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Brilliant_Ad5830 Archive

View 1 post and 15 comments by Brilliant_Ad5830 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Brilliant_Ad5830/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 03:27 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I got rid of everything. It's a solid healthy way to close the chapter.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 07:30 PM
2

I hate to second guess your therapist, but getting through each day for me was more critical than mapping out my future. I wouldn't emphasize the big picture. It'll probably take a couple of years to really figure it out and find the new normal. Day to day, mindfulness did the trick for me. Distilled: Feel the feelings. But don't act on them. I did meet up with my ex a handful of times. She drunk dialed a few times beyond that. But divorce was like a sheer cliff wall for me. One way trip. Inerti…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 05:15 PM
1

I know of the Goat Yoga Club and the 9am Drinking Club. My ex is a member of both. Neither did her any favors. She was driven to do stupid things by a hateful bunch living vicariously. It impacted the entire family including college age kids. She's in a trailer park now and the clubs scattered after the drama. A new societal norm will eventually emerge that balances male and female rights. It's probably 50 years out. Right now the pendulum is going to smack around each election cycle. Volatile i…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 05:38 PM
1

It takes time. You spent 13 years with this person. You are interwoven in more ways than one. It'll take at least two years to get the mail straightened out. So, yeah, these things are typically drawn out. Hang in there. And realize there is light at the end of the tunnel. Everything you and she feel, say, or do during the divorce is emotionally charged and ephemeral. Both of your perspectives will change over and over. Don't take things said in the moment too seriously. You'll go nuts. Rarely t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 03:26 PM
1

I dated during separation. My then stbx and I had lived apart for a year by then. I had a ridiculously dysfunctional marriage. And I found this girl who was 100% the opposite. She was a harder worker than me. She challenged me. And that was genuinely fun. But ... I had emotional baggage. And she was ridiculously judgmental. We broke up. And that shattered me worse than the divorce. Brought back all sorts of doubts. It was ultimately worthwhile. But wow. Ripped my frail heart clean out of my ribc…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 04:39 PM
1

You also have to remember the cost of the divorce. Anything that can be settled out of court costs much less than a trial. Or at least in some areas. And the jump in cost of a trial is huge. So the game of chicken is breaking before it goes to trial. It can go sideways really quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 05:35 PM
2

Sounds like you're giving up a lot of child support income. Talk about this during your second consult. My lawyer cost $25k but probably saved me seven figures in alimony. So, with that in mind, I would recommend a cost analysis... but the courts can be random. Throw in a bit of tea leaves and a crystal ball. Out of 20 divorces for which I had inside knowledge, mediation only worked in two. The first, the husband was a professional graffiti artist (yep) who disappeared and the wife just wanted d…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 07:37 PM
1

It depends on state. Any adult can serve in my neck of the woods as long as they don't have an interest in the case. If it were me in my state, I'd start by calling a few of her friends and asking if they're willing to serve the papers. I bet she'll get in contact pretty quickly. The sheriff will also serve here. It's a regular service that cost $100 or so. Dunno if they have better ways of finding her than you tho.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 03:06 PM
5

23 years for me. My kids grew up. That might be part of the magic number. I felt I could handle the financial fallout of divorce while keeping them in college, which actually worked out. it came with a metric ton of stress. But, they're through college debt free. Fatherhood has evolved for me and I think I'm lucky to have been successful in that aspect. If I had felt the courts would of handled it better (as in, made sure my kids didn't get short changed and I'd be able to father them) I would h…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 09:44 PM
2

Dear penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me... (damn I'm old) I've been on at least 100 dates since divorcing a few years ago. This only happened once. But once was enough. This one girl could only date every two weeks or so because she kept a line of guys and had a full calendar. She was a mechanical engineer, had a good job, made a few "Women in Science" articles in magazines. It caught me totally off guard. And I unintentionally made an ass of myself as I put it all together out lou…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 03:16 PM
1

Similar scenario. CA is a difficult divorce state. Two years is common. If you can't change jurisdiction, get out the lawn chair, grab an iced tea. If it stays in CA... MSC (google MSC+divorce+CA) is the next step if she doesn't cooperate. Then trial. Be careful with the MSC if you go that route. It can land you in a trial, which you definitely do not want.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 04:06 PM
1

Yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 04:00 PM
1

I'm in CA. Marital finances stop on date of separation. If she ran up credit cards, it just would have come out of her portion of the home equity. No fuss. Luckily, we didn't have to put it to the test. Closing long standing credit cards will drop FICO on credit history and average account length. I think the effect is relatively minor. But a divorce is a credit low point for most. You may need every point you can get. (Mine went from 820 to 650 with absolutely no missed payments.) You may need …
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 06:29 PM
1

3.2 years isn't a long time. And 6 years of independence says a lot about her ability to provide for herself. Why would you be on the hook for alimony at all? CA trials are really rare. For a judge to solely determine alimony, it has to go to trial. Most people settle out of court ... 90% or so actually. If you settle, alimony can be just about whatever number you both can agree on. The 50/50 split is on all the assets and debts accrued DURING marriage. If you mortgaged your home, for example, s…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:55 PM
3

Judges get the ultimate say in CA divorce and sometimes veer off script and off road. Results may vary. One judge went on record saying he always tries to leave the higher earner with 60% of their paycheck. That can be a very realistic scenario for a single income household. Calculators try to land between the salaries. Your stbx may be expected to go back to work. If you want to research yourself, google "CA 4320." There are some shakey standards here. But there are also some showstoppers like …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 03:17 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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