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Brilliant_Usual_743 Archive

View 0 posts and 60 comments by Brilliant_Usual_743 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It's just as difficult dating as a woman when you have particular standards because you know you have a lot to bring to the table. The question is, do you think that you've worked/are actively working on yourself enough so that you would bring genuine value to a relationship? Another question is "Would you suggest your daughter to date someone like you in your present-day position?" You are worthy as a person fundamentally, but the change happens when you switch the direction of this frustration…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 09:56 PM
1

Whenever I hear that women have it easier when dating, it makes me so mad. Sure, it might be easier to have sex, but a relationship requires so much more and it's just as difficult finding the right man as it is finding the right woman.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/22 10:50 AM
1

I actually don't care much about the number, as long as they're STD clean and emotionally prepared to commit and put in the hard work of a healthy relationship.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 09:10 PM
1

Of course
/r/ExRedPill08/08/22 09:41 AM
1

It's not our responsibility to keep being with them to spare them the wrath of singledom and further despair. Of course I will still be empathetic and want the best for him, but the amount of pain I've felt trying to be there emotionally for men who completely disregarded my needs as anywhere near as relevant as theirs changed me so much from the bubbly and innocent woman I used to be. You wouldn't want this for your daughter. You'd want her to be a with a man who respects her, keeps her safe, r…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/22 06:48 AM
7

Look. At the end of the day, our standards are as high as we regard ourselves. If we know we bring a lot to the table (whatever that is for you: attentive, good with communication, good with kids, nurturing, affectionate, altruistic, funny, willing to work through the hard times, have an interesting enough life to enrich our partner's life as well etc.), we will want partners to match that. It's not a woman thing, it's a thing of a person who wants to be uplifted by a relationship rather than re…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 05:58 AM
7

I'm just genuinely curious why you'd think that
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 07:52 PM
6

Why?
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 07:46 PM
42

To say that it's extremely easy for women to find romantic relationships if they're looking for them is such an overstatement. It's just as hard for women to find meaningful relationships as it is for men, regardless of this difference in access to sex.
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 07:44 PM
2

It's definitely not for everybody
/r/ExRedPill20/05/22 05:32 AM
5

Not to be condescending, but I sometimes read these and I'm like "are we living on the same planet?". The majority of girls I know are extremely proactive daters/partners. Of course you'll find women who are particularly passive because that's how they prefer to go about things/ don't know any better, but those are rare cases.
/r/ExRedPill14/05/22 06:39 PM
9

I hope the intensity of this resentment dissipates slowly for you because I don't think it's doing you much service. Women are individually different, the same way men are and respond to different things based on their upbringing, attachment-styles, experiences. Genuinely hope this group helps, even a little bit ❤
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 06:24 PM
1

I would date someone shorter as long as he was into fitness or bodybuilding because I like the aestehtics of it in men and I have quite a bit of muscle and I would feel a little too heavy and self-conscious during sex, especially as I like it quite rough. It's all about how confident he'd be and much strength he'd have in spite of his height.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/22 09:52 AM
2

Female friends!!! Same situation and through female friends I'm slowly getting back out
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 11:51 PM
2

Hey you hold yourself accountable which is fantastic and definitely half the work. Wish you all the luck in figuring this out. Beyond this jealousy and little ego-trips where you want to be God on Earth is someone who's just longing to be seen, heard and approved of. Spoiler alert: that's someone deeply lovable
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 11:59 AM
2

Haha thanks 😁 Regarding cute, it's just a personal preferance. When I call a guy cute, I automatically feel like I trust him, so to my mind he's 'relationship material'. It's not something I ever call a random guy I see on the street. Regarding too masculine, if by that you mean aloof, arrogant, cold, stoic, stiff, too rational, too focused on hustling then yes, I would never in a million years be with a guy like that. I do require my man to be emotionally available, kind, humble, to not take hi…
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 11:03 AM
2

To my mind, it's good. I only personally have sex with guys I find cute. The "adorable" factor is huge with me and I find this search for being perceived as masculine redundant. I think a little bit of your problem is wanting to be objectively perceived as this hot god. The problem is that no objective anything is perceived as collectively attractive, especially when we talk about people. The golden-retriever energy and your athleticism and cuteness are a fucking great combination and should be …
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 10:06 AM
1

