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View 2 posts and 58 comments by Boliviascott on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Boliviascott/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 08:44 PM
4

Boliviascott/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:23 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I will counter this on limited contact. Most if not all prohibit contact. Even if she initiated the contact and you continue the conversation, email, text etc, YOU are in violation of the restraining order and can be arrested and jailed for this. Yes, her initiating it can be a mitigating factor but in no way give you the green light to have contact. Read the order and obey it to the Tee as it is a judicial order by the judge not an order against your spouse and you. She cant say the contact is …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 11:13 PM
10

Don’t chase her, don’t stalk her social media. Each time you check or try to contact her you dig yourself deeper in that black hole. Don’t shut yourself inside and especially don’t start the bottle or pharmaceuticals as it does nothing but drags you down. Know your life will get better, work out, get a shave and haircut at a new barber, buy some new clothes and get out of the house daily. You will get better
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 08:46 PM
2

There are a cpl of reasons. One is the sugar daddy thing. That is okay if it is what you are into. The father figure for some. They want to be emotionally taken care of. Many find older men attractive due to confidence, experience, maturity, attentiveness and frankly you’re not a two pump chump. Also background has a lot to do with it. Many hispanics who grew up outside the US like older men. I mean 40 year age gap is normal and accepted. A lot of asians are the same. The US used to be that way …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 05:19 AM
1

Jere is the truth regarding the asset split. This event will have no bearing on it as California is a no fault divorce state. In regards to the criminal charges the District attorney doesnt need your permission for the charges. Given what you said it would fall to a misdemeanor domestic violence charge which would require a DV program, baring any forearm possession for 10 years and a restraining order. When she was arrested she was probably served with a temp RO and cant go back to your house. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 06:12 PM
4

Think this over carefully as you still have the home buyout to consider. She could delay delay or just stop paying and next thing you know the bank has it before you are even aware of things. Yes she owes you the money but how do you get blood out of a turnip? Get your buyout first and let your mind settle. Sue will get hers but dont act out of rage
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 06:25 PM
1

The 61 k is good to get that spousal support behind you bit of course that depends on your income and hers. Of you worked and she didn’t take it and run as she would be going back every time you receive a raise etc. go for 5/50 custody with no support and expenses split for school i insurance etc. you can try to have the judge rule and settle that issue before the child support then use that income she receives and the home equity against her in the child support portion. If you try at the same …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 01:45 AM
6

You need to protect assets and get a court order for paternity. Most men dont want to get a paternity test but California can make you pay child support for children that arent yours if you accept, even passively, paternity for a certain amount of time. At the same time make a police report of the child abduction since she cant take a child from one country to the next without parental consent, including yours. Now above all get an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 12:11 PM
1

I have traveled for six months solo throughout several countries in South America. I worked in several countries for years but it just takes a bit of courage, common sense and wanting to get out of your shell. Believe me it will help with your divorce recovery. Shoot me a DM if you need any advice
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:02 AM
2

Two party consent means both parties to the conversation consent to the recording. One party consent means that one party PRESENT consents to the conversation. Of neither of those is applicable it is illegal. Of course she will claim you abuse her and it is there for her protection yada yada yada. Best bet is beat her at that claim ahead of time. Set up you own recorded conversation and work things in where she denies that aa well as recording anything. You have to be tactical to get her to deny…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 04:10 PM
1

If you haven’t already, you need to get copies of all financial documents such as bank statements, tax returns, mortgage etc. she can cut back on her work, which is a common tactic, but that is why most courts want hard records and not just her statement. If she makes more money than you, you can request alimony. Push for joint custody, not just for you and the child, but it lessens or erases the child support. In court, records and documents talk and oral and written statements/BS walk
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 05:54 PM
3

It is very easy to slip into a bottle saying it is only one drink occasionally but that turns to every night. You use it to quit thinking about her and your own issues. Seeing a therapist is so good advice most of us dont take. It is someone to vent to spill your guts who holds no judgement and only knows you through the sessions. Really fellas use your insurance and talk to one. You will get better
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 07:42 PM
1

Of you agree that distance and time needs to be factored into support and your time with the kids as that is basically two days of travel. Also if you are driving, factor in hotel costs as kids shouldnt be in a vehicle for more than 8 hours
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:25 PM
1

Dont give up the material assets but give them up in place of value taken off any payment you owe or added to the amount she may owe you. She is not giving you free money dont give her any in a contested divorce. The payments you made to something will probably be irrelevant as you were married at the time and your money was her money. But anything can be safe lit down the middle or amounts taken off or added to any payments by one party. I wouldnt budge on meeting half way because if she moves …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:21 PM
1

