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Boring-Boysenberry0 Archive

View 0 posts and 145 comments by Boring-Boysenberry0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Look, I do think this kind of response is often a cope...but not always. There are miserable people out there that hate on others for being happier than them, or at least appear to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 01:08 PM
–

I'd assume I was always like this. I never tried casual sex/hookups, because they always sounded gross to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 03:49 PM
–

Men do the same thing. It's both societal (varying from country/region of the country) and interpersonal for both sexes, where there's an expectation to intuit what a person may want/need. Dating each other is where it's been lost, and I think that's because of the outdated advice today's men were raised with. There was a focus on "be nice and have a good job" and not enough nurturing interpersonal skills with modern women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:32 PM
–

Humans need time to adapt. A lot of social changes have been made quickly, and as a mom of a boy (he's only a toddler), I'm taking notes. We made a mistake by not focusing on the social development of boys as we empowered girls, leading to a couple of generations of men that either get it or get left behind, and a couple of generations of women that either getting it or dropping out dating or get left behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 01:23 AM
–

Look, my social skills aren't great, but Jesus Christ, I am rolling my eyes. Men are more capable than this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 01:18 AM
–

Or maybe we should raise more men to understand nuance more? Men are more than capable of developing basic human social skills, including the capacity to comprehend nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 01:14 AM
2

Alright. As I said: give advice that's straight facts and tailored to the situation. If she's for real asking for help and I think that she will listen: suggest that she ask questions about values and use her experiences to look for red flags, I would add hold off on sex, and change where she's looking and suggest alternatives. That's not watered down and it gets to the point. If a person thinks this is misogynistic, they're unreasonable and I wouldn't bother discussing the subject with them. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:39 PM
3

Clearly not with the red pill. I'm speaking more generally. I live in a deep red state, and even by high school (2010s for me), "player" was starting to develop more negative connotations, even among conservative minded folks. It's not as insulting as "slut," but being called a "player" is less of a compliment today. It's used more to warn women that a guy only wants sex, and will use dishonesty to get it, and there's often a negative slant to the person's tone and contextual verbiage.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:23 PM
0

As with all problems, that depends on the problem. If you just state actionable advice tailored to the issue, reasonable people won't call you misogynistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:58 PM
3

Normally, when someone continues to shitty people, those close to them will either: - Give them more honest advice, although this needs them to be asking for that advice. - Quietly accept that they make poor choices. If they are a good friend, people just try to be there for them during the inevitable fallout. If they're not a good friend, people may start pulling away from them after getting sick of their bad decisions, because we have less tolerance for fucking up if we don't like or care abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:07 PM
4

To be honest, I think "player " is becoming less of a compliment. I don't hear it being used as a "rascally man that's successful getting laid" as much today. But it was recently used as a compliment, and to a lot of people, the term is less insulting than slut. So, the point still stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 08:57 PM
0

I see that in women that are not socially adjusted. We nurture the social skills of girls more, and that requires an ability to think logically during social situations. The same social traits - impulsiveness, aggression, risk-taking - are suddenly not seen as being emotional when men do it, for some reason. Here's the real hard to swallow pill: it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:08 PM
1

Except for the many, many times I have also mentioned looking outside of my social circles. You are conveniently ignoring those. You keep insisting that women are choosing to be lonely: giving up isn't the same as choosing. The men with choice also understand this, but I know for a fact that the struggling men out there don't listen to them either, and instead resent them. I see that both online and with the struggling men around me. They're as receptive to the perspective of the men with choice…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 12:27 PM
1

I have literally said that I base my ideas on: The people I surround myself with. The people I know of. By looking outside of my bubble. That's far more than just the people I'm around. You're basing your understanding on generalities and not looking any closer. Otherwise, you'd understand it is a "loneliness epidemic" and not dismiss women's perspective, and show such a limited understanding accompanied by projecting your disinterest in women's journey with the assumption that most of us don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:14 AM
1

It's not SOME. If only some women weren't dropping out, there wouldn't be so many lonely men. Who are these Schrödinger's men that most women are with, but most men are single? (It's not that 80/20 bullshit, either.) You are being part of the problem by dismissing women out of hand - the same thing that you accuse us of doing. The struggling men of today deflect and project and dismiss, and then bellyache that women don't want to work with men to fix the loneliness epidemic anymore. Thankfully, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 12:47 AM
1

See, this response is part of the problem. You accused me, a woman who has admitted that there are differences, and yet also disagrees, by advocating for how it's not better for women. I'm trying to get across how "voluntarily dropping out of dating," also known as "giving up," isn't better. It's not "women get to have our fun and then enjoy dropping out when we get ours." It's not enjoying the Cock Carousel until you're satisfied and call it. It's a feeling of defeat, and learning to look for o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 10:49 PM
1

I didn't "just agree" that most women won't struggle. I know many that do, and many that don't. Maybe as a woman, I just know and pay more attention to the many women around me. I also many men that do not struggle, and many that do; but the Internet only sees the men that struggle to get sex and/or relationships, and the women that struggle to get relationships but not sex. It's baffling to me that women that struggle to get both do exist nowadays. The struggle looks different, though. Men and …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 09:27 PM
5

My answer would be "no." Like my husband, the bonding and emotional part of sex is part of enjoying sex to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 07:38 PM
1

No, she wants to meet someone and her maladjusted behavior isn't beyond her control. She was raised in a home where she wasn't expected to respect other's boundaries and values, and she will if she's not comfortable with you and isn't around you often. So, she can. I have also known unlikeable women that can get sex and/or relationships easy. A lot of them are even able to become moms, whether they should be or not. But for some reason, there's something about my sister. She's not shooting highe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:22 PM
-1

