	Men dating down OVERALL women date up in mate value rank. But the dynamics are different at different parts of the SMP. This is true for many things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/06/26 02:57 PM
-1	Men dating down Yeah, as I said, at the ceiling things change. A 99.99th percentile mate value woman cannot date up in mate value rank. But she can still date hypergamously.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/06/26 08:04 AM
0	Men dating down Hypergamy theory needs better fine tuning. TRP was right to ask if there were any evolved psychological instincts behind the prevalence of classic 'income/status' hypergamy given that a lot of more modern factors didn't exist in the prime evolutionary period. But many in the manosphere got stupid about things and started asserting women date up in some holistic sense of human value--who can do that kind of math? Or that basic gender polarity (height, size, etc.) was hypergamy. Women do date up o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/06/26 03:45 AM
3	If Men Had Understood Hypergamy, Would They Have Supported Feminism? Without the 60s blank slatist delusions and general progressive utopianism, some form of feminism would still likely have happened. But the details would have been different. Harder questions would have been asked about how things are supposed to work given critical biological differences, even in psychology and behavior. There is definitely competitive pressure to exploit female human and intellectual capital given that with smaller families and better conveniences there isn't enough truly prod…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/06/26 10:29 AM
3	Some women are avoiding relationships because of social anxiety No. My point was that some women who don't like their available choices ARE also deluded about their own level in the mating hierarchy. Some are not. Enough people are required to mate. Ideally, the percentages are high enough on a fairly voluntary level without too much social enforcement that those who really don't want to can opt out with little social sanction. But enough people must mate and reproduce or your society fails.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/26 12:02 PM
5	Some women are avoiding relationships because of social anxiety No. I meant that I applaud your clear-eyed assessment of things. I just fear that you would not be a unique case: there may be many women and even men, who, is stripped of all delusions about their place in mating, would just opt out rather than accept their level.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/26 09:59 AM
1	Chivalry is a submissive act. Chivalry as we know it came into existence as part of a very different take on gender. It is somewhat performative submission in an overall environment where it was given that men were the more dominant gender overall.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/26 08:58 AM
14	Some women are avoiding relationships because of social anxiety This, I fear, would become the position of many women who do have deluded ideas about their own mate value and chances of landing certain guys. Many in the manosphere feel that if you can break those delusions, then middle and lower tier mate value women will just happily pair with what they can actually get. But I've always thought it was possible such women would just say 'OK. I am not better than the guys I'm rejecting. I can't do better, either. I still don't want them. So I'm out.'	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/26 08:56 AM
2	Red Pill men trust their self-motivated inccorrect observations of women more than women's own explanations. To the extent the better forms or TRP stick to the better forms of evo psych and bio, they are fairly accurate representations of how women behave statistically. What many TRPers get wrong is they translate the behavior patterns directly to women's perceived subjective experience during the process. They get that wrong a lot, and when women hear that, they call bullshit on the whole thing. But men and women alike often rationalize behavior rather than let their subjective, conscious thought proc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/26 01:44 PM
2	Hypothetical Women uprising? There are aspects of female nature that are in-line with redistributionist and equality-of-outcome values, yes. But there have been times when the average woman has been more conservative than the average man. I think female herd behavior trumps most other things. I don't buy your conservative/progressive characterization at all, but that's a whole other argument.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 03:34 PM
0	Hypothetical Women uprising? I think it is true that women do not naturally think systemically. Nor do they tend to put the needs of abstract things like society over their personal feelings. However, women are also more agreeable and prone to follow the predominant beliefs. So if you can get elite males and female thought leaders to agree that abstractions matter. That society matters. Etc., then you can get the average woman to buy in.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 02:26 PM
7	Question for lesbian and bi women: Why do women seem to have stricter standards for men than for women? I've always believed that, sexually, women assess men differently than women assess women, or men assess men. Seems like evolved biology as hetero sex for a woman is the most consequential form of sex. Whether one can say this means 'highest standards' is harder to say. But definitely differently, which is why comparing the gay male or lesbian SMPs to the hetero one should be done carefully IMO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 02:22 PM
–	Why should women care that men don't have partners? Reddit interface fail. Meant to reply more to Destinyciello. But I do think you are mischaracterizing the issue. It isn't an issue individual women should be changing their behavior to address. It's bigger picture. Mating issues are issues for both genders to address as citizens--looking at the culture and environment and seeing what changes might make the genders more interested in pairing up. So it isn't about asking individual women to sleep with guys they don't find desirable. Nor is it a th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 01:42 PM
–	Why should women care that men don't have partners? It is amazing how many women become closet biological essentialists on this stuff. The point is that 'hypergamy' and all things human have a nature and a nurture component. Maybe a lot of women only hear the worse forms of the argument, but the better form is that men and women together--as citizens of their societies--should be looking at the nurture side first to see if anything can be done to make men and women more attracted to one another. More desirous of forming stable, longterm partnersh…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 11:18 AM
-2	Does slut-shaming prevent women from having more active sex lives? Generally speaking, women seem more intent on mate switching than 'spinning plates', but there is a lot of individual variation. Just because certain things are fairly universal and have elements that serve social needs doesn't mean there aren't better ways to do things. Just important to do our best to understand why certain things do happen with open eyes before making changes. And while you never fully know the limits of biology, it is important never to have too much hubris about being able …	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 11:33 AM
5	Do you believe women should cater more to men/be less selective? Women are of course naturally more selective. But there is cultural and environmental mediation. On an individual level, we are all prisoners of biology and culture. Women shouldn't be with guys they aren't attracted to in the current environment. But women are citizens, too. Societies have to make it all work. Everyone suffers if it falls apart. So women do have a responsibility to help problem solve. Can any cultural and environmental changes be made that make the genders more attractive to on…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 08:24 AM
6	Does slut-shaming prevent women from having more active sex lives? Men and women differ biologically here a lot. But there is also cultural mediation. That said, slut shaming of some kind tends to show up in most if not all culture. It obviously has some adaptive functions. It can also get out of hand. Women do it to women at least as much as men do it. Theories include that women do it to other women to keep the bargaining price of female sexuality high. Men may do it out of paternal uncertainty. And of course there is the cross-gender function of helping to k…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 08:20 AM
2	Campaigns such as "Nuclear Family Month" are part of a broader effort to promote traditional gender and family roles. You are right that generally speaking these values that are not necessarily connected are bundled together--though any sexism or return to female gender roles is relatively mild, historically speaking. Doesn't make it right--or wrong--just adding context. But OP misses the point. There are eternal human problems that all societies address. The more traditional nuclear family was, for all its flaws, one approach at addressing these issues. Everyone do whatever you want and be whatever you like so…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/06/26 11:45 AM
1	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? 80% is just a figure pulled out of my ass to establish that there are gonna be some upper bounds to how many men could be sexually / romantically excluded. The genders socialize one another in various ways. I'm not saying that having a high pairing rate is a magic pill that will compensate for modern atomization, alienation and online living. Just that the pairing rate is an essential part of the package of a healthy culture working. I never know, when people object to the very concept of a mati…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 03:12 PM
1	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? I think people often have unexpressed prior assumptions on this to the effect that no matter what we do, whatever the threshold for unpaired males is, we would never test it. But can you really imagine society functioning if say 80% of men never touched a woman, much less paired with one? This is just to show that there must be some limit, whatever it is. There's an African proverb that too many unattached men will basically light he village on fire to feel the warmth. Women do have a taming and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 08:19 AM
1	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? Trad is dumb. Can't turn back the clock without somehow undoing the technological change, even if you wanted to. Total essentialism is as stupid as blank slatism. So yeah, truth is in the middle and when we lose the post-60s ideology maybe we will get better at finding it. Sure. If we can somehow craft an individualistic culture where the aggregate mating results meet society's needs, awesome. Based on history, I'm skeptical about how far one can go on this. But you never know. The point is unde…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 03:48 AM
1	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? I guess that depends on what trad path means. In the past, men didn't just get to do their thing. Elite men did, to a great degree. Yeah. At this point I don't think we can see any solution from here. We are coming out of 1960s bullshit where biology was deemed irrelevant. We need the best of women to think and contribute about this stuff when they are grounded in actual reality. Men too, though more men didn't get sucked into the Blank Slatism than women. The idea that the mating system can be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 03:17 AM
1	Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy) It's not clear OLD does much but push current trends a bit further. But in an online, digital world, does OLD really make that much of a difference?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 12:45 AM
1	Whether you like it or not, dressing revealingly or accentuating features of your sexual body parts would always garner attention to your physical appearance. True to some extent but by no means entirely. Male preferences filter into the rules of the female intrasexual competition game.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 12:02 AM
1	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? Well, we know our areas of disagreement. I don't think men in the west are currently nearly as bad at being partners as you say, much less biologically bound to be so--though biology is real. IMO whatever we say or think, reality will force high enough pairing rates and birthrates eventually. I see no evidence of some alternative social mating order that will work or compete with this. So it will be a matter of using culture to the extent possible to make that happen on fair terms. Maybe society…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 10:37 AM
-5	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? Most people of both genders don't think big picture. But more of those who do are male. And for them, it isn't primarily because they want to get laid more. Some hypergamy always makes sense and still allows the monogamy math to work. The ideal pairing rate is not gonna be 100%--in the NW European marriage pattern, something like 20-25% of women never married for hundreds of years. You could also have men work a bit harder to pair, but you don't want runaway male sexual competition, either. Nobo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 08:00 AM
-4	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? Wise people of both genders recognize that it has to all work out as a system in the end. I think more men than women qualify on this issue, but there are more non-wise than wise in both genders when it comes to this stuff. No society has let men or women just do whatever they want in mating and we can now see why. So how is this gonna all work? What is the effective but gender-fair solution?	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 05:48 AM
-4	Do men actually want children, or do they just follow the expected path? A bit off topic since this is more about individual attitudes. But the bigger picture is that more men than women seem to understand that there is a mating and family creation system that needs to work. A man may or may not want kids himself, but he seems more likely to get the fact that if everyone does that we are all fucked.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 05:12 AM
-1	Why should women obey average men? What is really desired from female leadership is to address the big picture honestly. Women's sexuality tends to look for men they can admire and even follow, though even then there is an internal tension and part of the woman tends to want to rebel at the same time. Men women have no desire to follow, conflicted or otherwise, they tend to have little admiration or sexual desire for. So make it all make sense. How do we get a sufficiently high hetero pairing rate? How do we get stable enough fam…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 04:55 AM
–	Women don’t choose their abusers Men let themselves get shit tested out of masculinity, which even if it was women's idea (bad idea), we are still responsible for having gone along with it. So modern women are desperate for men with masculine strength and a lot of the traits that can lead to abuse also can appear like this increasingly rare masculinity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 01:06 AM
1	Why do BluePill people give such generic and crappy dating advice? The problem is that all evidence suggests 60s blank slatism is bullshit. It was a reaction to too much weight being put on nature over nurture, but swung way too far the other way. We can fake it as long as we want, but we aren't gonna make it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 01:03 AM
0	"meet my standards", "not settling", "treat me the way i deserve" ect. All of these buzz phrases at the core is just hypergamy, I said he should distinguish between what might fall under hypergamy and dimorphism, such as height. I also don't think male innate preferences are innately more moral. I think part of the issue is that a great deal of our sexual morality is still nested in the assumption that in a healthy society there should be high heterosexual pairing rates. Stated preferences that--if they scaled--would make this math not math are seen as less moral in a fundamental way. Men have said they like hot women fo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/26 01:01 AM
1	Why do BluePill people give such generic and crappy dating advice? It's all downstream from 60s Social Constructionism and Blank Slatism. Basically, it is 'Fake it until you make it' on a societal level. The belief is that a society where this kind of advice and general think was effective and accurate would be a better one; and since culture and environment is everything, if we act like it is true, eventually the culture will change and make it true.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/26 11:12 PM
1	"meet my standards", "not settling", "treat me the way i deserve" ect. All of these buzz phrases at the core is just hypergamy, It's important to distinguish hypergamy (whatever one's definition) and gender polarity, like height, etc. I think one also needs to be careful about where the blame lies. The evolved female behavior that is behind hypergamy is also behind resistance to look at it squarely, to moralize it. Average women are never going to admit to doing or being something others around them consider 'bad'. They will obfuscate, manipulate, whatever they need to do. In the prime evolutionary period, this supposedl…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/26 10:57 PM
–	Detachment is the best approach to dating for men. I think it is a bad idea to over-aggregate the SMP as different dynamics tend to play out at different tiers of the SMP. In the upper half, most women are aiming at men that have roughly equal or greater sexual leverage than the woman does. These power dynamics many guys around here talk about don't really exist for them. In the lower part, yeah. The men and women are not as attracted to one another, especially in early stages. But men have lower desire threshold and higher libido, so there is a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/26 11:10 AM
1	Do you think women are partnering with men less because they are being influenced/brainwashed my feminism now. Or do you think the reason women overwhelmingly partnered with men in the past was because they were influenced/brainwashed by traditional culture? I think it's a common mistake to project modern psychology back to different times and places. It's much more complicated than that. Different environmental conditions and cultures can have a much bigger effect on how people even conceive these dynamics than we moderns tend to understand.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/05/26 10:46 PM
2	TRP was Never Going to Work for Most Men. An Ideology based on Potential Most Men Never had It's always a competition. But the quality of the prizes on both sides, and the difference in quality between prize levels also matter. I once read an anthropology commentary on some native American tribes monogamy dynamics. The gist of it was that the closer the men were in absolute value in terms of more universally attractive characteristics, the more idiosyncratic female preferences maximized. Whether a girl likes a more feminine face, a certain kinda humor, softness vs. toughness, etc. is l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/05/26 12:54 AM
1	Love and sex is so tied to individuals that you cannot debate it within a societal context This is all wrong and not how human societies work. Societies have certain needs from the mating market's aggregate results. These needs must be met. Period. This trumps all other considerations. Rights come from a functional society that can keep up with others. If you want to make absolute reproductive freedom your overriding principal you need to find a way to do that while having a high enough birthrate, stable enough families, not too many people opting out of family formation, etc. No soci…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 12:36 PM
–	Romance is dying because men and women know too much about each other. Another factor is lack of family and extended family. Back in the day you would learn other things about the opposite gender in different ways than you get from the Internet through exposure to male relatives. Ideally, this provides a more sympathetic lens for learning to understand the opposite sex.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 12:26 PM
–	Let's have the uncomfortable conversation It is going to come down to both genders essentially agreeing on some sort of economic value for pregnancy and early infant care, the uniquely gendered costs.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 12:19 PM
–	Let's have the uncomfortable conversation Women's groups are actively impeding making TFR decline the issue it could be because they feel that to even legitimize it as an issue is to imply women do not have absolute freedom to do as they choose with respect to reproduction, free of all coercion be it legal, economic, or social. They also feel there is limited political bandwidth and that women are still at crisis levels of oppression: women need full equality first, and anything that doesn't focus on that would undermine this struggle b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 12:17 PM
–	Let's have the uncomfortable conversation We don't really understand the full causal picture for fertility decline. Gender dynamics are no doubt part of it, but it is not clear exactly which dynamics have which levels of impact. There are also undoubtedly lots of non-gendered factors. I do believe that ever increasing evolutionary mismatch is making the chimps with consciousness crazy. But it is hard to definitively prove exactly how crazy, and how close this is to breaking the humans to the extent that it actually impedes them in the u…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 12:01 PM
1	TRP was Never Going to Work for Most Men. An Ideology based on Potential Most Men Never had I think we both see that there are some open questions on the interaction between relative ranking, absolute levels, and even gap from the leaders in absolute terms, etc. Also matters on how one rates vs. the females. All goes in the mix. And I agree that if everyone is improving, then it will be hard to go up in the hierarchy. But it never goes full Red Queen theory, either, even if your place in the rankings stays the same. I agree that people are free to value whatever levels of desire, absol…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 07:39 AM
1	TRP was Never Going to Work for Most Men. An Ideology based on Potential Most Men Never had Sorry if I was unclear. Of course, I completely agree with you that on an individual level, self-improvement can always help. I was making a broader contextual point about the value of relative ranking. I do think it always matters; I just think other things matter. Women don't just compare men against other men around them or that the women see in media. Women compare the men against the woman in question herself. Against historical ideals. Against who knows what in the nature and nurture baske…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/26 03:47 AM
4	Paper abortion means giving all remaining advantage to men without leaving any to women I disagree. The reasoning against paper abortions is precisely that so many people (men and women) do not feel abortion is simply an amoral medical procedure or one with no chance of psychological consequences. Thus, it is felt that a man having to help pay for a child he didn't plan or want is less objectionable than effectively forcing a woman to have an abortion she didn't want because she knows she cannot support the child alone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/26 12:15 PM
3	If you think there’s inherent moral injustice in you not getting sex or relationships then you are entitled This kinda misses the point IMO. Society absolutely can be set up in ways that impact one's chances of being loved and desired. It is legitimate to make critiques based on that. Do some people slide into raw entitlement? Sure. But that isn't the main argument.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/26 11:56 AM
16	TRP was Never Going to Work for Most Men. An Ideology based on Potential Most Men Never had One of TRP's biggest mistakes is exaggerating the importance of relative vs. absolute levels of various qualities. Relative rankings matter, but many TRPers would say crazy shit like if all men became twice as good looking or twice as competent and charismatic that it would have zero impact on dating. It would perfectly cancel itself out. But it's more complex than that. Relative rankings matter a lot, but so do absolute levels. Improvement matters. The question is not really whether you will in…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/26 11:54 AM
1	The attractive=asshole strawman that people here are starting to parrot meme needs to die I disagree with your patriarchy framing and argument, but I also don't think it matters much. Aggressive, dominant, High T, competitive, disagreeable. Those are qualities that women's lizard brain are drawn to as they correlate with strength in the ancestral environment. They also correlate with more bad behavior and being an asshole. These are not perfect correlations. But they are strong enough at the population level to provide the grain of truth needed for the 'women like assholes' meme to h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/26 02:47 AM
–	How would RP government change society? Nihilism is not an option. Nurture as well as nature is involved. You are presuming there are no ways to structure society such that its needs can be met which don't involve making women do what they don't want to do. But what people find attractive or want to do can change when conditions change.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/05/26 08:24 AM
1	The male/female sexlessness gap is the result of net biological differences playing out over a free sexual marketplace Seems plausible. Hard to know exactly what is happening on the ground right now, much less future trends. Data seems muddy. But it is worrying whichever way it breaks: gendered or non-gendered. Should be a lot more serious investigation just to establish the facts, but politics get in the way. Feminist and women's groups actively try to suppress discussion and keep it outside the Overton Window. I think they are making a mistake, but it isn't necessarily being done out of pure maliciousness. The…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/05/26 08:20 AM
–	How would RP government change society? Find a better way to get replacement population and the other needs of society met. Nobody wants to control anybody.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/05/26 03:29 AM
–	How would RP government change society? While there is no necessary correlation between TRP beliefs and individual freedom levels, I think the current political overlap is such that there would be a general desire to maximize everyone's freedom, particularly formal political and legal ones, so long as society's needs could be met. But there would be more of an understanding of the limits of liberal enlightenment thinking in addition to an appreciation of the benefits. However, I think initial attempts to right the ship would be with a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/05/26 01:55 AM
–	How would RP government change society? There is no real RP orthodoxy. It has morphed into a diverse manosphere when it comes to these types of prescriptive beliefs. What RP government would look like would depend on which group of Redpillers had power. If you take the core beliefs, which are fairly non-prescriptive, then the consensus facts upon which gender dynamics discussions are based on would swing the nature / nurture balance more towards nature. Genetics, evolutionary psychology and biology, and the like would have much more i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/05/26 01:05 AM
2	There's nothing morally wrong with the af/bb strategy. Stats are dangerous things. Not clear at all what advantages are caused by marriage and what are correlated with it. Do men get the same benefits from marriage if he we put all the cards on the table and everyone knows what's up? Or is the plan to maintain obfuscation?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 09:24 AM
1	The male/female sexlessness gap is the result of net biological differences playing out over a free sexual marketplace sexlessness is empirical; loneliness is a subjective response. I havent seen the data on sexlessness in older ages. I do think that the increase in sexlessness is gendered to a significant degree; just that dynamics around the age margins of studies may make it seem more gendered than it is. But still gendered and still bad even if not gendered.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 08:50 AM
2	The male/female sexlessness gap is the result of net biological differences playing out over a free sexual marketplace It paints a somewhat different picture. But yes, the ultimate question is the extent to which the decline in sexlessness is gendered. I expect that certain factors not accounted for in these studies will show that the gendered aspect is a little less significant but still very real. But the general cross-gender decline in in-person interaction and dating is the stronger trend overall. Either way, it isn't good.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 08:34 AM
2	The male/female sexlessness gap is the result of net biological differences playing out over a free sexual marketplace I'm not sure how you can insert the concept of casual or not into here. Seems hard to define and not sure any of the data supports making this kind of distinction. Couldn't it just be that younger women have shorter dry spells between relationships? So they are still in some ways sharing top guys, but more in relationships of X amount of months or whatever.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 03:55 AM
4	The male/female sexlessness gap is the result of net biological differences playing out over a free sexual marketplace Not sure if she is getting at this point, but it is possible that because women date older guys more often than the reverse, some of the discrepancy between the genders could be due to statistical dynamics happening around the 34 year old cap to the study. Women who are in the age range of the study having sex with guys who are not in the age range.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 03:49 AM
1	This is the reason why men the gatekeepers of relationship The gatekeeping concept is imperfect. It's trying to capture some dynamics, but in doing so may misrepresent others. If you take two attractive people who attracted to one another, and will eventually be so roughly equally, then the man is more likely to want sex earlier and less conditionally. However, the woman may want commitment sooner. This age old meme is still based in truth provided both are into one another and the gatekeeping concept wanted to recognize that. However, if one is looking…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 03:42 AM
4	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Men need to at least understand a fundamental tension at the heart of female sexuality: Strong and aggro enough to defend me and my babies, but will never use that power against me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:55 PM
2	The lower birth rate in places like Sweden is good. Psychologically unhealthy individuals shouldn't have children. I presume u dont want actual extinction, but I guess your environmental sensibilities posit the optimal human population as way, way lower than we have now?	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:50 PM
2	The lower birth rate in places like Sweden is good. Psychologically unhealthy individuals shouldn't have children. Yeah. But doesnt feel like at this point there is an overpopulation issue at all. Too much of a drop off is already baked in. So should aim for 2.1 for now and possibly overshoot. In a modern world, natural stabilizer dynamics are broken. So runaway over and under population are always dangers, but Baby Boom bubble is no longer a problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:48 PM
2	The lower birth rate in places like Sweden is good. Psychologically unhealthy individuals shouldn't have children. Sure. All valid questions. However, below 2.1 you are on track to extinction, however slowly. So in general, replacement rate at a minimum seems like a goal unless there is reason to believe you are temporarily overpopulated. If you set up conditions where that level of TFR happens more naturally to most you maximize the freedom of individuals who are innately more averse to mating and/or reproducing to opt out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:17 PM
1	This is the reason why men the gatekeepers of relationship I try to posit baseline biological tendencies before being more culturally specific. I probably worded it poorly. But I don't think women are necessarily innately less desirous of relationships per se. But they are innately more selective in general, which can manifest as less interested in relationships in many contexts. I think you may be overestimating conscious, willful decision factors over less conscious ones. Women with men good options among men they are attracted to tend to want a relat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:12 PM
-1	The lower birth rate in places like Sweden is good. Psychologically unhealthy individuals shouldn't have children. This is naive thinking. The OP is trying to find some nice way out of the eternal, often tragic bind that cultures are in when it comes to mating. Societies have needs. It's great if people who don't want kids don't have them--to a point! Your society needs a certain number of kids. Ideas about evolving people one way or another are off on their timelines. The society in question would die out before the needed evolution happened. It's no accident that for forever societies have worked so hard t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 06:23 PM
1	This is the reason why men the gatekeepers of relationship Point 2 is good. Point 1 isn't always true and yet even when it isn't women gatekeep sex to some extent. So more about male and female intrinsic natures driving market dynamics that the other way around.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 06:03 PM
2	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. It's possible that male sexual expectations in general, even beyond old age and viagra, are totally out of whack with female evolved nature. Men are thinking that 'normal' is for average dude to have mutually enthusiastic sex regularly from HS to 70.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 10:03 AM
2	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. Yeah. I remember women complaining when Viagra was invented that it messed up the natural order of things and long term marriages. They wanted to be post sexual by a certain age.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 09:45 AM
1	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. Yeah, will be different but related dynamics for women giving and receiving oral.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 09:33 AM
1	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. I agree. Maybe other things also fit in here. About that naturally higher female disgust sensitivity and how arousal dampens and inverts it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 09:12 AM
1	Question for men: if you were a woman, would you genuinely be attracted to a man who gets zero attention from women? The vocab is not needless. But sure, if a woman got zero attention from men, even a man's lower threshold for raw desire might not be low enough to be attracted. The person might innately be very unattractive. But the key point is that all these conscious decision factors the OP is listing are bullshit designed to make the choice more morally justified or not in her mind.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:57 AM
5	Question for men: if you were a woman, would you genuinely be attracted to a man who gets zero attention from women? This is quite enlightened. A lot of women dont see it that way and will filter off first encounter sex.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:49 AM
0	Question for men: if you were a woman, would you genuinely be attracted to a man who gets zero attention from women? Not really how it works. It's about the extent to which these factors evolved into a woman's innate selectivity levels. Then there are cultural and environmental factors that kick in and are hard to determine. But little of this is some fully personal, conscious decision. Plus, while often exaggerated, types are real. Is he my type? In theory, there is some underlying objective 'desirability' or attractiveness level for a guy (or girl). But in practice we cannot really directly access that infor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 08:40 AM
3	Men have standards just as high as women do. And thinking otherwise is even misandrist Nothing is perfectly equal. Men have higher standards for commitment than casual, but that doesn't mean men are ever as selective as women overall. In gender studies, standards usually refers to how selective one is. You can't just throw everything you want under the label 'standards'.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 04:47 AM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 This is like trying to filter for virgins. In 2026, you will end up selecting for a lot of other things you might not want. Low libido. Sexual desperation with few options. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 12:10 AM
6	Men’s dating prospects reduce strongly after 30 with young women This is largely true, though subject to some variance depending on prevailing conditions. But there are also gendered difference on sexual attractiveness and ageing. But a lot of guys push this way too far.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 09:26 PM
3	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. The desire for more extreme sex, in whatever dimension, seems to be present in both genders, as does the desire not to get that extreme. Of course, like all things, it probably is not equal. But I have no real take on which gender wants what more and wants what less. I'm happy that I'm not 18 and dating anymore lol Seems like a mess.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 02:40 PM
5	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. Yeah, that is exactly the issue that I think this post was motivated by, which is a whole different thing. That said, I do think current trends have made the idea of 'sexual compatibility' more of a thing. I used to think it was greatly overrated as a concept, but these days, it seems more valid. People are on different levels of the hedonic treadmill, sexually, And if you want more novelty and stimulation and intensity than someone else, it probably can create real incompatibility. I was thrown…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 01:57 PM
1	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. would you say women in berlin are judging the man based on his performance, including ability to be non-vanilla and not bore her? Are they setting the same expectations for themselves, or is it up to the guy to make it fun?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 01:35 PM
3	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. I dunno if that really indicates 50%+ of the population considers choking to be an essential part of the sex they desire. Regardless, the % who do feel that way does seem to be increasing daily. Porn is cancer and bad. But unclear how much of all this is really the result of porn. We are on the hedonic treadmill. People are trying to maximize sensations and porn is part of it, but by no means all. Porn tends to amplify existing trends and desires as much as create them out of nothing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 01:27 PM
2	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. Yep. But I think what I listed is still what most men want. However, it is a moving target,. Desire for anal is up. Desire for rougher sex is up, particularly different forms of choking, etc. A lot more of this is coming from women than many would have thought, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 12:46 PM
7	If you don't disclose what you want sexually before commitment, you have no one to blame but yourself if the woman doesn't like it. I don't really follow where this comes from. Honestly, most guys are pretty happy with the modern day vanilla sexual menu: manual, oral, vaginal. What they want is enthusiasm and to feel that they are desired sexually, and that she didn't desire past lovers a lot more.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 12:12 PM
0	If red flags are so easy to spot, then there's no need for prenups and paternity tests Use your eyes. This isn't some compliment to men. It's that men's overwhelming focus on youthful beauty is mostly orthogonal to psychological qualities. The psychological traits women find attractive in men are not. Often, they can also be related to good behavior. But they are also correlated with very bad behavior. High T, dominance, aggressiveness, etc. can be correlated to very good and very bad behaviors.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 12:08 PM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 That alone wouldn't change my opinion of either. Women lash out when they are hurt and aim to cause as much pain as possible, truth be damned. So I would have zero idea if what she was saying were true. But this is not really abnormal female behavior. Not like angry men don't get up to some shit, too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 11:17 AM
2	If red flags are so easy to spot, then there's no need for prenups and paternity tests I think most of the 'choose better' bullshit is indeed reductionist bullshit. That said, the OP misses the key point. There are more innate correlations between male traits that create raw desire in women and the qualities that also lead to the kind of bad behavior we are talking about. This is less true when it comes to men choosing women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 11:12 AM
–	Any dating problem attributable to a lack of bravery must be blamed on the person showing cowardice, not anyone else Women are not going to be the initiating sex for many good reasons. That said, men are not really supposed to be initiating with strangers in situations with no plausible deniability. This is all relatively new. Both genders evolved to take clear sexual rejection very badly because of what such a thing would have meant in the era we were evolved for. Mass training men to overcome rejection fears is more likely to be a kind of mass training in sociopathy than in real courage. It's not about feeli…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 11:08 AM
3	This is the reason why men the gatekeepers of relationship The gatekeeper narratives are fundamentally flawed in that they treat the whole sexual marketplace the same way. In fact, dynamics can be very different at the top, middle and bottom. It's still fair to say, very generally, that women are the gatekeepers of sex--so long as one understands that the actual reality is more complicated. I'm not sure you can call either gender the gatekeepers of relationships. That can vary greatly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 10:25 AM
4	What do you want to be valued for? I'm just going to skip ahead and get to the underlying issue. In 2026, men don't want to ever feel like their woman does not have enough desire for them that sex and sexuality with him feels like a burden. I think most reasonable men can understand that he may not be the hottest thing ever in her eyes; if he is honest with himself, same is true of how he feels about her. But modern men worry that a lot of women are over-settling on desire. They worry that women are not only more desirous of othe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 10:21 AM
–	Women supporting Isabel Rose proves that feminism is a cult and doesn't care about justice I have issues with feminism, though that more has to do with the 60s ideological craziness it has become so entwined with. But I actually agree with you that we could find 30 horrible quotes about women from prominent men very easily.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 10:13 AM
5	The wall isn't real. It's a psyop that benefits mediocre men. I get what the OP is saying, but it is more describing mistakes applying the Wall dynamic than the dynamic itself. The Wall is real. It's based on men being more concerned than women are about youthfulness, as well as certain innate differences in how the genders tend to age. The Wall describes the steeper fall off in raw female physical attractiveness as they age. That's all it is. As the OP rightly points out, the impact of this dynamic is not set in stone. It depends on the culture and enviro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 10:04 AM
2	Your “archetype” aka what category you fall into upon first glance is the most important thing for attraction, for both genders. Men still weight appearance more heavily relative to other criteria than women do. But since it isn't strictly an apples to oranges comparison--s each gender evaluates in a different manner--there are ways in which you can still ask which gender cares more about looks. That said, this does rebut the OP's assertion. This kind of narrative creation is much important for women. A woman's youth and beauty are still the most important thing for generating a man's attraction.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/05/26 02:49 AM
–	The proxy for wealth. Penalty was indeed a poor choice of words due to the connotations. Didn't mean it that way. The key thing is that in more competitive fields, working say 80% of the total hours from 21 to 65 can often result in losing more than 20% of potential earnings. I don't really see any of this through a moral lens. It would be nice if we could easily manipulate this kind of dynamic to facilitate better mating system results, but gotta be careful of hubris. The economy is a giant magical black box, and wh…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/05/26 12:19 AM
2	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Yeah. As in so many debates here, there is an unsettled empirical question at the bottom of things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 08:10 PM
7	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Arousal changes disgust sensitivity. I have evidence from conversations with women that this can and does happen. Enjoyed anal or swallowing or facials with a guy she was super turned on by, and not by guys who arouse her less. But I am skeptical it happens often enough at a population level for guys to be spending CPU cycles worrying about.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:38 PM
1	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Arousal levels dampen and even invert disgust levels. There are sex acts like anal or swallowing semen that can be desired when really turned on by a guy, and not when arousal levels are lower. So the scenario posited is possible and no doubt happens. Often enough to spend time thinking about? Dunno.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:36 PM
2	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Cool. That is a solid argument. Just understand that the common male argument is a whole different thing: that she enjoyed it with past guys and didnt with him. And that does happen because arousal level dampens disgust level. How often it happens is one of the questions being debated.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 06:43 PM
3	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Yes. But one question is whether this happens often enough to be worth thinking much about. Maybe these men have taken a few isolated examples and made them into a trend that doesn't exist. That is a good argument. If it did happen to a guy, saying he shouldn't be concerned would be a bad argument.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 06:06 PM
3	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? Not gonna open up the argument about the orgasm gap. But as to the sex acts argument, sure. The right way to argue this is that it is a red herring and happens so rarely that it isn't worth thinking about. Not to argue that IF it did happen, a man shouldn't be worried or upset.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 05:24 PM
4	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? It's possible that the whole meme of her truly enjoying something with Chad when she was 23 that she doesn't want to do with her husband at 32 happens so rarely that it isn't a thing. That is a fair argument. But not understanding why it would upset a man if it did happen is indeed obtuse.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 05:05 PM
7	Why do you ask your Partner to do Sex Acts she Does not Like? This is a strawman. Men are upset if they find out their woman ENTHUSIASTICALLY did certain acts with other guys that she does not want to do with him. It has nothing to do with the act--the man may not even like the activity in question. It's about men who are confused as to what their expectations in general should be about female selectivity and desire, and thus who see a situation like this as a clue that their mate was much more attracted to past partners sexually than they are to him.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 04:39 PM
