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BonafideZulu Archive

View 1 post and 58 comments by BonafideZulu on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

BonafideZulu/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 04:47 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Damn, you’re likely right, which makes it sorry to hear. He, along with Bones, were a staple in those forums. Bless them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 11:14 PM
4

The List is old, yes, but it is still a good starting place to build the mindsight you need to succeed in one's divorce case. The Forum itself is still heavily useful.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 05:32 AM
1

The WayBack Machine is your friend, friends: Lessons Learned - Before and During - Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum (archive.org).
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 04:38 AM
1

Yea, I feel you. Maybe it makes sense to acquire an existing business that complements or expands your current business? Definitely an easier road than building from scratch. Not as hard to do so than you might think…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 08:38 PM
1

Bilingual? Deutsch? With a background like that, it sounds like you need to expand your search and look for remote jobs on the coasts or international. What type of jobs are you looking for? Any possibility of starting your own thing or acquiring a small business?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 05:22 PM
1

Less than $1000/month total for 2 children.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 04:41 PM
2

That’s the problem with “doing the right thing.” It’s usually never the right thing — lots of guys burn themselves this way, sadly. You’d be wise to learn from this comment, OP. Same with “moving out.”
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 04:40 PM
1

Live and learn, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 04:37 PM
2

Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 04:37 PM
2

Good luck, brother. It’s not an easy decision nor easy road to wander. Give it real consideration, but do not make the fatal mistake that your life is over or will be worse off. Positive mindset. We’re here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 01:09 PM
1

The two are not mutually exclusive. In any case, you’ve been disrespected. If I make some assumptions, only knowing the details you’ve shared, presuming you’ve attempted to reconcile with her over an extended period of time, and you see no further hope/use in engaging with her… I’d start developing my divorce game plan. Google “The List Men’s Divorce Forum,” follow (most) of the steps. Then file.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 09:19 PM
1

Good advice. Read 3% Man by Corey Wayne as well.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 02:27 PM
2

Fully agree. Even if not the case, still wouldn’t go that route. Reading through this sub should tell you that. Penny wise, pound foolish.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 02:24 PM
2

Discover and embrace the newfound freedom, man. Get yourself right, in both mind, body, and spirit. Opportunities are abound.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:49 AM
1

To put it bluntly, he’s saying that your wife stopped loving you (if at all) and is at the stage where she’s constantly testing you. At this stage, she sees you as a necessary annoyance to ensure her and her child’s wellbeing. This may be of some fault of your own (or not), I.e. writing a letter to express your displeasure as opposed to talking to her about it head on (another test).
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:42 AM
2

Exactly! Dude, if you get yourself right… you’re going to be drowning in puss, lol. Also red 3% Man by Corey Wayne.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:06 AM
1

Absolutely. OP, you need to do two things: 1) Google “The List Men’s Divorce Forum”, and 2) start interviewing lawyers and developing a game plan. You potentially made some mistakes, but you can still make some maneuvers prior to filing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:02 AM
2

You’re better of talking to a/your lawyer. It’s possible you may have a Ali’s point, but will be very difficult for anyone here to decipher.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 03:59 AM
7

Hell no, man. Your fears are absolutely true. Lawyer up, and as u/wartimedad said… die on the bill that is 50/50 & you’re the primary residence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 03:56 AM
3

I’m sorry…. $20,000 per month?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 03:53 AM
2

Okay, so I take that for having shared a lease/rental. The same general advice still applies — never leave the martial home (whether owned, leased, financed). It’s often a fatal mistake, because then the opposing counsel and/or judge can interpret that as you demonstrating an ability to support two households. This means you can afford to pay a ton of money (you may or may not have) on a monthly basis for a long time. Have you or STBX filed for divorce? If not, call a lawyer in the town/city you…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 05:07 PM
1

Did you and the mother of your child share a lease/rent?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:54 PM
1

There might be something I’m missing or don’t understand from your post alone. Maybe you guys don’t have a good relationship… I don’t know. However, if that’s your response and sentiment (which, imho, doesn’t brotherly at all), then best of luck to you and your brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 03:03 PM
2

Talk to several attorneys before you do anything. Google and read “The List Men’s Divorce Forums” before you do anything. That number in CS sounds ridiculous. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 02:25 PM
2

Don’t forget demonstrating to the court you can support two households…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 02:23 PM
1

You can’t be frugal during a divorce, unless you and your wife are really amicable. Don’t go overboard, but it’s money well spent in the short- and long run. Going up against a good attorney (and not retaining a good one) can be far, far more costly. It has happened to me, friends, and colleagues. I regret not doing it from the get go. It also will give you a far greater sense of perspective and get a few for a few different lawyers in your area.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 02:20 PM
3

Yes, I call that the power of not giving a fuck. The more you tap into it, the more you’ll find the freedom I’m talking about. Embrace it! It feels damn good. Be fully the father you want to be, but recognize you can only control yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:50 AM
2

Good on you, sir.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:47 AM
1

In fact, consult with all the big time, competent lawyers in your city/town just to bar your wife from using them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:42 AM
1

Easier said then done, in all fairness.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:41 AM
1

Read “The List” while you’re at it, OP.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:40 AM
1

Your post is vague, so it’s hard to help. In case you missed it… DO.NOT.MOVE.OUT.OF.THE.HOUSE. You have been warned. Ignore it, and may the grace of God be with you, sir… for you’ll need it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:39 AM
1

Your son is 2, he doesn’t know better. Don’t take it personally or overthink it. You’re his dad. As long as you’re around, and there for him… He’ll know. You’re divorced, and you have to come to terms that you may not be the only close male figure in your son’s life, but! You’re still dad.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:34 AM
3