I don't see how people think that 80/20 nonsense is the truth. The one guy I know of that's being cucked has a good job, he's a gym dude, and has a conventionally good-looking face, and he's the only guy that is being used by a woman the red pill would say is being "hypergamous." It's the normal dudes like my husband that: - Are married and have families with loyal spouses. - Have long-term relationships with loyal partners. - All of them have attractive qualities physically, but they're average…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 12:23 AM
1

I don't see how people think that 80/20 nonsense is the truth. The one guy I know of that's being cucked has a good job, he's a gym dude, and has a conventionally good-looking face, and he's the only guy that is being used by a woman the red pill would say is being "hypergamous." It's the normal dudes like my husband that: Are married and have families with loyal spouses. Have long-term relationships with loyal partners. All of them have attractive qualities physically, but they're average dudes…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 12:22 AM
–

I don't see how people think that 80/20 nonsense is the truth. The one guy I know of that's being cucked has a good job, he's a gym dude, and has a conventionally good-looking face, and he's the only guy that is being used by a woman the red pill would say is being "hypergamous." It's the normal dudes like my husband that: Are married and have families with loyal spouses. Have long-term relationships with loyal partners. All of them have attractive qualities physically, but they're average dudes…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 12:21 AM
1

I'm aware that hookups aren't all men have to offer. Again, I have male friends that can't get any attention and I'm baffled until I observe them closer. Then I see flaws that would be apparent to a lot of women, similar to how my sister can't generate any attention as soon as she opens her mouth. So, if she's not a femcel, then my incel friends aren't real incels, they're "chronically single." Because losing interest as soon as you speak to someone will close the door to everything else. No man…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:26 PM
3

It's not. It's taking the basic understanding that a lot of people suck, and tying that to some pseudoscientific psychological bullshit that says that it teaches men about "women's nature." If that means never take the risk, women should take the risk and have a family with a man, because what if he abandons us for aging or not 100% all of the time? A lot of people suck and getting married is a risk to us all.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:03 PM
3

It's not the truth because many women do stick with our man when he isn't 100%. Just as there's also a lot of women that don't. It's the same with men: there's a lot of men that don't cheat on their wife when we aren't 100%, but there's a lot of men that do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:53 PM
1

No, you haven't addressed any of my points. To you, sex on the side being available means that women will always have options if we'd just stop having standards. That's not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:48 PM
2

So, it does come with a misogynistic slant, as I keep saying. There's also the "hamster wheeling," calling women hypergamous and ready to jump ship as soon as our man isn't 100% and a man that is shows even a smidge of interest. That misogynistic nonsense is as toxic as saying that women need to stay 100% if we don't want our husband to stray. That's misandrist, because that was essentially teaching women that men can't be faithful if his wife isn't always ready and willing, and become insecure …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:46 PM
1

Yes hookups are something at least Something at least isn't an option for everyone. That's not an option if you don't want to risk pregnancy, and reserve it only for a serious relationship with someone you are willing to take that risk for. That's not an option if hook-ups damage your mental health. Also, if I did settle for sex on the side, the kind of man I wanted to meet wouldn't be attracted to me, because of sleeping around! So, I would shot myself in the foot for the future. I wasn't going…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:58 PM
2

See, this is like when feminists try to "no Scotsmen" other feminists. As a feminist, I do my best to call out misandrist feminists and toxic feminist subgroups. The red pill IS an ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:44 PM
4

But people are using it for more, and that's the red pill that is gaining traction. Those are the red pillars that I see representing the ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:40 PM
5

But the red pill isn't only about opening the door to a conversation or a first date. The misogynistic slant is part of the ideology and casts a shallow pall on dating and relationships. The red pill is mostly about getting dates, especially if hooking up is the goal. But it falls short for something more, and the misogyny portrays women that don't put out as "faking attraction" and women who do as "whores."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:34 PM
3

I never said it won't work if getting laid is the goal. But for a lot of women, getting laid isn't the goal and a lot of my male friends could settle for hook-ups did at first, only to see that hook-ups aren't satisfying for long. They stopped and saved sex for compatible and committed long-term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:22 PM
2

Modern RELATIONSHIPS are complicated. The dating stage? Show looks, confidence, charisma, assertiveness and competence. It doesn't matter that "all women are different." See, that's the problem. There's a lot of women that don't entertain a relationship, because it's a waste of time if the dating stage reveals that the date wouldn't be compatible as a relationship. Then men complain about those women treating the dating stage like an interview, when we (I was one of those women, which is how I m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:52 PM
5

The red pill is another overly simplistic ideology with a misogynistic slant. It's not "the truth about women." Here is what modern men aren't seeing: - There's a lot of women that do date for real compatibility and outright say "be nice isn't enough." - There's a lot of women that don't enjoy the status quo. - There's a lot of women that do promote the lie that nice is enough. - There's a lot of women that do enjoy the status quo. Here's the real hard to swallow pill: modern dating is hard, bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:12 PM
2

And women suffering from misogyny is shared both by experience and across the globe. Yet, I can use my brain to see that shitty men are common, and learn how to stay away from them. This is literally men learning that shitty women are as common as shitty men, and then responding to a basic fact of life (shitty people are common) by developing an ideology that says "this is women" and "here's your simplified guide to attract these women, because women are shitty and you need to follow this guide …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:58 PM
3