Have you gone through the retainer yet and what exactly was performed? That should be stated on your billing. Realize they are probably 200-400 per billable hour so it can rack up. if you are almost there then i would probably still to the hourly rate. If not then it might make sense as long as you are seeing progress and have timelines. I would weight that before making a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:14 PM
1

If you incur debt while married it becomes both your debt unless structured such as a business loan to a trust controlled by her. Any debt is normally up to the point of filing divorce or legal separation or a date of separation you both agree upon. Then Any debt after that date becomes the debt of that party exclusively. So it should be the cc, student loans, although this might be something exclusive to her, and the auto loan would be 50/50 responsibility
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:32 AM
4

The assets should be split according to who brought what into the marriage if anything and their increase in value. If all was brought while you are married it should he a 50/50 split. How much debt and income she has vs yours shouldnt factor into it. That is where the spousal support aka alimony is factored. The child support relies primarily on percentage of custody. Also your attorney needs to factor into the amount of rent her parents could pay towards her income even if they are living ther…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:06 PM
1

You know i cant say. I do know from my conversations it is like this. Je is not worries by the other guy as they have been divorced and i am glad that is not his focus. I still dont think she is trying to make him jealous as the photos she gives him access to are only of my friend and his ex. She obviously is carrying some feelings as she has them on her fb account and i doubt she is giving her bf access so he can see them. I think everyone makes great points in this thread. I am pretty sure he …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 10:28 PM
1

Well it is good it is not me but i do think he might be going down that dark hole again I just dont want to see what others think not just give my opinion
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 07:25 PM
3

The first thing and one of the most highly prized things for us older men is confidence. You jave to regain this and ouze it. You would be surprised how capable women are at detecting this. Remember when you have a woman other women are more attracted to you. Vice versa they can sense desperation. Start by just saying hello to every stranger and looking them in the eye. Seriously we lose this skill. The start a conversation with a total stranger woman in the super market. Not picking her up but …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 06:59 PM
1

That is my gut feeling but i do have several friends who have remarried to the same spouse and they are better than almost everyone i know. I think for those it has to be both parties to forget about the bad things from the past. Of you cant get over it then it will end in disaster. I have been in his shoes and sometimes you cant think logically you have to give it a try and if it fails at least you wont regret not trying. Ive said it is really his choice but be prepared for her to not respond g…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:34 PM
1

Cant say if she cheated as he never mentioned during our many deep conversations. I dont believe so. I think it was he was paying more attention to work and golf vs spending any time with her. I believe this happened over years
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:17 PM
1

That was initial thought but and mentioned that until pointed out she only gave him access to their old photos together in FB, which meant she has kept the new guy blocked on those. I also agree with him that if she wanted to make him jealous, she would have given access to photos of her and the new guy. I also just thought of something. She might be trying to gauge his reaction as he told me he went crazy with texts calls and messages to her social network accounts trying to get back with her. …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:01 PM
4

No i have been there and done that. It will drive you mad as you have no control in that
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 02:56 PM
1

Yeah that is my first suggestion but he is really into her. He wants to find out what she might be up to and thinking
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:52 PM
2

You cant focus on fault. You need to learn from your mistakes but what is in the past cant be undone. If you still love her she will not come back, if she ever does, unless she sees a new man. I would concentrate on you and let her know you still love her but say you need to change and tell her what you are concentrating on. Your actions will say more than your words. She may get back to you and she may not. Either way you will be a better man and on your way
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:43 PM
2

I am 60 and i will tell you what i did and it is not pimping for the program. I started with dumbbells and a chin-up atrachment for a doorway. I have an old program called p90 that does a daily workout program which is scheduled out for different body parts and lasts about 45 min each. Has elements of stretching and yoga included on certain days. It is a 90 day program then i shifted to the hour daily workout called P90x. Same idea but more intense. I use the time i save going to the gym to walk…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:02 PM
0

I feel for you as I have been through California divorce court but I will be blunt. You are not talking facts to your case. You say a lot but really say nothing other than an emotional rant. I get it but remember this is court. Bring forth issues such as why does your wife need to be 400 miles away if she doesn’t work? Take away her arguments such as a school choice by finding one equally as good closer to you. Argue for her to drive half-way for custody drop off at a police station midway. Argu…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 01:52 PM
1