Bold of you to assume I'm human
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 09:14 AM
1

How do you know they start seeing you as this cute-faced atheltic guy?
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 09:13 AM
2

Why do you want all that attention?
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 09:07 AM
8

So many words, and I read nothing of substance. :(
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 08:50 AM
1

Yess, go for it! Until you're ready, just know there's a woman out there for you who will like you with all of these undesirable things you think you have in yourself. :)
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 09:48 PM
2

I was moreso refering to building real relationships rather that hooking up. Sure you'll get a lot of ladies if you're a sex symbol like that - women who like you for your status, abs, unusually straight teeth and cool haircut - you become an object, a shiny medal for women who just want sex/ a nice trip to Ibiza. The confidence these men usually have is shallow - it's based on getting things/women/acclamation which screams "I am not enough so hopefully I'll get enough to switch that around". Pe…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 09:43 PM
1

👋Eastern European woman here. It's all about control - we haven't fully found our voice yet and are more willing to swallow your shitty behaviour, lack of responsibility, misoginy etc. because society teaches us that men are supposed to be taken care of at the expense of women (happy husband-> happy life, which from what I see around creates tremendous resentment, depression, anxiety in women, feeling like walking on egshells because we are being seen as subhuman by our own men). It's about the …
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 09:26 PM
2

Being confident in your insecurity is extremely attractive because virtually everyone's insecure so we look up to people who are ok with it. Quit the I need to be fit or have the best personality. We are not universally attracted to the shitty archetype of the alpha male bullcrap who crumbles at any gay joke directed towards him and look a tad too much in mirrors. We just like real.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 09:05 PM
1

I'd say no because healing is an ongoing process. Same with "I'll get into a relationship when I'm happy". You can learn and grow while in a relationship.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 08:57 PM
1

If we look at history, we'll see a lot of people following confident fools.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 08:55 PM
3

The lower the count, the more attractive to me if I knew, although I'd never ask. If I was interested in hook-ups I wouldn't care that the body count is high and that he's a bit of a heartbreaker, but as I'm looking for something long-term, it's a great quality to not have fucked the whole planet, as self-restraint is a great indicator of success in relationships (to me). If he's been highly promiscuous, yet aware that phase was in no way conductive to real, genuine happiness or confidence, that…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/21 03:12 AM
1

John Gottman's "The Man's Guide to Women". This guy is a marriage therapist and absolutely revolutionized the field with his studies. Greatest point of reference for people who want to improve their marriage/how they relate to their partner
/r/ExRedPill19/10/21 09:47 AM
8

I get mentally prepared for them to lash out even when I communicate I appreciate them reaching out but I'm not interested, so it's uncomfortable.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/21 09:35 AM
2

Best thing I could think of is "you wouldn't want to be with a woman who tolerates inconsistent communication to begin with". Express your intentions openly in the beginning ("hey, I'd like to get into a relationship so I thought it would be fair if you knew before we got to know each other"/"hey I honestly just want to hook-up"), find out if hers are matching. If they are and she still goes cold, you are justified in asking her if she's changed her mind so that it's a transparent situation for …
/r/ExRedPill18/10/21 09:37 PM
1

Yess! There are definitely ways out. Blaming generally distracts from really diving within own pain. I recommend therapy for that. It's amazing how often these beliefs are rooted in your childhood (how you related to your mom especially). I know a bunch of people who went this route and couldn't be happier now with their decision.
/r/ExRedPill14/10/21 06:31 AM
2

It sounds like therapy would help you greatly, especially because you are aware your beliefs are affecting your life (which is an amazing first step). Because this is irrational, it will always be there unless you tackle it with a specialist. I would love to hear how that goes for you if you decide it's the right step to take!
/r/ExRedPill14/10/21 06:27 AM
1

The type of confidence genuinely confident people are attracted to is quiet. How I'd define it is knowing life's a mess and being absolutely ok with - knowing it comes with incredible suffering, but still not giving up on yourself and not starting to believe that anything you'd do is ultimately for nothing. The loudest of people, most aggressive (as in expansive) with their body language I personally found to be most insecure. Regarding your questions to yourself about where you are masculinity-…
/r/ExRedPill14/10/21 05:50 AM
1