I love this. I'm an omnivore (I love sex), but just sausage makes for a poor diet. The eggplant (compatibility) will make the sausage dinner more well-rounded and healthy. So, for my health, I went no sausage until I could have that eggplant-sausage (a compatible man that makes me happy sexually) dinner came along. The thing is, there's a lot of eggplant-sausage dinners out there, but they may not find the correctly sized plates or have the right condiments, and these dinners aren't sure how to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:36 PM
6

According to how I was raised, I should have embraced the most misandrist takes on men out there, but I didn't. - My father hated/hates women, and literally told me that "the mother is always replaceable." - In my hometown, it was normal for teenaged boys (17 to 18 years old) to pump and dump the 12 year old middle school girls. I recognized that where I grew up were examples of misogyny and predatory behaviors, not "this is how the men are" or use my experience as an excuse to fall for a misand…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:24 PM
2

Your moral values have 0, zilch, nada to do with whether a woman will be attracted. That's not true, though! My husband and my friends do not fit the red pill's definition of an "attractive men," but they're married and/or with long-term partners that are attracted to them, because of compatibility as people. These men vetted for real compatibility, the way that women do, and found that. Only one of my husband's friends is being cucked the way the red pill warns men will be, and that friend is w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:05 PM
1

Even Disney portrayed women as needing more than niceness to feel real attraction and compatibility. It's easily digestible, but there was some nuance. Since a lot of those films were sold as being for girls, a lot of girls paid more attention to the content. Frankly, there were good lessons for boys, too. As a late Millennial, it was YA media that pushed that oversimplified "be nice and you'll get the girl" slop to boys, and then girls were encouraged to explore our personhood more deeply from …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:58 PM
1

A conversation that goes nowhere goes nowhere! You are so, SO desperate to delude yourself that women always have a choice! This conversation is going in circles because you want to gatekeep and pretend that women always have a choice, when there's loser women out there, too! And they're far more common than you think. A lot of incels don't fit YOUR definition of an incel. A lot of them "only need to lower their standards" and settle for meaningless sex, and then they too will have options!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 12:15 PM
1

Since you admitted she at least has access When did I say that? You keep saying that I have said she has access, but she can't get past initial conversations with people. She has used online dating, and that failed her. I was asked to look at her profile, and she'd get messages and that's where the interest in her died. if need be See, I'm not talking about lowering standards to just get sex. As I said: HOOK-UPS AREN'T AN OPTION FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HEALTHY FOR EVERYONE. So, if you …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:22 AM
1

Because I'm not her legal guardian. She's in therapy, but therapy is only as effective as the patient wants it to be. I go to therapy off and on, depending on the problem that's negatively affecting my life. She goes to pay someone to validate her, not to work on herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:15 AM
1

Uh huh. I have had male coworkers say that, talk to her (just general conversation), and then tell me later that they understand why she can't get a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:55 AM
1

Maybe? Me and other people that know her aren't sure if it's wilful or a deficit. We've all given up. She's 36 and I'm a mom that does not have the bandwidth for her nonsense anymore. Her dysfunction is her problem now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:39 AM
1

My dude, I'm from the USA. If most femcels are "chronically single," then most incels are, too. I have legitimately observed a lot of incels, a lot of them could find a partner if they "only lowered their standards." But I'm talking to someone who apparently cannot wrap his head around people's standards eliminating options. Yes, technically, if everyone had no standards, then everyone would have options. They would not be functional relationships, but everyone would be getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:37 AM
1

Yes. She pretends to not want to, but she does. She also wants to get married and have children. None of that is going to happen though, because she isn't likeable enough to get a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:32 AM
1

She tried. They stopped messaging her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:29 AM
1

No, she had a dating profile. That failed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:27 AM
1

But it can. My parents clearly aren't this category, but my sister is. She tried. Unless she couldn't speak, and someone else made her a dating profile and wrote messages for her, she will never get laid. Her looks are fine, but the look men get whenever she talks, and from what I am told, is discomfort. They're waiting for her to go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:21 AM
1

Again, unlikeable women and girls aren't rare. You would have to be a really, really sheltered to not know even one or to not know or know of a girl growing up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:08 AM
1

Bullshit. Every woman you have ever met has been enjoyable to be around? Even as a child? Every girl?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:52 AM
1

You have never met one socially inept and unpleasant woman that no one wants to be around?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:35 AM
1

So, socially inept women that no one wants to be around don't exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:32 AM
1

All incels I have met outside of the severely disabled have options, but like many people, the average incel refuses to give up all standards and fuck the bottom of the barrel. This also describes femcels. Also, not all people will compromise for sex. If you can't accept that, that's a you problem. I didn't and it took me years to meet my husband. If I never met him and I couldn't find another man that I'm compatible with, I would be voluntarily single for life. The risk of pregnancy from a man …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 12:19 AM
1

There are autistic men that would take women like that since they struggle all the same. Here's the funny thing: femcels and incels who are that bad socially don't want each other. She has never aimed "quite high" when she's described her type to me. My husband is her type on paper. But she isn't his or any normal, healthy person's because of her social deficits. That's not aiming high. A lot of femcels and incels have standard-standards, but they can't even meet, standard healthy behavior and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:58 PM
1

No, I mean they are legit femcels. My sister is an extreme example. She cannot make and keep platonic relationships. She has tried. She either can't comprehend how to be a socially functional person or this is a willful deficit. People find her unpleasant to be around. The only person that tolerates her is our mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 03:03 PM
1