If you are unsure of that domestic violence part you have to be careful. An arrest can lead to loss of a job in some cases and seizure of your firearms among other things. I would buy security cameras for the home, inside and out that are linked to the cloud and accessible remotely via an app, that only you control, and do this for your vehicles also. Get the biggest memory space they sell also. Obviously you need her to be aware of them and advise her that they are for her safety when you are g…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:11 AM
2

She is going to get the split of the TSP anyway. I hate to be the bearer of bad news on that front so there is no incentive for her to take that offer. Most states use a computerized system type of asset distribution. How many years of marriage, what assets were brought into the marriage before, what was bought during the marriage, incomes of each party etc. it is totally not fair when one party busts their ass and the other party can work but choses not to. This is why many divorce lawyers tell…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:00 AM
1

I understand and i honestly dont think she is purging you but those reminders can be very painful. I wound up in the bottom of a bottle for almost a year drinking myself to sleep. Keep looking at her social media etc. luckily she did not post stuff to hurt me. We each deal with that loss on different ways but i would suggest if there is no chance of getting back together then purge also. It is more packing it away to give yourself a chance to move forward. Even if there is a chance of reuniting,…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 07:11 PM
1

Hi. I will say that purge mentality is so you can get rid of reminders of your former spouse and can try to move on. I recommend to men to pack the things away in a box and put it in the attic, basement or garage. That way you dont have a constant reminder of her that wants to drag you down that emotional hole. You cant move on if you are constantly being reminded of your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 05:37 PM
4

I will say if you disregard your kids and just say it is all for you that you are an absolute AH and you will get what you deserve. Planned or unplanned, they are your kids and tale priority while you are raising them. You can have both but if a woman is just into you for your cash, she is there temporarily and it would he cheaper getting a pro. Your kids depend on your guidance, love, and the fact you are present in their lives. I will het this was a fleeting thought, or i hope so, and we get y…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 09:19 PM
4

Brother i am working on editing a video on this exact topic as we speak. Here is what i have found that might help. Stop replaying the past. It is done. Remove any triggers around you of her. Fill the silence you feel with something else. Reclaim yourself and who you used to be. Finally set new goals for yourself and your life. DM me if you need help and hope this gets you in the roght direction as i have been there and have the scars to prove it
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 05:54 PM
5

Im an older man who travels and has lived around the world and yes it is the norm many places except the US. For me it is not my cup of tea as most of my time is spent outside the bed and i want someone i have things in common and can hold a conversation with. 10-15 years is ok since im 60 but dipping into a 20 year old is not for me. I think this was her way of doing a DILF when she is out of town. Many women are attracted to our maturity, confidence and experience. Chalk it up and move on as i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 05:09 PM
1

Make sure you document everything and every contact as soon as it happens. Not sure what party consent there is for your state but if it is 2 party consent get yourself cameras inside your house. Only answer her call when you are being recorded by the camera. It will only give your side of the conversation but that in addition to your demeanor on tape can refute her saying you were yelling swearing threatening etc. then create a clean email account and immediately after any contact send yourself…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 06:40 PM
1

You need to seek therapy as it sounds like the sex 2-3 times a week are what you are missing, not her. Get yourself straight and if she is really the one you want, the get yourself under control. If it was just the sex and you plan on cheating more, let her go. She will always be connected to you because of your kids. Keep that a good relationship for their sake. Give her the respect you desire from her
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 10:52 PM
1

The spousal support depends on your state. Not sure what NY is but California it is 50% of the time you were married. So if it was exactly 7 years you would get support for 3.5 years. The assets are for just what you accumulated during the marriage, minus whatever you or your wife contributed to the purchase using premarital assets. You can fact asset value increase as a split but you don’t receive half of the asset they brought into the marriage such as the value of her 401k up to the point of …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 10:13 PM
1

I’m gonna disagree on not paying anything for the house. If you sunk say 200k in premarital assets as a down payment for the house, you will get that back upon the divorce settlement. If you pay nothing towards the house and she decides not to pay and it goes to foreclosure, you just gave up that 200k to spite her. Woman are infamous for trying to screw the man over financially and would do something like this to spite you. Sure you will suck it up as she lives there rent free in that case but y…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 10:03 PM
1

I would at a minimum file for legal separation while contemplating your divorce action. Most states that is a form filed with the court and may or may not have to be served on her. That will stop the clock for sharing. In regards to assets, if you brought the asset into the marriage and kept it separate and she did not contribute to it by means of shared assets, such as putting more money into the account, it remains with you. You may have to split the increase in value just for the period you w…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 09:16 PM
1