1	Bad men should be unselected. This Responsibility Falls Mostly on Women. The Freedom of Sexual Selectors and Responsibility. Successful mating and reproduction is an incentive to both genders, but especially to men. Ideally, these incentives become somewhat aligned with prosocial behavior. But how that happens is tricky and not as simple as asking individual women in an increasingly unregulated mating market to just choose better. Not really how humans work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 03:54 PM
19	The proxy for wealth. Women are not paid less than men. The systems disproportionately penalizes anyone who takes time off or wants flexibility in work hours. This penalty tends to accrue more to mothers. The rest of the podcast is crazy levels of fuzzy thinking and unexamined premises. OK. So women should date up or at least equally in money? To what extent? If men are underperforming women now, in education and work, why? Why has that happened? And it isn't just about marriage. A SMP where women pair off with a muc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 03:51 PM
5	Women’s mating strategy (Hard to get) ruining our societal civilization, thus women need to change their tactic from Hard to get to Fair to get The relationship between gender, dating market dynamics, and TFR is not clear. I don't think I subscribe to the OP's reductionist summary of prehistoric mating, but he is right that all evidence supports the need for a sufficiently high and stable heterosexual pairing rate. However, what the required rate is given modern technology is hard to say. However, this is a complicated puzzle. You can't just say that women need to change their standards. A huge open question is whether, assuming female …	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 01:24 PM
17	The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up. Well, men with high mate value and a lot of options, who have had a lot of success dating and are now very confident and comfortable with the game, do often start to like some chase. They are on the hedonic treadmill a bit and bored with normal. They start to like things that spice things up, increase challenge, whatever. Something to get the dopamine going. And these are the men that maybe a lot of women calibrate their own games to.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 08:33 AM
0	There are some who claim the pills are not political but that seems ignorant at least. I can accurately describe various viewpoints, and have steelmanned their arguments at various points. In the end this basically comes down to getting past the extremes of 60s social constructionism and progressive utopianism on various fronts, including gender and mating. And yes, these ideologies were originally a response to inaccurate beliefs that went too far in the other direction. I think the West is coming out of a leftist ideological fog on many of these issues. Naturally, the pendulum h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 04:45 PM
1	How and when does a woman create a "type"? My theory based on various things I have read is that the objective difference between men in universally attractive traits is important. The greater the absolute difference, the less impactful the types mechanic at a population level, statistically. Conversely, take say some hunter gatherer tribe as an example. The formal status hierarchy is flat. All the men are fit and lean and masculine. There is polarity with all the women. And genetically the men are not that different. In such an environm…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 01:34 PM
–	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? No doubt technology might change the unpaired male threshold. I dont follow how family planning innovations and work being less physical impacts it, however. Too many unpaired men start to cause big problems in various ways, not really some incel revolution stuff. At any rate, the point is to just be concerned about mating issues and looking for solutions. Can't plan out how it all goes from where we are at now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 12:17 AM
1	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I am just analyzing the reality of the situation. These are basic truths of how civilization works since forever, and even with modern technology, they still seem to apply. Nothing anyone says today can bind future generations, so we can only estimate and predict. This is not a threat or fear mongering. Yes, in NW European marriage pattern of the past few hundred years, maybe ~20-25% of women went unmarried. The ideal pairing rate is not 100%. A certain percentage of unpairable men is natural an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/26 11:28 PM
1	How and when does a woman create a "type"? A more pronounced female types dynamic as compared to men has been shown in research. The power of this dynamic relative to more universal attraction triggers is debatable. Why and how types develop is not clear. I think the impact of female types is greatly exaggerated by many as compared to generally desired traits, at least at a statistical level. But some argue that modern dating is all about women who cannot land more universally attractive guys, and who don't find most guys at their level …	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/26 05:38 PM
7	CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one. Well, I think average sexual women can have significant desire for a significant number of men. Even redpill and blackpill say that. There is just an argument about the percentages.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/26 04:18 PM
6	CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one. Maybe there is no functional difference between an asexual woman and a normal one who is paired with a mate she has no attraction to. But are you doubting that heterosexual women can have any lust or attraction to ANY men at all?	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/26 04:13 PM
1	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I don't see any of this as changing the immutable fact that as much as us moderns want to see dating and mating and reproducing as entirely individual decisions, the overall society still has needs. I'm all for finding the way that meets those needs which also gives us the most individual freedom. But the needs remain and must be met. And sure, if we end up somehow conceiving of sex and mating and family in some entirely new way, maybe all the questions themselves could be different. I see littl…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 09:02 PM
2	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? There's gonna be some limit. People just seem to have the unexpressed priors that whatever the limit is, it will never be reached.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 07:11 PM
3	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? If the issue is simply that men are not trying enough, or are doing the wrong things, that would be great. Conceptually, that is an easy fix.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 03:18 PM
2	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I'm saying that reality is a bitch. I have no idea what the thresholds are. But there will be limits. To choose an extreme example, there is no timeline where say 50% of men never touch a woman and the the fertility rate is 1.0 and society is OK--including for women. But I am also not so pessimistic about male and female natures that I believe there is no non-nightmare solution for this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 03:16 PM
-1	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? Taking all morality out of it, OK. If you can make that work. But I doubt you can. It's not just about violent incels or whatnot. Peasant rebellions always fail. There will likely never be an incel revolution per se. But elite factions battling for power as they always do, will co-opt the energy of marginalized young men. Society can swing one way or another--usually in a bad way--because of this. The NW European marriage pattern has had like 20-25% of women never marry for 100s of years. The id…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 03:01 PM
3	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? It's tricky. Maybe those are also deadbedrooms that men should never put up with according to a lot of manosphere guys. Male sexual expectations may not be realistic at scale.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:44 PM
0	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? Extreme evolutionary mismatch in all its dimensions is the primary threat. But that doesn't mean we need to return to prehistoric conditions to survive it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:40 PM
0	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? On an individual level, nihilism is always an option	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:33 PM
1	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? 'owe' doesnt even make sense at the fundamental level. There are only actions and consequences. If you dont get mating and reproduction right, your society collapses and everyone in it dies, gets enslaved, has to go elsewhere (to face the same issues), etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:28 PM
-2	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I think history suggests the opposite. That at some point too many unpaired men with bad prospects just start to burn everything down. Whether modern tech somehow changes this is an open question. There are various ideas like the 'male sedation hypothesis' that suggests porn, weed and video games are currently making sexually marginalized men less overtly disruptive than would otherwise be the case. Instead, their threat to society is slower: decay over time. Less motivation and productivity. Ho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:24 PM
3	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I'm not so sure it is necessarily that grim in terms of what a functional mating paradigm would look like with high pairing rates. There may be more 'room in the joints' in terms of evolutionary programming than many think. More fundamentally, it could be that our entire conception of sexuality is so out-of-whack that of course there is no win-win solution for both genders under that paradigm. However, there may be whole other ways to conceptualize things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:20 PM
3	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? Could be. Depends what the threshold for sufficient desire is. I think that female selectivity is perhaps misunderstood. There is a strong evolved psychology/biology component. But behavioral ecology and culture matter as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:18 PM
-4	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? Not necessarily. I'm saying that too many unpaired men have always been an existential threat to a society. I'm saying that at some population level you need a replacement birthrate. I'm saying that as much as mating and reproduction are very personal things, society also has needs from the aggregate results. How we want to deal with these fundamental truths in a 2026 context is an open question. The point is that thinking that everyone should just make their individual choices, with little cult…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:16 PM
16	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I think sometimes men hold some contradictory thoughts in their heads. They say women are innately more selective (true). They say that society needs a certain minimum hetero pairing rate (true). But then they say that all pairing should feature 'true burning desire' on the part of the woman for the man. Unclear if that maths with the first two propositions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 01:43 PM
-8	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? That's not exactly true. At the most fundamental levels, 'rights' are a construct of a society willing and able to provide them. Beneath that are just actions and consequences. Too many sexually marginalized men have historically been disastrous for a society. OFC how that dynamic plays out with 2026 tech is hard to say, but it would be silly to dismiss the threat based on hope that technology has made it all different. That said, how you deal with the issue is an open question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 01:39 PM
0	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I was talking about it from the male side. What women select for is complicated.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 01:19 PM
13	Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid? I'll put this under automod because I don't want to derail a classic gotcha post. But men do themselves no favors framing this as 'need for sex' or 'need to get laid'. I don't care about the semantics of need vs. want; and the sex itself is important. But academics measure sexlessness primarily because sex is the gateway and defining feature of a romantic and intimate relationship, and sexual activity is more conducive to measurement. It's never really been about sex.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 01:13 PM
1	Q4W: Is attraction fixed, or does it adapt to what’s available? I don't think we can ever fully parse nature and nurture here. But clearly there is a strong adaptive component. However, it may not be adapting to 'what is available', nor is the timeline necessarily quick. We are in extreme evolutionary mismatch with modern technology and everyone is slowly going crazy. So it's hard to say how adaptation works when we are bombarded by digital images of perfect people. And as in all things, there may be significant gender differences on this, but individual var…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 06:56 AM
1	Red pill isn't as manipulative as I thought There's interesting discussions to be had on the female Types dynamic. I think it can be over and underestimated.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 03:49 AM
15	Red pill isn't as manipulative as I thought I think one has to take a next step. 80/20 may be inaccurate in many ways, but it it is pointing at something real: a difference between the attraction curves of men and women. Exactly what the truth is is hard to say, but clearly female attraction to males is distributed differently than male attraction to females.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/26 02:02 AM
2	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 To some extent, sex can be like water to a young man. You feel you must have it and if you don't have enough, it is all you can think about it. But once you have a sufficient and regular supply, it doesn't need to be the focus of life. Other things occupy your thoughts more. I think right now men are legitimately concerned about female desire levels. They don't know what to think. The idea that maybe their partner is faking a lot of things, or worse, wishing you were some other dude, is humiliat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 12:52 PM
1	Hypothetical choice of daily visitor: You can only pick one. 'Forced' is just a figure of speech, signifying that both options suck. As for sexually marginalized men, or lonely men, or whatever, this is a long-running topic around here. So I'm just skipping to the end. I don't know if sex is a need or a want. I don't know if greater sexual inclusion of males solves male loneliness, but it would probably help. I don't know what problems qualify as valid or not. I'm saying it is a Civilization 101 Truth known since the Dawn of Time that too many sexually ex…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 12:19 PM
2	The Same Romantic Approach Is Judged Differently Depending on Attraction Women were never designed to be cold approached by strangers looking for sexual relationships. I don't think cold approaches should be a major part of anyone's repertoire. So I guess men need to learn to make social circles. Create warm approach situations. Learn how to initiate but in steps. Learn to look for signs of reciprocation. Honestly, I'm skeptical about how big a factor a supposed loss of male initiative and social skills are. I think a lot of young guys don't get the same indicators o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 08:13 AM
1	Hypothetical choice of daily visitor: You can only pick one. I would take B if forced. But it misses the point. There is no timeline where a sufficiently large number of sexually excluded men are not going to be miserable and then eventually make society miserable. Maybe this will become unavoidable and society will have to figure out some way to deal with marginalized men. But it will never not be a problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 03:34 AM
2	I want to ask an unusual question to you straight men It's a continuum. It's hard to establish a cut off for attractive vs. non attractive. I think my curve in terms of this is a bit more similar to my curve for rating women than it is to how women seem to rate men. That said, as some analysts have pointed out, who says that male beauty is distributed the same way as female beauty? Or that women aren't objectively more beautiful than men? Even on a theoretical level, you can posit some underlying objective reality for beauty here. But from another …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 03:31 AM
9	Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating pool I think the impact of whether men are asking women out is overrated. There may be some impact, but I suspect the real issue is the guys are not getting the same indicators of interest they might have years ago. Women do not seem to be that attracted to that many men right now. We should figure out why and if this can be improved before essentially asking women to pair off with 'good' men the women do not find sufficiently desirable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 03:22 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Yes. There is some danger. There is always danger from men. There is nothing any of us can do or say or promise that would ever bind future generations. Women evolved to keep some truths among women and to be manipulative of men for several reasons, but one of them was to manage male behavior including violence. It's also possible that we need noble lies of sorts, and that neither gender can or should be made to handle the unvarnished truth of the other gender's sexuality. But we are where we ar…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:56 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I don't think women at large can manipulate men at large, even if justified, in an internet age. Men can read what women say to one another. You can't control the information flow. So might as well go with honesty and candor and see what happens. Men are increasingly imagining things that might be worse than whatever the real truth is. So I do think it is an important distinction. People shouldnt be too open or honest about sexual preferences in person because humans cant handle that, men and wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:42 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I have no idea whether you mean express preferences openly in person, or for women at large to be more candid about women's general preferences. The first one shouldn't be done. The second one should.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:37 PM
3	The Same Romantic Approach Is Judged Differently Depending on Attraction Yeah, the answer is not to get men cold approaching women out of their league and learning to feel nothing from the rejection. This is mass training in sociopathy. It's like when you are friendzoned, the solution is to walk away gracefully with some plausible deniability all around. Not to take your shot and create a nuclear blast site. You fucking know you had no shot. Accept that rather than make everyone miserable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:34 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I thought that was pretty plain. Your posts about this make me feel that you believe that in a totally free mating market with say zero need for a man in one's life, something like 80% of men would never be touched by a woman.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:25 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 At this point it feels like you have some belief about women's real preferences that would make a Blackpill Incel blush.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:21 PM
6	The Same Romantic Approach Is Judged Differently Depending on Attraction I think many women would argue it is about reading the fucking room. If you flirt with me when you should know you have no chance, have had no indications of interest, then obviously I will react poorly. So no you have an innate repulsion response that everyone gets when someone they find unattractive exhibits their sexuality. But you also have the issue of why this motherfucker would do that when he should know better? Is he crazy? Dangerous? Even if not, how awkward is this no EQ bastard gonna…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 08:17 PM
5	Feminists expect male "allies", but have no interest in solving male-specific issues or even recognizing them Im sure there is some deeper evolutionary stuff going on. But what feminist leaders have told men's rights leaders explicitly is that the feminists feel that political bandwidth is limited. Focusing on male issues cannot but take resources away from female. And women need the help more still.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 06:10 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 You are gay. Enjoy dating on easy mode.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 04:45 PM
–	Women, what are your dating issues? Women have the same essential struggle men do: finding someone they desire sexually and who will also make a good partner.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 04:25 PM
–	Women Do Not Have “Dating Issues.” Only Men do. For some reason Pretending its anywhere Equal Need to re-examine your priors. Women complain about having as hard a time as men finding what they want. So it always circles back to how innately selective women are, and whether something is being done to inflate that selectivity needlessly. But what if female selectivity has been repressed since forever? What if it is not natural for lower mate value women to find their male equivalents sufficiently desirable to want to pair? What if playing the sleep-with-Chad hoping to get lucky or just op…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 02:51 PM
0	Marriage rates declining is a good thing Societies have needs. Replacement population. Stable families. Well-raised children. Not having too many sexually excluded men fucking shit up. And so on. To the extent those innate society-level needs can be met while catering to everyone's individual happiness, great. If marriage is going down because we are finding a better way to meet society's needs while reducing individual misery, then awesome. But this does not appear to be the case. Virtually all societies have strongly incentivized and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 12:16 PM
–	Female teacher sexually assaulting male student is played for laughs on SNL OP is missing the real point. Yes, it is important to point out inconsistencies in modern gender rhetoric. But the real point is that it this idea of perfect gender symmetry that is insane. Situations like this point out what everyone knows: A male teacher sleeping with a female student is worse than the reverse. Doesn't mean either are OK; but they are not the same thing, either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 10:38 AM
1	Do women have safe space to have "honest conversations" about attraction? Many men want women to be more honest at the personal level, such as being more clear why they rejected a guy, etc. This is super autistic and not how humans work. Beyond social awkwardness, there can be real danger. So by the 'academic level' I met not in these situations. But at that level, sure, no guarantees. Still, men have started imagining the worst--probably worse than whatever disturbing truths women feel they are guarding. So might as well come clean and see where that leaves us all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 10:27 AM
3	Do women have safe space to have "honest conversations" about attraction? No. There can be no 'safe space' from the other gender's possible reactions at this level of discussion. But manipulating men about female sexuality isn't working that well anymore, anyways. Honesty, at least at the more academic level, seems like the best policy for everyone at this point.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 07:34 PM
2	Feminists expect male "allies", but have no interest in solving male-specific issues or even recognizing them That's the opposite of what is actually happening. Population is set to crater.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 03:57 PM
0	Feminists expect male "allies", but have no interest in solving male-specific issues or even recognizing them There's no perfect formula for any of this. Whether we are currently overpopulated is up for debate, but it will start declining fast. And whatever population level one thinks is right-sized, you need those 2.1 kids again. Of course humans can walk and chew gum at the same time: nothing is preventing us from working on other issues as well. But a functional mating and child creation system is fundamental.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 03:01 PM
0	Feminists expect male "allies", but have no interest in solving male-specific issues or even recognizing them Yeah. I'm not prejudging anything. There are a lot of open questions. I think at this point male loneliness is more tangential. We need to focus on Civilization 101 things like sustainable population and a functional mating system. None of this requires anything silly like a 100% hetero pairing rate or anything like that. Unpaired male rates can certainly rise without threatening existential harm; but there is gonna be a threshold somewhere.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 02:43 PM
-4	Feminists expect male "allies", but have no interest in solving male-specific issues or even recognizing them Women, as citizens, are obliged to start thinking about these things within the context of how to make it all work. That's the only sin here: Thinking it's OK if there are too many unpaired males or not enough children so long everyone's individual rights are respected. These are personal choices and society just has to figure out how to deal with the aggregate results. Sadly, it is not that simple. Society has needs. Ideally we find ways to meet those needs in as fair a way as possible while re…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 02:09 PM
2	Men and Women Often Fear Opposite Forms of Rejection I think there is little chance of that. Nurture matters, but nature is always a thing. There are limits. My hope in the future is that we are able to better admit those gendered expectations we cannot or don't want to eliminate, and then try to balance gender roles, duties and privileges around that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 12:02 PM
3	Men and Women Often Fear Opposite Forms of Rejection Timing be everything. Humans have always been sui generis as a species. And now we are really in uncharted mating territory. Hopefully, a more facts-based common narrative on gender can help us find better ways to do things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/26 08:06 PM
5	Men and Women Often Fear Opposite Forms of Rejection You aren't allowed to be that blatant about sexual and appearance related stuff for many reasons that go beyond this topic. Plus, you can pretty much see all of that with your eyes. Relationships are fundamentally transactional. BUT that doesn't mean love isn't real. It is more like the transaction is the greenhouse and love is the flower. The flower thrives under good conditions. It will survive and thrive again if conditions go through some rough patches but recover. But if you fuck up the gre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/26 05:23 PM
2	Both men and women choose to be single, anyone could be in a relationship, it just won’t necessarily be with someone you want or desire This is why, ignoring all the bullshit, the real ask from modern men is female candor and honesty about gender and mating issues. Not in person, to an individual. That is autistic. But at the higher, more theoretical levels. Men today want to be with women who want to be with the men. The issue is that modern men are unsure about the overall context: what are the broader patterns in female desire for males? Yes, you need to deal with the individual in front of you. However, you also need an over…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/26 11:21 AM
5	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Because Reddit AI mods would nuke the sub from orbit.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/26 09:33 AM
3	Men aging like fine wine is mostly a myth The genders do not age the same way when it comes to sexual market value and even raw attractiveness. But people exaggerate both the female 'Wall' and men ageing like fine wine. And yes, the gendered pattern is a general thing and many exceptions exist.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/26 09:02 PM
1	A case against hypergamy That is a different claim than a discussion of what hypergamy is. As to that claim in particular, I wouldn't say it is male preference or female preference, but both operating in an increasingly unregulated sexual marketplace, with declining economic need for a partner, in an environment of ever increasing and ever deranging technology-induced evolutionary mismatch. We all crazy on many fronts, so I try to remember that expecting gender relations to be sane in such a world doesn't make much sens…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/26 12:44 AM
1	A case against hypergamy Hypergamy is clearly pointing at something real that is supported at the genetic level. Perhaps there could be a better term. Perhaps the theory could be refined and better articulated. Nevertheless, it only takes eyes to see it's not all delusion nor is it all cultural. Time used debunking this or that definition would be better spent trying to articulate a better definition for what hypergamy theory is pointing at.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/26 12:33 AM
6	Women will inevitably change after kids, if you can't understand this just don't have kids Or maybe she is saying that for most women, raw desire for the man is sorta borderline and ephemeral. It takes serious raw attraction for some of it to remain during this period. I dunno. Guessing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 11:31 AM
0	Where does this myth that men age like fine wine come from? The genders age differently in general. Refusal to acknowledge the basic truths leads to people exaggerating. There is a Wall for women that is different than for men. But no, Men do not keep getting better and better looking.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 08:10 AM
30	Women will inevitably change after kids, if you can't understand this just don't have kids I don't really get the 'top 0.1%' man part. Seems rage baitey.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 08:06 AM
-1	Women need to influence other women to adapt to a male centric love system instead of following a female one to make society better Well, I've never seen you put forward some way of discussing the SMP from a macro level. So I have no idea how you want it discussed. The academic economic modeling of the SMP is not some male-created fantasy of how things work. Women participate as well. Mate value for a man is based on what women want, whatever that is specifically doesn't matter. Women decide male mate value and mate value rank. Models absolutely take into account women's 'types' dynamics as well. Nihilism is not being big pi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 09:27 PM
-1	Women need to influence other women to adapt to a male centric love system instead of following a female one to make society better So effectively you have said there is no way to discuss the 'big picture', which means there is no big picture. Just individuals doing what works for them, and then society making do with however those individual decisions work out. You have provided zero framework for even having an intelligible conversation on this. You are basically saying THAT is the point: the only intelligible conversation to be had is to leave women alone to make their choices, and focus on your own life. That seems wise,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 09:12 PM
–	The "she did it with her ex but won't with me" situation is typically valid for a man to be concerned about. If nothing causes most men to doubt that you are reasonably desirous of them, enjoy and want sex with them, and didn't find past partners so much hotter that sex was categorically a different thing, they will be good. I think most people in 2026 understand that they are not strictly the best looking thing, biggest dick, most charismatic, whatever, that their partner has ever had. The odds are not good. They just don't wanna feel the difference matters.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 09:08 PM
–	The "she did it with her ex but won't with me" situation is typically valid for a man to be concerned about. Cool. If any woman discovered that about her man it would be understandable to be upset as well. And who knows, maybe men and women can get closer to the truth. Maybe youth matters. Maybe men do more romantic stuff when younger and women's desire can peak higher and disgust levels lower. Or novelty matters. She was blowing him when they first dated and he was buying her flowers. But now neither happens. Raw desire is down on all sides. OK. We getting real now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:58 PM
–	The "she did it with her ex but won't with me" situation is typically valid for a man to be concerned about. The analogy being what? That women worry if men actually care about and respect them, and aren't just there because of sex and because it seems easy or convenient? OK. But what is the analogous issue that makes a woman wonder if her guy loved a past lover more?	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:45 PM
–	The "she did it with her ex but won't with me" situation is typically valid for a man to be concerned about. Because men aren't sure if she is also lying to herself.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:43 PM
–	The "she did it with her ex but won't with me" situation is typically valid for a man to be concerned about. Yeah. The issue is that men don't know what to think and are currently mistrustful of a lot of female answers, possibly with reason. It isn't about bodily autonomy. It's about whether he is being Beta Buxxed and to what extent.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:15 PM
1	Women don't owe men kinky sex acts You are missing the point. The point is that to him, this signaled that she found another guy a lot more desire inciting. That's it. Not that she isnt free to decide what she wants to do or not. Or even that he cares much about the sex act.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:10 PM
0	Women need to influence other women to adapt to a male centric love system instead of following a female one to make society better I use economic modeling of the sexual marketplace carefully and properly. I dont try to bring it down to the individual level. What language or models would you choose to use for describing the bigger picture patterns? I'm always open to alternate approaches. There are eternal human issues that the widespread monogamy mating pattern addresses. That is the objective touchstone here. It isn't that this specific woman should date this specific man. It is that a sufficient % of men and women need to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 08:08 PM
1	Women don't owe men kinky sex acts This is all true. But so is the other side. Higher desire levels suppress disgust levels, which are innately higher in women. Some women absolutely did say swallow the semen of their college boyfriend because they thought he was so hot that swallowing was hot. And then with a guy they are attracted to, but not in the same overwhelming way, the thought is gross again. So the issue is getting the truth and each side to believe in it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 07:52 PM
0	Women need to influence other women to adapt to a male centric love system instead of following a female one to make society better No. There is an objective issue of how to make widespread monogamy work. Or find a substitute. If you tell men that they need to work smarter, not harder, most are open to that. Maybe they are prioritizing the wrong things. Men are more suspect of the narrative that right now women are just trying harder at life and mating and men need to make up some huge effort gap. And all of this misses the point that first and foremost men are asking for honesty, and they don't think they are getting it. No…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 07:46 PM
–	Her giving “her best” to another man before is irrelevant. Guys also don't think men should have to be hotter than their GFs or wives just to elicit desire. And people are lazy, men and women. So they are still operating on the script that women should date up a bit because they are the ones that get pregnant, etc. But not by so much that there can't be a 'pot for every lid'. For widespread monogamy to work. If women do that they are being unfair in some fundamental way. I'm not really defending any side. Just saying where the disagreement is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 07:42 PM
1	Women don't owe men kinky sex acts I get it. I'm just laying out where the real issue is. Men don't know what to believe. She may be telling the truth, but if the opposite were true, she'd probably lie about it. She probably should lie about it. So this is the kinda thing where the individual level matters, but you also need bigger picture support of that. Men are mistrustful as to what the overall, big picture female desire patterns are.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 07:35 PM
1	Women don't owe men kinky sex acts That doesn't really follow. My point is that most men don't really care about the sex acts per se. They just want to feel that their partner didn't find past flings so much more sexually desirable that all sex felt like a far superior thing with them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 07:20 PM
–	Her giving “her best” to another man before is irrelevant. It depends. Men lack some overall sense of true female desire patterns and hypergamy levels. It is hard to put this in context. Some argue that the delta for sexual satisfaction between sex with joe average and sex with a hot, confident, masculine guy who is experienced and puts in work is like night and day to women. Far larger that the difference between good and bad sex for a man. This, if true, would naturally upset most men. You are asking men to be non-human robots here. We are all prisone…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 06:32 PM
–	Her giving “her best” to another man before is irrelevant. It's not necessarily irrelevant if her past indicates she had a lot more visceral attraction to past partners than she does to you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 05:07 PM
-2	Women need to influence other women to adapt to a male centric love system instead of following a female one to make society better It would be better for society if women can reduce their standards to a light level of hypergamy so monogamy math can work better. Note to all, here we are talking about selectivity standards. Not 'is he kind, does he have a job, etc.'. BUT we don't fully know the ways nature and nurture are interacting here. The nightmare scenario is that women are hardwired to be way more sexually selective than widespread monogamy requires. Monogamy was DEI for average men and can only ever be implemented by …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 05:06 PM
1	Women don't owe men kinky sex acts Language about owing is not useful. What men want to know is the truth about female desire, particularly in a 2026 setting. It's not about the sex acts and never was. It is worrying that this is a sign that she was a lot hotter for guys in the past and is settling for you in ways you'd prefer not to be settled for.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 04:54 PM
4	Women have very little to gain from heterosexual sex & relationships and men don't care Both genders generally gain from marriage or a relationship. But I think life has become so competitive and de-gendered that because women are competing with men, they increasingly feel even the smallest perceived imbalances. Every edge matters when fighting for the next level up. There are lots of possible reasons for what looks like a steadily declining pairing rate. But I tend to believe lack of sexual attraction relative to increasing sexual expectations is the primary reason. Women are gett…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 04:51 PM
2	How will we convince the next generation to have kids, even though almost none of us want to have any? The overpopulation arguments are crazy. It's possible we are overpopulated now, depending on what metrics you want to use. But however one comes down on that, very quickly we will be past any overpopulation concerns and into underpopulation worries. Whatever your ideal population level is, once reached, a society needs replacement population. The math is unavoidable. Is the primary reason people aren't having kids is that they are feeling overpopulation triggers (real or just perceived), and peo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/26 11:40 AM
–	Why is female sexuality so weird? Without the implied disdain, this is actually an interesting question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/26 11:48 AM
1	Should women reject men that don’t treat them like they would a top 1% Stacy? I think most of the manosphere goes too far on this point, indeed. But I'm not sure the consensus cultural narratives on this are accurate, either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 02:42 PM
1	Should women reject men that don’t treat them like they would a top 1% Stacy? I personally have an open mind as to the details of what is actually true. I have some sympathy for the aspect of the argument that in today's cultural milieu, a lot of average young guys don't really know what to think. There are so many different and often contradictory messages coming from all sides about female sexuality and desire patterns. Sure, pay attention to the girl in front of you. But some sort of generalized expectations and understandings are also needed. There is a fear that most…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 01:23 PM
2	Should women reject men that don’t treat them like they would a top 1% Stacy? This misses the point. Beyond the exaggerations and occasional manosphere hysteria, the argument is not that extreme female beauty doesn't affect men. Obviously it does. The argument is that the difference in desire levels for Chad vs. Average Joe is a lot higher than the difference between how a guy feels about Stacy vs. Average Jane. And that this much greater difference in desire leads to important behavioral differences.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 10:25 AM
-1	It's a waste of time for men to support feminism/female causes Women have equal moral value to men. Women's happiness should be valued equal to men's. You have to transcend the gender wars. We are all in this together, regardless of whether some people of either gender recognize that or not. Of course, in 2026, what that means in practice is messy. I support some things labeled as 'female' causes, and not others. Sometimes I have to hold my nose at the associated bullshit ideology when I support some things; other times the stench of ideology is too high an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 10:22 AM
0	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? Female sexual selection was always a thing, but how it manifests varied. It was never unconstrained. How much female sexual selection should be allowed to manifest unchecked is hard to say. The NW European mating pattern of the past few hundred years still saw ~20% - 25% of women never marry. The ideal pairing rate is probably not 100%. Some eugenic sexual selection pressure is needed. At the same time, female selectivity levels are not all biological and there is cultural mediation. The bottom …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 06:07 PM
-3	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? This is very bad history. Humans were never like this at scale. Extremely large percentages of healthy, surviving males never went without sex just because surviving females didn't find them attractive. Cultures with freer mate choice tended to have less differences and distinctions between men so that the above didnt happen.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 05:38 PM
0	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? Homo Sapiens always had constrained mate choice for both genders, even if moreso for females. Differing reproductive success rates were not primarily due to female choice. Some posit more promiscuous and unguided mating before we were homo sapiens, but at that point male force also played a role.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 05:35 PM
0	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? Parsing them entirely is tough. But the default is not 'it's nurture unless you can definitively prove it is nature'. We make our best guesses. Agree that we have to always have humility with respect to our certainty levels.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 05:23 PM
0	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? I agree there can be all sorts of issues regarding whether certain claims are true or not. But I think the background expectation should be that there will be a lot of group-level gender differences psychologically and neurologically, beyond even hormones.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 05:08 PM
0	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? When was this mythical period where women chose their mates freely? Where the bulk of healthy, surviving males got no sex because their genes weren't good enough? Not while we were homo sapiens, that is for sure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 04:49 PM
-4	Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss? So evolution happens only below the neck?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 04:39 PM
2	The Male Loneliness Epidemic Is Like The Obesity Epidemic I think there are legitimate ways to argue that the system is fucked up without it seeming like you are whining or hoping some societal fix will come in time to help you out personally. But most people dont argue that way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 01:31 PM
1	If men focus on compatibility, they wouldn’t have to ‘play jester’ and be ‘Dance Monkeys’ on dates. They mean for relationships. One argument I am seeing more now in evo psych is basically that our ability to be attracted to someone only scales imperfectly to our own self-perceived attractiveness levels, particularly for women. So the lower-end of the SMP is the issue. At some point, even if completely clear-eyed about her own mate value, a lower-mate-value woman just feels zero physical desire for men of similar mate value rank. She's rather take some hookups with higher value men to see if s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 01:24 PM
2	If men focus on compatibility, they wouldn’t have to ‘play jester’ and be ‘Dance Monkeys’ on dates. I'm not saying YOU asserted that, but it is a common argument. Mate value rank is one way academics look at the SMP. It can be hard to compare raw mate value across genders, but at least conceptually, it is easier to rank someone's mate value within their own gender. So not looks only, but the complete package of traits that make someone attractive to the opposite gender. Many men are saying that--especially when young--a guy who ranks 30th out of 100 guys typically is aiming at a girl who ranks…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 12:57 PM
2	If men focus on compatibility, they wouldn’t have to ‘play jester’ and be ‘Dance Monkeys’ on dates. I think the assertion that men are all shooting out of their league and that primarily why they fail is far from proven at scale. It happens a lot to both genders. It's a human thing. But I am doubtful this is the real issue. Many men assert that they are interested in women of similar mate value rank, and those women are not interested in them. The compatible ones. The not compatible ones. If anything, the issue may be men refusing to accept the 'leagues' that the current market is creating. Ma…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 12:19 PM
2	The Male Loneliness Epidemic Is Like The Obesity Epidemic Fair. On an individual level, it kinda doesnt matter whether the big picture is unfairly stacked against you or not. Do better or suffer with what you get is basically the only advice possible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 12:09 PM
3	Men need to start leaving women alone. I was probably unfair to you. A lot of guys make posts about how men should do this collectively and then this will make women do that. And their ideas of how it would all work are socially naive. How to legitimately get cultural change in modern times given nations with less and less common culture, more diversity, more technology, etc. is a tough question. But some things still apply. Maybe some influential people have to do something individually as an example first. Maybe it is more about co…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 10:31 AM