The problem is that I do know a few, with my older sister being an extreme example. Growing up, it was common knowledge that there are women that end up unmarried and childless spinsters, not to be mistaken with purposefully single and childfree spinsters.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:20 PM
1

You're allowed to feel that way, but you're wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 01:30 PM
1

...she still has a good chance of finding someone. If she struggles to make it past initial conversations with people, in general, no, she does not. Even still sexual options are still available, which you already alluded to well in that case she isn't available a femcel. No, they're not and I'm not sure when I wrote otherwise. As I said, if she couldn't speak and someone made/wrote her profile and messages for her, and she was willing to settle for hook-ups, then yes. As I said, if someone is o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 12:18 PM
1

My dude, my brother in Christ, please re-read what I wrote: this woman can't even form and keep platonic relationships. People do not enjoy being around her at all. She has no understanding of attraction as an adult, because she does not understand other people. No one that knows her can tell if it's a willful deficit or not, and we've all given up on trying to help her or figure out her dysfunction. She is an extreme example, but I have noticed that a lot of femcels and incels don't understand …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:18 PM
2

I have known far too many women that have used the "real relationship" OLD apps that walked away for the same reason: this is a product that sells itself as one thing, but repeat customers is what businesses want. All of them are piss poor or subpar ways of matching with a comparable partner if you want marriage and a family. Again, you're missing the psychology of femcels and incels here. My experience with them, is that they are socially inept to some degree. My older sister cannot even make a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 07:55 PM
2

Options for what? Do you see the problem here? You're assuming that any attention is what I'm talking about. There's a lot of women that bail on OLD as soon as we see that its main function, today, are for hook-ups. That's the reason I quit OLD, and then met my husband through our shared friend group. Options for easy hook-ups aren't real options to someone that refuses to hook-up. But it's assumed now that people are hooking up until they settle down. Also, I'm starting to see what people don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 07:06 PM
3

The assumptions here kill me. Rather than ask more questions, you just assume based on the twisted way people understand attraction and dating today based on these fucked up apps. No wonder relations between men and women are such a mess. We are so obsessed with the physicality and quick sex, but when I tried OLD years ago, it was sold as an efficient way to meet your real match. Back then, even the early 2010s, the thought of a femcel wouldn't seem so unbelievable to people. We don't know what …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:39 AM
1

I never said all of them. But the fact is, the success of these dating apps is questionable if you look at today's dating landscape between men and women. I dropped off of these apps, because I started to see it was shallow and devoid of substance when it came to finding a real match. Again, these apps are products that aren't serving to generate real relationships and lose engagement. If a woman is looking for a real relationship, apps are wasting her time sifting through men whose standards ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 12:47 AM
1

I'll correct myself: These apps make people fixate on the physicality of dating. Because the women on those apps probably don't want to match and meet a real relationship, my dude! Those are the few women I know of that have thrived on those apps. They want attention! - These are not brutally honest, because these apps serve a subset of women's vanity, not real matching. - These are not brutally honest, because these apps are twisting dating to be about looks and immediate attraction, rather any…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 12:30 AM
1

Again, it's not a brutal and honest vote if it's twisting our perception of attraction between men and women and if a significant number of women don't use dating apps. Yes, there's millions of user and a lot of are real people, but a lot of them are bots, too. The apps have men fixating on the physicality of it all, and they aren't even aware or choose not to see that femcels aren't as rare as they think. Everyone knows a femcel, but they're invisible women because they're not getting sex or re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 11:59 PM
3

The thing is: most women are not on dating apps. The majority of women I know, including myself, didn't meet our spouse/long-term relationship on an app. A woman getting it from an app means little if you think of the fact most women aren't on dating apps. Get off of the fucking apps, dammit! Everyone knows a femcel, but a woman that can't get sex is invisible. The fixation on these apps twists with our perception of men and women so much, that I am convinced that if we stopped using them, peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 11:23 PM
4

I'm aware that socioeconomics is an influence. I think I'm dropping enough hints that we are not surrounded by affluence. It's the damn Midwest, and I can use my eyes to see that weight isn't a dealbreaker to a lot of men here. She has no social circle. When she did, it was mostly low-income folks from our rural town where we grew up, or people similar to them. This is a deep red state.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:52 PM
5

She's chubby, but she has a nice face. My dude, I see fat women with men of all sizes all the time. Being white and overweight or out-of-shape in the US isn't going to keep the average woman from a man. She'd have to be severely obese. By all metrics, most men I have asked agreed that she should be able to get a man based on her looks. But if you talk to her, you feel like you're talking a middle school girl. That's off-putting to most men, even male incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:28 PM
0

They're not. Just about all of us know a woman that can't get any, either as a relationship or sex. There's some that can't because of looks, and others because of the person herself. If a woman can't get sex, she's invisible. If a man can't get sex, people still acknowledge he exists. And neither of these groups want to be or have sex with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:54 PM
1

I'm not on speaking terms with her. OLD failed her 11 years ago, but she's not unattractive. It's her as a person. Talking to her feels like holding a conversation with a middle school girl. The only person that can stand her is our mother, and she doesn't even like her as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 07:11 PM
1

I'm not on speaking terms with her anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 07:04 PM
5

The existence of sex-negative women does not negate the existence of sex-positive women. Both are vocal groups and yet apparently you can only see one of them? If women are sex-negative, we're hated and told we're too prudish. If women are sex-positive, we're hated and told we're whores. Do you see the problem here? Also, don't be sorry for my sister. A lot of femcels and incels reach that point because of issues they can address. People get sick of trying to help them, and are pushed away by ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:28 PM
5