Women look for a safe man, someone who claims they are who they are, someone who acts how they claim they do/will. We need someone we can trust with our lives, especially if we want babies and someone who is our protector (we're distressed, you attune - that also in itself builds the trust I mentioned). Facial attractiveness is just a bonus, definitely not The factor in long-term relationship, unless you just want to smash, in which case sure. True, symmetry is relatively important, but around 5…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/21 11:59 AM
2

Quick reminder that there are fantastic women out there. We also make for amazing teachers, social workers, nurses, psychologists. Even if we were less intelligent than men (which is statistically innacurate); even if we put less effort in intellectual pursuits; even if we put much too much effort in superficial things, what does it even matter at the end of the day? Our towers won't get taller by kicking and crushing all the other tall towers around. You guys are great and I'm proud of you for …
/r/ExRedPill06/10/21 09:45 PM
6

Aside from doing activities together/having similar interests and engaging according to those, emotional support/"attention" are part of our sisterhood. I see nothing that indicates we value relationships less.
/r/ExRedPill06/10/21 09:20 PM
1

I don't care what your job is as long as you're not exploited, you wouldn't have to slave away 70% of your time and we could afford me not working temporarly while taking care of the kiddos we'd plan on having, especially in the first 3 years of their development when their personalities form most and attachment needs require greatest attunement. I don't care about the hierarchical position, I care that you have the discipline to work, especially if you're big on having a family.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/21 07:20 PM
1

Not really. I make sure my male friends know from the beginning I'm not interested romantically in them. The moment I feel uncomortable around them (as in them flirting or overly qualifying themselves), I remove them.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/21 06:53 PM
1

True, healthily-expressed vulnerability is the main thing I'm looking for in a long tems relationship and the thing that makes me connect and love him more and want to keep him safe and have his back and kiss and nurture him. It's definitely my biggest turn on in a relationship to have a man fully trust me with his inner experience. Vulnerability when it's not whining or it doesn't have this consistent idea of "the world is against me" attached to it and it's a pure, raw aknowledgement of going …
/r/ExRedPill01/10/21 01:05 PM
1

I love this perspective
/r/ExRedPill28/09/21 08:05 PM
2

The thing is that cheating has since forever been common and you always run the risk of getting cheated on regardless of how cool or rich or handsome you think you are because we can't own anyone's decisions. People don't owe us loyalty, it's something they willingly chose to give to us or not and when they don't, we either choose to forgive them or remove them from our lives. You can't foolproof anything like that really, but there are definitely lessons in any experiences. I'd say the benefits…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/21 08:02 PM
1

First off, you're good enough to date. We all have deep-rooted issues and believing you're only ready/worthy of being dated with once you figure yourself out and become that guy you just described is probably the worst advice I've been hearing recently. Most of us just look for a man who's kind, giving, honest and comfortable in who he is and his pains. We don't really want a man we can't relate to on a human experience level for long-term relationships. We want to see the anger, the frustration…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 09:58 PM
2

First off, you're good enough to date. We all have deep-rooted issues and believing you're only ready/worthy of being dated with once you figure yourself out and become that guy you just described is probably the worst advice I've been hearing recently. Most of us just look for a man who's kind, giving, honest and comfortable in who he is and his pains. We don't really want a man we can't relate to on a human experience level for long-term relationships. We want to see the anger, the frustration…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 09:58 PM
4

I highly doubt the validity of the first paragraph. Do you have a source for it? As to female behavior/ male behavior, isn't it all about building the assertiveness to express needs and feelings fully without the fear of being rejected by our partners, regardless of gender? There are healthy individuals out there, no? Both male and female. To assume that women are fundamentally and intentionally deceiving is well 1. Untrue as there are no credible studies out there having addressed this and 2. Q…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 10:18 PM
4

Whenever I hear "high value man" my spine detaches from my body and somehow returns through my ears back in there. Imagine if we just refered to people as genuine or really not that genuine, kind or kinda mean. What is this establishing of value based on men's position in this insane, soul-stealing, mind-stirring, life-sucking consumer capitalism bullcrap/ on them being seemingly in control of living acting like abolute stoics when no one is not lost and not lonely because language is limited an…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 10:07 PM
4