10	Men need to start leaving women alone. These kinds of ideas rarely work. Humans are animals and have instincts that at scale people tend to follow. Thus, these are problems for a culture to solve. This is why social norms and rules emerge.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 08:50 AM
2	The Male Loneliness Epidemic Is Like The Obesity Epidemic There's a big difference between telling an individual vs. an entire gender to 'do better'.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/26 05:59 AM
2	A lot of women's expectations are written by players who center their lives around womanizing There are correlations between the types of aggressive, dominant, high T men that most women prefer more and some abusive traits. But that is not the same as some just world fallacy where hot guys are bad guys and not hot guys are all heroes. That is just silly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 09:50 PM
3	A lot of women's expectations are written by players who center their lives around womanizing I agree this gets crazy. OTOH, there are some correlations that are interesting and worth discussing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 08:12 PM
4	How do you feel about being a “shallow” woman’s enthusiastic minimum? Men are trying to get a handle on what the overall reality is so as to calibrate their actions. Most men know that they are not strictly speaking the hottest guy their girl has fucked, probably not even the hottest to her on a purely sexual level. But the question is how much does this matter? How much does the delta between you and past lovers matter?	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 08:09 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 OK. So pretty much all of the humanities are a waste of time. Everyone is so totally unique that doing anything other than learning one person at a time is useless.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 05:59 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 You know about you. But if we wanna understand averages at a population level, we will need more than your personal experiences.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 05:14 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Most of the literature suggests that male appearance and certain sexually exciting personality traits matter more for short term than long term relative to other factors. This seems true. But yeah, many men take this as some absolute truth that applies in every scenario. This is dumb. People are random. For some women I knew, casual was not something they usually did. Their casual partners were those men lucky enough to be semi-decent and available during those rare times where emotion and circu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 04:58 PM
1	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection Yeah, a lot has to do with how one defines monogamy. And humans have constrained the serial monogamous urge because it creates massive instability. But I think we could find ways to tolerate more serial monogamy, even if not ideal in many ways. However, the real issue is male sexual exclusion. You cannot exclude too many males. What that threshold is is hard to say, though. But if sexual musical chairs is the order of the day, OK. But it can't mean that say 40% of men basically don't play.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:55 PM
-2	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection For as long as we have been homo sapiens, it seems like heterosexual pairings have been the cornerstone of human social organization. But the details can vary: how long a pairing lasts, the family structure set up around those pairings, etc. New research I'm seeing suggests the issue might be that our ability to be attracted to someone only scales imperfectly with our own attractiveness levels, especially for women. So lower mate value women might just find their male equivalents insufficiently …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:52 PM
1	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection I think human nature is complicated and often contains tensions, particularly female sexual nature which has many internal tensions. There are older parts of our hardwiring that are not very suited to monogamy, and other newer parts that are. But the real question here is about female sexual selectivity. Widespread monogamy math means women have to select men whose mate value rank among men is not too much higher than hers among women. Some research is suggesting that in modern times, the issue …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:48 PM
1	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection The desire part is complicated. The idea that because women had more need of a mate to survive this meant that 80%+ of women were mating with men they had no desire for seems wrong. Research is suggesting that when women need a man, are comfortable with a man, know the men around them for a long time, etc. this can impact their actual desire standards.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:41 PM
3	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection Yeah, female sexual selectivity is manifested more subtly than most think. Some researchers are speculating that what we are seeing now is the first time in human history where that selectivity is actually free to manifest directly, unfiltered and mediated. It's interesting and the big open question: Is widespread monogamy basically just against female nature? How selective are women? How much is culturally and environmentally mediated? All open questions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:30 PM
4	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection Always open to new ideas, but I have never read that at all. Quite the opposite. The reading I have seen is that it was likely due to elite men being able to hoard resources in ways never seen before and this causing an enormous surge in male on male violence.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:15 PM
3	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection While women are innately more sexually selective, how much of the reproductive success difference is actually due to greater female sexual selectivity? While a large part of our sexual hardwiring comes from pre-human times, humans have been constraining mate selection for both genders since forever. Many of the reproductive bottlenecks are caused by surges in male death rates from violence, and from elite men creating harems of women. But the extent to which women chose to be in the harem vs. be…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:13 PM
6	If you’re a man and can’t find a partner, it’s just natural selection More importantly, these bottlenecks and the general difference in reproductive success rates do not seem to be primarily a product of female sexual choice.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 01:06 PM
–	Why are women so sexually passive? I think this is a complex answer with many reasons, some of which run deep into evolutionary biology. The idea that it is just women consciously testing men and avoiding men who dont really like you but want sex is maybe part of it, but superficial at best. As is women having optionality, etc. Deep down, though, men and women feel that female sexuality is the prize. Women want/need sex and relationships, too. And trying to figure out who needs it more seems counterproductive. However, our brains…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 12:12 PM
1	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? I don't think skills need to be formally taught. Rather, if the cultural narratives on gender can become more based in reality, then dynamics will naturally emerge that accomplish the same thing. Somehow we have to get candid engagement from female thought leaders and influencers into a real investigation of gender in a modern context.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/26 03:49 AM
2	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? If men are doing things the wrong way, or prioritizing the wrong efforts, then better cultural messaging can possibly improve that. If men aren't working as hard as women in life, then that can be addressed. But we cannot, at scale, expect men to work harder at life than women for the same rewards just because women have greater sexual leverage. That wouldn't be sustainable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/26 02:32 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I meant that many of the studies and stats that people use to inform their wider beliefs in this area are suspect.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 07:16 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Beyond the fact that stats here are suspect, I think there can be significant demographic differences. What is normal for your age and area may not actually be the overall norm for the nation, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 06:00 PM
3	Nice guys should accept being alone Lots, but yeah, PPD here is on the decline and I get way fewer interesting conversations here now. Not quite sure what happened.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 05:51 PM
2	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? These are factors, but they also seem addressable. And we disagree on the details here, but that's how it goes. I do think women are not fully engaging in this conversation. There are other factors that need to be addressed, candidly. But circling back to your point about independence, I think part of the reasons women do not fully engage with the big picture issues is that in their minds this legitimizes them. And right now, the primary female fear is men controlling their sexuality in any way.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 05:29 PM
2	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? I see your points, and they are common arguments. We disagree a lot on the details, especially your characterization of the past, but no need to get bogged down there. The real issue is that even if we now have freedom to choose on an individual level, at the society level that is an illusion. We need a certain hetero pairing rate. We need kids. We need stable relationships as the basis for families. These are all still true. So the question is how do we get there in a way that is as fair to bot…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 04:25 PM
2	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? Ultimately, modern men don't know what to think. The idea has been raised now that maybe women are and always were innately very sexually selective. Now many men worry that throughout history, the vast majority of women had no desire for their men and would have left or at least gone non-sexual if they could have gotten away with it. Now women are free to manifest this hardwiring. The idea that your girl is doing her shopping list while you fuck her, or is wishing you were some hotter guy, maybe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 03:49 PM
2	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? I partly agree with you. I think TRP often fails to understand what the conscious, experienced thought process is that goes on inside a woman's mind. At the same time, we are not really fully integrated personalities. How one thinks they think is not the full story at all. I appreciate that you are emphasizing the safety and comfort aspects. But I think there are other important factors as well. I don't think TRP is entirely wrong about the why, just that often it misses important parts of the s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 03:36 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 There are important psychological factors, as well. Too many people wanna play out the fight like it is some tabletop wargame, using the base stats and assuming everyone will act like an emotionless psycho robot.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 03:32 PM
3	Question for lesbian/bi women of reddit. What was your "EUREKA" moment when you start dating other women did you notice that you finally start understanding mens issues? I don't think all the same systems are activated when women date other women as compared to evaluating men. I think some part of their hardwiring tells them that men are uniquely dangerous: this gets you pregnant! I've had some close bi and lesbian friends. Yes, they do joke sometimes that 'bitches are impossible to date'. But really, despite some similarities, lesbian dating also seemed different fundamentally than hetero. For one, standards seemed lower for girl-on-girl dating than when evalua…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 02:36 PM
6	Nice guys should accept being alone This is why individual-level stuff is less interesting to me, at least online. You need a lot of context. It all depends on many things. And in the end, the advice is basically the same: improve or accept your results, but please STFU. No systemic changes are likely to happen on a timeline that will help you out personally. If things are unfair, then they are unfair. Deal with it. But the bigger picture stuff is interesting. Guys who feel society is unfair to men have a right to talk about it, m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 02:29 PM
3	Why aren't more women happy that men are analyzing human attraction and trying to figure out women? Some of us do have a problem with TRP excesses of all kinds. But it is understandable. TRP was ultimately a window for real truths about gender from evo psych and other sources to get back into the conversation that political correctness was locking them out of. But naturally the need to monetize quickly deranged TRP as it deranges everything. The quicker one can move past TRP into the actual better sources that it draws on, the better. Good evo psych is more balanced about gender natures, natur…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 02:25 PM
–	Solve dating problems mainly through culture/society, or mainly through politics/laws ? We aren't there yet. We are still purging a lot of post-60s political correctness that deranged the conventional narratives on all of this stuff. Women have not really engaged candidly and with rigor as to what the actual issues are. In fact, too many are still stuck on the idea that there is no issue or worse, cannot possibly be an issue because it's individual choice. However those free personal choices add up is how they add up: nothing to be done that wouldn't be worse than just accepting wh…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 02:20 PM
–	There’s a gap between “safe advice” and what actually drives reptilian, instinctive reaction/attraction in practice, and it’s a lesson many men have to learn the hard way. You get the point that so few else do. Not only are there tensions inside a woman with respect to what she wants from and in men, but beyond that there are evolutionary reasons for women to compartmentalize and lie to themselves, and to manipulate the women and the men around her. Just like men have evolutionary reasons for overestimating their own desirability and being overconfident.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 10:20 AM
1	Why do (some!!) men that sex robots/robot gfs will be a legitimate replacement for real romantic relationships with a human women? I think all these are open questions and important ones. I don't agree with the Blackpillers who feel they are settled certainties. I also disagree with those who feel certain this Blackpillish POV is either totally wrong, or worse, that it doesn't matter: Dating is about personal choice, so who cares how these choices add up?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/05/26 04:27 PM
2	Why do (some!!) men that sex robots/robot gfs will be a legitimate replacement for real romantic relationships with a human women? Most of these guys believe that since the dawn of time, men and circumstances in general suppressed innate female sexual selectivity in various ways. Now that women are free to choose and do not require a man for survival, this innate selectivity is finally able to manifest itself. In addition, the current culture and environment inflate and distort female selectivity beyond even these levels. As a result, their belief is that an increasingly high percentage of men simply will not be able to get…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/05/26 03:21 PM
1	Men need to stop trying to get women to like them. It's important that the genders do things to cater to the preferences of the opposite gender. Men--especially young men--just need to act as if women don't have any sexual leverage advantage. Don't let market value in a SMP that is increasingly about sexual attraction define your overall value relative to anyone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/05/26 02:33 PM
–	Men do not understand when women are not attracted to them and deploy ego-protective mechanisms The research showing men do this more than women is pretty established. There are solid evolutionary reasons. However, the degree of overestimation can vary based on culture and environment. Right now, modern men are confused as to female attraction standards in general. Most still operate under the old paradigm that women are more selective, and do mate upwards a bit. But that selectivity levels are not that high--they are consistent with a widespread monogamy world. So I think this may contrib…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/05/26 11:56 AM
12	Female hypergamy is not only alive but thriving. Hypergamy is pointing at a real thing, but it needs better defining. Classic educational hypergamy is on the decline. So even is income hypergamy. However, there are signs that the desire for hypergamous matches is not necessarily on the decline, and that when women 'settle' for non-hypergamous matches in these areas, the relationship suffers. But these are all downstream of whatever hypergamy truly is at the evolved instinct level. We didn't evolve for money and modernity. So the true hypergamo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/05/26 11:48 AM
2	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives When do you think was the last time human sexual and natural selection was governed primarily by the sexual selectivity of young females? In more intense Darwinian times, it was primarily men competing and fighting amongst themselves that dictated mating. And luck, as in most time, if you were a healthy adult male that survives you would not be without some mating options.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/05/26 11:32 AM
5	I don't understand redpill for woman. Ultimately, all things TRP boil down to it being a portal to Evo Psych truths that political correctness was keeping out of the public narrative. Women or men can benefit from knowing these. But past that, TRP of all kind can diverge. Despite claims of being non-prescriptive, presciptions and moralizing naturally crept in from the start because that is how humans be. We prescribe and moralize. Some of the prescriptions made sense and some did not. Also, because the real evo psych thinkers couldn…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 06:36 PM
2	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Misunderstanding. That is basically what I meant by 'there was no alternative'. As far as I can see, this remains true. I meant no big picture, civilizational alternative to enforced monogamy. Everything else either gets you outcompeted by other societies with monogamy, or you just disintegrate on your own.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 05:38 PM
12	If many women say you are a total catch but won’t date you, the harsh truth is that they are lying to you. I think women need to be more honest about dating, mating and female sexuality. But in the appropriate forums. Academically. Stuff that moves the overall social consensus on these things. Expecting people to tell you the blunt truth in person when it would make things awkward is basically autistic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 01:38 PM
2	Red pill men: what turned you red pill? Ultimately Red Pill vs. Blue Pill is evo psych vs. 60s social constructionism. TRP is a gateway to evo psych, but often distorts things for clicks. Evo psych is obviously our best approach to answering these questions, even if imperfect. But I made my way to it through TRP and then left TRP behind as it got more and more warped by the need to monetize.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 08:26 AM
0	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives This is way deeper than rights. This is civilization 101 stuff. Pre-civ, even. Your society needs to function and compete. A lot of the relevant literature talks about how humans accreted different layers of sexual hardwiring over time. Some of the deeper stuff is pre-human and tends to be more polygamous. The more recent wiring is from when human intelligence made baby heads so big that human babies had to come out undercooked, requiring paternal investment. The think this is where love and the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 07:34 AM
0	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives I'm saying I don't know for sure. Women are innately more selective, but the question is how selective? And what impact do cultural and environmental factors have vs. biology? Even on the evolution front, if society could somehow still function, and you allowed unfettered female selectivity, that doesn't mean we evolve towards less selectivity as natural selection breeds hotter guys. In species where women choose, evolution often just entrenches that. Most males just never reproduce and you don'…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 07:26 AM
1	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Yes, it benefits both genders because the apparent alternative is society collapsing. But the issue is that we value sex, desire, the erotic much more highly now. Women argue, basically, that based on the higher value of erotic currency, the terms of this tradeoff are totally unfair to women. Essentially, if monogamy still proves necessarily, women want way more compensation for their sexual sacrifice.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 07:03 AM
0	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Humans probably didn't let female selectivity and a free mating market decide which men reproduced since forever. Maybe before we were homo sapiens. Maybe never. Lower male reproductive success rates are primarily the results of violence patterns, and some periods of more intense polygamy and harem keeping. But again, who mated with whom was still not a purely individual decision the vast majority of the time, be it the woman's or the man's. Still, the argument has been made that this just means…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 06:53 AM
0	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Real natural selection would take thousands of years to run its course. But why do you say this? Did we somehow breed unattractive men recently?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 06:01 AM
1	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Socially enforced monogamy is an academic term. It doesn't mean marriage at gunpoint. It's a complex web of social and legal dynamics that incentivize pairing and having children and punish not doing so. Monogamy is still enforced, just less so. But if you are openly living in a threesome, you still get dirty looks. Cheating is still frowned upon. Family still pressures you, somewhat. Etc. But it isn't like it use to be. I want everyone to be happy. I want people to be with people they want to b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 03:33 AM
2	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility I'm not sure anyone fully understands the fertility crisis. It increasingly feels like a death by a thousand cuts scenario rather than one main cause. I agree that it is not easy to afford kids in the US, but the crisis is global. And the stats don't really show it is all about money, though I have no doubt it can contribute to the problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 03:28 AM
1	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives That's an issue, though there are reasons for this asymmetry. But I think the question is more fundamental and it may be worse for women even if nobody cheats.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 03:07 AM
2	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility Birthrate is obviously critical. It's basic math. We can argue about whether we are currently overpopulated, but at whatever population one considers ideal, you still need 2.1 kids per woman. I think society will need to do more than just helping out those who want kids--it will have to make more people want them in the first place. But the extent to which the fertility rate crisis is connected to gender dynamics is unclear. Men don't want enough kids either. But the widespread monogamy mating p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 03:06 AM
1	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives Monogamy is already enforced. It has always been enforced. It's a question of how strongly and in what ways. I could definitely see more formal and legal enforcement like this at some point. But ultimately social enforcement always pulled more weight than legal, and we don't have very strong societies to enforce much of anything anymore. The open question is whether enforced monogamy is innately unfair to women due to higher selectivity levels and different sexuality patterns. That is to say tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 02:45 AM
1	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives The Devil is in the Details? What percentage is 'most'? What is 'some'? The monogamous mating paradigm doesn't work if say just 51% of adults pair up, despite that being 'most'. Monogamy was always partly unnatural for humans. There is a reason past societies worked so hard to enforce it. This enforcement always created countless tragedies at the individual level, male and female. Yet it was still done because there was no alternative.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 02:34 AM
2	[Repost - Discussion] What system is most likely to replace traditional monogamy in the long term? Open to all perspectives I think societies will see that the same pressures that created monogamy will require its reinforcement. You can already see signs that the elite are re-embracing it for these reasons. The elephant in the room is female sexual selectivity levels. Was widespread monogamy always innately more costly to women than men because far more women get forced into being with a partner they do not desire than men? Or are we doing something to inflate female selectivity levels? Or have men somehow become les…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 02:19 AM
4	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility This is argued a lot. I question how truthful this is at scale. But I also question whether, even if true, this would be the main reason behind declining pairing rates. I think the main factor is that women don't seem to find enough men attractive enough for the old widescale monogamy paradigm to function. Whether this was always true, and women are just now free to act on this innate biology; or if something is artificially inflating female standards; or if men are lagging behind women and coul…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 04:58 PM
7	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility Men need to improve? What about women? Are women just better at being partners than men naturally? Right now? Do men need to just work harder at life, or is it that men are prioritizing the wrong things?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 04:21 PM
6	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility Possibly declining heterosexual pairing rates. The need--unless some better way if found--for a successful society to pair enough of its men and women. The need for replacement birthrates. Whether the social media digital environment is inflating women's standards (and maybe men's too). The nature of male and female sexuality. Etc. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 04:06 PM
2	“Men would love to be sexually objectified” Well, I think the misandry vs. misogyny balance varies from place to place and period to period. But yeah, in modern West, women probably hate men more than the other way around. But things are looking up for Team Misogyny: Immigrate in enough muslims an that may tilt the balance.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 03:23 PM
4	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility They do and those that act like they do not should be called out. At scale, I guess the question would then be whether women think men are not working hard enough at mating, or whether it is more men are working dumb and not prioritizing their efforts properly. You can't really expect men to just have to do more in life to make widespread monogamy work because women have more leverage in an increasingly unregulated mating market.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 02:40 PM
5	“Men would love to be sexually objectified” I agree that once the novelty is past, men do not like being overly objectified either. That said, I think there are still gendered differences. Men won't hate it as much as women will.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 02:34 PM
11	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility I'm asking for women to treat these things as potentially serious and to be candid and honest in discussions about gender, sexuality, mating, etc. That's it. Not for any one gender to unilaterally solve anything. That said, any blame for not being candid is tempered by the fact that I understand there are a lot of reasons why women are not. But at some point that has to stop.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 02:32 PM
18	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility On the individual level, waiting for group solutions is madness. If they come, they won't come on your timeline. They won't help you out personally. I'm just talking about the bigger picture.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 02:30 PM
1	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility I do. But as I said, the individual stuff is contextual and not that interesting to me. So more interested in the bigger picture stuff.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 02:29 PM
12	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility I think women are failing to address the systemic sides of these potential problems seriously or candidly. That is mainly where I lay blame. Men have their areas where they are to blame as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 12:19 PM
33	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility There are two distinct issues: (1) What a man should do in 2026 given the world is how it is and isn't gonna change for his timeline. And (2) whether there are systemic issues that need systemic solutions. I don't approve of the whining on an individual level. It never made anything better. But if the gender pairing rates are dropping, that is a society-wide problem that needs addressing. Has to addressed in a way that is fair to both genders, ofc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 11:39 AM
1	Men (and society) want tangible value from women but are mad that women want tangible value too I think various dynamics--not just female sexual selectivity--tend to always prune more of the male low-end from the mating pool than is true with women. Thus, by SMV RANK women end up mating upwards on average. But I agree, this doesn't necessarily mean some large actual difference in circumstances, or even that women mated up in raw mate value as it is hard to compare raw mate value across genders.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/26 06:51 PM
1	Men (and society) want tangible value from women but are mad that women want tangible value too I'm just saying that many aspects of the 'equitable transaction' have values that are not entirely fixed, and that society can engineer as part of its incentive system. Of course, typically this engineering is mostly emergent and adaptive over time, not some fully conscious plan. But even in the most 'patriarchal' societies, I think women still mated upwards in SMV rank by gender, i.e. a 55th percentile mate value woman in medieval China still probably married a man who ranked higher than 55th p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/26 05:22 AM
1	Men (and society) want tangible value from women but are mad that women want tangible value too Thanks. There's even more variability than that because all markets are rigged in some way or another. Thus, even the equitable transaction part can be somewhat engineered. If men have to provide more because women have more innate value and/or sacrifice more, but your society's rules and circumstances create a scenario where men naturally have more resources, how do you actually describe that transaction? But the other side of the balance sheet can also change. Right now, most young women don't…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/26 04:44 AM
7	Men (and society) want tangible value from women but are mad that women want tangible value too Voluntary heterosexual mate pairings do depend on some sort of equitable underlying transaction of value. However, depending on culture and context, different things can have different values. Biology is real, so the variation is by no means infinite; but it is significant. If a society creates conditions where widespread monogamous and sufficiently stable heterosexual pairings, along with a replacement fertility rate, are not possible, that society will die out. Assuming of course it doesn't fi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/26 10:10 PM
–	A woman’s bad experiences become boundaries and standards. Mens are insecurities and Misogyny I think it depends on the standard. People tend to interpret someone announcing standards as pushing a generalized gender ideal. The current ideology is for genderless parity. Announce you won't date broke girls, girls who aren't successful, who aren't bosses and high agency and many girls will applaud you. Announce you don't like high body counts and women think you are pushing the idea that sexual purity is more important in women than men. They won't be happy. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/26 11:37 AM
1	Male Feminist I agree people have to understand how something can be true in general, but that individual variance is high. That said, I have a very different opinion in general. I think we are seeing the limits of enlightenment liberalism, particularly as all the counterbalancing illiberal institutions like religion, family, society, etc. have weakened. I think we will see a re-gendering. More gendered expectations. Even some different legal rights and responsibilities. But we aren't going back to the Middle…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 08:24 PM
2	In your opinion, what "🍇 adjacent" solutions does TRP suggest? Gotcha. Yeah, that would be wrong and I doubt society would ever go there or need to. I don't think people not wanting enough kids is necessarily some inevitable thing based in biology and human nature, just finally free to express itself. I think it is a case of culture, environment and incentives. Basically, as humans we are failing if people don't want to reproduce.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 07:28 PM
1	In your opinion, what "🍇 adjacent" solutions does TRP suggest? Whether we need to downsize overall is a different question, ultimately. And doesn't change the fundamental issues since once you reach whatever population level you think is right, you still need 2.1 kids and ways to raise them and all that. I don't think we need technology or to outsource everything. I don't believe that in the right cultural setting and environment, being pregnant, raising children, etc. constitutes being cattle, or that most women would feel that way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 06:01 PM
1	Most young women are dating the same set of terrible men But the devil is in the details. Been hard to get solid data on a lot of these things with the kind of resolution needed to parse these percentages, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 04:02 PM
3	Male Feminist Different but equal is totally possible, at least in theory. In practice it is harder to do than identical and thus equal. But sometimes identical isnt possible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 04:01 PM
0	Why are so many straight women aroused better by female bodies than male ones? I suspect that women evolved a special kind of sexuality for hetero relations with men as this is the most impactful and dangerous. This is why I tend to reject comparisons between hetero and homosexual behavior. I don't think women are as selective with other women. And this originates very deep down in the hardware and firmware.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 03:59 PM
2	Most young women are dating the same set of terrible men Agree. But there is probably some asymmetry. More chads sharing girls than girls sharing chad. However, It's important to focus on the leading edge demographics that predict the future more or influence young people in general more. Maybe you are starting to see a more pronounced Chad effect in college life than before, for example. More guys sitting it out than girls. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 03:55 PM
-1	In your opinion, what "🍇 adjacent" solutions does TRP suggest? People who go that far and issue it as a threat are indeed garbage. But the reality is not like that. It isn't that there will be breeding farms. It's just that society will go back to some version of what it had before where it puts enough pressure on people to couple and have kids that enough of that happens. Transition would be rough, but still not Handmaid's Tale or whatever. And social pressures would impact both genders. In a fair way or not is a different story. Hard to say. But I'm also …	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 03:40 PM
-3	In your opinion, what "🍇 adjacent" solutions does TRP suggest? The last one isn't really advocating it. It is just noticing patterns in history and human behaviors. Ultimately, moist societies will adapt and not allow lack of fertility or lack of heterosexual pairings in general to end the society. Measures will be taken. If nicer ones don't work, eventually not so nice ones will be used. That's basic reality. Men and women arent actually in some big gender negotiation where extinction or social collapse is the leverage women have if men don't find a way to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 10:54 AM
5	Indian guy here - how do red-pillers apply RP logic and philosophy to countries where women are objectively worse-off? At this point, asking for what 'Red Pill' thinks just doesn't work. It's grown and changed and there are many schools of belief and thought that claim some Red Pill ancestry. Some is still purely descriptive, but prescriptive ideas got thrown into the TRP mix very early on despite some trying to keep it 'pure' and free of such things. Core TRP is basically applied Evolutionary Psychology. It seeks to try to isolate, as best as possible, the evolved gendered impulses and then look at how they int…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 07:45 AM
5	Women keep reframing RP observations as men trying to control women At this point, arguing what the 'real' TRP is or is not seems way too simplistic, on both sides of the argument. But we can walk and chew gum at the same time--at least in theory. We should be able to analyze both TRP as a movement and specific TRP claims, unrelated to what one thinks motivates such claims. And there is a moral component, but it's complicated. On some level, all sane humans understand that society has an interest of some kind in aggregate mating outcomes. Even if all decisions a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/26 07:09 AM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations 'Monogamy' is just a word. The map is not the terrain. There are strong, nearly-universal patterns in human mating.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/26 11:15 PM
1	Women don't chase Chad because women don't experience post-nut clarity I think that one has to be reasonable in a 2026 setting. You probably aren't going to be best at every aspect of sex, or the hottest person, etc. that your partner has ever been with. Sure, familiarity-derived skills increase over time but are probably offset by loss of novelty. But so long as the gap is reasonable, that doesnt exactly make you second choice for sex IMO, particularly since she is also probably not the hottest or best in every sexual way the guy has been with.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/26 04:27 PM
1	Most young women are dating the same set of terrible men I really dunno. Not only does it have to happen enough with a large enough group of men to move the overall averages significantly, but we are also focusing on the change between now and say the rise of social media. That change has to be pretty large, at scale. Moreover, for it to matter, it has to be a case where women being able to fuck upwards casually with guys they can't land is what is preventing these women from pairing with guys they could land. It is possible some other change is doing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/26 08:56 AM
2	Women don't chase Chad because women don't experience post-nut clarity I agree. But to put a sharper point on it, for a lot of guys the worry gets to the next level. They get that, just as is the case with himself, she might not have the most raw sexual attraction to him she has ever felt. Or that there are aspects of sex where other guys have been better. And he gets that she is desirous of sex with him. But the worry is that the delta between sufficiently and maximally attracted or turned on, and between OK sex and great sex, is much higher for women. Possibly so…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/26 08:46 AM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations South American Partible Paternity cultures are interesting. Above all, it is based on a fundamental error that most human groups figure out. Beyond that, As with similar anthropological episodes seen in the South Pacific, we need to be careful about assuming we know the details of their sexual mores. There is still family structure. Husbands and wives. You aren't seeing female selectivity exclude too many men from sex and reproduction. And there is debate about the impact of sexual jealousy, eve…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/26 06:54 AM
0	Most young women are dating the same set of terrible men I think there is a gendered asymmetry here, the fairness of which is questionable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 05:54 PM
41	Most young women are dating the same set of terrible men There has clearly been an increase in soft harems at the upper end of the SMP. But how statistically significant this is at scale is hard to say. It's also true that there are correlations between what women find sexually attractive and bad male behavior. Also some correlations between some good behavior. But maybe more of the former in a modern context. Still, in an era that puts sex and desire first, women are following their hardwiring: going after men they find desirable. Just like men have …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 12:01 PM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations These are still fringe and I doubt can scale. Only so many exceptional people. Moreover, they are not always as open and free as they may seem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 11:54 AM
2	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations where is that true? that there is no such thing as somebody else's partner?	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 11:01 AM
1	Some men need to wake up and realise that being single and being lonely are not the same thing I think women do better as co-husbands than men do as co-wives, yeah. But that seems a different issue than whether society has structure based around high heterosexual pairing rates, families, children, local community, etc. I think society will walk back the no gender roles ideal anyways, as it is not tenable. We dont need 1750s gender roles, but we can't go genderless. It just doesn't work. Too many gendered expectations are hardwired into us, especially in our sexual hardwiring.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 09:24 AM
–	Unironically, normie men could be the most selective group about commitment One could measure selectivity by many metrics. I think modernity has inflated and distorted the selectivity levels of both genders. However, I doubt that normie men are the most selective group by virtually any metric.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 09:14 AM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations It's more about social structures that encourage and enforce longer term hetero relationships for creating families. Whether there is some polygamy or not doesn't really matter that much for the maths, though it can have outsized psychological effects if it is some ideal, even if not many achieve it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 07:51 AM
1	Some men need to wake up and realise that being single and being lonely are not the same thing I think the literature strongly suggests women just innately do better without structure, regardless of gender roles or not. Men struggle more to find meaning in life whereas women can find enough meaning with just their tight, informal relationships. But even women do better with the right structure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 07:22 AM
2	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations Yeah, enofrced monogamy and marriage are not the same thing. There's no real hard evidence on prehistory, and a lot of our ethnographic research on low technology tribes is still tainted by modernity in various ways. But we have enough evidence to say that it wasn't orgy time 24/7. People couldnt just fuck who they wanted when they wanted.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 07:01 AM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations There's always enforcement or even proto-civilization ends quickly. Things like not fucking someone else's partner or facing sanction of some kind is enforcement. Recognizing relationships in some formal way is enforcement. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 06:51 AM
2	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations exactly and there is still relationship enforcement dynamics that apply to monogamous or polygamous marriages.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 06:36 AM
4	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations Yeah, there is an unfortunate history of everyone projecting their views on 'true human nature' back on to prehistory. The evidence we do have suggests a fair amount of variation, though not on all things. Human competition is already forcing things on prehistoric tribes that are not entirely innate, though ofc their lifestyle is much closer to what we are biologically adapted for.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 06:34 AM
2	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations They had their forms of religion. And no tribe would survive if men inside the tribe could just kill each other over women whenever they wanted. But it is true that many tribes would raid and take wives. Monogamy and its enforcement were needed to compete and survive. That is why it is universal. But whether widespread monogamy is innately more onerous on women, or if perhaps just the common terms of it were worse for women, can be debated.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 04:18 AM
2	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations marriage is not encouraged in muslim families? yeah, some polygamy may be aspired to, but that only works because everyone knows not that high a % of men will be able to do it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 04:07 AM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations It was encouraged in islamic India, too. Just about everywhere.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 03:57 AM
4	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations The details varied, but even in prehistoric caveman times monogamy was generally enforced. Sure, most societies have had polygamy as well, but some structure to that and usually only for a rare number of men who could afford it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 03:57 AM
2	Some men need to wake up and realise that being single and being lonely are not the same thing I think it's normal and desirable for humans to make being in a relationship a major priority. Humanity is in deep trouble if that stops being the case. But sure, on an individual level, we have to live in the world we are born in. Some men may be catastrophizing singleness to some extent. That is also not good. I do think the OP may be exaggerating how much men use women as emotional life support, especially compared to the converse. I think the real issue is that widespread heterosexual pairin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 03:29 AM
15	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations I don't discount these as factors. But I look at the bigger picture as well. For all of human history, despite there being more obvious need to pair and have a family, and despite a lack of birth control, all societies worked very hard to enforce widespread monogamous pairings and having children within such pairings. Society also worked hard to keep the pairings together. Why would they have done all this work if this all just came naturally to humans? And thus, all online dating and technology…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 03:11 AM