You know a woman like her, and yet you don't even acknowledge she exists. You don't need me to dox my shitty sister to get laid. Literally every incel man I have known knows at least one femcel or knows of one. Not even incels and femcels want to fuck each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:25 PM
6

It's not about you trying to trap anyone. A relationship "trap" does not have to be planned or on purpose. I definitely have more skills than some teen. You said you can do some chores, and then vaguely said that you have what it takes to be a homemaker. My late grandpa had to stop working early, so he filled his time by being a handyman that could remodel any room over the weekend on his own just about; and he was an involved member of the community that made himself an asset everyone in his li…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:21 PM
2

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 02:38 PM
3

You can do some chores (as long as they don't "boss you around," whatever that means) and then vaguely say that you have what it takes to be a homemaker. Even men who aren't NEETs have a problem with the "needs a mommy" trap, and that's what's damaging to modern marriages/long-term relationships. A man that has no skills and the skills equivalent to a teen, a NEET, is definitely a high risk of falling for that trap. I'm a SAHM and I confirmed that I don't have what it takes to make that lifestyl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 02:35 PM
3

Your interests in objects doesn't mean you have a good or well-rounded personality. Those subjects can be interesting, but they're not enough to carry a relationship that involves cohabitation and the long-term for most people, regardless of sex. I have limited interests and I have come to realize that it makes me a boring person, and my husband has the same problem; we're starting to feel why that's a negative, and trying to work on expanding ourselves. I just wished my NEET demographic was giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 01:57 PM
13

If you make a video game character you should not just put all your skill points in one single attribute. You should balance out your attributes based on your preferred play style. As a gamer, I appreciate this analogy. It uses a subject that can reach a lot of the men that need to hear it (even if they aren't receptive to it).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 01:52 PM
20

The female equivalent to this is single mom, fat and ugly. The funny thing, the actual female equivalent doesn't exist to most people. My older sister is a femcel that's the stereotype, same as men, and there are a lot of women out there like her. No friends, not approached and turned down anytime she approaches men she is interested in (she stopped trying to date 11 years ago because of it), stuck living with our mom - you get it. A lot of us know at least one woman in her situation, and yet, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 01:33 PM
1

I was not "truly into" any man that I felt immediate attraction for. That was a shallow, physical response. I never acted on that infatuation because of that. My husband took getting to know, growing attraction, and then we started dating. He's more attractive than anyone else on this earth to me. To me, it's "controversial" because it's a gross red pill generalization that twists the development of healthy, genuine relationships. All of the women my friends are dating/married to grew that attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:09 PM
1

I saw you deleted your message to me. Is my relationship that challenging outwardly? No, and I try to be aware of that. But I do challenge the stereotype that bisexual folks can't be monogamous. But LGBTQ+ folks that are monogamous homosexuals are challenging heteronormativity the most. They had to fight to be queer, married, and monogamous. They had to fight the assumption that queer means you go to sex clubs and sleep around. Now they're fighting to keep the right to marriage. But according to…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:06 PM
1

Again, closed-minded. Queer is also being LGBTQ+. A queer person can be not heterosexual or the sexualized political movement. By trying to monopolize being queer, you're othering other queers and pushing us away. I and monogamous homosexual queers don't have to sleep around to be queer.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 09:12 PM
1

That's contrarian and being queer. You don't have to be contrarian on every little thing to be queer. My God, this is so closed minded! You're saying that the monogamous non-heterosexual relationships that had to fight to be allowed to marry are not queer, because they don't sleep around. Fuck that noise!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 08:09 PM
1

I have met straight polyamorous folks and open-relationships more. Again, you're justifying othering queers that don't sleep around because you apparently don't know any that are monogamous. So, apparently we don't get to be included in your narrow definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:58 PM
1

I know straight polyamorous people and swingers. Like, how have you not met straight non-monogamous folks? You sound like you have a limited social circle. I don't hangout with non-monogamous folks because they always would invite me and other monogamous friends to sleep with them and their sexual partners. I don't have a lot of positive experiences around them. So, I do sound judgmental. But my point still stands that viewing life through a monogamous lens isn't strictly heteronormative. It is …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:43 PM
1

I take issue with the idea that monogamy is not culturally queer. We wouldn't have fought so hard for the right to marry if all of us slept around. You surround yourself with queers that sleep around, because you also sleep around. I surround myself with queers and straight folks that prefer monogamy. I'm viewing relationships through a monogamous lens, not a heteronormative. Because a lot of straight folks sleep around, too! It's not a queer trait and you are othering queers for choosing monoga…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:57 PM
1

It was. But now that LGBTQ+ is more accepted and is more normalized, there's an understanding that a lot of us prefer monogamy. Again, straight people sleep around all the fucking time. It's not a queer trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:25 PM
1

That's called an "open relationship" or polyamory for fucks sake! I'm talking about monogamy. These aren't sexualities. Do you need that to be explained to you, too? Also, of course you're surrounded by people like you! I'm a monogamous queer, so I'm surrounded by folks that prefer monogamy as my social circle. It's not heteronormative to prefer monogamy, and it's so gross when people say that it is. Queers can prefer monogamy! It's not a sexuality to prefer monogamy!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:22 PM
1

So, you mostly associate with queers that do hook-ups and sleep around. It's not heteronormative to not sleep around. All of my friends, both queer and otherwise, are similar to me: they prefer commitment and stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:17 PM
1