Thank you so much. I will definitely check those out
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 06:31 PM
1

Lots of great suggestions. Very much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 06:30 PM
1

Thanks. Great idea
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 12:03 AM
1

Fear is a real issue with older men. Are we gonna survive financially, emotionally…are we gonna be alone for the rest of our lives. I know from experience I have faced that fear, and I think every divorced man has. Great topic. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 01:10 AM
1

You know I just created a thread for older divorced men and one post I put on there was about a viewer who sent in his issue. He caught his wife cheating and wanted advice if he should get revenge and tell that man’s wife. Getting revenge can be bitter sweet. It is nice for the moment but really doesn’t help you heal. Now standing up for yourself and taking a firm position is not being the no more Mr nice guy. I think that is a great topic. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 01:08 AM
3

I will tell you as a man much older than you when i went through my divorce you will at first find it difficult on the male companion part. Your friends who are married will drift away from you as their wives wont like them hanging with a new single man and you are a reminder for every cpl of what could happen to them. BUT dont let that control your decision. If you need to get out of the marriage and are 100% sure it is not going to work then the sooner the better for financial reasons and of c…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:24 PM
1

That rage is something you have to get control of as it is really only hurting you. One thing that helped me was forgiving. I know it is very hard as it was for me bit once you let go of that blame and anger towards you ex it gives you some inner peace. You will never forget but she is gone. No matter how much anger you have towards her, she is not there to receive it nor does she care about your hurt. If you let go of that anger, which is very hard to do, you will start to heal and realize now …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:15 PM
1

That financial fear coupled with the divorce is one of the worst things we face. We work our whole lives and then realize we actually worked for only half of it or sometimes less then maybe our job will not be there due to automation is frightening. But careful financial planning in anticipation of this can help but it will never alleviate the destruction it can cause
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:10 PM
1

I had to make that decision and many of also factored that in. The financial ramification is real and very concerning to every older man. The system is set up not for reconciliation attempts but rather for you to have to make that decision now or face losing more assets down the road
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:06 PM
1

I will admit i am not in that position but i know many many men who are. Having lived and worked in numerous countries outside the US over 30 years before the worldwide travel became the fashion. I can attest you can have a great life in many countries full time or part time on way less money. DM me if you would like any personal info. And no i am not gonna hit you up with an ebook or course hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:04 PM
2

I am in California but traveling overseas for several months throughout i will DM you. Anything to help others. We need as much support as we can get as the system is set up to govern us the short end of the stick so we have to stick together even if it is not in our nature to open up to others
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:55 PM
2

I will say from my perspective it gets better. You will have a good life. I was drinking myself to sleep every night just to get a col of hour rest. I looked at myself and turned it around. Im now traveling solo for several months throughout south america and really enjoying myself. Not the passport bro thing but really enjoying life. Keep focusing on improving yourself and that alone time now lets you do that. It will get better. You can DM me if you want more from my journey
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:52 PM
1

Man that is a spot on one of that continual attempt to degrade is and male us feel small because they can and we cant say or do anything in return. Especially if we are trying to take the high road because of children and be civil
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:47 PM
1

It is horrible how important a man is in their kids life yet the courts seem to do everything they can to discourage us and make us just say F-it. Good thing is most of us dont but it takes a toll on us
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:44 PM
1

I am focusing on everything. I have used submitted concerns similar to a thread and then give advice and hope for others to chip in but afraid input will dry up
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:42 PM
1

I like that. I know you always receive half of the information from her and when she finally opens up she is half way or all the way out the door
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:40 PM
1

Haha yes it is a real thing. I sometimes wonder though. But did it for my personal growth. I lime continuing education. Those are good topics but was looking at more specific things. I think any of us who has gone through a divorce has touched on every one of them. It is not easy for us is ot
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 09:39 PM
2

I suggest getting out of you house and going somewhere. Say take a weekend camping trip. Just get in the car and drive to somewhere new. Sitting in that same apt or house will bring you down. Ive been there brother. It gets better believe me no matter how dark it is now
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 08:57 PM
1

I went through the same thing. Your life revolves around you family and lest face it at our age it is hard to make friends again because you are single. You are a reminder to the married couples of what can happen as well as being a third wheel. Focus on yourself and get back to the things you did not have time for when you were married. Improve your golf game, wood working, writing that novel, whatever used to give you pleasure but never really had time for when you were married. I would also s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 08:54 PM
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