1	Do straight women exist? I think given the basic differences in hetero sexuality between the genders, treating male and female homosexuality as symmetrical in nature may be a mistake.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 01:40 AM
-1	Men are panicking more about being unmarried and childless than women You take away the sex part and most marriages will have issues, at least when everyone is below 50. Im not saying it is the most important thing; just that without it marriages today tend to die.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 01:32 AM
–	The majority of women can’t make men feel as desired as women who engage in casual sex with them. A pattern of regular casual offers is pretty good proof of at least superficial desirability. But women can have lots of reasons for casual if talking about one woman and/or one encounter. It's not like every casual encounter had a hotter dude than a girl's relationship partners.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 06:55 PM
0	Men are panicking more about being unmarried and childless than women Fair. Devastated is a a strong word. Maybe too strong. But in terms of opportunity costs and what would have made women happier overall, I think a lot of childfree women end up less happy than they would have been otherwise. But it all comes down to the big open question of female selectivity levels in an environment with modern sexual expectations. If a huge chunk of women simply don't find the men they can land sufficiently attractive, then pairing with such men for family creation in a time w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 06:23 PM
-4	Men are panicking more about being unmarried and childless than women Young men care more right now. How much is culture vs. biology is hard to say. How the gender differences change if you look at the whole life cycle is also hard to say. A lot of childless women who are devastated by it when they get older. Also not sure it matters which gender thinks it cares more. Seems bad for everyone overall if the pairing and fertility rates drop too low.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:50 PM
–	The reason most high functioning autistic men are lonely is bc they were coddled too much That comes down to how one defines leagues. I think men are much more willing to date within their smv rank range than women, i.e. if he is the 50th out of 100 ranked man in overall attractiveness, he is more willing than a woman to date someone with a similar rank from the opposite gender. But if one posits that men in general arent doing enough or are prioritizing the wrong things, then equating ranking among men to ranking among women won't work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:36 PM
2	Any movement that aims to "decenter" the other gender is and has always been fraudulent. The underlying issue is that nobody knows the rules now. There is no consensus on what reasonable expectations should be. What attraction standards should be. Etc. I think most men are still operating unconsciously on the old widespread monogamy scripts. Women want to pair as much as men overall, even if raw libido is less. Women are more selective and some hypergamy is normal and even justified, but not so much you can't get high pairing rates. It is 'unfair' if women hold out for much higher s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:31 PM
–	The reason most high functioning autistic men are lonely is bc they were coddled too much Right. Not sure about the overall since women are half of society, but women are more unforgiving of divergence from social norms in general.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:24 PM
–	The reason most high functioning autistic men are lonely is bc they were coddled too much Women's current standards at least seem to be too high for the 'somebody for everybody' math of the widespread monogamy math to math. Whether this is the case with men is an interesting question. I think there will be a gender difference here, but whether men are aiming too high as well is hard to say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:13 PM
1	Why ranking people 1–10 doesn’t really work. The various forms of quantitative ranking work fine if you use them properly. But people do tend to start mistaking the map for the terrain and overinvesting in the ranking systems.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 04:03 PM
1	Women don't chase Chad because women don't experience post-nut clarity I don't like the post-nut clarity framing as it isn't like this really impacts male behavior that much. Young men get horny again soon and forget whatever it is they felt during the refractory period. The framing aside, yes, the OP gets at a difference between men and women with respect to attraction. However, there are interesting arguments as to whether this is because female attraction is qualitatively different (responsive vs. active) or whether this last framing is just cope for the fact th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 03:18 PM
–	The easiest way to have success with Women with the least effort, is to be in a enviroment or Situation where you meet a lot off Women. This sounds so simple, but most men dont realize this and claim its not true, but it is. Yeah. The competition is weak in a way. But one has to remember that so is whatever young dude being given advice. Still, on an individual level, one has to play the game you live in. Real solutions will be bigger picture and society-based, but they won't come along in time to bail you out personally.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 08:33 AM
–	The easiest way to have success with Women with the least effort, is to be in a enviroment or Situation where you meet a lot off Women. This sounds so simple, but most men dont realize this and claim its not true, but it is. I actually agree that putting in the work to have a real life, meatspace social circle is important, and for more than dating. But now we are into personal self-improvement goals in a way. This won't happen at scale because average people are average in many ways. So when one gives this advice in 2026 it is a lot like advising someone to 'looksmax' or hit the gym a lot, etc. You are telling them to outperform, to be better than the competition, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 08:26 AM
–	The easiest way to have success with Women with the least effort, is to be in a enviroment or Situation where you meet a lot off Women. This sounds so simple, but most men dont realize this and claim its not true, but it is. The counterargument from the young ones is that this world no longer exists the way it once did. Meatspace is being overwhelmed by the virtual. There's no easy way for the average dude, working an average job, to cultivate this kind of social circle. Only so many hours. World has changed. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 08:01 AM
2	Being wanted is better than being needed Maybe. Men are confused about what the underlying reality of female attraction is at a population level scale. So they can't figure out where their relationship fits and what the costs might be for her having a given level of attraction. Obviously, not all of this process would take fully consciously at the individual level.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 07:58 AM
–	Why do men think qualities that are impressive are not the bare minimum women want? I don't think most men believe these are impressive. Rather, they believe that women ultimately want to pair up about as much as men, even if their libidos are not as strong. They understand that women date up, but don't think it is to that great extent. Thus, if they have the 'bare minimum' why can't they pair with Carla from the office who is about their looks level and has the same as him, but is maybe a job title down or so? Most men accept that some degree of hypergamy is natural and even f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/26 10:41 AM
2	Questions for red pilled guys, after seeing some recent debate clips Myron says this as an ideal knowing like--just as in the past--polygamy and multiple wives will not be achievable for the vast majority of men. So monogamy will be the mainstay and the maths will math. I don't agree that the most attractive men should have multiple wives/GFs or cheat. But it can work at a societal level. There is ultimately no 'deserve' here. There is ruthless material competition between polities and societies. What outcompetes eventually becomes the norm. Simple as that. Well,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 03:48 PM
4	Simps are the problem. Still ignores the elephant in the room: female attraction and selectivity levels to men. If--and it is an open question--women are as innately selective as many posit, then simping is all these guys offer. So if they stop simping, then they just lose what female attention they got. Probably for the best because it was not sincere attention. But the end of simping wouldn't change much for the men women actually desire. Women don't expect crazy unequal treatment from such men; indeed, sometimes th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 03:17 PM
3	Men are non chalant bc of women I wouldn't say that is in the OP but yeah, that is a thing. But it's interesting behavior. I suspect that the reason women can't admit to this is that the first people they gaslight is themselves. We are complex things, us people. So sure, part of their brain knows the truth, whatever that is exactly. But perhaps there is some psychological need to lie to themselves. Maybe it facilitates the pairing that does happen somehow.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 11:55 PM
2	Men are non chalant bc of women What behavioral traits? Men and women both going after who they are attracted to and both getting discouraged and disengaging from dating if they feel their chances at an attractive partner are too low.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 11:35 PM
3	Men are non chalant bc of women Agree. But the bigger picture is that if overall pairing rates drop too low, we all have huge problems. Women in general have to start recognizing this as an issue. Maybe this isn't all natural biology. Maybe we are doing something wrong culturally and in terms of the environments we have created for ourselves.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 11:33 PM
1	Women do not peak in their 20s What one should do personally in this world is highly contextual. However, at a population level, women having kids (if they even have them) in their mid-to-late 30s IS a problem for various reasons. Maybe we have created conditions where it is better to pair later for some reasons, but the biology remains what it is, even with fertility technologies. It's also probably better if generations are closer to 20 years apart than 40. For grandparents to be younger, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 03:18 PM
2	Men are non chalant bc of women I don't mean to imply you are personally blaming anyone. Just expanding the conversation. Blame is often thrown at women for these things. I do think there is some blame, but it is important to be more specific.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 03:13 PM
4	Men make long term relationships unsustainable Lot's of studies show that sexual novelty is at least as important to female attraction, with different dynamics. But at the end of the day, both genders struggle to maintain sexual desire for a partner in a long term monogamous relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 02:36 PM
1	The recent Sophie Rain situation proves that the sexual revolution only benefits elite men, and does not empower women We can argue whether some parasitical men are somehow taking a bigger cut of sophie's money than is warranted. But we can't really say she hasn't benefitted herself. She's rich. We just arguing about how rich.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 02:33 PM
9	Men are non chalant bc of women Well, I do think women are to blame collectively for assuming that the pairing rates and female selectivity levels don't matter at a population level. But individual women can't fully be blamed for any culturally increased selectivity levels since these influences impact women in ways they do not fully consciously control. OFC to what extent female selectivity has gone up, and how much is culture/environment vs. biology free to manifest itself, are all open questions. More on topic, if men are s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 02:06 PM
33	Men are non chalant bc of women This ignores the elephant in the room: female attraction. What precisely are we blaming women for? If--and it is a big if--women don't find many men sufficiently attractive, why wouldn't they focus on the ones they do find attractive or just stay single?	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 01:39 PM
0	Dating is highly monopolistic for men with women only dating the same few men Female competition with one another does matter, though it isn't everything. In terms of hope for the future, the extent to which these things can be culturally mediated is an open question IMO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 11:22 AM
2	Dating is highly monopolistic for men with women only dating the same few men I think you are overdoing what is actually happening in terms of pairing rates at the population level. However, the qualitative aspect is harder to prove one way or another. Even when women do pair with a guy, how much does his standing to other men impact the relationship? Does it lead to divorce? Cheating? poor treatment? all interesting questions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 07:31 AM
0	Dating is highly monopolistic for men with women only dating the same few men This is interesting IMO. Women do have evolved instincts to be attracted to status both on a subconscious, visceral desire level and in a more conscious and calculated way. However, what constitutes desirable status definitely has an environmental and cultural component, though the biology at play probably constrains what kinds of status can be desirable to a great extent as well. Women take a lot of the environmental/cultural cues from inter-male competition, but not entirely. I would contend t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/26 07:28 AM
5	Men are coping too much about women who don't desire them That's really the key open question: how selective is female desire? How much is nature vs. nurture? Men still operate unconsciously on the beliefs behind the widespread monogamy paradigm: women are a bit more selective than men, and it is natural for women to date up. But not for women to date up in relative SMV rank by gender by all that much, and the vast majority of men can find a woman who truly desires him to a sufficient extent provided he looks within his own league. How true or not thes…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/04/26 01:59 PM
1	Men present a false narrative in dating I think mass surrogacy and egg procurement would be a dystopian nightmare. I also think that our deranged modern sensibilities and lifestyles do make pregnancy and motherhood seem all bad, heightening the downsides of female reproduction and erasing the upsides. That said, I'm not saying it is entirely equal. But I think that 'compensation' comes from a certain level of hypergamy that is actually desirable and probably inevitable. Women should mate upwards in SMV rank by gender; it's just that t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/26 03:33 PM
9	Men present a false narrative in dating The only interesting point is 'compensating for the costs of pregnancy and motherhood'. I have seen a fair number of women argue that even if a man and woman are evenly matched in every way, and he does 50/50 on everything perfectly, it's still not a good deal because she gets pregnant.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/26 07:13 AM
1	Do you think that women have responsive desire? The train will stop; it's a question of how ugly the reversal has to be. With respect to that, then the big question is whether you can structure a society and culture such that there is widespread monogamous pairing and most women don't loathe the touch of their husbands, particularly past the first 5-7 years. How culturally malleable is female selectivity? What has to happen has to happen. Societies have to function. More importantly, they have to compete with other societies. But can this be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/26 07:08 AM
2	Do you think that women have responsive desire? Yeah. The terminology and even overall theory probably needs work. I think they are on to something, though. Like basically even male desire is technically responsive for the most part. She turned him on; it just dint take a lot to do it. Part of the theory is how important feeling desired and desirable is to a woman's arousal levels. Matters to men, too, but not the same way. But the counterargument is that when a woman feels desire for a guy she finds hot right away, she acts much like a man. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 01:31 PM
1	Do you think that women have responsive desire? I have more of an academic big picture interest in gender dynamics. What any given individual should do given how things are is less interesting to me. The issue here is that if that TRP analysis is true, then it doesn't scale. There is no hope for a society that bases its mating system on as much voluntary choice based on sexual desire as possible with little social enforcement. Tons of men can never find a woman that meets these criteria.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 01:28 PM
5	Do you think that women have responsive desire? No. There is a difference, but the dynamics and size of that difference may be different for men than for women. This is a topic I don't have much certainty on. I see all the sides. Lots of open questions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 12:11 PM
3	Do you think that women have responsive desire? Sure. But then the question is whether the guy who does all that gets her to anywhere near the level of actual desire and attraction as the hot guy does? Or if she gets enough and makes do and kinda focuses on herself in bed, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 12:09 PM
1	Do you think that women have responsive desire? Yeah. That is the main objection to the responsive desire theory: is it really just that women aren't that attracted to most men. And even when she warms up or he seduces her, she is just learning to sexually make do with less desire because there is no alternative. It isn't that once warmed up she now desires her man as much as he does her. I'm not sure either. There are theories that humans evolved like accreted layers of sexual hardwiring, some if which are in tension with others. The monogam…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 12:04 PM
14	Do you think that women have responsive desire? I do believe in responsive/passive vs. active/spontaneous desire in general. But now you have brought up the point that many in the manosphere do: To what extent does the raw attractiveness of a man shift a woman on this continuum? If it does? If being really hot brings out active desire in women, then is this really a dynamic or just a case of women not being that attracted to most men? In some ways men also have this dynamic because a girl who is much less attractive than what a guy is used to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 11:53 AM
1	Men don’t care about Men Change class to any other relevant word then. Didnt put much thought into it. Don't have Marxists ideas about class or whatever. The point is that it is better for men to be thinking about society as a whole and not just men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 10:43 AM
2	Do we all really mean the same thing when we say ‘dominant’? Great topic. I do believe there are huge issues around the dominant or submissive ideas. People do probably have the wrong ideas of what is actually desired. Women have also been part of the problem because so many are reluctant to admit that the genders have different desires from their partner with respect to this. But it is gendered. Men, for their part, don't seem to get the innate tensions inside evolved female nature with respect to all this. They laugh that many women seem to want a guy w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 10:16 AM
–	Would you be willing to die alone so that maybe just maybe the next generation of men have a fighting chance at a normal dating life? You are skipping past the key open questions. For one, the recent changes in mating and dating are by no means clear, especially when you factor in that different areas and demographics may have different patterns and are trying to look at a population level. Second, even assuming the worst for the first question, this then begs the question of why? Right now, mating is on a 'desire' basis. Are cultural and environmental factors making men less attractive to women? Or is this just innate female …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 10:10 AM
0	Men don’t care about Men I think most of the men's issues are downstream of general social failures that ultimately impact both genders. Social media and the lack of local meatspace community is bad for everyone. Fertility decline and mating system issues impact men and women at the end of the day, even if you can argue who is affected more on any given point. But that is a pointless debate. These are issues with modernity, technology-induced evolutionary mismatch and a Liberal Enlightenment ethos gone off the rails bec…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 06:08 AM
1	Men don’t care about Men I don't think you actually want men looking after 'men' as a class. Men ultimately have all the power, and if you divide the society that way, women tend to fair poorly. There are other ways to handle men's issues than have men just take care of other men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 05:34 AM
–	People need to blame women more The extent to which female selectivity has increased over the past few years is an open question. But let's be clear, you can't really blame individual women that much. They feel what they feel. If selectivity is up it is either innate biology finally free to manifest or cultural and environmental influences. People don't really control that by acts of intellect. Female leaders are to blame, however, for not really discussing this and seeing it as a potentially very serious issue. That is where …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/04/26 04:15 PM
–	What if humanity is meant to slowly die out due to incompatibility? These things evolve due to the competitive pressures between societies. The modern widespread enforced monogamy paradigm is not some thing one gender just foisted on the other. It appears everywhere since the dawn of time because nothing else could compete with it. As long as technology doesnt change this underlying reality, and I havent seen evidence of that so far, then eventually this reasserts itself. Humanity won't die out. It's more a question of how required norms and expectations get rea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/04/26 12:16 PM
–	What if humanity is meant to slowly die out due to incompatibility? I agree that you have to parse hetero pairing rates from fertility rates. There is a relationship, ofc, but hard to know exactly what that is. Also agree that men only wanting casual is off base. But the idea that socially enforced monogamy itself is somehow preferential to male needs seems off base to me. Maybe some details of marriage are, as practiced in some places. But I'm not sure what the female preference would be, then? People weren't just fucking each other randomly in prehistory befor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/04/26 10:09 AM
5	Age gap relationships: Most people against them are being disingenuous I think these are all superficial reasons why people object. But if there weren't a more solid foundation for being opposed then they would go away. It's contextual. In a modern Western 2026 situation, is there any real reason for women to date significantly older? In any given situation, sure. But it can't be the overall ideal. People get over it in individual situations if they see things are all good. But typically she is over-invested in security and he in youthful beauty. This doesn't tend …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/04/26 01:22 PM
2	Women approaching men should be the norm. No. And not because of market demand imbalances or gender ratios, at least ultimately. No. In the end, there is something innate to the pursuer vs. pursued binary, on average. And social norms should likely go with the grain on this one IMO. But that doesn't mean you can't have a more fair and humane dating system despite this gender difference. However, that's a different topic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 05:56 AM
1	If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools) Not in and of themselves; but they aren't in a contextless vacuum. Tending a domestic nest vs. going out to find resources definitely can be things that the genders evolved different average proclivities for.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 05:54 AM
2	If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools) Sure. If there is legit agreement, then all is good. But IMO it is human nature to typically end up resenting such an agreement, even if one consciously thinks they can be fine with it. There's something intuitively unfair to valuing either partner's free time significantly more, even with salary differences. There may be some corner cases where this doesn't apply, but they seem relatively rare to me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 05:52 AM
2	If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools) The underlying issue is fairness. Whether one should ever expect men and women to do exactly 50/50 domestically, at a population level average, is an open and interesting question. But we CAN expect both genders to be fair and hold that as an ideal. If the man is spending equal total hours contributing at home and at work, then that can still be fair. And the best stats themselves show that this seems to be the case, anecdotes aside. Roughly equal total hours, but men do a bit more at work and w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/04/26 07:47 PM
0	It's cruel to deprive your spouse of sex and also expect monogamy from them Given that this is the implicit contract in today's world, sure, if you can't live up to it you are honor-bound to communicate. But pulling back to the bigger point about monogamy, I think a lot of people who worry about monogamy dying also leave out details. It could be that given male and female natures, the current sexual expectations are basically insane at a population level if you expect women to pair up widely with men of roughly equivalent SMV. We've based our sexual 'normality' on two h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/04/26 05:22 PM
2	Why exactly is women wanting money from men worse than men wanting sex with women This doesnt really jibe with men and women having equal economic resources and the espoused genderless equality dogma. You can't really hive off mating from 'equality'. That is peak enlightenment liberalism bullshit. It's all part of life. I'm open to more re-gendering. I think that is inevitable. But you need a coherent system that is perceived as fair to both genders overall. This will require candor from top female thought leaders that has not yet been seen.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/04/26 04:27 AM
1	Men dont being anything to the table This misses the point that social functioning seems to require nuclear families centered around hetero unions. So that has to work somehow.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 12:03 PM
10	Why exactly is women wanting money from men worse than men wanting sex with women Because the behavior is inconsistent with the messaging, and with the current ideas about gender, etc. in a world of economic equality. It isn't necessarily innately worse, but we need to be more honest about it. Men currently don't think they are using women for sex who don't enjoy the sex. Why should one side be paying if both have money?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/03/26 08:01 PM
7	You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that. Or, try to be the guy that a good woman still likes sleeping with years into a serious relationship with the novelty gone for both of you. Harder degree of diff.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/03/26 05:34 PM
3	Men are the dice of humanity and will therefore always be the majority group in both positions of power (politics, military) and positions of powerlessness (homelessness, prisons) Yeah. The need for monogamy is likely absolute unless something else is found. Religion was a key part of the social enforcement toolbox. Without it, it is unclear how monogamy is enforced again, though it likely has to be in some way. More interesting is the ways in which monogamy is enforced by religion. It can run deeper than social pressure. You may need some sort of psychological suppression of sexuality and sexual expectations of both genders to make it work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/26 10:45 PM
6	Men are the dice of humanity and will therefore always be the majority group in both positions of power (politics, military) and positions of powerlessness (homelessness, prisons) Male Variability Theory is well-known and true. But this misses the point. In terms of inter-group competition, widespread monogamy has thus far proven essential. No competing system has arisen that addresses the same essential elements. So given this, the open question is just how far the need to equalize sexual access runs against female (and to some extent male) evolved instincts.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/26 08:31 AM
1	[CMV] Aligning with Radical Feminism: Why the Logic of the Sexual Revolution Necessitates the Death of the Marriage Contract. Marriage has not lost its social utility. We have discovered no better alternative.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/03/26 03:28 AM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. Men and women can access the same research and common knowledge when talking about big patterns in gender. The men talking about women jibe goes nowhere. The point I'm trying to explore is whether widespread monogamy with ~80% pairing rates goes against innate female biological selectivity to such an extent that no amount of cultural fine tuning can compensate. Men who say they want real attraction from women often also say that if we had different economic arrangements, the pairing rates would …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/03/26 09:27 AM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. Thanks. This is the missing link in the logic I never see argued, but have suspected. Female attraction depends a lot on attitude and inclination. All the literature suggests female attraction if far more culturally and environmentally mediated than male, which is naturally simpler and more robust. I've seen women seem to find a guy attractive at a club, then when her friends laugh at the guy, and now she tries to find him unattractive, guess what? She does. So if you make men needed in women's …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/03/26 06:32 AM
1	Q4W: Where Should A Man Actually Go To Meet You? There are multiple Sexual Marketplaces. The standard one that most advice is aimed at requires a certain level of attractiveness to be in. Then you get vibes, indications of interest, flirtation, etc. Can meet women lots of places if you calibrate to your league. Some people belong in a lower tier SMP where you will have to meet people in other ways.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/26 12:01 PM
1	[Debate] The dating market framing itself is part of the problem, for both men and women Market framing is absolutely appropriate for analyzing the market in certain ways. But people shouldn't go around thinking what their SMV is or others.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 11:59 AM
–	Dating isn't fair and it shouldn't be. This assumes societies have no interest in aggregate mating results. But they do. So mating has always been regulated and fairness has been a consideration.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/03/26 10:11 AM
1	Every single women in the World, can be dated without applying money or status if you are "that guy" to her. Money and Status is ONLY needed, if a Women doesnt like you FULLY. I've heard a correlated argument to this. Essentially, the common female attraction is more focused on top smv men. But types are real, too. So while men complain about female n count or male rejection rates, if you expect women to pair up widely with men roughly at their level you need to exploit the types dynamic. That means women need to meet more men and more men need to get rejected for this to work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/03/26 02:12 AM
1	Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great. Evolution doesn't really do 'equal'. But often we can't know. But men are underperforming right now, so that could impact their qualities as partners. That said, why are men doing poorly is ofc another question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 02:01 PM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. Don't be that way. Her I thought we could have a nice discussion. Yes, no market is perfectly free. I said female reproduction is subsidized. But I also said this helps create a freer market around desire rather than need. Do you want women to pair with men more because they NEED to but aren't really attracted to them?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 10:48 AM
2	Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great. Rarely is anything equal. There are arguments to be made that women are better, but I would like to see them explicitly made and not smuggled in. You can definitely talk about one gender without whataboutisms with respect to the other. But in this case you sorta need to talk about both to establish some sort of standards as to what one means by there not being many good and attractive men out there. I personally think that in modernity we have forgotten the key lesson of history here. Unless we …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 06:37 AM
3	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. We can quibble about the details, but to the extent that is true it is because society and both genders need kids, but it is innately more expensive for women. I dunno what your take is on this, but a lot of Red Pillers confuse me on this point. They say they want women to truly be attracted to their men. Well, female income and society's subsidization of greater female reproductive costs arguably creates the first true free market based around just attraction, desire and personal compatibility.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 03:37 AM
8	Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great. Yes, because while it is fine just to focus on one gender sometimes, in this case I think you would need to look at both genders to get proper context. Like do men behave worse as partners than women? Less men who meet attraction thresholds, as well, maybe? If so, because women are pickier or men are less attractive, etc.?	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:41 PM
11	Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great. Are there more good women to choose from than good men? Not following. Also, there are correlations between some of the qualities women are biologically attracted to and 'bad' male behavior. How strong these are at scale is an open question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:35 PM
1	It’s very important that men fight against paying on the first date I'd just like to start with more honest conversations. There will be cultural norms, though they get weaker every day. But maybe men should pay as a norm, even when the genders make even money. I dunno. Needs to be open conversation and that argument should be made. Maybe courting is where men do more because in the end, even in 50/50, women have the kids and get pregnant. Not sure, but that would be an argument.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:32 PM
6	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. You need to check your prior assumptions. Ultimately, one's take on mating only works within a set of aims for mating. If you believe it is all individual choice and society has no stake or needs, then what is there to complain about? It is a free market. If women make their own money but still want men to pay, and enough men are willing because women have a bargaining advantage, OK. So what? Is what it is. Or if men can't find partners. Ditto. Or if women only date way up in SMV rank by gender,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:29 PM
2	What's your reasoning that you can actually say something to the dating life of a young men? Unless you are thinking about mating from a society point of view (which people should but most don't) then there really are no grounds for male complaints. It is a free market. Individual choice. If women have it better, they have it better. C'est la vie. That's how the market goes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 09:43 AM
0	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? Im not sure you would fit in the middle of the female distribution on this exactly. A key thing is that women generally are judging men on this, even someone like you who likes it fairly back and forth and even on the dominance/leadership front. Men are not as concerned if she is like you or more submissive. So at scale this is gonna create an imbalance.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 03:09 AM
0	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? I said women do not want to be completely dominated. There is an inner tension to this. It gets complicated. You see this in a growing number of women who want rougher, more dominant sex. But then will freak out if he is not fully egalitarian outside of the bedroom. They want bedroom alphas who leave it behind when they exit the sheets. But that isn't really realistic at scale.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 10:40 PM
2	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? It's a process. Women in academia. Influential women who discuss mating and dating and gender. Then it filters into the conversations and calculations of normal people. Into the conventional wisdom of a society.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 10:38 PM
4	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? This is not some revelation of men's eternal deep-seated desire to dominate and oppress women, always lurking just below the surface. It's about the current dating scene not meeting male expectations. Men feeling it is very different than even 20 years ago, rightly or wrongly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 10:37 PM
2	Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “. You have good points that the gender differences may be being distorted here. But clearly there are also gendered differences here at the population level worth discussing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 07:13 PM
9	Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “. The evidence on men not contributing fairly to marriages is mixed, at best.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 07:09 PM
2	Typical workday hours are just as bad for men as they are for women I agree that we are in extreme evolutionary mismatch. The life conditions forced by the need to compete materially with other polities are inhumane for everyone. It probably is not equal for the genders since rarely is anything exactly equal. But like the 'which gender is happier alone' or 'which gender is more miserable in modern life' arguments, it seems moot. Neither gender is doing well on any of these fronts. Who cares who is doing a bit worse?	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 07:08 PM
5	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? Modern Western young men are in a kind of PTSD over worries that average women aren't really that attracted to the average men the women eventually (and increasingly less often) pair with. The submission stuff is either weaponized gotcha bullshit in some misguided attempt to even up dating, or it is men thinking this arrangement is what most likely leads to the most sexual desire from women. They are naturally confused during confusing times. The real truth may be that modern sexual expectations…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 07:05 PM
3	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? I get why women don't like to be candid about these aspects of their nature. It's complicated and the worry is that men will just take the side of the meaning they want to hear. But at some point these issues need to be addressed more honestly by female thought leaders shaping the common narrative. There are a lot of women probably making bad individual choices because they don't fully understand this part of themselves.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 06:36 PM
–	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? Individuals have to do the best they can do given prevailing conditions. But polities don't aim to accept decline. Group decisions are bound by the geopolitical competition trap. Do they always work out? Hell no. But you have to try.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 06:33 PM
2	Men are right to believe their prime is later than women I suspect that in a 2026 context, the age gap has an impact on female desire regardless of how objectively good looking he is. I'm not saying there can be no desire for him at 40 from a 20 year old, just that there would have been more when he was 20.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 02:59 PM
3	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? Goes too far. But in a West where there is less classic masculinity, a lot of women are really looking for signs of it even if they are not fully aware. Some of the 'abuser' qualities can also trigger women's strength and masculinity heuristics. It's a hedonistic age where both genders probably have distorted sexual expectations and are over prioritizing raw animal attraction. It creates problems.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 10:32 AM
5	Men are right to believe their prime is later than women Then there's the issue of how much you value the woman's true raw desire. High status men can swim in 20-something women. Amateurs, and not pros. But how much is raw sexual desire compared to when they were hot and charismatic in college and getting almost as many such girls?	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 08:58 AM
18	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? No. Various political factors have suppressed honest high level discussion of these aspects of female nature and sexuality. It's complex. I do not think women all secretly yearn to have their man be completely in charge all the time. There is an inner tension to this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 08:56 AM
3	Men are right to believe their prime is later than women 'Prime' is complicated and can result in oversimplifying things to one metric. Modern politics and conditions increasingly deter age gapped relationships. Many men say that the most desirable females are young and that they want 'true burning sexual desire' from their women. So if high school and college Chad does get even more attractive in some objective sense as he ages into his 30s, but only in HS and College is he banging his soft harem of young Stacies, when is his true 'Prime'?	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 08:07 AM
38	Why are men obsessed with “submissive”women? Most men in the modern west don't care that much. But women's lack of candor about the complexity of female attitudes to submission and dominance (probably need better terms at this point) creates a situation where men kinda know the party line is bullshit, but don't really know what is actually true.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 08:02 AM
1	Women should not be asked to settle The pairing rate and stability of pairing is indeed distinct from the birthrate, though likely there is a relationship. But nobody fully understands any of this. That said, the pairing rate matters in and of itself for society for a variety of reasons. It is possible that we find some new-technology enabled mating paradigm where none of this matters and everyone can do whatever they want. I see no evidence of this, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 10:53 PM
1	Women should not be asked to settle There's no adapting to zero kids or not enough people paring up. The adaptation has to be in finding ways to have the kids and pair up.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 08:13 PM
1	Women should not be asked to settle I want as much free choice as possible. But a society also has a stake and needs when it comes to mating. The aggregate of all these free, individual choices has to fall within a certain range or the society is totally fucked. This is catastrophic for everyone, man and woman alike. This is the unavoidable reality. Hopefully, this tension is not irreconcilable and with the right culture, the free market produces results within the needed ranges.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 03:03 PM
3	Men can’t really claim to know “the truth” about female attraction Men and women can read and hear the thoughts of the opposite gender. The idea that one gender cannot sufficiently understand the other is misguided, IMO. Sure, there may be some things you cannot understand as well as someone who shares a gender, but you can get the fundamentals well enough if you try. Also, humans are not really a single unified personality under conscious control. So, yes, observed actions may not fully reveal what is consciously going on inside a woman's mind. But that inner …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 02:35 PM
1	Women should not be asked to settle We should not start any attempt to fix the mating system with asking either gender to pair with people they do not find attractive. We should begin with trying to get widespread monogamy working better, with higher stabler pairing rates, but with couples who are attracted to one another. Of course, whether this is possible is an open question. Should it prove impossible, then a society would face very hard questions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 02:11 AM
2	single moms are honestly great and have no problem getting a “good guy” Yes, men weaponized this issue as part of a misguided attempt to 'even the playing field' between the genders. On an individual level, single moms can be great. There are challenges, but there is nothing wrong with helping raise another man's child. It may even be noble at times. But the disgruntled single-mother haters are right that any mating system that leads to too many men raising other men's kids is bad. It is likely bad in and of itself, and it likely doesn't strike a fair gender balance…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 02:08 AM
1	The redpill want women who “say they want a good man but dont mean it”. Most of these things like 'tingles' are on a continuum. So it gets complicated. And yeah, I agree that for a higher resolution analysis, 'average' is too vague. But there are women who just don't feel that much desire for sex with the guys they can land at age 30+. People get angry if they go Cat Lady. They get angry if they marry and aren't super horny for their partner. They feel like they cannot win.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 04:34 PM
–	Why do most guys say their ideal woman is a "good girl" (sweet, loyal, low body count, not super party-oriented)? Is it genuine or just what sounds good? Both genders view male and female sexual purity differently. This is evolved into us. However, this instinct is highly mediated by culture and environment. It is contextual to a great extent. Not every culture prized female virginity, for example. Many men are weaponizing this basic gender asymmetry and exaggerating the strength of the impulse for political reasons. In say a NE USA context, sure, a woman can get known as a slut and it will drop her value as a partner. But if she is at all discre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 04:13 PM
1	The redpill want women who “say they want a good man but dont mean it”. I think your analysis is missing some factors. While greatly abated relative to other times, there is still pressure to pair up for various reasons other than sexual attraction and hedonistic enjoyment of sex. Could be social, religious, economic or just a desire to have a family, etc. The extent to which average guys give average girls 'tingles' is an open question IMO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 04:08 PM
1	Why is it always semantics and not the argument itself? It can be tough, but trying to see past the words is the path to wisdom IMO. It's not a court case. There is no reward for just 'winning' based on the words themselves. I also agree that what men mean when they complain about being sexually excluded is complicated. It isn't always (or even mostly) about being horny.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 02:51 PM
2	Why is it always semantics and not the argument itself? I think there are fairly strong gendered patterns in terms of argumentation styles, strengths and weaknesses. I wouldn't frame it as semantics, or not, though. I think both genders here often get lost in semantics because many are here just to argue and enjoy that as a sort of sport. They aren't really invested in trying to improve their mental maps of the truth through collaboration with others; or if they are, they don't think this is the place to do it. This is for the lulz.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 08:47 AM