Bisexual people that date both are a thing and common! But there's also a lot of us that prefer one sex to the other for dating/relationships, but we also experience sexual attraction to both.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:14 PM
1

Yes. Most people prefer sex with someone that they have an emotional connection with. That's one of the reasons commitment is such a big deal, and cheating is seen as immoral by most. The majority of people I know that did hook-ups had a realization that that sex sucks, and developed a preference for commitment and emotional connection. They didn't shift from being heterosexual to being demisexual or become both - they are heterosexual or bisexual. You can't be two sexualities. Every "demisexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:04 PM
1

Because there's a difference between a preference that most people share and an actual sexuality. Also, there's allowed to be disagreement within the LGBT+ community.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:49 PM
1

That's an inability to feel physical sexual attraction. So, a sexuality. Again, every "demisexual" has later admitted to me that they do feel physical attraction regardless of emotional connection at times, but they only date and have sex with someone they have the emotional connection. That's normal and most people do that!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:45 PM
1

To you, maybe. But there's other LGBT+ that agree with me, just as there's other LGBT+ that agree with you. But again, preferring an emotional connection isn't a damn sexuality, and I get so tired of people trying to say that it is. Every "demisexual" I have ever met has later admitted to feeling sexual attraction without an emotional connection, but they don't do hook-ups. It is a preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:42 PM
2

Romantic. But that does not change that I'm bisexual and feel sexual attraction to women. Being bisexual does not mean I have to fuck and date both. That's a stereotype. Heteromantic/homoromantic is a preference. Bisexuality is a sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:33 PM
1

I'm queer. Being in a heterosexual marriage does not change that I'm bisexual. My husband isn't a "demisexual-heterosexual," he's a heterosexual man that didn't/doesn't do hook-ups. He isn't both queer and straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:29 PM
3

My husband doesn't prefer women, he's only sexually attracted to women period. I'm sexually attracted to both men and women, but my preference is men. The word for that is heteromantic and not "heteromanticsexual." That's what makes a sexuality different from a preference. "Demisexual" describes someone that prefers a social connection, or commitment. There's already a word for it or words for it. So, me. I'm not both a "demisexual" and "bisexual." A sexuality doesn't work that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:20 PM
3

Preferences aren't sexualities. Otherwise having a foot fetish (a preference) would make you a footsexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:14 PM
6

Because that's what they're told. As we got older, my male friends have been more honest that it varies for them more than they're comfortable saying, because that's what they've been taught is normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:57 PM
4

But that's not a sexuality. That's just wanting different levels of social connection - a preference. That's not comparable to different sexualities, like I'm bisexual and my husband is heterosexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:27 PM
7

I think that's normal? I didn't feel attracted to my husband as soon as I met him, but I felt that attraction that fast before. However, I didn't act on my lust because that's all it was; but as I naturally got to know him, I felt that attraction; and then he shot his shot, and we started dating. That's not a sexuality. That's how normal dating goes if you want committed monogamy, and not hook-ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:24 PM
47

I hate that damn term. YAAAAS! But onto why I agree and disagree on why I hate the term. If many women can relate male sexuality, I'd say that is a sign that your assumption that passive libido is the norm for female sexuality is questionable. They're both the norm, and if you're close to any men, you'll find that they're both more normal for male sexuality than stereotypes and media would portrayed. A lot of male sexuality that was normalized still for Millennials isn't true for many men. There…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:14 PM
12

A fantasy is just that: a fantasy. There's some women that want it to happen for real, but that is true of a lot of fucked up things. Most of them aren't fantasizing about the reality of being a rape victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:27 AM
7

Summer of 1993 (in the US).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:24 AM
11

I had a coworker, who had just started, show me a video of her boyfriend having a bipolar episode. It was nighttime, he was in his PJs, and all I could think was "Why would you just show this to strangers?" I get documenting a partner's mental health issues, but to then show that documentation to an irrelevant person is overstepping and fucked up. Her tone was "Look how crazy he's being! OMG!"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 02:47 PM
12

Look, I'm a mom, but many of my husband and I's friends are childfree. The Your genetic line will end with you. does not have the impact that people think it does on childfree folks. Same with warnings that "there won't be anyone to take care of you when you're older." - You're talking to people that don't value continuing a genetic lineage blindly. - A lot of the lonely old folks in the nursing home are parents, but they have no one to take care of them. Also, occasionally "coddling" your partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:53 AM
7

Historically, women and men didn't seek each other out. We were married off by our families. Choosing a man is more modern than people realize, even though we learned a bit about that in basic history classes. I take care of the people I care about because I want to, not because I'm a woman. My husband is the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:44 AM
1

Well, thank you - but I can be pretty unreasonable on a lot of other things. I suggest going through a shared friend group if at all possible. That's how my husband and I met.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:40 PM
1

No, I graduated 2012. I started high school by 08/09. I agree that people today are more socially stunted. It's probably a combination of social media, spending too much time online and not properly combining real life social etiquette with the Internet (I try to). Then there is the fact that entities (individuals, corporations, and the government) have learned how to use the Internet to influence society, and make everything more polarizing than it should be. Needless to say, being a parent tod…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:22 PM
–

Late 20s? Oof - that's no good. That's the age where they should be growing out of most shallow shit. A lot of my friends and I had met our spouse/partner by our mid-20s and were cohabitating by our late 20s, building a life. I will agree that people are more socially stunted, and it shows as regression even for my generation. I don't associate with people like that, and right now, I stay at home with my son and go to school. So, I get most of my socialization through my husband and I's friends,…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:03 PM
–

