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Bogusky Archive

View 0 posts and 53 comments by Bogusky on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yep, I get it. You can do this, man. Give yourself some grace along the way and heal.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 08:39 AM
12

I hate to be a dick, but my ex loved me on our first date too, as I'm sure yours did. The more important thing is whether you love yourself, not how you're being received. And I say this, of course, while still attempting to convince myself of the same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 09:04 PM
3

Depends. There are 17 no fault states. If he's not in any of those, then yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 12:41 AM
9

The fact you have the self awareness that this begins and starts with you, you've got a chance to salvage things before you blow it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 01:54 AM
7

Good for you. I would have done the same. She'll probably find another but that's her problem. If you're desperate to get laid, find a higher class prostitute. They're out there, but require some homework and are more expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:30 PM
4

I'd rather have a prostitute tbh. For many reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:48 AM
1

Yeah, I get it. What is called "showing up" today is "bare minimum" tomorrow. I honestly don't mind that arrangement if my needs remain a priority, but both have to care for it to work out, right?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 03:00 AM
11

I'm behind you by 10 or so years. Same game though. I'm attractive enough to draw some good looking first dates, but my conversion rate has been pretty sad so far. Personally, I don't think I'm going to settle. Attraction is one thing but chemistry is also important to me. If she doesn't adore me, I don't want her. I've got a lot of shit still going on that's keeping me here but once things stabilize I think I might be a passport bro tbh. Life's too short to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:49 AM
19

This is the hope this sub needs
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 01:56 AM
5

This is my situation right now
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 02:45 PM
-23

I cheated, and frankly, I'm not sorry. Society and reddit can tell me I'm a monster, but you'd be wrong. You'll never convince me otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:10 AM
2

My same situation word for word, except 4 years was my limit. I've often wondered what the breaking point is for most guys numerically speaking.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 04:11 AM
4

In my state they call it what's "fair and equitable" - before taking X percentage like everywhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:22 AM
2

Yeah, it is. At the end of the day we live our lives based on society's rules, but that doesn't mean we have to live our lives based on what other people think. I could have quietly kept up the charade, but that's no way to live.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 01:34 AM
-3

I cheated. Sure, the bedroom was dead for years and she was shit at caring about me, but she still raised our children and gave years of her life to us. I owe her alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 01:14 AM
6

So much easier now that she she's got the thing she cared about the most to begin with - the money.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:21 PM
11

It's a jungle out there. You get what you get, especially if you're taking just hookups.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 02:57 PM
3

Yeah, no judgment from me, man. I had people tell me not to jump back in as quickly as I did, even after separating. I did anyway, and tbh...no regrets. Everyone will have an opinion one way or the other, but deep down no one knows ourselves or the situation better than us.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 03:18 AM
8

Personally I couldn't bring myself to do this until after I actually separated, but more power to you if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 02:08 AM
6

Will confirm the same on Miami. I'm usually on the other side of the country and there is no comparison. The workers over there actually take pride in their craft and it shows.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 05:44 PM
2

It can be a viable stopgap if you're discerning and don't take it for anything more than what it is. Always be prepared to walk away and watch your six.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 05:40 PM
1

It's crazy how identical our arcs are, so I appreciate the words of encouragement. I'm in year 1, answering initial interrogatories. Anything you would have done differently early on from a legal standpoint?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 05:55 PM
2

I'm still separated and working through the divorce. I picked up a FWB roughly 6 months after requesting the divorce. I made a point not to hide that fact from my kids and network for a couple reasons - 1) honesty was a big motivator for divorcing in the first place, and I have no intention of living a double life. 2) I didn't want my friend to feel I was ashamed of her (and I wasn't). That said, I didn't put her in front my kids mainly because it felt too soon. They saw me take her calls occasi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 05:48 PM
4

I (M43) was in a similar situation with my ex (F42). 20 years married, 2 kids in their teens. Experienced a lot of similar sexual issues, where I'd work on her for nearly an hour only for her to resent the fact that I seemed to enjoy my 5 minutes more than she enjoyed her 60. That alone wasn't the deal-breaker for me though. It was the blatant everyday disrespect, and my kids were coming of an age where I could tell they noticed it. I didn't want them to walk away with the lesson that this was n…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 03:12 PM
2

Couldn't agree more with this, especially about being forthcoming about the divorce. What I've discovered is that in the majority of cases I'm not the one who's emotionally unavailable, but rather there's many women out there who are really just looking for an experience provider and nothing more.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:42 PM
1

I count the time since I moved out of the house, because I believe that's what most people mean when they ask the question.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:35 PM
8

Not my ex, but my first FWB upon seperation is like this for me. She was toxic AF, but it doesn't change the fact that she was peak for me in so many ways. Time to focus on dude stuff for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 09:57 PM
9

"Lose" your job and leave the country
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:10 AM
11

I still love her tbh, but there's no way I'm growing old with someone who has no respect for me. I do believe she still loves me in some twisted sort of way, but I choose peace instead.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:11 AM
6

I initiated. Moving into month 8 since seperation. No regrets so far. She's going to hold out for every last dollar she can get too. Still, no regrets. I can't take it with me anyway. Peace is priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:31 AM
1

As soon as I moved out tbh, but I also instigated the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:07 PM
11