3	The redpill want women who “say they want a good man but dont mean it”. Underneath it all, many modern men are a bit traumatized. They don't know what to think. They fear that for women moreso than with men, the 'quality' of a sex partner has an enormous effect. And they fear that this 'quality' is not primarily about how hard he tries of how much he cares, but how good looking and confident and classically masculine he is. Thus the underlying fear isn't even that they aren't the best their partner ever had or whatever. But more that she has had sexual encounters th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 11:37 PM
0	Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to. The important thing is that these types of conversations happen under the aegis of the common understanding that societies still have needs with respect to the aggregate results of these (now) individual mating decisions. There is room for good debate about what those needs are exactly, how to meet them, whether we are currently in danger of not doing so, and so on.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/03/26 11:06 AM
-1	Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to. Yes. Though of course if some other approach that is better is found that would change the game.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/03/26 09:05 AM
-1	Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to. This is something like the best adapted attitude to have on an individual level given current realities; but it ignores the elephant in the room. Society still has certain needs, and norms to support the meeting of this need typically evolve. Thinking in terms of deserving something is a bad mindset, yes. But a lot of what the OP describes is vestigial of norms that evolved to support the widespread monogamy paradigm. Almost everyone was indeed supposed to pair up. There was an element of duty t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/03/26 08:52 AM
0	"I'm not going to date anyone I'm not attracted to, even if I die alone" The OP is hard to follow in terms of what to debate. I can't know what the best move is for everyone else in the world we are in. Don't hate the playa; hate the game. The retardation is at the macro level. It is insane to think that the aggregate results of individual mating choices do not matter: "As long as it is free individual choice, whatever it adds up to is fine." No. No it isn't. Obviously.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 08:27 PM
–	Ladies, If you’re not attracted to 90-95% of men, that’s not a male problem.. thats a YOU problem Sure, on an individual level in the world we live in, that is how one has to approach it. But surely we can all agree that on an aggregate level the mating dynamics do matter to society.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 06:20 PM
–	Ladies, If you’re not attracted to 90-95% of men, that’s not a male problem.. thats a YOU problem This is not necessarily an individual problem. Culture and environment do impact sexual selectivity, but most of the influences are pre-conscious. It is hard to undo them on an individual level just by intellectually understanding that your attraction thresholds are making it hard for you to find a partner. And of course the interaction with biology is always going to have an element of mystery. The nightmare scenario would be something like women having ALWAYS been like this--this level of sele…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 04:44 PM
2	Most women screen for vanity metrics, not true compatibility Male status is directly wired into female attraction centers. Given we are in such incredible evolutionary mismatch, women's heuristics do get strained and I'd say they are indeed miscalibrated for their own happiness. But this is not an easy fix. It isn't something the individual woman can usually do on her own: we are all products of our culture and environment. But without changing that, female heuristics looking for status in males will latch on to what they latch onto, and asking the indivi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 12:47 AM
4	Most women screen for vanity metrics, not true compatibility Yeah, I agree that the OP is missing the complexity here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 12:41 AM
–	Why don’t men have a body positivity movement? Body positivity is basically gaslighting yourself and demanding everyone else play along. It is bullshit. It's one thing to say you are still attractive overall despite being say fat, but when you start to say you are beautiful BECAUSE you are fat, you cross over into crazy town. There are legit body image issues for both genders. There are unrealistic beauty standards. But they aren't primarily the result of some confusion about what is or is not beautiful. It is precisely because the perfect b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 10:39 AM
2	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? Societies and polities are trapped in a state of endless material geopolitical competition. If you fall too far behind, you are fucked. You can't just do whatever you wanna do and continue to thrive or even survive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 11:08 PM
3	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? Hypergamy is clearly pointing to a different in male and female mating patterns. But it's a specific kind of thing. It's not really just about money, as there was no money in the stone age. And it certainly isn't this bullshit I hear about marrying an overall superior person: who can calculate that? It isn't bad or good. The issue is that it creates tension with a widespread monogamy paradigm because if women date upwards in SMV-rank by gender to too great a degree as an effect of the hypergamy …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 04:14 PM
1	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? Well, enforced monogamy tends to end up limiting dating as well, or did in the past. There were chaperones, etc. There was psychological suppression of sexuality to try to make it less of a priority and so on. This is just all interesting speculation of course. No idea how re-enforcing monogamy would go in modern times.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 03:35 PM
9	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? I want to add a second point. The ultimate issue is that a society needs a functioning mating and child creation and raising paradigm. It seems monogamy is it since I see no equally functional replacement. So in some ways it is a systems problem and shouldn't be about blaming anyone. Everyone, man or woman, loses if society fails. Hypergamy is pointing at something real, but not in love with any of the current articulations of what it is. I also don't think it is some fixed 80/20. I also think t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 02:29 PM
0	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? Yeah, well some people are dumb. Not sure how you target women specifically in this without re-enforcing monogamy in general.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 02:16 PM
-1	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? sure. and often the lovers baby could be passed off as the husband's if you are married. But still riskier game for women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 02:15 PM
3	If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women? This is how it was done. Socially (and often to some extent legally) enforced monogamy. But not sure how many men or women in 2026 are into that--current enforcement is at an all-time low and dropping. Plus, women complained at the double standard: powerful men tended to find ways to get around it to some extent, though enforcement kept that in check to varying degrees. It is pretty hard to police the most powerful people in a society and for various reasons those tend to be men. This would stil…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 01:52 PM
2	Is it common for you and your friends to suddenly lose interest in men? At what stage of things are they ghosting? If early, could it be they are entertaining multiple possible guys online and then chose someone other than you to advance to the next stage with? Not so much you got rejected as didn't win the audition round.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 08:24 AM
3	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. Yeah. 100% pairing rates are not even necessarily optimal. NW Europe saw ~20-25% of women never marry for hundreds of years as it was becoming the most advanced civ ever. But clearly some level of pairing is too low, whatever that is. I think various aspects of modernity do sedate mateless men putting off the violence. This is the Male Sedation Hypotheses. But it seems likely that at some point violence does ensue. It's not an incel revolution per se--peasant rebellions get crushed. Rather, one …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 04:24 PM
0	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. I don't think is necessarily true. There are a lot of issues with that data set IMO. And besides, men could accurately rate women relative to one another and still be less attracted to to a lot of them than they would have been without digital exposure to countless examples of top female bodies.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:40 PM
10	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. Yeah, that's why this conversation getting too bogged down in semantics over the binary of whether men have in-group bias or not is sorta pointless. Both genders have biases, but the overall patterns are different. Better to just look at them for what they are and compare.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:26 PM
1	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. Well, it's hard to judge other periods and times. But above all, societies need high pairing rates. People must pair widely.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 10:57 AM
2	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. In this world, 4 and 9 pairing seems unlikely. Maybe in another time or place, I dunno.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 10:47 AM
–	The idea that a guy is morally obliged to date an old chick just because he’s old is regarded Cultural norms by their nature tend to be overarching rules aimed at what is typical and not the exceptions. They simplify things. The underlying, more nuanced truth is that there is nothing innately wrong with age gaps. But take a look at the dynamics of most Old Guy - Young Girl relationships. They usually are not very healthy. Throw out the Marxist one-way power differential and exploitation bullshit. Often the girl is doing her own bit of exploiting and the power dynamics are complicated. Bu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 07:52 AM
2	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. Our selectivity and desire clearly scale to our own levels, to some extent. But not perfectly. The dynamics of this, how it happens, why, etc. are quite interesting and I haven't really been able to find good material on it. But I think these guys are somewhat outliers. My experience is that even in couples with great relationships and some degree of mutual attraction, the lust/love mix is different between the good looking ones and the less good looking ones, on average.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 05:57 AM
4	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. Individual variance is always high. Humans always have exceptions to every rule. But at a population level, I suspect there are strong patterns here. Our sexual expectations seem calibrated to the young and beautiful, and that may not be possible to achieve for most. Moreover, this may not even be the 'ideal' that even those who can achieve it want to aim at. It's not that sex and mutual desire are not important, but I think the modern beliefs around them may be totally messed up. What the right…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 05:39 AM
6	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. That makes sense. The sexual dynamics between you and some guy you pair with might be different than if you were both 9s, but not necessarily strictly worse. Just different. But I think a lot of people are now believing that it must be like the way we see on TV between two hotties for it to be 'real'.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 05:01 AM
10	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. I do think the digital world has increased standards for both genders. It seems impossible to me that repeated exposure to the most perfectly-looking people (and now even super-perfect) would have no effect. I suspect this has impacted women more given they are innately more selective, but I feel people are not looking at the impact on men as much as they should. This is partially because men are less discriminate and will still go after and sleep with women who they are not that attracted to. B…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 04:42 AM
–	No matter what, Looks determine everything in dating (unless you have no choice) Fair. I guess it just needs more nuance about the looks are all that matters so that it goes from just being inaccurate to say useful hyperbole. One example might be that while women still do calibrate who they go after or reciprocate with to their own attractiveness, we all may have some new sexual expectations calibrated to 'the beautiful people'. A middling attractive guy can still get interest from equivalent women, but perhaps he is holding out for the kind of immediate desire that a hot gu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 04:18 AM
–	No matter what, Looks determine everything in dating (unless you have no choice) This thread likely gets deleted fast as it exemplifies the issue with the Black Pill: it exaggerates the importance of looks. There are good arguments to be made about the increasing importance of physical appearance and the impact this has. But when you say 'looks are everything' you go too far. It's just wrong and eliminates any room for actually interesting discussion about the importance of looks.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 03:53 AM
29	Men shouldn't approach women unless the woman has "genuine desire" for the man. I don't think this advice scales well. The truth is that two 4s are probably not as attracted to one another as two 9s. There may even be some gender asymmetry in that the further down the SMV hierarchy you go, even with evenly matched couples, the female attraction wanes more than the male even if it is diminished for both. If you are not Chad and you expect to get treated like Chad you may be running your head into a brick wall of reality over and over. Given modern conditions, there is probab…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 03:50 AM
2	Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoes There is an asymmetry in how humans feel about male and female sexual purity. It is based in biology and BOTH genders have this instinct. That said, the instinct is exaggerated by a lot of men these days as part of some misguided attempt to balance out the SMP. There is a TON of cultural and environmental mediation. By no means did every culture prize female virginity that much. The threshold for 'too much promiscuity or sexual impurity' can vary a lot. Given the context of the modern West, most…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 03:43 AM
–	Do you as a man want a financial equal partner? You are making a classic mistake that ideas that served in the caveman era can just be dismissed because they no longer serve now. But evolution takes a long time to catch up to cultural and environmental changes. This theory is called evolutionary mismatch: the idea that most of our evolved instincts are still primarily adapted to the stone age given that it was technologically fairly static, and humans spent the vast majority of our evolution in that period. Evolution creates gendered feedback…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 02:24 AM
1	The mere act of being a woman is a moral failing. What does it mean for a woman to be moral ? These assumptions we are meant to work with here are not really TRP. They exist in some cultures and periods, but they are not that prevalent in the modern West. So it is really hard to answer if we have to assume these basic priors. You could look at Christianity in some of its forms, especially earlier. It believes that both genders had original sin, but women had a unique portion. But even then, there were ways for women to be less or more moral. Some were a bit different than what applied to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 02:13 AM
0	If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates. Obviously the no pay before sex angle is a poor way to think about this, much less go about it. It would be nice if more women could be more honest about why men should pay in a time of gender equality, when women earn as much as men, etc. There is an obvious tension here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 05:12 PM
2	This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too. I think what you quote are downstream of far more significant gendered differences. But yeah, genderlessness can't happen. A lot of these things are managed more at the cultural level than the individual, but both matter. And right now Western society is in a pretty individualistic phase, so managing things culturally is difficult. I mainly object to the implicit idea in the OP--seen in many places--that humans can just 'understand' something and then decide to change it. We can do anything, be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 12:09 PM
6	This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too. I think you are on the right track, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. The asymmetry will always exist. Must exist. So it is more a matter of managing it as best we can culturally and individually than ever thinking it can go away. Things can be equal and fair without being identical.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 11:39 AM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. She's dating a man on her level when they are both young, and using unbridled market forces to determine the level. There's much less consideration for how those levels would be over a lifetime, and no transmission mechanism for the wisdom of the old to the young. But if history is any judge, societies can't work like this for long. You need a functional mating and family creation paradigm, which has long been widespread monogamy. Given that men and women are fairly equal in capabilities, if you…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 07:42 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. Women do and always have dated 'up' by SMV Rank within the respective genders. Partly it's a function of stronger male desire with less selectivity, so in any free marketplace, whoever wants it more has to pay more in a negotiation. The fact that, all other things being equal, women have to have the babies is also a factor. But the system has to work at a population level somehow. Culture has to constrain this female bargaining advantage because if it has a runaway effect then widespread monogam…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:14 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 whoa. was he in on it? was it a fake marriage or did he think it was real?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 12:33 PM
3	Almost all women in the developed world are dating men out of their league There's a valid point somewhere in here, but filtering out the garbage to find it doesn't seem worth it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 12:24 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. This is true, but at some point it gets frustrating when women make this point on a sub that in theory is supposed to be about a deeper analysis of the issues. What is the underlying issue impeding say a 50th percentile female SMV 'average' woman from pairing with a 50th percentile male SMV man? Are men not working as hard at life as women? Not innately attractive enough? Prioritizing their efforts the wrong way?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 12:16 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. Yes. This is what happens when something becomes polarized and tribal. Men are Wonderful and Women are Wonderful do not currently have the same impact or effect in the real world, but in a lot of Reddit spaces (and elsewhere) people are picking teams and arguing their side. I don't like it, but is what it is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 12:09 PM
1	Marriage is a substitute for love. Marriage is at least as much about the community as the two people getting married.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 11:59 AM
1	Men need to take charge and make most of the decisions in a relationship Biology, culture and the broader environment always interact in complex ways. There is mystery here. This is why I avoid overly broad and overly specific or strong gender generalizations. Of course money is less important as women need less of a man's to survive, and as the cultural focus of relationships becomes increasingly sexual and about desire and attraction. Whatever the female hardwiring is, it isn't precisely for resources any ways since there were none in prehistory. Resources is some …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:57 PM
3	Is there a reason people think relationships require a heirarchy or "structure"? For the same reason most organizations require a hierarchy: There is stuff that has to happen, and a hierarchy of some kind is the most effective organizational structure. But families and family obligations are weakening--often there is not even a nuclear family, just a couple. And there is no way to have hierarchy without elevating one gender over the other formally in some respects, which neither gender can stand in 2026. So it is pretty much a moot question. Without de jure and de facto back…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:10 PM
0	Men need to take charge and make most of the decisions in a relationship Some of the conventional wisdom about gender is not true. Some is true, but almost all cultural. An asymmetry about these traits, however, is obviously true and obviously rooted in biology. But this is a general asymmetry. Details vary by individual, and even the generalized details are big open questions. You are getting into the details, but focusing to much on yourself (you are not average IMO), and presenting extreme positions as being my own. They are not. Wise men have always valued compet…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:03 PM
–	Most women are NOT happy being single Nothing will ever be equal, so which gender is happier, or less unhappy, is an open question. Not necessarily an important one, mind you. Both genders are better off partnered, in general. In addition, society itself needs this, and if society fails, life sucks for everyone. The real issue is attraction. I believe work/life balance, childcare and chores balance, etc. are issues, but not that decisive in terms of pairing rates. The real problem is that a lot of women, especially young women, do n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 03:24 PM
0	Men need to take charge and make most of the decisions in a relationship There are always feedback loops. I think female preferences are the primary driver, but men also enforce gendered expectations that arise. I'm giving 'the gun is always loaded' types of advice. There are always exceptions, but your odds are not good. And yeah, even if she is an exception, the men around you might not be. There is clearly a gender asymmetry rooted in evolution and biology with respect to preferences for these high agency traits in a partner. The extent of this asymmetry, how much…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 03:15 PM
0	Men need to take charge and make most of the decisions in a relationship When both people can leave at any time and split assets and custody 50/50, there simply can be no 'captain'. Even if one person decides to let the other be the Captain, it's an illusion since they can change their mind at any time. Both people have a veto. ALWAYS. Sure, this is not super efficient in some ways. One boat. Two captains. Etc. But that is simply the unchangeable reality of things. I believe most women want a man who will be prepared to make any and all calls himself if needs be. He …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 02:02 PM
–	Regarding "good shy guys", when you think about the world, do you feel like people are generally good or generally bad? At a population level, there will be correlations between what women find viscerally attractive and certain personality traits, some positive and some negative. But on an individual level, shy guys can be bad and extroverted guys can be good. These correlations are not that statistically strong.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 12:28 PM
–	Women are not attracted to men and all major sides of the gender wars already lend support to the notion Obviously the OP goes too far. But it is an open question of how selective women are, at scale. How much is biology and how much is culture. It is interesting that the Victorians (and others) did try to suppress female sexuality, even deny it in some ways. Why? Was there an implicit understanding (maybe not even conscious) that the widespread monogamy paradigm requires suppression of female sexuality and selectivity to work? And since in NW Europe women were more free, that meant a psychological…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 07:45 AM
1	Online dating is “broken” but somehow millions of people are dating 🤔 I identified the key question. It doesn't matter what dating apps think they are intended for or not. But yes, one has to run the counterfactual. Maybe dating apps are net-net helping sustain the mating paradigm and that without them, given current conditions, the pairing rates would be even lower. Of course, beyond pairing rates, there are other issues such as overall psychological impact. But in a wider context, if everything is social media these days, and it all does damage, singling out dat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 02:15 AM
1	Online dating is “broken” but somehow millions of people are dating 🤔 All societies have needs with respect to mating and family formation. Thus far, the widespread monogamy paradigm is the best way to meet these needs. Ultimately, dating apps work or don't work to the extent they support this mating paradigm unless some new alternative is found. That some people--even the majority--are still dating is by no means sufficient for the monogamy system to be healthy. Do dating apps support a high and stable hetero pairing rate compared to the alternative or not?	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 02:03 AM
2	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. You and I usually come at these things from opposite ends: individual lens vs. big picture. I agree with you that if you care about your sex life you gotta make sure your partner feels the same and you both understand maintaining it takes work. But in the bigger picture, this may not be something that can work out on average as the conventional narrative says it can. We will see. All TRP hyperbole aside, exactly how attracted to the men she can land an average woman is in 2026 is hard to say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 04:44 PM
4	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. I don't like to say 'RP says this' or 'RP says that' since it's all over the place these days. But in general there may be issues with everyone's modern sexual expectations and reality. The modern narrative is that well over the majority of people should have regular, mutually enthusiastic sex lives from sexual maturity until near death. 'Healthy' long term relationships should feature regular and active sex lives with no real 'duty' sex. But is this really possible at scale?	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 02:50 PM
3	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. Yeah, as they say, nature holds nurture on a leash--and you never get to know exactly how long that leash is. Part of the issue now is that we have almost unmediated female choice in mates in the West, and this is a new thing to adjust to. Moreover, women choose when young but often what they want when young does not match up well with what they will want when older or what makes a good long term partner. There is less variance in male preferences by age. It's not an issue of right or wrong, goo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 01:58 PM
1	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. There was always a reproductive success contest. But this didn't mean that men in all cultures awarded one another the same extent of status for being sexually desirable to women on a primal level, or for being good in bed and giving her orgasms and such. The details of the contest can vary.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 01:24 PM
1	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. I generally believe in evolutionary mismatch theory. The bulk of our sexual hardwiring is calibrated for the stone age. There were no resources that could be accumulated. Sometimes women are in their conscious, calculating mode and choosing money because money makes life easier. But when we are talking about the unconscious--how does money make a man actually sexier--it's different. Money is an imperfect marker for status, competence, ability to protect and provide for wife and offspring, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 12:19 PM
1	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. Over long time scales, nurture and nature form feedback loops via evolution. The preference for resources is now hardwired in, and not that dependent on whether she is marrying or sport fucking exactly. Of course, in terms of the hardwiring, the female preference isnt exactly for resources per se, but something upwind of that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 11:08 AM
0	Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating Average is too vague to mean anything here. Common dating advice is indeed aimed at men who are attractive enough they can generate interest in women of their own SMV rank provided those men don't shoot too highly. That has never been the entire sexual marketplace, just the mainstream. It is an open question what % of the total SMP is this classic mainstream. Can a 40th percentile man in SMV rank land say a 35% girl, or would she rather just opt out than accept what she can land?	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 11:06 AM
0	If TRP wasn’t true, there wouldn’t be such immediate resistance to and censorship of it Due to political correctness, TRP provided the only available access to evolutionary psych, which is clearly the best way to be thinking about these issues from a theoretical framework. But the need to monetize quickly distorted a lot of TRP. TRP is broadly accurate, and more true than Blue Pill. But there is a lot that goes under the TRP banner that is bullshit, as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 11:03 AM
1	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. Sure. Humans always establish gendered norms and expectations. How strong they are varies, ofc. Women are also innately more hive-mindish than men in general, due to biology. Women valuing resources in men more than the other way around, though, is basically evolution at its base. May be some hive mind effects in terms of how that is culturally mediated at any given time.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 11:00 AM
0	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. I dont like to get bogged down in semantics when possible, but in this case I'm not really sure what the difference is between hive mind and gendered evolved instincts.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 10:43 AM
4	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. Yeah. Culture definitely matters. I think there are lots of gendered effects, including those relation to group think, that are based partially in biology. But it is indeed complicated.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 10:40 AM
16	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. It's true we are still chimps, and gendered chimps at that. So hive mind effects are natural. But when you get into specifics, culture and environment play a role. As an example, how men feel about why women sleep with them, how desirous women are of them, etc. is complicated. In some culture, men don't care AT ALL. In modern culture, men do care. But whether men care because they truly care, or because modernity has turned this into a male status contest is hard to say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 10:04 AM
1	Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far. No. It is not that simple. There is a responsive vs. spontaneous sexuality divide between the genders that is not just all on the same libido and selectivity dimension. This is a real thing. I think the concept can be refined better, but it's not all bullshit.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/02/26 08:39 AM
3	Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far. I don't trust the social sciences much myself. But I think they are pointing at something real with the responsive desire theories, even if the model is not perfect. There's another dimension to male/female sexual desire differences than just strength of libido and selectivity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/02/26 01:45 AM
7	Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far. This is a fairly common redpill argument against the responsive vs. spontaneous sexuality model, basically saying the model is bullshit and it is just about desire levels, i.e. even men have 'responsive' sexuality around a girl they are borderline attracted to at best. But that goes too far. I do believe that desire levels will shift a woman somewhat from responsive to active, depending on the woman. But some women are just more responsive than spontaneous. Moreover, even if burning raw desire c…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/26 09:22 PM
–	"Dating for men is so easy. You have to be normal" Is one of the most cringe and false statements of all time I have a lot of sympathy for guys who are struggling. There's enough evidence that dating is fucked up to warrant concern, and for dismissing anyone complaining as 'just a loser' to be uncalled for. But the data seems muddy as to the exact state of affairs in the 2026 mating game. Saying things like 'women find most men boring' is too vague to be helpful in any real analysis.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/02/26 03:18 PM
5	GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes. Well we also didnt have the Internet where both genders can hear the locker room talk of the other, unfiltered. Ideally, people should be able to leave bad relationships or reject who they aren't attracted to. At the same time, societies have needs. Unless we figure out a new paradigm, widespread monogamy requires a certain minimum pairing rate to function. It needs a certain amount of stability. Past societies were not needlessly cruel all the time. They forced couples together even when it was…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/02/26 08:03 PM
2	GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes. It's complex. Men and women are different. Women are innately more selective than men biologically, regardless of who has what options. But yeah, more options and being used to a certain standard increase selectivity in either gender beyond the biological baseline, so they increase the effect of icks. But regardless of status or options, men don't become women or vice versa.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/02/26 07:59 PM
5	GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes. The genders weren't really exposed to these kinds of thoughts from the opposite gender so much before. Each gender is having trouble dealing with it. Men get icks too. But since men are generally less selective, the icks are less of a big deal. But, and while still not at female levels, the kind of highly desired men with lots of options that a lot of women would ideally like to be with do get stronger icks.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/02/26 05:52 PM
4	GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes. I dunno about that	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/02/26 05:49 PM
2	Can women truly love? We all have our base animal instincts. There are strong gendered patterns to them, but also a lot of overlap. Love is real and exists in the space that consciousness creates around these instincts. We never fully transcend the evolved chimp-brain tendencies, but nor are we fully bound by them. There is always a tension there.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/26 05:44 AM
–	Do you think an ugly celebrity could marry a model without causing a dead bedroom? There is a nurture/environment aspect to this. It is by no means all biology. So a lot depends on the environment. In 2026 where looks and sex and attraction are all pushed by the internet the way they are, then it is less and less likely that a really hot person can find an ugly person sexually attractive. In a different timeline, this might be different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/26 12:39 PM
3	Women do not understand deductive reasoning Women are capable of any logic men are capable of; it is more a question of inclination. I would say that women, typically unconsciously or semi-consciously, have come to the 'logical' conclusion that emotions are (a) not perfectly controllable and (b) take a lot of effort to override when you can, so you cannot fight every battle. Thus, based on this, the female inclination is that you do need aspects of white lies and even self-deception to manage emotions successfully. The guy that says they …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/26 12:30 PM
4	Do you think you are good at recognizing other women's enjoyment in erotic content? Porn is much more varied nowadays. There is certainly still mainstream studio porn where almost everything is fake. There is also plenty of porn with real pleasure and orgasms. It will be hard to get a good answer here because the respondent may be talking about a porn world that is very different than your porn world.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/02/26 11:27 AM
1	Women tend to be more selective in partner choice than men — and it’s not a moral failing I think we need less socialization. We are oversocialized. We will return to stronger gender roles, but never roll back the clock since technology is always advancing. Conditions always changing. As for constraining female selectivity, it has been done before. But this put pressure to choose men who maybe they didn't feel attracted to. Nobody today wants that. I guess we will see if widespread monogamy with husbands women desire is possible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/26 10:28 AM
4	What are ways (besides sleeping with him on the first date) that a woman can prove she's as attracted to her current partner as she was to her exes? Yes, but this had to do with who got which girls when. There wasn't this question of whether the girls you did eventually get found sex with you to be a pale imitation of what sex with a hotter guy was like. This is new, and naturally making guys neurotic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 08:18 PM
7	Women tend to be more selective in partner choice than men — and it’s not a moral failing At the end of the day, civilizations and polities have to compete with another. If you cannot keep up, you die. A society's mating and family formation structure has always been essential to its overall functioning and competitiveness. So above all, the mating system has to work sufficiently well. That is the ultimate necessity. If modern technology now means we can craft some new mating system that will still allow us to compete, then great. That can be talked about. But I see no such alternati…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 08:16 PM
3	What are ways (besides sleeping with him on the first date) that a woman can prove she's as attracted to her current partner as she was to her exes? One has to have some sympathy for young guys today. This stuff is being messaged to them, and the exact level of truth to it remains unclear. As for stuff one did in the past, there's no perfect answer here. Partly, it depends on the reason behind why she did it in the past and doesn't want to do it now. Chances are the guy isn't that into doing it now, either, if it isn't some core sexual act like oral or intercourse. But it will naturally sew the seeds of doubt in today's environment. If she w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 07:24 PM
5	What are ways (besides sleeping with him on the first date) that a woman can prove she's as attracted to her current partner as she was to her exes? I think that to some extent you just have to create conditions where the question goes away. If the woman is enthusiastic and proactive sexually, and isn't not doing things with her BF that he knows she has done before somehow, then I think most guys worth keeping will stop really thinking about it. The real worry is that sex with Chad is somehow some sort of fundamentally different and more exciting experience than sex with him, not really about whether you are more attractive or desirable in e…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 07:05 PM
14	Women tend to be more selective in partner choice than men — and it’s not a moral failing I think everyone informed and sane understands that women are innately more selective on a biological level. But the question is 'how much more selective?' There is a strong cultural and environmental aspect to this as well. Any evaluation of the morality of things has to account for necessity and the response to it. A great deal of male objection to high female standards is that the women seem to be leaning into them. And the male moral judgments are rooted in a tradition of widespread monogamy…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 06:56 PM
–	Women don't owe you explanation of their standards. I'm just saying that one cannot assume 'everyone does what they want chasing individual desire and compatibility' is some sort of default setting. This is not normal, historically. So if one is arguing for that, then they are also arguing that this will produce aggregate results that fall within a range societies need to function and compete with other societies. Or that they don't care and these individual rights are so fundamental that if they end up being a civilizational suicide pact, so be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 04:11 PM
–	Women don't owe you explanation of their standards. Every society has policed and influenced mating outcomes at scale. Ours still does, but does so less and less every day. It is far from clear that this approach will in fact lead to aggregate outcomes that work sufficiently well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 04:02 PM
–	Women don't owe you explanation of their standards. No. But that never happened. However, at the end of the day, the mating system has to work. Everyone is a citizen. So how do you want to go about that?	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 03:53 PM
–	Women don't owe you explanation of their standards. It's not even about an ideal system. We are products of cultures with long histories of widespread marriage and monogamy. Conscious of it or not, a lot of male complaints about female standards are rooted in this. They are rooted in a sense of fairness that is based on the idea that we all have some individual obligation to make the monogamous mating system work at a broader scale. So too many individual women at least seeming to have unapologetically high standards upsets this monogamy-based se…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 03:43 PM
4	People say “demisexual” when they’re really describing the normal sexuality of a typical female I agree that the term demisexual is being used inaccurately here, but the broader point remains worthy of discussion, with amended terminology. It is worth noting that even if demisexuality is not coextensive with female sexuality, it does seem to crop up a lot more in females than males. Assuming, of course, one even finds the term 'demisexual' useful at all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 03:38 PM
–	Women don't owe you explanation of their standards. It depends on the context. In the current world, nobody owes anyone an explanation for their personal standards--though if they involve a level of delusion about one's prospects, one should not expect the world to play along with their fantasy. But there is also a mating system that has to function. And culture and environment do impact standards and desire thresholds. So if engaged in a discussion about mating at a societal level, one does owe other participants an explanation of how they think…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 03:29 PM
1	The Concept of “Leagues” in Dating Doesn’t Make Sense Leagues do exist, but that doesn't mean exceptions don't happen all the time. Moreover, just like in other things, there can be different perspectives on value. There's free-market, leagues are what you can get value. And there's also our intuitive sense of fairness and value based on a culture of monogamy and expectation of relationships. Free markets can get deranged.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 07:11 PM
9	What do you wish women would understand about dating women? Individual variance is high. AWALT was never meant to be taken literally. It is more like 'the Gun is always loaded' kinda warning. So yeah, in general, appearing strong is always a good idea. But of course SOME women are different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 07:05 PM
–	The ugly truth is that both feminism and the Red Pill are correct I don't have a full definition. It is pointing at the the tendency for women to date across and upwards by various metrics. But some of that is cultural: if men generally have higher status in a culture, for example, then dating your status equal is actually dating down in a 1 to 1 monogamous system. Furthermore, if women have less raw desire for sex and such, then their bargaining position is just higher in a free market, so this would also manifest as dating upwards because in any free deal, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 11:35 PM
1	A woman below the top-tier can either have Chad or have exclusivity, but not both The ultimate issue is attraction. Even if it is not really biology and the modern culture and environment have amped women's standards such that many women cannot really desire a guy on their own SMV level, that is what it is. You don't easily undo those influences just by intellectually realizing them. So what if a female 6 simply only feels enough desire for male 8s and above? Even if she understands her chances of landing a 8 for real LTR are low, that may mean she just plays the pump and dum…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 04:50 PM
6	Interpretations of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs highlights a disconnect between the level of importance men and women place on sex I think this deep dive illustrates why the entire sex as a need framing ultimately fails. You get into semantics that go nowhere. And the key factors are not in the model. It matters that sex is prerequisite for intimate, hetero relationships and all that can entail. How much the culture and environment are titillating people matters. How much status is heaped on sexual success matters. Etc. A lot of it is status. Sex and then hetero marriage or equivalent was the high status, adult thing for ma…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 04:42 PM
–	The ugly truth is that both feminism and the Red Pill are correct Because even if you disagree with most hypergamy theory, what they are really asking about is evolved mating preferences for the genders. So call it whatever you want. But presumably you would have a take on that unless you are a social constructionist who thinks it is all about culture.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 04:31 PM
–	The ugly truth is that both feminism and the Red Pill are correct It's annoying. I think TRP hypergamy theory is far from perfect. Academics have had trouble being in the game due to political correctness, which is changing but slowly. There's room for real improvement on our evolved mate selection psychology ideas if top women would get in the game and help out with honesty and candor. Hypergamy, or whatever you want to call what it is pointing at, isn't even necessarily bad. It's more that women seem to reject gender systematizing or generalizing altogether,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 02:59 PM
–	The ugly truth is that both feminism and the Red Pill are correct It's funny that rather than help craft a more refined definition (and possibly even term) for what Hypergamy is pointing at, women just say it is not real. No psychological differences between the sexes at scale. Nothing that has to do with mating. Women and men are all just individuals. Special snowflakes one and all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 09:35 AM
3	Men are biologically privileged and should stop whining that women are privileged I think the genders should start by acknowledging the different areas where each gender has it easier or harder before trying to do the math of which gender is more advantaged overall, in life or in some specific area like 'dating'. Women do face more medical challenges related to reproduction. Men face more rejection. Sex is more dangerous for women. There is a male burden of performance in mating that is in tension with egalitarianism everywhere else. Etc. How one would value each of these fac…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/01/26 01:55 PM