I hope (for your sake) you’ve finalized your divorce, and are just now moving out. If not, move back, immediately. If so, stay strong brother. Look to the future, embrace your new freedoms. You can rebuild. You can still be a father, despite the distance and hardships. Be there for him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:29 AM
4

Not sure what state you’re in, but I find that if your lawyer isn’t trying to impute minimum wage at the minimum… you need a new lawyer. Anyone can get a job at Walmart/McDonalds in this market making $13-$20 and hour. It’s not much, but it will help you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:27 AM
6

Brother, make peace with your current station and embrace the newfound freedoms you have. You have the freedom to father as you’d like but also wake up everyday and answer only to yourself. Don’t focus on the negatives or what was or has been and look to the future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:25 AM
3

Who cares? Men of power, wealth, and status throughout all of human history have done it and continue to do so... no strings attached, no baby mommas, no drama.... no support. Go for it. Hire a high-end one and have some fun... get it off your chest. Go to Costa Rica, Thailand, wherever and have fun. You don't answer to anyone. Don't go crawling back to the ex, for Gawd's sake.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 11:59 PM
5

Seriously. It's been a day or two at most? Good lord, maybe a month or two... I *could* get it..... But be there for him, as he (hopefully) was there for you when you were going through it...
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 11:56 PM
2

Simply do the things you know she'll enjoy, and enjoy her enjoying being with you. Anything that will create good memories and bonding opportunities. She being so young limits what you can do, but I'm sure you can plan an age-appropriate, fun-filled day with her... beach, then ice cream before nap.... maybe split a slice of cake in the evening and watch an tv show (check out Tinga Tinga Tales!) or movie together? You're on the right track, in any case!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 11:40 PM
10

As u/stent00 said, enjoy the puss. Enjoy lots of it -- you're free and don't need to answer to anyone. Don't get hitched to the first one you find (some people prey on the newly single man) or the next few, for that matter. Enjoy life, be a kid again (but wrap it up). Hangout, hookup, and have fun (highly recommend you read 3% Man by Corey Wayne).
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 11:30 PM
6

Well, that’s different from walking away from the kids, no?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 05:28 PM
1

Interesting story, thanks for sharing. I’m sure your parents had a memorable experience. I am neither of those things, but I do have a decent knowledge of African history, hence my knowing of Shaka Zulu. All the best to you, I know all too well how easy it is to give advice, and how much harder it is to actual believe in it. I have two young ones, and when I filed for divorce and had to parent alone, it was a truly trying experience… several years later, my relationship with them is better than …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 05:15 AM
3

The point being that unless your state/country requires proof of purchases from whomever receives support, why should you concern yourself otherwise? What about that situation can you control? Nothing, other than you meeting your legal obligations. So why cause yourself grief, stress, angst, concern over the other person’s utilization of said funds? Just hope she’s using it diligently and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 05:08 AM
3

I believe Louisiana is an exception to the norm; that’s a very fair system. Certainly don’t have that in Florida.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 05:02 AM
1

Shumba, no. Shaka, yes, the great Shaka Zulu. He’s actually the inspiration for my handle, ha. Why do you ask?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 04:00 AM
1

Focus on the positives, focus on the future, focus on your work/business, focus on your newfound freedoms, focus on yourself and your children, if you have any. That’s how you progress; we’ve all been there. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:06 AM
1

No, but then again — I filed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:01 AM
1

Sounds like you already know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:56 AM
1

Agreed. At a bare minimum give your boss the courtesy of a heads-up. Hopefully he/she is understanding, and can give you the necessary leeway (which you’ll repay by keeping up or improving your performance at work).
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:54 AM
1

It’s hard, but it does get better brother. Focus on what you can do, which is being the best dad you can be. The rest will work itself out. Turn lemons into lemonade, maybe this will be a great opportunity to spend quality father-child time with Kid 2?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:47 AM
15

It’s more therapeutic to not give a fuck. There’s a lot of freedom to be had in that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:42 AM
1

I’m glad to hear to it! My children are significantly younger (toddlers), so I can’t relate exactly. Your kids are old enough where you could talk to them about what’s going on. However, keep in mind (assuming the Judge approves mom’s request; which shouldn’t be the case…) that you can only control yourself. Just keep being the great dad you are, and it’ll work out in the end. Who knows? If it is approved, who is to say the kids wouldn’t want to move back in with you (and I presume would give yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:37 AM
3

Ditto. OP, a lot of people are divorced, I bet a lot of people around you are too. It’s (unfortunately) becoming more of the norm, and honestly, most people don’t care nor should you in the short- or long-term. You’re beginning a new chapter in your book of life… make it a positive one. Mention it to people, but don’t make it what you centrally talk about or burden people with it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:54 PM
1

Dumb post, indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:51 PM
3

At the end of the day, it’s not entirely a matter of convincing your children, but the judge. However, you need to make your childrens’ experience living under your care and tutelage as reasonably appealing as possible (I.e. do fun, memorable things with them). As long as you do that (as I’m sure you are), then don’t be overly concerned about them with regards to the matter and focus more so on the case. How old are your children?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:47 PM
3

The trick is to keep up appearances during the divorce, but execute after the divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:40 PM
1

Many truths in this response. OP, the freedoms you’ll receive afterwards, provided you have a healthy perspective of the future, is outstanding. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:13 PM
1

I’m beating the horse dead at this point, but very limited circumstances (e.g. threat of bodily harm) considered, you should NOT leave the house. Don’t give a damn what she says, or what you worked out before, just don’t do it. Move all your stuff to a single room, change the lock, leave a recorder in there just in case. Do not move out. Depending on your state, you will get totally screwed — it can be a incredibly fatal mistake, and I’m not saying that metaphorically (i.e. men have committed su…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 03:49 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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