Kids don't need to understand "who's right." Kids just need to know that you're there for them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:59 PM
0

Only you can answer that for yourself. Me? I did cheat, but it took 3+ years of a cold bed (zero sex) and non-stop, blatant disrespect before I made my move. It is what it is, and frankly I couldn't give less of a fuck over the judgement that has ensued. I know what I know, and I didn't make my choices flippantly. Once separated I have continued to hook up to a small degree. Haven't gone wild. One thing I will say though, is be up front with people. Let them know that you're separated and going …
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:21 AM
7

5+ years?! Wow. I'm 7+ months separated, still in the process of finalizing the divorce and I'm not wasting time. I asked for the divorce and I'm openly mingling. Started with a 3-month FWB who was fantastic in bed but had the emotional availability of a rock, and was my lesson that I need more than just a fuck. It also ended really bad as she seemingly went crazy overnight. Weird experience, but probably a valuable one. Now going on app dates semi-regularly. I don't view it as a waste tbh. I vi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 11:48 PM
6

You don't go to church for help. You go to church for purpose. These institutions aren't looking for more charity cases. That's the hard truth about today's Christianity.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 06:04 PM
2

Beautifully stated, and your first sentence is the #1 reason why "staying for the kids" lost its credibility for me. I didn't want my teenagers to walk away from our dysfunction telling themselves this is normal.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:21 PM
4

Yeah, she's going for every penny she can, so we've both lawyered up. I would definitely prefer to do something like that, but I guess we'll see if it's possible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 03:48 PM
5

4+ months into my separation and the fight over money is going to be intense tbh. Even if she takes me to the cleaners though, you really can't put a price on freedom. I know exactly what you're feeling, OP. I have felt the same and not a day has gone by with me regretting my decision to break this off and remove the cancer, however painful it might be procedurally.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:23 PM
2

I knew much longer before I chose to act
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 09:21 AM
7

My first impression of my ex was that she was kind of mean. Because I never saw that behavior directed towards me, I thought maybe it was an anomaly. As it turns out...
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 08:53 PM
2

It is if you are 100% done and the other party is dragging ass at every procedural juncture. Like the answer to every inquiry, "it depends."
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 02:07 AM
1

My problem is bulk. I've never retained bulk my whole life, but I do feel this would help in the attraction department. Trying to avoid steroids, but...
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:34 AM
2

Stoicism is why I stayed with my ex for as long as I did, and yeah, I suppose it's an effective means of putting your mind to rest. I feel it teaches you to ignore immediate desire and place higher purpose before that. In my case it was my kids. Then my ex and I reached a point in our communication where I couldn't see how we were doing the kids any favors by staying together.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 12:53 PM
2

Everyone is different. I know the routine advice is to wait around and work on yourself, but I personally feel like I'm starving to death emotionally and by finally separating from my ex it's only compounded this sad reality, and maybe even desperation? I've gotten some interest here and there, and this past week had a wonderful time with a FWB, but the reality is her emotional availability is zero. I'm finding it hard to function and by most traditional check boxes I am doing fine. But I'm not …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 07:57 AM
2

I regret nothing. Is it lonely, and do I miss seeing my kids more frequently? Of course. But the bandaid had to be ripped off, and I'm not returning to that toxic dysfunction for anything. I was teaching my kids the wrong lesson by being the doormat for so many years.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 08:54 PM
2

I'm entering month 3 since separation. I am lucky in that I have a very dear friend with benefits who has made the transition easier but is not in a place to really progress beyond that right now. What I've come to realize after playing the app game is that getting intimacy won't be the problem. The problem will be finding someone who's truly invested and all-in on you, and I can't say the journey is particularly enjoyable because there can be a lot of wasted time, but you also have to understan…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:11 PM
3

I see so many bios looking for "blue collar" guys. You're absolutely right.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 08:05 AM
2

I know that loneliness can be crippling but don't think about it like you're wooing someone. Be straight and direct about who you are. I found this initially seemed to hurt my dating app responses, but it also seemed to detract a lot of time wasters. I'm getting much better matches now that I've cut aside the generic, nice guy blurb ("I too like the great outdoors"). Also, remember that one response is enough, if it's the right one.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 08:04 AM
15

Two months separated. It's lonely, but there's also self recognition that I was already lonely before. There's work to do and a heart to heal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:54 AM
13

Welcome to the club. Just finished month 2 into separation. Work is grinding what it can out of me. Ex is insistent that financially speaking 50% is the floor to any negotiation, which is still ongoing. My immediate family's biggest involvement was an attempt at intervention, but it was an ill-conceived attempt. After that, a few awkward "I'm sorries." Any romantic flings or hookups are almost always tied to money. It's hard to feel like there's anything legitimate. I'm trying to remind myself t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:54 AM
3

Same. Can't wind back the clock now though.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 09:56 PM
3

It's different for everyone, but I think deep down we each know when the timing is right. Personally, I'm leaving a long-term marriage where it's been dead for years, and I was keenly aware of this fact. For me, I'm jumping right back into the game now that we've been separated for a couple of months. Another reason for this is because my ex is dragging the divorce process out even longer, and I'm not going to waste more time for the benefit of social optics.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:33 AM
6

This gives me hope. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 12:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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