2	If she wants you, the sex doesn't matter I thought there was an interesting and legitimate discussion to be had here, but it got sidetracked by the OP being too dogmatic and extreme about it. Obviously, being bad at sex can make a fair number of girls drop a guy. Perhaps it works indirectly and the women lose desire for him, or maybe they still desire him but just override because the sex is bad. However, it definitely is true that I have seen a lot of women go back to bad sex with a hot guy. Perhaps there is a misestimation of desire …	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/01/26 01:46 PM
1	Equality between genders should always be strived for, but perfect equality can never fully exist in reality due to unavoidable biological differences Many biological differences mean the idea of a non-gendered society is impossible. There will always be gendered roles and norms and expectations: the question is how strong and what will they be? But not being identical does not necessarily mean not being equal. Yes, 'separate but equal' or 'different but equal' has a spotty track record of humans being able to pull them off. However, what other choice do we have?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/26 05:06 AM
1	Can the average man tolerate a woman being better at something than he is? Evolution creates feedback loops, but the primary driver of this is women desiring men who are better at shit than they are. Naturally, the reciprocal feedback loop evolves. But as long as a man can feel sure that being outcompeted by his mate in something won't lower her desire and respect for him over time, he'll probably be OK with it so long as he isn't in an environment where other people are also enforcing the norm and mocking him for it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/26 09:53 AM
9	For men who say they’re afraid of being used by women, what are the things she’s using men for? What are the signs a woman is using a man? What are the signs she isn’t using a man? You can be used in many ways and it isn't great. But it is also human and happens all the time. The real panic young men are having is the idea that the women they are with don't actually enjoy sex with them or desire them. Or if the women do, it is the pale facsimile of the kind of desire and excitement they did or could feel with a more attractive and conventionally masculine man. This would always be emasculating and humiliating, but we've also turned being sexually attractive and capable int…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/26 04:29 AM
2	Guys will claim "Society generally treat women better than man" and yet never look at other generalizations that could contribute to that. Most Black crime is against other Blacks because those are who live around them. If you are white and move to a black neighborhood, you won't be immune.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 03:29 PM
–	Men do not have “genuine desire” for their partners in the way they want for themselves You are conflating different things. Most men aren't saying they expect that their partner would never find anyone else attractive. Or even that she finds him the most purely sexually attractive thing in the world. But they don't want her to be thinking sex is just of a different category of excitement with him than with a really hot guy. Or that she is thinking about her shopping list while having sex. Most guys just want genuine desire and enthusiasm, but they are hearing a lot of conflicting …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 02:53 PM
–	What build should average height men pursue? It's entirely contextual. If you don't have a pretty face, for example, then you should probably bulk and get facial hair and 'aggro max', etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 02:22 PM
–	Are misogynists good men or are women justified to despise them? English has a lot of words. Can use them instead. "Paul doesn't think women are as smart as men" tells me way more about Paul than saying he is a misogynist.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 06:58 PM
–	Are misogynists good men or are women justified to despise them? They do more harm than good, though. Like 'racist'. Been overused. There's no nuance in how people interpret it. It's like there is an approved party line for gender attitudes where you are onside, and then cross it in any way and now you are offside and a 'misogynist' and lumped into same category as someone who like sport hunts women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 06:52 PM
–	Are misogynists good men or are women justified to despise them? Misogyny and Misandry are bullshit words. There is a continuum of bigotry against the opposite gender. Not some magic threshold where someone either is or is not a 'misogynist or misandrist'.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 11:08 AM
1	Alot of women gaslight men forreasons they don't make the first move. It's not exactly gaslighting because the women gaslight themselves, too. They don't like systematic thinking about these things. It tends to ruin it for them. Most women don't really know why women in general don't approach--not with any serious analysis. But they don't want to know and they don't have to. The real reasons are cultural laid on top of biology. Responsive sexuality, etc. We shouldn't try to craft a system where the aim is for women to approach like many men today do. Won't work. R…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 11:00 AM
3	The "you are either attracted to them or not" people (mainly women) ignore one of the most basic things about attraction - it can be manufactured, learned and acquired. Yes. The idea that attraction is all biology is dumb, for either gender--though studies suggest male sexuality is more biologically determined and shaped than female. But the real question here is whether you can undo this inflation of standards without the cure being worse than the disease. It is dumb to think, for example, that simply understanding that culture and environment have inflated your standards past what is good even for yourself can magically undo those influences. Not how humans w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/26 03:14 PM
–	Anyone in a relationship that believes love doesn't exist? Real love is something that grows. If a mutually beneficial transactional underpinning is like the greenhouse, then love is the flower. It tends to need good conditions to bloom, and will usually wilt after awhile if those conditions deteriorate. But it is real and it is distinct from the transactionality.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/26 06:28 PM
2	Are the women who offer Blue pill advice on here just outliers or are they modifying their message to suit their audience? As someone once told me, both genders have trouble handling the other gender's 'locker room' talk. But the Internet has exposed us to this. I'm not saying that this is ALL talk, but a significant % of it is. Women building up their own ego, or signifying high status to other women, by talking about high their standards are. Women dig status. Us men should be careful what we turn into inter-male status contests because women will totally sign on to choose the winners, whatever thing we turn into …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/26 12:41 PM
–	If you’re a teenager or young adult into the “red pill” pipeline or “manosphere”, there’s a strong chance you’re going to end up really regretting it Yes, it would be better to get de-Bluepilled from better sources--the sources the manosphere uses but then often corrupts. But for most, being Redpilled by the manosphere--with all the attendant toxicity--is still better than being super Bluepilled.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/01/26 10:28 AM
0	No way most men are friends with a rapist Yeah. Well I think Woke has one last chance at the 2028 election to try to reverse the tide. If Vance wins they are done.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 08:30 PM
0	No way most men are friends with a rapist yeah. or just public social media canceling and so on.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 08:26 PM
0	No way most men are friends with a rapist The problem was that at peak Woke you had to listen to them because these morons were running various pseudo-judicial Kangaroo courts.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 08:12 PM
2	No way most men are friends with a rapist Rape got expanded to mean just about any kind of unwanted sexual behavior. So yeah, by that definition, most men have been a rapist themselves at some point.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 07:37 AM
1	What's so bad about being friends with women anyway? It's unclear exactly what the Friendzone is. The only agreement is that it is by definition something bad, and it has to be different than just wanting a romantic relationship and being rejected.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 07:32 AM
3	The Orgasm Gap is real... but it has NOTHING to do with male selfishness. I think this is a complex topic. I agree the gap isn't about inferior male skill levels or greater selfishness. The lower orgasm gap among lesbians is misleading. Men AND women have different expectations in hetero sex than two women do in homosexual sex. Some of these expectations are cultural and some basically evolved behavior. Ultimately, men orgasm more because the male ability to have at least a basic orgasm is just more robust and less impacted by other factors.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 06:58 AM
0	Why are men expected to "chase?" This is 'gotcha' thinking, which is understandable but doesn't lead very far in the end. The issue is that, yes, beliefs based on the idea that evolved gender differences are only below the neck are all fruits of the poisoned tree. Life will always be inconsistent with the logic of such beliefs because the beliefs are not truthful. So the real issue is not the inconsistencies with feminist logic. The issue is how do you craft a society where each gender feels it is being treated fairly overall, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/01/26 05:40 PM
5	If not being in a relashionship causes women to go mad later in life, it would still make sense for at least some to not get in relationships I don't think the ideal pairing rate is 100%. A significant portion of women never married in the Western European marriage pattern. But there is a pairing rate that is too low for social functioning, too. Unclear what that rate is or whether we will test it. However, we should be working on making pairing more desirable rather than arguing about why it is OK not to pair up.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/12/25 11:43 AM
2	Do men actually prefer if their girlfriend is a virgin? Female sexual purity having more value than male seems hardcoded into the DNA by evolution. Both genders feel that way. But cultural and environmental mediation are strong. So this doesnt mean wanting a virgin bride necessarily.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/12/25 04:10 AM
1	The truly romantically lonely women are rarely "happily single" The issue is usually the least bad option, though. Alone or paired with someone you are not physically attracted to? It seems possible women's attraction standards are inflated past what biology dictates by modern culture and technology. However, undoing such influences is a systems problem. You don't undo them but logically convincing a given woman she cannot land what she is attracted to. Not typically how longterm cultural influences work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/12/25 04:08 AM
2	Define Leagues for Men Yeah, it never needs to be that precise in any one individual case. Academics use mate value numbers in the abstract to illustrate concepts, but would not try to definitely rank any one person with them. Interestingly, more women are pure Milton Friedman free marketers on this, wanting no concern for what 'should be'. Leagues are just whatever the market says they are. Men are more likely to see both sides: that the market matter, but that the market can get deranged and there are some rough 'sh…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/12/25 09:02 AM
7	Define Leagues for Men Just like in economics, there are two parallel versions of leagues: what is and what you think should be. The most important is simply what is: what the current sexual marketplace spits out as results. This informs public expectations and how you should calibrate interactions to some extent. It does not limit one from trying with someone out of your league, it just informs how best to go about it. But just as with economic marketplaces, people can get an intuition that the market values have som…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/12/25 06:55 AM
0	Women logically are the cause of most dating problems Sure. But at the higher levels of the conversation, which gender is more at fault for this or that is not so important. More about what should we do? Being in formal, recognized unions has always been important to the widespread monogamy paradigm, but the extent to which that matters in 2025 is a legitimate question. The pairing rate--whatever the formal/legal relationship--is even more fundamental. All worth discussing honestly,and of course the two may be related.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/12/25 09:42 PM
–	"But I know so many ugly guys who are married !" I don't think we can see a solution yet. First, the problem has to be better articulated. It is that even in 2025, like all societies, there are mating consideration that need to be sufficiently addressed at scale. Society has needs and a vital interest. That said, technology changes the game. So we should be careful about assumptions as to how the best way to meet these needs. Then, we need more honest conversations about the best to go about it. OFC these kinds of adaptations don't happen all …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/12/25 05:41 PM
1	Women logically are the cause of most dating problems This assumes that pairing people at a certain rate in stable hetero unions is an assumed primary goal. Many women today say there is no overarching goal. Individual choices. Whatever the marketplace of such choices produces is what we live with. Some women go further and say that widespread monogamy was always against innate female sexual selectivity and requires the oppression of women to make it work. Thus, even if there should be society-level goals for mating and a mating paradigm, it needs …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/12/25 07:45 AM
1	Women don’t need men Not really a counter. I was just adding context to 'women don't need men' romantically. Need or want or whatever, it seems obviously better for society (and the vast majority of individual women) if you CAN successfully pair them with men. But there may be some harder limits to how widely this can be done.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/25 10:36 PM
1	Women don’t need men Men are more aggressive. Women are more egalitarian, at least superficially, etc. The pathways for them being evolved into the DNA can vary, of course. Through hormones. Brain structure. We don't fully know. Some things can be combinations of factors, like female selectivity is clearly evolved into the brain somehow, but part of it might be a natural HUMAN response to greater reproductive costs, i.e. men would act the same if you suddenly made them be the ones who got pregnant.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/25 10:07 PM
1	Women don’t need men I mean evolved, genetic, psychological factors. Of course, maybe a culture never can get past other factors to make this the ultimate bottleneck on pairing rates, but in theory it is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/25 10:02 PM
1	Women don’t need men Maybe. But in theory the non-innate factors can be changed, so the ultimate question will be whether there is some level of intractable innate sexual selectivity that puts a cap on pairing rates.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/25 09:40 PM
2	Women don’t need men I don't want to get into semantics about 'need', but I think most heterosexual women are much happier when paired with the right guy. So more a question if anything can be done such that most women find that guy. Or maybe this is just impossible due to innate female sexual selectivity. One of the big questions of our times.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/25 03:06 PM
-2	Does redpil sees women as people who prevent men from getting sex as much as they want? I'm talking more in the big picture. In higher level conversations, academics, influencers, things that shape the culture.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 09:05 PM
0	Does redpil sees women as people who prevent men from getting sex as much as they want? There is no Redpill Bible. Different people who call themselves TRP have different takes. Ultimately, I think TRP wants more honesty and candor from women in these types of conversations. And for everyone to be more rooted in the actual facts of the matter and not 60s bullshit that men and women are the same above the neck if it weren't for culture and different reproductive biology.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 08:49 PM
–	“Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented women This much agreement between us is upsetting the natural order. We need to fight about something soon to restore balance to the Force.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 12:44 PM
1	Women want to be approached depending on the angle they want to own the OP It's not that incoherent. Women don't like being approached by men they do not find attractive, particularly men who are below their league and should, in women's minds, know that. They want men to know their level, her level, and read the room. If men did that more regularly, then women would be a lot more forgiving of the occasional good-faith misestimation by a guy, particularly when the guy is in her league but just not her type. Now, whether these conditions are realistic is a different que…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 11:19 AM
–	AI and it's effect on women's expectations with respect to online dating. Well there has to be a concrete business model where this makes more money than what we have now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 07:28 AM
1	Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone” In popular parlance, the fuckzone is a flip side of the friendzone. Typically (but not always) men are friendzoned and women are fuckzoned. The fuckzone is when someone wants a real romantic relationship, but the other person just wants to keep it casual and sexual. The OP is talking about something else.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 03:41 AM
–	“Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented women I agree with the OP that ultimately the fear of what discontented men will do is the concern there. The OP didn't explicitly phrase this as men threatening women, but plenty of responders did. So I wanted to argue that bringing up this concern is not making a threat. Nobody here is promising to lead a male rebellion themselves. It is not making a threat to notice patterns in history and human nature and their consequences. Educated men or women alike can and should be making this point. On the f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 02:58 AM
6	Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men? Average people are average in most ways, which includes motivation and discipline. In a culture that aims at being as non-gendered as it can, you can't really expect one gender to put in more overall effort at life. So two question: One, are men just putting in less overall effort at life than women? If so, then in theory that could be equalized, though there may be reasons why one gender is trying less. Two, if the overall effort is equal, then it seems unfair to ask men to just work harder tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 02:51 AM
2	Women Argue Against What They Think You're Saying Instead of What You Actually Said I think this goes too far in the gendering, but I think it is true women do it more. The deeper issue, which contributes to the OPs claim, but has a much broader impact is that women have trouble staying focused on the descriptive without having one eye on the prescriptive. By this I mean that when discussing an issue, in theory one should first just focus on what is the case before using that as a basis for discussing what should be the case. But for good evolutionary reasons, women are both le…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 02:44 AM
12	Where do women want to be hit on? Women have never wanted to be approached by strange men they do not find attractive. Ever.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 09:17 AM
–	Women Seem To Glorify Sexual Violence More Than Men I think this needs to be put with more nuance. Nevertheless, this is pretty much the ultimate taboo to discuss. Women are innately reluctant to discuss this aspect of their sexuality, even anonymously and in public. They fear that the truth will be misused and misinterpreted. Women have always had tensions at the heart of their sexuality. That said, it is also possible that the general domestication of men and lack of traditional masculinity has greatly amplified this desire in women in 2025. It…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 09:15 AM
–	The existence of unattractive and undatable people is a way that nature uses to stop reproduction This is true except for one small detail. Humans are in extreme evolutionary mismatch which begins when we develop consciousness and gets more and more extreme with civilization and higher and higher technology levels. A trait that once contributed to survival and reproduction chances may not do so as much now, and vice versa. Moreover, in order to compete at a group level, humans have almost unique levels of societal control and influence over individual reproduction, which increases the tensio…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 04:08 AM
1	Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each other They have, without getting too technical about whether monogamy implies a formal union or not. And whether it is lifelong or not. But that doesn't mean every man or woman paired, especially given past death patterns. At the same time, there has been social and kin influence and constraints to mating likely since the dawn of time. We still have such constraints, but they are weaker now than ever. And environmental pressures are weaker now than ever. So it's possible that despite 100k years of liv…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 02:35 AM
1	Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each other The average male has been statistically less likely to reproduce probably for forever. But the point is that it is highly questionable how much of this has to do with greater female sexual selectivity. But yes, even if one just looks at humans, women are clearly more sexually selective than males on an innate basis before one gets into culture. No one sane disputes this. The question is how much more selective? How much is intractable and innate vs. what impact do culture and environment have? I…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 02:15 AM
4	Men wouldn't complain about "modern women" or feminism if both sexes were equally attracted to each other This is bad biology. Humans are not the same as other mammals. Human intelligence required larger brains and thus larger heads. At some point, the human female pelvis could only adapt so much. So the evolved adaptation was for human babies to come out half-baked. Human babies are extremely incapable and require much more care for much longer than the offspring of other mammals and primates, thus necessitating more care and paternal investment. As a result, a greater instinct for monogamy and red…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 10:25 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. The human race will continue. That is basically a constraint. Anything that puts things on the path to zero gets reversed at some point, and possibly in a very ugly way if it doesn't happen naturally. I like freedom, but maximum freedom and maximum happiness are probably not the same, and so I opt for the latter if we are using a kind or Aristotelian definition of happiness.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 03:36 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. Like many here, you have some hidden priors. Without them on the table, the math doesn't math though. So basically you breed out the DNA that doesn't want kids and then TFR rebounds eventually? Or TFR is caused by overpopulation and when it gets to the right level, TFR rebounds.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 03:25 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. Fair enough. That at least is coherent and not silly like the 'TFR never matters'. The issue is people have these hidden priors, and without them on the table, their arguments don't make sense. So you are basically making an argument that the reason TFR is below replacement is we have too many people, and once population gets to the right level, TFR will naturally rebound.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 03:22 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. Ah OK. So not really even an overpopulation argument. More a 'we need more TFR pain to shock the system into change' argument. We could debate the merits, but that is logical at least. Not like people saying TFR never matters.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 03:20 PM
2	Sexuality is toxic. Yes, constant exponential growth is unsustainable. But so is constant decline. This is primary school math. Less than 2 kids per woman, assuming for sake of simplicity a 50/50 gender divide, goes to ZERO in time. It's just a question of how long.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 02:28 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. You are conflating what overall population level is best with population stability at that level. Fine, let the pop drop to whatever is best. At some point you need the 2.1 kids or the population goes to zero.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 02:16 PM
1	Sexuality is toxic. The math is simple and obvious. Without replacement TFR at some point (ignoring immigration for now), the population eventually goes to zero. You are conflating optimal aggregate population level with population stability at whatever given population level you want to have.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 02:14 PM
-1	Sexuality is toxic. That's not how the math works. What the best overall population level is is a separate argument, but once at that level, you need replacement TFR or the math goes to zero.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:56 PM
0	I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date Maybe makes sense on an individual level, but the main complaint is about the overall social norm. Why should the norm be men paying if men and women are now economic and political equals?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:53 PM
-1	Sexuality is toxic. If too many people opt out of forming families, everything falls apart.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:49 PM
2	Sexuality is toxic. This goes too far. But there definitely is a tension between sexual desire and the stable, lasting heterosexual unions that formed the basis of families and societies. I've wondered if the psychological suppression of sex was in some way a necessary component of the overall sexual restraint package that cultures have always used to enforce and stabilize monogamy. If so, how much psychological repression is needed in addition to the other social and legal enforcement tools?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:39 PM
2	The vast majority of dating problems are artificially induced and not completely the fault of the individual. Women and men have natures and selectivity levels and standards. It can just be hard to parse nature from nurture. None of this innately blames anyone. Women will likely be the bottleneck on selectivity since they are innately more selective. But we can't also discount the possibility of women not really becoming that much more selective and men having become less desirable in absolute terms, as well. Could go either way or be a bit of both. It's possible we are creating a new mating paradigm th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:06 PM
–	Women love men far more than they admit The question is which men and how many of them are there? Can women land them? Women love the idea of a certain kind of man if they feel any hope of being able to land him. But are the standards compatible with a widespread monogamous hetero pairing rate? Open question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 06:33 AM
1	The vast majority of dating problems are artificially induced and not completely the fault of the individual. The issue is that it has been hard to identify what exactly the problems are at a population level scale. Is this really worse than before? How much? In what ways exactly? The deeper question is, if it is worse in terms of maintaining the widespread monogamy paradigm, how much of that is 'artificially' induced and how much of it is just innate female selectivity free to manifest honestly for the first time ever? If the latter, does that just mean we need a new mating paradigm because widespread …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 04:00 AM
1	The gender disparity in crime isn’t a conspiracy against men Fair enough. But we could agree that this is a problem in theory, at least. That would be a start.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 02:50 AM
–	Nothing is worse then men claiming women are hypergamous and useless meanwhile married to a millionare wifes. Yes, there are a lot of bad definitions of hypergamy, including the idea that it means marrying up in terms of some overall value of a human being. Who can calculate that? But that doesn't mean hypergamy isn't pointing at something real and a more refined concept isn't worth defining.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:33 AM
3	Putting ego aside for my woman’s pleasure. Girls thoughts? Amen. This is so wrong on so many levels I have no idea where to start. A simple, all-encompassing 'disgusting' is probably the correct response.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:07 AM
-1	The gender disparity in crime isn’t a conspiracy against men This is reality based. The issue is incoherence with extreme liberal individualism where nobody is supposed to be judged based on their group in any way. So then it becomes a question of why we gender some aspects of the law and not others. I personally think it is the extreme liberalism that is the problem. You can't make it consistent and coherent without departing from human reality and thriving too much. But since nobody else things that, they are left with the impossible task of trying to a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 01:02 AM
1	Society upholds women’s standards of men more than men’s standards of women, because women’s ideal man is someone broadly admired and socially successful, while men’s ideal woman is someone valued almost exclusively by her romantic partner I think this is contextual. I don't want to make blanket statement for all places and times in the past. Thing is that most women don't want to be as career driven or disagreeable as men, which doesn't mean being pushovers or totally non-challenging doormats, either. When have women ever really been that, anyways? But the reality of modernity is that women must work in the workplace--not enough productive work in the home anymore. Some flexibility in what the conditions could be, though. But eco…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 11:57 PM
–	Nothing is worse then men claiming women are hypergamous and useless meanwhile married to a millionare wifes. I think the extreme female separatism stuff should be as ruthlessly purged as extreme blackpill shit here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 11:32 PM
1	Society upholds women’s standards of men more than men’s standards of women, because women’s ideal man is someone broadly admired and socially successful, while men’s ideal woman is someone valued almost exclusively by her romantic partner That is the tension, especially in modernity. What men innately prefer in women due to evolution is also riskier for women. Tension is somewhat eased by male desire being more robust in general than female, and men carrying more about appearance than women relative to other mate choice criteria. Thus less likelihood of male sexual desire falling below the minimal threshold needed for pairing than is the case with men who fail to meet evolved, non-appearance related, female mate choice criteria. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 10:52 PM
5	Society upholds women’s standards of men more than men’s standards of women, because women’s ideal man is someone broadly admired and socially successful, while men’s ideal woman is someone valued almost exclusively by her romantic partner I see your point, but I think you are a little off here. The ideal woman to a man can also be someone who is widely admired depending on the culture. The issue is that men are more likely to jettison the traits that are widely admirable for more hotness whereas women are less inclined to do so. The non-beauty traits men desire in a woman tend to be a bit more culturally and environmentally variable than those desired in a man, as well. But I feel your list is a bit of a caricature. Sexual purity…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 03:21 PM
1	"Alpha Male" culture is juvenile. Humans don't really have Alphas. The Betas gang up and kill them. But terms don't need to be technically correct to be useful; that said, given all the baggage, I do think Alpha/Beta language does more harm than good at this point. I think humans have accreted layers of sexual hardwiring, some of which predates being homo sapiens. These layers can be in tension with one another. Very quick evolution for intelligence, and the big heads that come with that, did change the reality of things faster …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 06:50 AM
7	1in 4 people will remain single study says. Do you believe it‽ Maybe. In the NW European marriage pattern, unmarried women ranged from ~15% to 30% over the past few centuries even with all the social and economic pressure to marry. Women often outnumbered men during that period for various reasons, which contributed. There is some level of singlehood at which a society will struggle and even collapse, though what that level is, especially in a modern technological society, is hard to say. But 25% is probably tolerable and 0% is probably not actually the ide…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 09:43 PM
1	Why do we think gender equality depends on how women want to act in their relationships with opposite gender partners? Depends. Aggregate mating results matter. As long as they fall within a certain range, can have all the individual choice you want if society wishes. Outside of that range, society starts to fail. Rights come from societies that grant them, so if the society is failing, all bets are off. What that safe range is is hard to know. This is not a threat or anything like that. I'm not gonna be doing anything either way. It is just prediction based on history and general evidence.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 01:47 PM
-1	Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido? Depends how you define promiscuous. But there is a probability / stats game here. If you marry a near virgin in a Western cultural setting, unless religion is at play, you likely are filtering for low libido and/or some other social issues because typical girls in the modern west will have a some sexual partners. How many depends on demographics, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 01:37 PM
14	Domestic labor being a point of contention in marriages is the fault of feminism, not men Fair enough. Should probably change that to an 'if' statement, though there clearly are strong population-level patterns here. I guess the real point is that most women seem to not want there to be a default setting and for it to be negotiated relationship by relationship. And thus, if both people dislike something, then it is expected that you split the unwanted shit 50/50.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 06:52 AM
2	The man paying for the date is a status symbol to women I think this is true in some circles. But I think the deeper point that men paying stems from is that whether they admit it explicitly or not, most women think that heterosexual pairings by their very nature benefit men more and so men need to do something to even up the bargain. To make it more explicit, even in some theoretical scenario where the man and woman are equivalent in every way, from looks to domestic work to income to how much effort they put it, a lot of women seem to feel that suc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 06:41 AM
49	Domestic labor being a point of contention in marriages is the fault of feminism, not men The counterargument is that both genders prefer work outside of the house to childcare and domestic work. So why should women do more?	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 06:34 AM
3	Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot? I don't think we really know where it is right now. I also like as much autonomy and freedom from social and other pressures as is possible. But whether that ends in a sustainable place is hard to say. In the end, it isn't about rights or shoulds, but what will work at a population level. I'm personally hopeful that when we adapt it will be at a level of female selectivity that society can work with. Adaptation includes not needlessly inflating either gender's selectivity past what biology dicta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 06:31 AM
4	Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot? It's a question of degree. Naturally, as you remove pressure to pair up on both genders, but especially on women, there will be less pairing. Question is how far this goes. More than the past is sustainable, but there are limits.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 05:45 AM
2	Women accept men’s uncomfortable truths, while many men turn normal female behavior into a pathology Ultimately, there is a trickle down effect from the top. There hasn't been serious engagement from leading and influential female thinkers with respect to these things on a societal level. Evolved psychological differences are not given enough credit. Everything is about individual choice. But if things have to change, how does society get a high enough heterosexual pairing rate? Stable families? Enough children? Or if the old widespread monogamy paradigm is simply never going to work for free w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 05:28 AM
6	Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot? I think a lot of things are open questions. So I have an open mind. Ultimately, though, societies have to function well and compete with others. The mating and family creation system is part of that. But of course technology keeps changing the conditions, and technology is moving so quickly us poor humans are struggling to catch up. However, I doubt that whatever mating paradigm we figure out that works will feature like 50% of men basically being without sexual partners until they are 30 when w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 04:56 AM
1	Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtuseness This may be as close to agreeing on anything as we will ever get, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead and take the W.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 04:12 AM
1	Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtuseness Bear is gonna eat you not just kill you. At any rate, there's no doubt SOME females were literal or at least thought they were. There are always some who think or do anything.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 03:52 AM
5	Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot? What is happening right now is not clear IMO. And this isn't so much an individual thing. More a group dynamics thing. If the SMP clarified into this at scale, eventually men would revolt and it might not be pretty.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 03:51 AM
2	Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtuseness Maybe. I don't think it got that literal really, though. Men are scarier than bears in general because men are everywhere and bears are not. Women saw it as a bullshit gotcha scenario and so always refused to engage it literally because that just plays into the hands of whatever loser thought the thing up and whatever politics were behind it. Obviously the bear is worse, scarier, more dangerous, whatever in any literal thinking through of the circumstances. So obviously that there is never a nee…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 11:05 PM
0	What is stopping men to be hypergamous like they claim women are? Hypergamy discussion is generally deranged. There's no real agreement on what the term means anymore. It is clearly pointing at something real in women's evolved firmware, but discussions need a lot more nuance in terms of what this really is. One thing Hypergamy is not is about mating with a better overall human being. Who could ever determine that?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 10:49 PM
2	Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtuseness You had it right until the bolded part where you got too literal, which was the point you were arguing against is the preceding text. It was always a hyperbolic, figurative protest point. So, no, most women know the bear is never the actual choice. But the whole point of the female answers was that they were never going to literally respond to the question. It's a protest argument to make a symbolic point about male on female violence.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 10:41 PM
18	Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot? The jury is still out on exactly what is happening right now. But a sexual marketplace where from teens to 30 women fuck around with a relatively small group of hotter guys leaving too many men out of the game, and then women who can't land the hot guys pair off with the rejected guys in their 30s is unacceptable to males.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 10:37 PM
1	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships It's a combination of factors. There was sexual selection, but it was within farmer groups and a combination of a kind of male tournament species-type selection (though not based on one guys physically overpowering his rivals personally but just having more clout, money and backing warriors) and kin preferring their young women to be the 6th wife of a high status leader than the only wife of a poor guy. It wasn't young women just choosing to do as they wish based on personal preference.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 01:17 PM
0	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships It's prehistory and so by nature speculative. But we have no evidence from history that female choice is a driving factor. Kin influence over mate selection complicates modeling human sexual selection the way you would other species. But the interests and preferences of the young female are also by no means entirely different than those of her kin.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 01:09 PM
2	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships I have never heard that. Which females? The females in hunter gatherer tribes just woke up and left to live with the farmers one day?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 12:18 PM
2	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships It was caused by the ability of top men to start hoarding wives, and then massive amounts of male violence caused by this and other factors around the farming revolution. It wasn't unfettered female selectivity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 12:13 PM
2	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships This is making a lot of assumptions about how the current mating market is, or will be, that are by no means certain. Even if things are bad right now, culture and environment play their roles. Better to work at increasing the genders' desire to be with one another than start making huge changes to human society and evolution that could have God knows what consequences.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 12:07 PM
2	Gene editing could help eliminate gender discrepancies in access to sex and relationships There were some bottlenecks, but no, 90% of men not reproducing is not the historical average. Moreover, the main discrepancies between male and female reproductive rates were not caused by female sexual selectivity. Usually by violent deaths or male mate hoarding. Humans have always controlled mating and mate choice at a kin or society level. Female sexual selectivity has never been given full rein. We don't really know how selective women are on a biological level. But able-bodied males during…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 12:05 PM
–	Do you like male chastity cages? Huzzah! We hit a new low. Didn't think that was possible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 11:51 AM
1	What do you guys think of the idea that marriage, male-female relations in general, were supposed to be a humble institution? It was never that cut and dry. Attraction and love always played a part, at least aspirationally as something that would develop. But yes, the preparation was for them not necessarily being there at the time of the union or it ever developing. Or it being there and eventually going away, possibly replaced by a different kind of love. The primary issue was that Darwinian Competition between GROUPS (including just basic survival and hopefully thriving) required that humans rein in some aspects of …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 02:56 AM
1	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. I should reiterate that I'm trying to identify issues but I am fully aware that even if one sees it as a problem, there are no obvious solutions under our current economic system that don't cause more problems than they solve. That said, ability level is not the only thing that contributes to one's status and salary. Connections. Seniority. Experience. Going through the right hurdles at the right time all matter. The meritocracy is by no means perfectly efficient in terms of isolating just abili…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/25 02:38 AM
–	There are more bad women than men these days I dunno. Hard to compare on such a general point as which gender has more 'bad' members. Remembering that women are not perfect angels doesn't make men into angels either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/12/25 07:11 AM
2	Is Don’t Worry Darling a redpiller’s dream? The best form of the Redpill dream is simply that our gender narratives be more fact based, and then we figure out what to do from there, including undoing any cultural amplification of female sexual selectivity past what biology requires. Of course there are many deranged forms of Redpill dreaming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/12/25 07:09 AM
1	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. The actual difference in ability isn't that large after a while in most cases. It is just that this is how competition for the best things works. Students who just missed the cut at Harvard aren't really much different than the ones who made it. It's an issue because at some point societies have to make the mating and family creation system work. You need a coherent system that functions. Sure, we could also go back to something more traditional. Women have to work now for a nation to be competi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/12/25 05:59 AM
1	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. The issue is the size of the price as well as who pays it, etc. But I get that we have no real solution here where the cure isn't worse than the disease. Not with current levels of human social / economic technology. But there is value in identifying what many women consider to be a key issue with more specificity. It's not even just money. A smart, capable woman may have trouble getting interesting and challenging work when her time frees up in her 40s if she takes a lot of time off in her 20s …	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/12/25 01:15 AM
0	What’s the common preference in modern dating for women , traditional roles or equal partnership? Definitely true that some things will have more demographics-based patterns. I just object to the idea that everyone is totally unique and so generalizing is useless. But one does need to be careful about their generalizations, for sure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 03:34 PM
2	What’s the common preference in modern dating for women , traditional roles or equal partnership? I disagree. There are usually strong patterns to these things that are helpful to know. But yes, it is also important to remember that individual variance is high.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 12:59 PM
2	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. The comparisons to other primates are highly questionable IMO. Humans are fairly sui generis. The USA doesn't have a true incel rate of 60%. But the stats on all this are muddy. Hard to know exactly what is happening on the ground other than it isn't good. But the key details are elusive. I suspect there is a lot of variance between demographic groups.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 07:01 AM