It's a thing in the sense that the quality of our eggs decreases exponentially with time after 30 or so, as well as fertility itself. As to youthfulness, it's a multifaceted discussion. If we are deeply invested in self-care, we can delay the signs of time on our bodies, sure, and remain youthful for as long as possible, but when it comes to genuine beauty, the factors are different. I constantly meet women over 30-40-50 y.o. who are just jawdropping in their radiance, which is something I and a…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 09:31 PM
5

What makes you think that?
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 08:56 PM
9

Yesss! Same with pictures of them and their cars. I noticed a trend recently of guys posing in front of Gucci or other brands like that which makes me scream haha. It does subliminally suggest that they're defined by those things when they do that
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 08:49 PM
2

Absolutely! There's nothing more mesmerizing than having my man dominated by me to oblivion. It creates such a profound bond and a lot of trust between us. I equally love being dominated by him. There's nothing more beautiful than a man dropping his masks and surrendering to his adoring partner, slowly giving up this learned pressure of being in control, and having to constantly choose the pace or the direction. Dominance is and should be that, a sexual fantasy. When we're out in the world, we'r…
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 08:44 PM
1

How do you define a dominant man?
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 08:27 PM
1

FDS is out there as a messed up tool to turn genuine hurt (following a breakup/multiple breakups with unwisely chosen partners) in anger, which is psychologically easier on us as people to deal with. Same with the communities of men who gather around saying women are evil, selfish, manipulative etc. It's all am attempt to escape genuine self evaluation. "Why did I choose abusive partners?" "Why am I afraid of sincere committment?" "Why do I run away when my date seems emotionally available?" Mos…
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 07:40 PM
2

If a man is loyal, wants a big family some time in the future, is honest, responsible and genuinely kind-hearted, I will easily overlook height.
/r/ExRedPill18/09/21 03:57 PM
3

Your problem is you think all women want conventionally attractive men, which can't be further from the truth. You need to focus on what you can control to increase your confidence a little bit more. We first start with the shortcuts. First of all, the world doesn't revolve around you. In the grand scheme of things, you are extremely small. No one gives a dang how you look, we are too preoccupied with our own lives and experiences. Now that we have that out of the way, here are some expedient ar…
/r/ExRedPill12/08/21 06:34 PM
1

My 2 cents: 1. You wouldn't have allowed yourself to get to know another person if everything went great with the first one. It sounds like this second one you like more 2. Why do you date long distance and virtual? Experience makes it that people and energies tend to be different in real life and the honey moon phase lasts more online which makes it more difficult to see the actual person behind the hormones and excitement
/r/ExRedPill11/08/21 05:05 PM
3

Haha great question. The first one was my first boyfriend ever and I genuinely wanted it to be the last one because I value relationships and I wanted to make it work. He was really nice in the beginning, made me feel so special, we connected intellectually so much (we could talk for hours and hours on end) and the sex was fantastic, he was really surprisingly very giving in bed. I invested so much time and emotions in him and I stayed consistent, but slowly his mask fell off and he stopped inve…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/21 05:30 AM
11

These are wonderful, thanks! In my last relationship the shit-testing was on another level, I just now realized because of your post. Talking often about his exes, showing me photos of them in their most stunning outfits/gorgous makeup, saying how they're still messaging him after realizing they fucked up. Crazy how it goes
/r/ExRedPill07/08/21 07:45 AM
46

I've dated 2 of them with these things in common: they called themselves alphas they've had a poor relationship with their mom and a not too virtuous or inconsistent dad they claim every societal instablity was/is caused by women, mostly due to feminism. This belief that "men have gotten weaker because women have gotten louder and more aggressive" is usually a great indicator for some reason (and I would love your guys' input here), they both watched religiously Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson and we…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/21 07:26 AM
2

I think the whole beta/alpha creates even further division where there shouldn't be any. If we are healthy enough as women and have put in the effort to heal and become just better, more insightful human beings, we settle down for men who are assertive because it shows they respect themselves and the people around them, warm, loving, honest, vulnerable and consistent in their efforts with us. Even this is hugely subjective. It greatly depends on each woman's personal values I think. If I priorit…
/r/ExRedPill05/08/21 10:31 AM
6

Haha the fact that he calls himself a "marriage coach" absolutely kills me
/r/ExRedPill31/07/21 04:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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