What age are you? Because I saw that kind of shallow shit at all before my mid-20s. But by my mid-20s, all of the women I know of ended up looksmatching and are with "normal but good-looking" fellas, and we are all in our early to mid 30s now. Myself included.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 08:45 PM
–

A few woman. A few. A few people have unrealistic standards - that's nothing new. Small but noticeable? I only hear about this from men, and considering that this isn't an important trait for a lot of women I know and see around me, that group of women is so small that I don't see why men fixate on them. Women talk about what we want in a man, and I don't know any woman who seriously requires a man to be as tall as possible. Even the women that mention that as a preference are happily married to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 08:36 PM
–

I don't know any woman that "selects for taller than average." Me and most of the women I know married men taller than us, and we range from shorter to the average for women. So, less than 5'5" or taller! That is a wide range of heights that consistently continue to get women. Where are these droves of women that are holding off for the tallest men? I don't see it and I never have.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:29 PM
1

Again, who the fuck seeks medicating a child that isn't having issues? What psychiatrist would sign off on that diagnosis legitimately?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 03:09 AM
3

Yes, I'd say so. I don't know anyone that would say that you should be happy with a dead bedroom, unless you knowingly are dating an asexual person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 12:53 AM
1

Why the fuck would I seek treatment if my child is fine? Do you really you need to tell the person who suffered from untreated ADHD to not seek treatment if my child fine?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 10:26 PM
1

Okay, but as I said, a parent being informed isn't a slippery slope for that. Especially if that parent has the condition that could be passed down to the kid. It's worse to suggest "good vibes" over evaluating a kid. The only person I knew that was over medicated as a kid had schizophrenia, and the treatment for that has gotten better. Even he vouches for current treatments of his condition. People need to quit pretending on social media that the professionals are idiots just because they're no…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 09:08 PM
2

So, you'd rather encourage ineffective "good vibes" and not being informed and ready to seek treatment that works, because you're paranoid about "forcing" it? That's how my mom was and fucked up both of her kids. That's how you end up neglecting your kid and depriving them of healthcare if they do need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:40 PM
1

Autism affects different people differently. They may need a professional to help them fix social deficits, especially if they have sensory issues, too. But I don't know how not knowing and hope that they are accepted by some "cool kids" is better than knowing beforehand, so that I can address issues proactively. My parents did nothing for my ADHD, or thought it'd go away. It was as useless as suggesting that autistic kids "just need to be around good vibes." My son may have my ADHD, and if he d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:13 PM
3

My advice to most men is: get off of dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:32 PM
1

So I should assume that it wouldn't? There's evidence that autism is genetic. That's why, more often than not, when a child is diagnosed with it a parent realizes that they have it. It's better to be prepared and informed than to shrug and do nothing. It's not a social contagion or whatever you "feel" it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 01:40 PM
1

There's some autism on the maternal side of my husband's family, but only a couple of cousins. My older sister has ADD and something else is going on. We had to no-contact with her, and my mom goes radio silent when I try to discuss my sister with her. She's (my mom) supporting her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:51 PM
7

Same. My husband has suggested that I be tested for it. We have a son and we want another child, so frankly, I'm more motivated to be tested soon for our kid's sake. I was diagnosed with ADHD, though, and I read that's a common preference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 08:12 PM
2

I just noticed that I didn't respond to this. If by many you mean the overwhelming majority, I agree. As I said, women have oppressed other women. That is nothing new, and many feminists agree that fact. ...the vast majority of those feminists have massive double standards where they demand women be freed from their traditional gender roles, while still expecting men to perform theirs, and punishing men who don't. If that were true, then stay-at-home-dads would not be on the rise for left leanin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:49 PM
1

When did I say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:42 AM
2

My grandma was an internalized misogynist and a misandrist, so she hated and abused both of her kids equally. She was spoiled by her parents and her older siblings (sisters and a brother) had to capitulate. She's an example of how misogyny/misandry is often a personal problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:21 AM
1

I appreciate your comments, but it is what it is. I'm glad to be done with her. But see it's men who set up the system those women are benefiting from so ultimately it's men's fault. My response would be to point out that those women are choosing to support that system, and choosing to promote an oppressive system does not absolve them of responsibility. Feminism is an ideal that has influenced women from all walks of life. Anytime an ideology is adopted by so many, there will be many different …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:17 AM
6

When I was in high school, a male classmate asked me what he should get a girl he liked for Valentine's Day. I told him that I didn't know, so I had no idea. I said he should try talking to her more to figure out what she likes. He responded by saying that I'm a girl, and told me to tell him what a girl would want the most. He then asked if he should get her flowers, and I told him sure - a lot of girls enjoy flowers. Then he asked what type of flowers he should get her, and that's when my patie…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:16 AM
1

My paternal grandma was an internalized misogynist and a misandrist. She hated and abused both of her children equally. Why? I don't know. She was spoiled by her parents and her siblings (sisters and a brother) had to capitulate to her. She was a miserable, hateful old woman that liked to bully others. Her ex-husband didn't lay a hand on her, but she used to hit anytime she wanted. After she busted a full coffee pot on his head and injured him, he started fistfights with her as a knee-jerk respo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:54 AM
1

There are many feminists that view men as being the sole oppressors of women, yes. There are also feminists that subscribe to the basic definition of feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. My husband's friend is married to a woman that holds the first view: that all men are vile and oppressive, but her husband and son are the exceptions. She was disappointed to learn she was having a boy, and said she hoped he'll be a "gaybie," as if that will make up…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:38 AM
4