1	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. I'm less sure about the evolution-driven approach. Seems likely that technology will completely rearrange the board before that, though I also am wary of thinking tech is gonna do that tomorrow. Will take time, but evolution takes longer. The literature suggests that while nature and nurture impact both male and female sexuality, it is particularly impactful on females. We've never had emancipated women without being under the thumb of all this 60s progressive bullshit and its many offshoots. I …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 06:50 AM
2	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. We are on the same page. I think it is important to have a clear idea what most women actually want rather than the subset of more atypical women who often lead the charge. But you are absolutely right that we simply don't know how to do this right now without almost certainly creating way more second order problems. The cure would be worse than the disease. Part of the problem is that economics don't exist in a vacuum. The effects an economic program would have when monogamy is not socially enf…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 06:34 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I'd tone that down to "I'd rather fuck him than not, on its own merits," though feel free to phrase it more poetically lol. But the same thing I throw at the women I throw at the men here: In the big picture, if this is not realistic, then it isn't realistic. Society still needs to function. Families need to be made. Children raised. Men and women paired at high rates. It's possible that not enough men can ever be sufficiently attractive to enough women to embed these sexual expectations--even m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 02:19 AM
1	You cannot fix problems which do not exist. Most typical women want kids. They want to do more of the childcare and domestic duties than their husbands. But they do not want to do all of it. They want to work outside the home, but in a way that works well with their domestic needs: Years off around births, part-time and flexible as children age up. Fully full time once all kids are old enough. But women also don't want to be at an economic disadvantage to their mates, leverage men can use and abuse. Women also don't want ghettoized career…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/12/25 02:14 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I like the self-awareness. Imma do this thing, and I'll act confident while doing it 'cause that is part of the game, but it don't mean I'm ignorant of reality.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 01:04 PM
1	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. haha not understanding what Reddit is doing to you. Deleting posts and shit?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 12:20 PM
1	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. Polygamy is always pretty rare in terms of what % of men can support multiple wives. So yeah, I agree with that. It's usually widespread and common in terms of existing, but that doesn't mean a high percentage of the population had multiple mates at a time. Pre-agriculture violence levels seem to vary. I think population density matters a lot. Humans still fight even when it seems against their interests because trust is hard. Game theory. Etc. But conditions matter. This abstract conforms too w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 10:33 AM
4	QFW: Do you think it’s a bad thing that women are generally perceived and/or expected to be more “nurturing” and “caring”? Do you think it’s something men can learn from? While individual variance is high, there are strong gendered patterns in human psychology and behavior. Humans have no idea how to run a functional society that competes well with others based on treating every man and woman as a non-gendered individual with no a priori expectations. Ideal or not, this is simply beyond our ability. So the real questions are what gender roles and expectations do we want to have? Which ones are irreducible? What is the balance between the frustration gendered role…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 08:12 AM
1	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. I suspect the key decisions were made by groups of men. Women had influence, of course. They likely had some status, as well. The sexuality of both genders, but especially women was likely highly controlled by kin and tribe. There's variance, but unwanted pregnancy was always an issue. Some sort of marriage was likely fairly universal. Top males probably engaged in some forms of polygamy, whereas polyandry was rare. Whatever systems of mate choice existed, there is no way that large numbers of u…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 07:28 AM
1	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. Because most of the anti-abortion stuff is about Christian-based ethics and not hating women. Plus, abortion is always complex as it is a normal human intuition to feel that aborting in say month 8 is problematic. Knowing where to draw the line is not easy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 11:54 PM
3	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. You think women were 'politically' equal to men in prehistory?	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 11:51 PM
0	Bioessentialism and evolutionary history is at least partially responsible for the culture and gender war happening today. I can't follow the logic here. Are we saying nature is important? Or is this a 'nurture is what matters' argument? And the idea that prehistory was gender egalitarian seems to be largely a myth. Yes, without more advanced technology and social structures, there were limits to how much any gender or people could be dominated. How can you have slaves if they have to live and sleep with you, etc.? But that doesn't mean young females (or even males) had free choice in mating, either. Nor does that m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 11:46 PM
1	The manosphere doesn’t believe men should be putting effort into relationships. OK. I don't think these women are the counterparts of most men. Some men, sure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 07:32 PM
0	The manosphere doesn’t believe men should be putting effort into relationships. That's an open question IMO, which includes what one means by counterpart.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 06:40 PM
2	The manosphere doesn’t believe men should be putting effort into relationships. Men shouldn't have to put in a lot more work at life or in relationships to pair with a woman of similar quality just because greater male thirst and higher female selectivity means that in a true free sexual marketplace there would be runaway male intersexual competition for women. We can debate the extent to which this is true now, or ever. But this is an overarching point that men want to avoid happening.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 04:30 PM
2	The patriarchal agenda: setting up men and women up to fail and be unhappy. It's been like that since the 1960s bullshit. I think technology does keep changing the game, but at the same time, AI robots are not repairing power lines any day soon. But the key thing is ignoring the biology-based cognitive and psychological differences between the genders. Anything based on that will indeed fail eventually.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 07:04 AM
2	The patriarchal agenda: setting up men and women up to fail and be unhappy. Baked into your assumptions is that there are no significant psychological differences between the genders based in biology, and that even if there were, there should be no gendered roles and expectations based on them. Let everyone be an individual. Neither of these things are actually true.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 06:56 AM
2	The patriarchal agenda: setting up men and women up to fail and be unhappy. Well, I'm not sure we need to base our social dynamics on how things would be if civilization collapsed. That said, yes, OP is all kinds of deluded on a lot of levels.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 06:55 AM
1	What are your thoughts on promoting arranged marriages in the west? Kin and societal influence over mate choice are part of a wider system. I'm not opposed to the sexual marketplace effectively being more regulated in various ways, but this in theory. I don't see any way to start with this in the modern West and not have it be a disaster since it is so out-of-step with the rest of the current social and legal dynamics. Other things would need to change first.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 05:19 AM
2	Even if a research proved tomorrow that women's standards are 110% delusional they are still entitled to it If enough women aren't attracted to enough men--or vice versa--then society has a problem. A problem that impacts everyone, men and women alike. Anyone can be entitled to whatever, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/25 01:44 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I dunno about based. Amusing though. No idea about the menopause bill, but that doesn't necessarily sound based. Gavin should never be president, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 04:16 AM
-1	Men rarely if ever care about birthrates and childbearing irl The extent to which the fertility decline is gendered is highly debated. Men are more likely to think about systems and abstract principles, though. So more men than women can see the unavoidable logic that societies need replacement fertility and that not having that is a huge problem. That doesn't mean these men want to have kids themselves, ofc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 04:15 AM
3	Men rarely if ever care about birthrates and childbearing irl It's not clear what the best total population is right now. But what is clear is that once you reach that number, you need your 2.1 kids per woman. I don't see a lot of evidence that the fertility decline is just about responding to overpopulation and that it would bounce back naturally if God himself came down and announced that we were now at the right population, so breeding can recommence.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 04:13 AM
0	Are men and women even compatible in relationships? Men and women still need one another. A functioning society still needs widescale hetero pairing and family formation. Maybe less so than before, but the need is still there absent the discovery of some other functional way to arrange society. I often hear: "What do you think we are doing now? We are figuring that out and adapting." But I see little evidence of that. So men and women are compatible enough given the existential need. Perhaps expectations need to change. Maybe we need to prepare p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 03:49 AM
1	What do both sides think about castration as a form of legal punishment? Thanks. I was coming to ask the basic question of whether it actually works well before getting on a moral high horse about it either way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 03:46 AM
2	What standards should men and women actually look for in someone they want to date? Ideally, yes. But if you have become unable to be attracted to what you can realistically get, this is not always a problem the individual can usually solve. I just hate the attitude that generally speaking it is OK if either gender starts to develop unrealistic expectations. That's a problem. A big one. And while the jury is still out on how much of this is biology, it is clear culture and environment play a role. Thus, if these are inflating either gender's standards, this inflation can also b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 03:44 AM
0	Do women not give young women enough credit in who they choose to date? No idea on that one. Most of the serious relationships with age gaps I know were one-offs. But there are definitely player men that only sport fuck much younger, and middle-aged guys who only audition potential trophy wives that are much younger. In 2025, there isn't much reason for age-gapped relationships in general. It isn't 1725, when there were more valid reasons that were not just about putting youthful hotness above all. There was also more preparation for and social support of such relat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 03:40 AM
0	Do women not give young women enough credit in who they choose to date? Women have a visceral disgust reaction when men seem to care only about looks and youth, just as men have one when women seem to only care about his resources and status. Most of the rest is after-the-fact rationalization. But of course, the initial disgust reactions are not entirely based on our own insecurities. There's also the fact that neither situation tends to result in the best quality relationships. The whole 'she is the victim' attitude is mostly bullshit, though. Truthfully, large age…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/12/25 01:59 AM
–	There is very little reason to believe unattractive guys will be good partners Nobody should date someone they do not find attractive. But that doesn't necessarily mean those people are unattractive or less attractive than you. You are assuming that the underlying issue is that men are being more unattractive than they should be because they aren't putting in enough effort, or are doing the wrong things with that effort. Maybe. In that case, perhaps this is a kind of labor negotiation type thing between the genders and women are on strike until men come to the table with e…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 01:31 PM
–	There is very little reason to believe unattractive guys will be good partners Constantly aiming out of your league tends to result in a lot of rejection, bad relationships, FWB situations when you might want more, pump and dumps, etc. Or sure, you can just sit it all out. If too many men or women sit it out, that is a bigger problem. If just you, then not ideal, but just one person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 01:22 PM
–	There is very little reason to believe unattractive guys will be good partners Leagues aren't a false concept. But sure, you do you. I never said never aim out of your league, but if you always are it is likely gonna create problems. That said, if nobody in your league is attractive to you, and you can't change that on your own, what ya gonna do?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 01:15 PM
–	There is very little reason to believe unattractive guys will be good partners Women and men should typically aim at people in their league whom they find attractive. If nobody in your league is attractive to you, you have a problem to try to solve. If too many men or women don't find people in their league attractive, then society has one to solve.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 01:08 PM
–	There is very little reason to believe unattractive guys will be good partners That doesn't really follow from the OP, but OK. I agree. But women should also be thinking about whether we are doing something culturally that is inflating their standards past what they need to be. Men should do the same. At the end of the day, this all needs to work. We need to pair men and women. Have babies. Make families. Civilization 101 shit. We in this together.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 01:07 PM
2	It doesn't make sense to ask women to lower their standards It's about what is good enough not what is ideal. Women also want relationships. Being able to be sufficiently attracted to more men allows women to pair up more, and more freedom to choose for other qualities. It's in both genders' interests to have lower standards for physical attraction to the opposite gender, to a point, at least.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 10:25 AM
5	It doesn't make sense to ask women to lower their standards The stronger form of the argument is more nuanced. It understands that a lot of standards are based on culture and environment, and thus they cannot be easily changed by the individual. So it is more about women understanding that to the extent standards are inflated past some biological baseline, it is in everyone's interests to undo what is inflating them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/25 02:53 AM
–	Successful men. What are you looking for in a relationship? If they could get away with it, a lot more rich men would go for the hot barista. But eventually, even without social pressure and ostracism, they would still regret it. But sometimes the little head wins over the big one initially and you have to FAFO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/25 01:59 PM
–	Successful men. What are you looking for in a relationship? The issue is that there are tiers to successful that change things a lot. I grew up around rich people and powerful politicians. One of my childhood friend's father is a billionaire. The very rich usually want a woman who could have or does have a career, but will make supporting the family her full time. The key thing to remember is the successful man's social circle, which includes women. If he forces the wrong type of girl into the FSMs around him, they will make him pay. And he knows it. Mot…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/25 10:27 AM
–	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. There is a reason that monogamy is socially enforced and that individual choice was always constrained. The system doesn't work naturally. I didn't say the future will necessarily be bleak, but it seems clear that on the current trend lines, the monogamy paradigm will keep weakening. Maybe we adapt and find some new paradigm. Maybe monogamy gets re-enforced again. At some point a society will stop tolerating its mating paradigm not working, though sometimes that point is too late.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/12/25 08:08 AM
1	What would it take to heal the divide that has seemingly arisen between the sexes so that we can all move forward together, against injustice? Until the important conversations become more grounded in actual reality, we can't begin to know. I get that we've never really had this in the past--any past. But in a modern world with so much information exchange and less inhibited, more explicit conversation, we have no choice to ground things better in the actual truth, or our honest best guesses at it. Men and women have different natures and that needs to always be admitted. Another key part of that truth is understanding that modern enli…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/12/25 06:01 AM
0	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. The point is conjecture about where we are headed. The mediation is increasingly weak. Social enforcement of widespread monogamy keeps decreasing. Hard to use past results as a guide to the future.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 07:56 PM
2	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. You are assuming symmetry between the genders that may not be there. There have always been more unfuckable/unmarrigiable men than women. Male variability theory shows us that the left tails will mostly be men and the worst men are very bad. Women tend to cluster more in the middle. So in terms of rank within one's gender, men will date down and women up. But in absolute terms a 60th percentile male with a 50th percentile woman (ranked only within their respective genders) may in fact be assorta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 03:27 PM
2	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. It's true either way, though details would vary.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 02:45 PM
-1	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. This is more the way social scientists analyze the broader sexual marketplace. Mate value is simply the aggregation of the demand for you as a mate from the other gender. It's used conceptually and one doesn't try to ascertain any one person's actual mate value with much precision. Hypergamy is pointing at a real asymmetry between male and female mate choice patterns, but at this point the term may do more harm than good. I think it is complicated, especially if one is trying to infer the actual…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 02:02 PM
2	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. The point of this avenue of analysis is to focus on relative rank within one's gender and not on trying to assess qualities by absolute metrics or in comparison to the other gender. I think you would find that women have always mated upwards in mate value rank by gender. This does not necessarily mean anything with respect to who makes more, is better looking, etc. It's just one way of looking at the data. Obviously, one needs to use multiple perspectives.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 01:50 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 It's a shit test. You snort derisively and ignore her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 01:16 PM
-1	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. I'm using this as an example to better specify the issue. You can still conceptualize the broader market this way in an analysis even if actually ranking any one person is impossible to do with any precision. People definitely should not be using social science, big-picture analysis tools in their individual lives without being careful.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 01:06 PM
1	The lesbian divorce rate debunks a lot of the complaints wives have about their husbands I think that there may be strong selection effects in lesbian and gay male marriage. Is it still really the endgoal for most gay men and women? Or do only certain types of people go for it?	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 12:37 PM
-2	Most PPD debates gets us nowhere because of these 3 things. Yeah, a 50th percentile ranked man among men in terms of mate value is not usually going to get matched with a 50th percentile ranked woman in most sexual marketplaces. This has always been true. But how high the guy needs to be above her by this metric is a critical factor. If the gap is too large, the SMP is basically dysfunctional in terms of supporting what society wants from it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/12/25 12:35 PM
1	Why do women dislike the bottom 50% of men? I like Datepsych's explanation in general, though I have some quibbles. I have more serious issues with him overall. But nobody is perfect, including myself. https://datepsychology.com/is-physical-attractiveness-normally-distributed/	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/25 11:35 AM
1	Why do women dislike the bottom 50% of men? Lots of things like that dont have standard distributions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/25 10:20 AM
1	Why do women dislike the bottom 50% of men? I do think female standards have gone up, and have become inflated past what biology requires or what is good for anyone, women included. That said, that 80% of men are below average in looks data has to be dealt with carefully. Yeah, I think there is evidence of unneeded standards inflation in it. But at the same time, who said male looks gave a standard bell-curve distribution? Also, it is questionable that women were actually answering what the we think they were. It is not clear they were re…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/25 04:03 AM
3	It's really not that challenging to get a girlfriend It's important not to conflate advice for the individual who must make do in whatever world they find themselves in vs. systemic analysis of dating dynamics. Yes, on an individual level, people make all sorts of mistakes. They often exaggerate things, misunderstand their own level, etc. But in terms of what is going on systemically, I think the jury is out. The data is muddy. I think there is likely a lot of variation now between different demographics, with people presenting the reality of 'the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/25 03:59 AM
2	Akaash Singh (or any rich guy) losing "half his wealth" in divorce On the one hand, you know the deal going in. It's on you. And prenups work almost seamlessly if there are no kids. On the other hand, there is only one default marriage option that is widely socially acceptable. And prenupping if you are below a certain wealth level will tend to anger your partner. I hate the idea that she stole his money. It was always half her money. You know the law when you sign up for marriage, or you should. Just adding context and expanding a bit. I know I'm not really an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/11/25 07:13 AM
1	Why do women dislike the bottom 50% of men? TRP goes overboard on how important a man's relative ranking is. It matters, but absolute qualities also matter. It matters whether the bottom 50% is obese and effeminate compared to the top guys compared to say a sexual marketplace where there is not that much absolute difference between the top 10% and bottom 50%. Say ancient Sparta or a Native American warrior tribe. Everyone is fit. Similar genetic stock. Etc. I think the top men women are exposed to, in real life or digitally, does set a st…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/11/25 07:08 AM
–	People need to stop glazig neurotypicals here A lot of neurodivergents are very smart and can see some things that NTs do not. They may laser focus on certain aspects of the pattern. But the overall pattern is too complex to be navigated that consciously or intellectually, and this is where NDs fail. They can't vibe it well. And the NTs can sense them not vibing it well, even when the NT doesn't make it glaringly obvious by saying something no NT would ever say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/25 01:04 PM
0	Bear in the woods - let’s revisit The whole thing was never serious. Women say they choose the bear because it amounts to a verbal protest about male aggression towards women. Foids doubling down on it and pretending to be serious is just a shit test of sorts. Nobody sane picks the bear in reality. The proper response was to snort derisively and say 'Cool. Enjoy being bear food,' and walk off.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/25 01:02 PM
2	Why do some women like to play the field with top men before settling down with their match?? No irony. We were talking about women, but it isn't as if men are behaving well in an unregulated mating market, either. Some men don't get the chance to misbehave, but all evidence suggests they would if they could. If Becky is fucking above her league and getting pumped and dumped for it, who do you think is doing the pumping and dumping? Often fully intentionally from the start.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/25 10:38 AM
2	Why do some women like to play the field with top men before settling down with their match?? Why not? Maybe they ended up not being his type? Maybe she will have a special appeal to him based on personality? I'm not saying this all makes sense in the end. There are reasons cultures tried to inhibit this behavior beyond worries about disease and pregnancy. But in the very liberal modern West, of course women are going to test what they can get and not appreciate the psychological costs to themselves, or society in general.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/25 09:34 AM
6	Why do some women like to play the field with top men before settling down with their match?? Top men are top men because they are the most attractive and desired mates. You act as if every woman who dates a guy out of her league fully knows he is out of her league. Delusion is a universal human thing. She finds out her true league by testing it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/25 08:54 AM
2	MAGA is proof that men will stand up to feminists when they actually give a damn about issues, which clearly isnt men’s issues. That's my take. But for those operating along a more conventional feminist take, there are certainly problems with men that are analogous to issues women faced and got help with, from men and women. Men are doing horribly at education. Male suicide rates are way higher. I think the family law situation has been improved but still may not be ideal. Men die younger and get worse prison sentences. And the whole culture has been about how masculinity is toxic for quite a while. I just personally thi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 03:43 PM
1	Does the 80/20 or 90/10 rule exist or does it not? I'll leave aside the responsive sexuality stuff, and talk about what % of men women can find attractive once they meet them the right way, etc. There is a Pareto-like distribution to this, but you can't really say 80/20 or any other fixed number for many reasons. First, there's no real way to measure this and apply this ratio to a specific thing. Second, any fixed ratio implies that these things are not dynamic. But that is wrong. Women do not just judge men against other men and only like the s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 03:16 PM
2	MAGA is proof that men will stand up to feminists when they actually give a damn about issues, which clearly isnt men’s issues. Well, I sorta agree in that I don't like the framing of most Men's Issues. Men--particularly when boys--are more fragile in some ways. They simply suffer more when society is not handling its basic shit correctly. The answer isn't to try all these bandaid Men's Issues solutions that won't work. The answer is to work on fixing a broken society where everyone is atomized and isolated. Where the mating market isn't working well for anyone. Where families form later, less often, and then break up to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 03:00 PM
1	MAGA is proof that men will stand up to feminists when they actually give a damn about issues, which clearly isnt men’s issues. It makes a certain sort of sense within their paradigm. But yeah, whatever your philosophy, reality tells us that too many disaffected young males equals bad news. But these are tricky questions because you have to try to see the full pov of others, even when it is nuts. For example, a lot of feminists are 'above the neck' social constructionists. They believe there are no relevant biological cognitive differences, but their are physical differences that disadvantage women and need equalizing. B…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 02:54 PM
–	If the chore gap is noteworthy, the income gap should be too. Well, you can't turn back the clock because technology keeps changing. I'm more advocating clearing our minds of 60s social constructionist Utopian garbage so we can then figure out how to best thrive in 2025 and beyond. Some of the 'traditional' approaches will make sense still and some will need to be updated. But we need a mindset change and to start dealing with actual reality and how humans truly human.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 02:49 PM
–	If the chore gap is noteworthy, the income gap should be too. The average is still above 1. And it will go up one way or another eventually. There is this implicit negotiation about the cost of even one pregnancy, even if everything else is 50/50. Women seem to feel even one pregnancy in 2025 is very costly, whereas men only see it as somewhat costly. Thus there is a huge gap between them in terms of how much compensation it requires. And beyond that, there is simply the fact that in my opinion women simply feel that all other things being equal (and they …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 01:34 PM
2	MAGA is proof that men will stand up to feminists when they actually give a damn about issues, which clearly isnt men’s issues. Most of the core female or male issues require the cooperation of the other gender to address. Men's Issues leaders have said that female leadership has admitted they see political bandwidth in a democracy as a limited resource. If they get behind men's issues--even ones they might agree are a problem--it can't help but take bandwidth from female issues. Since, in their minds, women are still oppressed more than men, it doesn't make sense to prioritize any male issues until the genders are close…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 12:37 PM
–	If the chore gap is noteworthy, the income gap should be too. I guess the counterargument is that even if you have only one kid, if everything that can be 50/50 is 50/50, and the couple are of equal mate value, there's still no 'compensation' for women's greater reproductive costs. No recognition of her greater sexual market value, either--and in any free market bargain, the person with more value gets to have some compensation for that reflected in the deal. Men would do it, too, if they had the greater value. Some amount of some kind of hypergamy may be …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 12:05 PM
1	Most men never have a sexual prime Sure. People have tried some stuff. These things are not usually successfully solved by some comprehensive top-down plan baked up by a group of elites. That's how you get communism and shit. Usually, societies adapt through a complex mix of top-down and bottom-up, explicit and implicit, etc. But I think we may be approaching a point where societies can remember Civilization 101 lessons like that you need babies, families, a sufficiently high pairing rate, etc. So who knows what we can come up wi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/25 09:46 AM
1	Most men never have a sexual prime I think we are at an inflection point in the West, culturally. The 60s era Utopian progressive bullshit is going to die away faster than most people think. That means the political correctness built on this stuff will also go away and we can hopefully have more reality-based conversations about a lot of things, including gender. I think we will re-gender some, but not back to 200 years ago or anything. Gender roles will be more acknowledged, but we will also look for some sort of overall gender …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/11/25 10:47 AM
3	Starting to believe that the man needs to love the woman more Then the woman loses attraction because she thinks she has the power. It's better when she adores him more AND he treats her well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/25 10:35 PM
2	The single solution for women’s dating problems is being more active and asking men out. Women are not gonna do it. Not in their DNA. We'll return to more human mediation before women start initiating en masse.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/25 10:34 PM
6	Most men never have a sexual prime Some truth here, though, so what? Women have more raw mate value than men do, typically. This is known. Some amount of hypergamy (of various kinds) is generally allowed in the sexual marketplaces of various cultures. This somewhat balances out greater female reproductive costs and higher demand for women. But no culture has ever wanted the SMP to be a too free such that greater demand for females is allowed to drive the men to every higher levels of intersexual competition, letting hypergamy bec…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/25 02:25 PM
1	"Men are praised for casual sex while women are berated for it" is a truism of the past. The Reddit gotcha game of calling out women for high body counts is mostly an online thing. Nuance is needed here. Male and female promiscuity have never been seen exactly the same way, and never will be. But just because female sexual purity is more valued, and impurity more disparaged, doesn't mean that for normal people this matters that much. It doesn't mean most men want virgin wives, either. It just means that while both genders can cross over into slut territory, it will always be easier …	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/25 02:08 PM
1	In what situations would you classify a man as a "beta"? Yeah, technically speaking, humans don't really have alphas. They get killed by beta swarms. So it is all really shades of beta now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/11/25 11:01 PM
1	What's the point of sleeping with someone you aren't attracted to? No. This is generally not what is being asked from women by serious people. It isn't that they need to fuck ugly guys for the greater good. Rather, it is that nature and nurture are always at play in everything human, including women's standards for attraction. If women's standards are being raised by the current culture past what biology requires, it might be in everyone's interests--including women's--to try to undo the cultural influences that are increasing standards. The idea being that the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/11/25 12:05 PM
2	Q4M: why do you no longer court women properly? It's always a mix of nature and nurture, but I think we disagree heavily on how much nature there is involved here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/11/25 10:04 AM
1	Whereas male attraction is largely amoral, women’s attraction seems actively immoral and sex itself is therefore bad for either gender The issue here is that your morality is based on some extreme and undiluted form of Christian morality--could also possibly get there via some sort of Buddhist route. Nietzsche would have called this a slave morality. That is a bit unfair as I believe 'slave' moralities capture important parts of the moral landscape, but they do not capture all of it. In reality, aspects of 'master' morality was always in the Christian cultural mix as well. Excellence. Honor. Virtue. Even dominance. Those can al…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/11/25 05:41 AM
34	Q4M: why do you no longer court women properly? Courting like this comes from places and periods with different official gender roles and gender ideology. Modern women keep trying to have their cake and eat it too: There are no significant psychological differences rooted in gendered biology, but we'd like more dominant and traditionally masculine men in the sexual/romantic area because our sexuality needs that. However, these men must know exactly when to play dominant and exactly when to be egalitarian. And all the while we women will admit…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/11/25 04:16 AM
1	Men need to be a compilation of masculine and feminine traits in order to be successful in relationships and they are having trouble grasping that fact There's definitely more downside at the extremes, for sure. But still overall beneficial in an increasingly atomized world where you have to fend for yourself with little family or tribal support.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/11/25 07:59 AM
1	CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truths Both genders have natural evolved instincts that need to be managed. The current conventional wisdom is something along the lines of believing that the best way to manage these impulses in practice is to deny they exist at all. Act like anyone having such feelings is weird or aberrant. Thus, shame helps impede the behavior. I question how well this works and think being more honest about the reality of it all is actually a better way to make sure misbehavior doesn't occur. But yes, of course 18 …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/11/25 06:45 AM
6	Men need to be a compilation of masculine and feminine traits in order to be successful in relationships and they are having trouble grasping that fact The gendered instincts are obviously primarily a product of evolution. But in terms of the 'fairness' argument in a modern setting, it should be noted that the traditionally masculine traits benefit either gender in terms of achieving power, wealth, status, influence, etc. in a rough and tumble world, whereas traditionally feminine traits can often cost you. So in some ways men saying that being forced to follow traditional gender roles is exactly the same as women being forced to follow female …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:19 PM
–	Women in majority care about looks more than men Well, truth is truth. If it were intuitively obvious that one gender was shallower, I'd accept it. But it just doesn't seem obvious to me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 11:34 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 This is evolved female behavior in action. In some contexts it's better and some it's worse. But this is how it be.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 11:29 AM
2	It's not going to get better haha maybe. But they call stuff like that a singularity for a reason. Really impossible to imagine what a world like that looks like from here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 11:22 AM
2	It's not going to get better Yeah. The CCP would do anything, but seems like a sci fi solution is pretty far out. I expect China will eventually get pretty brutal about fertility if it can't find another way. It's tough because this is an information and knowledge age. In such an economy, the production of the top workers matters a lot. And unlike brick layers, the psychic state of top-end knowledge workers matters a lot. If you are too repressive, these people don't perform as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 11:12 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 The typical male argument is that market value is not always true value when a market is deranged. They are saying don't date a fatty when you are not fat just because the current market says that is what you can get. Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 11:09 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 There's a dating dance to be done. Too much explicit is bad for mystery. Awkward for everyone. If all it took was explicit questioning of each other on day one, don't you think humans would have figured that out by now? I know we dumb, but we not THAT dumb.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 10:58 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 The mods hate the way the sub is going. But as bad as it is, Mods are fighting night and day just to keep it from being all Incel/Blackpill all the time.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 10:56 AM
6	It's not going to get better I don't know about the rest of it, but at some point birth rates go up. Either it happens organically because it turns out people were responding to overpopulation signals--real or imagined--and the population hits a level where this dynamic no longer applies. Or nations will at some point do whatever is needed to get TFR up, damn the second order consequences. This might be ugly and no idea if it is 'better'. But humans don't go extinct from TFR.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 09:51 AM
–	Women in majority care about looks more than men I get the revealed vs stated preference thing, and it is true to some extent. But this still doesn't mean men and women care equally about ambition and earning power. I honestly don't take one social science study--or even a dozen--at all seriously. Just how social science is. Plus, mating results do not equal preferences. Various factors constrain our abilities to get what we desire. A lot of men don't want to value female income as much as they do now, but in a modern two-income world, a wife …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 08:20 AM
2	How would dates and marriages work If the average woman was much wealthier than the average man? Why is 50/50 bad? Because women always sacrifice more so if the headline number is 50/50 it won't actually be a true 50/50 at the end of the day?	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 08:12 AM
–	Women in majority care about looks more than men Nothing is actually unanimous in social science. It's totally corrupt. But the actual overall consensus remains that men care more relative to other factors. Plus, not just social science. Literature. History. Your own eyes. Etc. That said, the difference between the genders on this is getting smaller as modernity keeps amping the importance of looks for everyone. The NW study also said this: "But in reality men and women were equally inspired by physical attraction and equally inspired by earni…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 08:11 AM
–	Women in majority care about looks more than men Yeah, the shallow accusation doesn't seem super useful these days. No idea which gender is more shallow. Too hard to do the overall math.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:51 AM
2	How would dates and marriages work If the average woman was much wealthier than the average man? Fair answer. Do you mean harder to respect him if you make more? Or that the general respect a man gets based on his income is also a factor. He will seem lower status and less powerful, etc. if he has less money.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:45 AM
1	How would dates and marriages work If the average woman was much wealthier than the average man? The evolved instincts are in evolutionary mismatch, and are not likely actually attuned to money etc. So it is possible that the culture could evolve to redirect female hypergamy to other attributes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:22 AM
9	How would dates and marriages work If the average woman was much wealthier than the average man? Why do you need him to have as much or more money than you do?	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:21 AM
–	Women in majority care about looks more than men The issue is that this is not an apples to apples comparison since men and women have different mate choice systems. But the relevant literature is still fairly unanimous that relative to other factors, men still value appearance more than women. But women are pickier overall, and may have higher minimum thresholds for various things. So from some perspectives it can seem like women care more about looks than men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/11/25 05:18 AM
–	Is the idea of "the one" a harmful narrative in dating and relationships? Ideally, no. Same for men. But the kids need to be made, one way or another.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 04:51 PM
–	Is the idea of "the one" a harmful narrative in dating and relationships? It has never been only about that. But as societies scaled past a certain size, it became more abstracted and impersonal. So individuals are not going to be naturally motivated by making society stronger. Other institutions evolved to promote the social interest in mating and having children. Those are dead now, too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 04:24 PM
1	You don't need to worry about how age gap relationships are perceived because you'll probably never get to be in one Not how things actually work. Both sides care about how age-gap relationships are perceived because influencing cultural norms on it has an impact on how the mating market works in general. Not a huge impact on its own, but these things add up--which is why all sides fight for the narratives.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 03:40 PM
–	Is the idea of "the one" a harmful narrative in dating and relationships? It has to produce better overall social results than competing paradigms. Over time, your society has to remain materially and militarily competitive with other societies. If your mating system doesn't contribute to that, or prohibits it, then your society will fail in time. As for 'function', well, that is like a minimum requirement. If your mating paradigm doesn't produce enough children, then you die out. If it excludes too many young males, they will burn your society down. Etc. There are al…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 02:46 PM
–	Is the idea of "the one" a harmful narrative in dating and relationships? The issue is that 'the One' tends to involve not just a perfect companion, but someone who really lights your fire sexually and romantically. At a population level, even if you could pair everyone with their 'One' initially, the sexual spark often fades compared to someone new. If romance and mating were just about the two participants, maybe constantly looking for the One, and then inevitably the Next One, would be OK. Maybe. But mating is not just about the two people. It is the cornerstone of…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 02:11 PM
–	Is the idea of "the one" a harmful narrative in dating and relationships? The issue is that a new mating paradigm has to actually function at scale. It has to lead to a society that can compete with societies using other mating paradigms. It's possible we find something else, but thus far I see no evidence that the current crop of non-monogamy ideals work at a population level.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 02:02 PM
1	Andrew Wilson's Force Doctrine: Men have a monopoly on force. Thus, the patriarchy will always exist, because women must ALWAYS appeal to men for their rights. Sci-fi tech could change this, but yeah, in theory it is true. What that means, including whether it means we are in a patriarchy, is much more arguable. It doesn't have much impact on the modern West at the moment. It puts theoretical boundaries on things such that a society could in theory oppress women more than it could oppress men, at least in a straightforward way. But oppression also doesn't have to be that straightforward, and neither gender is near testing this theoretical constraint.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/25 10:36 AM
1	Does masturbation (with or without porn) inhibit pair bonding for men? 'Pair bonding' is a loaded term that ends with lots of logomachy over what one means by it. That said, porn usage is clearly bad for people in countless ways, large and small. It seems a solid intuition that it will negatively impact many of the normal relationship-forming mechanisms. An excessive body count for women--whatever one thinks that number is--likely negatively impacts these mechanisms as well. It is unlikely to impact them in exactly the same way as porn does for men because nature d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/11/25 07:15 AM
2	Women are more attracted to social status than social skills. Beyond the fact that these two things tend to interact, yes, enough status tends to overwhelm everything else in terms of attracting women. However, the vast majority of men have nowhere near that level of reality-bending status. Moreover, other factors beyond status will have an impact on how the actual relationships go with the women status attracts. Will she be faking everything, pretending to like you just to leech status?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/11/25 11:15 PM
–	We should start telling people when they are younger you aren't guaranteed a relationship Nobody ever guaranteed men a relationship: In fact, there was always an understanding that men generally had to succeed in life to get one. The rules of the competition have certainly changed, and likely the chances of success. A healthy culture usually have a mating paradigm that it tries to make work in various ways; but there is also the actual reality at any given time. Young people should get accurate information on both, ideally not through social media.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/11/25 11:27 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 wtf? if that is your interest, a woman's studies program at college is the last place you want to be, unless purely as an anthropological study in how women can lose their goddamned minds sometimes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/11/25 05:38 AM
3	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? I agree that you don't need to make things a constant 3-ring circus of novel fun to stay together. But I think it is a bit more complicated than just making her feel safe and comfortable. I think it depends on what one's sexual expectations are, and modern ones are possibly unique and maybe a bit unnatural. Men want regular, mutually enthusiastic sex from a longterm partner from start to quite an advanced age. Modern technology facilitates this in that we are healthier longer and work is not phy…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/11/25 03:19 AM
7	What do men mean when they say women's standards are too high Ultimately, the issue is that there is a widespread monogamy paradigm that needs to work for mating and family creation. The best form of the argument is that current culture and environment are increasing female sexual selectivity past what it needs to be biologically, and this is contributing to the failure of monogamy. Too many women are not willing to pair with the men they can actually land for relationships. Some are deluded about what their own levels are. Some are enlightened and know th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/11/25 12:02 PM
3	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? It was just an example. It may not fit a given couple's situation. Nor was I suggesting it be a regular thing. The whole point is to avoid things being too regular at all. Lots of cheap ways to do it as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/11/25 11:05 AM
1	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? Well, to be fair to me, I was talking about guys who insist on gamifying things. In that case, this was a way to look at it better. But it is superior to not gamify at all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/11/25 11:02 AM
2	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? One simple lesson I had to learn, beyond any of the dating etc., is that in sex, men really need to switch it up. We optimize, like for a game. Find what works best for her and then stick to it. But actually, the third best thing will work better for her if not used in a bit than the best thing if you have overused that, etc. And novelty can be more than just the sex itself. Where you do it. When you do it. Get a hotel room after a really nice dinner date, etc. So it's still an 'optimization pro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 11:39 PM
1	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? This is fair, though I would say there is a sexual component here. That is to say that in 2025, I think on their own or with friends, both genders will often fall into or even embrace routine and get into ruts. This will impact both genders' sexuality, depressing it. But with women lack of stimulation and excitement and novelty in life and in sex will crash libido below the threshold of wanting much sex at all whereas men's will stay above it. Women will generally just shut down the sex module i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 11:08 PM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Hmm. I don't mind a lot of pop art being about love, but Taylor's stuff is out of hand and deranged sometimes. But yeah, gotta have more in the bag than just that one tool.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 02:05 PM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Taylor is gonna send people to have words with you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 01:56 PM
3	What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men? I think there has been a lot of variation on this front. A big world with a lot of history.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 12:56 PM
1	What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men? Sorry. Didn't mean to imply you said this. Just that a lot of people have this prior belief that an overwhelming majority of women in the past loathed sex with their mate etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 12:41 PM
2	What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men? The details matter, though. I don't buy that women in the past thought exactly the same way and had the same standards, but were just forced into picking somebody. And thus that the vast majority of married women in the past were never attracted to their husbands at all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 12:20 PM
15	Most men are not interested in romance. They just like to have a woman around and have sex with her. Thoughts? While men tend to desire more novelty and sexual novelty than women, evidence suggests women require more excitement to keep their level of desire above the threshold where sex is a benefit rather than a cost. Here's the thing, though, I don't think it needs to be classic romance that much at all. It's just that routine and boredom annihilate the female sex drive because it is much less resilient than the male. These things impact male desire as well, but it still tends to keep above the 'still …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 12:14 PM
7	What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men? Average covers way too much ground to be useful in this question. Beyond that, I think the key issue is attraction. If she isn't sufficiently attracted to him, then sex with him is a huge cost to her that is very hard to outweigh. On the other hand, she doesn't have to find him the hottest thing on wheels for sex to be desirable and a benefit to some degree, along with the other benefits of pairing up. There are other issues with current hetero pairing dynamics, but the main one seems to be not …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 12:03 PM
0	You're Replaceable Let's be careful of that stats. There could easily be selection effects with respect to lesbian vs. gay male marriages. I'm generally agnostic as to individual advice for what to do in the world we are in. But I am always interested in society and population stuff. I'd say that it is by no means proven that there aren't cultural changes that could make long term monogamy work better.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 11:54 AM
1	Do women realize that many adult men just don't have people they consider friends? Males got our issues. But another female problem is reflexive manipulation. Very hard to stay focused on one thing, or on the descriptive phase of something, without constantly thinking about "If I admit or say this, what will others DO with that? What will it lead to?". So basically if you talk about anything at all adjacent to male loneliness, it just triggers the "This leads to that which leads to you wanting us to fuck guys we don't find attractive."	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 08:17 AM
2	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 That's the point. Men who think individual women can flip a switch and change their standards are stupid. But over a longer period, cultural changes can be attempted that would undo excessively high standards that are inflated beyond any baseline. Standards that aren't good for women themselves, and bad for everyone because they impede the monogamy function. You never hear women talk about this. Either they suddenly become biological determinists, or they dodge. Likely because on some level a lo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 06:30 AM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Dumb people can be dumb in many ways, but it is all dumb so who cares about figuring out what type of stupidity it is. The real issue is that these things are emblematic of a possible systemic shift and issue. You can't blame a given woman for not being attracted to what she is not attracted to. You can blame women as a whole for not understanding that there are cultural and environmental factors that mediate attraction trends at scale. And thus for women leaning into being as picky as possible …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 02:31 AM
1	Do women realize that many adult men just don't have people they consider friends? Women interpret any comments like this through the reductive lens of: Men want us to fuck men we don't find attractive for reason whatever, again. Then they stop caring about any other aspects of the argument having written you off as someone who doesn't care about women, so why should they care about you? You will never get past this filter unless you lead with why/how you are NOT asking women to sleep with men they find repulsive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/25 02:27 AM
1	30 year old women hitting the wall and regretting things won’t change anything for men. The men peak at 40 stuff is a whole other thing, yeah lol. But the Wall is strictly a dynamic of a woman's own raw attractiveness over time. It says nothing about how it compares with men her own age. Women lose more, relatively, than men. But whether men are catch up or exceed men in raw mate value is a whole other question. Even conceptually, I usually stick to Mate Value Rank within one's gender as it is hard to compare Mate Value across genders. The primary thing in all this to keep in mind …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/11/25 11:03 PM
6	30 year old women hitting the wall and regretting things won’t change anything for men. The wall just means a sudden negative change in the slope of women's raw attractiveness to men; one that is different than you'd see on a chart of men's attractiveness to women. It's still a thing, but in a modern world, the Wall happens later and the slope change is not as steep. Less sun damage and outside manual work. Better cosmetics. Etc. And how the Wall actually manifests is highly mediated by culture. If women are not going to mate with much older men, then women aren't competing much wi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/11/25 03:20 PM
2	Being funny is not attractive to women Yeah. It's complicated if one deep dives into the topic. It can get you looked at, but then you still have to be worth considering. Can maybe make her try more to find you attractive as opposed to you being totally invisible, or her trying to find you unattractive. Type of humor matters. Self-depreciation is dangerous and can only be used lightly and carefully. Women probably find wit more attractive than stand-up type humor, even if that gets them rolling on the floor laughing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/11/25 02:18 AM
2	Do women generally prefer to date someone who is to the right of them on the political spectrum? It depends on what status and masculinity cues his political beliefs create in the zeitgeist in question.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 05:10 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance Yeah, again, what I would advise any individual do is different. But at scale, we are in new times. I'm not really talking about fairness between individuals here, but that society is trying to find overall gender fairness.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 04:14 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance I have more of an anthropological interest in these things, and am much less interested in what an individual should do given the circumstances we find ourselves in. At scale, average people are average in many ways, including motivation and discipline. Plus, there is an inbuilt sense of fairness. It probably is not sustainable at scale to ask men to do a lot more than women to mate just because women have more leverage in today's mating market. But if one means for men to work smarter more than…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 03:46 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance I'm using market value for mate value, so that factors in all that you have said. Yes, in another set of circumstances, the mate values that market spits out would be different. The key question is how much of this need for emotional responses as you call it is hardwired and just finally free to manifest, versus how much is a result of modern culture and environment. I don't know.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 03:43 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance This may be a thing. Lower tier mate value men are likely to be objectively worse than equally ranked women in many ways. But I'm skeptical of the effect size and intensity: in theory it could be dealt with at scale with a bit more mating upwards from women at these levels. If lower tier women dont want to pair with their male equivalents, with some reasonable hypergamy factored in, I suspect it is because they don't find those men sufficiently sexually attractive. So naturally the costs outweig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 03:18 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance In theory, unless you are in the rock bottom tier, you should be able to match with your equivalents. Many men today are saying that a key change in mating is that lower tier women aren't willing to match with their male equivalents. I don't know how true that is. It is also possible lower tier guys keep aiming out of their league. Hard to say. My suspicion is that there has been a change and that lower-tier mate value women are increasingly less willing to match with make male equivalents. Rath…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 02:37 PM
1	Need Advice from Women: How can men decenter women and still get regular sex & intimacy, just like women are decentering men and meeting their needs? How can men live like women? At some point one is gonna have to use a lot of intuition to parse things. How much of this is connected to sexual access? To status incentives? In Ancient Rome at times, a lot of men didn't want to get married once the old school status incentives for doing so withered, and given that they could fuck infinity slaves. I think the core point is that functional external social dynamics tend to revolve around a functional monogamy and family creation system. So when a man is not married, a lot of o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 12:48 PM
5	Confidence is something you are born with "to those who have everything, more will be given; from those who have nothing, everything will be taken" Pretty privilege has always been real. Yes, you get spiral feedback effects, negative and positive. But the OP goes way too far. Confidence can also come from other sources. Some people find ways to be confident despite seeming to have every reason not to. And we haven't even gotten into what the right amount of confidence is. Finally, at the edges, general principles do get distorted. So ye…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 12:36 PM
1	Need Advice from Women: How can men decenter women and still get regular sex & intimacy, just like women are decentering men and meeting their needs? How can men live like women? Hard to say if this is intrinsically true because everything is connected. This zeitgeist is not somehow the default to judge things against. One general truth seems to be that men in general do less well when the external social structures are fucked up or just lacking. Boys do worse with bad homes or bad schools, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 12:33 PM
1	Need Advice from Women: How can men decenter women and still get regular sex & intimacy, just like women are decentering men and meeting their needs? How can men live like women? Maybe true. Maybe not. But that is in the current deranged zeitgeist. If it is true, it indicts the current situation and not the ideal of heterosexual pairing and family.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 12:13 PM
–	Most dating advice from women here comes from a point of extreme ignorance The sexual marketplace could be divided into various tiers where the dynamics can be quite different. Most conventional dating advice is sorta aimed at the upper mid-tier these days, and presumes a certain level of both physical and overall attractiveness. Nobody gives dating advice for people who are bottom tier usually, other than find a way out of that tier or die alone. In 2025, this may actually be the best advice lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 10:12 AM
5	Need Advice from Women: How can men decenter women and still get regular sex & intimacy, just like women are decentering men and meeting their needs? How can men live like women? Feels like a 'gotcha' question more designed to show problems with feminist logic than to pose a sincere issue. Neither gender is fine alone. Arguing over who does worse seems unproductive. Men and women alike should ideally be making finding a good partner and raising a family well among their very highest priorities. Everything else is sorta bullshit.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 10:02 AM
5	Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicap The issue is that the discussion you want to have in the way you want to have it are all based on prior assumptions about human nature and how human society work that are shallow and ultimately wrong. But unpacking and debating all your priors would take a long time, in the middle of which I'd probably get banned from orbit by a Reddit AI.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 09:53 AM
8	Need Advice from Women: How can men decenter women and still get regular sex & intimacy, just like women are decentering men and meeting their needs? How can men live like women? First rule: Be Attractive. Second Rule: Don't Be Unattractive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 09:50 AM
–	Men are actually dating up What the OP is really saying is that the market value is the only value. Humans naturally look at value from multiple perspectives. When we calculate dating up or down, we typically do this based on other value metrics. Leagues themselves tend to be based on a combination of market value and other forms of assessing value. OP is saying fuck all that--even leagues do not give market value enough credence. And by 'market value' here, OP would mean that women are simply innately more valuable and d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/11/25 09:06 AM
3	Men's Libido Is a Disease There's a potentially interesting conversation to be had about whether modern sexual expectations are realistic and whether our social structures are working to properly channel and address male libido. But this discussion is hidden under too much ranting. Besides, PPD wouldn't be able to have the talk anyways, no matter how well framed.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/25 08:22 AM
8	"Women want to be loved not lusted over" yet they keep pitching out for the top % of men This is obviously true at an instinctive level. But there is cultural mediation, so what matters are the details. What % of people are getting lumped into the unattractive category, even by people as unattractive at they are? Etc. This can vary.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 06:49 PM
3	Men shouldn’t be labelled as white-knights, or told they only care because they’re trying to “get with” a woman, when pointing out sexism or discrimination This can be true, though 'it doesn't matter' may be too strong, logically. But the answer here has to be to correct the reasoning of people who are making bad arguments about the victim's actions rather than just get so frustrated with people doing so that you call for a ban on any conversation on that topic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 03:41 PM
2	Men who want a stay at home wife or mother: what would you consider financial abuse versus fair? For average people, she owns half. She has as much access to everything as she wants. You create some big savings and investment accounts that require joint signatures so as to check both of you from doing anything dumb. At some level of income, access could be restricted similar to how your prenup (which you probably should have at this point) dictates things would go if you divorced.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 03:14 PM
5	Feminists will do all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify why men should adhere to gender roles. The first key point is that most modern feminism is poisoned by 60s-era social constructionism and progressivism. So it has an incorrect take on the balance between nature and nurture at its core. It doesn't understand human nature. Thus, its outputs will always be flawed. Trying to reconcile them, or insisting that feminist rhetoric be actually applied fully and fairly to both genders (get rid of the hypocrisy) is the wrong path because it is an impossible path. The second major point is that m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 06:20 AM
7	This sub is an objectively bad example of what average men are like in real life because there’s over-representation of autistic/socially incompetent men here There was always mixed messaging before. Feminist messaging and more classic gender dynamics messaging. The details also matter. Yeah, the classic message was that men would get a girl a bit more physically attractive than the guy because men put more of their choice points in looks while women spread them around more. So completely equal looksmatching would essentially be unfair to men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 06:13 AM
10	Men shouldn’t be labelled as white-knights, or told they only care because they’re trying to “get with” a woman, when pointing out sexism or discrimination Victim blaming 'logic' went way too far. Humans will always naturally have questions about what a victim did that might have contributed to the probabilities of their misfortune. This is how humans learn. Suppressing this talk makes it go underground and further distorts it. It's harder to do, but the line has to be drawn at assigning 'blame' when it doesn't make sense; or in combating the very human logical jump that fault on the victim's front somehow reduces the culpability of the perpetrator…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 06:06 AM
2	Men need to stop drinking the kool aid No doubt click-based grifting corrupts everything. But there's a lot more than that going on IMO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/25 06:01 AM
10	Are there any positives to usual porn consumption? I'm sure one could cobble together some positives, but they are always massively outweighed by the negatives.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/11/25 10:55 AM
1	Men dont need pity or help from women I don't NOT believe stats, either. I have seen lots of studies and read lots of stats. I just don't believe any one set of stats usually, nor believe that one set of stats--even if true--can completely define the situation. I think dating is harder in 2025 in a variety of ways. I just don't think all the details are clear, including causation, how much is gendered vs. non-gendered, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/11/25 02:43 AM
5	Men dont need pity or help from women There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. I'm just saying that I personally am not sure what is actually happening right now and it seems hard to get real read on it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 02:20 PM
2	Men dont need pity or help from women The singleness rate has never change?	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 02:06 PM
2	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I agree that market values arent everything as markets can get deranged. But are you, in more absolute terms, on par with the women you were trying to get attention from?	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 08:51 AM
3	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 <image>	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 08:39 AM
2	I’m convinced that the only reason men want women to be more involved with fixing the “male loneliness epidemic” is because they genuinely do not care about one another’s problems. Thoughts? Views on this are deranged on all sides because the issue is totally misunderstood. There is a non-gendered social isolation foundation to this. Internet is atomizing everyone. Women do better because women are more resilient to situations where the formal and external social structures are not working well. You see this in which gender is damaged more by divorce, by bad homes, and so on. But that doesn't mean women are doing well--just better than men on this front. Neither gender can fix itsel…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 08:17 AM
2	Men need to stop drinking the kool aid True. I'm just trying to empathize with your average young guy in 2025. Not some political incel or whatever. Just normal teen or twenty-something in 2025. Male performance insecurities have long been a thing, but now feels much worse.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 07:59 AM
6	Men need to stop drinking the kool aid To be fair to normie young guys, various factors have created a big question in their minds. How often are women, even the ones that are in relationships, just pretending to enjoy sex while doing their shopping lists in their heads? How much does it matter is this is happening? Etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 07:47 AM
5	Men need to stop drinking the kool aid There's a valid underlying point about men needing to recalibrate sexual expectations. But it is hard to find that point under so much Blackpill-adjacent hyperbole.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 04:14 AM
0	Gender war stalemate favors men Men only have a longer reproductive window to the extent younger women are willing to pair with older men. For various reasons, women are increasingly less willing to do so. The group of older women that can attract a younger woman grows smaller every day.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/25 03:16 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 lil bit, yeah	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 05:52 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Cool. Well you have some external support that can make 'head of household' more of a real thing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 03:42 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Totally. I can get an argument--at least logically--for wanting a system where men can be heads of households. But no idea what that really means in 2025.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 01:53 PM
5	Women are vocal when an allegation comes out but go silent when it’s proven false Appreciate the balanced and nuanced interaction. An increasing rarity around here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 01:14 PM
4	Women are vocal when an allegation comes out but go silent when it’s proven false Purely in terms of the legal system this is one of the fundamental principles. But of course the system aims to do better and clearly does overall. With respect to sexual crimes, hard to say. Now, in terms of extra-judicial, social enforcement things are different. The presumption of innocence, burden of proof principles still inform cultural norms to some extent, but nowhere nearly as strictly. The main issue is how the Internet distorts everything. I think we can see that trial by social media…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 12:57 PM
4	Women are vocal when an allegation comes out but go silent when it’s proven false I agree with you. I'm just trying to outline where I think the fundamental tension is. I think that even for women it is ultimately better to protect our presumption of innocence ideal, including even a watered-down version of it for outside the courts. And that means accepting a certain level of gendered male sexual harassment and assault as inevitable given our current social configuration. There may be some other way of running a society that does better on both counts, but I don't know what …	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 09:22 AM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 What exactly does 'head of the household' mean in 2025 with no external institutions to support this? Women can leave any time. Male physical advantages cannot be used to police their behavior. She won't starve without you. Etc. Etc. What you want is a woman who is not going to fight the natural leadership / dominance dynamic that would emerge just for the sake of feminism or overall equality of women, etc. But that also means you need to choose a woman where that dynamic is naturally the kind y…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 08:05 AM
1	Most women aren't honest about dating apps and finding relationships If you compare the genders in terms of who has it better in mating and dating, you need to be way more sophisticated. First, given that the genders are different, even if society gets things somewhat balanced overall (another discussion altogether), you wouldn't expect every aspect of society to be equal. Beyond that, yes, there are endless contradictions between modern gender ideology and rhetoric and reality. But that is because the ideologies are insane: trying to make reality conform to them…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 07:32 AM
7	Women are vocal when an allegation comes out but go silent when it’s proven false I think you are getting at the fundamental contextual issue. The amount of sexual harassment to assault that will almost inevitably still happen within a gender mixing modern society using Western legal principles where it is 'better than 10 guilty men go free than 1 innocent man go to jail' is still way over the level that most women can accept. There's a real bind here. Sure, these legal principles have never been strictly applied outside of court, but they definitely had influence. Social med…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 07:21 AM
2	The real world treats men in their 20's - 30's onwards who are virgins as failures. Let's stop hiding behind the term 'virgin' as if that status in no way reflects an underlying reality. We aren't talking about virgins of choice here. The virgin status merely gives people something more concrete and measurable to cement their already existing perception that someone is unattractive to the opposite sex. There are legitimate arguments that current mating dynamics are fucked up in myriad ways. Decent arguments that female standards have been inflated and distorted by technology an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/25 04:40 AM
1	How did RP help you? TRP content providers often tried to present themselves as entirely descriptive with no prescriptive elements. But they were human. Prescription always finds its way in. But there was certainly more unanimity on the amoral descriptive part than the prescriptive part. Those that clearly felt there could be a better system, though, did think in terms of the system. This wasn't an issue that individual men could fix.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 02:41 PM
2	How did RP help you? To be fair, even OG TRP and much of PUA was based on an 'enjoy the decline' narrative. Implicit in this was a belief that in a better world, men should also act differently than spinning plates, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 02:02 PM
2	How did RP help you? Wait. Men can also be manipulated using their evolved tendencies? This RPW shit seems dangerous as fuck. What have you foids been up to?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 01:27 PM
6	How did RP help you? It was one of several things that helped me see past all the 60s social costructionism and utopian progressivism brainwashing. But I could see the problems with TRP as well and so moved up the quality chain to better sources.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 01:25 PM
2	What options do high income women have? Yeah. Well most couples couldnt afford a SAHM or SAHD forever anyways. But having SAHD work is pretty tough, with pressures against it that impact both genders.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 01:14 PM
3	What options do high income women have? I can see that. On an individual level, variance is high. Moreover, we all have to play the game by the rules and within the incentive systems we have. Do you think you could be OK with a guy who did SAHD, or some version of that plus lower paying career semi-part time, etc?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 01:07 PM
5	Any violant agenda or idealogy men subscribe to is entirely their faults and therefore responsibility I can hook you up even better. I know this hedge fund bros. that invests only in mating markets! Can't lose investment.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:47 PM
21	What options do high income women have? There are always feedback loops in these things. But the idea that men not being able to be the lower income partner is the primary driver, while women don't care, is a bit hard to take. I get that on an individual level, maybe the OP doesn't care.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:46 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 JFC what a wonderful time to be alive!	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:29 PM
1	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg Seems good that he is Ex and not current. But I tend to just look at these things in an anthropological / sociological light. The big picture stuff more than what individuals should do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:16 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Cool. I have no idea what saying just looking for new friends actually signals in OLD these days lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:15 PM
2	Red Pill advice surrounding the Male Loneliness Epidemic is confusing and bad Men suffer more than women when external social structures are not working well. In a society where enough men are forming families that last, other structures that help men get into communities also form around that. Or at least did before the Internet. It isn't about sex. Or about therapy. Or about emotional labor. It is about men having purpose and a valued, respected places in a working and thriving community. In such circumstances, men don't need to cry on each others' shoulders to not be l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:10 PM
15	Any violant agenda or idealogy men subscribe to is entirely their faults and therefore responsibility There's a difference between threatening someone and predicting what others would do in the future based on history and evidence. The idea that the mating market is free now, or ever could be entirely free, is beyond naive. Societies don't work that way. If the level of individual freedom is not producing aggregate results that the society needs, then society will intervene. On both genders. This is reality and always has been.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:07 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Are you implying you already see some hard limits on how far it could go, though?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 12:03 PM
1	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg Even if he somehow was the one, given 2025 sexual expectations and 24/7 digital titillation, if too many men had just one relationship and sexual partner for a while, this will not appease them. This won't lead to a stable mating system. In the end, this is the perspective that matters. Somehow it has to all work such that your mating and family creation paradigm keeps your society functional and competitive with other societies.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 11:47 AM
1	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg Sure. Stats on all this are muddy. Clearly there is less and less romantic and sexual connection, but how much is gendered vs. general Internet-induced social isolation? Plus, having been in one relationship vs. none isn't necessarily some magic threshold that makes everything OK. I'm pretty aggressive in believing that these things are existentially important at a population level. But given how muddy things are in terms of even knowing exactly what is happening, I do not have a quick trigger f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 10:28 AM
1	Why do men want to go to places with hot women if these hot women will reject them? People vary greatly in how much of certain truths they can psychologically handle. Delulu is real.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/10/25 05:59 AM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" Yeah. And it wasn't as if they were giving enemy men participation trophies while raping their women. The men get slaughtered. But sure, there are other costs to women. Women will get kept in line by warrior men with violence and threats of violence. But it is usually more straightforward. Don't cross these lines, don't get hit. Not like creepy violence from feminized men in feminized societies.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 07:08 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" None of these things contradict evo psych. We still have mating systems with social intervention and enforcement. This is not a perfectly free market. Culture still mediates biology. I'm not some crazy extreme TRP guy. I don't even like TRP much and see it as a bastardization of evo psych because political correctness made it hard for academic evo psych to get through to the masses.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 06:34 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" I'm saying that what the female genes are attracted to is not as specific as all that. They are generally oriented towards male strength, worldly competence and status among men. Depending on how the culture works, different things can trigger these female heuristics, which were imperfect even in the stone age we are most adapted to. And are even more strained given the massive evolutionary mismatch created by modern civilization. But culture building is not a science. So we can't just create a …	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 06:14 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" Crying is misunderstood. There's room for a fair bit of cultural variation while still holding to the same basic evo psych premises. The warriors in the Iliad pulled their hair out in grief while the tears flowed. But within the context, it wasn't a sign of having given up, or being truly and lastingly defeated, etc. There's room for cultural variation on a lot of evo psych fronts, just not infinite room by any means.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 06:03 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" I guess the female counterargument to this is that such a system requires a much greater erotic sacrifice from women than from men. It also, in practice whatever the theory said, seemed to require not just legal and cultural constraint on sexuality, but to psychologically suppress sex. It's dirty. Good women don't really like it. This also means male sexual expectations need to get changed as well. Most men can't expect a lot of truly enthusiastic and mutually pleasurable sex from their wives. A…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 05:50 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" Both women and other men are atavistically attracted to caveman-like masculinity. This doesn't make this ideal, but it means you are gonna have to some how work around this fact of nature, particularly if you want to make a civilization work at large scale, including a functioning widespread monogamy system.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 05:41 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" That's fair. Then taking into account practice and ideal for both, the underlying issue seems to be dealing with female mate choice preferences and sexuality. I like the Islamic ideal, but it may require a lot of constraints on mating and sexuality to make it work. Young women, who if women are emancipated fully are the ones at the age to choose mates, are viscerally turned on by displays of stone age masculinity, dominance and strength. So what are you gonna do with this fact of nature?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 05:37 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" Why then do you seem to be putting discussion of how Islam actually worked out of bounds, and only want to focus on the scriptural theory? Or have I missed something?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 05:23 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" How can you compare two ideals if one is just theoretical while the other is actually battle tested in practice?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 05:02 PM
1	What's your ideal world ? Modern feminism, like all the children of Utopian progressivism, is completely deluded about human nature and gendered natures. Without understanding evolved female nature, women aren't in a position to try to transcend it where needed. They aren't even trying. They argue manipulatively. Even during the purely analytical stage, there is always one eye on what any 'admission' might lead to. What kind of prescription might come of it. There is not a focus on the absolute truth first before then de…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 04:55 PM
–	[Debate] The conflict between "Societal/RP Stoicism" and the Islamic ideal of the "Merciful & Gentle Man" Warrior cultures tend to actually provide women the most freedom, historically. This is perhaps because the more masculine the men are, the easier it is to make monogamy work out with less direct control of women. The more feminized the men, the more control over women the society seems to have. So the issue here is given that nobody has found a competitive mating system to widespread monogamy, you need to make that work. If you are going to do that while giving women more freedom relative to ot…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 04:51 PM
3	If you could ask your partner one question and guarantee a truthful response, what would you ask? Is there anything you aren't telling me that you think I would want to know?	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 04:26 PM
1	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg Maybe. But the details matter, which is the point.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 04:11 PM
0	20 year old women don't want middle aged or geriatric men the way these men want them Cool. I'm not a recent college grad, so my window into the behavior of 20 somethings in 2025 is somewhat limited, but by no means nonexistent. It's a pattern I noticed, but its all about percentage changes and not absolute ones. There is a political push for age gaps to be creepy. To be a win for males and a loss for females, etc. This has an impact. Culture always does. But nobody sane is saying that on an innate level, all other things being equal, younger women don't prefer younger men to old…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 03:49 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 There are strong reasons why women don't want to initiate. But your point is also not entirely wrong. This is why all past societies used mediation and plausible deniability to help make the initiation process work better and to avoid excess direct rejection trauma.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 03:46 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 ROMO is tough, but has to be jettisoned. You never get to turn back the clock. All you can do is live the best 33 you can be. Anything else often gets creepy and pathetic. Can sometimes do a few selective things to appease the ROMO, but not much more than that. Token gestures at best.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 02:36 PM
–	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 The disgust is strong in your family.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 02:35 PM
5	A lot of criticism against TRP isn't because of self-improvement advice, it's because many RPers (mostly men but there's also a lot of women) have dogshit morals. It gets worse every day. But there is little point arguing with them, and taking unnuanced positions to counter theirs doesn't really help much anyways.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 02:15 PM
3	A lot of criticism against TRP isn't because of self-improvement advice, it's because many RPers (mostly men but there's also a lot of women) have dogshit morals. You are glossing over arguments that actually have core points worth discussing, even if the obviously extreme versions of them are dumbass. Men do naturally remain physically most attracted to young women. That is different than arguing that acting on these instincts is a good thing. Or that this means men of all ages are most attracted to young women overall, factoring everything in. There are legitimate issues with female participation in the economy. Sure, the idea that it is innately ruinou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 02:12 PM
-1	Do you genuinely believe that a "traditional" female role is important and honorable? Sure. Having agency or education is gonna impact women having 10 kids or not. Not sure how much it impacts the smaller gradient changes that matter for maintaining stable population in a modern era where you don't want too many or too few, as a society. I believe society always needs gender roles and expectations, and can't avoid them anyways. So more a matter of what they will be, how they are enforced, and how to handle the more atypical members of that gender. I think typical women DO want to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 02:03 PM
-1	Do you genuinely believe that a "traditional" female role is important and honorable? I follow the TFR stuff pretty closely. It's basically overdetermined. We have a bunch of factors that are likely all contributing, but thus far no definitive take on the real causation equation. I was thinking more about how do you just get 2.1 kids and women to do more of the childcare, especially when kids are very young. But for both genders to feel the overall gender bargain is fair, and women to even like their role.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:34 PM
–	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg I thought you were a sincere poster, but you just want to play weird dominance games. Sorry. I'm bored.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:31 PM
5	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg I'm not going to do a full review of mating psychology and evolutionary biology theories. But not like one needs to do that. We all know, at least loosely, what makes people more less generally attractive to the opposite gender. That is what mate value is basically.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:26 PM
2	Do you genuinely believe that a "traditional" female role is important and honorable? Sure. But I was more focusing on what possible emergent solutions could happen in the future. Are there some hard constraints that make things different than the past? And ofc one has to be careful having any utopian views of how the past actually was.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:21 PM
8	If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avg Trying to calculate one's own mate value and use whatever you calculated to navigate individual life is peak autism. This is big picture modeling of the mating market, where this makes sense.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:19 PM
1	20 year old women don't want middle aged or geriatric men the way these men want them Well that's the thing, culture can change lots of things (within ranged, ofc.) Sometimes it was not a physically attractive prof, but it was something else about him, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:18 PM
1	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 I'm just saying it is 2025 and I have no idea what is real anymore lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:01 PM
2	Do you genuinely believe that a "traditional" female role is important and honorable? But given modern medicine, having that many kids per woman would explode the population past sustainability. And with modern conveniences and smaller families, being a pure SAHM for 30 years doesn't make sense. So even if we returned to more gendered roles, what would be asked of women would be far less than that. That said, maybe even this is unbearable to a modern woman with higher IQs than the past who has had that intelligence stimulated since she was young. It is all just too fucking boring…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 01:00 PM
3	DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 Let's see how she looks like in real life, just coming out of a shower. And that doesn't even address the surgeries.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/25 12:55 PM