If women weren't calling each other out, there would not be so many subgroups of feminists. There are so different groups that disagree on feminist ideals and exist to advocate for that group's interpretation. Also, try growing up as a girl in a rural community in a conservative state. The older women were critical and didn't shy away from using shame to belittle girls and control through fear. My US Government teacher told us that, if a girl is "one of the guys," that means "she is a slut." A 1…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:43 PM
3

...rather than the blue pill/feminist notion that women are made of sugar and spice and everything nice... If you study women's suffrage, it's well-known that women were some of the loudest opposition. Miss America (1944) was beloved celebrity after went on tour raising funds for the war effort. She also worked alongside state legislature to pass pro-women laws. After passing her title to the next Miss America, she got married, had two children, and lived on a farm in her home state. In 1952, sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:31 PM
5

yeah and women have radically differentiating opinions Yes. Men do, too. Like most advice that's simplified to one sentence, you're supposed to take it and use common sense to fill in the gaps. You wouldn't listen to every man's suggestion - you filter what advice you follow based on what work for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 06:13 PM
1

This is why there was a courting process, and men had to do things like meet the father/uncle/brothers. Actually, people grew up faster back then, because they had no other choice. The traditional family unit, the multigenerational unit, needed to marry children off to good families that can benefit each through whatever means were available to their socioeconomic class. The entire family was a unit, extended relatives and all. That is why it wasn't uncommon for people to marry sister/brother-in…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:50 AM
7

They should be, yes; but as a first-time mom, I see a lot of parents infantilizing children up to the day they turn 18. Like, I occasionally see posts by parents that want to be advised on how to show support for their teenager after learning they're non-heterosexual. For example: A parent's daughter came out as asexual at 14, and I saw a lot of responses about how - "14 is a literal child." - "She's too young for that. The only things kids should care about is who runs the fastest, or playing o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:37 AM
1

The most common warning for against bad women are looking for a meal ticket, womenwith BPD and other disorders, women that cheat, women that won't stop having kids they can't support - those are the general warnings I see the most. ...but I never thought it linked to BPD women or avoidant-attachment style women (who are completely normal at the start). I wrote that I don't blame a man that didn't know. A lot of people didn't know about BPD - awareness of BPD is recent. yet whenever a man to not …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:58 AM
2

I do see women warn men, though! I do see women give general warnings about other women. I never said that a man in a relationship with woman with BPD is himself unhealthy. I'm saying that if he is told beforehand that a relationship is unhealthy then dates the woman anyway, I'd assume makes a lot of unhealthy relationships decisions. Otherwise, I don't see how being warned a woman is unhealthy to date is anything other than a warning not to date her. I never said anything about a man that unkno…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:44 AM
2

...when men want you all the time No they don't. Again, the men in my friend group are outliers. I have known many men that don't speak out every time their shit friend dates a woman. People are less likely to out someone they're close to. Also, I never said that "only unhealthy people need to be warned about danger." I said that if someone hears a relationship with someone is unhealthy, the majority of people will infer that they shouldn't date them - or it is for those looking for healthy rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:00 AM
2

Uh, the only people that I have met that don't realize being warned that a relationship with a person is not healthy are, well, unhealthy people themselves. That is another way of saying "DANGER - STAY AWAY." A lot of relationships that end amicably ended before it became unhealthy from incompatibility, whereas if it's from instability, the relationship itself is unhealthy and often is early on. ...but do not say that women are bad people. My dude, I see women on AskFeminists admit that we (wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:34 AM
2

I see women on AskFeminist acknowledge that BPD relationships are unhealthy, but that is true even if the person with BPD is a man. My ex has BPD - he wasn't diagnosed until we broke up - and I'll be the first warn someone to stay away from dating people with BPD. A man with BPD and avoidant attachment styles are just as likely to harm their partners. Formula Feeders is a support subreddit for women that formula feed, because we are often shamed for it. The breastfeeding community says that we'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:12 AM
2

I was using "brother in Christ" as a phrase. That was to express my disbelief that you think women do not criticize each other in woman-dominated spaces. I was talking about real life, but if it needs to be on the Internet, I see women criticizing women on subs such as "AskFeminists" and the like. The sub FormulaFeeders exists because of women criticizing those of us that couldn't breastfeed, or the women that breastfeeding was not for them. The sub called ShitMomGroupsSay exists solely to criti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:42 AM
4

The "in-group" bias is influenced by a lot more than our gender. That is one of the factors, but many more take priority, and a women that prioritize the in-group will support a man that fit the in-group that she more aligns with (a social group rather than gender). Women that suffer from in-group bias may default to women when speaking generally, but they'll be quick to throw any woman that does not belong to a social in-group she subscribes to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:37 AM
1

And yet in every single female community...women are simply less likely to criticize other women. What? My brother in Christ, "mean girls" are a thing for a reason. Every woman-dominated space has them, and they tend to be middle management if the space is a workplace. Women call each other out all the time. It's not always constructive, but the fact is, women do call each other out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:30 AM
2

People believe the generalization that women's social skills are better than men's, and that is the expectation for women. The fact that parents see the social develop of girls as being more of a priority than the social develop of boys is often overlooked. Then you have me, a woman whose parents did want and neglected, on top of a learning disorder that was not being managed. Socially, men are more relatable to me. I'd love to say that only positive generalizations about women are true, but I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:11 AM
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